1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:00,500 *S 2 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:00,900 *Su 3 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:01,300 *Sub 4 00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:01,700 *Subs 5 00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:02,100 *Subs B 6 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:02,500 *Subs By 7 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:02,900 *Subs By M 8 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:03,300 *Subs By Mo 9 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:03,700 *Subs By Mov 10 00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:04,100 *Subs By Movi 11 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:04,500 *Subs By Movie 12 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:04,900 *Subs By Movie E 13 00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:05,300 *Subs By Movie Ey 14 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:05,700 *Subs By Movie Eye 15 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:06,100 *Subs By Movie Eye L 16 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:06,500 *Subs By Movie Eye La 17 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:06,900 *Subs By Movie Eye Lan 18 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:07,300 *Subs By Movie Eye Land 19 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:07,700 *Subs By Movie Eye Land* 20 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:08,100 *Subs By Movie Eye Land* 21 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,120 *Subs By Movie Eye Land* www.MoviEyeLand.com 22 00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:14,353 [Desmond] In every group of friends, there's always one guy 23 00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:17,990 who can best be described as the inappropriate one. 24 00:00:17,992 --> 00:00:20,459 I call that guy a Barry. 25 00:00:20,461 --> 00:00:24,997 A Barry says and does things other people only think. 26 00:00:24,999 --> 00:00:28,834 And he does not know the word propriety. 27 00:00:28,836 --> 00:00:30,669 There are all kinds of Barrys. 28 00:00:30,671 --> 00:00:32,371 Old Barrys... 29 00:00:34,574 --> 00:00:36,542 young Barrys... 30 00:00:38,879 --> 00:00:41,213 and Barrys all over the world. 31 00:00:44,684 --> 00:00:47,053 And that's me and my three best friends when we were ten. 32 00:00:47,055 --> 00:00:48,921 The one on the end, that's our Barry. 33 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,990 His name is Barry. 34 00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:53,259 Growing up we thought Barry was hilarious. 35 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,894 He played pranks on girls, 36 00:00:54,896 --> 00:00:57,196 he infuriated teachers 37 00:00:57,198 --> 00:00:58,731 and we loved him for it. 38 00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:00,399 But, as we've gotten older, 39 00:01:00,401 --> 00:01:02,935 and started having careers, wives, and families, 40 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,003 he's become an embarrassment, 41 00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:06,739 a detriment to our livelihoods and reputations, 42 00:01:06,741 --> 00:01:09,208 a social wrecking ball. 43 00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,043 I believe friendship has no limits. 44 00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:13,879 At least I did... until Barry went too far. 45 00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:16,549 [punk music ♪] 46 00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:20,686 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:28,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 48 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:10,970 He never, um, passed up a opportunity 49 00:02:10,972 --> 00:02:13,172 to appreciate a moment. 50 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:17,076 My, uh, dad had so many great qualities. 51 00:02:17,078 --> 00:02:20,212 Um... he was loyal. 52 00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:23,849 He always put others before himself. 53 00:02:23,851 --> 00:02:28,521 He made an indelible impression on- on everyone: 54 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,924 my mom, my son JT, and myself. 55 00:02:31,926 --> 00:02:36,462 Especially during that tough time after my wife passed away. 56 00:02:36,464 --> 00:02:39,265 So for all these reasons and uh... 57 00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:41,667 really too many more to count... 58 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:44,370 I'll miss you, Dad. 59 00:02:49,109 --> 00:02:51,443 Thank you so much, Rafe. 60 00:02:51,445 --> 00:02:53,946 Does anyone else have any remembrances 61 00:02:53,948 --> 00:02:57,116 they'd like to honor the deceased with? 62 00:02:57,118 --> 00:03:01,520 Just a simple anecdote or memory to honor him by? 63 00:03:03,056 --> 00:03:04,523 Really? 64 00:03:04,525 --> 00:03:05,958 Oh, I should say something. 65 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,226 Hm? - I should say something. 66 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,961 No you should not. - Yes, I should. 67 00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:11,063 Rafe's dad is not getting the tribute he deserves. 68 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,698 We gotta celebrate the man's life. 69 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,133 I think it's fine. It's fine. 70 00:03:14,135 --> 00:03:15,134 Next time, man. 71 00:03:15,136 --> 00:03:16,268 Next time? 72 00:03:16,703 --> 00:03:17,870 [clears throat] 73 00:03:17,872 --> 00:03:19,038 Barry. - Anyone? 74 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,139 [clears throat loudly] 75 00:03:20,141 --> 00:03:21,207 Sir? 76 00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:24,643 Barry, have you thought about what you're gonna say? 77 00:03:24,645 --> 00:03:26,212 Yeah, for years. 78 00:03:29,816 --> 00:03:30,849 No, no, no. 79 00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:32,785 Hey, hey, shh. - No, no. 80 00:03:36,189 --> 00:03:37,323 Thank you. 81 00:03:38,925 --> 00:03:40,092 I don't-- 82 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,061 Hi, ev- hi- whoa... [microphone feeds back] 83 00:03:42,063 --> 00:03:43,562 it's louder than I thought. 84 00:03:43,564 --> 00:03:46,265 My name, for those of you who don't know me, 85 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,334 is, uh, Barry Burke. 86 00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:52,171 And, uh, I been friends with Rafe, Kurt, and Desmond 87 00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:54,673 since we all went to camp together in the fifth grade. 88 00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:56,875 It was the best time of my life. 89 00:03:56,877 --> 00:03:59,578 Our motto back then was, "Pals forever," 90 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,046 and it still is today. 91 00:04:01,048 --> 00:04:02,781 As a matter of fact, the first time I met Rafe 92 00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:04,216 he proved to me what a great pal he was 93 00:04:04,218 --> 00:04:06,585 by pulling Suzy Henchey off me 94 00:04:06,587 --> 00:04:08,587 when she tried to choke me for kissing her. 95 00:04:08,589 --> 00:04:09,922 Do you remember that? 96 00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:11,957 Her, uh, her reaction pretty much set the trend 97 00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:14,360 for my present romantic life. 98 00:04:14,362 --> 00:04:15,561 It is not good. 99 00:04:15,563 --> 00:04:16,862 [chuckling] 100 00:04:16,864 --> 00:04:18,931 Uh, the point- the point is, um, 101 00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:21,133 I'd be remiss if I didn't say a few words about his dad, 102 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,135 because he was such a special guy to-to all of us. 103 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,971 I remember the time in sixth grade when he- 104 00:04:25,973 --> 00:04:28,574 he came to our school and snuck us out of PE. 105 00:04:28,576 --> 00:04:30,976 Took us to our first porno flick. 106 00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:32,945 I'll never forget that. 107 00:04:32,947 --> 00:04:34,680 Kurt, you popped in your pants right there in the theater. 108 00:04:34,682 --> 00:04:37,916 Kurt the Squirt, that's where that nickname came from. 109 00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:39,251 That's interesting. 110 00:04:39,253 --> 00:04:40,986 I remember thinking to myself, 111 00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,755 "Jeez, Louise, that is a lot of semen 112 00:04:42,757 --> 00:04:44,156 for a ten-year old." [chuckles] 113 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,292 I remember- I remember we all had to clean it up. 114 00:04:46,294 --> 00:04:47,226 Didn't happen. 115 00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:49,061 Talk about leaving an indelible mark. 116 00:04:49,063 --> 00:04:50,996 [laughs] I'll never forget that one. 117 00:04:50,998 --> 00:04:52,097 I think maybe you should-- 118 00:04:52,099 --> 00:04:53,599 Yeah, yeah, and I remember this other time 119 00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:55,301 in the seventh grade 120 00:04:55,303 --> 00:04:57,836 when he taught us how to smoke the weed. 121 00:04:57,838 --> 00:04:58,504 No, no, no. 122 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,505 Remember that? 123 00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,173 Yeah, he taught us how to roll it, 124 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,775 puff it, pass it. 125 00:05:02,777 --> 00:05:04,743 He taught us how to smoke weed! 126 00:05:04,745 --> 00:05:07,279 You- you got us so blazed, dude. 127 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:10,249 You got us so blazed, you just- come here. 128 00:05:10,251 --> 00:05:11,817 Sir- - Oh my God! 129 00:05:11,819 --> 00:05:13,452 Photo-op, hang on, yeah, yeah, yeah. 130 00:05:13,454 --> 00:05:15,621 You're not supposed to touch the body... 131 00:05:15,623 --> 00:05:20,159 And- and although he may have had some honey on the side, 132 00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:22,594 he loved you, Mrs. Griggs, he loved you, 133 00:05:22,596 --> 00:05:25,030 and I don't think there is a single solitary soul 134 00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:27,466 in this building who doesn't know that. 135 00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:33,172 Now, I could go on, and on, and on about this... 136 00:05:33,174 --> 00:05:34,740 ...fella, but I won't. 137 00:05:36,142 --> 00:05:38,444 We're gonna raise a glass for you tonight, Mr. Griggs, 138 00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:41,447 'cause we all know how much you like to get your drink on. 139 00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:43,816 [imitates tap noise] Boom. 140 00:05:43,818 --> 00:05:45,684 Hope they serve up there in heaven. 141 00:05:45,686 --> 00:05:47,853 All right, peace, Space Cowboy. 142 00:05:49,189 --> 00:05:50,356 [organ music ♪] 143 00:05:50,358 --> 00:05:51,690 Why do you push me? 144 00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:54,893 Thank you, Mr. Burke. 145 00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:56,195 That was... 146 00:05:56,697 --> 00:06:01,233 Um, if we could all just move to the reception area, 147 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:06,238 um, very quickly, just because I- we-- 148 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,206 Come on. 149 00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:09,007 What were you thinking Barry? 150 00:06:09,009 --> 00:06:11,710 I thought everybody knew, obviously. 151 00:06:11,712 --> 00:06:14,413 No one knew, least of all my mom. 152 00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,717 It sounded do good in my head, Rafe. 153 00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:20,386 It sounded so regal. - Regal? 154 00:06:20,388 --> 00:06:21,720 Everyone probably suspected it. 155 00:06:21,722 --> 00:06:23,655 What does that mean? - Uh, Barry-- 156 00:06:23,657 --> 00:06:25,691 Wha- it means that everyone knows you're too busy 157 00:06:25,693 --> 00:06:27,893 chasing around random skanks to spend any time with your son. 158 00:06:27,895 --> 00:06:29,228 That is so not true. 159 00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:30,329 Dad? 160 00:06:30,331 --> 00:06:32,064 Hey, buddy. You okay? 161 00:06:32,066 --> 00:06:34,400 Are you sad 'cause- 'cause Grandpa died? 162 00:06:34,402 --> 00:06:37,102 I know, buddy. It's, um, it's sad. 163 00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:40,105 It's really just sad, but, uh... 164 00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,073 ...do you know what? 165 00:06:41,075 --> 00:06:42,808 Just think of the good times and stuff. 166 00:06:44,177 --> 00:06:46,712 Hey, hey. Hey, buddy. 167 00:06:46,714 --> 00:06:47,913 Hi, Uncle Barry. 168 00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:49,281 Not doin' to good, huh? 169 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,616 No, me neither. 170 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,418 Do you remember how you and your grandpa 171 00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,685 used to get ice cream every Sunday? 172 00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:54,920 Yeah. Uh-huh. - Yeah? 173 00:06:54,922 --> 00:06:56,255 Do you want to honor him? - Yeah! 174 00:06:56,257 --> 00:06:57,456 Well hot dog! Let's honor the man! 175 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,191 What are we doin' sitting here? 176 00:06:59,193 --> 00:07:00,626 Meet me over at the dessert tray in two minutes. 177 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:01,527 We'll see who can scarf back 178 00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:03,295 three chocolate chip cookies faster. 179 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,596 My money's on me, Short Stack. All right? 180 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:05,964 Oh, and then- and then- 181 00:07:05,966 --> 00:07:08,033 and then we're gonna put some crumbs in Uncle Dan's jacket 182 00:07:08,035 --> 00:07:09,535 because Uncle Dan is a you know what. 183 00:07:09,537 --> 00:07:11,203 Scrotum. - Total scrote-bag. 184 00:07:11,205 --> 00:07:14,373 Now go ahead and swing outta here, you little monkey. 185 00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,074 Wow, man, he really loves you, Barry. 186 00:07:16,076 --> 00:07:17,709 Yeah, you just gotta make it fun, man, you know? 187 00:07:17,711 --> 00:07:18,644 It's not that hard. 188 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,878 Rafe, you know, you should go with him. 189 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,980 Yeah, I should. I'll do that. 190 00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:23,148 Uh, later. 191 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,750 Excuse me. I never got a chance to thank you. 192 00:07:24,752 --> 00:07:26,785 You run a lovely funeral, and- 193 00:07:26,787 --> 00:07:28,487 You guys are giving me shit? 194 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,889 He's trying to get laid at his dad's funeral. 195 00:07:30,891 --> 00:07:31,723 [phone vibrates] Oh. 196 00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,293 It's about the pitch. I gotta take it. 197 00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:36,762 Let's go. My feet are killing me. 198 00:07:36,764 --> 00:07:38,330 Okay, well, maybe just one moment longer, 199 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,131 you know, for Rafe, 200 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,599 because it's a big day for him. 201 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,734 Well, it's not like we can do anything for him. 202 00:07:42,736 --> 00:07:44,303 His dad's already dead. 203 00:07:44,305 --> 00:07:47,473 I just- I'll give you another foot massage. 204 00:07:47,475 --> 00:07:49,608 Whatevs. Just find me when you're ready. 205 00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:51,310 Alright, I love you-- 206 00:07:57,684 --> 00:07:58,984 Oh. 207 00:08:02,188 --> 00:08:03,589 You gotta break up with her, man. 208 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:04,289 What? 209 00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:05,324 You gotta break up with her. 210 00:08:05,326 --> 00:08:08,126 Are you on drugs? - No. 211 00:08:08,128 --> 00:08:09,194 She walks all over you. 212 00:08:09,196 --> 00:08:10,496 You- you- you- you're just too blind to see it 213 00:08:10,498 --> 00:08:11,997 because you're in shock that she talks to you, 214 00:08:11,999 --> 00:08:13,365 let alone actually dates you. 215 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,334 Okay, n- news flash, uh, 216 00:08:15,336 --> 00:08:16,435 Desmond and Rafe love her. 217 00:08:16,437 --> 00:08:17,636 No they don't. - Yeah, they do. 218 00:08:17,638 --> 00:08:18,504 No, they don't like her either. 219 00:08:18,506 --> 00:08:19,471 They're just too afraid to tell you. 220 00:08:19,473 --> 00:08:21,707 You deserve better than her. She's mean. 221 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,308 She's manipulating you with that kiss. 222 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,377 Don't you see that? I mean, yeah... 223 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,146 any guy would gladly get up to his nuts in her guts, okay? 224 00:08:28,148 --> 00:08:29,314 That's not in dispute here, okay? 225 00:08:29,316 --> 00:08:31,617 he problem is she's a twunt. 226 00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:32,851 It's a new term I'm using. 227 00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:36,054 It's a combo of two words. Guess which two. 228 00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:37,322 Twitter? - Twat and cunt. 229 00:08:37,324 --> 00:08:38,290 Ah! 230 00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:39,491 Yeah. Would you prefer cwat? 231 00:08:39,493 --> 00:08:40,492 The terms are interchangeable. 232 00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:43,228 She's not a twunt or a cwat. - She's both. 233 00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,363 No. 234 00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:45,531 She's the one. 235 00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:47,466 She's the one. [laughing] 236 00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,502 Oh, oh... 237 00:08:50,504 --> 00:08:52,070 ...oh... 238 00:08:52,072 --> 00:08:53,805 I did it again, didn't I? - Yeah. 239 00:08:53,807 --> 00:08:56,475 I'm kidding- I was kidding about her being a twunt, man. 240 00:08:56,477 --> 00:08:58,877 And about her looking like an eastern European porn star. 241 00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:01,580 You didn't say anything about her looking like an eastern European porn star. 242 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,315 Oh, not around you, no. 243 00:09:03,317 --> 00:09:07,386 Okay, you look like... a western European porn star. 244 00:09:07,388 --> 00:09:09,821 That's what I'm shooting for. 245 00:09:09,823 --> 00:09:11,823 You're the cwunt now, dawg. 246 00:09:11,825 --> 00:09:12,691 What? 247 00:09:12,693 --> 00:09:14,059 Peace. 