1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:38,959
So, tell me.

3
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,359
Tell you what?

4
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,799
About last night.

5
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,999
So, I go to that new spot
on Sixth and Main, right?

6
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,119
Right.

7
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:48,199
- Nice atmosphere, beautiful women, Danny.
- Shit.

8
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,119
Why are you saying "shit"?
I asked you to come.

9
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,479
I see this chick, cute girl, tight.

10
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,799
- Model tight?
- No. No, no, no, no.

11
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,959
I'm not fucking with them
anorexic girls no more, dude.

12
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,959
It's like fucking a 10-speed
bike with daddy issues.

13
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,159
True.

14
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,559
This girl, she's put together, man, I mean,
nice titties, nice ass, whole package.

15
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,783
But, I think I kind of know her.

16
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,228
Hey, my name is Bernie.

17
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,359
Good for you.

18
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,661
You know Angela.

19
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,319
- Yeah, I know Ang, too.
- Right, Bernie.

20
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,621
Yeah.

21
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,159
Yeah, you used to date Angela.

22
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,239
Date?

23
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,350
No, I was fucking the shit out
of Angela, that's what that was.

24
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,630
You got those edges nappy, huh?

25
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,559
<i>So, at this point, I'm intrigued.</i>

26
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:33,359
Nothing makes a guy sexier than if
he screwed over a chick you hate.

27
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,079
- It's like revenge by association.
- Exactly.

28
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,559
So, this Bernie's got a pair. It's
ladies' night, I'm down, we get drunk.

29
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,519
- You buy?
- Of course, I buy. What am I, a dick?

30
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,519
She gets drunk, I get drunk,
we go back to my place, right?

31
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,199
<i>Listen to me, Danny,
this chick was insane.</i>

32
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,719
But he gets too drunk.

33
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,879
See, you always let
them drink too much.

34
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,199
No. It is not my fault he got...

35
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,599
Whisky-dick? Shame on you.

36
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,319
Dude, I had to keep up with her
drinking or else I look like a pussy.

37
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,919
It's not my fault my friend
downstairs couldn't keep it together.

38
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,719
You got two ways to
look at whisky-dick.

39
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,279
The con is that your dick is
functionally dysfunctional.

40
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,119
The pro is that your dick gets extra special
attention for his extra special needs.

41
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,239
How much extra special attention
did she have to give you?

42
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,279
It was heaven. She was down
there at least 20 minutes.

43
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,479
Any longer than that and
you might as well charge.

44
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,359
So, I'm pulling out all the stops.
I'm talking dirty, I do handwork...

45
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,239
I put on a goddamn slow jam.
I mean, I am impressing myself.

46
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:29,119
I am like an EMT crew
reviving a car crash victim.

47
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,788
Do you know what I mean? I'm like a
hairdryer, I am blowing so hard.

48
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:37,759
But, I must admit, it was
well worth the wait.

49
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,279
Really?

50
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,439
Impressive, but not threatening.

51
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,079
It's like the John
Legend of penises.

52
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,428
- That is impressive.
- Very.

53
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,279
So I'm down there and it is the...

54
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,559
Best head this year.

55
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,879
What?

56
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,599
Thorough, paid attention to detail,
took pride in her work, Danny.

57
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,279
Did she do your taxes as well?

58
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,719
Snarky, but I'll allow it.

59
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,279
Only reason why is because
you been crying in your beer

60
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,399
since crazy Alison left
your ass over a year ago.

61
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,599
I'm taking my time.

62
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,879
You know what your problem is?
You're too damn good-looking, man.

63
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,919
What?

64
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,839
See, guys like me gotta work a
lot harder than guys like you.

65
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,759
Guys like you don't appreciate the
wealth of asses at their disposal.

66
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,199
Best thing that could happen to your
face is an industrial accident.

67
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,799
- Whatever.
- I'm serious.

68
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,959
Dude, you need to go meet
you a nice-looking female,

69
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,959
take her back to your
place, turn her out!

70
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,079
Make her feel things.

71
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,599
You made Joan feel things?

72
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,159
I made her feel like good and
evil hung in the balance,

73
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:30,599
like we were at peace talks and her
orgasms were the end of genocide.

74
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,679
I saved the world
last night, Danny.

75
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,719
- We appreciate it, brother.
- You're welcome.

76
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,067
Then she was like...

77
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,359
And I'm like...

78
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,105
Stop. Stop, stop.

79
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,665
Yeah, I'm okay. Never mind,
never mind, keep going.

80
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,869
Stop. Stop, stop. Stop, stop.

81
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,839
Motherfucker, I said stop!
Are you deaf, Negro?

82
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,519
And I'm like,
"Well, bitch, which is it?"

83
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,599
I got a charley horse.

84
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,799
Were your legs up around your...

85
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,359
Obviously, which is so annoying,
because I was just about to...

86
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,279
Come on.

87
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,279
I'm like, finish your yoga
so we can do it again.

88
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,239
- Right, but the headline there is "again."
- Yes.

89
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,359
We had to start all over.

90
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,839
So if it was bad sex, why are
we hanging out with this guy?

91
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,199
It wasn't bad, it was imperfect.

92
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,319
Isn't that the same thing?

93
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,079
Heads up, Little Miss Overachiever.

94
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,919
When it comes to sex, if you get it right
the first time, you got nowhere to go.

95
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,221
Come on.

96
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,999
- Wait, there he is.
- The other one's cute.

97
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,507
That must be his
"this isn't a date" friend.

98
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:28,879
Hey!

99
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,545
Come on.

100
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,879
- Hey.
- Hey.

101
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,359
What's going on?

102
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,959
All right, Well...

103
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,039
What do you think?
It's a nice place, right?

104
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,519
It's okay. It's a bar.

105
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,199
Hey, I mean, if it's a bar, that means
we supposed to be getting drunk.

106
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,399
As a matter of fact, this next
round is on you two ladies.

107
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,359
Charming. This is my
roommate, Debbie Sullivan.

108
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,039
How you doing? Bernie Litko.

109
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,342
- Good to meet you.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

110
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,639
This is my guy, this is Danny
Martin. He works with me.

111
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,669
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

112
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,839
Hi, Danny.

113
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,399
Shit. I'm sorry,
Joan, this is Danny.

114
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,599
This is who I was just
telling you about.

115
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,519
Yeah, I heard a lot about you.

116
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,479
So, what do you guys do?

117
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,799
Restaurant supply.

118
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,479
- Exactly.
- Wow.

119
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,239
That sounds like you guys are
either waiters or in the Mafia.

120
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:17,159
All right, sweetie, I'm gonna need you to
take these unsolicited attacks down a notch.

121
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,862
Save the crazy for later,
when I got use for that shit.

122
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,701
Okay.

123
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,148
Damn! Now, wait a minute.

124
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,906
Let me help you.

125
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,263
You see this shit?

126
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,221
- Got me one.
- Okay.

127
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,863
Thank you.

128
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,239
Okay. I'm gonna take it.

129
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,030
I want it! I want it!

130
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,627
- We gotta take another shot.
- It's here!

131
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,999
Hey, come on. You sure you
don't want another round?

132
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,079
- I'm fine, I got my drink.
- Come on, shots.

133
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,799
- She never goes out unless I drag her.
- That's not true.

134
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,759
It is true, baby. She only sleeps
with guys at her advertising firm.

135
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,759
- What?
- It's so sad.

136
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,559
- She has to get it in at work.
- Also not true.

137
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,999
You're not by yourself. Let me tell
you something. He just as sad.

138
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,919
Yawn-fest over here,
he ain't been out

139
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,239
since his ex-girlfriend Alison
broke up with him over a year ago.

140
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,439
Easy.

141
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,439
That's because he felt emasculated.
I mean, she left him.

142
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,519
That happens a lot,
don't be embarrassed.

143
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,159
Baby, he should hook up with Debbie,
so they could be boring together!

144
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,399
- Y'all should hook up and do this.
- He should hook up with Deb.

145
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,319
Oh, yeah. I wanna do that.

146
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:24,799
- You wanna do that?
- I wanna do that.

147
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,079
Let me tell you something,
we will never be boring.

148
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:34,389
<i>Me and you will never be boring.</i>

149
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,839
Public place. Get a room!

150
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,279
That's what I mean. Boring!

151
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,867
- I'm about to boo you.
- It's okay, fine.

152
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,349
Baby, I'm gonna go to
that place where you pee.

153
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,985
- Want me to go with you?
- No, I'm fine, I'm fine!

154
00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,079
I'm about to go to that
place where she pees, too.

155
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,159
All right.

156
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,541
Here I go.

157
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,471
Shit, yeah, I am.

158
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,479
Hey, hey. I'm sorry I said
that shit about Alison.

159
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,599
- Just go.
- I shouldn't have said that.

160
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,519
- Please.
- I'm gonna beat this pussy up.

161
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,060
Go, please!

162
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,420
Wow.

163
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,599
I'm not really boring.

164
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,199
Yeah, me neither.

165
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,919
I just pretend to be, so that
she can be the crazy one.

166
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:28,319
This may be the worst date I've ever
been on, and it's not even my date.

167
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,639
I've definitely had worse.

168
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,159
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

169
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,559
- That's why I don't go out much.
- It's not worth it, right?

170
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,751
Why even try something when 95%
of the time it's just an epic failure?

171
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:43,030
Because that other 5% can
be pretty mind-blowing.

172
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,399
Turn around! Put your hand up here.

173
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,399
I don't feel like a lady!

174
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,159
Listen. Listen.

175
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,399
- I'm a flower.
- Okay, you're my flower.

176
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,679
Okay, you know what you're gonna do?
You're gonna sit on me.

177
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,119
- That's it!
- Okay.

178
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,239
- I'm going to sit on you, okay. Okay.
- Come here.

179
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,159
- Oh, my God, what is that?
- You flushed it!

180
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,622
You can turn that thing off.

181
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,559
It's work.

182
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,879
I should go. I have to get
up early in the morning.

183
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,386
Can I walk you out?

184
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,945
Yeah, sure.

185
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,501
<i>Are you serious?</i>

186
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,919
Yep.

187
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:25,839
So, you lived in L.A. six years and
you've never been to a Dodgers game?

188
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,301
Nope.

189
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,460
I have killer seats. I'll take you.

190
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,023
Are you asking me out?

191
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,621
Yeah.

192
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,189
- Yeah.
- Debbie?

193
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,159
Deborah Sullivan.

194
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,999
- Hello, Terrell. It's been a while.
- Six months.

195
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,879
You're too good to return my calls?

196
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,959
Bitch move, Deb.

197
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,999
It's okay. He's taken one too
many hits to the head, clearly.

198
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,759
- So, this you now?
- This is me.

199
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,439
Suit yourself. Life is short.

200
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,901
And so is he.

201
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,279
- He's corny.
- Yeah.

202
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,119
- Remember that 95% epic failure?
- Yeah.

203
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,959
- Exhibit A.
- Really?

204
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,639
Yep.

205
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,159
I'm sorry, was that weird?

206
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,701
No, I'll be your fake
boyfriend whenever you want.

207
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,199
But I wouldn't do this.

208
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,471
All right, so, what would you
do if you were my boyfriend?

209
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,510
- It's nice, right?
- Very, very.

210
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,306
What else?

211
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,825
Well...

212
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,388
I've wanted to put my
hand here all night.

213
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,381
Then what?

214
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:56,381
Then I'd probably lean
in, kind of like this.

215
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,227
You don't have to rush off.

216
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,661
Hi.

217
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,159
Hi.

218
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,224
I do, actually.

219
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,399
It's been a slice of heaven,
really, but I have to go home now.

220
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,679
- Let me turn the light on.
- No, no, no! No need to do that.

221
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,631
- Why?
- It's a rule of mine.

222
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,147
You got a lot of rules, lady.

223
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,141
You need this?

224
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,864
There it is, yeah.

225
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,501
Thanks for that.

226
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,746
Should I walk you out?

227
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,781
No, we both know what happened
the last time you did that.

228
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,500
That kind of makes me wanna
walk you out even more, though.

229
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,507
Great. Thanks!

230
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,879
I can't believe I slept
with him on the first date.

231
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,159
It wasn't even your date.
It was mine. Tell me everything.

232
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,385
His eyes, his body, his mouth.

233
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,039
He didn't!

234
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,069
You lucky bitch!

235
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,639
- Bernie doesn't?
- Of course not.

236
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,639
- Why not?
- Well, you ask him.

237
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,559
Joan, where the bathroom at, baby?

238
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,879
Bernie?

239
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,639
Why don't you like cunnilingus?

240
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,420
I don't even know who the bitch is.
What are you talking about?

241
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,141
Hey.

242
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,669
I should go in there right now and
force him to wear the thigh muffs.

243
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,346
Yeah.

244
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,462
Just remember, everything is covered
under a full service warranty.

245
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,159
Food handler and VIP branch.

246
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,827
Temperature and cut resistant.

247
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,839
Hey, can I call you
right back? Thanks.

248
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,039
Yo.

249
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,599
Hey. You cover for
me with the Hobbit?

250
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,679
Yeah, I told him you
went to the dentist.

251
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,839
You might want to actually brush
your teeth to make it believable.

252
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,679
That's funny, Danny.
That's real funny.

253
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,519
Hey! Let's start
this day off right.

254
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,039
'Sup, boy?

255
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,639
- I'm shaking your hand.
- Why?

256
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,599
'Cause I'm congratulating you
on growing your dick back.

257
00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,679
You banged Debbie, man.

258
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,799
How do you know this?

259
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,199
'Cause she told me after I
banged her this morning.

260
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,759
You see I'm wearing the same stuff.

261
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,879
I'm lying, dude. Your girl,
my girl, they roommates.

262
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,239
- She's not my girl.
- You want her to be your girl.

263
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,319
She's not my girl!

264
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,799
I dare you to look at me with those
little icy, baby blue eyes of yours

265
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,199
and tell me that you don't
want her to be your girl.

266
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,359
I just met her. It was nothing
but about last night.

267
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,159
- Did you text her, Danny?
- I don't have her number.

268
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:20,159
You're gonna get it. After all that nasty
stuff you did last night, she gonna find you.

269
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,399
Hey, what do you think of her?

270
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,039
You just didn't care and now you
want to know what I think of her?

271
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,061
I think she looks good, I think she's
smart, dude, straight-up wife material.

272
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,710
Or she could be Alison
all over again.

273
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,079
Now, I'm gonna be a good friend and
pretend you didn't just say that.

274
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,759
I'm gonna act like I didn't see you check
your Facebook for friend requests.

275
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,159
Hey, buddies, dudes, compadres.

276
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,399
Bernie, corporate office guys are here.
They did not buy the dentist thing.

277
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,999
So should I tell them you were...

278
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,223
I was eating pussy
all night, Keller.

279
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,625
Wow, hey, nice.

280
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,919
- Why is corporate here?
- Asset review.

281
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,461
They just showed up. I was
like, "What, no phone call?"

282
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,479
They were like, "if you try to be funny
again, we're gonna rip your throat out."

283
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,067
Which is, like, so them, you know?

284
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,439
Anyway, Bernie, luckily,
you're prepared, right?

