1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,364
Sweetheart.
3
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,407
Go over to the window right now
4
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,962
and open it as wide as you can.
5
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,004
Please let me sleep.
6
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,767
I think your mother's here from Mexico,
7
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and she needs to leave.
8
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,684
Open the window now.
9
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,446
Why don't you open it, you lazy...
10
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,931
Somebody help!
11
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,650
Close your mouth!
12
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,607
No way. Can I ride him?
13
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,444
A deer!
14
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,522
Okay.
15
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:44,043
Daddy, I left the front door open
in case any animals wanted to come in.
16
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,485
- You did, huh?
- And one did.
17
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,329
- Yeah.
- Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
18
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,210
No, you did a nice thing, sweetheart.
19
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,009
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
20
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,004
- Daddy, no!
- No, no, I'm not going to hit the deer.
21
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,970
I'm just going to massage his head
for a little bit with it.
22
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,122
Okay, come on, come on.
23
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,245
He's right here.
24
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,163
He's eating Bowser's food.
25
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,885
Okay, he knows we're here now.
26
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,122
Stay. Stay.
27
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,369
What's he looking at?
28
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,888
Move your doll towards me.
29
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,121
And back to you.
30
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,929
Towards me.
31
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,809
Back to you.
32
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,166
Three times, fast.
33
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,810
Give me that thing.
34
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,565
- Mr. Gigglesworth?
- No, don't worry. Give it to me.
35
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,688
- Go on. It's okay. It's okay.
- Put it in my hand.
36
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,171
Roxanne, take them in there.
37
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,009
Over there.
38
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,163
Hey, dude. You like this guy?
39
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,960
You want to play with him?
40
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,883
All right, let's go play in the other room.
41
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,810
Come on. Come on, man.
42
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,411
Slowly walk with me.
43
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,084
I said slowly.
44
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,161
No.
45
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,007
Get out of the way!
46
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,768
Oh, my God!
47
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,003
Problem solved.
48
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,321
Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!
49
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,369
A new problem begins.
50
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,205
I'm sorry.
51
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,170
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
52
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,244
Easy.
53
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,606
It is nice.
54
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,284
- Thank you, all right.
- Cool, yeah.
55
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,600
Yeah, come on.
56
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,002
28?
57
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,442
Yes.
58
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,443
35.
59
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,968
That's right again, smarty-pants.
60
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,281
Hi, Dad.
61
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,125
- Hey, Bean, working on the math, huh?
- Yep.
62
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,283
Mommy said
if I get all my math questions right,
63
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,847
I get to ride my bike to school
with Becky Feder.
64
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,124
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
65
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,725
Seventy-nine.
66
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,890
Is he a little boy or a computer?
'Cause I can't figure it out.
67
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,641
Don't destroy his confidence.
68
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,324
Happy summer, everybody.
69
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,525
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
70
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,329
I know you bedazzled them yourself.
71
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,243
I'm just wondering if they'll attract
72
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,324
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
73
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,164
It's the last day of school,
74
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,924
and Mom says I'm free to express myself.
75
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,482
Building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
76
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,607
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
77
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:36,681
Confidence.
78
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,205
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
79
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,089
That's for sure.
80
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,686
Looks like a horse
took a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
81
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,047
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
82
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,602
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo grenade
go off in your diaper?
83
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,524
- You gonna change it?
- That's not my son, that's your son.
84
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,490
Yesterday was my diaper day.
85
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,451
Today he is all yours,
and it's gonna get nasty.
86
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,289
Go, Ronnie.
87
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,203
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
88
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,520
He looks like Nicki Minaj
89
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,080
trying to shake her butt implants
back into place.
90
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,731
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Come on, Ronnie.
91
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,040
Go, Ronnie.
92
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,724
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
93
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,404
Nah, just one repairjob.
94
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,806
Very special.
95
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,564
All right, I'm going in.
96
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,562
What is...
97
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,970
What is this?
98
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,604
A necklace?
99
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,247
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
100
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,368
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
101
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,328
Yeah.
102
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,488
Mom didn't.
103
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,086
That's cold.
104
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,608
I think I'm gonna bust out of here.
105
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,609
So he gets off the train and nobody's there?
106
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,768
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
107
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:56,242
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
108
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,651
Well, not to be mean,
109
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,371
but I'm not even 1,000% sure who you are.
110
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,769
I was up from Florida.
111
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:07,084
Right in the middle of making out,
I got a really bad case of the hiccups.
112
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,162
Hiccups McGee?
113
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:13,683
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
114
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,489
And no offense, but I'm gonna have to ask
115
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,766
for a DNA test, you know,
116
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,366
because you just never...
117
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No need.
118
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,890
Later, Hiccups.
119
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,365
You're him.
120
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,489
Yeah, without the hat.
121
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,767
It's actually a good likeness.
122
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,207
How you doing, man?
123
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,566
I'm your dad.
124
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,411
Nice to see you, Braden.
125
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,404
That's strike one.
126
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,130
Good news is, you get...
127
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,009
Unlimited amount of strikes.
128
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,204
How about I take you to school?
129
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,443
No school.
130
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,170
Summertime.
131
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,925
Not yet. One more day. I know, it's a drag.
132
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,571
Normally I'd let you just blow it off
and play hooky,
133
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,927
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
134
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,570
so when I'm done,
135
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,921
I'll come pick you up and we'll hang out.
136
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,445
I got you this, but...
137
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,723
Obviously you're, like, 13, so I don't know,
138
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,245
but it's actually pretty nice
139
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,687
and cute,
and you should cut the head off it, okay.
140
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,166
Well, let's get going.
141
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,410
-Yo, yo, yo, yo, don't forget this.
-ls it a gift?
142
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,687
No, it's the Gigglesworth massacre.
143
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,922
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
144
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,206
What?
145
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,203
Martha Stewart couldn't fix this.
146
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,406
Come on.
147
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,371
But you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
148
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,090
That's why I've been thinking,
149
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,730
we moved back here to your hometown
150
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,411
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
151
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,606
That's right.
152
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,720
How would you feel about expanding?
153
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,962
-Having another kid?
-Yeah.
154
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,727
But it's perfect right now, you know?
155
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,246
If I buy one large pizza, Greg gets two pieces,
156
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,971
Keith gets two, Becky gets one,
you get one, I get four.
157
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,280
It's kind of perfect, you know.
158
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,890
I don't want to have to buy another pie.
159
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,567
Why don't you go on a diet, fat gordo éste?
160
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,489
Come on, I've had a job since I'm 16.
161
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,483
It's the first time I've got a free schedule.
162
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,085
I'm just enjoying the fun.
163
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,766
Don't forget Becky's ballet recital at 11:00.
164
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,724
I got to go to that?
165
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,007
I mean, I get to go to that? Great.
166
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,841
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
167
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,004
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
168
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,366
I love you all!
169
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,885
-Bye, Mom, bye.
-Bye, Mom.
170
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,291
Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
171
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,128
Last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle.
172
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,248
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
173
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,800
ls that why you've been taking
them long showers?
174
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,450
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
175
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,091
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
176
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,400
That's not what the deer told me.
177
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,686
That deer's a liar.
178
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,123
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
179
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,571
What? Where'd you hear that?
180
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,927
-Higgins.
-I should kill him.
181
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,602
He's too chicken to ask her out, Dad,
'cause she's the hottest girl in school,
182
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,761
and Greg is fugly.
183
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,286
So what he's fugly?
All the guys in our family are fugly.
184
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,249
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
185
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,290
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
186
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,964
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
187
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,769
Every guy in school likes her, Dad.
188
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,086
And you'll be the guy who ends up with her.
189
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,925
You know why?
You're gonna follow my three-step program.
190
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,446
Number one, make the girl smile.
191
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,801
Number two, tell her she has a nice smile.
192
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,282
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
193
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,327
Why that night?
194
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,727
'Cause it gives her less time
to think about how fugly you are.
195
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,966
'Cause you are fugly.
196
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,769
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
197
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,128
And Keithie's right...
I'm too chicken to even talk to her.
198
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,164
Hey, you're a Feder.
Feders ain't afraid of women, buddy.
199
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,924
That's not the way I'm raising you.
200
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,162
By the way, Dad, did you
ask Mom if I can play football?
201
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,605
No, I was scared.
202
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,729
I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me
in that accent that no one understands.
203
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,723
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
204
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,365
School starts at 8:15.
205
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,569
That means we only have 25 minutes.
206
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,806
Daddy, you promise
Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bedtime?
207
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,486
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
208
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,329
-Have the best last day, okay?
-Okay.
209
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,561
'Bye,guys.
-Bye, Daddy.
210
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,847
-Love you.
-And you read the street signs, okay?
211
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,081
Don't let Bean.
212
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,204
My God, riding their bikes to school.
213
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,891
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
214
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,770
Yeah, 'cause thank God
there's no crazy people out here.
215
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,520
How you doing, Nick?
216
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:33,048
My wife's leaving me after three weeks.
217
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,521
Three weeks? That's not bad for you.
218
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,045
What happened?
219
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,488
She found me eating a banana with my butt.
220
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,404
And she didn't like that?
221
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,562
Yeah, she got really bummed out,
222
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,729
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
223
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,202
Yeah, you... You seem like you're
a little extra out of it today.
224
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,361
What's going on?
225
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,811
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
226
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,884
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
227
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,770
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
228
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,841
But I don't feel better!
229
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,570
You feel worse!
230
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,162
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
231
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,324
Finally got yourself a job.
232
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,687
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io lglesias back there.
233
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,889
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
234
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,202
Thank you, Lenny.
235
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,091
Lenny remembered. Isn't that sweet?
236
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,766
-And I never got him pregnant.
-She forgot?
237
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,247
-Yeah, she forgot.
-No.
238
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,641
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card
in the world.
239
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,210
I want one of those.
240
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,810
You ain't never get one like this. Hey, honey,
241
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,087
I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny.
242
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,562
Don't worry about forgetting the 20th.
I'm sure you'll remember the 30th.
243
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,808
I love you.
244
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,611
Thank you, Lenny.