248 00:09:14,994 --> 00:09:17,329 Cwunt's not even a word, Kurt! 249 00:09:18,565 --> 00:09:20,699 Hey JT. 250 00:09:20,701 --> 00:09:22,434 Let's get to those cookies, huh? 251 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,504 Oh, man, I feel so bad about what I did to Rafe. 252 00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:26,238 It's the only thing I can think about. 253 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,409 Man, you work with a lot of pretty ladies, don't you? 254 00:09:30,411 --> 00:09:32,411 Barry, look, I know you need somebody to talk to right now, 255 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:34,112 but you can't just drop by my office 256 00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,547 whenever you feel like it, okay? 257 00:09:35,549 --> 00:09:37,215 Yeah, yeah, uh... - This is an important time. 258 00:09:37,217 --> 00:09:38,450 We're in the last run of this pitch. 259 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,785 I'm up for creative director. 260 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,852 Are you listening? 261 00:09:40,854 --> 00:09:42,120 Yeah. - Well then-- 262 00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,422 Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. 263 00:09:43,424 --> 00:09:44,823 Who is the cutey-pie? 264 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:45,924 Yeah, that's the, uh, 265 00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,459 that's the account planner I was telling you about. 266 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,460 That's her? 267 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,628 I'd hate being around that all day. 268 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:51,129 You'd get horny enough to go home and screw your wife 269 00:09:51,131 --> 00:09:52,497 every once in a while. 270 00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:55,634 Excuse me, but Rach and I have plenty of sex. 271 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,102 Oh, you do? I-I didn't know that. 272 00:09:57,104 --> 00:09:59,705 When was the last time you had intercourse? 273 00:10:01,874 --> 00:10:02,874 Um... 274 00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:04,710 My point exactly, Desmond. 275 00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:07,079 Can I- Can I be totally blunt with you for a sec? 276 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:08,413 Can you not be blunt? - I don't think so. 277 00:10:08,415 --> 00:10:11,149 I tried one time. I had a migraine for three days. 278 00:10:11,151 --> 00:10:13,318 Your marriage is not your only problem, okay? 279 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,486 Whatever happened to high school Desmond? 280 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:15,921 He was fun! 281 00:10:15,923 --> 00:10:17,489 He, like, smoked pot every once in a while, 282 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,458 play the keys, hang out. 283 00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:23,128 Now you're like this unrecognizable workaholic robot. 284 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,563 You won't even go out for lunch with me. 285 00:10:24,565 --> 00:10:25,897 [sighs] Fine. 286 00:10:25,899 --> 00:10:27,299 We'll get lunch, okay? 287 00:10:27,301 --> 00:10:28,634 Just let me finish these storyboards. 288 00:10:28,636 --> 00:10:30,602 Oh, yeah, of course. All about the work. 289 00:10:30,604 --> 00:10:32,738 Because if we land this account, dude, 290 00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,574 it'll be a total game-changer, you know what I mean? 291 00:10:36,943 --> 00:10:38,176 Barry? 292 00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:42,547 [chewing loudly] 293 00:10:43,650 --> 00:10:45,183 Good morning. 294 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:49,755 Oh, come on. Oh my God. 295 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,160 Oh. 296 00:10:55,162 --> 00:10:57,663 That is a bad combo. - What's that? 297 00:10:57,665 --> 00:11:00,165 Lox and sausages... loxages. 298 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,366 Yeah, that's a lot of meat. 299 00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:02,501 Yeah, don't do it. - No. 300 00:11:02,503 --> 00:11:04,302 How do you get any work done around here? 301 00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:06,104 Half way to Bonerville. [laughs] 302 00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:07,339 Where's Bonerville? 303 00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:09,441 In my pants. I'm fighting a semi right now. 304 00:11:09,443 --> 00:11:11,176 A semi? - Semi hard on. 305 00:11:11,178 --> 00:11:13,111 I'm half mast from looking at all this talent around here. 306 00:11:13,113 --> 00:11:15,614 Yeah, well advertising does attract 307 00:11:15,616 --> 00:11:16,682 a lot of good-looking women, so. 308 00:11:16,684 --> 00:11:17,649 Do you work here? 309 00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:19,518 Actually, I, uh, I own the agency. 310 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,552 What?! - Yeah. 311 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,521 Nice moves, man. 312 00:11:22,523 --> 00:11:24,289 Oh, look at that. It's boner o'clock. 313 00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,991 Barry, what are you doing? Bill, I'm sorry. 314 00:11:25,993 --> 00:11:28,460 No, no, he- he's cracking' me up. 315 00:11:28,462 --> 00:11:29,394 Yeah. - What? 316 00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:30,495 Yes. I was cracking him up. 317 00:11:30,497 --> 00:11:31,963 Just telling him about how these women here 318 00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:33,365 are giving me a Woodrow Wilson. 319 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:35,834 Especially that cute brunette account planner he pointed out. 320 00:11:35,836 --> 00:11:38,570 So, uh, Bill, the pitch is going great. 321 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,272 No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, go ahead. 322 00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:42,808 I don't know what you're talking about. 323 00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:45,210 Looka-looka-looka, there she is right there. 324 00:11:45,212 --> 00:11:47,012 What are you- that one! Her! 325 00:11:47,014 --> 00:11:48,680 Desmond was telling me that back when he used to 326 00:11:48,682 --> 00:11:49,848 actually have sex with his wife, 327 00:11:49,850 --> 00:11:51,717 he used to imagine her instead. 328 00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:53,485 She was his closer, you know what I mean? 329 00:11:53,487 --> 00:11:54,753 And Bill, don't lie to me. 330 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,588 I know you've done the exact same thing. 331 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,589 I bet you I haven't. 332 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,757 Why, because you got ED? 333 00:11:58,759 --> 00:11:59,658 No... 334 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:00,726 because she's my daughter. 335 00:12:00,728 --> 00:12:02,728 [coughing] 336 00:12:05,198 --> 00:12:06,565 You made her? 337 00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:07,365 Mm-hmm. 338 00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:08,600 Des, I'm- I'm- I'm sorry. 339 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,402 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 340 00:12:10,404 --> 00:12:11,703 Seven years I put in here, Barry! 341 00:12:11,705 --> 00:12:13,672 I know, listen, I- I- I don't want you to sweat it, okay? 342 00:12:13,674 --> 00:12:14,740 I'm gonna go back in and I'm gonna talk to your boss. 343 00:12:14,742 --> 00:12:15,841 I'm gonna sort the whole thing out. 344 00:12:15,843 --> 00:12:17,576 Don't! You've done enough. 345 00:12:17,578 --> 00:12:20,078 [rock music ♪] 346 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,148 ♪ ♪ 347 00:12:24,717 --> 00:12:26,752 Des, I need a ride! - Fuck you! 348 00:12:26,754 --> 00:12:27,753 [car door slams] 349 00:12:27,755 --> 00:12:28,887 Ah, yeah. 350 00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:31,223 Kurt, it's Barry, I, uh... 351 00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:32,524 I feel terrible. 352 00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:35,627 Um, I got Desmond fired today and I- I'm outside your house. 353 00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,062 I really need to talk to somebody. 354 00:12:37,064 --> 00:12:39,698 So, uh, I'm just gonna wait here for you, all right? 355 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:40,265 Um... 356 00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:42,734 ...actually I- I remember where you keep your key. 357 00:12:42,736 --> 00:12:44,402 I think I'm just gonna let myself in. 358 00:12:44,404 --> 00:12:46,037 So, um, I- I'll see you when you get here. 359 00:12:46,039 --> 00:12:47,572 Okay, thanks, Bud. 360 00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:49,508 [dog barking in the distance] 361 00:12:51,577 --> 00:12:53,111 Yes. 362 00:12:53,113 --> 00:12:55,213 [romantic music playing ♪] 363 00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:57,649 ♪ ♪ 364 00:13:00,553 --> 00:13:01,686 What? 365 00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:04,189 Okay. 366 00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,960 What is this? 367 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:28,680 [Kurt] That was fun. [Camille] Mm-hmm. 368 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,448 [Kurt] You look so pretty tonight. 369 00:13:30,450 --> 00:13:31,683 [Camille] Oh, you keep saying that. 370 00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:32,918 Well it's true, you do! 371 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,452 Oh! [chuckles] 372 00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:35,921 I got it. Mmm. 373 00:13:35,923 --> 00:13:36,955 Thanks. 374 00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:38,857 That was a really good restaurant, huh? 375 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,325 Eh. 376 00:13:40,327 --> 00:13:42,594 What? It's rated one of the best in the city. 377 00:13:42,596 --> 00:13:43,829 Really? It didn't seem like it. 378 00:13:43,831 --> 00:13:44,930 Well, it is. 379 00:13:44,932 --> 00:13:46,832 Why are you being so sweet tonight? 380 00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,700 'Cause I have a surprise for you. 381 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,269 What kind of surprise? - You'll see. 382 00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:53,104 [panting] 383 00:13:53,106 --> 00:13:54,606 Oh! - Oh! 384 00:13:54,608 --> 00:13:56,274 Oh! Ah! 385 00:13:56,276 --> 00:13:58,777 This is not the surprise I was talking about. 386 00:13:58,779 --> 00:14:00,779 I'm really sorry about this. 387 00:14:01,714 --> 00:14:02,781 No. 388 00:14:02,783 --> 00:14:04,216 [Camille gagging] 389 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,284 I'm not gonna lie... 390 00:14:06,286 --> 00:14:07,619 ...this is exactly what it looks like. 391 00:14:07,621 --> 00:14:08,787 Okay, put it away. 392 00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:09,688 Okay. - Whoa. 393 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,056 You know what, guys? I- I am sorry. 394 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,325 Bring it on in for a hug? - Uh-uh. 395 00:14:13,327 --> 00:14:14,492 Go. 396 00:14:14,494 --> 00:14:16,494 No, no, you can't hug me, no! 397 00:14:16,496 --> 00:14:17,796 Oh! 398 00:14:17,798 --> 00:14:19,197 You mean he still had a-- - Boner! 399 00:14:19,199 --> 00:14:21,833 Oh! - A raging boner. 400 00:14:21,835 --> 00:14:23,702 So it was less of a hug and more of a dry hump. 401 00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:26,738 He was practically inside of her, for crying out loud. 402 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,807 So she dumped me, naturally. 403 00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:30,642 She said if I'm still friends with Barry, 404 00:14:30,644 --> 00:14:32,644 I'm practically as juvenile as he is. 405 00:14:32,646 --> 00:14:33,678 Sorry, bud. 406 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,880 It doesn't matter anymore. 407 00:14:34,882 --> 00:14:36,681 Guys, I know we've been friends with Barry 408 00:14:36,683 --> 00:14:40,185 since before we hit puberty, but, um... 409 00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:41,653 I'm over it. 410 00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:42,754 I am over it. 411 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,689 I mean the dude's heart's in the right place, 412 00:14:44,691 --> 00:14:46,992 but, let's face it, man, he is a menace. 413 00:14:46,994 --> 00:14:49,094 I mean when we were kids it was great, 414 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,362 yeah, it was fun. 415 00:14:50,364 --> 00:14:51,763 We're adults now. 416 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,331 We're trying to have families 417 00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:56,334 and careers and relationships, Kurt, 418 00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:58,837 and Barry's making that impossible. 419 00:14:59,872 --> 00:15:01,907 It's his Barryisms. - What are you sayin'? 420 00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:04,209 I'm saying that we'll always love the guy, 421 00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:06,778 but... we cannot live with him anymore. 422 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,613 Yeah, but I mean... 423 00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:10,181 Barry's always there for us. 424 00:15:10,183 --> 00:15:11,616 Yeah, that's the problem. 425 00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:14,119 He's always there screwing everything up. 426 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:16,121 He's a real ragamuffin. 427 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,191 What if we were to get rid of him? 428 00:15:20,193 --> 00:15:22,761 [clears throat] Okay... 429 00:15:22,763 --> 00:15:24,696 I think I get what you're saying. 430 00:15:24,698 --> 00:15:26,865 I just wanna clarify something. 431 00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:28,934 I can't kill someone. 432 00:15:28,936 --> 00:15:30,869 I can't. But I wanna help. 433 00:15:30,871 --> 00:15:32,137 I'll dig the... 434 00:15:33,239 --> 00:15:35,073 I'll dig it. I don't want to, but I'll do it. 435 00:15:35,075 --> 00:15:36,808 We're not talking about murdering him, Hurt. 436 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:37,876 That's not on the table. - I knew that. 437 00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:40,578 Everyone was- was hashing it- it out. 438 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:41,713 So what, do you want to disown him? 439 00:15:41,715 --> 00:15:42,914 No, no, that wouldn't work. 440 00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:45,050 He'd just keep coming back like a zombie or something. 441 00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:45,951 So, like an intervention? 442 00:15:45,953 --> 00:15:47,319 No. He'd relapse. 443 00:15:48,254 --> 00:15:50,588 No, dude, this- this- this requires something 444 00:15:50,590 --> 00:15:52,324 far more stealthy, 445 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:56,895 I'm talking about making someone else... 446 00:15:56,897 --> 00:15:58,530 ...deal with him. 447 00:15:59,231 --> 00:16:01,099 Okay. All right. 448 00:16:01,101 --> 00:16:04,069 So we, uh, we hire someone else to whack him. 449 00:16:04,071 --> 00:16:06,805 That way we're not even connected to the murder. 450 00:16:06,807 --> 00:16:09,107 We're gettin' away hands clean. 451 00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:10,809 We go down to Mexico, chill out, 452 00:16:10,811 --> 00:16:12,677 drinkin', smokin' weed. 453 00:16:12,679 --> 00:16:15,513 I maybe get addicted to heroin, but that's cool. 454 00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:18,283 I'm not talking about whacking him, Ray Liotta. 455 00:16:18,285 --> 00:16:19,918 [scoffs] 456 00:16:20,553 --> 00:16:21,820 Obviously. 457 00:16:21,822 --> 00:16:24,656 See, what we need isn't someone who can put up with Barry, 458 00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:27,192 what we need is someone who has to put up with Barry. 459 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,960 The type of person who has to put up with 460 00:16:28,962 --> 00:16:32,464 a never-ending stream of infantile behavior 461 00:16:32,466 --> 00:16:33,765 twenty-four hours a day, 462 00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:36,768 seven days a week for their entire life. 463 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:37,769 A therapist? 464 00:16:37,771 --> 00:16:39,170 A wife. - Wife. - A wife! 465 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:41,206 Yeah, pop-pop-pop! [makes explosion sound] 466 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,141 Yeah! - Yeah! 467 00:16:43,143 --> 00:16:44,809 You were locked in a closet as a kid. 468 00:16:44,811 --> 00:16:46,945 I mean he's always talkin' about he wants to meet someone 469 00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:47,779 anyway, right? 470 00:16:47,781 --> 00:16:48,847 We'd just be doing him a favor. 471 00:16:48,849 --> 00:16:50,148 I like it. 472 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:51,716 Scratch that, I love it. 473 00:16:51,718 --> 00:16:53,284 I don't know, guys. I mean, I need him. 474 00:16:53,286 --> 00:16:54,352 What are you talking' about, Rafe? 475 00:16:54,354 --> 00:16:56,988 I mean he babysits JT every Saturday night. 476 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,323 That's my prime date night. 477 00:16:58,325 --> 00:16:59,657 In fact, he's with him right now 478 00:16:59,659 --> 00:17:01,726 so I can go meet the funeral director at nine. 479 00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:03,128 Yes, that's happening. 480 00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,162 Hand over fist. - Don't catch it. 481 00:17:04,164 --> 00:17:05,997 It's hand over fist. - No, make a fist. 482 00:17:05,999 --> 00:17:07,465 I don't like that. - Yeah. 483 00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,000 Lemme ask you a question, Rafe. 484 00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:12,504 When, um Barry's babysitting JT 485 00:17:12,506 --> 00:17:14,039 what exactly do they do? 486 00:17:14,041 --> 00:17:15,840 I don't know. They have a blast, though. 487 00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:17,976 They play video games, watch movies. 488 00:17:17,978 --> 00:17:20,145 Well, uh, looks like Barry just posted 489 00:17:20,147 --> 00:17:21,646 what they're actually doing. 