285
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,919
- Sure am, boss.
- Let's do it.

286
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,302
Follow you, my fearless leader.

287
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,511
Go get 'em.

288
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:11,959
Really?

289
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,342
Clean it up, bitch.
Stop, I'm playing.

290
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,986
Debbie, are you with us?

291
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,423
- Did you?
- Yeah.

292
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,079
Where you going, Danny?
Danny, what are you doing?

293
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,439
Are you gonna go see
your little fuck-buddy?

294
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,319
- Hey.
- I'm serious, don't go. Okay?

295
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,319
If you stay, I'll let
you see the taint.

296
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,799
- No.
- I wanna show it to you.

297
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,319
- Fuck, man, I gotta go!
- You gonna go look at Debbie's taint?

298
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,719
Yeah, it's much better than yours.

299
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,199
James has seen my taint!

300
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,501
You saw it.

301
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,541
Bernie!

302
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,679
- Well, it just depends on your monthly sales.
- Bernie...

303
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,679
- Where's Danny?
- I don't know, ask him.

304
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,119
I would if I could find the man.

305
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,319
<i>Debbie, where are you?</i>

306
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,679
I need one more teeth
cleaning for my log.

307
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,559
<i>Hey, if you're with
Danny, don't brush after,</i>

308
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,510
I need a challenge.

309
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,064
Okay, that's enough.
I will hurt you in this chair.

310
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,279
- There you go.
- Thank you, Case.

311
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,599
Thanks again for
covering my ass, Danny.

312
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,665
And I'll get you the last two
months next week. I promise.

313
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,319
Don't take this the wrong
way, I'm just curious.

314
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,199
Why can't you pay your bill?
You got customers.

315
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,239
Yeah, Casey, everybody's
inside drinking.

316
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,439
Yeah, but that doesn't
mean they're paying.

317
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,239
Why? Are you running tabs?
What is this, 1978?

318
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,039
Look, what do you want me to do?
They're my regulars.

319
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,199
- Get 'em MasterCards.
- It's tough times right now.

320
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,239
That's not your problem.

321
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,399
It is my problem.
These are my friends.

322
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,119
Casey, you gotta start looking
at these guys as your customers.

323
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,159
- Damn sure do, Case.
- That's your problem.

324
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,719
What is up with you? Did you
get back together with Alison?

325
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,639
- He's fucking this new chick.
- Good, I'm real happy for you.

326
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,439
Not for nothing, when
you were with Alison,

327
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,119
you weren't the coolest guy in
the world to hang around with.

328
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,559
Just saying.

329
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,039
Thanks again.

330
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,866
- Hey, you going to the movies tonight?
- I don't know.

331
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,119
Are you coming to the movies tonight,
or are you gonna flake again?

332
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,199
I don't know.

333
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,999
Why? Is Danny coming?

334
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,439
You know, it would be good for you
two to go out in public together

335
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,639
instead of being vampires.

336
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,399
I've never done the serious
relationship thing,

337
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,919
but I smell not ready all over him.

338
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,951
Well, maybe you're not
sniffing in the right places.

339
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,781
<i>Hello?</i>

340
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,639
<i>I'm sorry, I don't
mean to bother you.</i>

341
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,342
<i>You were the only house with the
lights on. I just lost control of my car.</i>

342
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,599
Whooped your ass, boy.
And I gave you a head start.

343
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,439
- Why you bail on me on Saturday?
- I was busy.

344
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,839
Doing what? Writing in your diary?

345
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,079
If you don't want to
deal with Debbie,

346
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,279
why don't you just stop putting
parts of you in parts of her?

347
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,599
- Do you have a problem with that?
- Actually, I do.

348
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,319
Okay, you not the one that's getting
an earful from Joan, man. I am!

349
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,639
Nothing makes you more unattractive than
your best friend dicking over her friend.

350
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,879
I'm not dicking Debbie over!

351
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,039
You're doing the fuck-buddy
dance right now.

352
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,599
- What?
- The fuck-buddy dance.

353
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,959
When you do that dance,
somebody gets hurt.

354
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,519
Nine times out of 10, it's the person
with the vagina and I'm telling you,

355
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,919
I'm not gonna be
fraternizing with the enemy.

356
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,279
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard you say,

357
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,279
- and you've said some stupid shit.
- It's not stupid.

358
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,839
You know what this is?
It's the Lando Calrissian effect.

359
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,559
I'm out here getting pussy in Cloud City,
giving Han Solo a run for his money.

360
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,279
Now when they find out that
I'm friends with Darth Vader,

361
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,359
know what's gonna happen?

362
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,679
I'm gonna get stuck in
the Millennium Falcon

363
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,079
with a racially offensive co-pilot.

364
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,269
It's the Star Wars
equivalent to castration.

365
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,479
Dude, you either get
in or you get out.

366
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,959
Fine, but I'm not the bad guy.

367
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,707
<i>You will be. You will be.</i>

368
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,359
Danny!

369
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,946
Hey.

370
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,065
Hi, stranger.

371
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,825
Told you I had great seats.

372
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,788
Yeah, these are great.

373
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,359
For you.

374
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,185
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

375
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,599
- There you go. Now you're ready.
- Is that good?

376
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,140
Now you're ready. Look at that.

377
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,319
Can't we move closer?

378
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,079
We could, but these are my seats.

379
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,860
Yeah, but those can be our seats.

380
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,039
Well, it doesn't
really work like that.

381
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,479
Why, are there seat cops?

382
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,039
These are my dad's seats.

383
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,388
He inherited them from his
dad, so it's a thing.

384
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,879
Yeah. You get it, right?

385
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,079
Yeah, I get it. I do.

386
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,839
These are great seats.

387
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:44,879
Good.

388
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:45,999
Where's Joan?

389
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,039
She's gonna meet us here.
Where's Bernie?

390
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,502
He said he's gonna meet us here.

391
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:54,919
- Right.
- Right.

392
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,239
Wait, so do they
know we set them up?

393
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,399
Yeah, baby. I mean,
they ain't stupid.

394
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,319
I know they're not stupid. I just...
I want them to work it out.

395
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,519
- Are you serious, do we still need these?
- Yes.

396
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,599
When's the last time
you got tested?

397
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,039
Tested? I don't know.
I was in college.

398
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,079
College? I am tested every
year at my Pap smear.

399
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,399
Bernie, you need to get tested.

400
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,279
Okay, first of all, do I wanna
know what a Pap smear is?

401
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,866
No.

402
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,388
- Take the test, I'll take the test.
- Thank you.

403
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,070
- Wait a minute. Give me a second!
- I'm...

404
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,959
That's it, it's on.

405
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,519
Wait, wait, no, it's not.

406
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,239
- See, this is what happened last time...
- It's on.

407
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,239
- It's on!
- Are you sure?

408
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,701
I'm... I know when it's on!

409
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:39,119
Now that I got this big old gift wrapped,
let's get it going while the tree is still up.

410
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,599
All right. Get on top.

411
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,599
I'm not getting on top.
You gotta get on top.

412
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,559
I got on top the last time.
I'm not getting on top.

413
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,279
No, that shit be fucking with
my knees. I'm not doing it.

414
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,599
- But you know my back is bad.
- Rock, paper, scissors.

415
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:49,759
Rock, paper, scissors,
the loser gets on top.

416
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:50,839
- All right. Fine.
- On three.

417
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,959
- Okay.
- Ready?

418
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,159
- One, two, three.
- One, two, three.

419
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,079
That's a tie. We gotta go side.
Lift your cheek up.

420
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,439
There you go, there
you go, baby. There it is.

421
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,346
That's what I'm talking about, baby!
Good defence, boy!

422
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,639
Nice play, get him at third,
get him at third! Got him!

423
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,159
- Did they win?
- What?

424
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,799
- Did they win?
- No, it was just a great fucking play.

425
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,879
Didn't you see that?

426
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,479
No, I blinked and then something
happened that made you dance.

427
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,479
That's the thing about this game,
you gotta stay in the moment. Right?

428
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,865
You can't worry about what's gonna happen,
right, otherwise you're gonna miss...

429
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,785
Miss the best part.

430
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,279
You know, she just needs
a little... Wait, push!

431
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,479
- Move your leg!
- Push!

432
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,119
I'll make a deal with you. You can talk
if you put the pillow under your stomach.

433
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,079
- Okay.
- Put it under your stomach.

434
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,559
Right there. Right there.
Don't move, don't move.

435
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,679
I got it! I got it! That's it!

436
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,550
- That's it. Game over!
- That's it!

437
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,879
My father used to bring
me here after every game.

438
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,319
Your dad brought you to a bar?

439
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,908
Casey's is more than just a bar.
I mean, just look around. It's rich.

440
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,999
Is there another room?

441
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,143
Stop, stop. Stop.

442
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,279
This place is like a
second home to me.

443
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:02,359
I've been coming
here since I was...

444
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,679
Since you could wrap your chubby
little fingers around a baseball.

445
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,839
- You used to be chubby! So cute.
- No, he's just...

446
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,999
That's really cute.

447
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,988
See, that's an entirely different story.
All right, I gotta go. I'll be back.

448
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,946
Sorry, pal.

449
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,666
You and his dad still friends?

450
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,507
No, he fucked me over.

451
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,668
Died of bone cancer 20 years ago.

452
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,239
Were you guys close?

453
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,079
Yeah. My best friend.

454
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,381
Really?

455
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,221
What?

456
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,279
Nothing.

457
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,279
- What?
- Just interesting.

458
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,150
What's interesting?

459
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,879
Danny has never brought a
lady into this bar before.

460
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,039
Really? I'm the first?

461
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,559
Swear on Jackie Robinson's grave.

462
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,719
Another first.

463
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,670
Well, that was good. I like that.

464
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,901
Wait. Wait, wait.

465
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,159
- You need to stretch or something?
- This isn't just sex, right?

466
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,639
Well, this is technically
sex, babe. Yes.

467
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,799
There's a couple variants of
this theme that we could do,

468
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,919
but for the most part, it's sex.

469
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,224
I know, but we mean something
to each other, right?

470
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,279
Yeah. What... Like, yes.

471
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,742
So, am I your girlfriend?

472
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,839
Damn!

473
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,869
Yeah, you my girlfriend!

474
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,519
- Really?
- Yes!

475
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,822
And you feel something for me?

476
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,981
Yes.

477
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,279
You do?

478
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,359
Yes.

479
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,519
You feel it?

480
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,719
I feel it.

481
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,639
- You feel it?
- Oh, God.

482
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,342
I feel something.
Hit me again, baby.

483
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,199
Bitch! What? Knock your damn
head off! That's my ear!

484
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,599
You told me to hit you again.

485
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,439
Yeah, I didn't say hit
me hard like that!

486
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,319
Did you have to call me a name?
You yelled at me.

487
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,439
I didn't mean to do it like that.
You hit me in my ear.

488
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,390
- I didn't know it was your ear...
- I can't hear you!

489
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,639
- I didn't know it was your fuckin' ear!
- Say it in the other fucking ear!

490
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,479
I'm sorry! I didn't mean
to hit you! I'm upset!

491
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,479
- Right. Goddamn!
- Okay.

492
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,279
- Call me your girlfriend again.
- All right. You're my girlfriend.

493
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,319
Give me a kiss!

494
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,479
You keep yelling at me.

495
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,599
- You're my girlfriend.
- I'm your...

496
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,231
I'm your girlfriend!

497
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,784
So, is it true?

498
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,159
Is what true?

499
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,304
You've never brought
a lady there before?

500
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,621
He told you that?

501
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,471
You're the first.

502
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,950
So, what now?

503
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,679
- When's your birthday?
- December fifth.

504
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,984
- Parents still together?
- Divorced when I was 13.

505
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,199
How about you?

506
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,119
It's just my mom.

507
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:57,663
She's in D.C. She's gonna retire
as a school teacher, so...

508
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,759
Only child?

509
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,141
Yeah.

510
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,839
Why do I feel like
I'm being quizzed,

511
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,188
and if I get something
wrong, we're gonna break up?

512
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,663
Did you just confirm
that we're dating?

513
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,719
Guess I let the cat out of the bag.

514
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,502
I think the cat's been out of the bag and
wandering the room for some time now.

515
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,541
I love this.

516
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,719
What annoys you most?

517
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,863
Amusement parks.

518
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,239
What? Do you also hate America?

519
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,959
I can't stand the concept
of organised fun.

520
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,679
You know, it's like, have fun now!
You know, do it now!

521
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:52,879
It's like New Year's Eve, you know?

522
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,159
Resolution now! Better life now!

523
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,639
Absolutely not. New Year's is
awesome. You're just stupid.

524
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,159
- What? You're stupid.
- Your face is stupid.

525
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,519
- Your penis is stupid.
- My what?

526
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,479
- Your penis...
- Is what?

527
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:04,799
Anytime I can give you a hand.

528
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,839
- I love this movie.
- Yeah, I love this movie, too.

529
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,119
You like chick-flicks?

530
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,399
It's not a chick-flick.
This is a dude's movie.

531
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,599
- Chick.
- Dude.

532
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,919
- Chick. Chick. Dude.
- Dude.

533
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,079
- Chick.
- See?

534
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,860
Shit. You fucking... Okay, okay.

535
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,945
I see.

536
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,119
I don't want this to end.

537
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,759
I hate Sunday afternoons.

538
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,427
It's like, countdown to reality.

539
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,839
I normally play marathon sessions
of <i>All-Star Battle Royale.</i>

540
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,871
I usually masturbate and
watch old episodes of House.

541
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,061
Yep.

542
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,302
- That's good.
- You like that?

543
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,270
I don't even want
to check my phone.

544
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,105
Fuck it. We'll do it together.

545
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,079
Count of three.

546
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,747
One, two, three.

547
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,479
- Shit.
- Shit.

548
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,919
Bernie Litko is an asshole!
And I liked him. I really liked him.

549
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,159
I was so into him.

550
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,639
And now I hope he gets hit by a car

551
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,199
and doesn't die, but his
dick gets paralysed.

552
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,799
And he can only have sex through
a series of hand signals.

553
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,102
Slow down. Slow down.
What happened?

554
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,359
Excuse me. You can't drink in here.

555
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:16,999
Alcohol only after 6:00 p.m.

556
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,839
Well, isn't it after
6:00 p.m. in Korea?

557
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,399
I don't know. I'll call
my grandmother in China

558
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,639
and ask her if she
knows any Koreans.

559
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,679
Nice.

560
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,959
Bitch.

561
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,900
- Did she just call me a bitch?
- Stop it!

562
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,519
- He broke...
- Up with me.

563
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,239
- Get out of here.
- Here's the thing.

564
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,639
I explained to her, I said, technically,
we're not even boyfriend and girlfriend,

565
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,839
so, technically, you
can't break up with me.

566
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,359
Did she give you a reason for not
technically breaking up with you?

567
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:42,559
She's a woman, Danny. I mean, she
bitched about a few minor things.

568
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,199
See, my parents...

569
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,559
Are coming to town and I'm
like, "I want to meet them."

570
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,799
And he's like, "No way."

571
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,159
And I'm like, "Why not?" And he goes,
"Because you're not Jewish."

