1
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Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM

2
00:01:03,005 --> 00:01:07,705
A couple of words of advice for all
you hopefuls out there in unsigned bands.

3
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Fuck off.

4
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Seriously, your parents are right.

5
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You may as well spend
your guitar-string money on lottery tickets.

6
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Your chances will be much the same.

7
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You see, there's one thing you have
to understand about the music industry.

8
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We have no obligation to make art.

9
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We have no obligation
to make political statements.

10
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We have no obligation to make good records.

11
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We have an obligation to make money.

12
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I mean, do these look like the shoes of someone
who gives a fuck Velvet Underground?

13
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Now, in order to make money,
we may sometimes have to make art.

14
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We may sometimes have
to make political statements.

15
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Sometimes we may even have
to make good records.

16
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Our record company receives half
a million demos a year.

17
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We sign just ten of them.

18
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And who makes these choices?

19
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Who is responsible
for dividing the wheat from the chaff

20
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and providing the soundtrack
to your short life on this planet?

21
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Us, the elite, the chosen few,
the best of the best.

22
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The A&R men.

23
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Roger, why do you have a copy
of the fucking Menswear album?

24
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I looked into signing them a couple of years ago.

25
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There's some good tunes on that.

26
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It's four o'clock in the morning.

27
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My colleague Roger and
I are brainstorming producer ideas.

28
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How about Mike Hedges?

29
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No. I find some of his mixes a bit middly.

30
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- Middly?
- You know, too much...

31
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Not enough top or, you know, bottom end.

32
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What about the guy who produced
London Calling? What's his name?

33
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- Guy Stevens?
- Yeah.

34
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He'd be great.

35
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There is a problem, however.

36
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What? Is he a wanker?

37
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I don't know. He died in 1981.

38
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What's happening with the Rage album?

39
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Fuck knows.

40
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It's all gone Colonel Kurtz.

41
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The crazy bastard's up river, beyond the law.

42
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Been in a residential studio for six months
now at a thousand quid a day

43
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and David hasn't heard a fucking note yet.

44
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- David worried?
- He wants to be.

45
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What's he done this past year?
Signed a proper load of fucking turkeys.

46
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This new Rage album wants
to make ABBA's Greatest Hits

47
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sound like Sonic fucking Youth
or he's finished.

48
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Fucking nasty.

49
00:03:33,122 --> 00:03:34,818
If he goes, they might offer you his job.

50
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What, Head of A&R?

51
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They might offer it to you.

52
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No. No, you've got...

53
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...you know, seniority.

54
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Right, I'll get the drinks in.

55
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Last year, 1996,

56
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the turnover of the British music industry
passed the billion-pound mark for the first time.

57
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Aceed!

58
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Boom times.

59
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But there's always competition.

60
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Imagine you're standing on wafer-thin ice.

61
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Beneath your feet you can see sharks circling,

62
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terrible sharks
with hypodermic syringes for teeth.

63
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These are your colleagues, your friends.

64
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Roger and I both have to live
with an uncomfortable statistic:

65
00:04:20,502 --> 00:04:23,871
at some point in the coming year,
one of us will probably be fired.

66
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I have no intention of it being me.

67
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I'm a bear!

68
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I'm a dancing bear!

69
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Hey, bear, bear. Bear, eat CDs!

70
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What you got, bear?
What you got? Seal?

71
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Bear eat Seal. Yeah.

72
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Bear. Bear.

73
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Bear tired. Bear tired. Oh, bear.

74
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So here's what I do.

75
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I listen to music, bands, singers, songwriters,

76
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and decide which ones have
a good chance of commercial success.

77
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I then arrange for them
to be recorded in a sympathetic manner

78
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and then we, the record company,
sell them to you, the general public.

79
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That's A&R, artiste and repertoire.

80
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Simple, eh?

81
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Get fucked.

82
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You wouldn't last ten minutes.

83
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'In every age, men are born who,
in their hearts,

84
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in the black of their blood, are warriors,

85
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but for most of us,
there are no longer wars to fight.'

86
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Morning.

87
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'What must they do, these men?'

88
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- Steven Stelfox's office.
- Steven there?

89
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- No, I'm afraid he's not.
- OK, I'll call back later.

90
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OK. Bye.

91
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Did you listen to that EP I gave you?

92
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Swedish band, The Lazies?

93
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- I think they're really...
- Christ, I hate bands.

94
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- Unfortunate career choice.
- Anyhow, it's on my pile.

95
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Rebecca...

96
00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,819
- You look nice today.
- Thank you, Steven.

97
00:08:07,629 --> 00:08:08,722
- Darren's here.
- Hey, boss.

98
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Check this out.

99
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Jeez.

100
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That's limited edition.

101
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Well, I hope they limited it
to their immediate fucking family.

102
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Christ.

103
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Look at this.

104
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18-year-old sensation Ellie Crush
nominated for three Brits.

105
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Crush's A&R Manager, Tony Parker Hall,

106
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says, 'We've spent two years developing Ellie.'

107
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'The nominations reflect her talent and
all the hard work everyone at the label has put in.'

108
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Christ.

109
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The bastard's magnanimous no less.

110
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There's a lot of interest in that band.

111
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Do me a favour.

112
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Fucking Oasis rock up,

113
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a couple of manc car thieves
with a Beatles songbook,

114
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and now we all have to go finding an indie band?

115
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Look, you haven't been here long,
Darren, so remember this.

116
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Real people don't care about indie bands.

117
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Real people put stone cladding and new
PVC double glazing on their council houses.

118
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They buy four albums a year and
they want to hear all the fucking words,

119
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and there are billions of the cunts.

120
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So, come on, you're the scout.
Scout some proper hits.

121
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Yeah.

122
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- They're rough, but they could develop.
- Yeah, like a fucking tumour.

123
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Darren, what is the meaning of life?

124
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Sign good bands.

125
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Make records you're proud of.

126
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Fuck me.

127
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Morning.

128
00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:50,829
Fucking great night, eh?

129
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State of me when I woke up. Jesus.

130
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I'll see you in business affairs.

131
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Oi, come on.

132
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Meetings.

133
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Nothing important ever
got decided in a meeting.

134
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What they are very good for, however,

135
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is stitching up,
humiliating and belittling people.

136
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Fat boy here you already know.

137
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:21,362
We also have Derek Sommers
Managing Director.

138
00:10:21,363 --> 00:10:25,266
Given that our MD's idea of fun is
paying a couple of Bethnal Green rent boys

139
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,867
to kick the shit out of him,

140
00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:31,839
it's no surprise that sadism and aggression
are values our company encourages and rewards.

141
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James Trellick, Head of Legal and
Business Affairs Ruthless, amoral, top bloke.

142
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David Schneider, Head of A&R.

143
00:10:39,081 --> 00:10:40,848
Technically my boss, for now.

144
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,249
Ross, Head of Marketing.

145
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:46,020
Would double-end his own mother
with Satan to put a record in the top 10.

146
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:51,025
Rob Hastings, Indie type,
the guy who put the um and ah in A&R.

147
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,260
Nikki, Head of International.

148
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:57,632
I have no sexual interest in Nikki,
so, in a way, she doesn't exist.

149
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And taking minutes, Katy, Trellick's PA.

150
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Doable.

151
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,069
Hey, how come
I didn't get my Music Week yet?

152
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Because you don't work in the music industry.

153
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Okey-dokey, boys and girls
Eyes down for a full house.

154
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,848
You all have a copy of
the agenda in front of you.

155
00:11:13,849 --> 00:11:16,080
David, where are we with the Rage album?

156
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:20,121
Well, yeah, he's mixing,
so we're not far away now.

157
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Tour's booked.

158
00:11:21,123 --> 00:11:24,258
Steven and I are gonna meet up with him
in Cannes next week to go over the budget.

159
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:26,694
Got a lot of territories asking for a release date.

160
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How's the record sounding, David?

161
00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:33,333
Well, you know what he's like, Derek,
you know, plays his cards close to his chest.

162
00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:36,700
- Do we have a single?
- Not yet, no.

163
00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:40,339
You know, as you know, it's... sometimes
you can't rush the creative process, you know.

164
00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:42,743
David, as head of this label,

165
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:46,013
I don't think I'm being unreasonable
in asking to hear some music

166
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from an act in which we have
a considerable financial investment.

167
00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:53,020
We're currently?
486,000 in the hole on this record.

168
00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:56,023
It's two years since the debut album
and quite frankly...

169
00:11:56,024 --> 00:11:58,025
Well, hang on, Derek.
It's not like nothing's been happening.

170
00:11:58,026 --> 00:12:00,494
We're doing some stuff to maintain awareness.

171
00:12:00,495 --> 00:12:02,691
Those new T-shirts David
had made look fantastic.

172
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,234
T-shirts?

173
00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:08,561
What fucking T-shirts?

174
00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:11,372
Oh, yeah, I mean, well, you know...

175
00:12:11,373 --> 00:12:13,974
You're making T-shirts for an artist
who doesn't have an album out

176
00:12:13,975 --> 00:12:15,609
and is half a million quid unrecouped?

177
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- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Yeah, but, Derek, I just thought...

178
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I don't give a fuck what you thought!

179
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We're in the shit. We need some hits.

180
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If we don't have a single soon,
I'm pulling the fucking plug.

181
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:26,620
- Do you understand?
- Yeah, but I...

182
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:30,024
Do you fucking understand?

183
00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:33,127
- Yeah. Yes, Derek, yeah.
- OK.

184
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,323
Moving on.

185
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:35,555
Rob.

