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SUBTITLES BY LUIS-SUBS
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Hey, Jas, you awake?
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Jason?
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Jason, you awake?
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Yeah, been up for hours.
Just getting dressed.
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You finish your English paper?
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I did it last night.
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Did you eat your oatmeal?
10
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Yeah. Thanks, Mom.
It was delicious.
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Here you go, Trooper.
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Nice board, Shepherd.
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Bret,
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I'd love to stay and be physically
and emotionally abused by you guys,
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but I should get to school.
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Ow.
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I had a feeling you were an
excellent bully, and I was right.
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Take it easy.
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Give me the skateboard.
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You sure? Because now you're going from
harmless bully to hardened boardjacker.
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You don't want that, do you?
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I assume everyone completed their
creative writing assignments.
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Read your assignments in a
slow and peaceful manner.
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You, Joshua. Go.
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My dog ate it?
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I know you don't have a dog.
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Right. Sorry.
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00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,799
Ms. Caldwell?
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00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,279
Yes, Kaylee.
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Can you open the door?
It's kind of toasty in here.
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I suppose so.
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Jason Shepherd. Did you just
come in from that window?
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No, you looked a little flushed.
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I was just creating a cross-draft.
35
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Now that we're all comfortable,
why don't you read us your story?
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Let's give someone else a chance.
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No, I think we'd all
like to hear yours.
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You did do it, didn't you?
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Ms. Caldwell.
Can I call you Phyllis?
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No.
Understood.
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But, as much as I wanted
to write my paper,
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I mean I really, really wanted
to write my paper, I couldn't.
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I spent all last night in the
Greenbury General emergency room.
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See, my mom made Swedish
meatballs for dinner.
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My dad's favorite. He was so excited,
he accidentally swallowed one whole.
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It was awful. He started choking.
His face turned purple.
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The meatball was literally
bulging out his neck.
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We rushed him to the ER.
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00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,949
I tried to write it in the waiting
room, but it was too hard.
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I needed to be by my father's side.
After all, he's the only dad I got.
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00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,302
You're lying through your
teeth, you little demon.
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I wish I were.
Call my dad if you want.
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His number is 555-0147.
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I think I will.
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Are you crazy? You're totally
going to get busted.
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Say, "Harry Shepherd's office."
No way.
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Help me out!
What can I do?
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How about write the paper?
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Do it.
No!
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Harry Shepherd's office.
One moment, please.
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Hello?
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Hello, Ms. Caldwell.
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Yes, it's true.
It was terrifying.
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I started to see the white light.
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I was just about to cross
over to the other side
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when I heard an angel's
voice calling out.
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When I opened my eyes
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00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,079
I saw my sweet, sweet
Jason standing over me.
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I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper.
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"I ain't done living yet."
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And with every ounce of gas
I had left in my body,
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I burped that meatball
right across the room.
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And I owe it all to my son.
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I'm sorry, Ms. Caldwell.
I should stop talking now.
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My throat is still
very sore. Thank you.
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Jason?
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I am so sorry.
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You just take your time
handing in that assignment.
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00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,585
Thank you.
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00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,905
Now back to those creative essays.
You, Trevor. Go.
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Jason! Just who I was looking for.
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I need to see you in here.
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I would love to hang out
and chat with you, Ms. C,
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but I've got to go home and
help take care of my dad.
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Oh, really?
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00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,239
How could you lie to us, Jas?
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You told me you wrote that paper.
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I don't know.
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Unfortunately, that essay counts for
one-third of Jason's semester grade.
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00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,599
Without it, he'll fail the class.
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00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,079
He'll have to repeat
the course in summer school.
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What?
I can't go to summer school!
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There must be something
he can do to make it up.
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I'm teaching English as a second language
at the community college until 6:00.
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If you can get me the paper by
then, I'll consider counting it.
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00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,119
Don't even think of downloading
something from the Net, Jason.
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I want that essay handwritten.
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00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,279
A 1,000-word story in three hours?
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00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,346
It should be no problem, making up
stories is your God-given talent.
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00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,230
Making up stories is
your God-given talent.
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"Big
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"Fat
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"Liar."
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"Kenny Trooper was the
world's biggest liar.
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"They say a little lie
can grow bigger.
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"One man will pay the price.
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"People everywhere stopped and
stared at the big, fat liar. "
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Yes!
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Why'd he have to steal
my board today?
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Nice wheels, Shepherd!
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Freak!
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Sir?
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I think we just hit a kid.
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I'm on the phone.
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Sorry about that. Apparently we
ran over a kid or something.
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You all right there, buddy?
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Yeah.
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But you have to help get me
to the community college
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in two minutes or
I fail eighth grade.
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What is going on here?
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I need a ride.
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What am I, running a taxi service?
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It's right down the road! You're lucky
I don't sue you for whiplash!
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00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,629
Actually, my neck
does feel pretty stiff.
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Get in the car.
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Watch the shoes.
Watch the shoes.
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Man. If you only knew
the kind of day I've had.
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Yeah, it must be really,
really tough to be 11.
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I'm actually 14.
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My mistake.
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Jason Shepherd.
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00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,071
Marty Wolf.
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Famous Hollywood producer.
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I'm in town shooting
my new picture.
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00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,831
Oh, yeah, you're that guy.
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00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,509
Dude, no offense, but you have made
some stinkers in the last few years.
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00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,039
Everyone has a dry spell, Ebert.
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It's Jason.
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Trust me, all it takes is one
hit to get you back on top.
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That's what I'm counting
on with this story.
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00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,961
Really? Why don't you
tell me more about that?
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I tried to get out of
it, but I got busted.
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00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,719
What'd you say?
Dog ate your homework?
144
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,022
No. Dad choked on a meatball.
145
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,342
You spent all night
with him in the ER?
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00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,959
Yeah.
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00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,119
Teacher called the old man to confirm.
You imitated him.
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00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,831
Yeah, pretty much.
149
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,519
Listen and learn, short stack.
Here's where you went wrong.
150
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,079
You should've made your dad your
sister, the meatball a chicken wing.
151
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,879
Much easier to swallow, if you
G.M.D., which means, "Get my drift."
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Wow. You're good.
153
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,919
No, no. I'm the best.
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Here we are.
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00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,159
All right.
God bless you, Jared.
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00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,279
It's Jason.
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00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,902
And it always will be. Now you keep
practicing those lies, Jiminy.
158
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:43,229
Because you can take it from me:
The truth, it's overrated.
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Now get out! I got a
movie to produce!
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Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.
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Ciao.
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Earl! You left...
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Back to the set, sir?
164
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,427
Yeah! Double time it, driver!
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00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,799
Listen, Whitaker,
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I'm not your sister, I'm not your
girlfriend and I'm not your priest.
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So if you want to remain my partner,
I've got two words for you.
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00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,639
Shut the heck up!
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00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,022
You talk way too much!
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00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,439
Can we cut? Can we...
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00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,279
This ain't working for me at all.
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00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,719
What are you doing?
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00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,624
Are you trying to fumigate me?
174
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:41,868
Why did you call cut? I did not
tell you to stop acting, Urkel.
175
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,469
Wolf, how many times have I
told you not to call me Urkel?
176
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,879
My name is Jaleel White, okay?