245
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,651
That's not another necklace in there, is it?
246
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,680
I'm gonna abuse this get-out-of-jail-free card,
247
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,125
I'm telling you right now.
248
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,046
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good rug
without taking off my boots.
249
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,442
Or have a nice non-diet soda with my dinner.
250
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,410
Notjust one, either, a whole damn pitcher.
251
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,403
-So you're going full gangsta.
-Yeah.
252
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,130
But you know what I'd really like to do?
253
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,645
Throw a "first night of summer" party.
254
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,131
-Yeah.
-You know, something a little crazy.
255
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,244
Well, it's been many, many years
since we've done something crazy.
256
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,685
Just one problem, though.
257
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,410
My house isn't big enough.
258
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,084
But yours is.
259
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,731
Last party I had
was senior year in high school.
260
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,723
Yeah, that was, like, the best night of my life.
261
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:38,801
We all hooked up with chicks.
262
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,649
Come on, why not do that again?
263
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,442
Because we already have chicks and kids
and high cholesterol now, sojust...
264
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,568
It's time to move on.
You want to come over tonight with Dee,
265
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,841
that's fine... I think.
266
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,160
I got to ask my wife first.
267
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,163
Okay, gangsta.
268
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:57,007
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
269
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,161
I made them.
270
00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,685
You made them?
271
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,285
In a toilet?
272
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,683
That kid's like White Precious.
273
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,047
Get lost, Duffy.
274
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,485
Yeah, leave her alone.
275
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,528
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
276
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,206
-You got something to say to me?
-Nothing, nothing, nothing.
277
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,443
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
278
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,851
Yes, you in the camouflage jacket
279
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,610
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
280
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,081
Yeah, just pop a squat, thank you.
281
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,528
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
282
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,601
Leave me alone.
283
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,728
Beanbag with arms and legs,
284
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,086
seriously, take a seat,
285
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,083
or seats, before someone gets hurt.
286
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,163
You're dead, man.
287
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,763
I'm gonna go get some things done,
288
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,684
and then I'm gonna go
to my daughter's ballet recital,
289
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,728
so you're on your own until lunchtime.
290
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,962
No worries. No one will come in anyway.
291
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,882
Right.
292
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,447
Does Leonard ever talk about me?
293
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,931
Leonard?
294
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,001
Your husband.
295
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,650
Lenny.
296
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,008
I probably should have told you this
before I started working here,
297
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,084
but he used to be my boyfriend.
298
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,802
When did you guys go out?
299
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:19,961
Sixth grade.
300
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,607
This one time,
301
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
302
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,604
I brought in a note
303
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,129
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
304
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,044
I just felt weird having a secret with you.
305
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,284
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
306
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,486
That's what I wrote.
307
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,289
"Barrette."
308
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,249
And that was his response.
309
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,688
Does it bother you that I still wear it?
310
00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,321
No, no, no, I think it's sweet.
311
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,882
I think he still has feelings for me.
312
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,884
I'm gonna go work out now.
313
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,486
Do you really think that a tight, toned body
314
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,801
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
315
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:15,009
I hope so. Bye.
316
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,487
You just messed with the wrong girl, chica!
317
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,487
They spray-painted my baby.
318
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,164
Gee, and everything's spelled right.
319
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,969
These can't be my students.
320
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,766
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
321
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,491
Hey, guys, can you believe this?
322
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,403
Calendar turns to June,
323
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,926
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
324
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,604
Maybe they're just mad that you keep going
325
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,170
to the babyGap to buy your clothes.
326
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,163
Hey, Principal Tardio, good morning.
327
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,004
Right to class, right to class.
328
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,845
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
329
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,408
These can't be my students.
330
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,209
-And a half a shirt, right?
-What?
331
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,123
-I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
-Okay.
332
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,568
- Here he goes.
-I'm excited about the summer, too.
333
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,722
Hey, that's my laptop! That's not waterproof!
334
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,531
-Monkey boy, monkey boy.
-Summer!
335
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,602
-Monkey boy.
-Summer!
336
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,445
Summer! Summer!
337
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,603
So, what do you think?
338
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,290
Do I take you straight to work?
339
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:22,048
I got one appointment I got to get to
sometime between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
340
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,201
-Okay.
-But she can wait.
341
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,442
Good. And look at this.
342
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,284
He's back at it again.
343
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,811
Why isn't he at work?
344
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:34,011
He's just... This woman has a grip on him.
It's ridiculous. It's gonna ruin his marriage.
345
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,769
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
346
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,844
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
347
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,442
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
348
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,806
We sure do.
349
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,050
-Okay.
-Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
350
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,121
good to see you.
351
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,407
Nice school bus, Lenny.
352
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,164
Thank you. Have a great day.
353
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,049
Did Mommy make the boo-boo go away?
354
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,849
Don't tell the wife.
355
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,046
What are you guys doing?
356
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,849
Get in.
357
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,962
Oh, hey, Nick.
358
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,121
Nice. Nice.
359
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,565
Let's hit it.
360
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,483
Watch this.
361
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,447
-Wow.
-You got to respect that.
362
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,521
That was awesome.
363
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,848
What's Lenny's problem?
They're so cute when they're little.
364
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,128
I know. I miss it.
365
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
366
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,044
You miss that? Really?
367
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,562
Stay. Stay.
368
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,926
Don't you growl at me.
369
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,081
Stay, baby, Stay-
370
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,286
Excuse me.
371
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,442
ls your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
372
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,965
That's not my kid.
373
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,850
That's my lover, and he's very gentle.
374
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,602
Kids don't belong in here.
375
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,364
That leash better not trip me up.
376
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,925
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
377
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,083
It's your big-ass, hairy man feet
that are gonna trip you up.
378
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,729
She was just joking around, sir.
379
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,484
Cool it. You're gonna get us killed.
380
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,086
I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day.
381
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,407
Welcome to Squat Fitness, ladies.
382
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,644
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
383
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,484
I'm sorry. It's only five till...
384
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead you
in some warm-up exercises.
385
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,649
So, everybody, up on your feet,
386
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,291
and let's take a deep breath.
387
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,646
Good.
388
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,967
Deeper... Really stretch out those lungs.
389
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,201
And now let's shimmy.
390
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,645
Shake the shoulders back and forth.
391
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,449
Shake them.
392
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,244
Very 900d, very good.
393
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,926
Yeah, oh, yeah.
394
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,446
Now let's do some jackhammer squats.
395
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,007
Right, put your hands
in front of you like this. Just relax.
396
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,923
And then squat up and down but fast.
397
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,570
Faster, faster, there you go.
398
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,641
Really fast.
399
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,324
Faster, faster.
400
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,243
Too fast. Do it a little slower.
401
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,606
Now, everybody turn,
402
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,126
face the back of the room, bend over,
403
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,690
and reach for your toes.
404
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,807
Why do we have to turn around?
405
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,041
If you please.
406
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,727
And bend over as low as you can go.
407
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and
slap it against the right cheek.
408
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,365
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
409
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,251
Good, I want to hear that slap.
410
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,687
Yes, this is wonderful.
411
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,042
Morning, ladies.
412
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,565
You started without me?
413
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,802
Yes, just like you asked me to.
414
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,362
Say it's true even if it isn't.
415
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,169
What?
416
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,005
You loved it! You loved it!
417
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,883
Yeah, that's my boy.
418
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,327
-All right.
-You're all prostitutes!
419
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,448
Anyway. I'm Kyle,
420
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,366
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
421
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,206
I wish they called it something else,
but that's what they told me to say.
422
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,001
Okay, so, before we start for real,
423
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,206
any questions?
424
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,566
Yes.
425
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,966
Are you married?
426
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,121
No.
427
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,361
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
428
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,169
Yeah.
429
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,564
I forgot.
You're so gorgeous, my head is spinning.
430
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.
431
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,046
Go ahead.
432
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,205
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
433
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,688
The first part of the question is,
"Did a scientist make you in a lab?"
434
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,444
And the second part of the question is,
435
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,841
"Can I stick my tongue
down your throat, please?"
436
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,606
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, I am,
437
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,605
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
438
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,486
Of course he is.
439
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,210
- All of 'em.
-That sucks!
440
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,486
What a waste!
441
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,971
Stay out of my bag, little man.
442
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,084
Why does she have this?
443
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,367
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
444
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,006
Well, well, well,
445
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,684
if it isn't Hollywood
446
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,161
and the Squares.
447
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,481
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
448
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,325
and apparently the hair on top of your head
didn't know it, either.
449
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,561
What?
450
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,846
Do me a favor, go like this.
451
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,604
I think I got something in my teeth.
452
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,006
-What?
-You know,
453
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,482
next time, you should use
that Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
454
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,840
What?
455
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,887
Why is Higgins buying
456
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,371
O.J.'s knife right now?
457
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,608
-You think you're tough?
-Hey, Malcolm,
458
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,286
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
459
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,606
I don't even get that.
460
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,966
What?
461
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,121
Come on, let's cheer him up
462
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,526
Benny Hill-style. Here we go.
463
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,726
Come On, come On, come On, come On...
464
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:29,961
Does that make you feel better?
465
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,840
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
466
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,684
Good, good. He's in school.
467
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,683
Kid's in school for one day?
468
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,889
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
469
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,531
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
470
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,080
So you're gonna buy this to cut his head off?
471
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,367
No,
I just want him to think I'll cut his head off
472
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,010
so then he won't cut my head off.
473
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,050
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
474
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,647
May I suggest this?
475
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,927
Sir? Sir? Can you get off the bed?
476
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,729
It's wake-up time.
477
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,408
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
478
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,608
Now, why is... Being mean?
479
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,048
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
480
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,122
You don't have to yell at me.
481
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,009
I love you.
482
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,445
I don't understand.
483
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,249
Clean-up, aisle nine.
484
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,766
Get out of me!
485
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,730
And bring a shovel.
486
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,367
So, my son Bumpty told me
487
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,091
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
488
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,970
First of all, my daughter's
never been out on a date before,
489
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,930
and I'm sure she's not gonna start off
with some kid named Bumpty.