186
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,462
Sound Collective.

187
00:12:42,003 --> 00:12:43,027
For God's sake.

188
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:47,943
Well played.

189
00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,845
Derek seems even
more tightly wrapped than usual.

190
00:12:50,846 --> 00:12:53,481
We need some hits.
The release schedule's a wasteland.

191
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,916
Well, if Schneider got fired...

192
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:57,219
I'm just saying.

193
00:12:58,253 --> 00:13:02,953
Then either Derek goes out of house
for a new head of A&R or it's you.

194
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,458
Or it's laughing boy there.

195
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:08,729
- Waters?
- Pros: he's a couple of years older than you.

196
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:10,865
More experience making albums.

197
00:13:10,866 --> 00:13:13,961
The rank and file think he's a nice bloke.

198
00:13:14,736 --> 00:13:19,740
Cons: he's a lazy, brain-dead cocaine
addict with the attention span of a fucking gnat

199
00:13:19,741 --> 00:13:21,976
who hasn't had a hit record in donkey's.

200
00:13:21,977 --> 00:13:23,978
- So he could get the job.
- Correctos.

201
00:13:23,979 --> 00:13:26,471
Signing a nice big hit record
wouldn't hurt your cause.

202
00:13:26,982 --> 00:13:28,575
Thanks for that blinding insight, James.

203
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,578
What is the meaning of life, young Stelfox?

204
00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:36,948
To drive your enemies before you
and hear the lamentations of their women.

205
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,828
Good boy.

206
00:13:40,128 --> 00:13:41,096
See you in Cannes.

207
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,265
I tried to imagine Roger as my boss,

208
00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:46,000
Roger who tried to sign Menswear,

209
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,269
who thought Guy Stevens was living and well,

210
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:52,708
whose idea of a perfectly normal night out
involves waking up covered in someone else's piss,

211
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,376
but a crimson mist keeps closing in,

212
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,812
a skull charge of blood
keeps dimming my vision.

213
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,018
Midem.

214
00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:04,618
Back in the 1960s,

215
00:14:04,619 --> 00:14:08,489
a couple of Frog bum boys decided
to have a little music industry convention

216
00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:09,857
in the South of France.

217
00:14:09,858 --> 00:14:11,959
30 years later every January

218
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:18,098
10,000 A&R guys descend upon Cannesfor
a free-loading orgy of utter fucking nonsense.

219
00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:19,226
- Oi, oi!
- Danny.

220
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:21,969
Danny Rent, two-bob manager.

221
00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:23,871
- Bollocks!
- Andy Restbourne, Sony.

222
00:14:23,872 --> 00:14:25,067
Having it large, mate.

223
00:14:26,141 --> 00:14:28,235
Some cunt I did bugle with once.

224
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,075
Over here, son. Over here.

225
00:14:30,378 --> 00:14:31,471
Incoming!

226
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,081
Anthony Parker Hall.

227
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,150
Three Brit nominations for that slag?

228
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:37,483
You having a fucking laugh?

229
00:14:38,987 --> 00:14:39,716
Who's this?

230
00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:43,114
This is Darren, new scout.

231
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:44,456
Good luck, mate.

232
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:46,627
What you got going on over here, then?

233
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:48,824
Meeting with the Germans tonight
at the Martinez.

234
00:14:49,965 --> 00:14:51,797
- Probably see you out, yeah?
- Yeah, later.

235
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:54,025
Clown.

236
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:03,337
I was looking for some action

237
00:15:29,371 --> 00:15:30,566
Hey, Rudi.

238
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:34,800
Steven!

239
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,745
How's it going, man?

240
00:15:37,746 --> 00:15:40,848
- When'd you get in?
- Just this morning, man.

241
00:15:40,849 --> 00:15:43,683
I had Gunther fly ahead
to take care of stuff, you know.

242
00:15:44,753 --> 00:15:47,621
You know me, time is money, bro.
Hardcore!

243
00:15:47,622 --> 00:15:49,591
- Yeah.
- Hardcore!

244
00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:52,585
- Hey, Steven. How are you?
- I'm very good.

245
00:15:53,094 --> 00:15:54,495
This is Darren, new scout.

246
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,263
- What's up, Darren? How you doing?
- Yeah, good.

247
00:15:56,264 --> 00:15:57,823
Listen, do you want me to make you happy?

248
00:15:58,266 --> 00:15:59,366
- Should I make you happy?
- Very.

249
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,136
- I'm gonna make you happy right now.
- Thank you, Rudi. Crack on.

250
00:16:02,137 --> 00:16:04,972
Listen to this shit, man.
Listen to that shit, man.

251
00:16:04,973 --> 00:16:05,607
Come on, hit it.

252
00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:08,042
Hold on, hold on. Bitches, come here.

253
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,203
Listen. Come here.

254
00:16:11,112 --> 00:16:11,980
- Want some?
- Yeah, I'll have a glass.

255
00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:13,073
Shut the fuck up!

256
00:16:13,748 --> 00:16:15,114
One, two, three, four. Hit it.

257
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:22,945
Yeah, baby!

258
00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:26,579
Who told you? Who told you?

259
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,723
- Who told you, Steven?
- Yeah.

260
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:32,493
I told you, man. I told you!

261
00:17:32,494 --> 00:17:35,963
Yes, yes, Rudi. It's...

262
00:17:35,964 --> 00:17:38,999
Biggest fucking hit we've had
so far in Germany, man. Biggest hit.

263
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000
- Really?
- Yeah.

264
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:42,870
- Who's the singer?
- Fuck the singer.

265
00:17:42,871 --> 00:17:44,138
What are you talking about, the singer?

266
00:17:44,139 --> 00:17:46,108
Who cares about the fucking singer?

267
00:17:47,142 --> 00:17:49,475
It's just a girl. She was in the studio.

268
00:17:49,978 --> 00:17:51,745
She's like... What do you call a...

269
00:17:51,746 --> 00:17:53,476
it's a... A moose.

270
00:17:53,982 --> 00:17:56,110
- Moose.
- Fucking moose!

271
00:17:57,385 --> 00:17:59,354
But don't worry.
We'll find someone to front it.

272
00:18:00,989 --> 00:18:02,218
It's catchy, Rudi, it's just...

273
00:18:02,724 --> 00:18:05,558
- It's the lyrics, right?
- Yeah, exactly, Rudi.

274
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:09,863
Why are you so British, so square, man?
What's wrong?

275
00:18:09,864 --> 00:18:12,966
We did a radio edit of the whole thing...

276
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,459
...and we changed it and the chorus now is like..

277
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,469
What does she say? She says like...

278
00:18:19,074 --> 00:18:20,940
<i>Why don't you slap me on the ass?</i>

279
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:24,209
<i>Why don't you slap me on the ass?</i>

280
00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:27,014
- And it works, man.
- That's much better.

281
00:18:27,015 --> 00:18:29,712
Listen, what do you think
I'm offering it to you.

282
00:18:30,852 --> 00:18:32,684
- First hand for the UK.
- Yeah.

283
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,623
And all I need is 30,000 in advance

284
00:18:36,624 --> 00:18:37,991
- and...
- 15.

285
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,085
15 points.

286
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:47,735
So what do you reckon?

287
00:18:47,736 --> 00:18:48,869
What do I reckon?

288
00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,371
I reckon that tune is the biggest
insult to humanity

289
00:18:51,372 --> 00:18:54,842
since a room full of Nazis chuckled
over the blueprints for Auschwitz.

290
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,143
It's utter garbage.

291
00:18:56,144 --> 00:19:00,981
But this is exactly what 99% of
the great British public enjoy,

292
00:19:00,982 --> 00:19:01,982
the fucking animals.

293
00:19:01,983 --> 00:19:05,119
Well, that crazed paedo has as good a track
record as anyone for this kind of crap,

294
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,254
and stranger things have happened, mate.

295
00:19:07,255 --> 00:19:08,348
Is that a yes, then?

296
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:11,391
What, a 30K advance,
the same again for a video,

297
00:19:11,392 --> 00:19:14,361
I'd have to do some remixes,
artwork, advertising.

298
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:18,094
I mean, it'll cost us something like a hundred
grand to try and have a hit with that piece of shit.

299
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,135
This is what's involved
every time you say yes, Darren.

300
00:19:21,136 --> 00:19:23,833
Signing records can literally cost
you your fucking job.

301
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,208
So we say no?

302
00:19:30,245 --> 00:19:31,804
Maybe.

303
00:19:45,093 --> 00:19:45,960
Christ, look, Virgin.

304
00:19:45,961 --> 00:19:48,128
88.9% share of the singles market.

305
00:19:48,129 --> 00:19:49,688
Fucking Spice Girls.

306
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:07,115
Rage.

307
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:11,985
How you doing? Good to see you.

308
00:20:11,986 --> 00:20:13,020
- Fisher.
- How you doing? You all right?

309
00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:14,114
- Hi.
- Hi.

310
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:15,821
So, Cannes, eh?

311
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,093
Great stuff.

312
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,127
- Rage, how's tricks?
- Yeah, boys.

313
00:20:20,128 --> 00:20:21,687
We ain't gonna do this tour.

314
00:20:23,865 --> 00:20:26,600
- What? But you...
- We're finishing the record.

315
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,799
I ain't dismantling the studio
to start some fucking rehearsals.

316
00:20:30,371 --> 00:20:31,805
Well, let's hire the stuff for the tour.

317
00:20:32,507 --> 00:20:36,467
Look, do you believe in this guy long term?

318
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,048
Yes.