490 00:17:22,748 --> 00:17:24,883 Okay, kid, throw, throw, throw, throw. 491 00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:26,418 Go! Run, run, run, run, run, run! 492 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,119 [explosion] [JT] Holy shit! 493 00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:29,821 Let's marry off this fucker. 494 00:17:29,823 --> 00:17:32,557 Why are you guys so keen on finding me a girlfriend 495 00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:33,324 all of a sudden? 496 00:17:33,326 --> 00:17:35,260 Pals forever, remember? - Yeah. 497 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,528 Just want you to be happy. 498 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:37,695 Yeah, man, plus you're such a catch 499 00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:39,364 it's a total mystery how you're still single. 500 00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:40,932 It's true. - No, I don't know about that. 501 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,500 Listen, guys, I promise you, 502 00:17:42,502 --> 00:17:44,702 I'm gonna put my best foot forward today, okay? 503 00:17:44,704 --> 00:17:45,537 Cool, man. 504 00:17:45,539 --> 00:17:48,339 Bring on the vagina. Huh! Huh! 505 00:17:49,575 --> 00:17:50,909 All right. 506 00:17:50,911 --> 00:17:52,243 [bell rings] 507 00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:57,282 [man] Okay everyone, let's have a seat! 508 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,883 Hi. Hi, I'm Leslie. 509 00:17:58,885 --> 00:18:00,185 Hi, I'm Barry. - Hi. 510 00:18:00,187 --> 00:18:01,753 [laughing] Hi. 511 00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:02,954 Next! 512 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,289 Excuse me? - Next. 513 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,524 Barry, that's not how speed dating works. 514 00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:07,926 I'm not feelin' it with her. 515 00:18:07,928 --> 00:18:09,394 Are you kidding me? Is he kidding me? 516 00:18:09,396 --> 00:18:12,130 Listen, no matter what you're feeling-- 517 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,032 I'm not feeling anything. That's the problem. 518 00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:16,968 You're- you're beautiful, we're just, you know, 519 00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,269 we don't have... it. 520 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,637 You have to wait until they ring the bell. 521 00:18:19,639 --> 00:18:22,941 The bell? I gotta talk to her for the whole five minutes? 522 00:18:22,943 --> 00:18:23,641 Yeah. 523 00:18:23,643 --> 00:18:24,642 I'm sitting across from you. 524 00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:26,277 I hear the words coming out of your mouth. 525 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,379 Look, if it's any consolation, he's always like this. 526 00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:30,048 Yeah. - Nice shirt. 527 00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,416 Do not- hey! 528 00:18:31,418 --> 00:18:32,717 Do not make fun of my friends. 529 00:18:32,719 --> 00:18:33,885 Fuck you! - What? I-- 530 00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:36,454 What did I do? I have to live with this! 531 00:18:36,456 --> 00:18:38,223 [sighs] Quite the mouth on her. 532 00:18:38,225 --> 00:18:39,991 She's got some anger issues. 533 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:43,261 Barry, Barry. Listen to me very carefully, all right? 534 00:18:43,263 --> 00:18:46,064 When you meet these women, whatever comes to your mind... 535 00:18:46,066 --> 00:18:47,765 Yeah? - ...say the opposite. 536 00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:48,967 Got it. 537 00:18:48,969 --> 00:18:50,768 Ah, yeah, backwards town. Got it. 538 00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:52,971 Yeah, yeah, that looks super real. 539 00:18:52,973 --> 00:18:56,074 That shirt does not give off the impression 540 00:18:56,076 --> 00:18:57,976 that you own several stray dogs. 541 00:18:57,978 --> 00:18:58,510 [ding] 542 00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,280 Jesus Christ! You scared the shit outta me. 543 00:19:02,282 --> 00:19:04,182 I mean, uh... 544 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:08,520 You do not look like a cutter at all. 545 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,488 It's even harder than we thought. 546 00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:12,991 It's time to bring out the big guns. 547 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:15,627 So, Mister Goker, 548 00:19:15,629 --> 00:19:17,629 how does this exactly, um, work? 549 00:19:17,631 --> 00:19:19,998 Well, the brides obviously don't come in the mail, 550 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,935 but, uh, they do come in a very small crate on a boat, 551 00:19:23,937 --> 00:19:28,206 and we, of course, make sure to poke the holes in the box 552 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,008 so they can breathe. 553 00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:32,510 Keep it human. 554 00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:33,511 Oh... 555 00:19:35,014 --> 00:19:37,882 I'm kidding! [all laughing] 556 00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:39,184 We don't put 'em in a box! 557 00:19:39,186 --> 00:19:41,052 What are we, monsters? No! 558 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,588 Just a very small, dangerous boat. 559 00:19:44,657 --> 00:19:46,224 So I guess you're the man with all the bitches. 560 00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,992 Okay... bitch? 561 00:19:47,994 --> 00:19:50,328 Okay, I gotta ask you guys a question right now. 562 00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,197 Do you, uh... 563 00:19:52,199 --> 00:19:54,132 ...do you guys hate women? 564 00:19:54,134 --> 00:19:55,833 No, I love women. 565 00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:57,702 Because I don't sell women 566 00:19:57,704 --> 00:20:00,872 to men who hate women. 567 00:20:00,874 --> 00:20:03,074 We do not sell bitches! 568 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,342 If we did, 569 00:20:04,344 --> 00:20:08,012 it'd be called Goker's Mail Order Bitches! 570 00:20:08,014 --> 00:20:11,716 Not Goker's Mail Order Brides! 571 00:20:11,718 --> 00:20:13,084 Okay? 572 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,721 Uh, yeah, it was- it was just a slang term, you know. 573 00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:20,158 I'm just gonna put it out there. 574 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,195 Um, I'm not- I'm not- I'm not actually looking, 575 00:20:24,197 --> 00:20:25,096 is that okay? 576 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,030 Yeah. 577 00:20:26,032 --> 00:20:27,365 I am not looking to marry anybody, 578 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,566 maybe just a girlfriend. 579 00:20:28,568 --> 00:20:31,102 Unless she's like super, super-duper cool, 580 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:31,869 then maybe. 581 00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:35,240 Look, let me make something very clear here, all right? 582 00:20:35,242 --> 00:20:37,442 Here at Goker's we are not just about business. 583 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,578 First and foremost, we are about love, 584 00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:44,382 passion, romance, fucking, okay? 585 00:20:44,384 --> 00:20:47,518 Hot fuck action at a really reasonable price. 586 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,454 Hot flippin' and flappin' 587 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,223 smackin' ass cracks together, all right? 588 00:20:52,225 --> 00:20:54,192 You ever- you ever slam your ass crack 589 00:20:54,194 --> 00:20:55,893 against a women's ass crack? 590 00:20:55,895 --> 00:20:57,929 It rivals penetration, guys. 591 00:20:57,931 --> 00:20:59,197 I know you don't believe me, 592 00:20:59,199 --> 00:21:01,299 but you're gonna be able to try it with one of these women 593 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,735 and find me right. 594 00:21:03,737 --> 00:21:07,939 So, just to be clear, here, on your old, uh, application. 595 00:21:07,941 --> 00:21:11,109 Now your name is Barry Burke, your favorite food is fried, 596 00:21:11,111 --> 00:21:12,910 your favorite book is the novelization 597 00:21:12,912 --> 00:21:14,779 of the Bill Murray classic "Stripes," 598 00:21:14,781 --> 00:21:16,214 it's one of my favorite books. 599 00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:17,949 I did not care for the movie. 600 00:21:17,951 --> 00:21:20,485 And you live off a settlement you got from the city 601 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,488 for walking into an exposed manhole. 602 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:27,225 Yeah, I actually, I removed that manhole cover myself 603 00:21:27,227 --> 00:21:29,594 and then intentionally walked into said manhole, 604 00:21:29,596 --> 00:21:31,829 but that is- that is neither here nor there. 605 00:21:31,831 --> 00:21:34,399 Oh, no, no, that is both here and there, my friend. 606 00:21:34,401 --> 00:21:37,068 That is genius. - I'm a geniu-- 607 00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:38,303 Can you say that to them, please? 608 00:21:38,305 --> 00:21:40,638 All right, Barry... 609 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,173 Prepare to meet... 610 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:45,009 the new love of your life... 611 00:21:45,011 --> 00:21:46,077 Juanita. 612 00:21:46,079 --> 00:21:47,945 Oh, wow. - Wow. 613 00:21:47,947 --> 00:21:50,081 Oh my God, she's beautiful. 614 00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:50,915 Schwing! 615 00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:55,320 Her village has been completely ravaged by disease, 616 00:21:55,322 --> 00:21:56,654 flood, famine, and rebels, 617 00:21:56,656 --> 00:21:58,956 so she is very open to meeting 618 00:21:58,958 --> 00:22:01,592 gentlemanly, successful American men. 619 00:22:01,594 --> 00:22:04,796 Okay, well how about a not-so-gentlemanly, 620 00:22:04,798 --> 00:22:06,597 not-so-successful American man? 621 00:22:06,599 --> 00:22:07,632 Are you kidding me? 622 00:22:07,634 --> 00:22:09,967 She'd marry a raccoon with an extended asshole 623 00:22:09,969 --> 00:22:12,003 if it got her out of her fucking village. 624 00:22:12,005 --> 00:22:13,137 She's gonna love you, man. 625 00:22:13,139 --> 00:22:14,238 [chuckles] 626 00:22:16,175 --> 00:22:19,677 So, how was your plane flight? 627 00:22:19,679 --> 00:22:22,280 Oh, uh, da plane. 628 00:22:23,382 --> 00:22:26,317 Da plane? Bzzzzzz. 629 00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:27,352 Whoosh. 630 00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:28,786 [speaks Spanish] 631 00:22:28,788 --> 00:22:31,356 Muy bueno? Good. Good, good, good. 632 00:22:31,358 --> 00:22:32,223 That's good. 633 00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:35,860 Probably not a lot of planes where you come from, huh? 634 00:22:35,862 --> 00:22:37,995 Is there not a lot of planes where you come from? 635 00:22:37,997 --> 00:22:40,231 Cars either? Probably not a lot of cars. 636 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,800 What do you- what do you use to get around, a donkey? 637 00:22:42,802 --> 00:22:44,102 Do you ride a donkey? 638 00:22:45,137 --> 00:22:47,071 Yeah, a donkey's probably safer anyway, you know, 639 00:22:47,073 --> 00:22:48,840 because I bet you like to throw back the cervezas. 640 00:22:48,842 --> 00:22:50,074 Mmm, cervezas. 641 00:22:50,076 --> 00:22:51,409 Cervezas, yeah. 642 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,077 Tequila! [chuckles] 643 00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:54,212 [speaking Spanish] 644 00:22:55,014 --> 00:22:58,316 I was hoping that we could make it a little physical 645 00:22:58,318 --> 00:23:00,184 because I notice you carry a... 646 00:23:00,186 --> 00:23:02,720 formidable amount of junk in your trunk. 647 00:23:02,722 --> 00:23:04,088 Junk in trunk? 648 00:23:04,090 --> 00:23:05,323 Face it, guys, it's over. 649 00:23:05,325 --> 00:23:07,225 We'll never find him a wife. 650 00:23:07,227 --> 00:23:10,228 Let's go. I wanna meet up with that funeral director, anyway. 651 00:23:13,732 --> 00:23:16,868 So, you work at the parks department? 652 00:23:16,870 --> 00:23:19,504 Yeah, I am director of events. 653 00:23:19,506 --> 00:23:21,105 Wow. - Yeah. 654 00:23:21,107 --> 00:23:22,607 What a cool job. - It is. It's really cool. 655 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:26,110 We do concerts and Shakespeare in the Park. 656 00:23:26,112 --> 00:23:27,445 I go to that. - You do? 657 00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:28,546 I love that. 658 00:23:28,548 --> 00:23:30,715 Oh. I- I have to work a lot of weekend nights, 659 00:23:30,717 --> 00:23:31,949 but it's fine. 660 00:23:31,951 --> 00:23:33,418 I love it, so, yeah. 661 00:23:34,253 --> 00:23:35,219 I don't wanna freak you out, 662 00:23:35,221 --> 00:23:37,855 'cause this is obviously our first date, 663 00:23:37,857 --> 00:23:40,491 but you're the total package. 664 00:23:41,561 --> 00:23:47,298 Well, yeah, I mean your online profile was nice and charming 665 00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:50,268 and the picture is beautiful but in person 666 00:23:50,270 --> 00:23:51,636 you're just like... 667 00:23:53,439 --> 00:23:54,439 ...radiant. 668 00:23:54,441 --> 00:23:55,873 Oh, um... 669 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:57,375 I think you're pretty great, too. 670 00:23:57,377 --> 00:24:01,412 I like to take things slowly, if that's all right. 671 00:24:01,414 --> 00:24:03,281 Yes. Couldn't agree more. 672 00:24:03,283 --> 00:24:06,284 I like to take things slow myself. 673 00:24:06,286 --> 00:24:08,453 I- I- I didn't think you were that type of girl. 674 00:24:10,088 --> 00:24:11,289 What type of girl? 675 00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:13,758 Someone who'd just jump in the sack on the first date, 676 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,926 or whatever. 677 00:24:14,928 --> 00:24:16,627 [laughing] 678 00:24:17,262 --> 00:24:20,798 I- I- I am that type of girl. 679 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,499 I am. 680 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:22,467 Oh, really? - Yeah. 681 00:24:22,469 --> 00:24:23,768 Yeah, right. 682 00:24:23,770 --> 00:24:24,735 We'd probably be fucking right now 683 00:24:24,737 --> 00:24:27,305 if it wasn't for my situation... 684 00:24:28,273 --> 00:24:29,474 ...below deck. 685 00:24:30,742 --> 00:24:32,410 I'll go ahead and give you a hint. 686 00:24:32,412 --> 00:24:35,746 It rhymes with beast inspection. 687 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:39,617 I think I know, yeah, I think I know what you mean. 688 00:24:39,619 --> 00:24:43,354 Okay, it's not itchy anymore, but um... 689 00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:45,256 it just probably doesn't smell very good. 690 00:24:45,258 --> 00:24:46,791 [laughing] Anyway-- 691 00:24:46,793 --> 00:24:48,326 So, what kind of music do you like? 692 00:24:48,328 --> 00:24:49,861 I'm mostly into reggae and dub. 693 00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:52,463 Dub, ska, dancehall. 694 00:24:52,465 --> 00:24:53,798 My favorite food is fried. 695 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,966 Italian and Mexican. 696 00:24:54,968 --> 00:24:56,701 And Mexican. 697 00:24:56,703 --> 00:24:58,769 Also Italian and Japanese. 698 00:24:58,771 --> 00:25:01,172 Oh, I am a sushi slut. 699 00:25:01,174 --> 00:25:03,107 And how does that manifest itself? 700 00:25:03,109 --> 00:25:04,442 I'm a whore for sushi. 701 00:25:04,444 --> 00:25:06,444 Uh... also... 702 00:25:06,446 --> 00:25:09,947 ...wow, I can't believe you ate that all in one bite. 703 00:25:09,949 --> 00:25:12,149 You're like a boa constrictor. 704 00:25:12,151 --> 00:25:13,451 Ah! 705 00:25:13,453 --> 00:25:14,485 I'm gonna be straight with you. 706 00:25:14,487 --> 00:25:17,288 You're breasts were a lot bigger in the photo. 707 00:25:17,290 --> 00:25:19,724 In your photo, you looked a lot taller. 708 00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:20,958 You had more neck. 709 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,660 It was a- like a headshot. 710 00:25:22,662 --> 00:25:24,161 You had less teeth. 711 00:25:24,163 --> 00:25:27,865 And, uh, you looked a lot more third-worldy... 712 00:25:27,867 --> 00:25:29,400 Mexicany. [speaking Spanish] 713 00:25:30,335 --> 00:25:32,370 You've got hair plugs. 714 00:25:32,372 --> 00:25:34,038 And I don't mind... much. 715 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,474 It is not that I find you unattractive... 716 00:25:36,476 --> 00:25:37,475 ...at all. 717 00:25:37,477 --> 00:25:38,709 It's just... 718 00:25:39,311 --> 00:25:40,378 ...false advertising. 719 00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:42,813 But it's false advertising. 720 00:25:42,815 --> 00:25:45,583 You have rendered me completely speechless. 721 00:25:45,585 --> 00:25:46,684 Thank you. 722 00:25:46,686 --> 00:25:49,053 All I can say is wow. 723 00:25:49,055 --> 00:25:50,855 I get that a lot. 724 00:25:50,857 --> 00:25:52,490 Will you excuse me for a second? 725 00:25:52,492 --> 00:25:56,661 I need to shit like that every time I eat bacon. 726 00:25:56,663 --> 00:25:57,995 It's the middle of dinner. 727 00:25:57,997 --> 00:26:00,831 I'm- I'm not gonna go take a... shit. 728 00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:02,333 Are you gonna have a piss? 729 00:26:02,335 --> 00:26:04,402 Uh, well since you asked, um, 730 00:26:04,404 --> 00:26:08,039 some urine might actually exit my penis. 731 00:26:08,041 --> 00:26:10,374 I wasn't going to say that. 732 00:26:10,376 --> 00:26:12,777 I felt like it was implied when I said, "Excuse me." 733 00:26:12,779 --> 00:26:15,212 Just wash your hands 'cause dick hands, 734 00:26:15,214 --> 00:26:16,981 it's just gross. 735 00:26:18,417 --> 00:26:20,618 And be quick 'cause I really need to shit. 736 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,420 Okay, I'm gonna go shit. - Okay. 737 00:26:25,791 --> 00:26:26,991 [speaking Spanish] 738 00:26:28,694 --> 00:26:29,727 El ban- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! 739 00:26:29,729 --> 00:26:32,463 You gotta make a fiesta in el baño, no problem. 740 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,632 Yeah, yeah, poo party. [chuckles] 741 00:26:41,940 --> 00:26:44,542 Oh, excuse me, I'm actually not in line. 742 00:26:44,544 --> 00:26:47,378 Just... wishing I were dead. 743 00:26:47,380 --> 00:26:49,146 Um... [speaks Spanish] 744 00:26:49,148 --> 00:26:51,983 Oh, um... [speaks spanish] 745 00:26:56,121 --> 00:26:56,954 [laughs] 746 00:26:56,956 --> 00:26:58,456 [speaks Spanish] 747 00:27:10,602 --> 00:27:13,337 Si. [laughing] 748 00:27:18,477 --> 00:27:20,678 [Juanita laughing] 749 00:27:22,614 --> 00:27:24,582 [forlorn music ♪] 750 00:27:24,584 --> 00:27:27,418 ♪ ♪ 751 00:27:41,933 --> 00:27:44,769 Excuse me... If- if you're waiting for a cab... 752 00:27:44,771 --> 00:27:45,670 I was here first. 