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00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,839
Urkel was a character
I played when I was a child!
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00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,943
Okay, Jaleel.
What's the problem?
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00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,462
You want to know the problem?
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00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,479
I'm getting nothing
from the chicken.
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00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,239
He just sits there with
his head slumped over.
182
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,146
I have no idea
what my motivation is.
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00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,399
Well, you're a police
officer named Fowl.
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00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,519
Mmm-hmm.
185
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,479
Your new partner is a crime-fighting
chicken named Whitaker.
186
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:15,719
And your motivation is a nice, fat paycheck
that keeps you from working at McDonald's!
187
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,909
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
188
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,759
Watch yourself, Wolf.
Watch yourself.
189
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,586
No, you watch yourself, pal!
190
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,759
You're lucky I'm not making you wear
the freaky glasses and suspenders.
191
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,279
I swear. I was riding Janie's
old bike and some limo hit me.
192
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,639
They offered me a ride. I must
have forgotten it in there.
193
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,639
Give us one reason
why should we believe you.
194
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,307
Because it's true.
195
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,661
There was some guy in the limo,
Marty something. Maybe he took it.
196
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,719
What are our options?
197
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,864
Without the essay, summer school.
198
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,865
Or summer school.
199
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:05,159
Today, students, we are going to learn
about the joys of a special friend
200
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,385
I like to call "Mr. Semicolon."
201
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,999
The semicolon was first used in a
202
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,319
1734 letter to
British Parliament...
203
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,479
Shh.
204
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:23,627
...by Mr. Jedediah Wilkinson.
205
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,039
W-I-L...
206
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,999
Help me.
207
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,759
Come on, Jason. You must have
made at least one friend.
208
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:41,588
Yeah. The kid behind me who kept
flicking boogers at my neck?
209
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,359
He seemed like a really nice guy.
210
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,119
I shouldn't even be in
that stupid summer school.
211
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,230
If it makes you feel better, my
parents are taking an adventure.
212
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,479
They're going river rafting
in the Grand Canyon.
213
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,599
But do I get an adventure?
No.
214
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,905
My big adventure is staying at my
Grandma Pearl's with her toe fungus.
215
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,279
You can hang out at my place.
216
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,359
My folks are taking a long weekend at
some health spa for their anniversary.
217
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,345
It'll just be me and Janie
from Thursday till Sunday.
218
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,502
In a time
219
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,184
when a little lie
220
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,479
can grow bigger
221
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,783
and bigger,
222
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,588
one man will pay the price.
223
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,270
Next summer, people everywhere
224
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,187
will stop and stare.
225
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,100
Marty Wolf Pictures presents
226
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,999
Kenny Trooper,
227
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:47,101
the big, fat liar.
228
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,144
You want to see it?
229
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,867
See it?
I think I wrote it!
230
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,639
Not that again, Jason.
231
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,590
I'm telling you!
232
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,903
Wait. This is it.
233
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,759
Big Fat Liar is already being touted
as next summer's must-see movie event.
234
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,839
I recently talked to Marty Wolf,
235
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,599
the mastermind behind this
sure-to-be blockbuster.
236
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,599
That's him.
It's the guy from the limo!
237
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,519
Where'd you come up with this idea?
238
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,479
Some ideas you struggle
and struggle with
239
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:23,599
but the great ones, well,
they just come to you.
240
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,599
Yeah, from my backpack, you loser!
241
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,439
Jason.
242
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,599
Dad,
243
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,109
I'm serious.
That guy stole my paper.
244
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,104
You have to believe me.
245
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,311
I can't.
246
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,784
I just don't trust you
right now, Jas.
247
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,559
Have a nice weekend.
248
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,919
We will.
249
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,585
See you on Sunday.
Have fun.
250
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,919
Look out for your brother, Janie.
251
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,599
Bye. Daddy.
Bye-bye.
252
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,743
We'll miss you guys.
253
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,799
Later. I'm going over to Rudy's.
254
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,959
Rudy?
255
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,944
Yo, what's up, dog?
256
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,105
How you living?
257
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,239
It's crackin', kid.
258
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,470
Peace out, little G.
259
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,141
Booyah!
260
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,879
He's not literally a
catcher eating rye bread.
261
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,310
It's more of a metaphor for
a state of adolescent angst.
262
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,639
We need to talk.
I'm tutoring.
263
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,759
Bet you wish you still
had your skateboard.
264
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,184
Let's see.
Fully-developed brain,
265
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,879
skateboard.
266
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,199
I think I'll take the brain.
267
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,343
But I have your skateboard.
268
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,439
Kaylee, pack your bags.
We're going on a trip.
269
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,119
I can't just go to Los Angeles.
270
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,599
I can't have my parents
thinking I'm a liar.
271
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,759
You are a liar.
272
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:16,559
In general, that's true. But this time I'm
telling the truth. I wrote that paper.
273
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,239
I won't rest until Wolf admits he
stole it and my parents know it.
274
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,020
What are we supposed to do,
walk across the country?
275
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,239
Three years of yard work and babysitting
money. Our flight leaves in two hours.
276
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,862
What about my Grandma Pearl?
I'm staying at her house.
277
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,541
That woman doesn't even
know what year it is.
278
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,959
You said you wanted an adventure.
279
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,239
We'll go to LA, I'll get my paper,
and we'll be back before Sunday.
280
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,464
My grandma will notice if I
don't even show up at all!
281
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,599
Kaylee, have you got a plunger?
282
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,559
I took a dookie and I clogged up
the toilet! Oh, boy! Oh, no!
283
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,545
What a mess.
284
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,639
This won't work.
She's not that blind and senile.
285
00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:59,759
It'll work.
286
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,879
If any of my teammates
see me, you're dead.
287
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,439
We made a deal.
288
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,902
You want us to do your summer
school homework or not?
289
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:10,039
Yeah, it's just that...
It's only a few days.
290
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,820
And remember to make your
voice sound like a girl's.
291
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,185
Come on, big fella.
292
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,279
Who's there?
293
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,679
I've got a gun.
294
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,142
It's just Kaylee, Grandma.
295
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,621
Kaylee?
296
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,119
You can't be Kaylee.
You've grown so tall.
297
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,230
And you're so muscular.
298
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,559
I'm benching like 220, 230.
299
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,386
Good for you.
Give me a hug.
300
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,781
Come on.
301
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,319
Welcome to Los Angeles
International Airport.
302
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,181
Airport shuttles are located
outside the baggage claiming area.
303
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,799
Follow my lead.
304
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,704
Okay.
305
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,864
Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.
306
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,559
Are you serious?
307
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,919
Is there a problem?
308
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,221
No.
309
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,719
You're kind of young to be the biggest
fur coat distributor in the Midwest.
310
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,661
It's a family business. I've been
selling pelts since I was a baby.
311
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,661
Okay.
312
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,599
I'm Frank.
313
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,959
We want to get some sightseeing in
before we cover this town in fur.
314
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,119
Okay.
315
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:58,425
So, this here is a little
place I like to call
316
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,102
Los Angeles.
317
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,679
Thanks for the lift, Frank.
We'll take it from here.
318
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,879
You got it, Mr. Stroog. Look, here's my card.
If you need a ride, give me a shout-out.
319
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,306
Thanks.