319
00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:43,383
Of course.

320
00:20:43,384 --> 00:20:45,353
Then this ain't the only tour
we're gonna do, then, is it?

321
00:20:46,254 --> 00:20:47,347
It's an investment.

322
00:20:51,259 --> 00:20:52,090
How much?

323
00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:54,261
- 60 grand.
- Jesus.

324
00:20:54,262 --> 00:20:56,263
The tour support budget's high enough as it is.

325
00:20:56,264 --> 00:20:57,631
I don't think we can justify that sort of...

326
00:20:57,632 --> 00:21:00,124
Well, I guess we're pulling out of the tour, then.

327
00:21:03,271 --> 00:21:04,830
- 30 grand.
- 50.

328
00:21:07,008 --> 00:21:08,943
40, recuperable.

329
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:11,571
Fair enough.

330
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:19,113
This pair of sex offenders
have just raped us for 40 grand.

331
00:21:19,387 --> 00:21:23,724
At some point we'll see a Fantasy Island invoice
with bogus receipts stapled to it

332
00:21:23,725 --> 00:21:26,217
for money they never spent
on gear they do not own.

333
00:21:27,028 --> 00:21:28,963
So, how's the record sounding?

334
00:21:29,264 --> 00:21:31,233
Schneider, mate,
it's gonna blow your tits off.

335
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:35,069
We'll have a playback soon.
It's fucking out there, man.

336
00:21:36,104 --> 00:21:38,699
Experimental as fuck.

337
00:21:44,112 --> 00:21:45,080
Experimental?

338
00:21:55,089 --> 00:21:57,058
Experimental?

339
00:21:59,627 --> 00:22:01,118
I think it's a smart way to go.

340
00:22:03,097 --> 00:22:07,134
Listen, David, we did well with the debut,
over 100,000.

341
00:22:07,135 --> 00:22:09,136
The obvious move will be to start chasing a hit,

342
00:22:09,137 --> 00:22:12,973
doing a vocal collaboration with
fucking Jarvis Cocker or whoever,

343
00:22:12,974 --> 00:22:16,743
but it could alienate his fan base,
all the drum and bass kids.

344
00:22:16,744 --> 00:22:20,147
If you make a really uncompromising
original record,

345
00:22:20,148 --> 00:22:24,950
you'll keep all those people,
get great press and build it organically.

346
00:22:34,128 --> 00:22:36,688
Fuck me. Experimental, no less?

347
00:22:37,865 --> 00:22:39,060
Schneider's face.

348
00:22:39,133 --> 00:22:41,268
And Rage was gakked off his fucking tits.

349
00:22:41,269 --> 00:22:44,104
I take it you counselled against
the experimental approach?

350
00:22:44,105 --> 00:22:45,698
- Oh, yeah, of course.
- Oi, oi!

351
00:22:47,108 --> 00:22:48,742
- Let's rock.
- Bloke says they're strong.

352
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,939
Yeah, so maybe we should only do half.

353
00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:54,110
- Bollocks.
- Fuck off.

354
00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:06,960
This is the sharp end of the record industry.

355
00:23:06,961 --> 00:23:09,129
Our jobs involve making fast decisions

356
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:12,100
with hundreds of thousands
even millions of pounds at stake.

357
00:23:12,734 --> 00:23:15,969
These decisions are made
under the influence of drugs,

358
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:18,940
alcohol, peer pressure and fear.

359
00:23:19,741 --> 00:23:21,107
The fear is constant because,

360
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,100
and you must understand this,

361
00:23:23,978 --> 00:23:26,345
none of us have a fucking clue
what we're doing.

362
00:23:44,499 --> 00:23:45,330
Darren!

363
00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:49,561
Yeah! Fucking massive!

364
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:52,202
We verbally agreed the deal, OK?

365
00:23:53,508 --> 00:23:54,703
Hey! OK?

366
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:57,809
Oh, fuck.

367
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,255
Yeah, this is Rudi. Leave a message.

368
00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:09,623
Rudi, Rudi, it's Steven.

369
00:24:09,624 --> 00:24:11,992
Look, we definitely want the record.

370
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:13,586
Please call me back, OK?

371
00:24:25,973 --> 00:24:28,842
- Hello?
- Steven! Hey, it's Rudi.

372
00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:30,038
Rudi, Rudi.

373
00:24:30,745 --> 00:24:33,840
Listen, I definitely want the record.

374
00:24:34,615 --> 00:24:36,082
You're a little late now, man..

375
00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:38,052
Already did the deal with Tony Parker Hall.

376
00:24:38,853 --> 00:24:43,086
You fucking Nazi... Fuck!

377
00:24:43,257 --> 00:24:45,351
Hello? Hello?

378
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,361
Have you actually signed the contract yet?

379
00:24:48,362 --> 00:24:50,363
Well, I haven't signed the contract yet,

380
00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:53,133
but we sort of have
like a verbal agreement, you know?

381
00:24:53,134 --> 00:24:55,969
OK, Rudi. How much?

382
00:24:55,970 --> 00:24:58,738
I mean, come on.
You know I'm a man of my word, right?

383
00:24:58,739 --> 00:24:59,570
How much?

384
00:25:01,108 --> 00:25:02,242
- Hundred?
- Sixty.

385
00:25:02,243 --> 00:25:04,845
- Hundred.
- No, that's too much.

386
00:25:04,846 --> 00:25:05,846
60,000.

387
00:25:05,847 --> 00:25:07,042
All right, deal.

388
00:25:07,615 --> 00:25:08,446
Trellick will call you.

389
00:25:15,857 --> 00:25:17,587
We're now in scary territory.

390
00:25:17,859 --> 00:25:21,261
60 grand for a one-off single means
we'll have to have a proper hit.

391
00:25:21,262 --> 00:25:23,096
Number 18's no use to anyone.

392
00:25:23,097 --> 00:25:27,091
This piece of shit will have to be top five minimum
for me to walk away with any kind of dignity.

393
00:25:28,002 --> 00:25:29,503
As some of you will have heard,

394
00:25:29,504 --> 00:25:32,105
Steven came back from Midem last week

395
00:25:32,106 --> 00:25:35,099
where he signed the hottest dance
record of the convention.

396
00:25:37,845 --> 00:25:41,248
It's blowing up in Europe and
I'm sure we're gonna have a huge hit with it here.

397
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:42,849
It's very risque, but...

398
00:25:42,850 --> 00:25:45,619
Yeah, I've done a new edit with alternative lyrics.

399
00:25:45,620 --> 00:25:48,088
Right, now, we're gonna
take the edit straight to radio,

400
00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:50,581
moving the original mix out to all the club DJs...

401
00:25:51,492 --> 00:25:53,126
Have we got some video treatments in?

402
00:25:53,127 --> 00:25:56,263
Yeah, well, with the budget being quite low...

403
00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:57,497
Derek loves the record.

404
00:25:57,498 --> 00:25:59,599
The marketing department love the record.

405
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,968
The radio department love the record.

406
00:26:01,969 --> 00:26:04,939
I have tooled back from Cannes
bearing the cure for cancer.

407
00:26:06,374 --> 00:26:09,936
I see this one... as the first single.

408
00:26:10,978 --> 00:26:11,946
Just go with it...

409
00:26:13,848 --> 00:26:15,680
and let it take you on a journey.

410
00:27:13,107 --> 00:27:16,376
In a way,
you've almost got to respect the mad bastard.

411
00:27:16,377 --> 00:27:21,213
He's taken half a million quid of our money
to fund his own cocaine-induced mind orchestra.

412
00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:25,151
On a more positive note,
I must get the number of Rage's dealer,

413
00:27:25,152 --> 00:27:28,953
because the gear the cunt is getting
is clearly fucking phenomenal.

414
00:27:30,725 --> 00:27:31,693
It's called...

415
00:27:34,095 --> 00:27:35,085
Birth.

416
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,435
Decided to pursue fresh opportunities...

417
00:27:42,003 --> 00:27:43,938
Apparently the cretin begged for his life.

418
00:27:44,972 --> 00:27:46,565
You know what they say about Schadenfreude.

419
00:27:47,241 --> 00:27:48,241
Is that the trip-hop mob?

420
00:27:48,242 --> 00:27:50,040
Signed to Deconstruction last year?

421
00:27:50,745 --> 00:27:53,237
- Did you see that review I left out?
- What review?

422
00:27:54,148 --> 00:27:56,117
Why do I bother? Here.

423
00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:59,820
That band I was telling you about, The Lazies.

424
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:02,255
Great review of their EP in the NME.

425
00:28:02,256 --> 00:28:03,087
Great.

426
00:28:07,495 --> 00:28:08,728
- Steven?
- Hi, Milly.

427
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,864
- Can you send him up, please?
- Yeah, I will do.

428
00:28:10,865 --> 00:28:12,231
- Thanks.
- Thanks.

429
00:28:12,967 --> 00:28:14,458
Derek wants to see you.

430
00:28:16,103 --> 00:28:17,971
Cometh the hour, cometh the man?

431
00:28:17,972 --> 00:28:19,702
In the land of the blind, Rebecca...

432
00:28:21,509 --> 00:28:23,843
About the Brits, can you speak
to those clowns at the cab company?

433
00:28:23,844 --> 00:28:26,012
Make sure they send someone
who's actually set foot in London before.

434
00:28:26,013 --> 00:28:28,148
Traffic will be a nightmare.
You'll be quicker on the tube.

435
00:28:28,149 --> 00:28:30,709
- The fucking what?
- The tube, Steven.