572
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,879
- He's...
- Jewish? How did I not know that?

573
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,199
A, because I'm not.

574
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,919
And B, because when you and I were fucking,
you never asked to meet my parents.

575
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,039
True.

576
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,279
And, so what?
I dropped the Jew-bomb.

577
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,039
She can't say anything about it.
If she does, she's racist.

578
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,959
Bernie, dropping the Jew-bomb after
months of fucking her? Real mature.

579
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,759
Don't do that, Danny.
Don't judge me.

580
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,959
I like Joan. I think
Joan is great in bed.

581
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,039
I think the girl's ass should be
worshipped by indigenous peoples.

582
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,319
But when you start talking about
girlfriend and boyfriend,

583
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,759
and meeting the parents,
it's exit time for me.

584
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,940
Weren't you the one that
said get in or get out?

585
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,399
Part of getting in, genius,
is knowing when to get...

586
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,279
You're not listening.

587
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,999
I had to break up with him
because I'm not Jewish.

588
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,239
What kind of weak-ass man...

589
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,559
Hold up, hold up, hold up. I thought
you said he broke up with you.

590
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,239
He did. Because
I did the only thing

591
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,399
a red-blooded woman can
do in that situation.

592
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,599
I forced an ultimatum. You choose me,
or you choose your family and heritage.

593
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,959
And he chose 3,000 years
of beautiful tradition.

594
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,079
Can you believe that asshole?

595
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,079
- How's Bernie?
- Fine. How's Joan?

596
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,879
- Fine. How's work?
- Good. You?

597
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,479
- Great.
- I'm hungry, woman. Let's go.

598
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,559
There it is.

599
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,180
You know, you could really use
a dining room table in here.

600
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,959
Oh, my God. Someone stole
my dining room table.

601
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,759
And a dining room. Holy shit.

602
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,279
I'm serious. What do you do
when you have people come over?

603
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,359
I don't have people over.

604
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:09,231
- Hello. What am I?
- Special.

605
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,021
Thank you.

606
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,546
Come here.

607
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,639
I thought about you all day.

608
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,141
- I thought about me all day, too.
- You're such a dick.

609
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,319
Been wearing that backpack for
longer than three weeks now.

610
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,079
You're officially a lesbian.

611
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,639
Some of us don't live here or
roll out of bed looking perfect.

612
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,279
You do.

613
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,519
- Thank you.
- Good morning.

614
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,639
Good morning.

615
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,271
Coming back tonight?

616
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,519
I gotta go by my place first, get
some more clothes for tomorrow.

617
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,279
You coming back tomorrow night?
And the night after that?

618
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,239
Yep. I am. Why? What's wrong?

619
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,740
Well, you're just always here.

620
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,079
Okay.

621
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,999
So, leave some stuff.
Take a drawer.

622
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,839
A drawer?

623
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,719
A whole drawer for little
old me? Really, Danny?

624
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:05,959
Yeah.

625
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,621
You sure? It's kind of a big deal.

626
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,439
Keys.

627
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,319
A drawer and keys?

628
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,199
Somebody pinch me. Really.

629
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,982
Keep talking that shit and I will
make sure you are late for work.

630
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,159
You know what?
I knew it. I knew it.

631
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,399
I knew this would happen. I knew
you would move in with this guy!

632
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,479
I just feel that adults
don't have roommates.

633
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:42,879
They live with their
significant others.

634
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,479
So, I am now suddenly a child because
you found a guy you think you like?

635
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,479
- No, but Danny and I talked about it...
- For what?

636
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,159
Five minutes in bed?

637
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,159
Joan, I'm giving you two months' extra
rent until you find someone else.

638
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,039
I didn't think you were one of
those girls who drops her friends

639
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,679
the second she gets regular dick.

640
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,719
Nice. So, let me get this straight.

641
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,759
I finally meet someone
that I really care about,

642
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,359
and you think that I
should force a breakup,

643
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,079
sit around stuffing my face
and complain constantly.

644
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,279
I'm down if you are.

645
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,519
If you want your 30s to
be a blur of parties,

646
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,999
punctuated by teeth cleanings,
that's great. That's your life.

647
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,919
I just want something different.
That means being spontaneous.

648
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,079
You know what?
You are such a wild card.

649
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,544
That's why you're packing a week
before the U-Haul gets here, huh, Deb?

650
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,668
Great. You know what?
Go, go! Just go!

651
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,759
I give it two months.

652
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,701
Three, tops! And this
is my shit, damn it!

653
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,879
When I said get in or get out, I didn't mean
go put a loaded gun to your damn head.

654
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,239
- There's nothing loaded gun about this.
- What are you talking about?

655
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,959
We're great together, all right?
This is just the next step.

656
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,759
Off a cliff? It's not funny, man.
Like you're laughing.

657
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,479
Dude, do you think it's about to be free
blowjobs for the rest of your life?

658
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,319
Is that what you're thinking?
That's not the case, man.

659
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,239
You don't even get it.
Your life is over.

660
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,959
No more going out all night.
You understand that? That's done.

661
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,479
One-night stands? Over.

662
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,479
Yo, do you hear that? I hear something.
Where's it coming from? I don't know...

663
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,799
It's coming from right here.
It's the nail hitting the damn coffin.

664
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,910
You don't even get it.
Your life is over, dude.

665
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,988
I know she just saw me.
Hey, sweet pea.

666
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:20,741
Excuse me?

667
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,261
Don't call me sweet pea.

668
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,639
And also... Fuck off.

669
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,942
All right, babe. I'll just...

670
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,199
You need to wipe that
damn smirk off your face.

671
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,439
You'll be me in T-minus
two months. You hear me?

672
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,159
- Right on.
- Will you stop with the hands?

673
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,666
What's your problem?

674
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,319
Hey, Joan, listen.

675
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,463
- I know this must suck for you...
- Bite me!

676
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,999
Blow me!

677
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,439
See what I'm saying? I ain't
never disrespect you like that.

678
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:56,479
Joan!

679
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,067
Miss that? Miss it like
having a growth removed!

680
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:16,759
I wanna talk to you, man.

681
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:21,199
All that stuff I was saying to you
about her potentially being Alison,

682
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,399
I didn't mean it, man.
I'm seeing a difference in you.

683
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,039
And I feel like it's
because of her.

684
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,239
I'm kind of, like, jealous.
A little bit.

685
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,039
- I'm really happy for you, Danny.
- Really?

686
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,342
Fuck, no! This is stupid!

687
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,308
"Really? Are you really happy?"

688
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,879
I think it looks pretty. Pillows are
pretty. And, you know, curtains and...

689
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,199
We don't really need curtains,
'cause, you know, we have shades.

690
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,399
- Yeah, no. Decorative. No, we do.
- I don't need this many pillows.

691
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,319
I just wanna get rid of all of them.
See? What are you doing?

692
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,190
Okay. All right.

693
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,100
Wow, what have you been up to?

694
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,759
Do you like it? I mean, if not, the
salesman said that I can send it back.

695
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:08,999
A dining room table?

696
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,224
Yeah. Just in time
for Thanksgiving.

697
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:13,759
- Thanksgiving?
- Yeah.

698
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,279
I was thinking we could invite some of our
friends over for Thanksgiving dinner.

699
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,079
Since we're cohabitating now.

700
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,399
It's my favourite holiday.

701
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,039
So, what do you think?

702
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,479
Do you like it? Be honest.

703
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,079
- You did great.
- I did?

704
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,542
- You did really great.
- I did, didn't I?

705
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,039
Hope you're hungry. I ordered
a large pizza. Pepperoni.

706
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,751
Okay.

707
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,639
How long ago did you
order this pizza?

708
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:39,959
Why?

709
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,864
Wondering how much time we had.

710
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,191
Oh, my God. Where is he?
I'm starving.

711
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,863
- There he is.
- Perfect.

712
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,999
I'm hungry as a
motherfucker. Let's go.

713
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,879
- Looking for these?
- Yeah.

714
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:54,959
Yeah.

715
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:56,599
- No, you don't need them.
- So I go to the door naked?

716
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,919
- Yeah, go to the door like that.
- Come on, the pizza's getting cold.

717
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,839
I won't answer the door naked.
Can I get my underwear, please?

718
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:01,999
Come on, I dare you.

719
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,119
- You what?
- I dare you.

720
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,519
- You dare me?
- I double dare you.

721
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:05,959
- You double dare me?
- Yeah.

722
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,359
- For real?
- Yeah.

723
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:08,639
Shit. All right, woman.

724
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,479
No, wait! Wait, wait. Let me see.

725
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,279
- Come on.
- I just like looking at you.

726
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,159
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Can we eat tonight?

727
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,586
Okay, fine.

728
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,704
You throw like a girl.

729
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,988
- I'll get the plates.
- Yeah.

730
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,479
What is it?

731
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,959
I forgot we have the same phone.

732
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,671
Listen.

733
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:42,759
She has a psycho antenna that tells her,
"Somewhere out there, Danny is happy.

734
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,479
"And I should swoop in and blow it
all to shit." I just ignore her.

735
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,839
Yeah, but you're not ignoring it.
You're letting it ring.

736
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,519
See, if I ignore it, it goes
straight to voice-mail, right?

737
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,239
And then she knows I ignored it.

738
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:54,999
Then she sticks a pin
in a voodoo doll.

739
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,959
Wait a minute. People know when
you hit the ignore button?

740
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,719
- Yeah.
- No one ever told me that!

741
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,829
You're such a fucking nerd.

742
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,559
We don't need to
make this about us.

743
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,679
This is just Alison being crazy.

744
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,919
I mean, we moved in together
after a 10-minute conversation.

745
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,079
You know what? We gave it our best shot.
You're right. We should just call U-Haul...

746
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,679
You never said you wanted this.

747
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,679
I just spent a week rearranging
my life and moving you in.

748
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,919
Does that not say
I want to do this?

749
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,159
Are we fighting right now?
Is this our first fight?

750
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,159
Yeah, and it's like we're coming
out of the gate pretty strong.

751
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,905
I need to hear you say it.

752
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,679
I wanna do this.

753
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,141
Why?

754
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,239
I want, like, a home.

755
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:35,999
I haven't had one in a long
time, and you being here

756
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,665
makes this place a home.

757
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,439
That's so amazing.

758
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:40,821
Yeah?

759
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,239
Can we always be honest like this?

760
00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:44,279
Absolutely.

761
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,559
What level of honesty
would you prefer?

762
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,079
"I don't like it when you play
Rihanna music" honest?

763
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:54,180
Or "I imagine a threesome with you and
Rihanna" honest? I'm good either way.

764
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,599
God, I love you.

765
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,231
I love you, too.

766
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,225
I'm gonna get those plates.

767
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,039
<i>No, no, no, Danny!</i>

768
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,759
- Who said it first?
- She did. But I don't think she meant to.

769
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,479
Women approach that phrase
with a tactical strategy

770
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,799
normally reserved for an
anti-terrorist strike team.

771
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,719
- I think it was just an accident.
- This was no accident.

772
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,919
That was an ambush.
This was definitely...

773
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,399
The worst thing you could do.

774
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,919
- It's not like I planned it. It just came out.
- Well, it's a disaster.

775
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,999
Let's just go to his place,
move your stuff out,

776
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,199
start a new life in another
state. Disappear.

777
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,119
Join Witness Protection
because you're fucked.

778
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,399
Is it that bad to be the
first one to say it?

779
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,319
Yes, it is! And you know why?

780
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,079
- Why?
- Because in every relationship everywhere,

781
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,079
there is a person who cares
more than the other person.

782
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,639
And whoever says
"I love you" first...

783
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,159
Cares more!

784
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,759
That other person's gotta
match that level of caring.

785
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,279
Which is impossible because
she will always care more!

786
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:57,079
Now you're saying things like,
"I don't know if I feel the same way."

787
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,319
So, you're saying

788
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,039
we should have just counted to three
and maybe said it at the same time?

789
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:02,119
That's not what I'm saying, Ike.

790
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,629
When you were with Alison,
who said "I love you" first?

791
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:06,959
Shit.

792
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:08,039
Exactomundo, man.

793
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,319
- Hey, daddio, we didn't order these.
- They did.

794
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,399
Them bitches over there?

795
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:12,559
Yep.

796
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,359
- I love Halloween.
- I love Halloween.

797
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,310
I hate Halloween.

798
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,799
Wait, who are you, by the way?

799
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,999
What's your costume?
Are you Rod Stewart in drag?

800
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,719
I'm Tina Turner. It makes more
sense when I stand next to Danny.

801
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,479
Right, like that's not a
metaphor for something.

802
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,679
There they are. My only regret is that
he didn't let me clean his teeth.

803
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,319
I bet that fucker's like the Sistine
Chapel of hardened plaque.

804
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,799
Divide and conquer?

805
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,465
Let's do it.

806
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,359
All right, so let me break it down
for you. The slutty angel, she likes anal.

807
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,919
All right? And the slutty nurse, she likes
to say "Daddy" while she's having sex.

808
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,199
- That's her thing.
- No shit.

809
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,788
And the slutty nun,
it's on with the slutty nun.

810
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:53,199
Well, here's to another night of sexual
perversity in Los Angeles, baby.

811
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,559
Wait. No, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not toasting with you to that.

812
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,039
That's not your world no more.

813
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,479
You've been banished into the world
of couples' costumes, Danny.

814
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,479
That's right. I don't know anything
that's more emasculating than that.

815
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,879
Who the hell are you supposed to be?
I mean, aren't you cold?

816
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,919
I am Channing Tatum. Channing
Tatum never gets cold.

817
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,426
Church.

818
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,479
- Ike, baby.
- Hey, how's it going?

819
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,199
I gotta meet a client in the
morning, so I can't stay too long.

820
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,079
Baby. It's a holiday.
You gotta work tomorrow?

821
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,919
It's a kids' holiday and
grown-ups have to work tomorrow.

822
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,199
That's a great attitude to have.

823
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,039
Why don't you just tell him
that there's no Santa Claus?

824
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,865
Aren't you Jewish?

825
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,183
Who are you waving
those singles at?

826
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,119
There ain't no magic
in that mini-Mike.

827
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,359
- You see what I'm talking about?
- Take your little drink.

828
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,199
Get on the way. I have this.

829
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,599
What is she... Joan!

830
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,743
You better not... Hey, Joan!

831
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,759
What did you just say to them?

832
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,959
Nothing. I just told
them you gave me herpes.

833
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:46,070
That I have... I don't
have fucking herpes, Joan!

834
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,039
Promise me we'll never
end up like them.

835
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,439
All's fair, Bitchko. What are
you gonna do, cry about it?

836
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,759
Yo, you are sick.
You're gone, Joan.

837
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,239
If you didn't have a pussy, there
would be a bounty on your head!

838
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:01,559
- Can we go home now?
- Come on, little mama, let's split.

839
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,439
You are a psychopathic
social misfit

840
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,267
who's clearly in the middle
of a deep homosexual panic.

841
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,519
If I'm gay, it's only because after
fucking you for three months,

842
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,759
that seems like the next
logical step to take!