320
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,119
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
321
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,799
This is Ron, your driver. And
I am Arthur, your tour guide.
322
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,399
So, what's the plan?
323
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,119
When we get to Wolf's building,
we jump off, infiltrate his office,
324
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,661
make him admit he stole my story.
325
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,145
That's it? That's the lamest
plan I've ever heard.
326
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,303
Trust me, it's going to work.
327
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,302
So stay tuned.
328
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,919
Folks, this is the backlot, where
many of our hit movies are made.
329
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaking of movies, in just a
few days we begin filming...
330
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,303
Come on.
Follow me.
331
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,679
Excuse me, where is Stage two?
332
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,142
Security. Let's go.
333
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,386
Can I take a moment to say
how totally awesome this is?
334
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:35,942
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Please hold.
335
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,759
Can I help you?
336
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,599
We're here to see Marty Wolf.
337
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,629
Do you have an appointment?
338
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,461
I ask you,
339
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,199
Astrid, what kind
of sick world is this
340
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,788
when children need an appointment
to see their own father?
341
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,504
Mr. Wolf doesn't have children.
342
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,239
Not that he knows of.
343
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,519
Shh.
344
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,759
Look, this will be an emotional
reunion for all of us,
345
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,639
so once you let us in, probably gonna
want to hold Papa's calls as well.
346
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,640
Mr. Wolf doesn't see anyone
without an appointment.
347
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,022
Marty Wolf Pictures.
348
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,027
No, she stepped away.
349
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,868
I'd love to take a message.
You got it.
350
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,025
Well, if you'd slow down, then...
351
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,959
Help me out.
No.
352
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,439
Help me out.
No.
353
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,999
Help me out.
Okay.
354
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,145
Marty Wolf Pictures.
One moment, please.
355
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,380
Operator.
Marty Wolf Pictures, please.
356
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,279
Marty Wolf Pictures.
357
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,359
Astrid Barker, please.
358
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:48,919
This is Doris Del Rio down in parking.
Do you drive a Saturn, ma'am?
359
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,239
Yes.
360
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,839
Well, it's...
361
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,079
Um...
362
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,399
Parked on a dog.
363
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,239
I am not going to say that.
Come on.
364
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,479
Hello?
365
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,919
Your car is parked on a dog.
366
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,383
My car is parked on a dog?
367
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,479
Yes, ma'am. In the tail
area, to be more specific.
368
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,863
It's gruesome. Listen for yourself.
369
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,344
Hang on. I'm coming!
Don't die!
370
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,871
Just stay. Keep breathing.
Think of a happy place.
371
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,426
Keep a lookout. I'm sure this thing
will be over in just a few minutes.
372
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Can I take a message?
373
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,146
Mr. Wolf is about
to go into a meeting.
374
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,061
Uh-huh.
375
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,102
Sandier.
376
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,479
We're not just looking for my
personal organizer, Monty.
377
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,719
That thing is my life! If you
lost it, then you've killed me.
378
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:09,025
Draw a line of chalk around
me, baby, because I am dead!
379
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,439
I understand that!
380
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,559
No, you don't.
381
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,159
You always say that.
No, you don't.
382
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,159
Did you check your jacket pocket?
383
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,999
Do I look like a moron?
384
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,599
No, it's just if you
remember that one time...
385
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,519
Fine, Monty. Fine.
386
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,983
If it'll make you happy,
I'll check my jacket pocket.
387
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,020
It's in there.
388
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,347
Hello?
389
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,903
Excuse me. How's it going?
390
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,479
Who are you?
391
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,102
Jason Shepherd. Remember me?
I wrote Big Fat Liar.
392
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,719
Uh...
393
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,982
Monty, hold my calls.
394
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:57,347
Give me a few minutes alone
here with Mr. Shepherd.
395
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,502
Well, well, well.
396
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,343
Jason Shepherd. The young man
from Greenbury, Michigan.
397
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,863
I must tell you,
this is quite a surprise.
398
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,719
What can I do for you?
399
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,559
Call my dad and tell him you
stole the story from me.
400
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,340
Call your dad? Why?
401
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,399
It's the truth and you're
the only one he'll believe.
402
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,639
You traveled halfway
across the country
403
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,639
to have me tell your dad
you did your homework?
404
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,830
Make that phone call, and you'll
never hear from me again.
405
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,919
Okay.
Really?
406
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,381
Yes.
407
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,399
It's a great piece of work, kid.
And I'm not just blowing smoke.
408
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,439
I refer back to it whenever I
get in a bind on the script.
409
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,981
You'll return it to me
and make the call?
410
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:04,744
You gave me my movie, Shepherd. It's
the very least I can do for you.
411
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,959
You smoke cigars, hot shot?
412
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,039
I'm 14, Wolf.
413
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,671
Suit yourself.
414
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,345
Jason Shepherd of
Greenbury, Michigan,
415
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,741
it was a pleasure
doing business with you.
416
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,119
Oh!
No!
417
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,639
What have I done?
418
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,980
Stand back, son. Let me try and
stamp it out with this lit cigar.
419
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,942
I seem to be making matters worse.
420
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,984
Good move, Smoky!
421
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,069
Hold on! Help is on the way.
422
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,465
Stand back!
423
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:55,919
You're sick! All I wanted you to do was
to tell my dad I wrote that paper!
424
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,679
Or what? You'd shoot me with a spitball?
Give me a wedgie?
425
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:05,279
Grow up! This is Hollywood, baby.
It's a dog-eat-dog town.
426
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,239
Worse. We got cats eating cats.
427
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,909
We got fish munching fish.
We play by our own rules.
428
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,599
I'm not leaving until
you make that call!
429
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,062
I'll make a call, all right.
430
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,999
Malone speaking.
431
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,399
Rocco, this is the Wolf.
432
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,021
Send some of your boys
down here. I got a Code W.
433
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,346
Another angry writer refusing
to leave. Wolf out.
434
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,039
I tried to play fair, Wolf,
but you asked for it!
435
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,959
You don't know who
you're messing with!
436
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,307
Come on!
437
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,822
Thanks for holding. Can you
spell Soderbergh for me?
438
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,504
Thanks, Steven.
I'll have Mr. Wolf return.
439
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,359
Marty Wolf Pictures.
440
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,869
You don't understand!
Let go!
441
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,865
It was my idea!
442
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,759
And I wrote The Nutty Professor.
I've heard it all before.
443
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,199
Get off me!
444
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,559
Hi.
445
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,159
Hi, Astrid. Adam Sandier
called to set up a lunch.
446
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,101
I sent flowers to Meg Ryan because she
sounded like she had a little cold.
447
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,719
And I scheduled a deep body
massage for you at 3:00.
448
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,546
You look like you could
use a little "you" time.
449
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,799
Thank you, kind stranger.
450
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,946
What can I say? This is Hollywood,
Kaylee. It's a fish-eat-fish town.
451
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,679
They play by their
own rules out here!
452
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,119
Does that mean we're going home?
453
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,468
As soon as Wolf admits
he stole my story.
454
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,999
I'm not trying to be negative,
455
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,319
but didn't we just find out
Wolf isn't going to admit that?
456
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,439
He'll do it.
457
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:41,519
How?
458
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,061
Because I have his life
in the palm of my hand.
459
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,747
Great. So we're stealing now?