436
00:28:31,352 --> 00:28:31,986
How amusing.

437
00:28:31,987 --> 00:28:36,956
<i>The stage is now set for this year's Brit Awards,</i>
<i>with smash sensation Ellie Crush tipped...</i>

438
00:28:36,957 --> 00:28:38,789
<i>...to pick up a handful of awards.</i>

439
00:28:38,859 --> 00:28:42,955
Thought you might like to hear from the
plugging team how your dance hit is shaping up.

440
00:28:45,499 --> 00:28:47,092
Right, well, Radio 1 don't think it's for them.

441
00:28:48,502 --> 00:28:50,970
Maybe if it was bigger at club,
we'd have more ammunition.

442
00:28:50,971 --> 00:28:53,338
Derek, mate,
we've done a massive mail out, but...

443
00:28:54,108 --> 00:28:58,239
It just seems to be the kind of track that needs
a bit more radio before the club DJs pick up on it.

444
00:29:00,081 --> 00:29:00,912
Fuck.

445
00:29:06,253 --> 00:29:08,688
There's a good review in Mixmag.

446
00:29:10,024 --> 00:29:15,827
Are you telling me we've paid a hundred grand
to get a review in fucking Mixmag?

447
00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:22,562
So, where do we take
this cunt of a record from here?

448
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,208
It's got me in the eye.

449
00:29:28,242 --> 00:29:29,743
Derek hates the record.

450
00:29:29,744 --> 00:29:32,145
The marketing department hate the record.

451
00:29:32,146 --> 00:29:34,981
The radio department hate the record.

452
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:39,252
In a bizarre alchemic process perhaps
unique to the entertainment industry,

453
00:29:39,253 --> 00:29:41,387
the cancer cure I brought back from Cannes

454
00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:44,491
has mysteriously morphed into
something closer to the cause of AIDS.

455
00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:45,824
Girl power!

456
00:29:47,128 --> 00:29:50,326
- Suck my root.
- Why's that fat cunt so happy?

457
00:29:51,499 --> 00:29:53,331
Check out Ellie fucking Crush, man.

458
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:57,003
- Ellie!
- Tony!

459
00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:59,139
Three Brits and, surprise, surprise,

460
00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:01,608
Derek's right up
Parker Hall's night fighter.

461
00:30:01,609 --> 00:30:04,377
Success has a thousand fathers, Steven.

462
00:30:04,378 --> 00:30:06,574
Failure is an orphan.

463
00:30:08,849 --> 00:30:09,578
Excuse me, darling.

464
00:30:10,484 --> 00:30:12,986
- Oi, oi, Stelfox.
- Danny.

465
00:30:12,987 --> 00:30:14,353
How you doing? Some birds in here!

466
00:30:15,389 --> 00:30:17,724
What happened with that
Suck My Dick thing you signed at Midem?

467
00:30:17,725 --> 00:30:20,627
We're doing some more mixes.
What you got going on?

468
00:30:20,628 --> 00:30:23,263
I wanna come see you, actually.
This girl band I'm managing...

469
00:30:23,264 --> 00:30:24,631
- You want a Rockschool?
- Yeah.

470
00:30:24,632 --> 00:30:26,966
Five double Jack and Coke, please, darling.

471
00:30:26,967 --> 00:30:30,103
- What are they called?
- The Songbirds. You get it?

472
00:30:30,104 --> 00:30:31,834
Fucking girl power and all that bollocks.

473
00:30:37,144 --> 00:30:39,079
- See Roger's celebrating.
- How's that?

474
00:30:39,613 --> 00:30:41,104
Well, I hear he's your new head of A&R.

475
00:30:42,383 --> 00:30:43,850
Where are you hearing that?

476
00:30:43,851 --> 00:30:46,019
Derek's PA let it slip to Ted
in my office earlier on.

477
00:30:46,020 --> 00:30:47,113
I think he's gonna get it.

478
00:30:48,389 --> 00:30:49,722
Thank you, darling.

479
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,991
Two, three...

480
00:30:51,992 --> 00:30:53,085
Keep the change, all right?

481
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,191
Stevie.

482
00:30:55,129 --> 00:30:56,863
Enjoy. I'll give you a bell about the band.

483
00:30:56,864 --> 00:30:58,230
- Yeah.
- Sorry, darling.

484
00:31:03,003 --> 00:31:07,106
Sometimes, as a mantra to calm myself
during moments of stress or anxiety,

485
00:31:07,107 --> 00:31:10,600
I find it soothing to repeat all
the different words I know for cocaine.

486
00:31:11,245 --> 00:31:14,147
Gak, chang, nose-up, bag, beak, charlie,

487
00:31:14,148 --> 00:31:16,149
krell, powder, chisel, bump,

488
00:31:16,150 --> 00:31:18,017
posh, bugle, sniff, skiwear...

489
00:31:18,018 --> 00:31:21,387
That's the problem with chasing
these one-off dance records, you know.

490
00:31:21,388 --> 00:31:23,084
The stakes are so high.

491
00:31:23,624 --> 00:31:25,354
I mean, sometimes you...

492
00:31:26,961 --> 00:31:32,098
You know, that's why I think
it'll be a good thing, David going, you know.

493
00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:35,501
It'll give us a chance
to have a proper A&R department

494
00:31:35,502 --> 00:31:38,104
where we sign some real artists with longevity,

495
00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:42,702
you know,
great British songwriters like, say...

496
00:31:44,845 --> 00:31:46,336
You know, say...

497
00:31:46,847 --> 00:31:48,481
- Paul Weller?
- Yeah.

498
00:31:48,482 --> 00:31:50,576
I mean,
he writes most of his own stuff, doesn't he?

499
00:31:54,388 --> 00:31:56,357
Yeah, yeah, I believe he does.

500
00:32:01,095 --> 00:32:02,927
Roger, why are you talking like this?

501
00:32:03,364 --> 00:32:06,459
Why are you banging on about
your vision for the department?

502
00:32:08,369 --> 00:32:11,806
- I don't know, man.
- Have they offered you David's job?

503
00:32:17,244 --> 00:32:19,804
Derek told me not to say anything.

504
00:32:21,615 --> 00:32:22,810
Trellick doesn't even know yet.

505
00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:26,853
It's no reflection on you, Steven.

506
00:32:26,854 --> 00:32:29,489
It's just it's not great timing for you,

507
00:32:29,490 --> 00:32:32,460
you know, after what happened
with Rudi's dance track and...

508
00:32:33,494 --> 00:32:36,863
You know, I don't want it to seem
like you're suddenly working for me.

509
00:32:36,864 --> 00:32:39,098
We're working together.

510
00:32:39,099 --> 00:32:42,001
Racket, bink, bump, bronson,

511
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,604
bolivian, toot, junior,

512
00:32:44,605 --> 00:32:46,606
chas, nonsense, bounce...

513
00:32:46,607 --> 00:32:49,242
Well, congratulations. Well done, mate.

514
00:32:49,243 --> 00:32:51,244
- Fucking result.
- Thanks.

515
00:32:51,245 --> 00:32:52,076
You got any more champagne?

516
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,208
It's in the fridge.

517
00:32:59,486 --> 00:33:02,989
Obviously I'd be lying if I said I hadn't
thought about running the department before.

518
00:33:02,990 --> 00:33:05,960
I mean, let's be honest,
David was all over the place.

519
00:33:06,260 --> 00:33:07,592
He was too old.

520
00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:10,630
He never got a sense of
what he really liked and didn't like.

521
00:33:10,631 --> 00:33:14,124
It was just about seeing whatever deals were
hot and then getting in on it at the last minute.

522
00:33:14,969 --> 00:33:16,102
It's like with Rage, remember,

523
00:33:16,103 --> 00:33:18,504
it was you that brought that in,
Steven, and now I'm in charge,

524
00:33:18,505 --> 00:33:21,607
I'm gonna make sure things like that
get properly recognised, you know.

525
00:33:21,608 --> 00:33:25,611
You should have had a point on that album
and in the future, I know we can,

526
00:33:25,612 --> 00:33:28,481
we definitely need to broaden the roster,
you know.

527
00:33:28,482 --> 00:33:30,678
We need to find a band like Supergrass...

528
00:33:30,751 --> 00:33:32,481
<i>Smack my bitch up</i>

529
00:34:00,014 --> 00:34:01,209
Fucking die!

530
00:34:06,387 --> 00:34:11,090
Of course Paul Weller writes his own songs,
you stupid fat bastard.

531
00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:15,222
Of the foremost singer/songwriters
of his generation!

532
00:34:15,629 --> 00:34:19,365
I mean, who gives a fuck about the mod cunt?

533
00:34:19,366 --> 00:34:25,931
But he's primarily known as
a singer fucking songwriter.

534
00:34:42,022 --> 00:34:43,820
Nice.

535
00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:51,064
Who would you say your influences are?

536
00:34:54,134 --> 00:34:56,736
I think he's asking what music you like.

537
00:34:56,737 --> 00:34:59,739
- Madonna and stuff.
- You don't even like Madonna.

538
00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:01,007
Your breath stinks.

539
00:35:01,008 --> 00:35:04,110
- I'm also a rap singer.
- Girls...

540
00:35:04,111 --> 00:35:05,841
- Really?
- Sorry, mate.

541
00:35:06,246 --> 00:35:07,077
Can we leave this till later?

542
00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:09,813
- You're giving me a fucking headache.
- Great.

543
00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:12,852
Well, Danny, let me get back to you, yeah?

544
00:35:12,853 --> 00:35:14,087
All right, be quick, though.