490
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,970
He is the only other black kid in her grade.
491
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,849
Wait, you want her to date a white guy?
492
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,445
Yeah, Farrakhan.
493
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,602
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
494
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,762
than your little bald-headed boy.
495
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,930
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
496
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,690
'cause I already had the talk with him.
497
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,524
-What talk?
-Dating.
498
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,410
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
499
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,882
You know, beep-beep.
500
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,801
What?
501
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,326
I should get some pepper spray for my kid.
502
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,846
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
503
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,729
and he refuses to fight back.
504
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,167
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
505
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,685
-Who?
-You.
506
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,683
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
507
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,524
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
508
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,045
moved here from Texas?
509
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,602
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
510
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,523
Tommy Cavanaugh was a ‘roid freak.
511
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,602
He had back zits on his back zits.
512
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,284
Plus, he was joking around with me.
513
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,330
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
514
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,606
Hey, isn't that Cavanaugh right there?
515
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,648
Where?
516
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,647
Gotcha.
517
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,848
That was really funny, man, really funny.
518
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,641
Hey, you weren't exactly Captain Courageous
when we were growing up, now, were you?
519
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,603
Hey, I never backed out of a fight, though.
520
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,166
Yeah, but did you everjump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
521
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,765
That's right.
522
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,922
He always came up
with a lame excuse not to do it.
523
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,525
-What are you talking about?
-"l can't.
524
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,887
"I'm on my period. It'll attract sharks."
525
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:10,004
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
526
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,323
My mom did thatjump
when she was pregnant with me.
527
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,524
There's a raft in there?
528
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,163
Who did that?
529
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,764
All right, little birds. Find your nests, man.
530
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,646
Float down. There we go, and we're in.
531
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,801
All right, guys,
532
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,202
normally we don't have exciting news
this late into the term,
533
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,648
but we have a new student joining us today,
Braden Higgins.
534
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,960
Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man.
535
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,327
Why don't you go cop a squat?
536
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,568
Or go that way, man.
537
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,642
Take your own path.
538
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,923
No.
539
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,411
I sit here.
540
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,562
ls your dad Marcus Higgins?
541
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,251
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
542
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,448
The best. Great, great man.
543
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,490
I want to smash his face.
544
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,562
-Yeah, me, too.
-Yeah, I hate that guy.
545
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,529
Screw him.
546
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,766
Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up. Question...
547
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,923
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
548
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
549
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,046
What does that mean?
550
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,610
I think he's asking you out.
551
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,727
He is?
552
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,370
You are?
553
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,965
I don't make stuff up.
554
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,407
Well, can Donna come?
555
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,403
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
556
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,562
No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
557
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,366
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
558
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,566
Just you two.
559
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,130
All right. I mean,
560
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,929
I'd have to ask my parents,
561
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,526
but I think that would be okay.
562
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,601
Hey, Bumpty.
563
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,126
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
564
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,283
you can sit and socialize the entire period?
565
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,443
I don't think about stuff like that,
Lady Shorts.
566
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,726
Well, can you think fast?
567
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,006
Who wants to watch me climb a rope?
568
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,402
Yeah!
569
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,081
You're the man!
570
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,121
Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs
back in the basket.
571
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,725
Dang!
572
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,848
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
573
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,769
I can't take it anymore!
574
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,002
I wish I never had you!
575
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,764
Stop it! Stop it!
576
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,808
See, that's why I don't want four kids.
577
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,244
-Yeah, people with fourjust lose their minds.
-Yeah.
578
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,600
They're yelling, they're screaming.
579
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,762
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
580
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,286
Hold up. Hang on.
581
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,600
I got a burpsnart coming.
582
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,886
-Come on.
-You got to teach me how you do that.
583
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,450
-A burpsnart? It's simple.
-Yeah.
584
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,170
You just start with a burp,
585
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,049
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
586
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,326
and that triggers a fart, always.
587
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,641
What's up with this school bus?
588
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,644
Okay. I stole it.
589
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,967
What? Put your hands in the air.
590
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,362
And wave them like you just don't care
"ho"
591
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,441
"ho"
592
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,168
I heard you're having a party tonight, Lenny.
593
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,322
What? I'm not having a party.
594
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,487
Where did you hear that?
595
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,086
He's a cop. He hears everything.
596
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,161
Oh, God.
597
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,964
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
598
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,088
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
599
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,044
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
600
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,731
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
601
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,644
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
602
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,404
This side of the law is way better.
603
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,006
To serve and protect. Got to love it.
604
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,321
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
605
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,563
I didn't assault anybody.
I just choked out your brother.
606
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,803
Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy.
607
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,690
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
608
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,842
Recital?
609
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,161
-At McDonough Elementary?
-Yes.
610
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,322
-Can I come?
-Why?
611
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,602
Trust me. Everybody's got to go.
612
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,409
We got five minutes.
We're never gonna make it there.
613
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,606
You'll get there on time,
614
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,968
'cause we're gonna give you
a four-alarm presidential police escort.
615
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,280
Isn't that against the law?
616
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,044
I am the law!
617
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,528
What's happening?
618
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,688
Oh, my God! Whatjust happened?
619
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,281
Welcome, parents,
to final performance of school year,
620
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,401
our June-a-licious
621
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,767
Dance Spectacular!
622
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,085
Now, for this year,
623
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,929
we go throwing a few
624
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,445
hip-hop moves in there.
625
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,522
Like this.
626
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,491
ls fun to dance.
627
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Let the show begin.
628
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,127
So nice of you
to invite your friends and the bus driver
629
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,124
and the police force
to our daughter's dance recital.
630
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,603
Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them.
631
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,050
She's so cute.
632
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,610
-So cute.
-She's adorable, isn't she?
633
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:07,966
She is adorable.
634
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,610
- Fantastic stuff.
-Unbelievable.
635
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,290
-Look at her go.
-I am.
636
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,283
I'm looking at her.
637
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,525
I want to arrest her for disturbing the peace.
638
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.
639
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,090
I'm having a wonderful time.
640
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,648
She's got a solo?
641
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,600
What?
642
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,125
It's fine. I just wish that you
would give me more than eight hours notice
643
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,328
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
644
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,765
It's not a party. Get out of here.
645
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,285
- It's a couple people coming by.
-Come on.
646
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,725
How'd you like it?
647
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,529
-You were great, honey.
-Hey!
648
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,523
Where did you learn to dance like that?
649
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,523
She moves like "Yagger," no?
650
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,364
Yes, she does, she moves like...
651
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,930
Mick Yagger? ls that what you were saying?
652
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,241
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
653
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,243
Yes.
654
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,924
Cavanaugh.
655
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,321
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
656
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,643
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
657
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,529
He was my old steroid that I grew up with.
658
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,641
This is my...
659
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,768
Wife, Roxanne.
660
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,490
Why are your hands shaking, Daddy?
661
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,766
My hands are shaking?
662
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,490
Probably because I
663
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,801
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
664
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,451
I heard you been running around
saying you could take me in a fight.
665
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,682
You... I wouldn't say that.
666
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,569
Yeah, you did, this morning in Kmart.
667
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,324
Kmart? Was I there?
668
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,368
-I don't think I was there.
-You know,
669
00:32:58,440 --> 00:32:59,805
all I can remember about this guy
670
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,723
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
671
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,723
and him not doing a single thing about it.
672
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,168
Yeah, we had a lot of
good times like that growing up.
673
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,084
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
674
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,208
You don't stop talking, do you?
675
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,123
Honey, we should be getting going.
676
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,326
Sure, baby.
677
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,482
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
678
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,971
or I'm gonna have to set you straight.
679
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,280
Sure, sure, sure.
680
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,124
I'll see you around.
681
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,010
Becky, you be having great summer.
682
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,489
I was one inch away
683
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,847
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
684
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,921
No, you weren't.
685
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,570
This is grown-up talk,
686
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,085
so butt out!
687
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,201
That's insane! What did you say to him?
688
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,170
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh,
you speak to me like that again
689
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,210
"in front of my wife and kid,
I will brush your teeth with a brick."
690
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,408
No, you didn't. You just yelled at me.
691
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,403
-I don't yell at you!
-Calm down.
692
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,686
No, I'm just saying.
693
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,125
You guys were in the bathroom.
694
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,282
Look who's here, everybody.
695
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,250
20 VOSS waters, right?
696
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,209
-That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
-I don't know.
697
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,602
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
698
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,122
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
699
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,726
I know. I heard you brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
700
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,121
and now Showbiz Junior's got a job.
701
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,726
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
702
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,643
It's a great first job for a kid.
703
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,367
Or lifetime job.
704
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,249
Okay, what are we having?
705
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,481
Becky, what do you want, hon?
706
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,041
Can I have the soft chocolate cup, please?
707
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,851
Here's a word you probably never heard, no.
708
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,291
The machine's busted, princess.
709
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,604
Bummer, it's broken? Like all your dreams?
710
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,642
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
711
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,081
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
712
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,367
I went to DeVry for a year.
713
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,727
-That's right.
-I can fix anything with a plug.
714
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,926
Including your hair?
715
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,401
That's not true.
I don't even know how that got started.
716
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,090
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
717
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,286
I'll walk you through it.
718
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,601
You just walk up,
climb up the machine, lean over the back.
719
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,330
Can't believe I'm listening to this idiot.
720
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,401
Listen to the man.
721
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,606
You're gonna see
722
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,727
two pipes coming into the top.
723
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,450
-Yes!
-In between them,
724
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,931
there's gonna be a silver button.
725
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,001
Hit it a little bit.
726
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,127
Push hard.
727
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,009
N0. Hit it with your fist.
728
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,770
Yeah, just push the button.
729
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,444
-I got it.
-There we go!
730
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,045
I think we're getting somewhere.
731
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,326
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
732
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,281
Force it. That's it.
733
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,607
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
734
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,647
What'd she say?
735
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,967
-Nothing! Nothing!
-Go! Just go!
736
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,962
Go, Dickie!
737
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,964
That's where ice cream comes from?
738
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,400
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
739
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,801
Froot Loop?