753 00:27:45,672 --> 00:27:47,171 Yeah, you got it. No problem. 754 00:27:50,142 --> 00:27:51,542 Here we go. - Hey! 755 00:27:51,544 --> 00:27:53,110 Excuse me, ladies first. 756 00:27:53,112 --> 00:27:54,812 A lady? Yeah, I'll tell you if I see one. 757 00:27:54,814 --> 00:27:56,113 Really? 758 00:27:56,115 --> 00:27:57,148 Get off! 759 00:27:57,150 --> 00:27:58,516 [grunts] 760 00:27:58,518 --> 00:27:59,550 Excuse me. 761 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:01,585 [stammering] 762 00:28:02,054 --> 00:28:03,888 Are you kidding me?! 763 00:28:03,890 --> 00:28:05,723 You're kidding me! 764 00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:07,958 Unbelievable. 765 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:08,993 Alright, folks, where to? 766 00:28:08,995 --> 00:28:10,728 [both shouting addresses] 767 00:28:12,631 --> 00:28:13,898 Aah! 768 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:16,534 I guess we're neighbors. - I guess so. Yippee. 769 00:28:16,536 --> 00:28:18,002 The joy. [sighs] 770 00:28:18,004 --> 00:28:19,403 I can't wait to run into you. 771 00:28:19,405 --> 00:28:20,471 Yeah, me neither. 772 00:28:20,473 --> 00:28:21,972 It's still the best part of the neighborhood, 773 00:28:21,974 --> 00:28:24,108 minus the gentrification. - Except for the gentrification. 774 00:28:28,213 --> 00:28:29,647 Hey, could you drop me off first? 775 00:28:29,649 --> 00:28:30,981 Really? 776 00:28:31,683 --> 00:28:32,817 Did you fart? 777 00:28:32,819 --> 00:28:35,086 No. I've been trying. 778 00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,587 Yeah, 'cause I farted right when we got in 779 00:28:36,589 --> 00:28:37,988 and that is not my brand. 780 00:28:39,157 --> 00:28:41,258 It's pathetic. I can't smell anything. 781 00:28:41,260 --> 00:28:42,927 What, you don't have a sense of smell you mean? 782 00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:44,595 It's just a terrible fart. 783 00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:46,731 Oh, you're calling my fart pathetic? 784 00:28:46,733 --> 00:28:47,565 Yes. 785 00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,434 Well, we're dealing with a new issue here. 786 00:28:50,436 --> 00:28:52,603 The issue is that you apparently have gas 787 00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:53,537 and it's gonna come out 788 00:28:53,539 --> 00:28:55,272 at some point during this cab ride. 789 00:28:55,274 --> 00:28:57,074 Trust me, I hope so. 790 00:28:57,076 --> 00:28:58,275 [sighs] 791 00:29:01,413 --> 00:29:02,847 [grunts] Nothing. 792 00:29:05,617 --> 00:29:07,418 [both heckle the driver at the same time] 793 00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:08,619 It's called the way there. 794 00:29:08,621 --> 00:29:10,721 [both heckle the driver] 795 00:29:10,723 --> 00:29:12,389 Assholes. - Hey what? 796 00:29:12,391 --> 00:29:13,758 Watch it, you wanker. 797 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,459 Eat my dick, you fuck face. 798 00:29:15,461 --> 00:29:17,294 Fuck mouth. - Paying customer! 799 00:29:17,296 --> 00:29:18,462 Fucking cock breath. 800 00:29:18,464 --> 00:29:20,431 [laughing] Cock breath... 801 00:29:20,433 --> 00:29:22,166 Oh, that's impressive. 802 00:29:22,768 --> 00:29:24,435 Oh, thanks, you too. 803 00:29:24,437 --> 00:29:25,536 Thank you. 804 00:29:25,538 --> 00:29:26,971 My friends would disagree 805 00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:29,373 and they think my mouth is my biggest problem. 806 00:29:32,644 --> 00:29:35,146 I think its fine, you just have- you just have thin lips. 807 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,480 No- not- 808 00:29:36,482 --> 00:29:38,616 No, wha- the things I say, not what my lips look like, no. 809 00:29:38,618 --> 00:29:40,084 Oh, oh, right. 810 00:29:40,086 --> 00:29:41,285 I know I have thin lips. 811 00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:43,354 It's- it's the bane of my existence. 812 00:29:44,724 --> 00:29:49,093 Loads of guys have dumped me because they're embarrassed. 813 00:29:49,095 --> 00:29:50,761 I don't know. - Oh, dicks. 814 00:29:50,763 --> 00:29:51,662 I don't care. 815 00:29:52,731 --> 00:29:54,799 It's my roommate, she's always trying to set me up 816 00:29:54,801 --> 00:29:56,267 and find me a husband. 817 00:29:56,269 --> 00:29:57,468 No, tell me about it. 818 00:29:57,470 --> 00:30:00,137 My- my friends just bought me a wife. 819 00:30:00,139 --> 00:30:01,772 They bought--? 820 00:30:01,774 --> 00:30:03,674 They bought me a wife, like out of the blue. 821 00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:05,109 So, you're married? 822 00:30:05,111 --> 00:30:07,311 N-no, may- maybe. 823 00:30:07,313 --> 00:30:08,612 I don't know. 824 00:30:08,614 --> 00:30:10,314 I- I don't think it was legally binding. 825 00:30:10,316 --> 00:30:11,148 I'm not sure. 826 00:30:11,150 --> 00:30:12,650 I-I'll have to check on that one. 827 00:30:15,086 --> 00:30:16,754 What do you do? 828 00:30:16,756 --> 00:30:18,756 Um, I work for the parks department. 829 00:30:18,758 --> 00:30:20,758 The what? - Parks department. 830 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,459 Pox department? - Parks. 831 00:30:22,461 --> 00:30:23,327 Parks? - Parks. 832 00:30:23,329 --> 00:30:24,528 Oh, parks! Parks department. 833 00:30:24,530 --> 00:30:26,297 Right, right, the parks department. 834 00:30:26,299 --> 00:30:27,131 Got it. 835 00:30:27,133 --> 00:30:28,365 Well that's cool. 836 00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:29,500 It is really cool. 837 00:30:29,502 --> 00:30:30,534 Wanna know what I do? 838 00:30:30,536 --> 00:30:31,836 Not really. 839 00:30:31,838 --> 00:30:33,604 C'mon, take a guess, it's a good one. 840 00:30:33,606 --> 00:30:34,839 Um, unemployed? - Yes! 841 00:30:34,841 --> 00:30:36,307 Very good guess. 842 00:30:36,309 --> 00:30:37,875 Be honest, do you think it was inappropriate? 843 00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:40,144 For you to talk about your own feminine hygiene issue 844 00:30:40,146 --> 00:30:41,111 at your dinner date? 845 00:30:41,113 --> 00:30:42,680 Absolutely not. - Thank you. 846 00:30:42,682 --> 00:30:43,948 Why would that be weird? - I know! 847 00:30:43,950 --> 00:30:45,783 I didn't think so, but then I was, like, 848 00:30:45,785 --> 00:30:46,784 questioning myself. 849 00:30:46,786 --> 00:30:47,785 People are weird! - Yeah. 850 00:30:47,787 --> 00:30:49,653 Like my date, my wife, 851 00:30:49,655 --> 00:30:50,888 walked out on our date tonight, 852 00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:53,357 I think, because I talked about my balls. 853 00:30:53,359 --> 00:30:54,692 [scoffs] Like one time. 854 00:30:54,694 --> 00:30:56,894 She sounds like a twunt. 855 00:30:56,896 --> 00:30:57,962 What? 856 00:30:57,964 --> 00:30:59,063 I'm sorry. 857 00:30:59,065 --> 00:31:00,531 That's a really ugly word, I'm-- 858 00:31:00,533 --> 00:31:01,532 No, no, no, that's not what I meant. 859 00:31:01,534 --> 00:31:02,867 Did you? 860 00:31:02,869 --> 00:31:04,268 I say twunt. 861 00:31:05,704 --> 00:31:07,805 I... No you don't. 862 00:31:07,807 --> 00:31:09,874 I say twunt all the time. 863 00:31:12,811 --> 00:31:15,679 I thought I made it up. - I thought I made it up. 864 00:31:15,681 --> 00:31:17,548 Well, I guess we both made it up. 865 00:31:17,550 --> 00:31:18,749 I guess we did. 866 00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,684 Oh my God, I love twunt, I love twunt! 867 00:31:20,686 --> 00:31:22,553 Oh, I love twunt. 868 00:31:22,555 --> 00:31:24,855 I love twunt. - I love twunt. 869 00:31:24,857 --> 00:31:28,192 [Scottish accent] Oh, look at that, you great twunt. 870 00:31:28,194 --> 00:31:30,828 [both using Scottish accents] Oh no! - Oh you twunt. 871 00:31:30,830 --> 00:31:31,929 I can't do a Scottish accent. 872 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,831 Oh, you stinky twunt. 873 00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:35,032 Listen to you! 874 00:31:35,034 --> 00:31:36,433 [unintelligible] 875 00:31:36,435 --> 00:31:38,769 [Indian accent] Would you like some twunt korma? 876 00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:40,504 Buttered- buttered twunt? 877 00:31:40,506 --> 00:31:44,341 [normal voice] And, no, I don't know why people react to me that way. 878 00:31:44,343 --> 00:31:45,242 I really don't. 879 00:31:45,244 --> 00:31:47,745 It's just I prefer to be honest because-- 880 00:31:47,747 --> 00:31:49,880 Everyone wastes so much time being polite 881 00:31:49,882 --> 00:31:52,016 when they could just say what they mean. 882 00:31:52,018 --> 00:31:55,386 Now the question you gotta ask yourself is... 883 00:31:55,388 --> 00:31:58,055 "Do you feel lucky, twunt? 884 00:31:58,057 --> 00:32:00,791 Well? Do ya?" 885 00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:02,860 No, I got, it was too big at the end, but you get it. 886 00:32:02,862 --> 00:32:03,861 Yeah. 887 00:32:03,863 --> 00:32:06,397 That was good. That was really good. 888 00:32:06,399 --> 00:32:08,499 [both laughing] 889 00:32:10,468 --> 00:32:11,535 Yeah, here you go. 890 00:32:11,537 --> 00:32:12,803 Door-to-door service. 891 00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,905 Thanks, that would almost be chivalrous, 892 00:32:14,907 --> 00:32:16,707 if you didn't just arm-wrestle me for it. 893 00:32:16,709 --> 00:32:19,743 Well, I have something very pressing to do at home. 894 00:32:19,745 --> 00:32:20,811 Masturbate? 895 00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,413 Yeah. - Me too. 896 00:32:22,415 --> 00:32:23,781 [both giggling] 897 00:32:23,783 --> 00:32:24,882 Man, get a room. 898 00:32:24,884 --> 00:32:27,151 Just shut your stupid face! 899 00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:28,285 [giggling] 900 00:32:28,287 --> 00:32:29,920 Seriously, shut your stupid face. 901 00:32:29,922 --> 00:32:30,888 Y'all twunts. 902 00:32:30,890 --> 00:32:32,589 Well-- [coughs] 903 00:32:32,591 --> 00:32:35,426 I got a- I got a burp in my throat. 904 00:32:35,428 --> 00:32:36,794 Let it rip. 905 00:32:36,796 --> 00:32:37,461 [small burp] 906 00:32:37,463 --> 00:32:39,163 Nice. Nice. - Yeah. 907 00:32:39,165 --> 00:32:40,764 I hate this job. 908 00:32:40,766 --> 00:32:42,633 Um... [laughs] 909 00:32:42,635 --> 00:32:44,635 Okay, um... 910 00:32:44,637 --> 00:32:46,170 Goodbye. 911 00:32:46,172 --> 00:32:48,472 Goodbye. - See you. 912 00:32:49,674 --> 00:32:51,775 I'll pay for the cab. Don't worry. 913 00:32:51,777 --> 00:32:53,277 Always planned on it. 914 00:32:53,279 --> 00:32:55,079 Hey! Hey, hey. 915 00:32:56,081 --> 00:32:58,115 You are not as big of a bitch 916 00:32:58,117 --> 00:32:59,883 as I thought you were gonna be. 917 00:33:01,286 --> 00:33:02,152 Thanks. 918 00:33:02,487 --> 00:33:03,988 Yeah. 919 00:33:03,990 --> 00:33:06,757 You're not as big of a cheese-dick, 920 00:33:06,759 --> 00:33:08,325 Well, you haven't seen my dick. 921 00:33:08,327 --> 00:33:09,259 [both laugh] 922 00:33:09,261 --> 00:33:11,128 Um... - What's your name? 923 00:33:11,130 --> 00:33:13,797 Oh, God, yeah, I'm Mel- I'm Mel Miller. 924 00:33:13,799 --> 00:33:16,166 Mel- M- Mel- M- I'm Melanie Miller. 925 00:33:16,168 --> 00:33:18,202 I'm Barry Burke. - Barry Burke, hey. 926 00:33:18,204 --> 00:33:19,436 How do you do? 927 00:33:19,438 --> 00:33:21,872 I do well. Um... 928 00:33:21,874 --> 00:33:25,009 Maybe I'll run into you some time, Mel Miller. 929 00:33:25,011 --> 00:33:27,878 Maybe we will, Barry Burke. 930 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,947 [both chuckle] 931 00:33:31,116 --> 00:33:32,883 Goodbye again. 932 00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:34,151 [giggling] 933 00:33:34,153 --> 00:33:37,021 Okay, goodnight. - Yeah, bye. 934 00:33:38,289 --> 00:33:39,556 [sighs] 935 00:33:59,044 --> 00:34:00,244 [sighs] 936 00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:01,045 [knock on the door] 937 00:34:01,047 --> 00:34:01,979 Hey. 938 00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:03,080 Hey, babe. 939 00:34:04,015 --> 00:34:05,382 This museum pitch is killing me. 940 00:34:05,384 --> 00:34:07,651 I have like zero ideas. - Mm-hmm. 941 00:34:07,653 --> 00:34:10,854 So I thought I would just come and take a little break... 942 00:34:10,856 --> 00:34:12,589 With you. 943 00:34:16,861 --> 00:34:17,895 Pow. 944 00:34:20,265 --> 00:34:21,565 [whispers] Pow. 945 00:34:23,735 --> 00:34:24,968 Pshew. 946 00:34:26,905 --> 00:34:27,971 Ow. 947 00:34:32,710 --> 00:34:34,244 Do do. 948 00:34:34,246 --> 00:34:36,647 Choo ch-choo, ch-choo 949 00:34:53,064 --> 00:34:54,631 Aah! 950 00:34:54,633 --> 00:34:56,800 I'm just gonna do some exercises 951 00:34:56,802 --> 00:34:59,403 to help me, you know, clear my head. 952 00:34:59,405 --> 00:35:00,871 Um... 953 00:35:00,873 --> 00:35:02,606 I do this in my pilates class. 954 00:35:02,608 --> 00:35:04,041 Isn't it fun? 955 00:35:04,043 --> 00:35:05,576 Can I get my-- 956 00:35:05,578 --> 00:35:08,779 You're gonna wrinkle up my stuff on my desk. 957 00:35:08,781 --> 00:35:11,615 Babe, I'm- I'm really trying' to get some stuff done, 958 00:35:11,617 --> 00:35:12,282 you know what I mean? 959 00:35:12,284 --> 00:35:13,550 You can't do it tomorrow? 960 00:35:13,552 --> 00:35:14,785 Ah, you know, I could. 961 00:35:14,787 --> 00:35:16,053 I'd just rather not. 962 00:35:16,055 --> 00:35:16,987 [sighs] 963 00:35:21,426 --> 00:35:22,993 Mm- mm- babe. 964 00:35:22,995 --> 00:35:25,963 Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga choo choo! 965 00:35:25,965 --> 00:35:28,065 Honey, I'm tryin' to-- 966 00:35:30,902 --> 00:35:32,102 Babe. 967 00:35:32,104 --> 00:35:34,705 No one's hiring, I have to focus, okay? 968 00:35:38,510 --> 00:35:39,977 I'm sorry. 969 00:35:43,448 --> 00:35:44,648 I miss that guy. 970 00:35:44,650 --> 00:35:45,849 What guy? 971 00:36:01,132 --> 00:36:02,266 [whispering] That guy. 972 00:36:05,136 --> 00:36:07,171 We all miss that guy. 973 00:36:08,339 --> 00:36:09,740 What in the world? 974 00:36:11,976 --> 00:36:13,911 [keys clacking] 975 00:36:17,782 --> 00:36:19,116 God damn. 976 00:36:22,987 --> 00:36:24,154 Barry... 977 00:36:24,156 --> 00:36:26,123 I think it's time to face the fact that you- 978 00:36:26,125 --> 00:36:27,124 that, uh- 979 00:36:27,959 --> 00:36:28,659 That- 980 00:36:28,661 --> 00:36:31,128 What was I saying? - Are you high? 981 00:36:31,130 --> 00:36:32,062 [blows raspberries] 982 00:36:32,064 --> 00:36:33,997 Yeah, like I'd find a year-old blunt 983 00:36:33,999 --> 00:36:36,500 and smoke that and, like, cough so hard I farted. 984 00:36:36,502 --> 00:36:38,035 Like I did that. Yeah. 985 00:36:38,037 --> 00:36:39,002 He's high! - You're high! 986 00:36:39,004 --> 00:36:40,304 Yeah, I'm high, yeah. 987 00:36:40,306 --> 00:36:41,538 I am high as hell right now. 988 00:36:41,540 --> 00:36:42,639 But it's not about me, man. 989 00:36:42,641 --> 00:36:43,874 Let's talk about you, Barry. 990 00:36:43,876 --> 00:36:45,309 I feel like I let you guys down a little bit. 991 00:36:45,311 --> 00:36:46,076 You definitely did. 992 00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:50,414 I-I-I, actually I did- I did share a cab ride home 993 00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:52,916 with a pretty awesome girl after the date, though. 994 00:36:52,918 --> 00:36:54,051 What? - And? 995 00:36:54,053 --> 00:36:55,919 And it was- it was awesome. 996 00:36:55,921 --> 00:36:57,154 I don't know, it was- it was weird. 997 00:36:57,156 --> 00:36:58,388 We had so much in common, you know? 998 00:36:58,390 --> 00:36:59,356 She was just like me. 999 00:36:59,358 --> 00:37:02,092 She was smart, witty, good-looking. 1000 00:37:02,094 --> 00:37:03,694 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1001 00:37:03,696 --> 00:37:04,895 Did you get her phone number? 1002 00:37:04,897 --> 00:37:07,064 No, I figured I'd bump into her sometime. 1003 00:37:07,066 --> 00:37:08,098 Dude! - Oh. 1004 00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:09,566 Are you out of your mind? 1005 00:37:09,568 --> 00:37:11,101 We've scoured this entire city 1006 00:37:11,103 --> 00:37:12,369 to find someone who can tolerate you 1007 00:37:12,371 --> 00:37:13,570 for more than three seconds, 1008 00:37:13,572 --> 00:37:15,439 then you finally find somebody that likes you 1009 00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:17,007 and you don't even get her fucking number? 1010 00:37:17,009 --> 00:37:19,076 I wanted to play it cool. - Cool?! 1011 00:37:19,078 --> 00:37:20,344 We are way past cool, man. 1012 00:37:20,346 --> 00:37:22,112 This shit is desperate! 1013 00:37:22,114 --> 00:37:24,715 Can I have a chocolate malt? I need a malt. 1014 00:37:24,717 --> 00:37:26,183 We'll find her. Just- what was her name? 1015 00:37:26,185 --> 00:37:28,118 Mel. - Mel what? 1016 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,955 Mm... Mel, um... - Melvin? 1017 00:37:31,957 --> 00:37:33,023 Mel Gibson. 1018 00:37:33,025 --> 00:37:36,760 Mel, uh, it was like, ah! The- the- the, like the- 1019 00:37:36,762 --> 00:37:38,295 Think, think, think what was her name? 1020 00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:39,630 Fuck, Barry! 1021 00:37:39,632 --> 00:37:42,065 Well then, heck, Barry, what's the GD point? 1022 00:37:42,067 --> 00:37:44,401 Barry! I will literally club you with this bar spoon 1023 00:37:44,403 --> 00:37:46,236 if you don't tell me who she is. 1024 00:37:46,238 --> 00:37:47,104 Tell me! 1025 00:37:47,106 --> 00:37:49,106 Wait, I just got it! 1026 00:37:49,108 --> 00:37:50,807 Oh, Mel Miller. - She's pretty. 1027 00:37:50,809 --> 00:37:52,943 Wow. Graduated from Berkeley. 1028 00:37:52,945 --> 00:37:55,112 Volunteers at a dog adoption center. 1029 00:37:55,114 --> 00:37:55,779 Is this real? 1030 00:37:56,748 --> 00:37:59,116 Or is this some, like, catfish type situation? 1031 00:37:59,118 --> 00:38:00,784 I got her number. Call her. 1032 00:38:00,786 --> 00:38:01,251 Wait! 1033 00:38:01,253 --> 00:38:04,121 We only got one shot at this, all right? 1034 00:38:04,123 --> 00:38:05,355 Better do it right. 1035 00:38:09,594 --> 00:38:11,228 BOO! [gasps] 1036 00:38:11,230 --> 00:38:13,263 [laughing] 1037 00:38:13,265 --> 00:38:15,799 Oh, every time! - Yeah. 1038 00:38:15,801 --> 00:38:20,304 Oh, it is ridiculously hot out there. 1039 00:38:20,306 --> 00:38:21,772 Oh. 1040 00:38:21,774 --> 00:38:26,910 I am so clammy and sticky and disgusting. 1041 00:38:28,613 --> 00:38:30,414 I think I put deodorant on. 1042 00:38:31,249 --> 00:38:32,649 [coughs] 1043 00:38:32,651 --> 00:38:34,618 Whoo! - Are you wearing my bra? 1044 00:38:34,620 --> 00:38:35,452 Oh... 1045 00:38:36,154 --> 00:38:38,755 Yeah, I had to borrow it. - Why? 1046 00:38:38,757 --> 00:38:40,257 To match your thong. 1047 00:38:40,858 --> 00:38:42,659 Do you want it back? 1048 00:38:42,661 --> 00:38:43,694 No. 1049 00:38:45,029 --> 00:38:46,229 Oh, you sure? 1050 00:38:46,864 --> 00:38:48,165 Actually I might need a hand. 1051 00:38:48,167 --> 00:38:49,966 N- no, you keep it. Really. 1052 00:38:49,968 --> 00:38:51,068 Thank you. 1053 00:38:52,337 --> 00:38:54,338 It's really stuck up there. 