843
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,279
I would rather chase another man's
ass than fuck you again, Joan!

844
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,359
- Homosexual panic! Homosexual panic!
- That's a panic?

845
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,599
That's a panic? This is a panic!

846
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:22,959
You got no idea what
I'll do to you.

847
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,599
You better make it count, motherfucker,
'cause you won't get a second one!

848
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:26,901
You make me mad!

849
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,999
I hate your guts!

850
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,439
Get away. You get away!

851
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,279
You better lose my number.
You lose it!

852
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,345
I'm gonna lose the memory
that you ever lived!

853
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,580
Security!

854
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,222
Hey, dude, when I tell you
last night got crazy...

855
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,239
You remember the
slutty chicks, right?

856
00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:54,510
We start doing shots. We do, like,
fucking 16 shots, back to back.

857
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,359
You should have stayed instead of leaving
like a little whipped punk bitch.

858
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,399
- Yeah, I'm super jealous of you right now.
- Tell you something,

859
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,919
if you're gonna scream
at me, don't talk to me.

860
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,519
I'm talking in a totally
normal voice right now.

861
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,319
- You know, I don't need to party.
- Okay.

862
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,839
I can have a perfectly
enjoyable night at home, man.

863
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,199
That's what you're gonna do, you're
gonna try to sell me on that shit?

864
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,279
Keep talking, sell me on it.

865
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,559
- Debbie has this thing with...
- Why don't you just shut the hell up?

866
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,679
I don't wanna hear it,
give a shit about that!

867
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,959
You and your life at home with Debbie.
I got a damn hangover!

868
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,199
Feel like a bunch of bees
stinging me in my face!

869
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,639
<i>Daniel Martin, please come
to my office. Daniel Martin.</i>

870
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,342
Am I a lost kid at Chuck E. Cheese?
Why does he insist on using that?

871
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,439
Hey, buddy.

872
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,759
This is Mr Savelson, Mr
Greenberg from corporate.

873
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,159
They're here to talk to
you about your accounts.

874
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,701
Specifically Casey's
and how he hasn't

875
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,826
paid us.

876
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,439
That's it. Should be one,
two, buckle my shoe.

877
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:46,519
So let's huddle up. We'll
have a nice little chat.

878
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,231
Mano-a-mano...

879
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,559
A-mano-a-mano.

880
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,519
There's four people
in this scenario.

881
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:52,959
<i>They can't cut me off.</i>

882
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,119
I've been giving them
business for years.

883
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,919
I always pay eventually.

884
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,359
- There's no more "eventually."
- I wanna talk to them.

885
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,319
- They can't do this to people.
- There is no "They"!

886
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:05,227
It's a gigantic company. I don't
even know who my boss' boss is.

887
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,343
They don't care about you

888
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,586
or your bar.

889
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,828
What about you, Danny?

890
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:20,986
Do you care?

891
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,947
Hey.

892
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,119
Don't forget about
the thing tonight.

893
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,519
Shit, Debbie.

894
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,999
Come on, you said you'd go. I want
you to meet the people I work with.

895
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,301
Fine.

896
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,711
But I'm inviting Bernie!

897
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,422
Fine. Then I'm inviting Joan.

898
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,039
- Fine.
- Fine.

899
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,559
- Fine.
- Fine!

900
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,305
- Fine.
- Fine.

901
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,705
I heard that!

902
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,790
- Hey, man. Thanks for showing up.
- Anytime.

903
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,519
So, dude, what are you, like, auditioning
for her co-workers right now?

904
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:15,959
You know, I'm supporting her.

905
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,599
Financially, is that what
you're talking about?

906
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,199
Actually, no. I mean, she might
make more money than me.

907
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,999
She might make more money than you?

908
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,079
What the hell are you talking...

909
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:25,719
You know damn well she
makes more money than you.

910
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,479
Stop it, Danny. You know what
you are in this picture?

911
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,260
Okay, let's say her life
is like a bike, right?

912
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,799
Dude, you wouldn't be the tyre,
you wouldn't be the handlebar.

913
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,039
You wouldn't even be the damn seat.
Danny, you know what you would be?

914
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,439
You would be the little bell
on the front of the bike.

915
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,799
You know, the bell that people ring
to let people know they're coming.

916
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,879
Yeah.

917
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,262
"Here I come. Look how
perfect my life is."

918
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,679
That's what you would be.
A fucking bell.

919
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,587
Oh, my God. Hello.
Sweetie, I'm talk... Okay.

920
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,999
- Lesbian.
- I don't think so.

921
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,839
I can't stand coming
to stuff like this.

922
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,479
Everybody walking around with
their nose all up in the air.

923
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,239
Bunch of rich people
with attitudes.

924
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:04,159
You understand these are the type of
people that Debbie's hanging around with.

925
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,759
That means these are the type of people
that you have to hang around with

926
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,639
in order to continue to be that
little bell on her bike, man.

927
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,430
Ring, ring. Food for thought.

928
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,706
Hey, is that Joan right there?

929
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,863
Yeah, I'm gonna leave
you to it. Ring, ring.

930
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:24,999
You look good, Joan.

931
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,984
By good, I do mean tremendous.

932
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,559
- Listen, I was thinking...
- You were thinking?

933
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,239
You shouldn't do that,
you'll hurt yourself.

934
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:33,599
That's what I miss.
So damn feisty, Joan.

935
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:34,999
Why don't you go bother
some other girl?

936
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,479
Maybe I don't want to bother some
other girl. Maybe I want some feisty.

937
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,781
Here you go.

938
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,508
A rum and coke. Light ice,
though. I don't like a lot of ice.

939
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,304
Bernie, this is...

940
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,159
- Wow.
- I'm sorry.

941
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:54,359
Your name is escaping me
because I'm distracted

942
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,439
by how straight and
white your teeth are.

943
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,559
Derek, like Jeter.

944
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,879
- Right.
- Yeah.

945
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,759
Derek, this is Bernie,

946
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,266
like Madoff.

947
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,786
He has gingivitis as a result
of not flossing enough.

948
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,439
- Hey, what's up, man?
- The hell am I supposed to do with that?

949
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,439
- Well, normal people shake it.
- I'm not normal.

950
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:15,301
Bernie's gonna go to a shitty dive bar now
and pick up some chick with low self-esteem.

951
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,639
Nah, I'm gonna go home.

952
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,784
The only chick with low
self-esteem that I wanted tonight

953
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,780
is you.

954
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,559
Look, I'm telling you.

955
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,039
You wanna clear 400 K at the end of
the year without lifting a finger?

956
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,359
You invest. Passive income.

957
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,679
That's how you're
gonna pay your taxes.

958
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:40,839
Danny, what do you do?

959
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,746
Honey. He wants to
know what you do.

960
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,399
- Restaurant supply.
- Interesting.

961
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,589
- In what aspect?
- I work.

962
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,159
Active income.

963
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,679
It's kind of a cause
and effect thing.

964
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,839
You actually work, someone
actually pays you for the work.

965
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,746
It's an experimental thing a
few companies are trying.

966
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,039
- Danny's a salesman.
- I can see.

967
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,071
I mean, he's really
selling me on something.

968
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,902
- So how did you and Debbie meet?
- We're cousins.

969
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,427
Danny.

970
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,919
Hey, I'm just trying
to make conversation.

971
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,639
Okay, chief. Don't let me stop you.

972
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,942
Excuse me for a second.

973
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,639
What the hell was that?

974
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:21,839
That was Steven,

975
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,839
wiping his dick with money that
could save people's businesses.

976
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:25,959
That's what that was.

977
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,639
- Why are you so angry?
- Who said I'm angry?

978
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:28,919
What do you call this? Calm?

979
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,119
My boss is not why
you're mad, Danny.

980
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,919
- You're scared about something.
- I'm not scared.

981
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,710
Talk to me!

982
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,987
I hate my job.

983
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:48,559
It means I have to do things that I
know aren't right, and I hate it.

984
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,159
- Then quit.
- I can't.

985
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,839
- Why not?
- Because I have you now.

986
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,839
I can't do that.

987
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,144
I appreciate you wanting me to
follow my dream, baby, but it's just

988
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:58,319
unrealistic.

989
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:59,999
Baby, if you're holding on
to this job because of me,

990
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,359
you're doing it for
the wrong reasons.

991
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,039
- You say that, but you don't mean it.
- How do you know what I mean?

992
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,519
I know it because you're a
well put together person

993
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,399
and you want me to be
a part of all that.

994
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,119
This shit isn't pretty, all right!

995
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,239
You will run when I
cannot be what you want!

996
00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:13,985
I'm not Alison!

997
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,263
Hey, buddy. You wanna sit down?

998
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,199
You know, I'm not really
good at communicating

999
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,025
except with my Japanese love-doll.

1000
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,959
There goes my sense
of humour again.

1001
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,944
Right, right. What's up, Keller?

1002
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,119
So since...

1003
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,199
Two weeks after our
meeting with corporate,

1004
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,879
a delivery went out to Casey's.

1005
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,919
It's probably a computer
glitch or something.

1006
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,666
Nope. No, I actually
authorised that delivery.

1007
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,990
Right. Okay.

1008
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,959
Well, since you violated and
misappropriated company materials,

1009
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,706
I'm gonna have to...

1010
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,199
You know...

1011
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,549
Because you... You leave
me no recourse, Danny.

1012
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:20,439
Danny...

1013
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,959
I'll tell you what.
I'll make it easier on you.

1014
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,559
Come on, Danny!

1015
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,879
Danny, don't be mad, man.
What're you doing? Are you mad at me?

1016
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,359
Where you going, man?

1017
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,559
I'm walking out. That's what
people do when they quit.

1018
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,340
- You can't quit.
- Yeah? Watch me.

1019
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,908
- Hey, can you hold that for a second?
- Yeah.

1020
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,959
Shit!

1021
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,039
What?

1022
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,639
- Thanks, man. I'll see you later?
- Yeah.

1023
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:44,759
All right, cool.

1024
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,825
- You can't quit because you're fired!
- Go fuck yourself.

1025
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,279
You're still on for the
company picnic, right?

1026
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,582
Sure am. Yep.

1027
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:02,759
There you are. Baby,
you were right.

1028
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:04,839
Just screw that place. I quit.

1029
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,479
Good for you.

1030
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,270
What's going on?

1031
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,439
- I thought we were being careful.
- We are.

1032
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,319
- I just switched birth control...
- Wait.

1033
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,039
We haven't had sex in forever.

1034
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,399
- We had sex three days ago.
- Used to have sex every day.

1035
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:18,919
It takes two people
to have sex, Danny.

1036
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,941
- What is that supposed to mean, Debbie?
- Nothing. I'm not pregnant.

1037
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,159
Thank God.

1038
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:25,461
Wow.

1039
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,631
Wait, are you disappointed?

1040
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,839
Look, Debbie. I just quit
my job. I'm not...

1041
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:33,301
I'm relieved. I'm relieved.

1042
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:34,826
Yeah?

1043
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:36,621
Good.

1044
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,119
So now we got two reasons
to celebrate, right?

1045
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,581
Yeah.

1046
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:47,759
Yep.

1047
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:49,471
You want a beer?

1048
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,181
Love one.

1049
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,511
Cranberry sauce,
onions for stuffing.

1050
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:59,828
Is Bernie coming tomorrow?
Because I should warn Joan.

1051
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,679
I'll ask. I'm gonna
see him tonight.

1052
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,559
You going out tonight?

1053
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,119
Yeah, it's Trent's birthday,
we always go out.

1054
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:08,359
I didn't tell you that?

1055
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,639
No, no. It's fine.

1056
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,479
It's a tradition, you know?
I mean, we do it every year.

1057
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,439
We can still see our friends
outside of each other, right?

1058
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,185
Of course.

1059
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,340
Why are you...

1060
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,359
Are we arguing?

1061
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:22,999
No, we're talking.

1062
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,559
You don't want me to go out?

1063
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,199
No, do what you wanna do.

1064
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,879
You don't want me to go out the
night before Thanksgiving.

1065
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,359
No, baby. I'm just confused. Okay?

1066
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,679
You said that we were gonna make
Thanksgiving dinner together.

1067
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:35,959
It's my favourite holiday.

1068
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,039
This is not a problem at all.

1069
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:40,839
Tomorrow morning we will wake up,
we will whip up something special.

1070
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:42,266
I'll make sweet potato pie.

1071
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,639
Okay? It's still gonna be
your favourite holiday.

1072
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,359
We're gonna do it together.

1073
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,959
- Okay?
- Thank you.

1074
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:49,879
- Are we making up?
- We weren't fighting.

1075
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:51,864
- Can we make up anyway?
- Lay it on me.

1076
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:05,027
Look. Look at all the doggies!

1077
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,519
- Can I hold it?
- Of course.

1078
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,310
They need good homes.

1079
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,359
Baby, isn't he cute?

1080
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:15,759
Yeah, he's adorable. Look at you.
You're a little Chewbacca.

1081
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,799
This is our dog.
You wanna be our doggie?

1082
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,599
- Our dog?
- Wouldn't it be great?

1083
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,639
Walks in the park, snuggles.

1084
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,759
Baby, you know, they chew stuff
up, they poop on floors.

1085
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,919
You're just gonna let him kiss you
in the mouth, huh? Just, wow.

1086
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,621
It's a lot of responsibility, baby.

1087
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:33,719
Thank you.

1088
00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:34,919
What's wrong?

1089
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:36,279
- Nothing.
- What happened?

1090
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,799
- Nothing.
- Come on. Just tell me.

1091
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,199
No, I just feel ready, but
you don't, so we aren't.

1092
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,599
- It's cute.
- It's cool.

1093
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:42,901
Cool.

1094
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,745
Now we are arguing.

1095
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:49,119
Hey, should we get a dog?

1096
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,599
You talking about
collectively, as a group?

1097
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:51,959
- I'm allergic.
- I like Rottweilers.

1098
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,959
I'm not getting a dog. You wouldn't take
care of it, Trent, you're irresponsible.

1099
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:56,799
What do you mean I'm not gonna
take care of it? I love dogs.

1100
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,319
I'd be stuck cleaning up shit.
And I'm not cleaning up dog shit.

1101
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,359
Debbie, the woman I live with,
is interested in procuring

1102
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,119
an animal for us to domesticate.

1103
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,399
Isn't she too busy
domesticating you?

1104
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:07,479
Is it that bad?

1105
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,639
Yes, it's that bad. Dude, your balls
are in your goddamn vagina right now.

1106
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:11,999
Dogs are practise babies.
Don't do it.

1107
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,919
I have an idea. How about
you get out of there?

1108
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,159
I can't get out of there.
I live there. It's my place.

1109
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,383
Wait, I got it.
Fake your own death.

1110
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:21,079
Drop the Jew-bomb.

1111
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:22,159
I'm not Jewish.

1112
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:26,119
Details. Everything with you is
about details, Danny. Just lie.

1113
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,399
Casey, put it on my tab.
Good night.

1114
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,679
Hey, real quick. Before you go, sir.
Trent, that's your future.

1115
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:32,959
Probably.

1116
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,999
- Okay. Good night.
- Hey, be safe, man.