740
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,881
Ten months
741
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,930
of learning, growth
742
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,729
and, yes, hopefully,
743
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,962
a little bit of fun.
744
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,404
But the journey we began
together, in September,
745
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,006
does not end today.
746
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,050
For education is a process
747
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,603
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
748
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,050
Please let me finish. Return to your seats.
749
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,321
Damn you!
750
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,890
Every year, you do this to me!
751
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,601
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
752
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,409
How you doing, sophomore?
753
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,891
Not bad, sophomore.
754
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,961
Come here!
755
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,521
Hey, you're not a statue.
756
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,364
You're an ass-tue.
757
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,849
Doesn't even make any sense.
758
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,166
Shut up!
759
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,209
What? What? What?
760
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
761
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,691
What's up, man?
762
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,841
Your dad picking you up?
763
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,570
I don't know.
764
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,881
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
765
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,724
so it's on me.
766
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,326
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
767
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,408
Nah, how about we do something fun?
768
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,369
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
769
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,771
"Keep out."
770
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
Thatjust makes me want to not keep out.
771
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,570
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
772
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky clean,
but I think they were nuts.
773
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,925
College kids.
774
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,684
We better go.
775
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,402
No go.
776
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,851
Stay-
777
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,089
He's nuts.
778
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,281
Let's go.
779
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,441
Hey!
780
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,965
Where are you guys 90mg?
781
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,890
Join the party.
782
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,363
Here. One and two.
783
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,003
Are you guys freshmen?
784
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,809
No. We're seniors.
785
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,451
We just became seniors, like, 20 minutes ago.
786
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,682
Not high school seniors, college seniors.
787
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,330
Wait a minute!
788
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,129
I remember you guys.
789
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,964
You're Scully.
790
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
You're Boomer.
791
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,245
Come here.
792
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,765
I love you guys so much.
793
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,366
-I love you, too.
-Girl, I love you more.
794
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,965
I'm gonna go.
795
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,042
Body shots!
796
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,084
No go.
797
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,127
Stay-
798
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,641
Okay, okay.
But what about these beers, man?
799
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:32,963
If we don't drink them, they'll be onto us,
and I'm not sure I'm ready for beer yet.
800
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,004
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
801
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,241
then act like we're drunk.
802
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,731
Okay. Good idea.
803
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,484
All right, let's go.
804
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,849
Summertime.
805
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,844
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
806
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,887
- Really?
-Come on!
807
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,007
Come on.
808
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,764
It's a lifelong shame.
809
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,320
You're finally doing Suicide 35. It's a big day.
810
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,526
What are you scared of, man?
811
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,524
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
812
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,921
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
813
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,081
But I'll do it right now.
814
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
815
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,328
Do it. Do it.
816
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,728
But the thing is this, I just...
817
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,370
I ate about 45 minutes ago.
818
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,680
What did you eat?
819
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,046
I had chicken chow mein.
820
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,929
Chicken chow mein? When did...
821
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,451
We were with you the whole time!
822
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,284
Yeah. You didn't see it? They had it at Kmart.
823
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,691
-They have chicken chow...
-Get out of here.
824
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,046
- It's good there. Yeah.
-it's very good.
825
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,406
What do I hear right now?
826
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,886
Look at this.
827
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,806
Beers on ice. Hot ladies everywhere.
828
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,008
This is how we used to do it.
829
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,765
-This is how I still do it, buddy.
-He does still do it that way.
830
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,171
Well, you should stop.
831
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,362
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property.
832
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,970
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
833
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,042
and get back to your trailer homes.
834
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,407
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
835
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,005
I think it's...
836
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,969
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
837
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,644
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
838
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,484
so you can calm down a little bit.
839
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,290
I'm sure it was the bomb!
840
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,444
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
841
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,568
But it's the 21st century now.
842
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,563
And Thicky-Thick and the Flabby Bunch
843
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,608
should never take their shirts off again.
844
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,762
-That hurts.
-Okay, I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
845
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,888
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
846
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
Boom! That just happened.
847
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,445
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
848
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,045
since Eminem played Duke.
849
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,565
There it goes. And then...
850
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,801
Boom!
851
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,450
That just happened. How was that?
852
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,763
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
853
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,890
-Long handjob.
-That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
854
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,645
I think it's over.
855
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,290
-Hey, hey, hey!
-What, what, what?
856
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,566
What?
857
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,325
And a little extra right there.
858
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,449
Hey, fellows, that was a good handshake.
We got a good one, too. it goes like this.
859
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,124
-Okay, here we go.
-How you doing, sir?
860
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,009
Nice to see you. Very good, sir.
861
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,525
-Beautiful day.
-Yeah, at least we're not stuck
862
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,161
in some crap town like this,
hanging up drywall for the rest of our lives.
863
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,844
Bay-com!
864
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,251
Hanging drywall? First of all,
865
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,731
I'll have you know that I own pretty much
866
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,802
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
867
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,723
This guy works for the cable company.
868
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,006
Free cable for life.
869
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,206
What?
870
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,691
Over here, you know Higgins?
871
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,161
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
872
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,601
So he was highballing you with the drywall.
873
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,850
Boom!
874
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,010
This just got real.
875
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,407
- Real stupid? What happened?
-Something's real.
876
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,327
-Yeah...
-Dougie, Dougie...
877
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,846
Are you guys as wasted as us?
878
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,810
Hells, yeah! All the time!
879
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,286
Yo, we're gonna let you guys
continue your Klan meeting in a minute.
880
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
He's just gonna jump off of here,
and then we'll leave.
881
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,365
I can't permit that.
882
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,124
I can't permit it!
883
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,089
Can't permit it.
884
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,084
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
885
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,521
Look at my hands, huh?
886
00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,965
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
887
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,644
Yeah, look, my brother's shaking.
888
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,283
-That was a cool move.
-Now, listen to me.
889
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,203
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
890
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,647
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
891
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,881
I got to stretch. It's overlooked.
892
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,485
No, I understand.
893
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,210
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
894
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:20,126
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
behind you for some unknown reason.
895
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,963
We got kids, we can't afford to do this.
896
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,724
Buddy,dude,
you don't have to do that last flip.
897
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,928
Don't, like, get hurt.
898
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,206
We'll come back another time.
899
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,566
You will come back never!
900
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,722
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
901
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,087
Dude, why are you acting so crazy?
902
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,050
Did Betty White just call you crazy?
903
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,286
- Did he just call you Betty White?
-Betty White?
904
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,361
That's pretty funny.
905
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,805
We've got a situation!
906
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,571
You know what? Hey, guys? Guys?
907
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,210
-Hey, what's up, guys?
-Let's get out of here.
908
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,441
Listen, it's nice to meet everybody.
909
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,761
-We're gonna take off, but let's do this again.
-Take care, guys.
910
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,171
-Enjoy yourself.
-Not that way.
911
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,561
ls there an elevator?
912
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,969
That way.
913
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,531
Come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
914
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,002
Naked.
915
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,967
Asshole.
916
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,208
You guys are losers.
917
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
918
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,168
That poor old lady!
919
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,930
rm Paralyzed!
920
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,287
I'm in so much pain!
921
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,249
Mama!
922
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,328
No!
923
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,249
I was inside you!
924
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,565
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
925
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,768
Damn you, Obama!
926
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,889
What the hell just happened?
927
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,566
I saw my dad's dick.
928
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,731
Well, the good news is
Lamonsoff finally did the jump for real.
929
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,007
And the bad news is he landed on my face.
930
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,168
What are you, made of rocks, dude?
931
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,686
Check this out, feel this. I'm not kidding you.
932
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,046
Right up here.
933
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,087
I think even higher.
934
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,161
- Feel that.
-And?
935
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,401
Put your hand right there.
936
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,209
Feel the other one. Those are my balls.
937
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,123
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
938
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,361
You're getting me turned on.
939
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,522
Are you kidding me?
940
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,647
What?
941
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,051
They slashed our tires!
942
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,531
These kids won't stop abusing us!
943
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,766
Damn you!
944
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,964
This wasn't college kids.
945
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,646
It was my son, Satan.
946
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,128
And why is this kid so angry?
947
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but she was happy!
And hot.
948
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,402
If she's so hot,
949
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,165
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
950
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,766
Beefcakes! Come on, baby!
951
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,804
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
952
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,326
It's not funny, dude!
She's gonna kick the crap out of me later!
953
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,085
Wow.
954
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,481
-A little five-hour Energy, huh?
-Yeah.
955
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,890
500-hour Energy?
956
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,405
I drink it for the taste, okay?
957
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
958
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,361
No!
959
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,686
A bonus!
960
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,524
Come on, just cram yourself in there.
961
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,604
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
962
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,921
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
963
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,287
-For what?
-Just get in the tire.
964
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,283
-No way! In there?
-Five yards we'll roll you.
965
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,727
We've done it.
I would do it if I could get in there.
966
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,450
This is peer pressure, you're bullying.
967
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,091
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
968
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,242
Don't let him do it. He's jacked up on juice.
969
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,368
And a-one, and a-two...
970
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,522
-Mommy's got you.
-...and a-three!
971
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,290
-Okay, five feet. Grab me.
-Y'e||o.
972
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,964
-Lenny!
-Hey, Keithie.
973
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,247
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
974
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,970
Why am I still rolling?
975
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,644
Lenny!
976
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,370
Help!
977
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,090
Guys, get me!
978
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,481
- Hang in there!
-I'm going downhill!
979
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,641
Lenny! No! No!
980
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,971
When will it end?
981
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,285
Yeah. Summer is here, man!
982
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,203
Help! Stop! No!
983
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,161
Tire on the loose!
984
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
985
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,841
Someone!
986
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,570
Higgins is in the tire!
987
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,011
Of course.
988
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,684
-Help!
-Get there!
989
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,250
Help!
990
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,402
-Liar!
-No, no, baby!
991
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,848
No! No! Someone!
992
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,162
Shaw's over, tire.
993
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,327
I'm next.
994
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,084
-I got next!
-No, I'm next!
995
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,160
It's my tire! My turn!
996
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,004
Hey!
997
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,809
What happened?