1054 00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:55,372 Yeah. 1055 00:38:55,374 --> 00:38:58,308 So, you heard anything from the cab guy? 1056 00:38:58,310 --> 00:39:00,377 Oh, that guy. Um, no. 1057 00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:02,679 He hasn't got my number, so- - Bummer. 1058 00:39:02,681 --> 00:39:04,314 I don't care, anyway. 1059 00:39:04,316 --> 00:39:06,283 It's better for you if I'm single. 1060 00:39:06,285 --> 00:39:06,817 Right? 1061 00:39:06,819 --> 00:39:10,220 What would you do without your wing girl? 1062 00:39:10,222 --> 00:39:11,822 Get dates. 1063 00:39:11,824 --> 00:39:13,123 You wouldn't, Paige. 1064 00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:13,857 No? 1065 00:39:14,492 --> 00:39:16,360 It's really hard for you. 1066 00:39:18,229 --> 00:39:21,198 Babe, you've got to learn to love yourself, 1067 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,232 before others can love you. 1068 00:39:22,234 --> 00:39:24,301 My self-esteem is fine now. 1069 00:39:24,303 --> 00:39:27,571 No, I mean literally love yourself. 1070 00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:28,939 You know? 1071 00:39:29,374 --> 00:39:31,074 Down there. 1072 00:39:31,076 --> 00:39:32,476 Between your legs. 1073 00:39:32,478 --> 00:39:34,010 Do you know what I mean? 1074 00:39:34,012 --> 00:39:36,046 Try the showerhead. 1075 00:39:36,048 --> 00:39:38,315 Try your electric toothbrush. 1076 00:39:38,317 --> 00:39:40,584 Yours is a lot more powerful than mine 1077 00:39:40,586 --> 00:39:42,185 and really gets in there. 1078 00:39:42,187 --> 00:39:44,054 That is really disgusting. 1079 00:39:44,056 --> 00:39:45,856 It's not. It's natural. 1080 00:39:45,858 --> 00:39:48,225 This is the problem with you, Paige. 1081 00:39:48,227 --> 00:39:52,062 Why do you think I spend so long in the bathroom every morning? 1082 00:39:52,064 --> 00:39:54,231 I'm masturbating. - Hm. 1083 00:39:54,233 --> 00:39:56,032 A good hour before breakfast 1084 00:39:56,034 --> 00:39:58,735 and usually forty-five minutes if I can squeeze it in 1085 00:39:58,737 --> 00:40:00,370 when I get home. 1086 00:40:00,372 --> 00:40:02,839 I'm gonna get you masturbating if it's the last thing I do. 1087 00:40:02,841 --> 00:40:03,740 I'm all good. 1088 00:40:03,742 --> 00:40:06,343 [cellphone playing electronic music] 1089 00:40:10,315 --> 00:40:13,550 Hey, Mel, this is Barry, uh, from the cab. 1090 00:40:13,552 --> 00:40:15,085 Oh, um... 1091 00:40:15,087 --> 00:40:16,920 Uh... 1092 00:40:18,456 --> 00:40:19,890 It's him, it's the guy. 1093 00:40:19,892 --> 00:40:22,893 [breathing too quickly to speak] 1094 00:40:22,895 --> 00:40:24,928 It's the guy from the cab. 1095 00:40:24,930 --> 00:40:27,798 Okay, speak as little as possible. 1096 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:28,965 Okay, okay. I'm all good. 1097 00:40:30,935 --> 00:40:33,203 Hey, so um... 1098 00:40:33,205 --> 00:40:36,106 you some kind of pervert stalker or something? 1099 00:40:36,108 --> 00:40:37,374 Yeah, sometimes. 1100 00:40:37,376 --> 00:40:39,075 No! - Just read the cards. 1101 00:40:39,077 --> 00:40:40,977 Uh, I can't read Kurt's handwriting. 1102 00:40:40,979 --> 00:40:42,279 What are you talking about? It says, 1103 00:40:42,281 --> 00:40:43,980 "I was wondering if you're not doing anything Friday night 1104 00:40:43,982 --> 00:40:45,148 if you'd like to go to dinner with me 1105 00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:46,416 or any other activity." 1106 00:40:46,418 --> 00:40:48,452 Oh my God, could you make it any wordier? 1107 00:40:48,454 --> 00:40:49,719 Who are you talking to? 1108 00:40:49,721 --> 00:40:50,754 I'm talking to you. 1109 00:40:50,756 --> 00:40:53,457 I was wondering if you want me to come in your- what?! 1110 00:40:53,459 --> 00:40:54,391 No! 1111 00:40:54,393 --> 00:40:56,092 What's going on? - I don't know. 1112 00:40:56,094 --> 00:40:58,428 Speak from your heart. - Shut up! 1113 00:40:58,430 --> 00:40:59,896 Are you talking to me? - Yes. 1114 00:40:59,898 --> 00:41:01,398 Oh, really? 1115 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,666 No, no. 1116 00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:04,301 Read the card. - You shut up. 1117 00:41:04,303 --> 00:41:05,335 Please don't screw this up. 1118 00:41:05,337 --> 00:41:06,536 You shut up! 1119 00:41:07,071 --> 00:41:08,405 Fuck off. 1120 00:41:08,407 --> 00:41:09,339 Fuck you. 1121 00:41:10,141 --> 00:41:12,275 Are you getting' busy on Friday night? 1122 00:41:12,277 --> 00:41:13,677 [sighs] I dunno. 1123 00:41:13,679 --> 00:41:15,979 You tell me if I'm getting busy Friday night. 1124 00:41:15,981 --> 00:41:17,414 What, is English her second language? 1125 00:41:17,416 --> 00:41:18,982 I think so. [giggles] 1126 00:41:18,984 --> 00:41:22,519 and, uh- and we'll talk about the details later. 1127 00:41:22,521 --> 00:41:24,421 Cool... see ya. 1128 00:41:24,423 --> 00:41:25,755 Cool, see ya. 1129 00:41:26,324 --> 00:41:27,591 Oh! 1130 00:41:27,593 --> 00:41:29,426 He got a date! 1131 00:41:29,428 --> 00:41:31,261 Down there. 1132 00:41:31,696 --> 00:41:32,796 I have a date. 1133 00:41:32,798 --> 00:41:34,064 What? - Yeah. 1134 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:37,501 I mean we'll see. I don't know. 1135 00:41:37,503 --> 00:41:38,802 I love him. 1136 00:41:38,804 --> 00:41:41,037 I think I need to go and have a shower. 1137 00:41:42,341 --> 00:41:46,276 I feel so inspired after that, it was just-- 1138 00:41:46,278 --> 00:41:47,511 I know. 1139 00:41:47,513 --> 00:41:49,279 It's like I'm alive, right? - I know, I know! 1140 00:41:49,281 --> 00:41:51,281 I feel alive. - It's just, it was so real. 1141 00:41:51,283 --> 00:41:53,350 Oh God, this- this is hands-down 1142 00:41:53,352 --> 00:41:55,352 the best first date I've ever had. 1143 00:41:55,354 --> 00:41:56,987 Yeah? - Ever! 1144 00:41:56,989 --> 00:41:58,955 Mine too. - Yeah? 1145 00:41:58,957 --> 00:42:03,326 And no one has ever taken me to a cockfight before. 1146 00:42:03,328 --> 00:42:04,361 I can't believe that. 1147 00:42:04,363 --> 00:42:06,396 You got cockfight written all over you. 1148 00:42:06,398 --> 00:42:07,464 It's so... violent. 1149 00:42:07,466 --> 00:42:09,466 And so bloody, I know. 1150 00:42:09,468 --> 00:42:11,234 Feathers everywhere. 1151 00:42:11,236 --> 00:42:12,369 Poor little guys. - Yeah. 1152 00:42:12,371 --> 00:42:15,205 Yeah, but you made that great call on dinner, so... 1153 00:42:15,207 --> 00:42:16,206 Yeah? - Yeah. 1154 00:42:16,208 --> 00:42:18,675 Oh, well I'm- I'm glad you liked it. 1155 00:42:18,677 --> 00:42:22,379 I think they have incredible cuisine at Hooters, 1156 00:42:22,381 --> 00:42:24,681 but most people don't notice 'cause of... 1157 00:42:24,683 --> 00:42:26,349 all the massive tits. 1158 00:42:26,351 --> 00:42:28,418 I know, the tits are distracting. 1159 00:42:29,387 --> 00:42:31,388 This feels so natural. 1160 00:42:31,390 --> 00:42:32,589 I know. 1161 00:42:35,993 --> 00:42:38,361 It makes me want to spoon your face. 1162 00:42:38,363 --> 00:42:40,096 I wanna... 1163 00:42:40,098 --> 00:42:42,065 I wanna lick the inside of your mouth. 1164 00:42:42,067 --> 00:42:43,400 You do? - Yeah. 1165 00:42:44,068 --> 00:42:45,035 Oh God... 1166 00:42:45,037 --> 00:42:47,504 I really hope you taste like hot dogs. 1167 00:42:47,506 --> 00:42:48,572 I do. 1168 00:42:49,106 --> 00:42:50,407 I always do. - Yeah? 1169 00:42:50,409 --> 00:42:53,510 ♪ ♪ 1170 00:43:02,887 --> 00:43:07,290 Barry, I wanna invite you upstairs, but... 1171 00:43:07,292 --> 00:43:09,526 ...this fucking bread factory between my legs 1172 00:43:09,528 --> 00:43:11,094 is working overtime and-- 1173 00:43:11,096 --> 00:43:12,429 That's cool. - Yeah? 1174 00:43:12,431 --> 00:43:13,730 It's cool. - I'm sorry. 1175 00:43:13,732 --> 00:43:14,931 It's cool. - Yeah? 1176 00:43:14,933 --> 00:43:17,267 I hope you don't mind if I work one out to you later. 1177 00:43:17,269 --> 00:43:18,401 I'd like that. 1178 00:43:18,403 --> 00:43:19,769 Yeah? - Uh-huh. 1179 00:43:19,771 --> 00:43:21,371 Then I will. 1180 00:43:24,475 --> 00:43:26,142 Mmm. 1181 00:43:28,879 --> 00:43:30,614 Goodnight. - Goodnight. 1182 00:43:32,650 --> 00:43:34,551 Bye. - Bye. 1183 00:43:34,553 --> 00:43:35,986 [chuckles] 1184 00:43:46,764 --> 00:43:48,298 This sucks. 1185 00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:50,000 This all sucks. 1186 00:43:50,501 --> 00:43:51,668 Yes! 1187 00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:53,303 What's up? 1188 00:43:53,305 --> 00:43:54,604 That was Barry. 1189 00:43:54,606 --> 00:43:56,172 He and Mel are totally hitting it off. 1190 00:43:56,174 --> 00:43:57,507 Oh my god, that is amazing! 1191 00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:58,775 I know! - Oh my God! 1192 00:43:58,777 --> 00:43:59,843 This could be it! 1193 00:43:59,845 --> 00:44:01,144 Oh my God. - Yes! 1194 00:44:01,146 --> 00:44:02,679 Oh. 1195 00:44:07,351 --> 00:44:08,785 They're going out again on Friday? 1196 00:44:08,787 --> 00:44:09,953 That's huge! 1197 00:44:09,955 --> 00:44:12,122 Yeah, think of the freedom. 1198 00:44:12,124 --> 00:44:13,490 Zihuatenejo, my friend. 1199 00:44:13,492 --> 00:44:14,858 you realize what this could mean, right? 1200 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:18,194 eating at restaurants without being publicly humiliated. 1201 00:44:18,196 --> 00:44:20,597 Going to sporting events without fear or ejection. 1202 00:44:20,599 --> 00:44:21,431 Not having people say, 1203 00:44:21,433 --> 00:44:22,666 "Hey, you know your friend Barry? 1204 00:44:22,668 --> 00:44:24,768 Don't ever bring him to my motherfucking house again." 1205 00:44:24,770 --> 00:44:25,869 And that's a woman saying that. 1206 00:44:25,871 --> 00:44:27,303 I'm gonna meet so many more chicks. 1207 00:44:27,305 --> 00:44:29,506 Ah, I'm gonna bone Rachel a lot. 1208 00:44:29,508 --> 00:44:30,974 And I'm gonna talk to Camille. 1209 00:44:30,976 --> 00:44:31,975 Go what? - What? 1210 00:44:31,977 --> 00:44:36,780 It's time to make right what once was, um... 1211 00:44:38,482 --> 00:44:40,250 Aw, hell no. 1212 00:44:42,486 --> 00:44:44,487 Hey. - Oh, hey. 1213 00:44:44,489 --> 00:44:46,189 I didn't even see you over there. 1214 00:44:46,191 --> 00:44:50,060 I- I'd seen you earlier, but I- I- I... 1215 00:44:50,995 --> 00:44:52,328 Cool. - What's up? 1216 00:44:52,330 --> 00:44:55,398 Honestly, I'm not doing so well. 1217 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,033 I just broke up with someone. 1218 00:44:57,035 --> 00:44:58,968 You already got a new boyfriend 1219 00:44:58,970 --> 00:45:00,704 and then- and then broke up with him? 1220 00:45:00,706 --> 00:45:03,039 It's been, like, eleven days. 1221 00:45:03,041 --> 00:45:05,842 Yeah, I moved on, Kurt. 1222 00:45:05,844 --> 00:45:06,843 Didn't you? 1223 00:45:06,845 --> 00:45:08,545 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I did. 1224 00:45:08,547 --> 00:45:09,746 I moved on, a lot, 1225 00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:11,381 to a lot of different women. 1226 00:45:11,383 --> 00:45:13,983 Wow. Anyone special? 1227 00:45:13,985 --> 00:45:16,720 No! No- yeah, no, just it's hard to notice 1228 00:45:16,722 --> 00:45:20,423 'cause there's so many- so much ass coming my way, 1229 00:45:20,425 --> 00:45:22,826 it's all the clingy bitches and, you know. 1230 00:45:22,828 --> 00:45:25,595 Awesome, well, it was really nice running into you. 1231 00:45:25,597 --> 00:45:26,996 But I don't really talk to them anymore, you know? 1232 00:45:26,998 --> 00:45:29,165 They weren't up to my standards, you know? 1233 00:45:29,167 --> 00:45:30,500 Really? - Yeah. 1234 00:45:30,502 --> 00:45:31,601 Once you go black, you never go back... 1235 00:45:31,603 --> 00:45:33,470 Doesn't apply. 1236 00:45:33,472 --> 00:45:36,573 He's not dumb enough to pursue that again. 1237 00:45:36,575 --> 00:45:37,741 I don't know. 1238 00:45:37,743 --> 00:45:38,908 Um. 1239 00:45:41,512 --> 00:45:42,512 But, you know what? 1240 00:45:42,514 --> 00:45:43,313 Let's just focus on the positive, all right? 1241 00:45:43,315 --> 00:45:49,686 We are about to embark on a brand new chapter of our lives. 1242 00:45:49,688 --> 00:45:51,721 You're baked. - What? 1243 00:45:51,723 --> 00:45:53,323 [blows raspberries] 1244 00:45:54,258 --> 00:45:56,259 Don't do that. You're scaring the customers. 1245 00:45:58,028 --> 00:45:59,462 Daddy feels like getting wet! 1246 00:45:59,464 --> 00:46:00,296 Oh! 1247 00:46:00,298 --> 00:46:01,397 You got nothin'! 1248 00:46:01,399 --> 00:46:02,699 [laughs] 1249 00:46:03,701 --> 00:46:05,502 Ah! [biker grunts] 1250 00:46:08,639 --> 00:46:12,108 Go, go, go, go, go! [laughing] 1251 00:46:12,110 --> 00:46:13,877 You sure it's okay to do it out here? 1252 00:46:13,879 --> 00:46:17,046 Yeah, nobody's gonna knooow! 1253 00:46:17,048 --> 00:46:18,581 Damn, that shit is good! 1254 00:46:18,583 --> 00:46:20,116 Ah! 1255 00:46:20,118 --> 00:46:23,586 Tell me about, um, your day. 1256 00:46:23,588 --> 00:46:25,722 Mm, mm-hmm. 1257 00:46:28,225 --> 00:46:29,726 [laughter] 1258 00:46:30,161 --> 00:46:32,428 So funny. 1259 00:46:32,430 --> 00:46:35,765 [sings unintelligibly] 1260 00:46:35,767 --> 00:46:37,500 ♪ Oh Barry ♪ 1261 00:46:37,502 --> 00:46:38,968 I don't have the words or anything yet. 1262 00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:40,303 But you got Barry in there, you put Barry in there. 1263 00:46:40,305 --> 00:46:41,538 That's me. 1264 00:46:42,006 --> 00:46:43,439 Throw it up there. 1265 00:46:43,441 --> 00:46:44,808 Yeah, that's good. 1266 00:46:44,810 --> 00:46:46,509 Why don't you try again here 1267 00:46:46,511 --> 00:46:47,911 and do a couple, uh, 1268 00:46:47,913 --> 00:46:49,012 do a couple yourself. 1269 00:46:49,014 --> 00:46:50,346 Check it out. I'll be right back. 1270 00:46:50,348 --> 00:46:52,849 Was that Hatha yoga you were practicing over there? 1271 00:46:52,851 --> 00:46:55,084 I saw it. That was incredible! 1272 00:46:55,086 --> 00:46:57,720 ♪ ♪ 1273 00:46:59,423 --> 00:47:01,090 Hmm? Hmm? 1274 00:47:03,627 --> 00:47:04,961 [cheering] Put me down! 1275 00:47:04,963 --> 00:47:06,696 Put me down! 1276 00:47:06,698 --> 00:47:09,732 ♪ ♪ 1277 00:47:22,146 --> 00:47:23,479 [clears throat] 1278 00:47:23,481 --> 00:47:24,447 Smooth it out. - Just smooth it out. 1279 00:47:24,449 --> 00:47:25,481 Use some spit. 1280 00:47:25,483 --> 00:47:26,349 I think it's like-- 1281 00:47:26,351 --> 00:47:27,784 Use a little spit. 1282 00:47:28,552 --> 00:47:29,719 Yeah, 'cause there's a bigger vein. 1283 00:47:29,721 --> 00:47:31,554 There's a big vein going, just-- 1284 00:47:31,556 --> 00:47:32,655 Okay. - Yeah. 1285 00:47:32,657 --> 00:47:34,157 So add a little bit to the base. 1286 00:47:34,159 --> 00:47:35,692 Yeah, yeah. Here, here, here. 1287 00:47:35,694 --> 00:47:36,960 Easy fix. - That looks really good. 1288 00:47:36,962 --> 00:47:39,863 ♪ ♪ 1289 00:47:45,202 --> 00:47:47,770 [Mel giggling] 1290 00:47:49,807 --> 00:47:51,841 Everybody watch! This is the big finish! 1291 00:47:51,843 --> 00:47:52,976 Aah! 1292 00:47:52,978 --> 00:47:55,645 Oh, oh, ah, ah! 1293 00:47:55,647 --> 00:47:58,248 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1294 00:48:00,584 --> 00:48:02,719 Oh, don't touch. Oh, don't touch. 1295 00:48:02,721 --> 00:48:04,821 Oh it's sensi- oh it's delicate, it's tender. 1296 00:48:06,724 --> 00:48:08,424 So? - so? 1297 00:48:08,426 --> 00:48:09,726 Tell us everything. 1298 00:48:09,728 --> 00:48:11,828 Okay. Mel is amazing. 1299 00:48:11,830 --> 00:48:13,663 She's unbelievable. I- 1300 00:48:13,665 --> 00:48:15,331 The last two weeks have been magical 1301 00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:16,566 and I- I don't wanna get cheesy, 1302 00:48:16,568 --> 00:48:19,168 but deep down in my heart I feel like she understands me 1303 00:48:19,170 --> 00:48:21,004 as no one else ever has. 1304 00:48:21,839 --> 00:48:23,773 Plus, she's got a super-wide bush. 1305 00:48:23,775 --> 00:48:24,741 Yeah, I love it. 1306 00:48:24,743 --> 00:48:25,842 This is great news. 1307 00:48:25,844 --> 00:48:27,043 It is! I know, right? 1308 00:48:27,045 --> 00:48:29,612 Most girls wax, but not Mel. 1309 00:48:29,614 --> 00:48:31,547 I like to get lost down there in some jungle. 1310 00:48:31,549 --> 00:48:33,783 No, I- I meant it's great news that it's going so well. 1311 00:48:33,785 --> 00:48:34,951 Yeah, not great news about the bush. 1312 00:48:34,953 --> 00:48:35,952 Oh, right. Yeah. 1313 00:48:35,954 --> 00:48:37,220 Well, that too. 1314 00:48:37,222 --> 00:48:38,054 That is going very well. 1315 00:48:38,056 --> 00:48:39,722 Um, but mainly the relationship. 1316 00:48:39,724 --> 00:48:40,924 Well, you haven't seen this bush. 1317 00:48:40,926 --> 00:48:41,925 It's outstanding. 1318 00:48:41,927 --> 00:48:43,927 Sounds like a real throwback. - So... 1319 00:48:43,929 --> 00:48:44,727 ... moving on. 1320 00:48:44,729 --> 00:48:46,029 What are you guys coin'? 1321 00:48:46,031 --> 00:48:47,697 Dude, can you not put gum underneath my bar? 1322 00:48:47,699 --> 00:48:50,867 Last time I put it on top of the bar you flipped out, 1323 00:48:50,869 --> 00:48:52,635 and now I put it under the bar, which is the next logical step, 1324 00:48:52,637 --> 00:48:54,270 What do you want me to do with it? 1325 00:48:54,272 --> 00:48:55,705 So... you and Mel? 1326 00:48:55,707 --> 00:48:57,707 Seems like you guys are going the distance, huh? 1327 00:48:57,709 --> 00:48:59,609 Yeah, sounds like you met your soul mate. 1328 00:48:59,611 --> 00:49:00,810 You're intended. 1329 00:49:00,812 --> 00:49:02,412 Could be your future bride. 1330 00:49:02,414 --> 00:49:04,414 Hey, I-I-I don't know. I don't know. 1331 00:49:04,416 --> 00:49:06,950 I mean, yeah, she is, she is pretty amazing. 1332 00:49:06,952 --> 00:49:08,084 Did I mention her bush? 1333 00:49:08,086 --> 00:49:08,985 Indeed you did. - In detail. 1334 00:49:08,987 --> 00:49:11,888 I can't believe you have a girlfriend, man! 1335 00:49:11,890 --> 00:49:12,889 Yeah, I know. 1336 00:49:12,891 --> 00:49:13,990 When do we get to meet her? - Uh... 1337 00:49:13,992 --> 00:49:15,325 We're going to Kurt's cabin this weekend. 1338 00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:16,225 You should bring her. 1339 00:49:16,227 --> 00:49:17,927 Yeah, yeah, Kurt, can I? 1340 00:49:17,929 --> 00:49:19,062 Yeah, it'll be fun. That'll be cool. 1341 00:49:19,064 --> 00:49:20,630 Yes! Yeah! 1342 00:49:20,632 --> 00:49:22,065 [all talking] 1343 00:49:22,067 --> 00:49:23,299 You're gonna love her. 1344 00:49:23,301 --> 00:49:24,767 You might even get a peek at that bush. 1345 00:49:24,769 --> 00:49:25,969 I don't know. We'll see what we can do. 1346 00:49:25,971 --> 00:49:27,070 I'm okay with just meeting her. 1347 00:49:27,072 --> 00:49:29,005 Why'd you invite Barry again? 1348 00:49:29,007 --> 00:49:31,007 I told you, he's got a girlfriend now, so... 1349 00:49:31,009 --> 00:49:32,008 And? 1350 00:49:32,010 --> 00:49:33,910 And it'll be totally different. 1351 00:49:33,912 --> 00:49:35,812 This'll be the kinder, gentler Barry. 1352 00:49:35,814 --> 00:49:38,114 Exactly, she'll keep him on a short leash. 1353 00:49:38,116 --> 00:49:39,749 Yeah, kinda like a buffer. 1354 00:49:39,751 --> 00:49:41,284 A little Barry buffer. 1355 00:49:41,286 --> 00:49:43,286 Great. - Oh, there they are. 1356 00:49:43,288 --> 00:49:44,487 Hey! 1357 00:49:44,489 --> 00:49:45,688 Hey! 1358 00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:47,023 [horn honking] 1359 00:49:47,025 --> 00:49:48,925 We knew you were there before the honk. 1360 00:49:48,927 --> 00:49:50,693 Hello! - This is Mel. 1361 00:49:50,695 --> 00:49:51,794 Oh, she's so pretty! 