460
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,759
We're not stealing, we're borrowing.
461
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:53,119
I have Wolf's alarm codes, credit
card numbers, his schedule.
462
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,159
So?
463
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,199
So, this is awesome.
464
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,359
In a day, I'll figure out how
to use this info against him.
465
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,264
I don't know, Jas.
466
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,820
I can't go home until
my dad knows the truth.
467
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,742
If you saw how he looked at me.
It was like...
468
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,103
I don't know, like I
wasn't his kid anymore.
469
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,422
Do you think your plan might
include food and a place to sleep?
470
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,468
The guard!
Let's get out of here.
471
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,788
Let's check out that warehouse.
472
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,541
Looks like we found
our temporary home.
473
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,662
Look at all this stuff.
474
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,759
All right, Kaylee. We'll need
clothes and supplies. Let's hunker down
475
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,064
until the law dogs leave, then
start racking up the merch.
476
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,223
What are you talking about?
477
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:39,230
We stay here until closing
time, then we go shopping.
478
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,027
Jas?
479
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,945
I'm at the beach!
480
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,639
Frank? Mr. Stroog. Meet us
at the studio gate in 20.
481
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,941
Hey.
482
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,919
What's with the Cokes?
483
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,319
The machine, it's
great, they're free.
484
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,110
They're free.
485
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,622
Good morning, Frank.
Let's get moving.
486
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,942
We've got furs to sell.
487
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,039
Fur coat king of the
Midwest, my butt!
488
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:35,345
I got some R-rated dialogue
for you, but I'll keep it PG.
489
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,785
You owe me $100
for yesterday's ride.
490
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,304
You almost cost me my job.
491
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,639
I'm sorry.
I can explain.
492
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,119
Hear that?
493
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,599
If we could...
I don't want to hear it, okay?
494
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,706
I'm sorry. We came here to get
even with this guy, Marty Wolf.
495
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,199
He stole my story
and he's making it into...
496
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,279
Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?
497
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,519
You know him?
498
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,999
I used to drive him.
He fired me last year.
499
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,079
Why?
500
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,506
I'm an actor. See?
501
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,039
I asked him if I could audition
for one of his movies.
502
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,919
He could have just said no.
Instead, he takes my headshot,
503
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,599
writes "loser" across my forehead,
504
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,719
and faxes it to every
casting director in town.
505
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,239
You poor thing.
506
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,908
If you want to mess with
Wolf, I got your back.
507
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,907
Today, it's know the enemy.
508
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,751
Right on schedule.
509
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,279
We begin production in two days.
510
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,982
Dusty! El director!
First up's the big stunt.
511
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,799
I want to blow them away at the start!
Hit me, kiddo.
512
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,559
Rock and roll, baby.
I am ready to party.
513
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,039
We open.
Twelve different camera angles.
514
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,787
Smoke ascending from the
streets of the city. Kastang!
515
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,879
Birds descending from the heavens,
516
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,159
like winged messengers
from above, beckoning.
517
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,462
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
518
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,599
Confucius say, "Easy does it," skippy.
519
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,268
I can barely afford one camera,
let alone 12. And no birds.
520
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,710
Monty! Talk to me about the budget!
521
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:41,079
We're $2 million over, and the studio
hasn't approved the new budget.
522
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,999
When are they supposed to do that?
523
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,589
Tomorrow morning. You have a breakfast
meeting at Marcus Duncan's house.
524
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,599
A breakfast meeting at
Marcus Duncan's house.
525
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,519
Tell our little "vice president" he
can drag his sorry butt to my place
526
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,999
if he wants to talk
to the Wolf Man.
527
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,302
Actually, sir,
528
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,140
he's not the V.P. anymore.
529
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,345
He's the president.
530
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,744
I see.
531
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,344
Get his address, then.
We don't want to be late, do we?
532
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,501
Next!
533
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,039
For a big movie,
you need a big stunt.
534
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,359
For a big stunt, you need
serious media coverage.
535
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,559
I'm talking TV, print,
that Internet crap. Everything.
536
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:31,639
Who's handling that?
537
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,671
I am. Jocelyn Davis,
Senior V.P. of Publicity.
538
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,026
Sure you're not
Senior V.P. of Twinkies?
539
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,191
Funny.
540
00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,879
I'll make sure the
shoot is well-covered.
541
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:50,629
Terrific! Okay, people, meeting's over.
What's next, Monty?
542
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:56,541
Cool.
543
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,063
12:30, stunt demonstration.
544
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,399
What do you think, Marty?
545
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,199
Perfect!
What'd you think, Dusty?
546
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,399
Loved it!
547
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,386
Actually, I think I liked it
better the first time I saw it,
548
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,749
in 1942, you dinosaur!
549
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,759
Vince, meet my new effects
whiz, Lester Golub.
550
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,279
A pleasure to meet...
551
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,039
Lester is going to design
the stunt on his iBook.
552
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,759
Your stunt guy will do whatever
the computer tells him.
553
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,799
I don't need a
computer to do my job.
554
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,279
Geek boy, ignore Father Time
over here and get working.
555
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,479
From the looks of you, I'm sure
you don't have a social life.
556
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,102
You two get together tomorrow
to finalize the details.
557
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,584
I'm off tomorrow. I'm
taking a personal day.
558
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,279
What was that? Personal day? What
are you talking about, Vince?
559
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,424
I'm taking my granddaughter
to a birthday party.
560
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,759
Oh...
561
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,391
May I?
Sure.
562
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,102
That's great.
Look at that.
563
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,639
The crazy hair. Man.
564
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,959
Oh, man. That's fun.
565
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,787
See, this is the movie business, grandpa!
The talkies, you know?
566
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,629
You can take your personal day in
a year or two, when you're dead!
567
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,945
Today we learned we're officially
dealing with the meanest man alive!
568
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,639
All right, colored dye.
569
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,999
Check.
570
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,199
MegaGlue.
571
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,025
Check.
572
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,265
Oh, my God.
573
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,111
Grandma Pearl.
574
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,119
Bret must be in a
living hell right now.
575
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,143
How many more, Kaylee?
576
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,664
Fifty. I gotta get ripped, baby!
577
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,239
Yeah. Yeah.
Feel the burn!
578
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,504
I'm the best, baby!
I'm the best!
579
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,505
You know, Grandma, you should think
about getting into shape yourself.
580
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,185
One more, Grandma!
One more!
581
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:06,188
It's all you! I ain't helping!
Last one! Yeah!
582
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,345
Hello.
Hi, Jas.
583
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,701
Hey, Dad.
584
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,999
Just called to see
how you were doing.
585
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,639
I'm doing good.
Staying out of trouble.
586
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:33,239
What's that noise?
587
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,623
I'm doing an experiment
for science class,
588
00:38:35,624 --> 00:38:38,199
it's this thing with
ball bearings and bells.
589
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,439
Sounds good.
590
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,559
I just called because you looked
pretty upset when we left.
591
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,544
Yeah, well, about that, Dad.
592
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,439
I totally get what you said
about the whole trust thing.
593
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,904
And when you get back, you'll see I've
been trying really hard to earn it.
594
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,279
Glad to hear it, pal.
595
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,503
Good night, Dad.
Good night.
596
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,599
Call forwarding, got to love it.