545
00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:16,122
- We're up at Virgin this afternoon.
- Cheers, Danny.

546
00:35:16,123 --> 00:35:17,819
Come on, girls. Let's go.

547
00:35:18,859 --> 00:35:21,090
- Nice meeting you
- Cheers. Thanks, girls.

548
00:35:32,139 --> 00:35:33,606
What d'you reckon to that lot, then?

549
00:35:33,607 --> 00:35:34,607
What do I reckon?

550
00:35:34,608 --> 00:35:38,377
I reckon they look like the worst kind
of sink-estate benefit-fraud trash imaginable,

551
00:35:38,378 --> 00:35:41,981
and to say that their music is dismal
would be an understatement on par

552
00:35:41,982 --> 00:35:45,251
with saying Fred West could probably
have been a better fucking dad.

553
00:35:45,252 --> 00:35:48,087
But I'd also like to do the lot of them.

554
00:35:48,088 --> 00:35:51,090
I reckon if we got some real songwriters,
decent producer,

555
00:35:51,091 --> 00:35:53,092
world-class stylist, an A-list photographer

556
00:35:53,093 --> 00:35:58,030
and some personal trainers to keep
them off the KFC and the alcopops...

557
00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,732
and if we spent a fortune on the right pluggers

558
00:35:59,733 --> 00:36:02,368
and press officers to convince people
they're the real deal,

559
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,737
rather than just a talentless bunch of slags

560
00:36:04,738 --> 00:36:07,373
who'd gobble a fucking donkey
to get to meet Mark Morrison,

561
00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:10,743
then, yeah, Rebecca,
we might just sell a few fucking records.

562
00:36:10,744 --> 00:36:12,979
Have you guys heard about Roger?

563
00:36:12,980 --> 00:36:15,848
Yeah, where is that clown?
He hasn't been in for three fucking days now.

564
00:36:15,849 --> 00:36:17,044
He's dead.

565
00:36:18,852 --> 00:36:19,581
What?

566
00:36:21,622 --> 00:36:24,956
Someone beat him to death... in his flat.

567
00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:26,721
Fuck.

568
00:36:28,629 --> 00:36:29,597
Holy shit.

569
00:36:32,266 --> 00:36:34,132
They even killed his little dog.

570
00:36:38,872 --> 00:36:41,706
Here. It's OK. It's OK.

571
00:36:47,147 --> 00:36:49,582
The police think he disturbed an intruder.

572
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:51,218
Poor Roger.

573
00:36:51,485 --> 00:36:52,578
Jesus.

574
00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:56,389
Right, so you'll be acting
head of A&R for the time being.

575
00:36:56,390 --> 00:36:58,991
The scouts and Rob
will report to you temporarily.

576
00:36:58,992 --> 00:37:01,260
Now, what are we gonna do
about this fucking Rage album?

577
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,355
Christ, let's just drop the talentless clown.

578
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,799
Look into what it'll cost us
to get out of the deal, James.

579
00:37:10,270 --> 00:37:13,069
The point is, Steven, we're dead in the water.

580
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,374
We need some activity.

581
00:37:15,375 --> 00:37:18,244
You're off to Austin for South
By Southwest this week, right?

582
00:37:18,245 --> 00:37:19,146
Yeah, me and Darren.

583
00:37:19,147 --> 00:37:20,580
We're gonna see a lot of new bands.

584
00:37:21,081 --> 00:37:23,209
OK. Good.

585
00:37:24,084 --> 00:37:25,074
Watch the expenses.

586
00:37:25,619 --> 00:37:26,348
Thanks, Derek.

587
00:37:27,087 --> 00:37:29,454
I mean, this wasn't how I wanted to get the job...

588
00:37:30,857 --> 00:37:32,223
You haven't got the job yet.

589
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,326
We'll see how it goes, OK?

590
00:37:39,266 --> 00:37:41,500
Christ. What's that bender's problem?

591
00:37:41,501 --> 00:37:44,003
I mean, apart from the fucking AIDS
coursing through his veins.

592
00:37:44,004 --> 00:37:47,373
- Same problem it always is.
- We need some hits.

593
00:37:47,374 --> 00:37:48,975
Correctos.

594
00:37:48,976 --> 00:37:53,079
Katy, can you dig out
Roger's contract for me, please?

595
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,208
And ring Simon Esplen
and cancel lunch tomorrow.

596
00:37:56,617 --> 00:37:57,346
Thank you.

597
00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:01,452
Steven.

598
00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:02,718
Steven.

599
00:38:03,090 --> 00:38:07,585
Look, come back from Texas with some
hot new bands and you'll be golden.

600
00:38:08,095 --> 00:38:09,586
Christ. I fucking hate bands.

601
00:38:10,030 --> 00:38:12,590
We all do, Steven. We all do.

602
00:38:14,268 --> 00:38:15,968
Acting head of A&R

603
00:38:15,969 --> 00:38:17,503
The fucking insult.

604
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:20,373
Still, it might be a good
opportunity to make a mark,

605
00:38:20,374 --> 00:38:22,842
to stamp my taste on the department.

606
00:38:22,843 --> 00:38:24,377
So I suppose you're wondering,

607
00:38:24,378 --> 00:38:25,611
what is that taste,

608
00:38:25,612 --> 00:38:27,613
what kind of music do I like?

609
00:38:27,614 --> 00:38:31,250
Asking a major label A&R man
this is like asking a stockbroker

610
00:38:31,251 --> 00:38:33,085
what his favourite commodity is,

611
00:38:33,086 --> 00:38:37,123
or saying to an FX trader,
'Hey, what's your favourite currency?'

612
00:38:37,124 --> 00:38:40,726
The answer is: whatever's profitable.

613
00:38:40,727 --> 00:38:42,261
Hip-hop, trance,

614
00:38:42,262 --> 00:38:45,364
Bulgarian heavy metal played
on sheep's bladders.

615
00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:50,326
If it's a hit, who fucking cares,
as long as it's profitable.

616
00:39:02,616 --> 00:39:04,949
Hey. We'll catch up later

617
00:39:35,382 --> 00:39:38,079
The truth is, signing bands is a lottery.

618
00:39:42,723 --> 00:39:48,321
But now and then, once in a while,
you do witness something new, fresh,

619
00:39:49,863 --> 00:39:51,229
like fucking snow.

620
00:39:51,498 --> 00:39:54,867
And then you've got your work cut out,
because then the race is on,

621
00:39:54,868 --> 00:39:58,270
because if you sign a proper band
with songs and longevity,

622
00:39:58,271 --> 00:40:00,106
with sales and credibility,

623
00:40:00,107 --> 00:40:03,077
then you get known as
that ultimate A&R accolade.

624
00:40:03,143 --> 00:40:06,846
You are a music guy, someone with good ears.

625
00:40:06,847 --> 00:40:09,578
You're a man of taste and discernment,
a man like...

626
00:40:10,851 --> 00:40:13,343
Anthony Parker fucking Hall.

627
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,116
All right, ladies and gentlemen...

628
00:40:23,363 --> 00:40:24,264
Why don't I know about this band?

629
00:40:24,265 --> 00:40:25,498
Everyone bloody loves them.

630
00:40:25,499 --> 00:40:26,999
I told you, The Lazies from Sweden.

631
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,095
Bollocks did you.
Fucking Rebecca's been banging on about them.

632
00:40:30,737 --> 00:40:32,271
That cunt Parker Hall's all over them.

633
00:40:32,272 --> 00:40:34,106
- Who's the manager?
- Some guy called Jimmy Sien.

634
00:40:34,107 --> 00:40:35,374
They're coming over to London next week.

635
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:37,105
Right, sort out a meeting, for fuck's sake.

636
00:40:38,979 --> 00:40:40,572
I think it's Stein, actually. Jimmy Stein.

637
00:40:41,148 --> 00:40:42,982
I don't fucking care.
Just sort out the meeting.

638
00:40:42,983 --> 00:40:43,951
Yeah.

639
00:40:49,022 --> 00:40:51,023
The Lazies. I don't believe this.

640
00:40:51,024 --> 00:40:52,124
Where is their CD?

641
00:40:52,125 --> 00:40:54,493
I mean, I've been going on about
that band for months and now suddenly...

642
00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:56,262
Yeah, but now they're fucking hot, Rebecca.

643
00:40:56,263 --> 00:40:58,061
That's life.

644
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,134
- Steven?
- Hi, Derek.

645
00:41:02,135 --> 00:41:03,831
- Is he there?
- Yes. Hang on.

646
00:41:06,139 --> 00:41:06,840
Derek.

647
00:41:06,841 --> 00:41:08,107
- That you?
- Yeah.

648
00:41:08,108 --> 00:41:10,009
Phonogram are about to make
an offer on the fucking Lazies.

649
00:41:10,010 --> 00:41:12,244
No, I know Phonogram are offering, and Island.

650
00:41:12,245 --> 00:41:13,746
- Well, are we meeting them?
- Yeah.

651
00:41:13,747 --> 00:41:15,614
- Today?
- No. They've just got into the country.

652
00:41:15,615 --> 00:41:17,249
Me and Darren are having dinner
with them later in the week.

653
00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:20,119
- We've got to get this, Steven.
- We're gonna get this fucking deal.

654
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,487
- OK?
- Yes.

655
00:41:21,488 --> 00:41:24,089
- Great. Bye.
- OK, yeah. Bye, bye, bye. Bye.

656
00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:26,685
Now, where is their fucking CD?

657
00:41:27,961 --> 00:41:30,089
- Been promoted again?
- Fuck off.