1362 00:49:51,796 --> 00:49:54,197 Oh, she looks like an angel from heaven. 1363 00:49:54,199 --> 00:49:55,832 Hi! - Hey. 1364 00:49:55,834 --> 00:49:58,334 Hi, I'm Desmond, great to meet you. 1365 00:49:58,336 --> 00:50:00,970 Oh! Okay, the guy who couldn't get it up for his wife. 1366 00:50:00,972 --> 00:50:01,971 Yep, wha--? - That's him. 1367 00:50:01,973 --> 00:50:02,839 Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. 1368 00:50:02,841 --> 00:50:05,274 So you must be the lucky lady 1369 00:50:05,276 --> 00:50:07,677 who's finally getting some. 1370 00:50:07,679 --> 00:50:09,879 That's me. My name is Rachel. 1371 00:50:09,881 --> 00:50:11,114 You didn't tell me her name was Rachel. 1372 00:50:11,116 --> 00:50:13,850 I used- I had a, um, a rat called Rachel, yeah. 1373 00:50:13,852 --> 00:50:16,152 Cool, um, this is-- - That's a detail. 1374 00:50:16,154 --> 00:50:17,353 Wait, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna guess, 1375 00:50:17,355 --> 00:50:19,989 because he has told me so much about you all. 1376 00:50:19,991 --> 00:50:20,790 Watch this. Watch this. 1377 00:50:20,792 --> 00:50:23,326 Um, skank-magnet... 1378 00:50:23,328 --> 00:50:25,094 ice queen... [laughs] 1379 00:50:26,030 --> 00:50:27,663 no-balls pushover. [laughs] 1380 00:50:27,665 --> 00:50:30,700 Yeah, you hit- hit the nail on the head, there. 1381 00:50:30,702 --> 00:50:31,834 I know, I know, look at her, 1382 00:50:31,836 --> 00:50:33,036 she's got some brains up there, huh? 1383 00:50:33,038 --> 00:50:35,972 Not to mention a beautiful set of knockers right here. 1384 00:50:35,974 --> 00:50:37,473 Sorry, they're only B-cup. - Only. 1385 00:50:37,475 --> 00:50:38,474 Well, they're actually- 1386 00:50:38,476 --> 00:50:40,977 I can swell to a C when I'm menstruating. 1387 00:50:40,979 --> 00:50:42,145 Ah, that's disgusting. 1388 00:50:42,147 --> 00:50:43,880 Oh my God, I never thought I'd say this to a lady, 1389 00:50:43,882 --> 00:50:45,248 but I can't wait for your time of the month. 1390 00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:46,215 Uh. 1391 00:50:46,217 --> 00:50:47,683 But get ready for the three Bs. 1392 00:50:47,685 --> 00:50:49,052 Bloated, bitchy and breasty. 1393 00:50:49,054 --> 00:50:50,219 [laughing] 1394 00:50:50,221 --> 00:50:51,921 Oh my God, I'm getting a little B of my own right here. 1395 00:50:51,923 --> 00:50:53,923 Check it out. - I- I looked. 1396 00:50:53,925 --> 00:50:55,892 Mmm. You know what guys? I wanna- I wanna drive. 1397 00:50:55,894 --> 00:50:57,593 [all telling him no] 1398 00:50:57,595 --> 00:50:59,028 No, no, no, I wanna drive, I wanna drive. 1399 00:50:59,030 --> 00:50:59,662 I wanna drive. 1400 00:50:59,664 --> 00:51:01,597 Do you wanna get in there and make out a bit 1401 00:51:01,599 --> 00:51:02,932 before these guys finish packing? 1402 00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:05,201 Yeah, um, if the van's a-rockin'- 1403 00:51:05,203 --> 00:51:06,736 Don't come knockin'. - Nah, I'm kidding. 1404 00:51:06,738 --> 00:51:08,071 It's another joke. It's another joke. 1405 00:51:08,073 --> 00:51:09,839 We won't go all the way. - No, just oral. 1406 00:51:09,841 --> 00:51:11,574 Please don't do that in my car. Please don't. 1407 00:51:11,576 --> 00:51:12,909 Rafe, put my shit in the back. 1408 00:51:15,612 --> 00:51:17,180 [laughs sarcastically] 1409 00:51:20,117 --> 00:51:23,086 [playing loud dubstep music ♪] 1410 00:51:23,088 --> 00:51:26,589 ♪ ♪ 1411 00:51:27,925 --> 00:51:29,926 ♪ Superconductor ♪ 1412 00:51:29,928 --> 00:51:31,961 I'm feeling carsick! 1413 00:51:31,963 --> 00:51:33,496 What? 1414 00:51:33,797 --> 00:51:34,964 Hoo-hoo! 1415 00:51:34,966 --> 00:51:36,933 This sounds like the soundtrack from Gizmo. 1416 00:51:36,935 --> 00:51:37,967 Huh? 1417 00:51:37,969 --> 00:51:40,203 This is awful! - Yeah, it's awesome! 1418 00:51:40,205 --> 00:51:42,905 No, it sounds like what insanity must feel like. 1419 00:51:42,907 --> 00:51:44,107 Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. 1420 00:51:44,109 --> 00:51:46,642 Barry, uh, can you maybe turn that song off? 1421 00:51:46,644 --> 00:51:51,547 This music is horrible. It's making my eardrums bleed. 1422 00:51:51,549 --> 00:51:52,815 Oh! - Sorry, sorry. 1423 00:51:52,817 --> 00:51:56,052 Okay, Mister No-taste. [music turns off] 1424 00:51:56,054 --> 00:51:57,386 Thank you. - Thanks. 1425 00:51:57,388 --> 00:51:58,521 That was just a lot. - Yeah. 1426 00:51:58,523 --> 00:52:00,089 Here we go. - Uh-huh 1427 00:52:00,091 --> 00:52:03,059 [both rapping] You know, a playa makin' money, fuckin' all these bitches 1428 00:52:03,061 --> 00:52:06,062 three at a time, hydraulics in the switches, 1429 00:52:06,064 --> 00:52:08,998 got these hos and the bitches licking up my ice cream, 1430 00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,001 bitch squeeze the DJ, come fuck wit my team, 1431 00:52:12,003 --> 00:52:14,270 Oh, make your ass shake, shake your moneymaker, 1432 00:52:14,272 --> 00:52:15,671 take it to the hotel 1433 00:52:15,673 --> 00:52:17,273 and show her how my dick can break her, 1434 00:52:17,275 --> 00:52:20,176 yeah, life ain't shit without pussy on my dick, no. 1435 00:52:20,178 --> 00:52:22,445 Pussy on your dick... great. 1436 00:52:22,447 --> 00:52:23,980 [music fades out] 1437 00:52:23,982 --> 00:52:26,516 [quiet traffic noise] 1438 00:52:27,918 --> 00:52:29,085 Ready? - Yeah. 1439 00:52:32,489 --> 00:52:35,491 [loud flatulence] 1440 00:52:35,493 --> 00:52:39,462 [Barry sniffs and gags] Oh my God. 1441 00:52:39,464 --> 00:52:41,497 [sniffing and squealing] 1442 00:52:41,499 --> 00:52:43,232 What? - It stinks! 1443 00:52:44,168 --> 00:52:45,535 Who did that? - Who ripped it? 1444 00:52:45,537 --> 00:52:47,103 That'd be me. - Are you serious?! 1445 00:52:47,105 --> 00:52:49,438 Are you steaming broccoli in there? 1446 00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:50,506 It's tuna. 1447 00:52:50,508 --> 00:52:51,807 I'll open up the window. - Fuck! 1448 00:52:51,809 --> 00:52:53,576 It won't open! - What's going on? 1449 00:52:53,578 --> 00:52:56,045 Did I accidentally lock the windows? 1450 00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,647 I'm not familiar with this car. 1451 00:52:57,649 --> 00:53:00,016 Oh my God, it's in my eyes! 1452 00:53:00,018 --> 00:53:01,717 Oh you stink so good. 1453 00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:02,885 Since we're all locked in anyway, 1454 00:53:02,887 --> 00:53:04,153 lemme, lemme add to the party. 1455 00:53:04,155 --> 00:53:05,454 It's gonna be good, listen! 1456 00:53:05,456 --> 00:53:06,856 [farting] 1457 00:53:06,858 --> 00:53:08,624 [all reacting with disgust] 1458 00:53:08,626 --> 00:53:10,026 Oh! [laughing] 1459 00:53:10,028 --> 00:53:11,727 Oh, there was a high note on that one. 1460 00:53:11,729 --> 00:53:13,062 I'm gonna hurl! 1461 00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:15,031 You guys, I think he's allergic! 1462 00:53:15,033 --> 00:53:16,332 I'm gonna hurl! 1463 00:53:16,334 --> 00:53:18,334 Oh my God. 1464 00:53:18,336 --> 00:53:21,037 [Mel] They're choking. Look how great. 1465 00:53:21,039 --> 00:53:22,939 [Rafe] Unlock the windows, Barry! 1466 00:53:24,341 --> 00:53:26,742 [Mel] Ah, it's gorgeous. [Barry] Isn't it? 1467 00:53:26,744 --> 00:53:28,678 Oh, I can't wait to pork you here. 1468 00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:30,046 You're the best porker. 1469 00:53:30,048 --> 00:53:31,347 I know, aren't I? 1470 00:53:31,349 --> 00:53:33,249 I've been wanting to pork you the whole car ride. 1471 00:53:33,251 --> 00:53:34,350 The whole ride? - Yeah. 1472 00:53:34,352 --> 00:53:36,419 Uh, how many bedrooms have you got? 1473 00:53:36,421 --> 00:53:37,753 One. - Dibs! 1474 00:53:37,755 --> 00:53:39,088 [Mel laughs] 1475 00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:40,056 [Barry] Get up there. Get up there. 1476 00:53:40,058 --> 00:53:41,157 Rafe, grab my shit. [door closes] 1477 00:53:41,159 --> 00:53:42,725 This is gonna be fun, guys. 1478 00:53:42,727 --> 00:53:45,494 Yeah... yeah, I'm havin' fun. 1479 00:53:45,496 --> 00:53:47,496 You guys havin' fun? [Camille] No. 1480 00:53:47,498 --> 00:53:49,565 I can taste that fart. 1481 00:53:49,567 --> 00:53:52,001 [Rachel] I'm so excited to go swimming! 1482 00:53:52,003 --> 00:53:53,703 This is the best part of comin' up here. 1483 00:53:53,705 --> 00:53:55,438 Yeah. You guys are gonna love it. 1484 00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,006 I used to go to this swimming hole all the time 1485 00:53:57,008 --> 00:53:57,707 when I was a kid. 1486 00:53:57,709 --> 00:53:59,709 Is it gonna be cold? 1487 00:53:59,711 --> 00:54:01,777 Yeah, it'll be great! Come on! 1488 00:54:01,779 --> 00:54:02,778 Yeah, yeah, come on guys. 1489 00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:04,113 Last one in is a rotten piece of shit! 1490 00:54:04,115 --> 00:54:06,082 Woo-hoo! 1491 00:54:06,084 --> 00:54:08,284 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1492 00:54:08,286 --> 00:54:09,118 Here we go! 1493 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,886 [Camille groans] 1494 00:54:10,888 --> 00:54:12,688 Fresh air feels good on my balls! 1495 00:54:12,690 --> 00:54:14,590 Okay, there's actually some board games back at the cabin. 1496 00:54:14,592 --> 00:54:15,558 Oh yeah. - I'm into that. 1497 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:16,959 I love me some board games. 1498 00:54:16,961 --> 00:54:18,227 What better way to spend a beautiful day? 1499 00:54:18,229 --> 00:54:19,262 [Barry in the distance] Show 'em your bush! 1500 00:54:19,264 --> 00:54:21,597 It's so nice. - Yeah, babe. 1501 00:54:21,599 --> 00:54:23,132 Yeah, and this, this one here 1502 00:54:23,134 --> 00:54:25,101 is actually three generations of my family 1503 00:54:25,103 --> 00:54:26,802 standing just out front, so. 1504 00:54:26,804 --> 00:54:29,105 [Mel squeals] [Barry] Oh my God! 1505 00:54:29,107 --> 00:54:30,806 [belches] 1506 00:54:30,808 --> 00:54:32,275 Did you see that? Let me do it! 1507 00:54:32,277 --> 00:54:33,743 I haven't done that in so long. 1508 00:54:33,745 --> 00:54:34,977 Oh my God, all right. Your turn, your turn. 1509 00:54:34,979 --> 00:54:37,446 No, you gotta let, you gotta get it all gathered in here. 1510 00:54:37,448 --> 00:54:39,115 Come on Rafe! Come on, buddy! 1511 00:54:39,117 --> 00:54:40,750 Come on, get out here! 1512 00:54:40,752 --> 00:54:42,385 Not my thing. Stopped doing that in college. 1513 00:54:42,387 --> 00:54:44,287 [Barry] Go, go, go. Do it. 1514 00:54:44,289 --> 00:54:45,821 This is a pine needle fort 1515 00:54:45,823 --> 00:54:49,392 I made for the beetle army I was raising. 1516 00:54:49,394 --> 00:54:51,761 Look at this, she's just letting it slide right down her throat! 1517 00:54:51,763 --> 00:54:53,229 Oh, God, that's sexy. 1518 00:54:53,231 --> 00:54:54,230 [Mel gags] Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1519 00:54:54,232 --> 00:54:56,232 Right in the sink. Do it, do it. Yeah. 1520 00:54:56,234 --> 00:54:59,168 This is one of my, uh, my old cats we used to... 1521 00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:00,503 [Mel vomiting] 1522 00:55:00,505 --> 00:55:02,238 ...bring up here. 1523 00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:03,139 [Barry] It's okay, right? 1524 00:55:03,141 --> 00:55:04,473 [Mel] I got some puke up my nose. 1525 00:55:04,475 --> 00:55:05,308 [Desmond gagging] 1526 00:55:05,310 --> 00:55:07,310 Are you- ? You don't look too well. 1527 00:55:07,312 --> 00:55:09,211 Mmm. - Mmm. 1528 00:55:11,114 --> 00:55:12,581 [vomiting] 1529 00:55:12,583 --> 00:55:14,150 Honey, breathe, breathe. 1530 00:55:14,152 --> 00:55:15,785 I just wish they would, like, throw up quieter. 1531 00:55:15,787 --> 00:55:17,053 Oh. - Shhh. 1532 00:55:18,655 --> 00:55:21,424 Mmm, there you go. [zipper unzipping] 1533 00:55:21,426 --> 00:55:23,092 Ah! - Oh! 1534 00:55:23,094 --> 00:55:24,460 Don't look back there. 1535 00:55:24,462 --> 00:55:25,961 Don't look back there. - Oh, God. 1536 00:55:25,963 --> 00:55:28,164 Kitchen blowy, guys. 1537 00:55:28,166 --> 00:55:29,298 This is heaven. [laughs] 1538 00:55:29,300 --> 00:55:31,300 [vomiting] Oh. 1539 00:55:31,302 --> 00:55:32,201 Okay, come on up. 1540 00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:34,203 Let's just try to enjoy ourselves. 1541 00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,204 Yeah. 1542 00:55:35,206 --> 00:55:37,306 Lady up! [laughing] 1543 00:55:37,308 --> 00:55:38,874 We should play Twister! 1544 00:55:38,876 --> 00:55:40,176 This wine is nice. 1545 00:55:40,178 --> 00:55:41,777 [Barry] I think the more you puke, the drunker you get, 1546 00:55:41,779 --> 00:55:43,145 isn't that the way it goes? 1547 00:55:43,147 --> 00:55:45,614 [Mel] Did I get puke on your cock? 1548 00:55:45,616 --> 00:55:47,216 Don't worry about it. I like it. 1549 00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,453 Think that's enough? 1550 00:55:50,455 --> 00:55:53,055 Maybe a few more would be sexier. 1551 00:55:53,057 --> 00:55:54,223 You got it, juicy jugs. 1552 00:55:54,225 --> 00:55:55,825 Let me just check on the gang. 1553 00:55:55,827 --> 00:55:58,361 Make sure everyone is nice and cozy. 1554 00:55:58,363 --> 00:55:59,995 Everybody? 1555 00:55:59,997 --> 00:56:01,297 Everybody doin' okay down there? 1556 00:56:01,299 --> 00:56:02,798 [all] No. 1557 00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:04,233 Yeah, I love sleepin' in chairs. 1558 00:56:04,235 --> 00:56:05,401 All right. 1559 00:56:05,403 --> 00:56:07,203 G'night everybody. Sleep tight. 1560 00:56:07,205 --> 00:56:09,238 [Desmond] That is inevitable. [Barry] Love you guys. 1561 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,140 [Rafe] Kurt, do you hear a coyote or something? 1562 00:56:11,142 --> 00:56:13,509 [Kurt] No, this- this is not even camp, 1563 00:56:13,511 --> 00:56:14,677 it's Cabin in the Woods. 1564 00:56:14,679 --> 00:56:16,212 [Mel shrieks] 1565 00:56:16,214 --> 00:56:18,080 [Barry mumbling] 1566 00:56:18,082 --> 00:56:19,181 Are they fucking up there? 1567 00:56:19,183 --> 00:56:20,316 It's not that bad. 1568 00:56:20,318 --> 00:56:22,651 It's actually kinda romantic if you think about it. 1569 00:56:24,855 --> 00:56:26,021 [Camille gagging] 1570 00:56:26,023 --> 00:56:28,324 Oh no! - Get that off me. 1571 00:56:28,326 --> 00:56:29,325 [Barry] Start slowly. 1572 00:56:29,327 --> 00:56:30,593 Yep. Definitely having sex. 1573 00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:32,528 [Barry] Slow down, slow down, or I'm gonna come early. 1574 00:56:32,530 --> 00:56:35,331 Bleh, bleh. It's in my mouth. 1575 00:56:35,333 --> 00:56:36,499 [Mel] Sorry! [Barry] For what? 1576 00:56:36,501 --> 00:56:38,234 Do you smell something? - What? 1577 00:56:38,236 --> 00:56:39,268 [Mel and Barry] Yeah! Yeah! 1578 00:56:39,270 --> 00:56:41,370 [fire blazing] 1579 00:56:41,372 --> 00:56:43,038 [walkie talkie chatter] 1580 00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,207 It looks worse than it is, I think, Kurt. 1581 00:56:45,209 --> 00:56:47,143 It's completely engulfed in flames. 1582 00:56:47,145 --> 00:56:51,046 They're gonna save your place, I promise you. 1583 00:56:51,048 --> 00:56:53,282 Your place is toast. - Shit. 1584 00:56:53,284 --> 00:56:55,751 But I did manage to save your family albums. 1585 00:56:59,756 --> 00:57:01,357 Well, I tried. 1586 00:57:02,859 --> 00:57:05,227 Oh, man, those albums were old 1587 00:57:05,229 --> 00:57:06,729 and you're barely in them, 1588 00:57:06,731 --> 00:57:08,364 and listen, don't worry, don't worry about it, okay? 1589 00:57:08,366 --> 00:57:10,466 I will rebuild it with my own bare hands. 1590 00:57:10,468 --> 00:57:11,967 I took wood shop in high school - 1591 00:57:11,969 --> 00:57:13,369 Aah! I'm gonna kill you! 1592 00:57:13,371 --> 00:57:15,438 It was an accident! - You're an accident! 1593 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:16,906 I only used that many candles 1594 00:57:16,908 --> 00:57:18,741 'cause it made Mel's body look so fine. 1595 00:57:18,743 --> 00:57:20,376 I mean, wouldn't you? - Go away! 1596 00:57:20,378 --> 00:57:21,911 Go away forever and don't come back! 1597 00:57:21,913 --> 00:57:23,779 You don't mean that. - Yes he does! 1598 00:57:23,781 --> 00:57:25,181 We all do. 1599 00:57:26,416 --> 00:57:28,117 Rafe? 1600 00:57:28,119 --> 00:57:29,785 I think you should go, Barry. 1601 00:57:29,787 --> 00:57:31,287 Seriously? 1602 00:57:31,289 --> 00:57:32,988 It's not all his fault. 1603 00:57:32,990 --> 00:57:34,990 I am just as responsible, and I-- 1604 00:57:34,992 --> 00:57:36,392 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, Mel, no, no. 1605 00:57:36,394 --> 00:57:38,461 It was an accident- it was an accident. 1606 00:57:38,463 --> 00:57:39,962 Kurt, I promise you 1607 00:57:39,964 --> 00:57:42,431 I am not gonna burn your cabin down anymore, okay? 1608 00:57:42,433 --> 00:57:43,399 Obviously, Barry! 1609 00:57:43,401 --> 00:57:46,001 That's impossible! There's only one! 1610 00:57:46,003 --> 00:57:47,136 What about "Pals forever"? 1611 00:57:47,138 --> 00:57:48,804 Stop saying that! - Why? 1612 00:57:48,806 --> 00:57:50,673 Because it's just a stupid motto from camp 1613 00:57:50,675 --> 00:57:51,640 and it doesn't mean anything. 1614 00:57:51,642 --> 00:57:52,908 Des, babe, let's-- - Rachel! 1615 00:57:52,910 --> 00:57:54,310 It means something to me. 1616 00:57:54,312 --> 00:57:56,078 Get it straight, Barry, 1617 00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:59,415 you ruined our trip and we want you gone. 1618 00:57:59,417 --> 00:58:02,318 And you can take your inappropriate girlfriend with you. 1619 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,153 What do you mean my inappropriate girlfriend? 1620 00:58:04,155 --> 00:58:05,621 She's a train wreck, dude. 1621 00:58:05,623 --> 00:58:07,323 Yeah, nobody likes her. 1622 00:58:07,325 --> 00:58:09,358 She's just as bad as you are. 1623 00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,894 Face it, she is a Barry, Barry. 1624 00:58:13,430 --> 00:58:14,830 What's a Barry? - What's a- 1625 00:58:14,832 --> 00:58:17,199 I'll tell you what a Barry is, Barry. 1626 00:58:17,201 --> 00:58:19,201 A Barry is a person with no couth, 1627 00:58:19,203 --> 00:58:20,769 no sense of propriety. 1628 00:58:20,771 --> 00:58:22,438 It's a person who gets you fired, 1629 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,139 destroys your relationships, 1630 00:58:24,141 --> 00:58:27,610 and pretty much ruins everything in your entire life! 1631 00:58:27,612 --> 00:58:32,014 Okay, look, I don't care what you think of me, 1632 00:58:32,016 --> 00:58:34,383 but Barry has been nothing but an amazing friend 1633 00:58:34,385 --> 00:58:35,584 to you all. 1634 00:58:35,586 --> 00:58:36,852 Oh, really? 1635 00:58:36,854 --> 00:58:38,954 'Cause from where I'm sitting, he's ruined everything. 1636 00:58:38,956 --> 00:58:40,389 We didn't mean to do it. 1637 00:58:40,391 --> 00:58:42,391 It doesn't matter what you mean to do. 1638 00:58:42,393 --> 00:58:44,793 What matters is what you do do. 1639 00:58:44,795 --> 00:58:45,728 [Mel snorts] 1640 00:58:45,730 --> 00:58:47,463 Doo-doo. 1641 00:58:48,164 --> 00:58:49,632 Mel, grow up. 1642 00:58:49,634 --> 00:58:50,833 Come on. 1643 00:58:50,835 --> 00:58:53,035 Guys, guys. It's me. It's Barry, okay? 1644 00:58:53,037 --> 00:58:55,638 It's your best friend. Let's- let's talk about this. 1645 00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,540 Friends stick by each other no matter what. 1646 00:58:57,542 --> 00:58:59,475 I mean even- even through cabin fires, right? 