1117
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,279
Danny, watch the bar for a sec.

1118
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,199
I gotta put this highly
functioning citizen into a cab.

1119
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:40,359
Yep.

1120
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,399
Casey! You see me right here,
you couldn't choose me?

1121
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,639
Putting Danny back there is like
putting a fox in a hen house!

1122
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:46,839
The fuck you assholes want?

1123
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,039
- Let me get some 1800.
- Two beers.

1124
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,799
I like that little towel over
your shoulder. Looks like a matador.

1125
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,479
I learned the tricks of the trade
from the legendary drunks.

1126
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,999
Hemingway, Bukowski, your dad.

1127
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,079
My dad now.

1128
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,639
Any job that lets me drink you guys
under the table is fine with me.

1129
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,399
- I'm sorry, what did you say, Isaac?
- Is that a challenge?

1130
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,239
- Possibly.
- Well, you know what?

1131
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:04,599
I might just meet you
halfway, my friend.

1132
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,679
Tomorrow's a holiday.
I don't have shit to do.

1133
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:08,359
- Where do we hang these guys?
- Here, I got you.

1134
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,503
Isaac, stop asking
dumb questions, man.

1135
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,221
Let's do this.

1136
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,060
Do it! You better fucking do it!

1137
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,101
Fuck you!

1138
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,380
Go, go, go, go, go!

1139
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,348
All the way. All the way.
All the way!

1140
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,519
- What time is it?
- Almost noon.

1141
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,879
Shit, Deb, listen.
I'm really sorry.

1142
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:06,581
Can you get the turkey out
of the oven? I think it's done.

1143
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,069
What can I do to help?

1144
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,869
You can take the turkey out
of the oven. I think it's done.

1145
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,061
Okay.

1146
00:53:19,240 --> 00:53:23,119
And you can be unequivocally
supportive of everything I do

1147
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,548
for the next 24 hours.

1148
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:36,261
Oh, boy.

1149
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:43,839
- Bernie!
- Hey.

1150
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,461
Give me some. Happy holiday, boy.

1151
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,279
Look at her ass.

1152
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,639
Hey, this is my new love, Tracy.

1153
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:51,759
I got you.

1154
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,222
That bitch looks like Tracy Morgan.

1155
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:56,719
I got you.

1156
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:58,999
Does she have my fucking dress?

1157
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,950
Let me get that. Gobble, gobble.

1158
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:03,380
Did she just say, "Enchantée"?

1159
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:06,199
Come here, baby. Let me introduce
you to everybody else.

1160
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,519
You didn't tell me she was coming.

1161
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,919
Fellas, this is my new love, Tracy.
Tracy, meet the guys.

1162
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,439
Nice to meet you.

1163
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,039
She's not French. I can't take it.

1164
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,239
Dude, how long y'all been here?

1165
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:17,559
An hour.

1166
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,799
- Thank you.
- Game's about to come on.

1167
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,829
Go, boy! Go, boy!

1168
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,663
This could be a good year for them.

1169
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:30,039
This bitch is on my last nerve, Debbie.
I swear. Here, take this.

1170
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,479
No, I'll just get paranoid.

1171
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,101
Right now paranoid would
be relaxed for you. Here.

1172
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,479
I think her butt is fake.
It looks like a pad.

1173
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:38,719
Do I seem different?

1174
00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:41,519
- You just had one hit.
- No, no. I mean, in general.

1175
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,479
Well, it is a little weird that
everyone's having a great time.

1176
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,199
Especially Bernie. And you're
acting like a rodent on crack.

1177
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,439
Danny said he'd help, but
he got drunk last night.

1178
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,639
So I had to do this
entire goddamn spread.

1179
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,399
I'm definitely prettier
than her, right?

1180
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:55,919
And I'm overworking myself and
not expressing my feelings,

1181
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:57,199
and officially becoming my mother.

1182
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,839
If this bitch was any dumber,
you'd have to water her.

1183
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:00,959
Oh, God, it's worse than that.

1184
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:04,679
I've become the person who says things
like, "Officially becoming my mother."

1185
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,999
Okay. Now you're officially high.
Give me that back.

1186
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,143
I gotta go handle some shit now.

1187
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:23,399
Danny. Can you make sure
people use the coasters?

1188
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,119
Would you like me to enforce
this policy with an iron fist?

1189
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,502
Whatever you think is fine.

1190
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:30,862
Wait a minute. Baby?

1191
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,399
Are you stoned?

1192
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:36,519
No. Yes. A little. My forehead
weighs so much right now.

1193
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,585
You know what? I gotta liven
this party up. Come here, baby.

1194
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,119
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to
take this time to make a toast

1195
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:44,359
to Danny and Debbie.

1196
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:48,559
Without them, we'd be celebrating this
holiday with binge drinking and weird sex.

1197
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,067
Keep on drinking, people.
You could still get lucky.

1198
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,159
Some of us have standards.

1199
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,759
I'm sorry. What did you say, Joan?

1200
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,119
Some of us have standards.

1201
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,119
You know what's funny? Some of us are
living proof that if you get drunk enough,

1202
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:00,519
those standards will
drop significantly.

1203
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,279
- Obviously. I fucked you.
- You fucked what?

1204
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,039
You called it fucking?
I didn't call it fucking.

1205
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,239
- Don't treat me like some random chick!
- You better control it.

1206
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:08,479
- No, you control it.
- Control it. You control it.

1207
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:09,559
Stop it.

1208
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:10,599
- You control it.
- Don't.

1209
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:11,719
Excuse me, what is your name?

1210
00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:13,079
- I'm...
- Exactly.

1211
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:17,719
No one cares. Because you are making a
brief cameo in a very tragic porno.

1212
00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:18,879
Joan.

1213
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,104
You and I. We meant something.

1214
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:27,544
You felt something, Bernie.
You cried during sex with me.

1215
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:36,027
I challenge any man in this room not to
cry when they have sex with you, Joan.

1216
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,999
Stop it. Okay? I don't
have time for this shit.

1217
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,461
Happy Thanksgiving.

1218
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:43,501
Sorry, baby.

1219
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:45,550
Bring it over here.

1220
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:50,039
Debbie, Danny, this is what
you have to look forward to.

1221
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:51,759
- Joan, no, no, don't. Joan, no!
- I am leaving!

1222
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,279
- I'm leaving!
- No, I am leaving!

1223
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:54,359
Stop!

1224
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:55,639
- You have a date here, Bernie!
- Kiss my ass!

1225
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:56,759
- Leave me alone.
- Joan, don't go.

1226
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,879
Tracy, can't you see I'm trying to storm
out in dramatic fashion? Will you come on?

1227
00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:00,999
Get your coat. Joan, I'm leaving!

1228
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,119
You ain't gonna leave
before I fucking leave!

1229
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:03,839
- No, no, no!
- Yes, yes, yes!

1230
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,719
- I am leaving!
- Get off the door!

1231
00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:09,479
- Get off the door, Joan!
- Not your door! I open my own door!

1232
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,559
You don't even know how
to open a fucking door!

1233
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,839
- Don't you close it on me!
- I don't want you going... You get away!

1234
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:15,959
- Fuck you, Joan!
- Fuck you, Bernie!

1235
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,039
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!

1236
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,199
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you back!

1237
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:20,959
Fine! Go! Go!

1238
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,359
- Tracy, will you please?
- Shut up!

1239
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,199
- You shut up!
- Shut up!

1240
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:28,039
Hey, Danny. This was a great
time, man. Thanks. All right?

1241
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,501
Save me a plate!

1242
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:40,741
Holy shit.

1243
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:41,999
That's not good.

1244
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,381
Frosting, anyone?

1245
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,719
Hey.

1246
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,079
What happened?

1247
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:53,319
I had this horrible nightmare that we
had friends over for Thanksgiving.

1248
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,239
Yeah. It was a nightmare.
But you weren't dreaming.

1249
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:57,639
Where are you going?

1250
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:58,941
I gotta run out.

1251
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:07,990
Oh, my God! Hi, puppy!

1252
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,399
Danny. you got him!

1253
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,031
- Yeah.
- Hi!

1254
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:13,839
Hug Mommy! Hug me.

1255
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,141
Baby.

1256
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,279
He needs a good home,
and we have that now.

1257
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:20,399
Yes, we do.

1258
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,668
Yeah. Thanks to you.

1259
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:24,599
Hi!

1260
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:26,959
He's just like a little baby.

1261
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,422
Yeah. He's awesome.

1262
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,519
Why don't you just pick
the damn dog up, Danny?

1263
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:33,199
I can't. He's gotta
learn how to walk.

1264
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,239
Just tell him to sit so you
can at least look better.

1265
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:36,580
You look stupid right now.

1266
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,319
Pacino.

1267
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:41,021
Thanks for your time.
You have my résumé.

1268
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,222
You're doing good. Come here.

1269
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,022
- Good luck out there.
- Yeah.

1270
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,519
- What do you think?
- Oh, my God.

1271
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,959
What a surprise. Hello,
beautiful. Come here.

1272
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:15,719
He's adorable.

1273
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:19,079
- What's his name?
- His name's Pacino. Pacino, this is Casey.

1274
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,199
Hey, you talking to me?
You talking to me?

1275
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:22,279
That's De Niro.

1276
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,599
I'm De Niro talking to Pacino.

1277
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,839
- Come on.
- Right.

1278
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,303
Yeah. Casey, listen,
I could use a favour.

1279
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,066
Name it.

1280
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,519
Hey. How was your first
night bartending?

1281
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,959
It's fine. Fine. I thought
you'd be sleeping.

1282
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:47,901
Yeah, my flight's at 7:00. I figured
I'd stay up, sleep on the plane.

1283
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:49,461
I wanted to see you.

1284
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:51,879
Yeah.

1285
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,919
You're only going to
Chicago for two days.

1286
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,461
I think we can go two days
without seeing each other.

1287
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,719
Yeah, but it's your first night.

1288
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,319
You know what, Debbie?
It's just an in-between thing

1289
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,782
until I find a better job, okay?

1290
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,580
You don't need to make
a big deal out of it.

1291
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:11,306
Okay.

1292
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:13,679
What are we fighting about now?

1293
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:17,029
I don't know. You tell me,
you're picking one.

1294
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,831
No, no, no, no, no!

1295
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:19,919
Bad dog!

1296
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,348
Damn it! My best shoe.

1297
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,919
Why are you packing those anyway?
Are you trying to look nice for Steven?

1298
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:27,599
You don't need to throw that in my face
just to make yourself feel better.

1299
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,999
All I wanted to do was come home,

1300
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,871
watch Sports Center, drink a
beer and go the fuck to sleep.

1301
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,119
So what, are you storming out now?

1302
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,079
I'm going to Joan's!
I'll see you when I get back.

1303
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,839
Why do you get to be
the one to walk out?

1304
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,825
Because this is your
apartment, moron.

1305
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:55,999
Did Mommy just call me a moron?

1306
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:57,719
I don't know what to do.
Should I call him?

1307
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,079
I don't wanna leave
angry, but I am angry.

1308
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,599
And if I pretend like I'm
not, just so we get better,

1309
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,221
this entire thing is gonna
start all over again.

1310
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,319
Am I boring you?

1311
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,479
It is 5:30 in the morning.

1312
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:12,559
Only Starbucks employees and
babies are up at this hour.

1313
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:16,399
I am exhausted and, yes, you
are boring the shit out of me.

1314
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,799
Just really want this to work,
and I feel like he's giving up!

1315
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:22,239
Which only makes me work harder,
and then I become the bitch.

1316
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,065
Who's texting you at this hour?

1317
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,399
No, you don't want
to know. It's fine.

1318
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:27,479
What should I do about Danny?

1319
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,319
Why do you want my
advice all of a sudden?

1320
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,439
You moved in with him, despite all
of my excellent advice not to.

1321
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:35,346
You have my permission to move
out if that's what you want.

1322
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,559
- Is somebody here?
- It's my new roommate.

1323
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,359
- Is it a guy?
- Basically.

1324
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:41,439
Basically?

1325
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,583
After you abandoned me,
I had to replace you.

1326
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:48,839
'Sup.

1327
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:50,141
Hi.

1328
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,439
That bitch just took
my last soy milk.

1329
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,186
I hope she remembered to
lift the toilet seat.

1330
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:03,786
Please come back, Deb.

1331
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:05,947
Please.

1332
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:10,199
<i>So, whether in L.A.
or here in Chicago,</i>

1333
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,159
with Near Field Communication, you
can take the music from your phone

1334
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:16,719
and, just like that, little
tap, right in your ear.

1335
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:19,307
And just like that

1336
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,868
from your phone to your speaker.

1337
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:31,230
Three Olives on the rocks.

1338
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,079
Hi.

1339
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:34,239
Alison.

1340
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:37,879
I just got back from Paris.
I was hoping I'd run into you.

1341
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,023
Just not behind the bar.

1342
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:43,399
What happened? I hope this
has nothing to do with me.

1343
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:46,101
- You are the cause of all things.
- I know.

1344
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:47,799
We can be friends,
though, can't we?

1345
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,799
I could really use a friend
right now and a drink.

1346
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:51,919
Put your money away.

1347
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,301
You look great.

1348
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,064
So, how have you been?

1349
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:58,199
Living the dream.

1350
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:02,879
Well, I can tell by your cold
and distant demeanour,

1351
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,119
- you must be seeing someone.
- Yeah.

1352
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:06,199
Yeah.

1353
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:07,399
- Debbie.
- Debbie.

1354
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:11,830
That's cute. It's so high school.
Are you guys going steady?

1355
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,422
I got other customers, Alison.

1356
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,546
I'll be right here.

1357
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,349
Thanks for the drink.

1358
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,186
Is your suite on this floor?

1359
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:26,759
No.

1360
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:27,999
Stop.

1361
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,559
- He won't know.
- But I would.

1362
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,239
You're acting like you have
a ring on your finger.

1363
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:34,544
I don't need a ring on my finger.
Look at me. Don't I look different?

1364
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,839
I'm crazy about this guy. I live
with him. We have a life together.

1365
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,471
Does he love you?

1366
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,467
If he doesn't, he's an idiot.

1367
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,101
Hey.

1368
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:50,906
You talking to me?

1369
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:52,639
I forgot what a nice
guy you can be.

1370
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,705
Yeah, I hate that about me.

1371
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:59,119
- Good night.
- Night.

1372
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:02,919
I don't know where she lives now. She
won't tell me. Should I put her in a cab?

1373
01:04:02,920 --> 01:04:06,439
- You can't put her in a cab like that.
- Right. Okay, so what should I do?

1374
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,310
Put her on a train.

1375
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:11,066
Kidding.

1376
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,239
We can't leave her here like that.

1377
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,508
Okay. Yeah.

1378
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:17,799
Yeah, I got you.

1379
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,706
I love it when you take
such good care of me.

1380
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:24,119
- That's what I do.
- This reminds me of the old times.

1381
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:25,479
- Really?
- Yeah.

1382
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,839
Okay. Do me a favour.
Just sit right here.

1383
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,279
Yes, I will sit.

1384
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,264
That's how you want me?

1385
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,839
- Don't start.
- You want it on the chair?