658
00:41:30,964 --> 00:41:32,264
Look, call Rough Trade.

659
00:41:32,265 --> 00:41:33,365
Get one biked over.

660
00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:35,134
- About the Lazies deal...
- Jesus.

661
00:41:35,135 --> 00:41:36,368
I just had Derek on the phone.

662
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:38,370
Apparently Independiente
are in the frame as well.

663
00:41:38,371 --> 00:41:41,933
- Two firm, 150 grand per album.
- Oh, fuck. You're kidding me?

664
00:41:42,843 --> 00:41:45,144
Steven, there's someone in reception to see you.

665
00:41:45,145 --> 00:41:46,479
Tell them to fuck off.

666
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,848
Actually, I wouldn't do that.

667
00:41:48,849 --> 00:41:49,407
It's a policeman.

668
00:41:50,617 --> 00:41:52,051
Hello. Rough Trade.

669
00:41:58,024 --> 00:42:00,721
- Is that for the Rage album?
- Yeah.

670
00:42:01,495 --> 00:42:04,055
Wow. My wife bought that.

671
00:42:05,966 --> 00:42:08,601
Yeah, not really my kind of thing,
to tell you the truth.

672
00:42:08,602 --> 00:42:10,603
I'm more into the guitar stuff.

673
00:42:10,604 --> 00:42:14,939
Played in a band until a few years ago,
sent a few demos off back in the day.

674
00:42:15,509 --> 00:42:18,479
The usual 'not what we're looking
for at the moment' replies.

675
00:42:19,846 --> 00:42:21,247
Well, it's tough trying
to get your foot in the door.

676
00:42:21,248 --> 00:42:23,082
- Sorry, Detective...?
- Woodham.

677
00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:26,151
Right. I'm just a little bit busy right now, so...

678
00:42:26,152 --> 00:42:28,087
Righty ho.

679
00:42:28,488 --> 00:42:33,449
Anyway, as I said, I'm just following up
on a few things relating to Mr Waters' murder.

680
00:42:34,027 --> 00:42:36,587
I believe you were with him on
the last night he was seen alive.

681
00:42:36,863 --> 00:42:38,964
Yeah. We'd been at the Brits.

682
00:42:38,965 --> 00:42:41,093
We shared a cab.
I dropped him off on the way back to mine.

683
00:42:41,868 --> 00:42:42,597
Right.

684
00:42:47,007 --> 00:42:48,031
What were the Brits like?

685
00:42:48,241 --> 00:42:49,436
Usual nonsense.

686
00:42:51,144 --> 00:42:53,746
Yeah, I mean,
I've seen it on the telly and that, but...

687
00:42:53,747 --> 00:42:56,382
I imagine it's different
when you're, you know, actually there.

688
00:42:56,383 --> 00:42:57,214
Yeah.

689
00:43:03,623 --> 00:43:06,725
Did Mr Waters have any problems
that you knew about?

690
00:43:06,726 --> 00:43:09,128
- Like what?
- Debts, for instance.

691
00:43:09,129 --> 00:43:12,264
- Or did he have any enemies?
- Probably a few enemies.

692
00:43:12,265 --> 00:43:14,359
You have to say no to people an awful lot.

693
00:43:15,268 --> 00:43:16,268
Tell me about it.

694
00:43:16,269 --> 00:43:18,270
I mean, he's unlikely
to have had any money worries.

695
00:43:18,271 --> 00:43:20,831
Expenses all the way
in your bloody racket, isn't it?

696
00:43:22,008 --> 00:43:24,443
Yeah, we have been known
to claim a few beers back.

697
00:43:26,613 --> 00:43:28,946
- You'd been drinking that night?
- It was the Brits

698
00:43:29,015 --> 00:43:31,075
- Drugs?
- Not for me, no.

699
00:43:34,020 --> 00:43:36,353
There's evidence of cocaine use at the scene.

700
00:43:37,123 --> 00:43:39,858
Significant levels of the drug
in Mr Waters' body.

701
00:43:39,859 --> 00:43:40,383
Really?

702
00:43:42,028 --> 00:43:44,096
To be honest, I thought all you guys...

703
00:43:44,097 --> 00:43:45,965
That's a myth.

704
00:43:45,966 --> 00:43:47,696
It's not the '80s.
You have to work too hard these days.

705
00:43:51,738 --> 00:43:52,606
Sorry, Steven.

706
00:43:52,607 --> 00:43:54,939
Derek wants you to go up and
discuss The Lazies offer.

707
00:43:55,976 --> 00:43:58,707
The Lazies? Great single, that.

708
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:01,480
Christ. Tell him we'll just...

709
00:44:01,481 --> 00:44:04,041
No, no, it's fine. I'm done.

710
00:44:05,619 --> 00:44:09,388
- Thanks for your time, Mr Stelfox.
- No, thank you.

711
00:44:09,389 --> 00:44:11,857
Sorry I couldn't be more help, you know.

712
00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:14,350
If there's anything else I can help with,
then just give me a call.

713
00:44:16,496 --> 00:44:17,327
Thanks.

714
00:44:19,633 --> 00:44:23,729
Actually, there is one more thing.

715
00:44:26,139 --> 00:44:27,573
Can you tell me what you make of this?

716
00:44:34,848 --> 00:44:37,943
It's just some rough mixes
we did at my mate's place.

717
00:44:38,985 --> 00:44:40,119
I was the songwriter, you see.

718
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,855
I'd love a professional opinion.

719
00:44:42,856 --> 00:44:44,222
Sure. I'll have a listen.

720
00:44:45,025 --> 00:44:45,958
Great.

721
00:44:49,629 --> 00:44:51,222
- All finished?
- Absolutely.

722
00:44:55,969 --> 00:44:57,062
What was all that about?

723
00:44:57,871 --> 00:44:59,100
He was asking about Roger.

724
00:44:59,606 --> 00:45:01,575
I told him Id dropped him off
on the way home after the Brits.

725
00:45:03,009 --> 00:45:04,944
What's with this?

726
00:45:05,011 --> 00:45:07,708
Starstruck copper reckons
he's Noel fucking Gallagher.

727
00:45:08,081 --> 00:45:11,383
- He's quite cute, though.
- Fancy that, do you, Rebecca?

728
00:45:11,384 --> 00:45:14,853
Being married to some cretin who earns
25 grand a year and wears Next suits,

729
00:45:14,854 --> 00:45:17,346
tooling around B&Q on
a Sunday buying fucking tiles?

730
00:45:17,724 --> 00:45:20,694
- Well, if you're in love...
- Don't make me laugh.

731
00:45:22,028 --> 00:45:24,129
Where are you gonna take
The Lazies for dinner?

732
00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:25,264
I don't care.

733
00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:27,266
Just find somewhere that's vegetarian-friendly.

734
00:45:27,267 --> 00:45:28,701
Vegan, actually.

735
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:30,869
Well, what's their fucking deal, then?

736
00:45:30,870 --> 00:45:32,361
No animal products whatsoever.

737
00:45:33,106 --> 00:45:35,374
No fish, no dairy, no eggs.

738
00:45:35,375 --> 00:45:36,707
Fucking indie kids.

739
00:45:38,144 --> 00:45:39,339
How d'you wanna play this?

740
00:45:40,380 --> 00:45:42,247
You be the enthusiastic music lover,

741
00:45:42,248 --> 00:45:46,852
bang on about indie B sides and the guitar
solos of Tom fucking Verlaine or whatever,

742
00:45:46,853 --> 00:45:49,448
and I'll do the industry thing when
they say, 'Tell us about the label'.

743
00:45:50,724 --> 00:45:52,818
- Hey.
- With indie kids, you have to remember this.

744
00:45:53,026 --> 00:45:55,723
They really think that
what they do matters in some way.

745
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:57,129
They reckon that history will care,

746
00:45:57,130 --> 00:46:00,599
that they're passing on the torch
and just as they were influenced by someone,

747
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,736
then in the future young bands
will be influenced by them.

748
00:46:03,737 --> 00:46:05,370
The fucking arrogance of it all.

749
00:46:05,371 --> 00:46:07,506
- May I get you some drinks?
- Yes.

750
00:46:07,507 --> 00:46:08,741
Could you bring us the vodka menu?

751
00:46:08,742 --> 00:46:10,242
You guys have to check this out.
They've got over 30...

752
00:46:10,243 --> 00:46:11,744
Can I just have some more water, please?

753
00:46:11,745 --> 00:46:13,011
Yeah, me too.

754
00:46:13,012 --> 00:46:15,811
We've got an early start tomorrow, so...

755
00:46:15,849 --> 00:46:17,078
Fine. Thank you.

756
00:46:21,121 --> 00:46:24,057
So, what's your favourite track on the EP?

757
00:46:25,492 --> 00:46:26,460
Track 3.

758
00:46:27,093 --> 00:46:28,727
Right. Wow.

759
00:46:28,728 --> 00:46:32,096
- Great.
- So, guys, tell us about your label.

760
00:46:36,136 --> 00:46:37,331
Me? Sure.

761
00:46:37,971 --> 00:46:41,240
Well, as you know,
we'll manufacture your records

762
00:46:41,241 --> 00:46:43,676
and put them in the shops and that's about it.

763
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:47,479
We'll interfere at every conceivable
stage of the artistic process.

764
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,015
We'll remix and edit tracks
without your permission

765
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:53,719
and force you to appear
on degrading kids' TV programmes

766
00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:56,255
when you're hung over to fuck
at nine o'clock in the morning.