597
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,239
You really think this will work?
598
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:03,349
One day.
That's all it'll take.
599
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,742
Wolf won't know what hit him.
600
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,742
Jas? A little help here.
601
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,159
Will your parents call?
602
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,759
They're in the middle of a canyon.
There's no phones.
603
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,586
Thanks for coming out here with me.
604
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,943
I came for the adventure, remember?
605
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:23,741
Right.
606
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,583
Let's get some sleep.
Tomorrow we launch Phase Two.
607
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,866
Whoa!
608
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,787
It's showtime, Mr. Funnybones.
609
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,782
You cute little monkey, you.
610
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,791
Look out!
611
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,519
Cut it out, Marty!
Hey, that kills, Marty!
612
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:38,951
Hungry!
613
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,705
Mr. Earpiece, meet Miss MegaGlue.
614
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,221
Let's dance, Funnybones!
615
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,679
Oh, my God!
616
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
This is Monty.
617
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,319
Monty! Charisma from
Marcus Duncan's office.
618
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,319
I'm temping for
his second assistant.
619
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:57,719
I'm so psyched you're there, cookie.
I was watching Charmed last night,
620
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:01,359
and just as Alyssa Milano put a
spell on her cute demon boyfriend,
621
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:06,719
I had the biggest panic attack that I
forgot to give you Duncan's new address.
622
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,500
I didn't know he moved.
That was quick.
623
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,279
Yeah, in a big way. He
bought like the sickest pad
624
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,319
in the 90210.
We're talking mondo bucks.
625
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:21,359
Anyhoo, tell Mr. Wolf
that Duncan lives at
626
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,311
867 North Maple Drive.
627
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,504
All right.
Thanks. Got it.
628
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,261
What?
629
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,439
It's Monty. I'm glad I caught you.
Duncan moved.
630
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:39,719
Cancel the meeting. Get a makeup chick to
meet me at the office. It's an emergency.
631
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,670
No, you cannot cancel the meeting.
632
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:45,359
If he doesn't approve the new budget
we can't start shooting tomorrow.
633
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:51,039
I don't think you understand.
I'm blue.
634
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,503
Come on, now.
We all have our off days.
635
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,867
No, I mean I'm literally...
636
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,864
And I've got orange...
637
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,239
Come on, Wolf Man.
638
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:10,228
Forget it. Give me his address.
I'll figure something out.
639
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,079
867 North Maple.
640
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,541
Copy that.
641
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,079
You come up with
an ending for the script?
642
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,385
I'm working on it. I'm headed across
the lot now to do some research.
643
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,226
But I could use
a little help, Marty.
644
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,079
I'm writing and producing
a major motion picture.
645
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,879
I don't have time to work on
the script! That's your job.
646
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,799
Now stop wasting time
and get to work!
647
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,229
I'm 24 hours away from the most
important shoot of my career!
648
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,439
Get glasses, grandma!
649
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,230
Up yours, blue boy!
650
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,359
Yeah, I'm...
651
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:12,260
Uh-huh.
652
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:32,879
Got the alarm codes?
653
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,839
I'm all over it.
654
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,305
Sister, I invented the word "rough."
655
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,999
He'll be eating sugar cubes out of
my hand when I'm finished with him.
656
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,551
Right.
657
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,151
What the...
658
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,981
The clown!
659
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:59,999
Let's hurt him!
660
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,991
Excuse me...
661
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,359
I need backup!
662
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,039
Incoming!
663
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,741
I'm a very powerful
Hollywood producer!
664
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,504
What am I doing here?
665
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,982
Don't touch that.
Don't touch.
666
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,719
You kids are all gonna be
hearing from my lawyer!
667
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:29,199
Don't let him get away!
668
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:30,759
Get off of me!
669
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,904
You want to dance, kid?
Let's dance!
670
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,199
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?
671
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,185
You're going down, clown!
You're going down.
672
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,789
Bring it! I'm Marty Wolf!
Do you have any idea who I am?
673
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:47,705
Come on, four eyes!
674
00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:52,399
Hey!
675
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,479
Heads up, clown!
676
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,541
You're not even funny, clown!
677
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,919
Hello?
Where the hell did you send me?
678
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,799
Because it sure wasn't
Duncan's house!
679
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,399
How was I supposed to know?
680
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,750
Don't speak, just listen. You've got
to get me in there with Duncan!
681
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,599
I'll just reschedule
the meeting, Marty!
682
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:22,759
Jeez!
683
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,064
Okay, that's all you had to say.
684
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,025
Adiós, sugarpuff.
685
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,119
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
686
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,751
What the...
687
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,626
Stop!
688
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,464
Marty, I like your new coloring.
It works for you.
689
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,519
You did this?
690
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,639
Yes. And it can end anytime.
691
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,466
All you have to do is make
one phone call to my dad.
692
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:20,827
It shouldn't be much of a problem, since
that headset is superglued to your ear.
693
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,950
Here's my dad's number.
694
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,945
Hiya!
695
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,870
Call me.
Bye-bye.
696
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,719
Rotten kids!
697
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,984
Shepherd!
698
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,199
Oh, my God!
I'm going to kill you!
699
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:32,039
Take it easy, man. it wasn't my fault.
The old bag rear-ended me.
700
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,759
Eat my bloomers, blue boy!
701
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:38,239
Very nice. That's really charming,
from a woman of your advanced years.
702
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:39,871
Have a nice day!
703
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,861
It's just the tire.
You'll pay for this!
704
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,399
All right, listen, Masher,
705
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,159
I'm sure we can come
to some arrangement.
706
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,101
Yeah, that's what
I thought, tough guy!
707
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,710
Who's the tough guy now, pal?
708
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,390
Oh, no. Come on.
709
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,759
No, dude.
710
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,919
Back off, man!
No way!
711
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,424
Two meetings in a row, Monty.
712
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,759
This is not the way to get on
the new president's good side.
713
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:28,425
I'm sorry, sir.
714
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,745
I'm sure there must
be some explanation.
715
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,101
They told me to pick up
a little blue car.
716
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,106
They didn't say anything
about a little blue man.
717
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:50,479
You got the Wolf.
718
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,262
Where are you? I am at
Duncan's office right now!
719
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:55,781
I'm...
720
00:50:56,240 --> 00:51:00,479
I'm not going to make it. Tell him
it's your fault and reschedule.
721
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,799
I'm not going to lie to the new
president of the studio, Marty.
722
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,799
Don't get all high
and mighty on me.
723
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:10,999
Because if I go down, you're riding shotgun,
Tootsie Roll. Now make something up.
724
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,479
I'll smooth things over
with him at the premiere.
725
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,589
Fine.
Wolf out.
726
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,479
Hi, everybody. I'm Pat O'Brien
and welcome to Tinseltown.
727
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,919
Here we are again, this time at
728
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:27,839
the world premiere of Marty Wolf's
action-comedy, Whitaker and Fowl.
729
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,239
This must be a very
exciting evening for you.
730
00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:32,919
Yes. It's just good to
get the past behind me,
731
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,799
and finally be taken
seriously as an actor.
732
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,359
Can I give a shout-out?
733
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,230
Oh, God, it's the chicken!
734
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,119
It looks like all of Hollywood
has turned out for this one.