998
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,526
I got a phone call.
999
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,531
Okay. I forgive you.
1000
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,807
Was it long-distance or something?
1001
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,848
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1002
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,127
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1003
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:11,208
looking like he was up to no good.
1004
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,886
You lied about the soup.
1005
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,406
You lied about the soup!
1006
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find those fartheads,
1007
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,127
and we are gonna kill them.
1008
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,930
Kill!
1009
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1010
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,563
No, guys! Not each other!
1011
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,450
We're not killing each other!
1012
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,570
K-E-I-T
1013
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,450
H-I-E.
1014
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,682
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
1015
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,128
It's a practice, Donna.
You don't have to go full speed.
1016
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,440
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
1017
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,646
It's fine!
1018
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,200
Hey, look at these giant mooses out there.
1019
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,802
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1020
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,441
Plus, the kicker, honestly, is like,
one of the most important guys on the team
1021
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:22,484
and you don't have to worry about getting
your head bashed in every play.
1022
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,483
I get it, Dad. I'm a wimp.
1023
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,641
You're not a wimp.
1024
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,926
It's just common sense.
1025
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,843
Avoid big idiots trying to hurt you.
1026
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,330
I was trying to avoid a big idiot
trying to hurt me on the bus this morning,
1027
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,731
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
1028
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,723
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1029
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,326
and you just...
You can't back down in those situations.
1030
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,368
I'm telling you, I've backed down a few times,
1031
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,566
it's not a good feeling.
1032
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,529
All right, look, let'sjust
kick a few field goals.
1033
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,284
It's like soccer, which you're great at.
1034
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,204
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1035
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,367
What?
1036
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,646
Touchdown! Yeah!
1037
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,364
Yeah!
1038
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,522
That's ridiculous! Your first try?
1039
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,608
All right, we're backing up, boy.
1040
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,251
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1041
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,607
That was just, like, awesome!
1042
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,569
Okay, drive through the ball.
1043
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,210
Drive through the ball.
1044
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,327
It's up!
1045
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,366
Yeah! Go, Keithie!
1046
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,410
Yes! What did you eat this morning?
1047
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,121
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1048
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,645
From the 30!
1049
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,404
Who the hell is this kid?
1050
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,885
Oh, my God!
1051
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,530
Stop! Keithie time!
1052
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,043
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1053
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,201
Really?
1054
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,851
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1055
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,002
Keithie!
1056
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:49,170
All right, let's see how you do
in a real game situation, though.
1057
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,686
Okay? Let's pretend I'm a linebacker,
1058
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,410
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1059
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,481
Okay.
1060
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!
1061
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,003
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1062
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,081
Give me that football!
1063
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,324
My leg!
1064
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,640
Keithie!
1065
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:07,722
Don't tell your mother!
1066
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:11,168
All right, that kid's dead. Back to work.
1067
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,446
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1068
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,601
Yeah.
1069
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,569
-Parallel park?
-Yeah, yeah.
1070
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,688
Hey, don't "yeah, yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1071
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,250
You're precious cargo.
1072
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,163
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1073
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:24,247
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1074
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready for this, all right?
1075
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,450
You're late.
1076
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:31,920
Hello, McKenzie.
1077
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1078
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,924
Just two years of this.
1079
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,083
And I still only have 40% feeling in my body.
1080
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,123
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1081
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,929
No, Rihanna's fine.
1082
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.
1083
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,125
Get her done, son!
1084
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,407
And remember everything we talked about!
1085
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,720
Defensive driving!
1086
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,961
Stop at all yellows!
1087
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,121
Obey the laws!
1088
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,646
-You moron!
-Look out!
1089
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,684
Be safe! Don't do what I just did!
1090
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,641
Hey, officers, you guys want to stick around
1091
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,404
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1092
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,767
You're afraid of us leaving you
alone with your son, aren't you?
1093
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,888
My son... Are you kidding me? I don't care...
1094
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,088
-Boo!
-He's got a knife!
1095
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,849
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1096
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,809
Just 35 feet.
1097
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,360
Who do you think you are, Tarzan?
1098
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,329
- It's no big deal.
-Honey?
1099
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,164
Hi, Sally.
1100
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,004
Hi, honey. I... No, I just came to see
1101
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,201
if Mommy was alive.
1102
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,805
And looking now,
1103
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,166
she's breathing, she's good.
1104
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,844
Hi. What are you doing here?
1105
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,008
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1106
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,320
-That's good.
-You said you couldn't
1107
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,890
get coffee with me because you had
1108
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,850
a 3:30 appointment with a Mr. Renaldo.
1109
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,160
Hello, ladies!
1110
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,844
You!
1111
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:44,921
Can't be!
1112
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,241
We killed you. Last week.
1113
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,767
You actually think two amateurish nitwits
1114
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,083
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1115
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,771
I told you.
1116
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,923
You did. You called it.
1117
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,005
So the leg's not really broken, huh?
1118
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,561
No, it is broken, right here.
1119
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,325
Just a hairline fracture, though.
1120
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,164
No, it's a clean break.
1121
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,685
Slight, though.
1122
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,331
Slight? No. It's broken.
1123
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,085
Broken-broken or just broken?
1124
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,731
It's a broken leg.
1125
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,407
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1126
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,606
Right.
1127
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:32,288
ls there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1128
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,726
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1129
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,370
So you're saying my wife is crazy?
1130
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,010
No, no. I was joking.
1131
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,889
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1132
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,610
Look, your son
1133
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,923
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1134
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,891
If you don't mind, I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1135
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,247
So you're a little loopy from lack of sleep,
1136
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,890
and that really isn't my son's bone.
1137
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,923
That's a piece of celery you snapped.
1138
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:57,967
' Len fly!
~Yes?
1139
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,565
The leg is broken!
1140
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,929
You can't undo this,
1141
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,243
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1142
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,928
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1143
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,081
There is.
1144
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,844
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1145
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,450
Another one of your jokes, huh?
1146
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,010
I Wish.
1147
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,449
Okay, the light is red now,
so just remain stopped.
1148
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,045
Scully, is that you?
1149
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,166
Scully!
1150
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,604
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1151
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,126
Are you taking your driver's test drunk?
1152
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,282
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1153
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,010
-You're a madman!
-Psychopath, man!
1154
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,081
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1155
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,401
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1156
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,484
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1157
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,642
They disrespected our frat house!
1158
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,245
Man, they disrespected the crap out of it!
1159
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,890
No, can't have that.
1160
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,446
Brewski time, dude!
1161
00:54:58,520 --> 00:54:59,965
It's not for you, Scully.
1162
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,804
It's for that freak in the hat next to you.
1163
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,006
Looks like he needs it.
1164
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,081
-Boom!
-Yeah!
1165
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,491
That just happened!
1166
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1167
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,486
Taking your driver's test while intoxicated?
1168
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,447
Minus five points.
1169
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,644
This is ridiculous!
1170
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,367
I've wasted an entire day
waiting for this idiot to show up.
1171
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,125
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1172
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,000
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1173
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,050
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1174
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,690
Love to the children.
1175
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,525
Yes. Yes.
1176
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,361
Damn it, I just sat down.
1177
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,522
I'll be right out there!
1178
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,681
Hang on!
1179
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,364
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1180
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,283
I got bunions, damn it!
1181
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,963
No! No!
1182
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,122
You burn in hell!
1183
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,049
You cable-installing mother...
1184
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,485
Damn it!
1185
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,561
Look, man,
1186
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,881
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1187
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,167
why they don't see their kids,
1188
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,687
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1189
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,808
is actually a fantastic excuse.
1190
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,405
So can you cut me some slack?
1191
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,244
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1192
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,049
Yeah, I know that.
1193
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,724
So why do you call her that?
1194
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,366
No, that's just... It's stupid.
1195
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,240
It's just kind of a nickname I give people that,
1196
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,767
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1197
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,322
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1198
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,926
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1199
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,924
So you'd be Ugly McGee.
1200
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,162
I'd be Ugly McGee. Exactly.
1201
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,566
Shorty McGee.
1202
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,607
Shorty McGee, sure.
1203
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,920
Viagra McGee.
1204
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,331
Right, right. You get it, you get it.
1205
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,449
Listen, man,
1206
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,091
I'm willing to give this a try if you are.
1207
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,451
You know what they say...
Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1208
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:31,241
Maybe we go inside and search the Internet
for funny videos of squirrels waterskiing.
1209
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,927
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
1210
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,289
I'm sorry I lied about the appointment.
1211
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,408
The lying's not the worst part.
1212
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,562
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1213
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:50,971
Who does that?
1214
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,565
Look, she's nice to me.
1215
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,042
You know, she always takes my side,
1216
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,044
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1217
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,208
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
1218
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,443
Okay, I don't.
1219
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,806
You're right.
1220
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,484
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1221
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,166
and I'm always running around the kids,
1222
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,288
and I guess I leave you out a lot,
1223
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,641
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1224
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,485
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1225
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,881
I feel bad.
1226
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,200
Don't feel bad.
1227
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,726
No, I do, because today at the recital,
1228
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,124
I couldn't stop looking at Becky's teacher.
1229
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,969
I don't mind you looking.
1230
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,122
I really don't. Everybody looks.
1231
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,568
I was looking today.
1232
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,529
And I'm totally fine with that.
1233
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,046
As long as he was gay, dead or a cartoon.
1234
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,610
-G8Y-
-0kay-
1235
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:43,402
But no matter who or what we look at,
we'll always come back to each other, right?
1236
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:46,851
-Car wash!
-Car wash!
1237
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,405
- Support our team!
-I'll prove it to you!
1238
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,528
Car wash!
1239
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,171
-What are you doing?
-No, no, you're gonna like this.
1240
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,960
Hi, girls!
1241
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,489
Come on.
1242
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,202
Honey, you don't have to do this.
1243
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,247
I want to.
1244
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,209
Hi, girls!
1245
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,203
Wash it up extra soapy!
1246
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,203
-Car wash!
-Car wash!
1247
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,567
Wait, hang on.
There's a carjust in front of you.
1248
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,641
Better do them first.