1647 00:58:59,477 --> 00:59:02,545 Well, there's a limit to what we can handle, Barry. 1648 00:59:02,547 --> 00:59:04,947 Why do you think we tried so hard to find you a wife? 1649 00:59:06,416 --> 00:59:09,084 It's because we were trying to get rid of you! 1650 00:59:09,086 --> 00:59:11,420 [quiet sad music ♪] 1651 00:59:11,422 --> 00:59:14,423 ♪ ♪ 1652 00:59:17,661 --> 00:59:19,995 That's why you did it? 1653 00:59:19,997 --> 00:59:22,097 You guys wanted to get rid of me? 1654 00:59:27,337 --> 00:59:28,604 I see. 1655 00:59:30,674 --> 00:59:32,308 Let's get out of here, man. 1656 00:59:34,578 --> 00:59:36,278 [sighs] 1657 00:59:39,449 --> 00:59:43,619 ♪ ♪ 1658 00:59:55,465 --> 00:59:57,433 Those guys are assholes. 1659 00:59:57,435 --> 00:59:59,501 No, they're not assholes. I'm the asshole. 1660 01:00:00,604 --> 01:00:02,471 Well, I think they're assholes. 1661 01:00:02,473 --> 01:00:05,274 Stop calling them assholes. They're my friends. 1662 01:00:05,276 --> 01:00:07,610 Friends stand by each other, remember? 1663 01:00:07,612 --> 01:00:10,245 So do boyfriends, by the way. 1664 01:00:10,247 --> 01:00:11,413 What? 1665 01:00:12,148 --> 01:00:14,216 Where- where is that coming from? 1666 01:00:16,553 --> 01:00:17,553 Really? 1667 01:00:18,488 --> 01:00:19,455 What, Mel? 1668 01:00:19,457 --> 01:00:20,756 What- what- 1669 01:00:20,758 --> 01:00:22,891 what was I supposed to say? 1670 01:00:22,893 --> 01:00:24,560 Well, I don't think 1671 01:00:24,562 --> 01:00:25,661 you were supposed to tell me to grow up. 1672 01:00:25,663 --> 01:00:26,962 I see. Okay. 1673 01:00:26,964 --> 01:00:29,231 So this is about you now, obviously. 1674 01:00:29,233 --> 01:00:32,501 My best friends, my lifelong best friends, 1675 01:00:32,503 --> 01:00:33,936 just ripped my heart out of my chest 1676 01:00:33,938 --> 01:00:36,071 and told me that they never wanna see me again 1677 01:00:36,073 --> 01:00:37,439 and you're fucking crying? - I- 1678 01:00:37,441 --> 01:00:38,607 You're hurt?! 1679 01:00:38,609 --> 01:00:40,242 You're the one who's hurt?! 1680 01:00:41,077 --> 01:00:43,545 First of all, I am not crying. 1681 01:00:45,415 --> 01:00:49,485 Barry, I'm not crying, but my feelings were hurt 1682 01:00:49,487 --> 01:00:51,153 because your lifelong best friends 1683 01:00:51,155 --> 01:00:52,488 said some not very nice things about me. 1684 01:00:52,490 --> 01:00:53,455 That hurt you? 1685 01:00:53,457 --> 01:00:55,758 Yes, it did. And you didn't say anything. 1686 01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,159 Wai- 1687 01:00:58,928 --> 01:01:00,429 ...did you agree with them? 1688 01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:04,700 No. 1689 01:01:07,637 --> 01:01:09,304 That wasn't very convincing. 1690 01:01:09,306 --> 01:01:11,674 Well, maybe there's a kernel of truth to it, Mel. 1691 01:01:13,977 --> 01:01:15,010 What's that mean? 1692 01:01:15,012 --> 01:01:17,179 I'm saying it can't be a coincidence 1693 01:01:17,181 --> 01:01:19,715 that the-the first time I bring you up to the cabin 1694 01:01:19,717 --> 01:01:21,150 my friends dump me. 1695 01:01:21,152 --> 01:01:22,351 Oh... 1696 01:01:22,353 --> 01:01:24,887 So, okay, so it's- this is all my fault. 1697 01:01:24,889 --> 01:01:26,522 Yes, it's your fault, okay? 1698 01:01:26,524 --> 01:01:28,657 My life was perfect before I met you. 1699 01:01:28,659 --> 01:01:29,825 It was perfection. - What? 1700 01:01:29,827 --> 01:01:31,493 And now it's a big old pile of shit. 1701 01:01:31,495 --> 01:01:33,996 Barry, did you say your life was perfect before me? 1702 01:01:33,998 --> 01:01:36,699 Because I thought you had no job, and no relationship, 1703 01:01:36,701 --> 01:01:38,901 and your friends still wanted to get rid of you. 1704 01:01:38,903 --> 01:01:40,969 Well that worked for me, Mel. 1705 01:01:40,971 --> 01:01:41,770 Okay?! 1706 01:01:41,772 --> 01:01:44,540 You're a dick. - Oh, now I'm a dick. 1707 01:01:44,542 --> 01:01:47,176 Yes, Barry. You know, if the dick fits. 1708 01:01:47,178 --> 01:01:50,245 Well I think you know the dick fits. 1709 01:01:50,247 --> 01:01:51,480 Please never ever call me again. 1710 01:01:51,482 --> 01:01:52,815 Oh, that's fine. 1711 01:01:52,817 --> 01:01:55,851 [mimicking Mel's accent] I'll neva eva eva call you again. 1712 01:01:55,853 --> 01:01:57,019 I'll neva. 1713 01:01:57,021 --> 01:01:59,054 I wouldn't dream of it, Mel. 1714 01:01:59,056 --> 01:02:00,589 Mel! 1715 01:02:01,357 --> 01:02:02,825 [dog barking in the distance] 1716 01:02:06,896 --> 01:02:08,097 Fuck. 1717 01:02:10,066 --> 01:02:12,000 I kinda feel bad for the guy. 1718 01:02:12,869 --> 01:02:14,603 Look, it's not what any of us wanted, 1719 01:02:14,605 --> 01:02:16,071 but it had to happen. 1720 01:02:16,073 --> 01:02:17,873 Yeah, it did. 1721 01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:21,210 Let's face it, our friendship with Barry has run its course. 1722 01:02:21,212 --> 01:02:22,778 It's just time we move on with our lives, 1723 01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:23,612 you know what I mean? 1724 01:02:23,614 --> 01:02:24,947 [sighs] 1725 01:02:24,949 --> 01:02:26,582 [cellphone vibrating] 1726 01:02:27,784 --> 01:02:29,084 Oh. 1727 01:02:29,953 --> 01:02:31,520 Who's that? 1728 01:02:31,522 --> 01:02:33,689 It's one of the, uh, agencies I applied to. 1729 01:02:33,691 --> 01:02:35,624 Be right back. 1730 01:02:35,626 --> 01:02:36,759 Hello? 1731 01:02:38,194 --> 01:02:40,963 They loved my reel and just won two new accounts. 1732 01:02:40,965 --> 01:02:42,264 I start Monday. 1733 01:02:42,266 --> 01:02:44,133 Oh my God, baby, I am so proud of you. 1734 01:02:44,135 --> 01:02:46,235 That's awesome. - I know! 1735 01:02:46,237 --> 01:02:47,536 You go ahead. I'll be up in a bit. 1736 01:02:47,538 --> 01:02:48,637 What are you gonna do? 1737 01:02:48,639 --> 01:02:50,139 Ah, I'm just gonna jot down some campaign ideas 1738 01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,774 before I forget. 1739 01:02:52,208 --> 01:02:53,675 I won't be long. 1740 01:02:57,113 --> 01:02:59,314 [Sarah] This is kind of an unusual date. 1741 01:02:59,316 --> 01:03:03,118 No, it- it's romantic and- and fun and, you know, 1742 01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:04,453 I couldn't find a sitter, so. 1743 01:03:04,455 --> 01:03:06,822 I think he wants to play baseball. 1744 01:03:06,824 --> 01:03:08,891 That's what the mitt's for, Dad. 1745 01:03:08,893 --> 01:03:11,627 Right, but this is something we all can do together. 1746 01:03:11,629 --> 01:03:14,563 And then when he goes to bed, you can stick around, 1747 01:03:14,565 --> 01:03:15,564 we'll have some wine. 1748 01:03:15,566 --> 01:03:16,899 I'm gonna go. - Why? 1749 01:03:16,901 --> 01:03:19,768 You need to be with your son and, honestly, 1750 01:03:19,770 --> 01:03:21,770 I'm not ready for this. 1751 01:03:21,772 --> 01:03:22,938 Bye, JT. - Bye. 1752 01:03:22,940 --> 01:03:25,841 Sarah, really? You're seriously leaving? 1753 01:03:26,910 --> 01:03:28,544 [door closes] 1754 01:03:31,681 --> 01:03:33,482 I guess it's just you and me, bud. 1755 01:03:33,484 --> 01:03:35,751 Cool. - Yeah, cool. 1756 01:03:38,588 --> 01:03:40,455 You wanna just order a pizza? 1757 01:03:40,457 --> 01:03:41,757 Yeah. 1758 01:03:41,759 --> 01:03:44,159 ♪ ♪ 1759 01:03:44,161 --> 01:03:47,129 Desmond, the client loves the campaign, 1760 01:03:47,131 --> 01:03:48,297 so we're a go. - Awesome! 1761 01:03:48,299 --> 01:03:49,665 I'll drop by your office later 1762 01:03:49,667 --> 01:03:51,099 and we'll talk about the production schedule. 1763 01:03:51,101 --> 01:03:52,267 Okay. - Great job, man. 1764 01:03:52,269 --> 01:03:53,702 Thank you. 1765 01:03:53,704 --> 01:03:55,237 Ah. 1766 01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:57,573 Huh. 1767 01:03:58,541 --> 01:04:01,610 Oh, and Desmond, this is just a silly formality, 1768 01:04:01,612 --> 01:04:03,645 but because of our new parent company... 1769 01:04:03,647 --> 01:04:05,981 ...HR needs you to take a drug test. 1770 01:04:05,983 --> 01:04:08,884 [high voice] Okay... no problem. 1771 01:04:11,721 --> 01:04:13,188 [sighs] 1772 01:04:13,190 --> 01:04:15,557 [piano music ♪] 1773 01:04:15,559 --> 01:04:18,594 ♪ ♪ 1774 01:04:31,808 --> 01:04:33,609 [buttons beep] 1775 01:04:34,644 --> 01:04:35,811 [sighs] 1776 01:05:10,213 --> 01:05:12,848 [upbeat music ♪] 1777 01:05:12,850 --> 01:05:15,918 ♪ ♪ 1778 01:05:42,045 --> 01:05:43,645 Bend your knees a little. 1779 01:05:43,647 --> 01:05:45,247 Elbow up like this. 1780 01:05:45,249 --> 01:05:47,983 You stare down that pitcher, you stare him in the eye. 1781 01:05:47,985 --> 01:05:49,818 Oh, hey! 1782 01:05:50,620 --> 01:05:52,421 Bases are loaded, bottom of the ninth, 1783 01:05:52,423 --> 01:05:55,624 crowd's on its feet. Here's the pitch! 1784 01:05:55,626 --> 01:05:57,392 Boom! 1785 01:05:57,394 --> 01:05:58,760 Deep center! 1786 01:05:58,762 --> 01:06:01,797 Let's do that again! - Do it again. All right. 1787 01:06:01,799 --> 01:06:03,799 Okay, everybody who has a pair of scissors near them 1788 01:06:03,801 --> 01:06:05,300 pick them up, all right? 1789 01:06:05,302 --> 01:06:06,802 I'd like you to put them on this finger, 1790 01:06:06,804 --> 01:06:09,438 your index finger right here, and start twirling. 1791 01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:12,274 Do it, do it, get your scissors, come on, all right? 1792 01:06:12,276 --> 01:06:14,843 This is the exact wrong way to handle a pair of scissors, okay? 1793 01:06:14,845 --> 01:06:16,411 Don't ever let me catch you doing this! 1794 01:06:16,413 --> 01:06:17,946 Put 'em down. Put 'em down. 1795 01:06:17,948 --> 01:06:20,649 Okay, put it on your finger again. Spin it around. 1796 01:06:20,651 --> 01:06:23,285 [imitates buzzer] You fail! I just said don't do that! 1797 01:06:23,287 --> 01:06:24,820 Listen, guys, if you don't start working harder, 1798 01:06:24,822 --> 01:06:26,521 I'm gonna take each and every one of you individually 1799 01:06:26,523 --> 01:06:28,190 to the outhouse and I'm gonna fart on your face. 1800 01:06:28,192 --> 01:06:30,425 [kids laughing] 1801 01:06:30,427 --> 01:06:34,029 ♪ ♪ 1802 01:06:44,474 --> 01:06:46,908 [silence] 1803 01:06:50,847 --> 01:06:52,881 [coughs] 1804 01:06:52,883 --> 01:06:54,783 Hm? - Hey. 1805 01:06:55,318 --> 01:06:56,518 Baby, wake up. 1806 01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:57,719 What time is it? 1807 01:06:57,721 --> 01:06:59,688 Three a.m. 1808 01:06:59,690 --> 01:07:01,123 What? Is everything okay? 1809 01:07:01,125 --> 01:07:02,324 Are you all right? - No. Mm-hmm. 1810 01:07:02,326 --> 01:07:04,793 What's wrong? - I have cotton mouth. 1811 01:07:04,795 --> 01:07:05,994 What? 1812 01:07:05,996 --> 01:07:07,295 I need juice. 1813 01:07:08,131 --> 01:07:11,500 There's water on the nightstand. - Juice. 1814 01:07:11,502 --> 01:07:13,135 Okay, I'll get you some from the fridge. 1815 01:07:13,137 --> 01:07:15,737 I need the Golden Acres juice. 1816 01:07:15,739 --> 01:07:18,874 You know, the one with the organic farm on the label. 1817 01:07:18,876 --> 01:07:21,143 You know, the one that I like. 1818 01:07:22,378 --> 01:07:25,714 Uh, okay, I'll buy some tomorrow. 1819 01:07:25,716 --> 01:07:27,849 I need it now. 1820 01:07:28,684 --> 01:07:30,819 You- you want me to go get you some now? 1821 01:07:30,821 --> 01:07:32,387 Mm-hmm. 1822 01:07:32,389 --> 01:07:33,121 You... 1823 01:07:33,123 --> 01:07:35,891 ...just to clarify, you want me to get up 1824 01:07:35,893 --> 01:07:38,360 and walk eleven blocks at three in the morning 1825 01:07:38,362 --> 01:07:40,062 to get you specific juice? 1826 01:07:41,064 --> 01:07:43,765 Maybe we shouldn't have gotten back together. 1827 01:07:43,767 --> 01:07:45,200 What are you saying? Don't say that. 1828 01:07:45,202 --> 01:07:49,438 Every other boyfriend woulda done this for me. 1829 01:07:53,910 --> 01:07:55,343 All right. 1830 01:07:55,345 --> 01:07:56,378 Yeah. 1831 01:07:56,380 --> 01:07:57,612 All right, yeah. 1832 01:07:57,614 --> 01:08:00,115 I got ya. I'm getting up. 1833 01:08:01,551 --> 01:08:04,186 I am getting up and I am getting dressed. 1834 01:08:04,188 --> 01:08:05,320 Thanks. 1835 01:08:05,955 --> 01:08:07,956 And I'm walkin' out the door. 1836 01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:08,890 Thanks, sweetie. 1837 01:08:08,892 --> 01:08:10,725 To my place. 1838 01:08:10,727 --> 01:08:11,927 What? 1839 01:08:11,929 --> 01:08:14,362 You know, Barry was right. 1840 01:08:15,098 --> 01:08:16,965 You don't deserve me. 1841 01:08:17,934 --> 01:08:19,101 Barry's never right. 1842 01:08:19,103 --> 01:08:20,368 Barry, 1843 01:08:20,370 --> 01:08:22,804 I will admit, he has a poor batting average, 1844 01:08:22,806 --> 01:08:25,040 but he is right in this instance! 1845 01:08:25,042 --> 01:08:25,974 Why are you getting so angry? 1846 01:08:25,976 --> 01:08:27,742 Because I am a treasure, Camille, 1847 01:08:27,744 --> 01:08:29,878 and you're a bad pirate. 1848 01:08:30,613 --> 01:08:31,880 What? 1849 01:08:32,615 --> 01:08:34,116 You're joking, right? 1850 01:08:34,118 --> 01:08:36,084 I'll tell you something else. 1851 01:08:36,086 --> 01:08:38,253 No one, in their right mind, unless they're insane, 1852 01:08:38,255 --> 01:08:40,422 paints this many pictures of themselves. 1853 01:08:40,424 --> 01:08:41,823 I'm beautiful. 1854 01:08:41,825 --> 01:08:43,959 No, you're a madman. 1855 01:08:43,961 --> 01:08:45,227 I love me. 1856 01:08:45,229 --> 01:08:46,928 Not anymore. 1857 01:08:46,930 --> 01:08:49,898 Last thing, 'cause I know I've been back and forth a bit, 1858 01:08:49,900 --> 01:08:53,235 no woman who knows her body, like you claim to do, 1859 01:08:53,237 --> 01:08:55,137 takes an hour and a half to orgasm. 1860 01:08:55,139 --> 01:08:59,007 That's too much work and I'm down there munching away. 1861 01:08:59,009 --> 01:09:00,809 So look at me now, Camille. 1862 01:09:00,811 --> 01:09:03,145 Look at me, this is what a man looks like. 1863 01:09:03,147 --> 01:09:05,080 This is what it looks like, okay? 1864 01:09:05,082 --> 01:09:06,181 This is what it looks like 1865 01:09:06,183 --> 01:09:08,650 with a man who now has his dignity back. 1866 01:09:08,652 --> 01:09:09,918 Goodbye, Camille. 1867 01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:13,155 Now you have to eat your own stew... 1868 01:09:13,157 --> 01:09:14,890 ...'cause-- 1869 01:09:38,147 --> 01:09:39,781 Wow. 1870 01:09:40,383 --> 01:09:41,716 It seems like you miss him. 1871 01:09:41,718 --> 01:09:43,351 Uh... 1872 01:09:43,686 --> 01:09:45,020 ...no. 1873 01:09:45,655 --> 01:09:47,522 No, I don't, not really. 1874 01:09:49,225 --> 01:09:51,126 I just... 1875 01:09:52,195 --> 01:09:54,563 ...I never met anyone I felt so connected to 1876 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:56,598 in my entire life. 1877 01:09:57,733 --> 01:10:01,937 And, so, it hurts a bit. 1878 01:10:03,172 --> 01:10:06,007 Because I thought he was different. 1879 01:10:06,009 --> 01:10:09,110 But he wasn't and that's fine. 1880 01:10:11,214 --> 01:10:13,715 There's a new tech guy at my office. 1881 01:10:13,717 --> 01:10:15,250 I could introduce you. 1882 01:10:15,252 --> 01:10:16,918 What do ya think? 1883 01:10:19,155 --> 01:10:24,426 I think I am not going to let myself get hurt anymore. 1884 01:10:24,428 --> 01:10:26,161 But thanks. 1885 01:10:28,097 --> 01:10:29,965 Thank you. 1886 01:10:38,774 --> 01:10:40,542 Hey, what's going on? 1887 01:10:40,544 --> 01:10:43,245 I thought we were gonna sleep in. 1888 01:10:43,247 --> 01:10:45,213 Yeah, I can't sleep. [sighs] 1889 01:10:45,215 --> 01:10:48,183 My boss wants me to take a drug test. 1890 01:10:48,185 --> 01:10:49,784 I'm gonna lose my job. 1891 01:10:53,122 --> 01:10:54,256 Okay. 1892 01:10:54,258 --> 01:10:55,223 [sighs] 1893 01:10:55,225 --> 01:10:56,858 We'll figure something out. 1894 01:11:00,096 --> 01:11:03,732 But you have to promise something. 1895 01:11:03,734 --> 01:11:05,367 What? What? 1896 01:11:05,369 --> 01:11:06,835 Okay, look, um... 1897 01:11:07,803 --> 01:11:10,905 You love your job just as much as I love my job. 1898 01:11:10,907 --> 01:11:11,940 Yeah. 1899 01:11:13,142 --> 01:11:15,110 But I feel like things were just starting to get good again 1900 01:11:15,112 --> 01:11:16,945 and now we're kind of like slipping back 1901 01:11:16,947 --> 01:11:19,281 into that bad place, you know what I mean? 1902 01:11:20,383 --> 01:11:21,583 I do. 1903 01:11:21,585 --> 01:11:22,384 Yeah. 1904 01:11:22,386 --> 01:11:24,819 Okay, so let's just make a deal. 1905 01:11:24,821 --> 01:11:26,121 You don't work weekends 1906 01:11:26,123 --> 01:11:28,323 and we'll both take our vacation days. 1907 01:11:28,325 --> 01:11:29,991 Does that sound good? 1908 01:11:29,993 --> 01:11:31,259 Yeah, yeah. 1909 01:11:31,261 --> 01:11:32,460 That sounds good. 1910 01:11:33,262 --> 01:11:34,629 I love you. 1911 01:11:34,631 --> 01:11:36,164 Mmm. 1912 01:11:36,166 --> 01:11:37,399 I'm still gonna get fired. 1913 01:11:37,401 --> 01:11:39,801 No... 'cause I've got a plan. 1914 01:11:42,471 --> 01:11:44,439 Strictly week days, huh? - Mm-hmm. 1915 01:11:44,441 --> 01:11:47,142 We, uh, found some balance. 1916 01:11:47,843 --> 01:11:49,244 I dumped Camille. - Really? 1917 01:11:49,246 --> 01:11:51,413 Yeah, I- I think I can do better. 1918 01:11:51,415 --> 01:11:52,447 Wow. 1919 01:11:52,449 --> 01:11:53,515 We never liked her. 1920 01:11:53,517 --> 01:11:55,250 Not even a bit. - Barry mentioned that. 1921 01:11:55,252 --> 01:11:57,819 She was a straight-up bizznussneeznashnush. 1922 01:11:57,821 --> 01:11:59,854 She offered me a blow job once. 1923 01:11:59,856 --> 01:12:02,090 Too soon. - She offered. I said no. 1924 01:12:02,092 --> 01:12:03,158 Rafe, how's dating? 1925 01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:04,526 Uh, haven't been. 1926 01:12:04,528 --> 01:12:07,195 Without Barry I've been spending a ton of time with JT. 1927 01:12:07,197 --> 01:12:08,963 The kid's great. 1928 01:12:08,965 --> 01:12:10,832 He does miss Barry, though. 1929 01:12:10,834 --> 01:12:13,802 I mean I don't, at all, no. 1930 01:12:13,804 --> 01:12:15,637 The guy was a nightmare. 1931 01:12:15,639 --> 01:12:18,206 It's so much easier without him around. 1932 01:12:18,208 --> 01:12:19,641 No more messes to clean up. 1933 01:12:19,643 --> 01:12:20,642 No more hassles. 1934 01:12:20,644 --> 01:12:23,178 No one to apologize for. 1935 01:12:23,180 --> 01:12:25,180 No one to apologize for. 1936 01:12:27,850 --> 01:12:29,284 It kinda sucks. 1937 01:12:29,286 --> 01:12:30,685 Yeah. 1938 01:12:30,687 --> 01:12:32,087 Totally. 1939 01:12:35,157 --> 01:12:36,691 I'm just so bummed, you know, 1940 01:12:36,693 --> 01:12:38,293 not only was she a really fantastic girl, 1941 01:12:38,295 --> 01:12:44,232 but she had... these great, big juicy jugs, you know? 1942 01:12:44,234 --> 01:12:46,134 Just showstoppers. 1943 01:12:46,136 --> 01:12:47,802 [knock on the door] Oh... 1944 01:12:47,804 --> 01:12:49,170 someone's at my door. I-I gotta go. 1945 01:12:49,172 --> 01:12:50,305 I'll call you later, okay Grandma? 