767
00:46:56,256 --> 00:46:59,992
We'll use your music to advertise
banks and petrochemical giants.

768
00:46:59,993 --> 00:47:05,264
We'd use it to advertise arms dealers and
whaling fleets if only the cunts advertised on TV.

769
00:47:05,265 --> 00:47:06,498
We'll under-account to you

770
00:47:06,499 --> 00:47:10,002
and charge you for everything
from that disgraceful fucking tofu

771
00:47:10,003 --> 00:47:14,373
you're about to order to the staples used
to knock your horrendous contracts together.

772
00:47:14,374 --> 00:47:15,741
And if it doesn't all work out,

773
00:47:15,742 --> 00:47:18,377
you'll be dropped faster
than a Plymouth hooker's knickers

774
00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:20,210
when there's a big fucking ship in town.

775
00:47:21,014 --> 00:47:22,014
How's that?

776
00:47:22,015 --> 00:47:25,713
Strap that on for a laugh,
you vegan hippy cunts.

777
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,127
Me? Sure.

778
00:47:35,128 --> 00:47:40,732
Well, as you know, we're very much
about long-term artist development.

779
00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:43,969
You know, we wanna make you guys
feel comfortable and make you happy that

780
00:47:43,970 --> 00:47:45,233
you're producing the sort of music...

781
00:47:46,105 --> 00:47:49,234
Come on! I'm the fucking king.

782
00:47:57,851 --> 00:48:00,085
Come on! I'm the fucking king!

783
00:48:00,086 --> 00:48:01,987
When he goes up the octave,
it's just... it's magical.

784
00:48:01,988 --> 00:48:03,856
- Incredible.
- It's so incredible.

785
00:48:03,857 --> 00:48:05,052
- I mean, you play...?
- Drums

786
00:48:06,092 --> 00:48:07,583
No, we're just...

787
00:48:08,862 --> 00:48:09,591
We're...

788
00:48:11,965 --> 00:48:13,934
Excuse me. I'll be back in a second.

789
00:48:14,868 --> 00:48:18,136
All righty. Anyone for dessert
or shall we go for a nightcap?

790
00:48:18,137 --> 00:48:20,606
Actually, I think we're gonna
hit the road now.

791
00:48:20,607 --> 00:48:22,507
Come on. The night is young.

792
00:48:22,508 --> 00:48:26,745
OK, all right. Well, I'll get our lawyer
to give your guy a call.

793
00:48:26,746 --> 00:48:28,847
Yeah, great. See you at the show.

794
00:48:28,848 --> 00:48:30,942
Yeah, Saturday. Wouldn't miss it.

795
00:48:31,985 --> 00:48:34,352
Hey, are you sure you don't fancy a drink?

796
00:48:34,988 --> 00:48:36,121
Sorry. I'm really tired.

797
00:48:36,122 --> 00:48:39,091
Yes, I know this private members club you
and me could...

798
00:48:39,092 --> 00:48:41,061
Are you like hitting on me?

799
00:48:41,361 --> 00:48:44,092
- No.
- Look, thanks again for dinner.

800
00:48:44,631 --> 00:48:45,462
Good night.

801
00:48:56,109 --> 00:48:56,940
That went well.

802
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:05,816
3 days later and still no response
to our offer on The Lazies.

803
00:49:06,486 --> 00:49:10,446
With each passing day, they are becoming
the hottest unsigned band in the country.

804
00:49:11,024 --> 00:49:15,724
Whoever gets their signature is gonna look
like Clive fucking Davis with a six-foot cock.

805
00:49:17,030 --> 00:49:18,054
So what do you do?

806
00:49:18,364 --> 00:49:21,099
You follow the circus to the next town
and stand at the back,

807
00:49:21,100 --> 00:49:23,969
nodding along with all the other
clowns like you give a shit.

808
00:49:23,970 --> 00:49:26,064
Mr Stelfox. Hey.

809
00:49:26,973 --> 00:49:27,804
Hi.

810
00:49:29,142 --> 00:49:31,843
It's Alan Woodham, DC Woodham.
I interviewed you about...

811
00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:34,939
Yeah. Christ, sorry.
I didn't recognise you in your civvies.

812
00:49:35,381 --> 00:49:38,078
- What are you doing here?
- I still like to get out to a few gigs.

813
00:49:38,618 --> 00:49:40,951
I heard good things about this lot.
What did you think?

814
00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:42,947
Yeah, interesting.

815
00:49:44,490 --> 00:49:46,258
Any progress with the investigation?

816
00:49:46,259 --> 00:49:47,626
Not really.

817
00:49:47,627 --> 00:49:49,357
None of the neighbours saw anything.

818
00:49:50,730 --> 00:49:54,733
So, what did you think of my demo?

819
00:49:54,734 --> 00:49:56,464
Be frank. I can take it.

820
00:49:57,603 --> 00:50:00,198
Actually, I have to say, I was really impressed.

821
00:50:01,007 --> 00:50:02,240
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

822
00:50:02,241 --> 00:50:03,573
There's some great songs on there.

823
00:50:04,243 --> 00:50:07,680
- What was your favourite?
- Track 3.

824
00:50:07,981 --> 00:50:09,711
- Time Keeps Moving.
- Yeah.

825
00:50:10,383 --> 00:50:12,384
Thanks for taking the time to have a listen.

826
00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:13,719
I mean, don't get me wrong,

827
00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:17,389
I'm not harbouring any delusions
about becoming a rock star at 30,

828
00:50:17,390 --> 00:50:22,829
but I did think with the song writing
maybe I could look at getting a publishing deal,

829
00:50:23,096 --> 00:50:24,462
you know, write songs for other people.

830
00:50:27,100 --> 00:50:27,829
Yeah.

831
00:50:30,737 --> 00:50:35,198
Do you know any publishers
who it might be worth sending it to?

832
00:50:37,744 --> 00:50:39,745
Yes, yeah. Look, I've gotta run.

833
00:50:39,746 --> 00:50:41,980
But let me have a think and
I'll give you a call, OK?

834
00:50:41,981 --> 00:50:43,574
- Thanks, Steven.
- Cheers, Alan.

835
00:51:03,002 --> 00:51:04,937
I love you, London!

836
00:51:08,141 --> 00:51:09,741
Thank you so much.

837
00:51:09,742 --> 00:51:12,075
You've been amazing.

838
00:51:14,247 --> 00:51:17,217
- Fuck a dog.
- Is that... Is that Parker Hall?

839
00:51:18,251 --> 00:51:21,949
Would it be fair to say Parker Hall's some
what closer with the band than we are?

840
00:51:22,989 --> 00:51:25,117
- When the going gets tough...
- What, the tough do Es?

841
00:51:26,025 --> 00:51:29,052
Fucking indie band.
There'll be another one along in a minute.

842
00:51:38,371 --> 00:51:42,374
But, I can get you a deal
if that's what you want.

843
00:51:42,375 --> 00:51:44,207
I can do a deal.

844
00:51:48,381 --> 00:51:50,749
I can get you a deal.

845
00:51:50,750 --> 00:51:53,251
You should call me. Give me a call.

846
00:51:53,252 --> 00:51:54,986
Who is Darren talking to?

847
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,218
Yeah? I'm the deal maker.

848
00:51:58,491 --> 00:52:00,323
He's literally talking to the wall.

849
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:02,929
I think he's offering it a record deal.

850
00:52:05,131 --> 00:52:07,566
That last double drop was an own goal, mate.

851
00:52:09,969 --> 00:52:11,002
Do you want a deal?

852
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,801
I guess you can have a deal.

853
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:17,843
Just give me your address.
Send me a signal. OK.

854
00:52:17,844 --> 00:52:19,574
- Next door.
- What?

855
00:52:20,012 --> 00:52:21,105
How do you know my mum?

856
00:52:21,981 --> 00:52:22,812
Will you give me a sec?

857
00:52:29,856 --> 00:52:31,688
Get some water down you, Darren.

858
00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:42,926
Strap yourselves in, lads.

859
00:52:44,003 --> 00:52:46,972
Looks like we're gonna be signing
The Lazies after all.

860
00:52:46,973 --> 00:52:50,102
Come on. I'm the fucking king.

861
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:56,577
Well... Parker Hall is actually signing them.

862
00:52:59,986 --> 00:53:05,118
The band won't sign with anyone else
but Parker Hall.

863
00:53:10,096 --> 00:53:13,865
It seems Derek's been talking
to Parker Hall for a while.

864
00:53:13,866 --> 00:53:15,960
He had breakfast with him this morning.

865
00:53:17,136 --> 00:53:19,230
His contract is up at EMI

866
00:53:20,139 --> 00:53:23,234
and he's coming straight over
to us to be head of A&R.

867
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:28,573
I don't understand.

868
00:53:32,385 --> 00:53:35,947
Derek has hired Parker Hall.

869
00:53:37,123 --> 00:53:40,218
He's going to be our new head of A&R

870
00:53:41,494 --> 00:53:44,828
and he's bringing The Lazies
in with him as his first signing.

871
00:53:46,732 --> 00:53:48,462
He's your fucking boss.

872
00:53:53,606 --> 00:53:57,338
As you all know, this has been
a very difficult year for this company.

873
00:53:57,843 --> 00:54:03,578
What with Roger's tragic death
and David Schneider's decision to move on,

874
00:54:04,383 --> 00:54:09,583
we have been missing certain leadership
in the A&R department.

875
00:54:10,022 --> 00:54:12,390
Well, I'm very pleased to say
that's all about to change.