1249
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,767
Yo, got a customer!
1250
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,411
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1251
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,528
Extra soapy.
1252
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,609
What is happening right now?
1253
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,166
I swear, I didn't plan this.
1254
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,731
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1255
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,007
Well, I might as well enjoy this.
1256
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,287
Why is this never-ending?
1257
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,330
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1258
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,240
What are you doing? Get in there!
1259
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:43,651
Let me do it.
1260
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,369
Okay, everybody.
1261
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,250
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1262
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,049
Sorry about the leg.
1263
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,565
The good news is
1264
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,688
the children got through
another year of school.
1265
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,847
Fabulously.
1266
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,844
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
1267
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,684
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1268
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,162
You prepared us your famous
chicken é la food poisoning,
1269
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,526
which we're all excited to eat.
1270
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,046
I'm just kidding.
1271
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,361
But the greatest thing is,
it's my favorite part of the day
1272
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:17,566
with my four best friends.
1273
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,926
To the Feders!
1274
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,611
So Bumpty asked me out for ice cream today.
1275
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,844
I "went out for ice cream" once
with your dad.
1276
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,129
Nine months later, Andre popped out.
1277
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,401
This is the best vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1278
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,767
That's butter, son.
1279
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,361
Here you go.
1280
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,046
-Hey.
-Want me to come in and feed it to you
1281
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,202
like I did the last time?
1282
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,521
No, no. I got my kid here.
1283
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,721
That wouldn't be cool.
1284
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,280
You said you loved me!
1285
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,284
They're not all tens, buddy.
1286
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,289
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1287
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,045
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1288
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,851
What was it, me naked?
1289
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,244
What?
1290
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,890
What's a burpsmart?
1291
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,086
Burpsnorp?
1292
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,650
A burpsnart!
1293
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,929
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1294
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,047
He goes...
1295
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,401
I think I just shat myself.
1296
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,245
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1297
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:32,970
What?
1298
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,166
It's paint.
1299
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,651
It doesn't come off.
1300
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,087
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1301
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,766
-A theme?
-Roxanne decided the theme is...
1302
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,686
The '80s?
1303
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,808
That was 70 years ago.
1304
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,924
I thought we could go as Hall & Oates.
1305
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:51,967
Hall & Oates?
1306
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,127
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1307
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,009
What is that, like a cereal?
1308
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,525
No.
1309
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,604
Why don't you ask Nancy Arbuckle
to come by for the get-together?
1310
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,570
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1311
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,767
You know what, Charlotte? I trust you,
1312
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,524
and I want you to have fun tonight.
1313
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:10,965
Really.
1314
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,885
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1315
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,207
What...
1316
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:28,565
Used to get 10 cases of beer for my parties,
now I get 10 cases ofjuice boxes.
1317
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,405
Hey, Beckster.
1318
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,164
-Hey, Stud Muffin.
-Hey.
1319
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,562
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1320
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:36,687
ls that right?
1321
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,331
You must be Roxanne's husband. I'm Kyle.
1322
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,641
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1323
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,563
I worked her out this morning.
1324
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:44,641
Really?
1325
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,326
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1326
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:48,841
All right.
1327
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,843
Hi.
1328
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,046
What's up?
1329
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,690
This is awkward.
1330
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,842
My husband's here.
1331
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,570
Why is that awkward?
1332
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,324
Why?
1333
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,129
Well, let me give you a hint.
1334
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,808
You have brain damage?
1335
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,367
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1336
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,771
All right.
1337
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,842
Nothing.
1338
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,766
It's just... Just time to...
1339
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,524
Help me out here.
1340
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,570
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1341
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,529
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1342
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:24,601
Did he pass his test?
1343
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,125
He squeaked by.
1344
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,328
We didn't check out any soapy cheerleaders.
1345
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,084
What's going on with you and my wife?
1346
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,161
I'm gonna go.
1347
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,571
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1348
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,921
I don't see any of these conversations
working out for me.
1349
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,365
- Adios-
-I'll see you tonight.
1350
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,407
Hey-
1351
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:38,641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1352
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,641
What?
1353
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,768
Yeah, party tonight '80s-style, huh?
1354
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,649
Rocky Ill.
1355
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:46,961
- VViley!
-C)Kay_
1356
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,764
Hey, babe.
1357
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,966
What does Penny's note say?
1358
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,084
She wrote, "Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1359
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.
1360
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,561
"Meet me by your mailbox at 11:00."
1361
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,007
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1362
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,321
You have any idea what just happened there?
1363
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,686
Not a clue.
1364
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,161
I don't care who your parents are.
1365
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,844
You screw up, I fire you.
1366
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,048
It's all good.
1367
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:23,167
"It's all good"?
1368
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,481
It's a family restaurant, not a rap show.
1369
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,130
It's all bad?
1370
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,089
That's right, it is.
1371
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,525
You got a customer.
1372
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,604
I'm sorry. Welcome to the Ice Cream House.
1373
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,330
Hi, Greg.
1374
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,209
Nancy, hi.
1375
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,045
I think you crushed your cones.
1376
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,281
No.
1377
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,771
That was a... That was a squeeze test.
1378
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,444
These cones failed.
1379
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:46,204
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1380
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.
1381
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,285
And number two.
1382
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,362
You have such a nice smile.
1383
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,124
Thanks.
1384
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,124
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1385
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,282
Tonight?
1386
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,441
Sure.
1387
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:02,642
No freaking way.
1388
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,885
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1389
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,291
when we were growing up.
1390
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,641
It always worked then.
1391
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,529
Even on my wife.
1392
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,484
I ain't no boy with a mind you can toy,
1393
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,484
'cause if this is a ploy, I'll destroy Illinois.
1394
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,325
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1395
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,370
I been laying it down truthful since day one.
1396
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,410
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1397
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:35,608
but only, like, in the shower.
1398
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,688
I'm scared to sing in front of other people.
1399
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,764
If you scared, that means you don't got it.
1400
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1401
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,484
Dinosaur!
1402
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,527
How long ago was the '80s?
1403
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,365
That was way back in the 1900s.
1404
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:57,646
We learned about it in school.
1405
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,767
It was wack.
1406
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,844
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1407
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,570
You had to watch commercials.
1408
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:04,721
No way.
1409
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,131
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1410
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:09,969
How we doing?
1411
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,361
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1412
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,805
I am wearing a costume.
1413
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,611
Bruce Springsteen, Born in the U. S.A.
1414
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,329
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1415
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,368
I guess some guy with a giant butt.
1416
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:24,569
You don't know who the Boss is?
1417
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,165
I stink as a father.
1418
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,242
You do not stink as a father.
1419
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,163
You're the best father I know.
1420
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,607
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1421
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,727
Why I don't want a baby?
1422
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,280
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1423
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,920
No. No, no.
1424
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,804
Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad.
1425
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,484
It was your flabby ass.
1426
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:53,042
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1427
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,247
Hey, I'm sorry I raised my voice.
1428
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,924
In front of the children!
1429
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,570
Right, in front of the kids.
1430
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,880
It's just, you...
1431
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,611
All you're doing is bringing up this
baby thing over and over.
1432
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,125
Are you going through, like,
1433
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:15,250
a "womany" hormone
situation or something?
1434
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,089
Menopause?
1435
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,128
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1436
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,924
Okay, no, I meant schizophrenia.
1437
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,287
No, honey, honey, honey,
1438
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,330
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1439
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,890
How about we just adopt a kid?
1440
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,246
Like a 20-year-old who has a job.
1441
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,810
That way we could make money off of him.
1442
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:35,768
I just... Don't you think
we can start concentrating on me and you?
1443
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,406
That's all I'm saying. It's our time.
1444
01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:43,088
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1445
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,447
Good, there's pills for that.
1446
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,969
I'm pregnant.
1447
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:54,408
Our guests are here.
1448
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute, when did we even have...
1449
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:07,724
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1450
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,565
Wow. Lenny, that's big, brother.
1451
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,165
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1452
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,651
What are you talking about, Prince?
1453
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,768
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1454
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,848
There's a lot of great aspects to that.
1455
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:21,527
Like, when Junior graduates high school,
you'll be 64.
1456
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,931
How is that a good thing?
1457
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,729
Actually, it's horrifying.
1458
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,723
I didn't do the math
before I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1459
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,882
Nice job, Cher.
1460
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,007
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1461
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,162
I'm Meat Loaf, all right? Yeah.
1462
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,971
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1463
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:36,280
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1464
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,164
I'm Oates.
1465
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,241
Where's Hall?
1466
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,681
Hall's having a playdate with your kids.
1467
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,848
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1468
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,046
All right? You're a great dad.
1469
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:49,650
Right, I know. I broke my son's leg today.
1470
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,881
That's a real good dad.
1471
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:53,645
Guys, you're bumming me out, all right?
This is supposed to be party time.
1472
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,690
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1473
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:59,969
'cause I'm afraid my wife's gonna yell at me
for getting drunk in front of the kids.
1474
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,249
How many of you guys have been to a party
in the past six months?
1475
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,289
A party without a bouncy house.
1476
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,609
A party where they actually invited you.
1477
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,161
Yeah.
1478
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,686
The party's over, fellas.
1479
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:16,808
You saw the way those frat guys
treated us today.
1480
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,245
We're irrelevant.
1481
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:19,560
We're losers.
1482
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,687
We're old.
1483
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,125
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1484
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,043
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1485
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,770
You know what, first of all,
1486
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,411
it's a "survanny" pack, a survival fanny pack,
1487
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,845
with many special features.
1488
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,207
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
1489
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,211
Why don't you give it a shot?
1490
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,487
You got it. I'll pull the string.
1491
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,522
Like a raft out of hell!
1492
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,888
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1493
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say the party's over!
1494
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,329
That didn't happen.
1495
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,328
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1496
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:18,402
No,no,no,no,no.
1497
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,686
What's with all this Prince?
1498
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,000
- I'm Prince.
-The hell.
1499
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,411
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1500
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,130
My skin's way lighter than yours.
1501
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,090
You should have came as Seal
on a hunger strike.