1386
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,919
You want us sitting?

1387
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:37,399
Okay. Yeah.

1388
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,119
- Yeah.
- Damn.

1389
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:40,759
Okay, all right. Yeah.

1390
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:42,999
- I'm gonna go away right quick, okay?
- Okay.

1391
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,479
- That's great, you just hold onto that.
- All right.

1392
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:47,981
- Be right back. Stay right there.
- I'll be right here.

1393
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,919
You have a puppy?

1394
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:56,621
Hi, puppy. So cute.

1395
01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:59,079
Pacino.

1396
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:01,667
Sorry about that.
Here's some water.

1397
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:04,022
- Water?
- Drink that. L.A. tap.

1398
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,670
Pacino, come here. Good boy.

1399
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:10,707
- I'll be right back.
- Be right here.

1400
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:22,304
It's all right, kid. I'll get her out
of here. I'm gonna call her a cab.

1401
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:25,824
Right? Then I'm gonna jerk-off like
I do when Mommy's not here.

1402
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:28,149
And sometimes when Mommy is here.

1403
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,599
Hi.

1404
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:41,159
- You moved.
- Yeah.

1405
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,999
- I just wanted to be more comfortable.
- Hey, okay.

1406
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,382
It's a nice couch.

1407
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:49,679
This Daisy girl really has
changed you, Dan-Dan.

1408
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:51,639
It's Debbie. And she
hasn't changed me.

1409
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:53,999
She makes me wanna change
myself, all right?

1410
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,719
She pushes me. It's good.

1411
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:59,388
- You like to be pushed, don't you?
- It's different with her, Alison.

1412
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,039
Right. All right.

1413
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,559
Oh, my God. No, this is not good.

1414
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,261
Shit, fuck. Jeez.

1415
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,559
You know what? You should go.
That would just be better.

1416
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,799
Someone wants to play hard to get.

1417
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,639
You're crawling. Okay.

1418
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:17,039
Come on, Dan-Dan. Give me a
chance to do right by you.

1419
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,199
That's exactly what
I'm doing. Trust me.

1420
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:20,501
Are you sure about that?

1421
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:21,879
Yeah.

1422
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:23,199
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

1423
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,839
Well, somebody else is telling
me something very different.

1424
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:29,759
Yeah, don't listen to him, 'cause
he gets me in trouble every time.

1425
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:33,587
Here is your coat and purse.

1426
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:35,399
Here's cab fare.

1427
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:38,759
You're gonna regret this when you've got
two kids and you're living in the suburbs,

1428
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:40,949
but I wish you well.

1429
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:47,147
Call me when you're feeling horny.

1430
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,519
What upsets me most is not
that I had Alison over,

1431
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,319
or that she wanted my
junk like never before.

1432
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,429
It was crazy, dude.

1433
01:06:56,360 --> 01:07:01,319
But, you know, I have now become that
guy who cares about the damn coaster.

1434
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,799
On top of that, I'm gonna have
to hear Debbie's mouth about it.

1435
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:05,479
Let me tell you something.
I'd rather lick Pacino's ass

1436
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,279
before I heard a woman's mouth
over some damn coasters.

1437
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:09,919
You wanna lick my dog's ass, you might
want to pet him first, homeboy.

1438
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:14,270
Boom! Suck on that, StankbudNYC!
Right between your eyes, bitch.

1439
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:16,159
What? What'd you say?

1440
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:17,239
No, that's real funny.

1441
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:18,359
You know what else is funny?

1442
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,759
The fact that you haven't
seen a live actual vagina.

1443
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:24,839
Yeah, I have. Sucks to be 13, doesn't it?
Whatever. Scoreboard, bitch.

1444
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,279
Hey, what am I supposed to do?

1445
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,279
- What you're gonna do is play your side!
- All right, I got it! Stop yelling at me.

1446
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,119
- Get in the bunker, Danny!
- All right! I'm in! Just relax.

1447
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,199
What you gonna do?
Shouldn't love handle all this?

1448
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:34,839
I mean, love and
your practise baby.

1449
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:38,462
Seriously, you're like a gay couple
staying together just for the damn dog.

1450
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:40,079
Pause it. Seriously, my phone.

1451
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:41,620
Pause it.

1452
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:44,799
Who you texting?

1453
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,626
So nasty. Nobody. I just
gotta send something.

1454
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,639
Hey, let me see, man.

1455
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:51,759
What'd she send you?

1456
01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:53,639
Come on, man. Let me just
live vicariously, man.

1457
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:54,719
Come on. I know you got
photos in there, man.

1458
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:57,319
- She sent you pictures, didn't she?
- No. Dude, it's none of your business.

1459
01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:58,399
- Come on. Let me see.
- If I did...

1460
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,199
- I can't let you see them.
- Come on. She got nice titties?

1461
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:01,479
Yo, stop being weird. Seriously.

1462
01:08:01,480 --> 01:08:03,719
She got nice titties. I knew it, man.
Let me see the phone.

1463
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:05,759
- Danny, you're freaking me out.
- Bernie, let me see your phone.

1464
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:07,119
It's my phone! Stop.

1465
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:10,981
I'm not letting you...
Danny, get off the phone, man!

1466
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:12,941
The first picture's my dick.

1467
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,224
- Where?
- Right there, man!

1468
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:17,586
Give me my phone.

1469
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:27,119
- Did you sleep with her?
- No.

1470
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,119
- I'd rather you just tell me if you...
- I said, "No."

1471
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:32,469
- Did you want to sleep with her?
- If I wanted to, I could have.

1472
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:52,959
Bitch, did you just
send me to ignore?

1473
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:55,519
Come on. I have earned a courtesy
ring through to voice-mail.

1474
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:58,391
<i>I miss you. Come out! Call me.</i>

1475
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,426
Sorry.

1476
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:29,439
Wow. Are you serious
right now, Danny?

1477
01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:32,239
That was such an obvious
ignore button move.

1478
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:35,239
Dude, where are you? Like,
you're officially MIA right now.

1479
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,828
<i>Come be a friend. Come get
shit-faced with your boy. Bye.</i>

1480
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:42,383
Fuck him. Merry Christmas, bitches.

1481
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:46,104
To you and me. To us.

1482
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:48,987
To a new year together.

1483
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:10,479
Yeah?

1484
01:10:10,480 --> 01:10:11,759
<i>You still grounded?</i>

1485
01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:14,679
<i>Tell the ball and chain to lighten
up and get your ass over here!</i>

1486
01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:16,959
- Funny guy.
<i>- It's New Year's, bitch!</i>

1487
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:18,919
Talk to you later.

1488
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:21,639
- Bernie?
- What's left of him.

1489
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,942
- Everyone at the Broadway?
- Sounded like it.

1490
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:30,199
Let's go.

1491
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:31,319
Go where?

1492
01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:33,110
To the Broadway. Let's go.

1493
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:35,639
Are you sure? We have this...

1494
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,541
Yeah. You know,
we should have some fun.

1495
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:39,861
I need some fun.

1496
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,070
I'll walk Pacino.

1497
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:45,310
Here, boy.

1498
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:49,101
Hey, Danny!

1499
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:51,359
- Over here!
- Bernie!

1500
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:54,199
Come over here! I got
shots for you over here!

1501
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:56,309
Come on this side! Hey, mother...

1502
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,070
Look, I got it. I'm good.
I'm all right!

1503
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:01,639
- What's up, man?
- What up, baby?

1504
01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:03,359
Here. It'll make you
all right. Come on.

1505
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,679
- Yes, sir!
- Hey, Bernie!

1506
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:05,759
Hey.

1507
01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:06,919
Hey, Deb.

1508
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,039
Happy new year!

1509
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:10,279
Slow down, man! What're you doing?

1510
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:12,199
- Today's a holiday, baby.
- No, no, no.

1511
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:14,184
I only paid for one. Hey.

1512
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,311
- Danny. Okay, okay.
- Happy new year!

1513
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:23,585
All right. Okay, slow down.

1514
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,999
- Danny, I'm going to the bathroom.
- What?

1515
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,079
I'll be right back.

1516
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:28,479
I love you, too.

1517
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:29,719
Hey, cowboy, what's up?

1518
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:31,159
What, did you just get out
of jail or something, man?

1519
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:32,479
Basically, yeah!

1520
01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:34,719
All right, look, slow down! Okay?

1521
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:36,510
No, Danny. For real, slow down.

1522
01:11:36,520 --> 01:11:39,519
Danny. Danny, look at me.
That's like four in a row, man!

1523
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:40,919
Come on! One more round! Let's go!

1524
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:42,199
- You didn't drive?
- No!

1525
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:44,439
You ain't gonna go and get all
crazy in here. Take this.

1526
01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:45,901
There you go. Right there.

1527
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:47,559
- What is that?
- It's a hangover patch!

1528
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:49,239
- Awesome!
- Okay!

1529
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:51,304
Happy new year!

1530
01:11:56,920 --> 01:11:59,399
Debbie! Oh, my God!

1531
01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:03,864
I can't believe you're here!
This is so great.

1532
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:06,599
I can't do this.

1533
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,879
No, listen. We'll go, we're
gonna find Danny and then...

1534
01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:11,119
Danny just wants to
be with his boys.

1535
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:13,119
I don't even know why I'm here.

1536
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:15,079
This isn't fun any more.

1537
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:18,031
So, we'll make it fun, Deb.

1538
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:20,263
I'm done. Okay?

1539
01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:21,661
I'm calling a cab.

1540
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:25,199
- This is gonna be my year.
- Right. Yeah.

1541
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,439
Stop that! I don't like that. Stop.

1542
01:12:26,440 --> 01:12:28,742
Danny, I'm going home.

1543
01:12:29,440 --> 01:12:30,559
Wow.

1544
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:32,839
Joan, you were right.
Your friend is boring.

1545
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:35,679
Hey, don't call my friend
boring, dick-breath.

1546
01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:37,879
- Joan.
- Damn it, Joan!

1547
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:40,039
- I was just joking.
- Okay.

1548
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,759
Shouldn't you be arguing
with Bernie anyway?

1549
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,159
I mean, that's what
you guys do best.

1550
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:45,399
- Don't disrespect me. I'm not doing...
- What?

1551
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,239
You gonna throw me under the bus?
Gonna bring it right here.

1552
01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:48,746
- For no reason.
- My bad.

1553
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,079
Deb, listen, we just got here.

1554
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:54,359
It's a party. It's a celebration.
It's New Year's Eve!

1555
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:55,786
Are you coming, or what?

1556
01:12:56,480 --> 01:12:58,959
I really don't wanna spend
tonight of all nights

1557
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:01,422
doing what we're gonna
be doing all next year.

1558
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:04,270
Fighting.

1559
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:06,187
That's my cue.

1560
01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:11,589
No. No, Debbie, no!

1561
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,279
Fuck. Fuck, I fucked that up.

1562
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:16,319
Fucking wonderful, asshole!

1563
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:19,479
You fucked that up, I'll be
the first to tell you that.

1564
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:20,941
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.

1565
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:22,759
What was that?

1566
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:24,399
They getting good at that
arguing shit, ain't they?

1567
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:28,279
Yes, I mean, that was some legendary
Olympic 100-metre hurdle shit!

1568
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:29,999
- Hey, we gotta step our game up.
- Absolutely.

1569
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,039
- We gonna have to after that.
- Yeah.

1570
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:35,479
- Nine, eight, seven...
- Here we go.

1571
01:13:35,480 --> 01:13:38,879
- Six, five, four...
- Deb! Deb!

1572
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:42,079
Three, two, one!

1573
01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:44,428
Happy new year!

1574
01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:53,239
Happy new year.

1575
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:56,999
Listen to me. I can't stand
your goddamn guts, girl.

1576
01:13:57,000 --> 01:14:01,100
It's the new year. Give me a wet kiss.
Let me get one. Come on.

1577
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:06,199
That's what you do?

1578
01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:07,279
Was it wet enough?

1579
01:14:07,280 --> 01:14:09,100
It's just like your
damn nasty tongue.

1580
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:10,799
Jerk.

1581
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:13,910
- Happy new year, motherfucker.
- Happy new year, asshole.

1582
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:26,141
I'll be back tomorrow for
the rest of my stuff.

1583
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:28,301
Please don't be here.

1584
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:32,141
Honestly?

1585
01:14:34,280 --> 01:14:37,439
For a stupid New Year's
Eve party, Deb? Come on.

1586
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:39,583
No. And you know it.

1587
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:42,989
So why don't you just say it?

1588
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:55,710
I'm not happy.

1589
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:57,061
Yeah.

1590
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:01,199
That's been completely
obvious since Alison.

1591
01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:04,399
Stop acting like I cheated on you.
I never cheated on you.

1592
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:06,987
I didn't realise it was
such a sacrifice for you.

1593
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:15,709
You think you're the only one who
turned down sex from their ex?

1594
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:20,271
So you're not happy either?

1595
01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:23,759
Why should we still
try and do this?

1596
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:25,141
Because I love you,

1597
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:28,589
and just because shit is fucked up right
now doesn't mean you stop trying.

1598
01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:34,671
- Deb.
- Did you ever love me?

1599
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:39,469
Or was it just some really
long one-night stand?

1600
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:46,586
I don't know.

1601
01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:49,221
God.

1602
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:26,267
<i>Let me see.</i>

1603
01:16:26,320 --> 01:16:29,719
Is there anything else she
wanted me to pick up?

1604
01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:33,149
Dining room table, sorry
excuse for a man?

1605
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:37,702
Nope. She specifically said she
didn't want that shit any more.

1606
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,742
And by the way,
I know this sucks for you.

1607
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:43,669
I feel really bad.

1608
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:45,759
I bet you've been waiting
a long time to say that.

1609
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:47,744
Way too long.

1610
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,269
I'm so happy to have
my old roommate back.

1611
01:16:57,360 --> 01:17:00,061
Hey, don't floss after
you eat all that.

1612
01:17:07,440 --> 01:17:09,039
You want another one?

1613
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:11,159
- What did you just say?
- You want another beer?

1614
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:13,279
- What are you doing?
- I'm asking if you want a drink.

1615
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:15,879
Why are you down here checking
on me? Why'd you leave them?

1616
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:17,719
I'm working, they're good.
You want a drink?

1617
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:19,639
- Do you see what's down there?
- Yes.

1618
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:20,719
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

1619
01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:21,799
Let me see you look down there.

1620
01:17:21,800 --> 01:17:23,039
Are we looking in the
same damn direction?

1621
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:24,879
- Yeah, we are.
- Tell me where. What are we looking at?

1622
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:26,559
Five pieces of pussy.

1623
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:28,559
That's what we're looking at. And
you came down to check on me?

1624
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:30,919
What the fuck do you want me to do?
They're my customers. I'm at work.

1625
01:17:30,920 --> 01:17:32,479
- You're Debbie-whipped!
- I'm not comfortable.

1626
01:17:32,480 --> 01:17:33,559
Dude, it's just like
being pussy-whipped,

1627
01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:35,439
except you're dealing with
one specific piece of pussy!

1628
01:17:35,440 --> 01:17:36,559
- What do I want you to...
- Listen.