735
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,629
But the question is,
where is Marty Wolf?
736
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,879
Sweet Moses, what is that?
737
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:01,439
Don't look in his eyes.
738
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,871
Hey there, Marty.
739
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,023
Ready to end this?
740
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:19,039
Kid, you have no idea
who you are dealing with.
741
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,399
You think I care about
a couple of little pranks?
742
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,679
Nah.
743
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,310
See you around, Shep.
744
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:38,999
Hello.
745
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,639
This is J-Dog calling K-Bird.
746
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:41,919
J-Dog calling K-Bird.
747
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,399
Jas, is that you?
748
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:48,388
I'm using code names. Wolf didn't throw in
the towel. We're moving to Phase Three.
749
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,020
What's Phase Three?
750
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,519
We're going to our first
Hollywood soirée.
751
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:59,559
I don't know what you think, but all
of a sudden, it's like bam! Bad movie!
752
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,319
Can you say boring?
753
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:06,279
I mean, when you did Saved by the Bell?
Quality. Okay? Substance.
754
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:07,959
Worst film in the world.
755
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,439
Whoa!
756
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,519
There he is!
El presidente!
757
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,639
And his wife,
the very lovely Shaniqua.
758
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:23,919
It's Shandra.
759
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:27,799
Great to see you. I think they
loved it! Don't you?
760
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,946
I think that sad excuse for a movie
just lost the studio $30 million.
761
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,661
I'm pulling the plug on Big Fat Liar.
What?
762
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:35,839
It's over, Wolf.
763
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,790
Just hear me out!
764
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,943
The truth is...
765
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,183
Would you excuse us
please, Shananny?
766
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,784
The truth is
767
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:51,664
I missed those meetings because I had
an incredible breakthrough on BFL,
768
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,639
which I was working on all day.
769
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,799
I wanted to wait until we were
in front of the entire industry
770
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,625
to make my presentation.
771
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,639
One chance is all I'm giving you.
772
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,159
That's all I need.
773
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:12,466
Strap on your seat belt, Dr. Duncanstein,
because you are about to be blown away.
774
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,231
Monty!
775
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,590
Sorry. Marty!
776
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:24,159
What's going on? What is this big
presentation you're giving about the movie?
777
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,667
I have no idea!
778
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,159
None!
779
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,621
None.
780
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,231
I can help you.
781
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,820
Why do you keep showing
up in my life?
782
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,503
Sounds like you need to come up
with a big idea for Big Fat Liar.
783
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,799
What, some 10-year-old kid
784
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,831
is going to tell me how
to fix my entire movie?
785
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:51,345
First of all, I'm 14. Second
of all, I created the story.
786
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,825
You think I can't at least come
up with a few good twists?
787
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:58,159
No...
788
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:03,307
You mean that this kid really
did write Big Fat Liar?
789
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,399
No. He wrote a little English paper
790
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,919
with the same title.
Big deal.
791
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:16,879
Don't do it, Jason.
792
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:20,079
Kid, I swear to you,
793
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,239
you get me out of this mess,
794
00:55:22,240 --> 00:55:25,839
and I'll tell your dad
you wrote Big Fat Liar,
795
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:29,781
Erin Brockovich and
Saving Private Ryan, too.
796
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,906
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
797
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:47,159
if I could have your attention
for just a moment, please.
798
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,359
You're all probably wondering
why I'm blue and orange.
799
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,599
No, just go with me for a second.
800
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,426
You see, Big Fat Liar,
801
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,424
BFL, "Biffle," as it
has come to be known,
802
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,959
is full of action,
romance, effects,
803
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:07,584
you bet. But what it lacks
right now is a message.
804
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,959
Trooper's girlfriend
makes a new potion.
805
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:14,504
Which is supposed to make him shrink, but
instead it causes him to change color.
806
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:16,261
Why?
807
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:17,945
Because now the twist is,
808
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,119
he can't lie about
his feelings anymore.
809
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,199
You see, his girlfriend, Penny,
she makes Trooper an antidote,
810
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:28,479
which, instead of curing him,
causes him to change colors.
811
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:30,559
When he's bummed out,
he turns blue.
812
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,399
When he's depressed, he turns blue.
813
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,799
When he's mad, his hair turns red.
814
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,262
When he's angry, boom,
815
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,799
his curly locks turn the color
of a flaming brushfire.
816
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,999
But when he discovers
the ultimate truth,
817
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,559
that he's in love with Penny,
818
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,703
the softest shade of pink
819
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,439
finds its way across his visage.
820
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,469
I didn't tell him that.
821
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,159
What are you doing?
You're not listening to me.
822
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,439
Just stick to the plan...
823
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:06,464
I'm sorry. The emotions in this
movie are just so painful.
824
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,119
They're painful because
825
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:14,266
they hit home right here,
in the old corazón.
826
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,799
Who among us hasn't told
a little white lie?
827
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,387
I have.
Anybody else? You?
828
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:21,861
Guilty.
You?
829
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,999
It's all right, don't be ashamed.
I am right there with you.
830
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,667
I am right there with you.
831
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:32,980
Because our picture looks the
audience right in the eye,
832
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,304
and says, "Enough is enough!"
833
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,759
The lying has got to stop!
834
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:43,999
The truth and the truth alone
shall set ye free! Friends!
835
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,039
God bless all of you!
God bless America!
836
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:52,119
And God bless Big Fat Liar!
837
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,431
Very impressive, Marty.
838
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,039
Does this mean that you
will approve the budget?
839
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,159
You start shooting tomorrow.
That's great.
840
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,759
But if anything, and I
mean anything, goes wrong,
841
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,984
your movie, your deal
at the studio,
842
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,542
and your career is over.
You hear me?
843
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:16,559
Okay.
844
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,639
Shepherd, you are a genius, buddy.
845
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,079
Ready to make that call?
846
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:27,999
Time to let my fingers
do the walking.
847
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,029
Here's my dad's phone number.
848
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,191
Daddy.
849
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,060
Hello, this is Marty Wolf.
850
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:45,585
I'm standing here in my
kitchen with Jason Shepherd.
851
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:48,783
I'm looking at him as we speak.
852
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,430
And you better bring backup.
853
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,639
Weren't you on the phone
with my dad?
854
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,839
I was on the phone, but it
ain't with your old man.
855
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,319
You're a real piece of work.
Who are you?
856
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,839
Rocco Malone, head of
security at Wolf Pictures.
857
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,302
Thanks for all your help, kid.
858
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,829
Saving my butt twice in one year.
Who would have thunk it?
859
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,479
Let's go.
You, too, Punky Brewster.
860
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,319
You can't do this!
We have a witness!
861
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:21,625
First lesson in Hollywood, sweetheart:
Always get it in writing!
862
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,505
What a day.
863
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:36,951
Here's the deal.
864
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:41,189
The two of you are going to
get on a plane, go back home,
865
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:45,148
and forget this ever happened.
Clear?
866
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,986
Good. Let's go get
you two guys packed up.
867
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,827
I can't believe we're
just going to give up.
868
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:01,381
You're Jason Shepherd.
You can get out of anything.
869
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:06,182
Come on. You must have a
Phase Four up your sleeve.
870
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,981
Yeah, I guess I do.
871
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,039
Hello?