1502
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,687
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1503
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:33,411
And what you doing here, Bumpty?
I thought you was out with my daughter.
1504
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,801
That ain't Bumpty. That's my wife.
1505
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,531
Mary! I didn't recognize you.
1506
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:39,886
Where's your costume?
1507
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:42,884
I didn't find out about the party
until it was too late.
1508
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,044
So you decided to come as a black Muppet?
1509
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,767
What?
1510
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,847
Come on, you're my one and only,
sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1511
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,647
Make a muscle for me?
1512
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:56,846
Pwease?
1513
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,408
So bulgy.
1514
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:06,325
Like a big caramel apple.
1515
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,084
Wow.
1516
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,921
I'm scared. I feel safe with you.
1517
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:33,924
Shut up.
1518
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:39,081
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1519
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,367
I just can't sustain it.
1520
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,602
You know, there's a distance there.
1521
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,885
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1522
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,849
or the Discovery Channel,
1523
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,082
or Dino Nuggets.
1524
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,124
But nothing really works.
1525
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,443
See, you understand, you know?
1526
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,608
'Cause you're, I heard,
1527
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,606
sensitive to men.
1528
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,411
God, he's hot!
1529
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:06,721
Zip it! He'll find out our secret!
1530
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,327
-Drink up, partner.
-Yeah!
1531
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,970
Lenny!
1532
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,809
Secret table.
1533
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,042
Yes, honey, how are you? What's going on?
1534
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,724
We just trying to get our punch on.
1535
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,767
Becky's sleepy-
1536
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,888
She wants her daddy to put her to bed.
1537
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:28,725
Well, Daddy's right about
to enjoy some refreshing punch,
1538
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,763
so could you put her to sleep?
1539
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,842
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1540
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,241
with all these kids running around.
1541
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,850
You know what, I'd be okay with that.
1542
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,251
Actually, you wouldn't.
1543
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,685
Gotcha.
1544
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,604
I'll be back soon, fellas.
I'll be back soon. That's a promise.
1545
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,250
-Let's go, little girl.
-Good night.
1546
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:45,481
Time to go to sleep.
1547
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:47,524
Close your eyes.
1548
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,365
Yeah, Mom.
1549
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,367
As easy as making a free throw.
1550
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,727
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1551
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,451
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1552
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,806
No, no, don't touch that.
1553
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,325
Yeah, you might break it.
1554
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,044
What...
1555
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,929
Where did you learn how to do that?
1556
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:15,804
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1557
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,927
You're a genius?
1558
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,287
My boy's a genius.
1559
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,690
Your dad's also a genius.
1560
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,240
Sweet dreams there, angel, okay?
1561
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,449
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1562
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,126
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1563
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.
1564
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,120
I'll lay down with you, then.
1565
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,329
I just... There's a party going on, but...
1566
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:52,970
Can you tell me a story?
1567
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,644
Look who was in the neighborhood!
1568
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,923
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1569
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,406
-Daddy?
-You don't want one slug?
1570
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,845
No.
1571
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,082
I thought you liked this stuff. Sorry.
1572
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:22,209
All right. I'll tell you a story.
1573
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:28,202
Once upon a time, there was a hand,
1574
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,803
and the hand faced-raked the child.
1575
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,563
Sleep!
1576
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,167
Slee...
1577
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,084
Sleep!
1578
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:45,970
Boy, Feder's cranking
his old rock and roll records pretty loud.
1579
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,283
Guess he's never heard of neighbors.
1580
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,280
Now, why you stopping here?
1581
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,925
I need some air.
1582
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,161
You need some air?
1583
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:57,891
-We haven't even gotten to the party yet.
-I would appreciate it
1584
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,281
if you would stop trying to "manage" me.
1585
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,688
Word, word.
1586
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:05,725
Want me to stay and wait with you?
1587
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,771
I just want to be alone!
1588
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,044
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1589
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,122
Boy!
1590
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:28,604
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1591
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,081
You told me he would be okay.
1592
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,162
He Will be. I...
1593
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,481
He just needs to rest a little bit longer, okay?
1594
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:38,883
Please, Daddy. I need to see him.
1595
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,321
He had a very rough day.
1596
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,089
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1597
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:53,042
Doing leg lifts.
I work out when I can, you know?
1598
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,925
Want some Daddy candy right here?
1599
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:56,968
Why are you naked?
1600
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:58,565
Global warming.
1601
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,320
Why is this empty?
1602
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,845
-Where is Gigglesworth?
-Hey, hey.
1603
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,969
I'm sorry, man. Were you looking for this?
1604
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,280
Why's he look good?
1605
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:07,646
I sewed him.
1606
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,801
You sew?
1607
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:09,961
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1608
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:11,121
Gay camp-
1609
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,441
You went to gay camp? You're gay?
1610
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,171
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1611
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,811
but no, there's no such thing
as gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1612
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,689
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1613
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,331
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1614
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,403
This is great.
1615
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,928
Gigg|esworth's okay,
1616
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,207
you're not fooling around with my wife,
1617
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.
1618
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:37,842
That is not mine.
1619
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:49,082
You're an animal.
1620
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,770
I am the law!
1621
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,688
Can you dig it?
1622
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,441
Come on, big man,
Lenny's got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1623
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,722
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
1624
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,450
I'm just enjoying the water.
1625
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,928
Get out.
1626
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,606
Hurry! Hurry!
1627
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,364
Fluzoo, come on!
1628
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,324
That's not even warm. It's hot.
1629
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,402
I got to give it to your old man for one thing.
1630
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,290
He could always throw a party.
1631
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,964
This is my dad's party?
1632
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,489
Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1633
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,365
Charlotte,
1634
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,766
that was amazing.
1635
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,251
Where'd you learn to sing like that?
1636
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:24,921
No place. I just sing a little in the shower.
1637
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,481
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1638
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:28,800
'Cause I gots the power
1639
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,326
I'm on Today Show
Dissing Matt Lauer
1640
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:32,447
Bumptv!
1641
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:36,809
Do me a favor and shut your mouth
before I slap that Mohawk into a chin strap.
1642
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:38,484
What?
1643
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,320
Hey-
1644
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,448
Who invited you guys?
1645
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,881
Your beautiful wife does.
1646
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,166
Well, she invited her,
1647
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,164
and naturally, we assumed it was a plus one.
1648
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,801
There a problem?
1649
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,521
No, I was gonna say, great Terminator outfit
1650
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,410
and Robert Palmer thing you got on, and...
1651
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,404
Nice babble.
1652
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:16,971
-How about this?
-No.
1653
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,127
What about that?
1654
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,362
Does that hurt? ls that hurting you?
1655
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,521
Yes, it is hurting me.
1656
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,331
Okay. Well, let me do it some more.
1657
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,687
You got something to say?
1658
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,450
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1659
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,161
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1660
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,241
For what?
1661
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,210
For back in the day, always giving me crap.
1662
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:38,528
You don't want to let bygones be bygones?
1663
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,809
I do. After you apologize to me.
1664
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,049
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1665
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:47,681
There isn't a statute
of limitations on being a dick.
1666
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,808
What'd you just say?
1667
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,723
I said what I said.
1668
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,848
You and me are fighting right now.
1669
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,127
Now, let's go! Let's get it over with.
1670
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,527
Man, looks like our friend's about to die.
1671
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,489
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1672
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,171
We're already here.
1673
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,246
Hold my hair, woman.
1674
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,246
You ready for this?
1675
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:14,085
Not at all, but I'm gonna do this,
1676
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,128
'cause I got to show my son what's right.
1677
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,724
We'd do anything for our boys, wouldn't we?
1678
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,211
Absolutely.
1679
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,406
Yeah.
1680
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,050
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1681
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,522
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1682
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,045
Yeah, me, too.
1683
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,565
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1684
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:37,009
Lick his bicep. Lick it, bite it, lick the tan off.
1685
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,688
All right, here's what's gonna happen.
1686
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:43,445
Hit me right on the chin.
I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
1687
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:45,761
-What are you talking about?
-Just do it.
1688
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,320
I know you'd do the same for me
if my boy was watching.
1689
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1690
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,885
No! Don't hit me, please!
1691
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:01,883
I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.
1692
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,371
You would tear me limb from limb.
1693
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:04,766
Open this.
1694
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:07,491
The only reason I picked on you
was because I was afraid of you.
1695
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:08,971
-What?
-Oh, my God.
1696
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,042
Please, please, please. Just go with it.
1697
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,407
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1698
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:17,280
Please. Don't hit me.
1699
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,443
Cavanaugh's crying. This is ridiculous!
1700
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:21,487
Cavanaugh.
1701
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,130
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1702
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,201
No! Please.
1703
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?
1704
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,285
Finger in the eye!
1705
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,249
-Wow.
-Listen to this guy!
1706
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,847
All right, get up. Straighten up.
1707
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,969
I'm not gonna hit you,
1708
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:40,963
but if you ever disrespect me
1709
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,849
or anybody,
1710
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,763
I will hunt you down,
1711
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,481
and I will slap you into a pile of tattoos,
1712
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,724
bad breath
1713
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,481
and back zits.
1714
01:22:53,520 --> 01:22:55,488
Please.
1715
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,688
Do you understand me?
1716
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,524
Yes, I understand you.
1717
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,206
Do you understand me?
1718
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,726
Yes, I understand you!
1719
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,809
Then walk away before I change my mind.
1720
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:08,291
Thank you very much.
1721
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:16,168
- Hey, man, look at him!
-What just happened?
1722
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,163
Lenny!Lenny!Lenny!
1723
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,483
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1724
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:24,968
You get extra special hip-hop dance tonight.
1725
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,644
Word up.
1726
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,528
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1727
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:36,161
could you tell him that I'm here waiting
like we arranged?
1728
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,009
GUYS? Guys?
1729
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,002
Yeah, okay. Okay, I am a person!
1730
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,043
-That was awesome, by the way.
-Had to. Had to.
1731
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,531
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1732
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,204
He let you off the hook, didn't he?
1733
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:51,204
He did, he did, but I had to go with it.
1734
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,603
I can't believe it!