1629
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:39,639
I want you to fuck these bitches,
Danny! Damn it, man!

1630
01:17:39,640 --> 01:17:42,319
Dude, if you don't go down there and
talk to these fucking women, Danny,

1631
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:44,384
I swear to God, we are
no longer friends.

1632
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:46,065
We are no longer friends!

1633
01:17:46,960 --> 01:17:49,706
Now either you talk to them,
or you give me your face.

1634
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,559
The only reason why I was promoted
was because of this man right here.

1635
01:17:59,560 --> 01:18:01,559
He threw his job away on
a dream and a prayer.

1636
01:18:01,560 --> 01:18:05,039
To Danny, for dropping out, so
idiots like me can get ahead.

1637
01:18:05,040 --> 01:18:06,990
To Danny!

1638
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:17,919
- Sorry about that.
- What a cute dog.

1639
01:18:17,920 --> 01:18:20,507
- Thanks.
- He must take after his daddy.

1640
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:28,519
- I can't.
- What?

1641
01:18:28,520 --> 01:18:30,599
I'm thinking of someone else.

1642
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,140
You're really...

1643
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:33,799
Nice.

1644
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,670
Have a good evening.

1645
01:18:36,440 --> 01:18:39,079
All I'm saying is you
can't be so picky.

1646
01:18:39,080 --> 01:18:40,639
I mean, no one is gonna be Danny.

1647
01:18:40,640 --> 01:18:42,159
But you had Danny and
now you don't want him.

1648
01:18:42,160 --> 01:18:46,279
When you had it good, even if it went
bad, you can't go back to faking it.

1649
01:18:46,280 --> 01:18:48,079
Honey, I get it. I get it.

1650
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:50,599
- Are you seeing someone?
- No, why?

1651
01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:53,621
I don't know, it just looks like you
gained some relationship weight.

1652
01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:03,679
So you didn't close? You leave a
classy chick like that hanging?

1653
01:19:03,680 --> 01:19:06,359
No, man, classy? I picked
her up at a dog park, man.

1654
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:07,679
I'm sorry, Danny.

1655
01:19:07,680 --> 01:19:10,519
Real quick, did I miss the wealth of
black-tie events you've been attending?

1656
01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:11,679
What are you talking about?

1657
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:13,199
I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know what happened.

1658
01:19:13,200 --> 01:19:16,399
Look at me. You gotta move
on, man. That's crazy.

1659
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:19,959
Yeah. You know what, speaking of which,
should I go before Keller gets back?

1660
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,199
- No, stop it. You're fine.
- You sure?

1661
01:19:21,200 --> 01:19:22,359
Yes, you're fine.

1662
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:25,159
Hey, you know I could probably
get you your job back here.

1663
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:26,679
Now that I've got major
string-pulling abilities.

1664
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:27,759
I'm good.

1665
01:19:27,760 --> 01:19:30,679
I can tell you're good. Passing
up perfectly good dog park pussy!

1666
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:31,759
Hey, you know what?

1667
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:32,839
There is something
you can do for me.

1668
01:19:32,840 --> 01:19:35,679
If you're willing to pull
those, you know, strings.

1669
01:19:35,680 --> 01:19:36,839
What do you need?

1670
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:38,141
What is that?

1671
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:40,479
Puppets. Strings.

1672
01:19:40,480 --> 01:19:42,987
Puppet master. That's puppets...

1673
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:44,519
Controlling it.

1674
01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:45,919
You need some ice, don't you?

1675
01:19:45,920 --> 01:19:47,221
No, I...

1676
01:19:48,920 --> 01:19:54,079
Amanda, be a doll, please, and bring a
cup of ice in here and some napkins.

1677
01:19:54,080 --> 01:19:55,479
Thank you.

1678
01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:57,305
Moving up in the chain.

1679
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:02,159
- You got something to say? Say it.
- All right.

1680
01:20:02,160 --> 01:20:04,599
You ever thought about doing a little
something extra with this place?

1681
01:20:04,600 --> 01:20:07,119
Like what? You say karaoke night,
I'm gonna punch you in the face.

1682
01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:11,559
Okay. Like, turn the courtyard
into a beer garden.

1683
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:15,279
Maybe get some patio dining going.
Expand the menu just a smidge.

1684
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:16,759
Of course I've thought about it.

1685
01:20:16,760 --> 01:20:18,479
You know what it costs to
do something like that?

1686
01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:19,839
- I have some savings.
- Yeah.

1687
01:20:19,840 --> 01:20:22,199
I can get Bernie to help
out on the supply side.

1688
01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:24,159
But why not take out a second
mortgage on this place,

1689
01:20:24,160 --> 01:20:25,359
put some real money in here?

1690
01:20:25,360 --> 01:20:28,100
Now you're talking like you're
gonna stick around for a while.

1691
01:20:28,120 --> 01:20:29,199
And if I did?

1692
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:30,661
I'd call the bank today.

1693
01:20:31,520 --> 01:20:33,470
- Call the bank.
- Yeah.

1694
01:20:35,920 --> 01:20:39,906
Bernie. Come on, man, we gotta
get this stuff to the bar, baby.

1695
01:20:40,240 --> 01:20:43,191
Can't steal shit without
the puppet master.

1696
01:20:47,440 --> 01:20:48,946
Bernie?

1697
01:20:49,720 --> 01:20:50,759
Shit.

1698
01:20:50,760 --> 01:20:52,079
Making that thing cluck, ain't you?

1699
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:53,199
Sorry, man.

1700
01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:55,159
What you doing? Why you stopping?

1701
01:20:55,160 --> 01:20:56,359
Sorry.

1702
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,719
Danny Boy. Fuck a baby!

1703
01:20:58,720 --> 01:21:00,119
Yo, is it 3:00 already?

1704
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:02,707
- Hey, man! Close the door!
- Yeah, right. My bad.

1705
01:21:02,840 --> 01:21:04,869
On the other side, you asshole!

1706
01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:07,279
- Let me finish this off.
- No, we're not finishing anything!

1707
01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:09,319
What you mean we ain't going to?
We gonna finish.

1708
01:21:09,320 --> 01:21:12,199
- There it is. Erection's gone.
- Why didn't you lock the door?

1709
01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:13,279
You show up with a chicken mask!

1710
01:21:13,280 --> 01:21:14,319
Did you want people
to come up in here

1711
01:21:14,320 --> 01:21:16,599
while I'm wearing a chicken mask
and you're clucking and fucking?

1712
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:17,879
Baby, calm down. Baby, calm down.

1713
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:20,180
- You told me you wanted to fuck a chicken!
- Joan?

1714
01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:24,548
Hey, man! Close the damn door!

1715
01:21:26,440 --> 01:21:27,741
Are you gonna stop?

1716
01:21:29,040 --> 01:21:32,799
Are you gonna let me explain myself?
I'm serious. Can you stop?

1717
01:21:32,800 --> 01:21:37,719
Look, I didn't say anything to you
because this little situation

1718
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:39,639
works for us, man.

1719
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:42,546
Dude, you have no idea
how sexy this shit is.

1720
01:21:43,360 --> 01:21:45,599
We treat each other
like shit in public,

1721
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:48,904
but then out of nowhere, we turn
around and we fucking like porn stars.

1722
01:21:49,280 --> 01:21:53,426
I mean, there's so much built-up
tension and energy, man.

1723
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:56,826
Why do we have to do what
everybody else does?

1724
01:21:56,880 --> 01:22:00,502
I mean, I feel like we could have a
relationship without all that bullshit, man.

1725
01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:04,460
We didn't get it right the first time.
So what? Fuck it!

1726
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:06,679
Honestly, fuck it.

1727
01:22:06,680 --> 01:22:09,359
Who says that we even gotta
get it right at all?

1728
01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:12,439
I mean, if you take away
all the conventions,

1729
01:22:12,440 --> 01:22:15,239
being in an honest
relationship is the most

1730
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:17,959
freeing feeling in the world, man.

1731
01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:22,279
I can be me by just being me, and
she can be her by just being her.

1732
01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:25,948
And when I'm with her...
Oh, my God.

1733
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:27,980
There's no place
else I'd rather be.

1734
01:22:28,440 --> 01:22:33,667
When I'm not with her, that's
the only place that I wanna be.

1735
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:38,381
You get it? Like, do you
understand what I'm saying?

1736
01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:40,021
Yeah.

1737
01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:42,865
Yeah, I've been there, brother.

1738
01:22:43,800 --> 01:22:45,590
It's mind-blowing.

1739
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:50,984
That's why I don't like to talk to
you, you get all sensitive and shit.

1740
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:54,267
Hey, let me get two
Stranahan's. Neat, please.

1741
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:56,919
I'm fine. I don't need no tap.

1742
01:22:56,920 --> 01:22:58,381
I'm good.

1743
01:23:03,480 --> 01:23:05,350
I'm Bernie, baby.

1744
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:06,986
You know me.

1745
01:23:09,440 --> 01:23:10,946
I love you.

1746
01:23:11,680 --> 01:23:12,981
Yeah.

1747
01:23:28,560 --> 01:23:30,624
HDMI, right?

1748
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:32,904
Hey, here we go.

1749
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:35,905
Great play.

1750
01:23:36,680 --> 01:23:39,108
Not the same as being there.

1751
01:23:39,240 --> 01:23:41,349
No, it's not the same.

1752
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:50,145
Nothing is.

1753
01:24:05,800 --> 01:24:09,070
Super casual.
Come on, Danny, relax.

1754
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:11,239
Deborah Sullivan.

1755
01:24:11,240 --> 01:24:13,519
Hey, stranger. How's it going?

1756
01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:15,239
I really need an assistant.

1757
01:24:15,240 --> 01:24:16,439
What's that?

1758
01:24:16,440 --> 01:24:18,079
<i>You know what,
I kind of can't hear you.</i>

1759
01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:19,919
I guess I got bad
reception in here.

1760
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,399
<i>Let's just talk over lunch.</i>

1761
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:22,986
You're not serious.

1762
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:24,860
Yeah, I am.

1763
01:24:26,600 --> 01:24:28,823
Okay, look...

1764
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:32,784
These last few months
have just been miserable.

1765
01:24:33,920 --> 01:24:35,839
<i>I can't stand going out</i>

1766
01:24:35,840 --> 01:24:38,381
or being at home

1767
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:41,905
because, you know,
that reminds me of you.

1768
01:24:42,920 --> 01:24:44,506
I can't sleep.

1769
01:24:45,400 --> 01:24:47,748
Pacino can't sleep.

1770
01:24:49,480 --> 01:24:52,624
Everything's just kind of
falling apart, Deb, and...

1771
01:24:53,400 --> 01:24:54,747
Because I miss you.

1772
01:24:54,880 --> 01:24:56,750
<i>I need to see you.</i>

1773
01:24:58,000 --> 01:25:00,462
Actually, I want to see you.

1774
01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:05,199
- If you just give me one more chance...
- Danny.

1775
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:06,319
- I know I can...
<i>- Danny.</i>

1776
01:25:06,320 --> 01:25:07,667
Danny.

1777
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:08,959
<i>I gotta yo. Bye.</i>

1778
01:25:08,960 --> 01:25:10,386
No. No, no, don't...

1779
01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:34,959
<i>- So the hemiparesis is on the affected side.
- That's correct, on the left side.</i>

1780
01:25:34,960 --> 01:25:36,719
<i>Which then is consistent with...</i>

1781
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:38,039
No! What are you doing?

1782
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:41,359
This is your first vacation in three
years, and you spend it with Hugh Laurie.

1783
01:25:41,360 --> 01:25:44,999
He's the only person in the world who
understands me. He's really smart.

1784
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:46,359
You know why, Deb?

1785
01:25:46,360 --> 01:25:49,719
Because Dr House knows something that
Debbie Sullivan has yet to discover.

1786
01:25:49,720 --> 01:25:50,839
What?

1787
01:25:50,840 --> 01:25:54,269
All the answers in the world
won't solve your problems.

1788
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:56,559
Call him.

1789
01:25:56,560 --> 01:25:58,703
You know you want to.

1790
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:01,706
And also,

1791
01:26:02,640 --> 01:26:04,119
I'm seeing Bernie again.

1792
01:26:04,120 --> 01:26:06,359
- I know.
- How?

1793
01:26:06,360 --> 01:26:08,947
Come on. I'm depressed,
I'm not stupid.

1794
01:26:30,360 --> 01:26:32,150
Yeah, baby!

1795
01:26:58,680 --> 01:26:59,981
Don't hurt it.

1796
01:27:12,600 --> 01:27:13,947
I got it.

1797
01:27:17,200 --> 01:27:18,501
Heaven.

1798
01:27:19,440 --> 01:27:20,946
Eureka.

1799
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:24,479
Wow, this looks great.
You guys really went all out.

1800
01:27:24,480 --> 01:27:27,719
- Thank you.
- Well, it's a very special evening.

1801
01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:28,999
Are you pregnant?

1802
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:32,679
What? Hell, no. Come on, don't you
say no shit like that. Come on, Deb.

1803
01:27:32,680 --> 01:27:35,759
I mean, if you wanna have a baby, baby,
you know, I'm for what you want to do.

1804
01:27:35,760 --> 01:27:38,159
So don't ever think
that's in question.

1805
01:27:38,160 --> 01:27:41,279
So, are you coming to my
birthday dinner next week?

1806
01:27:41,280 --> 01:27:43,639
Yeah. Is Danny coming?

1807
01:27:43,640 --> 01:27:46,119
- He won't be there, Deb.
- Invite him. It's his best friend.

1808
01:27:46,120 --> 01:27:48,999
Me? Friends? No,
I don't have no friends.

1809
01:27:49,000 --> 01:27:51,519
Deb, you don't even know that
about me. I don't believe in friends.

1810
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:53,519
Only thing I believe in is Joan

1811
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:56,279
and whatever undiscovered mystery's
lying between those legs of hers.

1812
01:27:56,280 --> 01:27:59,470
- My God.
- You look so good in this light.

1813
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:03,679
Don't you mess around and get
into trouble on this table.

1814
01:28:03,680 --> 01:28:06,639
- Stop it. You better stop it.
- Don't get in trouble. I'll take it.

1815
01:28:06,640 --> 01:28:09,359
Anyway, it is my birthday
and what I say goes. Right?

1816
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:12,159
Obviously. That's done. You already
know I'm on board with that.

1817
01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:13,359
It's the phone. I'll get it.

1818
01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:15,559
- You got it, baby?
- You guys start. Yep. It's fine.

1819
01:28:15,560 --> 01:28:18,864
- Girl, you look good! Real good.
- Bernie, stop it!

1820
01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:20,507
This looks so good.

1821
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:24,159
- Shut up! Girl, look at me. Get the bag.
- What's this?

1822
01:28:24,160 --> 01:28:27,359
Listen to me. The food is vile.
You hear me? The bitch cannot cook.

1823
01:28:27,360 --> 01:28:29,719
Whatever you do, you do not
swallow the fucking food.

1824
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:30,959
What you're gonna do is this.

1825
01:28:30,960 --> 01:28:33,719
You wait till she not looking,
spit it in the bag, get low.