Dad, it's Jason.
872
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,671
I haven't...
873
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,191
I haven't been totally honest about what
I've been up to the last couple days.
874
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,982
And I think it's time
I told you the truth.
875
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:43,745
The truth?
876
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,381
Hey, Rocco.
877
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:53,959
Hey.
878
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:57,959
Why don't you head home?
I'll take the kids to the airport.
879
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:59,279
You sure?
880
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:03,585
I'll be up all night rewriting Wolf's
script anyway, so it's no problem.
881
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:08,066
All right, then. I'm getting too
old for this babysitting anyway.
882
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,599
Take it easy.
Good night.
883
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,061
Good night.
884
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:17,542
The worst part of this whole thing is, Wolf
is just going to keep getting away with it.
885
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:21,119
He treats people like dirt
and no one stands up to him!
886
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,279
Forget it, Kaylee.
887
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,759
I can't forget it!
It makes me sick
888
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,439
your parents will never
know you wrote that story!
889
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:31,745
What can we do? My parents will be here
in the morning! We tried everything!
890
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,799
It'd take an army to get
Wolf to admit the truth!
891
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,070
I think I know where
we can find our troops.
892
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,799
What are you doing here?
893
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:45,582
I've been pushed around
by Wolf for too long.
894
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,904
Tomorrow, his whole
career is on the line.
895
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:53,306
So are you guys up
for one last fight?
896
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:55,821
Jas?
897
01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,784
It's payback time.
898
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,799
You gots to look good for
the first day of shooting.
899
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,944
Do you copy that, Mr. Funnybones?
900
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,159
That's a big 10-4, Marty.
901
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,519
I've brought you all here
tonight for two reasons.
902
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,479
A: You're all the best
in your given fields.
903
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,784
And B: You all despise this man.
904
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,679
A lot.
905
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,780
Gang, let's roll up our
sleeves and get to work.
906
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,783
Let's begin.
Assignments.
907
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,839
Red team, you stall him until
my parents get to the set.
908
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,719
That's it. One more!
That's it!
909
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:47,502
Blue team, I need your help in
the distract and delay tactics.
910
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:50,359
Gold team, you are responsible
for mental warfare.
911
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,999
To get what we need, we are talking
912
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:56,399
complete physical and
psycho-emotional breakdown, people!
913
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,343
I want to see a broken man.
914
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:04,868
I'm talking broken like, "I threw
a baseball through your window."
915
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,199
Snap him like a twig.
916
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,319
Squeeze him like a bug!
917
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:13,599
I want you to turn him into mincemeat!
And I don't even know what mincemeat is!
918
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,879
I want him to scream for his mommy.
919
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,559
"Mommy! Mommy!"
You hear me, people?
920
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,305
Do you read me?
921
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,182
I think they read you.
922
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,226
Fair enough.
923
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:27,599
Guys?
924
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,584
I just got one thing to say.
925
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:34,585
It's showtime.
It's showtime.
926
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,382
You from the studio?
Yes, sir.
927
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:44,559
Don't I know you?
Yeah, you do.
928
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:48,079
Frank Jackson. I was your driver
last year till you fired me.
929
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:50,064
Fabulous!
930
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,919
The acting career must really be
taking off. Bravo, Brando.
931
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,320
Get moving.
I don't want to be late.
932
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,384
Monty, it's me.
933
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,985
Hey, Marty. You get some
rest for the big day?
934
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:06,599
Are you kidding me? I spent half the night
with a scrub brush and a can of turpentine.
935
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:10,063
But, bye-bye, Little Boy Blue!
I am back!
936
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,279
Hey!
937
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:14,679
Pedal to the metal, Ricky Retardo!
I got a movie to shoot!
938
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,903
Sorry, sir. There seems to be
something wrong with the car.
939
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:29,431
I'll fix it.
940
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,421
Hot smoke.
Very hot smoke.
941
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:39,279
What the hell is happening here?
942
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,519
Stay right there.
943
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:44,461
No, Mr. Wolf, don't come up here.
We have a situation.
944
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:49,799
The carbide lateral valve is connected
to the defibrillator and it's acting up.
945
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,799
The point is,
it could blow anytime.
946
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:53,719
You might want to back up.
Back up.
947
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,624
What are you saying?
948
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,799
The engine's fried.
I need a backup car.
949
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:02,159
Are you kidding me? My movie
starts shooting in an hour!
950
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:06,159
Mr. Wolf, please, I would very much
appreciate it if you didn't yell at me, okay?
951
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:07,319
Mmm-mmm.
952
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,319
I want to do right.
Don't.
953
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:13,147
Don't touch, dude!
Do not touch!
954
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,791
Don't.
955
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:16,981
Hey!
956
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:18,999
Everything okay here?
957
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,679
Urkel. Jaleel.
Oh, my God. My man.
958
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,319
You got to get me
out of here, buddy.
959
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:26,985
Hop in.
960
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,999
No! Mr. Wolf, please.
Mr. Wolf, no.
961
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,906
Could you unlock it?
962
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,667
No! Mr. Wolf, please!
Drive.
963
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,311
Sayonara, loser!
964
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:49,759
F-Man to J-Dog. The
baton has been passed.
965
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,824
Roger that, F-Man.
Well done.
966
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:57,186
Who's a bad actor now, Mr. Wolf?
Those were real tears!
967
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,429
K-Bird, the baton has been passed.
968
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:01,985
Got it!
969
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,799
Nice car!
970
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:13,503
TV money! I didn't wear those glasses and
suspenders all those years for free!
971
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,719
That's a relief. Do you
know where you're going?
972
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,039
I'm taking a shortcut.
973
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:23,629
Put your seat back and relax, old man.
You're in Jaleel's hands now.
974
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:25,381
Okay.
975
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:28,559
You're going to fishtail!
976
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,039
That was close.
977
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:39,385
Yeah, baby!
978
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,479
Where in the hell
are you taking me?
979
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:44,039
I told you.
I know a shortcut.
980
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:45,519
Through the desert?
981
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,919
Slow down, you maniac!
I'm getting out!
982
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:49,159
It's your call.
983
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:50,839
I'll do it.
Do what you got to do!
984
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:51,919
I'm getting out!
985
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:53,301
Go!
986
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,585
Not bad.
987
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:03,229
Yo, Jaleel at the wheel.
988
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,199
The condor has flown the coop.
989
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:08,439
Roger, J-Dub. Wait.
What does that mean?
990
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:12,599
It means I'm leaving Wolf in the
middle of the desert. Urkel is out.
991
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:54,479
Hello?
992
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,748
Monty, it's me.
993
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,820
Hey, Marty.
Is everything okay?
994
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,622
No, no, everything is fine.
Except...
995
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,791
Yeah, I'm stuck in the
middle of the desert!
996
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:08,999
Do you hear what
I am saying to you?
997
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:10,079
The what?
998
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,620
The desert.
999
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:14,301
Get me out of here.
How?
1000
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:18,301
I don't care how, Monty!
Just do it!
1001
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,502
Ready to go wolf hunting?
1002
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,919
I borrowed the chopper from
the shoot. You're in good hands.
1003
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,559
I flew 49 combat
missions in Vietnam.
1004
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:21,069
Save me the sob story, Methuselah!