1735
01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,882
We hit the moron jackpot!
1736
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:05,249
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1737
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,810
Who are they?
1738
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,326
Brunson University frat guys.
1739
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1740
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,045
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1741
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,169
I tell you what is the matter.
1742
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:20,965
These old townies trashed our frat house!
1743
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,761
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1744
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:26,888
Yeah!
1745
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:29,964
They didn't do it.
1746
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:31,405
Me do it.
1747
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:33,767
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
1748
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,325
Who's Z-Dog?
1749
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:36,686
We know they're trying to get back at us
1750
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,007
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1751
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:42,562
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming
at the quarry since I was eight years old.
1752
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,081
Apparently, everybody in this crap town
1753
01:24:45,160 --> 01:24:47,970
has been swimming there
since they were eight years old.
1754
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:52,170
I guess nobody wants to leave this dump
because they're too busy sucking!
1755
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:58,926
We'll finish later.
1756
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:00,445
-You promise?
-I promise.
1757
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,329
- Okay.
-Hey, smart guy!
1758
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,562
Lenny Feder left this town,
1759
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:07,689
moved to Hollywood, made big bucks,
1760
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,161
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
1761
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,241
ever will.
1762
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:12,526
But guess what?
1763
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:14,244
He came back here.
1764
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:19,042
'Cause this beautiful town is his home.
And it always will be his home.
1765
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,365
Well, that was just a moving testament
to this community, bro!
1766
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:32,604
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
1767
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:37,288
We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!
1768
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,287
Fellas, we may be old.
1769
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,640
We may be smelly.
1770
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,722
We may have a penis.
1771
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,571
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
1772
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:57,530
is gonna be you spoiled,
1773
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,531
privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
1774
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:02,806
You hear that?
1775
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,281
Now, let's get busy!
1776
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:27,486
They're dancing on the ceiling
1777
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:30,211
They're dancing on the floor
1778
01:26:30,280 --> 01:26:33,363
People everywhere coming through the door
1779
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:36,523
They know there's a party going on
1780
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:47,690
Come on, son!
1781
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:48,727
You ain't tough!
1782
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!
1783
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,369
Yeah, Braden! Yeah! Damn!
1784
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:56,970
You want this?
1785
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,606
Sir, please stop it!
1786
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,921
That's not a sir! That's a woman!
1787
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:07,128
My woman!
1788
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:09,402
Come on, babe.
1789
01:27:09,480 --> 01:27:12,723
I know you're gonna lose control
1790
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,040
You can do
1791
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,043
Oh, you're so hot.
1792
01:27:19,560 --> 01:27:22,370
I know it's cold outside
1793
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,442
Don't bust my face!
1794
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.
1795
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,688
I will protect you for the rest of your life.
1796
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,843
Okay, blow dryer boy.
1797
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,606
Oh, God, no!
1798
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:41,728
No! No!
1799
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,802
Yeah! Yeah!
1800
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:45,609
Having a good anniversary, babe?
1801
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,011
Honey, the best.
1802
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:52,931
I can't breathe.
1803
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,126
Choking me!
1804
01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:05,926
Yeah!
1805
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,809
We did it. We did it, man.
1806
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:08,847
Yeah.
1807
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,365
We make a good team.
1808
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:11,965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1809
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:40,647
I know it's cold outside
1810
01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:43,564
Come on, babe, I'll keep you satisfied
1811
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:44,766
Boomer!
1812
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,086
What's going on?
1813
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:47,605
This!
1814
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,490
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1815
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:51,766
His name's not Boomer!
1816
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,126
It's Gary.
1817
01:28:54,200 --> 01:28:55,361
It's Greg.
1818
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,647
Greg.
1819
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:06,961
Oh, my God! Did you see his head?
1820
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:08,769
He's got a... He's bald!
1821
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:12,208
I got a wild one!
1822
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:15,684
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1823
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:17,808
Nobody noogies my brother!
1824
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:22,081
My brain! My brain!
1825
01:29:26,720 --> 01:29:28,484
B.U.!
1826
01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,050
Hey, man! I had that one.
1827
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,724
I know you did, big brother.
1828
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:33,882
-Get out of here!
-Don't hit me!
1829
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,884
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1830
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,930
Flippy-boy.
Yeah, you want to flip your way out of this?
1831
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:42,725
Too slow, old man.
1832
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1833
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,566
Look who's back up, baby.
1834
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,688
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
1835
01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:52,046
All right.
1836
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:53,565
We're gonna throw some legs, huh?
1837
01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:55,324
You want to throw some legs, huh?
1838
01:29:57,320 --> 01:29:59,163
Boom!
1839
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:00,969
That just happened.
1840
01:30:01,760 --> 01:30:04,127
What, were you raised by ninjas?
1841
01:30:05,600 --> 01:30:07,284
Congratulations.
1842
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:08,361
You won the fight.
1843
01:30:08,440 --> 01:30:09,441
Here's your prize.
1844
01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:14,408
Thanks, little girl. It looks just like you.
1845
01:30:17,040 --> 01:30:18,690
It's a monkey!
1846
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,321
Look at me!
1847
01:30:20,400 --> 01:30:23,370
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1848
01:30:27,440 --> 01:30:29,841
Good night.
1849
01:30:32,520 --> 01:30:34,682
Come on, guys! We got to get out!
1850
01:30:34,760 --> 01:30:36,125
Let's g0!
1851
01:30:38,160 --> 01:30:39,924
Lenny! Baby.
1852
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:41,764
- Baby, are you all right?
-I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1853
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:46,284
I'm here for you, Leonard. I'm here for you.
1854
01:30:46,360 --> 01:30:48,328
Who... Who are you?
1855
01:30:48,400 --> 01:30:49,890
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1856
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:54,491
Oops, sorry, I kicked your barrette.
1857
01:30:58,280 --> 01:31:00,442
Sorry, honey!
1858
01:31:02,400 --> 01:31:05,563
You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there.
1859
01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:07,051
This is just like high school.
1860
01:31:07,120 --> 01:31:11,011
Get drunk, get in a fight,
wind up back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1861
01:31:11,080 --> 01:31:13,082
Except for the drunk part, Mommy.
1862
01:31:15,400 --> 01:31:19,041
All you guys together brings back
so many memories.
1863
01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:22,251
-Dickie, is this you and Lenny?
-Let's see.
1864
01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:24,562
Who... Who are you?
1865
01:31:24,640 --> 01:31:25,926
-Yep.
-What happened?
1866
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,520
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
1867
01:31:28,600 --> 01:31:29,886
We kind of drifted apart, right?
1868
01:31:29,960 --> 01:31:32,122
Yeah. He was in those smart classes.
1869
01:31:32,200 --> 01:31:33,690
I was in the other classes.
1870
01:31:36,320 --> 01:31:37,651
Hey, who's this guy?
1871
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,683
-Anybody remember him?
-Who is that?
1872
01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:40,841
Wow, what happened to that kid?
1873
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,206
He's still here.
1874
01:31:45,560 --> 01:31:47,927
Why do I know my new kid's
gonna end up looking like that?
1875
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:50,321
-You're having a baby, Lenny?
-Yeah.
1876
01:31:50,440 --> 01:31:51,930
Yeah, so I'm told, Mrs. Lamonsoff.
1877
01:31:52,120 --> 01:31:53,770
A surprise, huh?
1878
01:31:53,840 --> 01:31:55,171
Yes.
1879
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,887
People today try to plan things out so much.
1880
01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:02,169
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
1881
01:32:02,240 --> 01:32:04,481
than one you planned for.
1882
01:32:05,120 --> 01:32:08,567
Someday, Lenny, you won't even remember
what life was like with just three children.
1883
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,883
You think we wanted Eric?
1884
01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:13,450
-He was an accident.
-Mama.
1885
01:32:13,520 --> 01:32:16,649
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
1886
01:32:16,760 --> 01:32:18,888
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
1887
01:32:18,960 --> 01:32:21,042
I'm turning the page.
1888
01:32:21,120 --> 01:32:22,565
Finish the story!
1889
01:32:33,040 --> 01:32:36,203
Officer Dante's passed out on our lawn.
1890
01:32:36,320 --> 01:32:39,802
I know. I saw him trying to arrest an anthill.
1891
01:32:42,880 --> 01:32:44,962
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
1892
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:50,049
It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow.
1893
01:32:50,120 --> 01:32:51,360
Okay.
1894
01:32:51,440 --> 01:32:54,762
Okay, you go to sleep.
I'll make this between me and the baby.
1895
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,208
Hello in there.
1896
01:33:04,640 --> 01:33:06,244
This is your daddy speaking.
1897
01:33:08,080 --> 01:33:11,368
I just want to tell you welcome to the family,
1898
01:33:11,480 --> 01:33:14,882
and I love you very, very, very much.
1899
01:33:15,200 --> 01:33:19,046
I really don't care if you're a boy or girl.
1900
01:33:20,000 --> 01:33:22,970
I just need you to promise me one thing.
1901
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:27,200
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
1902
01:33:27,280 --> 01:33:30,011
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
1903
01:33:30,360 --> 01:33:31,327
Hey-
1904
01:33:31,400 --> 01:33:33,323
I knew that was coming.
1905
01:33:35,240 --> 01:33:38,801
To be honest,
I don't need no stinking ballet teacher.
1906
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,884
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
1907
01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:43,200
your mommy.
1908
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:47,362
Are you saying sweet things to me
because you want to fool around?
1909
01:33:47,680 --> 01:33:50,445
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
1910
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:53,689
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
1911
01:33:54,040 --> 01:33:55,804
But let's do this quick,
1912
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:57,723
we have a big day tomorrow, okay?
1913
01:33:57,800 --> 01:33:59,006
Absolutely.
1914
01:33:59,080 --> 01:34:00,844
Watch your head in there.
1915
01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:09,321
Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
1916
01:34:09,400 --> 01:34:12,563
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
1917
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:19,768
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
1918
01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:21,484
Lenny, grow up!
1919
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:23,927
I did it for the baby!
1919
01:34:24,305 --> 01:34:30,623
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