1826
01:28:33,720 --> 01:28:36,399
Put it in the fucking bag. After you
do that, throw that shit in the trash.

1827
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:38,639
Do it fast, 'cause if the food eat
through the bag, she'll smell it.

1828
01:28:38,640 --> 01:28:39,839
All right? You're not listening.

1829
01:28:39,840 --> 01:28:41,039
You don't give a shit
about what I'm saying.

1830
01:28:41,040 --> 01:28:43,239
Okay, I gotta die for it,
don't mean you have to.

1831
01:28:43,240 --> 01:28:44,919
You on your own.
I tried to tell you.

1832
01:28:44,920 --> 01:28:46,949
Here she comes. Put the bag down.

1833
01:28:47,080 --> 01:28:48,399
Telemarketers.

1834
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:50,239
- Oh, God.
- Awful.

1835
01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,039
They just ring and ring...
Baby, you didn't eat anything.

1836
01:28:52,040 --> 01:28:54,519
Well, I'm waiting on you. I'm
not gonna eat without my baby.

1837
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:56,504
Can you believe this one?

1838
01:28:57,400 --> 01:28:58,906
Here, take some.

1839
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:01,439
Before we do that, let's do
the thing before we eat.

1840
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:02,519
What thing?

1841
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:06,108
- This is time for our special announcement.
- It is.

1842
01:29:06,720 --> 01:29:09,759
I would like to take this
time to propose a toast.

1843
01:29:09,760 --> 01:29:12,759
Now, I don't know to what extent
you and Joan have talked about

1844
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:15,799
the magic that's been going
on in our relationship.

1845
01:29:15,800 --> 01:29:16,919
Magic?

1846
01:29:16,920 --> 01:29:18,359
Let him finish.
He wants to do this.

1847
01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:20,519
Baby, that's not true.
Okay, I don't want to do it.

1848
01:29:20,520 --> 01:29:22,599
I'm doing it because we
agreed that I'm better at it.

1849
01:29:22,600 --> 01:29:25,519
- No. We didn't.
- Yes, we did.

1850
01:29:25,520 --> 01:29:26,599
No.

1851
01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:28,599
Yes. You were worried about
how she was going to take it.

1852
01:29:28,600 --> 01:29:30,079
I said it's about the presentation.

1853
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:32,279
No, I said that because
I'm the one with her,

1854
01:29:32,280 --> 01:29:34,399
that I see her upset and
crying all the time.

1855
01:29:34,400 --> 01:29:36,079
No, baby. That's a lie. You
were the one talking about

1856
01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:37,639
she gonna slit her wrists
and all this shit.

1857
01:29:37,640 --> 01:29:39,759
Hey, hey! I'm moving out.

1858
01:29:39,760 --> 01:29:41,479
- Okay?
- No.

1859
01:29:41,480 --> 01:29:43,239
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1860
01:29:43,240 --> 01:29:45,399
- Yeah.
- No. No. What?

1861
01:29:45,400 --> 01:29:47,559
I found a place. I'm moving
out end of the month.

1862
01:29:47,560 --> 01:29:49,199
- You're not mad?
- No! Of course not.

1863
01:29:49,200 --> 01:29:50,359
Thank you so much,

1864
01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,119
because if you were mad at me, you
know what, I would totally understand.

1865
01:29:53,120 --> 01:29:56,239
Because I gave you so much shit
about moving in with a guy.

1866
01:29:56,240 --> 01:29:57,439
And then, I turn around
and have Bernie move in.

1867
01:29:57,440 --> 01:30:00,359
Although, we were together longer
than you and what's-his-name.

1868
01:30:00,360 --> 01:30:02,759
- Even though we weren't technically...
- We were together a lot longer.

1869
01:30:02,760 --> 01:30:04,439
We were, we were.
It was on. It was magic.

1870
01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:06,119
Yes. And we were happier.

1871
01:30:06,120 --> 01:30:07,319
- Their shit was fucked up.
- It was fucked up!

1872
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,719
And I said in the beginning
that wasn't gonna last.

1873
01:30:08,720 --> 01:30:10,079
No, no, no, remember
we had over and under.

1874
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:13,159
You know, crash and burn. Crash
and burn. That's what we called them.

1875
01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:14,599
Oh, my God.

1876
01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:16,839
Okay, okay, okay. I get it.

1877
01:30:16,840 --> 01:30:18,839
It's cool, I just didn't think
you were one of those girls

1878
01:30:18,840 --> 01:30:21,239
that drop your friends the second
you get some regular dick.

1879
01:30:21,240 --> 01:30:22,519
You got me.

1880
01:30:22,520 --> 01:30:26,439
Back up. Regular dick? Ain't
nothing regular about my dick.

1881
01:30:26,440 --> 01:30:29,999
My dick is completely irregular.
Okay, let's set that record straight.

1882
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:31,679
- You got him started.
- I give it two months.

1883
01:30:31,680 --> 01:30:35,439
Hey, before we drink, so, like, what are
we talking about with you being out?

1884
01:30:35,440 --> 01:30:37,519
- No rush.
- But let's put a number to it.

1885
01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:39,119
It's the 10th,
so you're talking 13...

1886
01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:40,999
- This month has 30 or 31...
- Thirty-one days.

1887
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:43,119
- That's gonna be crazy.
- If it's 13, it's okay.

1888
01:30:43,120 --> 01:30:44,999
- To you guys!
- Thank you.

1889
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:47,826
Man. Butt-naked, running
around the house.

1890
01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:50,039
It's on! It's on!

1891
01:30:50,040 --> 01:30:52,183
Your food should be
right up, all right?

1892
01:30:52,320 --> 01:30:53,959
How was he?

1893
01:30:53,960 --> 01:30:56,519
- Great.
- Hey, buddy. Hello.

1894
01:30:56,520 --> 01:30:58,519
He's getting really strong
and he pulls a lot.

1895
01:30:58,520 --> 01:30:59,759
Maybe you should get him
a harness or something.

1896
01:30:59,760 --> 01:31:02,559
Will do, will do. Thanks
for taking care of him.

1897
01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:04,191
Sure. I mean, it's my job.

1898
01:31:04,680 --> 01:31:05,839
So, I'll see you Tuesday.

1899
01:31:05,840 --> 01:31:08,108
Yeah. All right.

1900
01:31:09,640 --> 01:31:12,022
Nice dog walker.

1901
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:20,590
Hey. Danny Martin,
professional friend.

1902
01:31:20,720 --> 01:31:22,719
Hey, what you gonna do, man?
You coming to the Broadway bar?

1903
01:31:22,720 --> 01:31:26,159
Yeah, I'm just right around the corner,
man. I gotta walk Pacino home.

1904
01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:27,239
<i>Well, hurry up.</i>

1905
01:31:27,240 --> 01:31:29,039
Tell him <i>Scent of a Woman</i>
came out on Blu-ray.

1906
01:31:29,040 --> 01:31:31,300
That always makes him take
a shit when I walk him.

1907
01:31:32,040 --> 01:31:33,387
Pacino!

1908
01:31:33,480 --> 01:31:36,351
Hey! Pacino! Pacino!

1909
01:31:39,920 --> 01:31:42,063
Out of the road, asshole!

1910
01:31:42,840 --> 01:31:44,141
Hey.

1911
01:31:44,160 --> 01:31:45,461
Hey.

1912
01:31:46,080 --> 01:31:47,919
He's so big.

1913
01:31:47,920 --> 01:31:49,839
Yeah, he's all grown up now.

1914
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:51,559
Yeah. I'll say.

1915
01:31:51,560 --> 01:31:53,862
I hope to be just like him one day.

1916
01:31:56,760 --> 01:31:58,279
- Are you going to Joan's?
- Yeah.

1917
01:31:58,280 --> 01:32:00,439
You know, they told me you weren't
coming, so I wouldn't have...

1918
01:32:00,440 --> 01:32:04,559
No, it's cool. I'm sure
they couldn't resist.

1919
01:32:04,560 --> 01:32:06,079
- You think?
- Yeah.

1920
01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:08,223
I mean, old habits
die hard with them.

1921
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,271
You look good.

1922
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:12,861
You, too.

1923
01:32:13,920 --> 01:32:17,079
And Pacino looks
handsome and happy.

1924
01:32:17,080 --> 01:32:18,599
He's doing all right.

1925
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:20,823
Good boy. Good boy.

1926
01:32:21,560 --> 01:32:23,066
Good boy.

1927
01:32:26,440 --> 01:32:29,479
I was just gonna take him
for a walk around the park.

1928
01:32:29,480 --> 01:32:34,183
You wanna... I mean, I'm sure Pacino
would want to spend some quality time.

1929
01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:36,340
Yeah, sure.

1930
01:32:39,800 --> 01:32:41,279
She's not responding.

1931
01:32:41,280 --> 01:32:42,879
I think he's gonna
flake on me, too.

1932
01:32:42,880 --> 01:32:44,159
Wait, do they know we
tried to set them up?

1933
01:32:44,160 --> 01:32:45,559
Yeah, baby. I mean,
they're not stupid.

1934
01:32:45,560 --> 01:32:47,799
Wait, no, I take that back,
because Danny is a little slow.

1935
01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:48,919
Debbie ain't no rocket scientist.

1936
01:32:48,920 --> 01:32:51,319
Danny might be in the top two dumbest
people I've ever met in my life.

1937
01:32:51,320 --> 01:32:52,799
That bitch barely thinks,
you know what I mean?

1938
01:32:52,800 --> 01:32:55,102
I think she spells her
name with one "B".

1939
01:32:56,560 --> 01:32:58,305
Dumbass couple.

1940
01:32:58,320 --> 01:32:59,759
Stupid as fuck. Right?

1941
01:32:59,760 --> 01:33:02,879
That's why I feel so bad, because
who else is gonna be with them?

1942
01:33:02,880 --> 01:33:04,359
- I mean, they're dumb.
- That's true.

1943
01:33:04,360 --> 01:33:06,599
When you got two people that
dumb, they gotta stay together.

1944
01:33:06,600 --> 01:33:08,199
That's true. You know what,
I think it takes us down,

1945
01:33:08,200 --> 01:33:09,879
hanging around them
the way that we were.

1946
01:33:09,880 --> 01:33:14,279
I felt that. I felt muted. My whole
time, I felt like I thought for her.

1947
01:33:14,280 --> 01:33:16,719
That's crazy, 'cause I swear I had the
same thing. I remember one time,

1948
01:33:16,720 --> 01:33:19,359
Danny was talking and I'm looking at
him while he talking and I'm like...

1949
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:21,679
- I daydream when Debbie talks.
- It's like something else is going on.

1950
01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:23,559
- That's what I try to do.
- Ignorance.

1951
01:33:23,560 --> 01:33:27,999
And that is why I feel awful. I mean,
you know, they keep avoiding each other.

1952
01:33:28,000 --> 01:33:31,039
- Yeah.
- Dodging each other. They were so in love.

1953
01:33:31,040 --> 01:33:32,639
That's how it is sometimes,
though. You know that.

1954
01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:33,679
I know, I hate...

1955
01:33:33,680 --> 01:33:35,359
- Happy birthday!
- There we go.

1956
01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:37,479
Wait a minute, baby,
is this cake chocolate?

1957
01:33:37,480 --> 01:33:40,359
Chocolate cake, chocolate
icing, chocolate filling.

1958
01:33:40,360 --> 01:33:41,719
Yeah, but I'm allergic
to chocolate.

1959
01:33:41,720 --> 01:33:43,351
I know.

1960
01:33:46,120 --> 01:33:47,467
I fucking love you.

1961
01:33:49,480 --> 01:33:51,999
Did you just say, "I love you"?

1962
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:53,959
No, I didn't finish my
sentence, is what I did.

1963
01:33:53,960 --> 01:33:55,239
Yes, you did.

1964
01:33:55,240 --> 01:33:58,159
I said I fucking love, and I was about
to say something on the back of it.

1965
01:33:58,160 --> 01:33:59,679
Bernie, you are such a girl.

1966
01:33:59,680 --> 01:34:01,639
- Whatever.
- I do love you.

1967
01:34:01,640 --> 01:34:02,719
Better love me.

1968
01:34:02,720 --> 01:34:06,103
You can break my heart if you
want to. Love you, too.

1969
01:34:10,400 --> 01:34:11,701
Listen.

1970
01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:15,701
I'm sorry

1971
01:34:17,080 --> 01:34:18,791
for everything.

1972
01:34:19,840 --> 01:34:21,141
Truly.

1973
01:34:21,240 --> 01:34:22,541
Me, too.

1974
01:34:24,120 --> 01:34:26,679
And I'm glad you're doing so well.

1975
01:34:26,680 --> 01:34:28,220
You, too.

1976
01:34:28,920 --> 01:34:33,599
I think we're just
gonna stay in tonight,

1977
01:34:33,600 --> 01:34:37,541
so you should go have a good
time with Bernie and Joan and...

1978
01:34:38,880 --> 01:34:40,386
I think I Will.

1979
01:34:44,880 --> 01:34:46,625
Do you wanna

1980
01:34:48,640 --> 01:34:51,227
go out sometime?

1981
01:34:51,720 --> 01:34:53,021
Yeah.

1982
01:34:54,320 --> 01:34:57,271
Yeah. We should catch up.

1983
01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:03,141
We're gonna do once
more around the block.

1984
01:35:04,120 --> 01:35:05,559
Do you wanna join us?

1985
01:35:05,560 --> 01:35:08,591
Yeah. I think I Will.

1986
01:35:08,760 --> 01:35:09,839
Yeah?

1987
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,187
Yeah.

1988
01:35:24,320 --> 01:35:27,021
Pacino, let's go.

1989
01:35:39,800 --> 01:35:40,879
<i>Let's make a toast.</i>

1990
01:35:40,880 --> 01:35:42,159
What are we toasting to?

1991
01:35:42,160 --> 01:35:44,039
To Danny and Debbie.

1992
01:35:44,040 --> 01:35:45,199
Okay.

1993
01:35:45,200 --> 01:35:46,839
May we never end up like them.

1994
01:35:46,840 --> 01:35:48,439
Okay. I'm not trying to do that.

1995
01:35:48,440 --> 01:35:50,159
That shit is jacked up.

1996
01:35:50,160 --> 01:35:51,999
- I'd take you out.
- Yeah.

1997
01:35:52,000 --> 01:35:54,999
I'd cut off your oxygen, that shit
happen. I'll make you suffer.

1998
01:35:55,000 --> 01:35:56,319
You gonna cut off my oxygen?

1999
01:35:56,320 --> 01:35:59,559
- Don't fuck with me, Bernie.
- I'll take your lips off, feed it to the dog.

2000
01:35:59,560 --> 01:36:00,879
I'm gonna take your
teeth out one by one.

2001
01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:01,999
I'll cut your nipples off.

2002
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:05,199
I bet I'd sew your balls together,
like one. You're gonna have one nut.

2003
01:36:05,200 --> 01:36:06,919
You're gonna leave me
with a punching bag?

2004
01:36:06,920 --> 01:36:08,631
One-nut Bernie.

2004
01:36:09,305 --> 01:36:15,844
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