1005
01:09:21,080 --> 01:09:23,399
I already sat through Platoon!
1006
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,067
Just get me to the set.
1007
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,559
This is Father Time.
We're headed your way.
1008
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,021
Roger, F.T.
1009
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:45,382
They're airborne.
Copy that.
1010
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:51,439
Let's punch a hole in the
sky, grandpa! Go! Go! Go!
1011
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:56,079
Let's get a tail wind behind
this bird, old-timer!
1012
01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,348
Go, go, go!
1013
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:07,026
Brando to Base. The sheep has located
the Shepherds and we're coming home.
1014
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:08,661
Yes!
1015
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:23,625
Oh, boy.
1016
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:26,626
What's that?
What's happening?
1017
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:32,787
One of our blades is jammed! We're
going to have to do a forced evac!
1018
01:10:33,480 --> 01:10:35,623
What are you talking about?
1019
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,144
We got to jump!
This bird is going down!
1020
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:43,021
Vince.
1021
01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:47,781
Vince?
1022
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:51,839
Are you kidding me?
1023
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:53,630
No, but I wish I was.
1024
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:56,679
You'll have to hold on tight.
We've only got one chute.
1025
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:58,823
I hope it supports us both.
1026
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,559
Wait a minute.
This is insanity!
1027
01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:06,119
Vince, have you done this before?
1028
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:08,759
Don't worry, Wolf,
I'm a professional.
1029
01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:12,746
Granddad's been doing
this a long, long time.
1030
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,381
This is Chopper One to Control.
1031
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:31,181
Papa Bear and the Wolf
have left the building.
1032
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:39,745
Not like this!
1033
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,839
Sweet God, not like this!
1034
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:58,346
Hello, sir.
1035
01:11:58,440 --> 01:11:59,980
Where's Wolf?
1036
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:01,821
Late.
1037
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:03,627
Bad.
1038
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:32,839
Hello?
1039
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:36,144
I'm on the lot, Monty!
I'll be there in a minute!
1040
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:37,439
Marty.
1041
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:41,519
I'm not lying. Stall Duncan
another second, okay? I'm coming.
1042
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:42,639
Hey, Wolf.
1043
01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:44,544
How's it hanging, Shepherd?
1044
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:11,389
Give me back my monkey.
1045
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:13,060
Come get him.
1046
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,107
You two, good-bye!
1047
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:31,879
I'm coming, Funnybones!
1048
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:44,919
Coming through!
1049
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:47,501
Move it!
1050
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:01,465
Look out!
1051
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,631
Come on!
1052
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:11,621
Right behind you, Shepherd!
1053
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:29,159
You can't outrun the Wolf, kid!
1054
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,144
We'll see about that.
1055
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,759
Hang on, Funnybones!
Daddy's coming!
1056
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:37,903
He's all yours, Lester.
1057
01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:42,310
Activate water.
1058
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:56,703
Who's the geek boy now, you spaz?
1059
01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:07,865
This is it, Monty. If he's not here
in 60 seconds, this movie is over.
1060
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:10,706
Right there is where the
big stunt is taking place.
1061
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,825
This way.
1062
01:15:29,440 --> 01:15:32,266
Help.
Come and rescue me, Marty.
1063
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:38,063
Feets, don't fail me now.
1064
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:18,039
Let go of the monkey.
1065
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,159
Call my dad.
1066
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:20,985
Never.
Yes.
1067
01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:23,105
No!
1068
01:16:23,960 --> 01:16:28,743
That's it, kid.
It's over! You lose and I win!
1069
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,199
I don't think so, Wolf.
1070
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:32,264
You don't think so?
1071
01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:35,424
Come on, Jason.
You're smarter than that.
1072
01:16:35,480 --> 01:16:37,799
You write a story, I steal it,
1073
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:41,559
and I'm about to shoot the
greatest movie of my career.
1074
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:43,799
So, you admit you stole my story?
1075
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:46,479
We've been over this.
It's ancient history.
1076
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:48,279
Yeah, I stole your story!
1077
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:50,079
Whoop-dee-doodle-doo!
1078
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:51,639
You happy now?
1079
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:56,787
I stole Jason Shepherd's paper
and turned it into Big Fat Liar!
1080
01:16:56,960 --> 01:17:00,264
You know who's listening, pal?
No one.
1081
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,199
And they never will.
1082
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:07,279
So, for the last time, give it up.
Because I will never, ever, ever,
1083
01:17:07,280 --> 01:17:10,424
like, never, ever, ever, ever,
1084
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,591
ever infinity tell the truth.
1085
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,519
Because the truth
is overrated, right?
1086
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:20,061
- That's right!
- And cut.
1087
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:42,719
I told you, Wolf.
The only way to shoot this scene
1088
01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:46,919
is from 12 different camera
angles, with birds flying around.
1089
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:50,039
By the by,
1090
01:17:50,040 --> 01:17:52,866
Confucius say, "Kastang!
1091
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,670
"You're busted!"
1092
01:17:57,720 --> 01:17:59,260
Rock and roll, baby.
1093
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:12,501
It's just like you wanted, Wolf!
1094
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:15,864
The press is all here!
1095
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:46,667
You stole the idea for this
movie from a 13-year-old boy?
1096
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:48,744
Well, he's...
1097
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,070
He's 14.
1098
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:55,902
This is the end of the line, Wolf.
It's over.
1099
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:10,580
Wolf, I want to say thanks.
1100
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,102
You taught me a valuable lesson.
1101
01:19:13,440 --> 01:19:15,105
The truth?
1102
01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,104
It's not overrated.
1103
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:27,629
I am going to get you, Shepherd!
1104
01:19:59,160 --> 01:20:01,679
You did all this just to
prove you weren't lying?
1105
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:04,142
I wanted to earn
your trust back, Dad.
1106
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:07,905
You've earned it, buddy.
You've earned it.
1107
01:20:20,040 --> 01:20:22,039
We've got a movie to shoot!
1108
01:20:22,040 --> 01:20:24,661
Come on!
Let's make some magic.
1109
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:27,599
The human hit factory
is ready to roll!
1110
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,025
Let's go.
1111
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:33,742
Where do you think you're going?
1112
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:37,663
You cannot turn your backs on me!
1113
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:39,510
I'm Marty Wolf!
1114
01:20:39,880 --> 01:20:42,342
All right, fine! Fine!
1115
01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:44,719
You're all fired!
1116
01:20:44,720 --> 01:20:46,704
You suck, Marty.
1117
01:21:12,280 --> 01:21:16,107
You certainly know
how to make an entrance.
1118
01:21:16,280 --> 01:21:18,105
What can I say?
1119
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:19,639
I got big feet.
1120
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:26,424
You were right, Penny. The truth?
It's not overrated.
1121
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,907
Congratulations.
It was incredible.
1122
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:27,503
It's showtime.
1123
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:34,119
Hey, kids.
I'm Wolfie the Clown.
1124
01:22:35,720 --> 01:22:40,025
And I'm Mr. Funnybones!
Happy birthday, Darren.
1125
01:22:40,920 --> 01:22:42,959
Oh, my God!
1126
01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:44,359
Oh, no.
1127
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:46,199
Yo, Little Mash,
show him your nutcracker.
1127
01:22:47,305 --> 01:22:53,367
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