1946 01:12:50,307 --> 01:12:51,906 I love you. Bye. 1947 01:12:55,211 --> 01:12:56,778 [all] Hey. 1948 01:12:58,047 --> 01:12:59,714 What are you guys doing here? 1949 01:12:59,716 --> 01:13:01,116 Can we talk? 1950 01:13:03,986 --> 01:13:05,019 Uh... 1951 01:13:05,821 --> 01:13:07,655 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on in. 1952 01:13:09,525 --> 01:13:12,927 And when we say we are sorry about everything we said and did 1953 01:13:12,929 --> 01:13:14,262 we really mean it. 1954 01:13:14,264 --> 01:13:15,864 What we said was mean. 1955 01:13:15,866 --> 01:13:17,899 And the stuff we said about Mel, too. 1956 01:13:17,901 --> 01:13:19,267 I mean she didn't deserve that. 1957 01:13:19,269 --> 01:13:21,503 Yeah, she didn't deserve that. She's a sweetheart. 1958 01:13:21,505 --> 01:13:22,937 But I'll relay that message to her 1959 01:13:22,939 --> 01:13:24,406 if I ever talk to her again. 1960 01:13:25,074 --> 01:13:26,274 We want you back, Barry. 1961 01:13:26,276 --> 01:13:27,909 We're your friends, Barry. Always. 1962 01:13:27,911 --> 01:13:31,112 No matter what ridiculous, obnoxious, inane, 1963 01:13:31,114 --> 01:13:32,747 stupid thing you might do. 1964 01:13:32,749 --> 01:13:35,250 Yeah, I probably will do something like that. 1965 01:13:35,252 --> 01:13:37,352 Barry, will you forgive us? 1966 01:13:38,621 --> 01:13:40,188 I don't think so. 1967 01:13:41,257 --> 01:13:43,425 Now I want you guys to get out of my house right now. 1968 01:13:43,427 --> 01:13:45,727 Get outta here! 1969 01:13:45,729 --> 01:13:48,229 I'm kidding! I'm kidding. I'm kidding, guys. 1970 01:13:48,231 --> 01:13:49,798 Oh my God I got goose bumps. 1971 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:51,232 Like, I could barely pull that off. 1972 01:13:51,234 --> 01:13:52,200 Did you guys see that? 1973 01:13:52,202 --> 01:13:53,134 Ah! - Yeah. 1974 01:13:53,136 --> 01:13:54,269 So, pals forever? 1975 01:13:54,271 --> 01:13:55,303 Dick tattoos, finally? 1976 01:13:55,305 --> 01:13:56,371 Are we gonna do it? [all] No. 1977 01:13:56,373 --> 01:13:59,073 You get a tattoo of a dick on your dick 1978 01:13:59,075 --> 01:14:00,942 and on the tattoo of the dick on your dick 1979 01:14:00,944 --> 01:14:02,277 it says, "Pals forever." 1980 01:14:02,279 --> 01:14:03,378 I'm mainly concerned about the pain. 1981 01:14:03,380 --> 01:14:04,546 That'a the point! 1982 01:14:04,548 --> 01:14:05,747 Asshole! 1983 01:14:05,749 --> 01:14:07,382 [laughter] 1984 01:14:07,384 --> 01:14:09,150 I love it when you get this guy. 1985 01:14:09,152 --> 01:14:10,318 Look at you! [laughing] 1986 01:14:14,757 --> 01:14:18,493 [Kurt] And I knew that if I just concentrated hard enough, 1987 01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:19,594 believed hard enough, 1988 01:14:19,596 --> 01:14:22,230 [Desmond] You didn't revive the possum, Kurt. 1989 01:14:22,232 --> 01:14:24,666 That's what they do. They play possum. 1990 01:14:24,668 --> 01:14:26,100 You never heard of playing possum? 1991 01:14:26,102 --> 01:14:28,236 No, why would you wanna play with a dead animal? 1992 01:14:28,238 --> 01:14:30,004 They're not dead. They're pretending to be dead. 1993 01:14:30,006 --> 01:14:32,440 You did not revive that animal. 1994 01:14:32,442 --> 01:14:36,110 Rafe, maybe you're not understanding me. 1995 01:14:36,112 --> 01:14:39,280 You don't have the powers to revive dead animals. 1996 01:14:39,282 --> 01:14:40,315 [Desmond] Whatcha got there, man? 1997 01:14:40,317 --> 01:14:42,450 Hey! Hey, buddy. 1998 01:14:42,452 --> 01:14:43,485 Nothin'. 1999 01:14:43,487 --> 01:14:46,988 Just, uh... oh, uh, I, uh, 2000 01:14:46,990 --> 01:14:48,756 have something here I've been meaning to give to you 2001 01:14:48,758 --> 01:14:50,758 for a little while. 2002 01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:54,195 It's, uh, my share of the mail order bride. 2003 01:14:54,197 --> 01:14:56,331 Or it's a start, anyway. 2004 01:14:56,333 --> 01:14:57,632 Thanks, man. 2005 01:14:57,634 --> 01:15:01,503 I do need a wallet, but for now, this'll have to do. 2006 01:15:01,505 --> 01:15:04,172 How are you, man? - Good, good, good. 2007 01:15:04,174 --> 01:15:05,340 Yeah, I'm really well. 2008 01:15:05,342 --> 01:15:07,809 You know, like, uh, things feel... 2009 01:15:07,811 --> 01:15:10,512 ...uh, things feel shitty. 2010 01:15:10,514 --> 01:15:11,513 I can't get over Mel. 2011 01:15:11,515 --> 01:15:12,947 I can't stop thinking about her. 2012 01:15:12,949 --> 01:15:14,816 I'm just- I'm a wreck. 2013 01:15:14,818 --> 01:15:16,784 You know, I- I- [chuckles] 2014 01:15:16,786 --> 01:15:18,720 most girls don't understand me, Des. 2015 01:15:18,722 --> 01:15:19,554 They punch me. 2016 01:15:19,556 --> 01:15:22,357 But Mel, she got me. 2017 01:15:22,359 --> 01:15:24,025 And I blew it. 2018 01:15:24,027 --> 01:15:25,460 Well, you got us, man. 2019 01:15:25,462 --> 01:15:27,028 Yeah, I know, I know. And I- 2020 01:15:27,030 --> 01:15:28,796 I'm thrilled that we're all hanging out together again, 2021 01:15:28,798 --> 01:15:30,431 believe me, I-I just... 2022 01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:34,469 Nobody else makes me feel the way that she does. 2023 01:15:34,471 --> 01:15:36,070 And that's no slam to you guys, you know? 2024 01:15:36,072 --> 01:15:37,405 Nobody makes me feel that way. 2025 01:15:37,407 --> 01:15:40,174 I- I- I've never even considered 2026 01:15:40,176 --> 01:15:42,043 spending the rest of my life with somebody. 2027 01:15:42,045 --> 01:15:43,411 Have you told her this? 2028 01:15:43,413 --> 01:15:45,647 What do you mean? - Like, how you feel? 2029 01:15:45,649 --> 01:15:46,748 How would I do that? 2030 01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:49,584 I mean, what you said sounded pretty darn good. 2031 01:15:49,586 --> 01:15:51,753 No, what? You think? 2032 01:15:51,755 --> 01:15:53,054 Absolutely. 2033 01:15:53,056 --> 01:15:54,689 I gotta tell her, don't I? - For sure. 2034 01:15:54,691 --> 01:15:56,891 I gotta do this. I'm gonna- we gotta- I gotta do this. 2035 01:15:56,893 --> 01:15:57,926 I'm gonna do it on Monday. 2036 01:15:57,928 --> 01:15:59,561 Well, um, why- why Monday? 2037 01:15:59,563 --> 01:16:02,497 Monday's way better for me. The weekend is packed. 2038 01:16:02,499 --> 01:16:03,565 I got- I got grout. 2039 01:16:03,567 --> 01:16:06,000 I gotta transfer all my BluRays to DVD. 2040 01:16:06,002 --> 01:16:07,902 You cannot wait 'til Monday, Barry. 2041 01:16:07,904 --> 01:16:10,204 You've met the woman that you wanna drive everyone crazy with 2042 01:16:10,206 --> 01:16:11,506 for the rest of your life. 2043 01:16:11,508 --> 01:16:13,708 Yeah. - You have to be with her now. 2044 01:16:13,710 --> 01:16:15,343 I have to. - Good. 2045 01:16:15,345 --> 01:16:16,611 Do you know where she is? 2046 01:16:16,613 --> 01:16:19,347 What's today? - Um, Friday. 2047 01:16:19,349 --> 01:16:21,282 Yeah, I know exactly where she is. 2048 01:16:21,284 --> 01:16:23,217 Let smile the heavens upon this holy act 2049 01:16:23,219 --> 01:16:26,554 that after hours with sorrow chide us not. 2050 01:16:26,556 --> 01:16:28,323 Amen. 2051 01:16:29,024 --> 01:16:31,092 But come what sorrow can. 2052 01:16:31,094 --> 01:16:33,728 It cannot countervail the exchange of joy 2053 01:16:33,730 --> 01:16:36,364 that one short minute gives me in her sight. 2054 01:16:36,366 --> 01:16:37,565 Do we really need to be running? 2055 01:16:37,567 --> 01:16:39,534 No, it's just more romantic this way! 2056 01:16:39,536 --> 01:16:42,537 Hey, any idea where I could get some clean urine? 2057 01:16:42,539 --> 01:16:44,872 I have some. Not mine, but I have some. 2058 01:16:44,874 --> 01:16:46,140 It is my ghostly confessor. 2059 01:16:46,142 --> 01:16:48,376 Romeo shall thank thee for us both. 2060 01:16:48,378 --> 01:16:50,912 As much to him, else is his thanks too much. 2061 01:16:50,914 --> 01:16:53,615 Ah, Juliet if the measure of thy joy be heaped like mine 2062 01:16:53,617 --> 01:16:55,617 and that thy skill be more to blazon 2063 01:16:55,619 --> 01:16:57,819 the imagined happiness that both receive and... 2064 01:16:57,821 --> 01:17:00,488 [whispering] Barry... Barry. 2065 01:17:00,490 --> 01:17:01,456 What? 2066 01:17:01,458 --> 01:17:02,457 There's an entrance. 2067 01:17:02,459 --> 01:17:03,658 No, it's okay, I got in. 2068 01:17:03,660 --> 01:17:05,393 I fell in over here. 2069 01:17:05,395 --> 01:17:06,761 Do you guys know Mel Miller? 2070 01:17:06,763 --> 01:17:08,396 My true love has grown to such excess- 2071 01:17:08,398 --> 01:17:11,065 Anybody seen Mel Miller? Hey. 2072 01:17:11,067 --> 01:17:12,900 Comes a messenger. [chuckling] 2073 01:17:12,902 --> 01:17:13,735 Sorry. 2074 01:17:13,737 --> 01:17:15,436 Go to, messenger. 2075 01:17:15,438 --> 01:17:16,971 I'll have words with you later. 2076 01:17:16,973 --> 01:17:18,406 Ah! - Oh! 2077 01:17:18,408 --> 01:17:20,174 Mel Miller? Mel Miller?! 2078 01:17:20,176 --> 01:17:21,609 Shut up, asshole! 2079 01:17:21,611 --> 01:17:23,111 She's a British blonde bombshell, 2080 01:17:23,113 --> 01:17:23,978 works here? 2081 01:17:23,980 --> 01:17:26,581 Listen, they both take suicide pills 2082 01:17:26,583 --> 01:17:27,849 and they die, okay? It's really sad. 2083 01:17:27,851 --> 01:17:29,183 [crowd booing] 2084 01:17:29,185 --> 01:17:31,519 You just ruined the whole play, you idiot! 2085 01:17:31,521 --> 01:17:32,987 Oh my God. Oh, you didn't know that? 2086 01:17:32,989 --> 01:17:34,689 Oh you guys didn't know that? 2087 01:17:34,691 --> 01:17:36,124 It's called the eighth grade, dummies! 2088 01:17:36,126 --> 01:17:38,626 Try it some time. It's Romeo and Juliet. 2089 01:17:38,628 --> 01:17:39,727 Ah, there she is, there's-- 2090 01:17:39,729 --> 01:17:41,996 I need to talk to you, please come here. 2091 01:17:41,998 --> 01:17:43,498 Pretend it's part of the show, Barry, please. 2092 01:17:43,500 --> 01:17:45,466 Not until I say some things to you. 2093 01:17:45,468 --> 01:17:46,634 [audience complaining] 2094 01:17:46,636 --> 01:17:48,102 This will just take a moment. 2095 01:17:48,104 --> 01:17:50,304 He's very sick. I'm so sorry. 2096 01:17:50,306 --> 01:17:52,607 I'm sorry, this is a lovely setting for Shakespeare. 2097 01:17:52,609 --> 01:17:53,808 Now I just need to say a couple of things. 2098 01:17:53,810 --> 01:17:55,343 No, no, stay here. I have to do it here! 2099 01:17:55,345 --> 01:17:56,944 I have to do it here! 2100 01:17:56,946 --> 01:17:58,613 So- sorry. - Yes. 2101 01:17:58,615 --> 01:18:00,682 Yes. - Sorry. 2102 01:18:02,317 --> 01:18:03,618 I- 2103 01:18:04,019 --> 01:18:06,220 I la-mmm- 2104 01:18:06,622 --> 01:18:08,556 I love- I love- 2105 01:18:09,124 --> 01:18:11,325 I love your tits. - Oh! 2106 01:18:11,327 --> 01:18:12,560 That's- 'ey, 'ey, 'ey, 'ey! 2107 01:18:12,562 --> 01:18:13,961 That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. 2108 01:18:13,963 --> 01:18:15,530 I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm not that gross. 2109 01:18:15,532 --> 01:18:17,565 I do love her tits I just- you got great tits, 2110 01:18:17,567 --> 01:18:19,200 I love your tits. - I know that. 2111 01:18:19,202 --> 01:18:22,036 I can do better, I- I- - What? 2112 01:18:22,038 --> 01:18:23,905 I love- I love- 2113 01:18:24,406 --> 01:18:26,040 I love your breath... 2114 01:18:26,042 --> 01:18:27,642 even in the morning when it- when it smells 2115 01:18:27,644 --> 01:18:29,143 like a sweaty sock. 2116 01:18:29,145 --> 01:18:30,478 I love it even more that way. 2117 01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:32,580 I just wanna climb inside your mouth and live there. 2118 01:18:32,582 --> 01:18:34,048 I love that I could al- I can always tell 2119 01:18:34,050 --> 01:18:35,750 what you've had for lunch because I can taste it later 2120 01:18:35,752 --> 01:18:37,385 when we're making out. 2121 01:18:37,387 --> 01:18:39,420 And- and I love- I love that you're so not into your looks 2122 01:18:39,422 --> 01:18:41,255 that you don't even care that you have a daddy long legs mole 2123 01:18:41,257 --> 01:18:43,057 growing under your arm and it's got little whiskers 2124 01:18:43,059 --> 01:18:44,358 and you never pluck 'em. 2125 01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:46,160 It's disgusting. - I do. 2126 01:18:46,162 --> 01:18:50,398 And I- and I- and I love, I love that your accent is so thick I have... 2127 01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:51,666 I literally have no idea what you're saying to me 2128 01:18:51,668 --> 01:18:53,267 half the time. - Is that it? 2129 01:18:53,269 --> 01:18:55,236 Yeah. See, I could barely even understand that. 2130 01:18:55,238 --> 01:18:58,539 I love that your nose whistles every time I make you come. 2131 01:18:58,541 --> 01:19:01,242 And I- and I love that your little nickname for my butthole 2132 01:19:01,244 --> 01:19:02,944 is my smelly button. 2133 01:19:02,946 --> 01:19:05,880 And- and- and I love that you have to take off all your clothes 2134 01:19:05,882 --> 01:19:07,715 every time you have to take a poo. 2135 01:19:07,717 --> 01:19:08,883 Even in public restrooms. 2136 01:19:08,885 --> 01:19:10,718 It's so adorable. 2137 01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:11,953 It takes forever. 2138 01:19:11,955 --> 01:19:13,521 And I- and I love, I love that you have 2139 01:19:13,523 --> 01:19:16,090 a- a dedicated savings account just for future space travel. 2140 01:19:16,092 --> 01:19:18,192 I do. Yeah, I do. 2141 01:19:18,194 --> 01:19:21,028 And- and- and I love your little mustache. 2142 01:19:21,030 --> 01:19:22,964 I didn't know you noticed it. 2143 01:19:22,966 --> 01:19:25,266 It's my favorite little mustache I've ever seen. 2144 01:19:25,268 --> 01:19:27,802 Even if that makes me gay. 2145 01:19:27,804 --> 01:19:30,471 I'm gay for your 'stache. 2146 01:19:30,473 --> 01:19:32,373 I'm gay for her 'stache! 2147 01:19:33,609 --> 01:19:34,776 And... 2148 01:19:36,411 --> 01:19:38,179 ...most importantly... 2149 01:19:40,716 --> 01:19:42,383 ...I love you. 2150 01:19:45,621 --> 01:19:46,888 Barry! 2151 01:19:48,757 --> 01:19:50,758 How am I supposed to stay angry with you 2152 01:19:50,760 --> 01:19:52,827 when you say stuff like that? 2153 01:19:53,729 --> 01:19:55,329 You're not. 2154 01:19:57,065 --> 01:19:59,433 [upbeat music ♪] 2155 01:19:59,435 --> 01:20:02,336 ♪ ♪ 2156 01:20:04,506 --> 01:20:06,407 [audience reacts with disgust] 2157 01:20:17,853 --> 01:20:21,022 You can tell they make love really passionately. 2158 01:20:21,024 --> 01:20:23,224 Mmm, mmm. 2159 01:20:27,629 --> 01:20:28,830 That's enough. 2160 01:20:28,832 --> 01:20:30,698 You're married, we get it. 2161 01:20:33,268 --> 01:20:34,502 There we go. 2162 01:20:34,504 --> 01:20:35,670 What'd you expect? 2163 01:20:35,672 --> 01:20:36,938 I've seen enough. 2164 01:20:36,940 --> 01:20:38,539 I'm never gonna get used to that. 2165 01:20:38,541 --> 01:20:39,674 Tell me about it. 2166 01:20:39,676 --> 01:20:41,509 Oh, hey. - Hi. 2167 01:20:41,511 --> 01:20:43,477 I- I- I'm Kurt. - Paige. 2168 01:20:43,479 --> 01:20:45,680 Oh, are- are you- - I'm Mel's roommate. 2169 01:20:45,682 --> 01:20:47,114 Oh, hi. 2170 01:20:49,551 --> 01:20:51,953 Sorry, I'm a little nervous. I'm on solo duty. 2171 01:20:51,955 --> 01:20:54,055 Oh, same here, I know what you mean. 2172 01:20:54,057 --> 01:20:55,723 [Barry] Hey, JT, over here! 2173 01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:57,124 Come on, Dad! 2174 01:20:57,126 --> 01:20:58,893 We, ooh- uh, 2175 01:20:59,494 --> 01:21:00,962 Call me. We'll get coffee. 2176 01:21:00,964 --> 01:21:01,896 But weekdays only. 2177 01:21:01,898 --> 01:21:04,131 Weekends are guy time. 2178 01:21:04,133 --> 01:21:05,399 I really can't wait for, like, 2179 01:21:05,401 --> 01:21:07,201 all these people to get out of my house. 2180 01:21:07,203 --> 01:21:08,736 Yeah, it's a lot of people. 2181 01:21:08,738 --> 01:21:10,304 I think someone's gonna steal something. 2182 01:21:10,306 --> 01:21:12,740 Yeah, I saw a couple people eyeing some things. 2183 01:21:12,742 --> 01:21:13,741 I saw you talking to Paige. 2184 01:21:13,743 --> 01:21:15,810 Um, yeah, she's nice. 2185 01:21:15,812 --> 01:21:17,812 It might take some getting used to but... 2186 01:21:17,814 --> 01:21:19,814 Hey, JT. - What up, bitches? 2187 01:21:19,816 --> 01:21:21,816 Oh, yo. - I mean, hey guys. 2188 01:21:21,818 --> 01:21:23,150 I'm still trying to un-teach him 2189 01:21:23,152 --> 01:21:24,819 some of the things that Barry taught him. 2190 01:21:24,821 --> 01:21:26,921 Uncle Desmond, how'd your science project go? 2191 01:21:26,923 --> 01:21:28,322 What science project? 2192 01:21:28,324 --> 01:21:29,891 The one that you needed my pee for. 2193 01:21:29,893 --> 01:21:32,360 Oh, right, um... 2194 01:21:32,362 --> 01:21:33,828 I aced it, man. 2195 01:21:33,830 --> 01:21:34,929 Yeah. 2196 01:21:34,931 --> 01:21:36,731 That is immoral and illegal. 2197 01:21:36,733 --> 01:21:40,735 What do we say, buddy? - Pals forever. 2198 01:21:40,737 --> 01:21:42,837 Hope you guys don't mind. We kind of adopted it. 2199 01:21:42,839 --> 01:21:44,839 It's plagiarism. Technically. 2200 01:21:44,841 --> 01:21:46,641 Shoulda checked with us before-- [moaning] 2201 01:21:48,844 --> 01:21:50,778 You realize we're gonna have to put up with both of 'em 2202 01:21:50,780 --> 01:21:52,213 for the rest of our lives, right? 2203 01:21:52,215 --> 01:21:54,582 I'd say that's the least of our worries. 2204 01:21:54,584 --> 01:21:55,917 What could be worse? 2205 01:21:55,919 --> 01:21:57,418 A little Barry. 2206 01:21:57,420 --> 01:21:58,419 Oh. 2207 01:21:58,421 --> 01:22:02,123 ♪ ♪ 2208 01:22:25,814 --> 01:22:26,981 [funky music ♪] 2209 01:22:26,983 --> 01:22:28,883 [Desmond] Everyone's got one. 2210 01:22:28,885 --> 01:22:30,952 The inappropriate friend. 2211 01:22:30,954 --> 01:22:33,654 Good. [gags] 2212 01:22:33,656 --> 01:22:34,622 Aw, that's terrible. I don't want that at all. 2213 01:22:34,624 --> 01:22:36,791 [Desmond] The one with no filter. 2214 01:22:36,793 --> 01:22:38,225 Whoo, old man. 2215 01:22:38,227 --> 01:22:40,394 [Desmond] The one you just can't take anywhere. 2216 01:22:40,396 --> 01:22:43,631 Hi. You didn't see me but I had a great like Bionic Man thing going. 2217 01:22:43,633 --> 01:22:45,066 [laughs] Fucking good! 2218 01:22:45,667 --> 01:22:47,835 Who the hell is that? 2219 01:22:47,837 --> 01:22:49,003 His name is Sammy. 2220 01:22:49,005 --> 01:22:50,404 He's a counselor at my camp. 2221 01:22:50,406 --> 01:22:51,839 Avoid him at all costs, all right? 2222 01:22:51,841 --> 01:22:54,475 He's the kinda guy that just constantly says all the wrong things, 2223 01:22:54,477 --> 01:22:56,811 a bull in a china shop, totally embarrassing to be around. 2224 01:22:56,813 --> 01:22:58,079 What are you gonna do, though? 2225 01:22:58,081 --> 01:22:59,280 There's one in every group. 2226 01:22:59,282 --> 01:23:00,982 You got that right. - Hey, man! 2227 01:23:00,984 --> 01:23:01,983 Oh my God, he's coming over here. 2228 01:23:01,985 --> 01:23:02,917 He's all yours. - Barry. 2229 01:23:02,919 --> 01:23:04,452 You guys must be Barry's friends! 2230 01:23:04,454 --> 01:23:07,188 Oh my God. That's Barry's Barry. 2231 01:23:08,490 --> 01:23:11,926 ♪ Any friend of Barry is a friend of mine ♪ 2232 01:23:11,928 --> 01:23:14,462 ♪ Any friend of Barry is a friend of mine ♪ 2233 01:23:14,464 --> 01:23:15,997 Bring it in. Bring it in. 2234 01:23:15,999 --> 01:23:18,432 [rock music ♪] 2235 01:23:18,434 --> 01:23:21,268 ♪ ♪ 2236 01:23:22,305 --> 01:23:28,535 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org