876
00:54:12,391 --> 00:54:16,628
As we all know,
in A&R your reputation is everything.

877
00:54:16,629 --> 00:54:19,264
With a great reputation, you attract talent,

878
00:54:19,265 --> 00:54:21,962
and with talent, you get hits,

879
00:54:23,102 --> 00:54:26,470
and with hits, you build a successful label.

880
00:54:28,107 --> 00:54:31,475
And this man here has an incredible reputation,

881
00:54:32,845 --> 00:54:37,215
established at EMI where he had
tremendous success with Ellie Crush.

882
00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:41,119
I have personally been trying to get him
to work here for a very long time now

883
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,680
and I'm delighted to say
he's finally accepted.

884
00:54:45,391 --> 00:54:48,589
Please welcome our new head of A&R,
Anthony Parker Hall.

885
00:54:57,970 --> 00:55:02,374
I'm not one for big speeches,
so I will just say how excited I am to be here...

886
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:03,809
I'm walking in a forest.

887
00:55:04,243 --> 00:55:06,511
I'm walking in a forest.

888
00:55:06,512 --> 00:55:10,472
- I'm walking in a forest.
- No. No, it's pony. Take it off, Darren.

889
00:55:11,384 --> 00:55:12,943
Welcome to the new regime.

890
00:55:13,619 --> 00:55:16,388
OK, this is Cocoa and the Bean,
Edinburgh band.

891
00:55:16,389 --> 00:55:17,856
There's a few people talking about them.

892
00:55:17,857 --> 00:55:19,991
A&R meetings are
now weekly under Parker Hall

893
00:55:19,992 --> 00:55:22,127
rather than whenever
we felt like it under Schneider.

894
00:55:22,128 --> 00:55:24,863
They're also driven by a new focus and clarity.

895
00:55:24,864 --> 00:55:28,500
He's on everything early and has a sharp idea
of what he likes and what he doesn't like,

896
00:55:28,501 --> 00:55:30,936
what he thinks will work in
the marketplace and what won't.

897
00:55:31,504 --> 00:55:33,872
And if it's not bad enough
listening to his opinions,

898
00:55:33,873 --> 00:55:35,364
he's now asking for ours.

899
00:55:36,108 --> 00:55:41,342
So, I've been thinking about producers
for the new Lazies album.

900
00:55:42,615 --> 00:55:43,947
Any of you got any bright ideas?

901
00:55:46,252 --> 00:55:47,345
Gil Norton?

902
00:55:49,622 --> 00:55:50,453
Rob?

903
00:55:53,626 --> 00:55:54,594
Who are you thinking of?

904
00:55:55,494 --> 00:55:57,463
- Steve Albini.
- Fuck, that's good.

905
00:55:59,365 --> 00:56:01,966
He produced In Utero, Nirvana's last record.

906
00:56:01,967 --> 00:56:04,102
He just rocks up, box of microphones,
records the band live.

907
00:56:04,103 --> 00:56:05,270
He's thought all this through.

908
00:56:05,271 --> 00:56:07,605
The way I see it,
we've got enough buzz in the band.

909
00:56:07,606 --> 00:56:09,374
We're gonna have a gold record
with this one whatever it sounds like,

910
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:14,211
so let's just make an extreme record,
establish credibility,

911
00:56:15,481 --> 00:56:17,148
then we make something more commercial
with the second one, yeah?

912
00:56:17,149 --> 00:56:19,384
He isn't really asking
our opinions on anything.

913
00:56:19,385 --> 00:56:21,119
It's just some horrible test.

914
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,489
Do you know how many acts signed
to this company in the last decade

915
00:56:24,490 --> 00:56:26,823
have actually made their third album, anyone?

916
00:56:31,731 --> 00:56:32,562
Zero.

917
00:56:33,733 --> 00:56:37,329
We've got to get into the business
of developing long-term artists.

918
00:56:38,137 --> 00:56:40,505
Everyone here has their own specialties,

919
00:56:40,506 --> 00:56:42,006
so if we can play to those strengths,

920
00:56:42,007 --> 00:56:45,341
we're gonna have this department firing
on all cylinders, yeah?

921
00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:50,210
Rob, that Sound Collective thing you signed,
how many finished tracks do you have?

922
00:56:51,851 --> 00:56:55,447
Steven, I hear you're taking a look at
that girl band Danny Rent's managing.

923
00:56:55,721 --> 00:56:56,814
Songbirds.

924
00:56:57,022 --> 00:56:59,457
Apparently quite a few people are interested.

925
00:57:00,393 --> 00:57:01,361
Should we be doing it?

926
00:57:05,264 --> 00:57:06,232
Do I wanna sign them?

927
00:57:07,366 --> 00:57:08,561
I really don't know.

928
00:57:09,268 --> 00:57:11,828
Signing bands can literally
cost you your fucking job.

929
00:57:12,505 --> 00:57:15,240
Also, I must be mindful of
Parker Hall's intention here.

930
00:57:15,241 --> 00:57:17,742
I mean, you understand
what this little cunt is asking me?

931
00:57:17,743 --> 00:57:19,611
He might be privately convinced that

932
00:57:19,612 --> 00:57:23,049
Songbirds are a grade-A Bernard Matthews
turkey with hobnailed boots on.

933
00:57:23,749 --> 00:57:26,583
He could be doling me out just enough
rope to fashion a fucking noose.

934
00:57:27,620 --> 00:57:28,588
It's win-win for him.

935
00:57:29,121 --> 00:57:30,989
If I sign them and they're huge,

936
00:57:30,990 --> 00:57:33,221
he looks like the king of rock
because he OK'd the deal.

937
00:57:33,993 --> 00:57:36,494
If they go down like the Titanic
with fucking boulders strapped to it,

938
00:57:36,495 --> 00:57:40,732
he'll say something about how he had to give
me the opportunity to make my own mistakes...

939
00:57:40,733 --> 00:57:41,928
and he'll fire me.

940
00:57:45,871 --> 00:57:49,607
On the other hand, if I don't sign them and,
say, Virgin do and they're huge,

941
00:57:49,608 --> 00:57:50,701
then I'm fucked too.

942
00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:52,610
I'm Dick Rowe.

943
00:57:52,611 --> 00:57:55,847
I'm the guy who laid a giant shit
on the Beatles' demo

944
00:57:55,848 --> 00:57:58,616
and mailed it back to them with
little flags sticking out of it saying,

945
00:57:58,617 --> 00:58:01,815
'Go fuck yourselves,
you talentless Scouse bastards.'

946
00:58:02,988 --> 00:58:03,956
It's a nightmare.

947
00:58:04,623 --> 00:58:07,593
Loaded dice and poisoned chalices
all over the fucking shop.

948
00:58:09,094 --> 00:58:10,062
Well, Steven?

949
00:58:11,864 --> 00:58:12,593
Yes or no?

950
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:23,342
- That's your career over, then.
- Cheers, girls.

951
00:58:23,509 --> 00:58:25,068
- Well done.
- Congratulations.

952
00:58:25,244 --> 00:58:26,845
- Cheers.
- Thank you.

953
00:58:26,846 --> 00:58:29,941
Loaded dice and poisoned
chalices all over the shop.

954
00:58:33,486 --> 00:58:35,921
Just heard from Radio 1. Lazies single...

955
00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:38,256
- Straight in the fucking B list.
- Excellente.

956
00:58:38,257 --> 00:58:40,258
- Seven weeks upfront.
- Right, Tony.

957
00:58:40,259 --> 00:58:41,626
- Let's move on this one.
- All right.

958
00:58:41,627 --> 00:58:43,127
Guys, just give us a minute, yeah?

959
00:58:43,128 --> 00:58:44,262
Thanks, girls.

960
00:58:44,263 --> 00:58:46,232
Really excited. Steven'll see you out.

961
00:58:46,499 --> 00:58:48,132
- Girls, let's go now.
- OK...

962
00:58:48,133 --> 00:58:49,226
Come on, girls.

963
00:58:50,102 --> 00:58:51,229
- Cheers.
- Thank you.

964
00:58:54,740 --> 00:58:56,140
Locked out of the love-in,

965
00:58:56,141 --> 00:59:01,239
success with its thousand fathers
laughing at failure, the lonely orphan.

966
00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:04,046
I really don't like the way this is going.

967
00:59:06,986 --> 00:59:10,255
Gak, chang, bugle, nose-up,

968
00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:12,257
bag, beak, charlie,

969
00:59:12,258 --> 00:59:15,260
krell, chisle, bump, posh, sniff, skiwear,

970
00:59:15,261 --> 00:59:17,495
bronson, bolivian, toot, junior,

971
00:59:17,496 --> 00:59:19,590
chas, bounce, blow.

972
00:59:21,367 --> 00:59:23,368
There's someone to see you.

973
00:59:23,369 --> 00:59:24,337
Fuck tits.

974
00:59:25,104 --> 00:59:27,938
- Hi.
- Can you close the door, please?

975
00:59:31,243 --> 00:59:34,979
Sorry. I've been meaning to call you
about the publishing thing.

976
00:59:34,980 --> 00:59:36,209
Actually, I'm here officially.

977
00:59:38,083 --> 00:59:40,314
Need to talk with you again
in connection with Mr Waters' murder.

978
00:59:41,387 --> 00:59:43,254
Have there been any developments?

979
00:59:43,255 --> 00:59:45,224
You told me you'd been at the Brits...

980
00:59:46,625 --> 00:59:49,861
and you 'dropped him off
on the way back to mine'.

981
00:59:49,862 --> 00:59:50,830
Yeah.

982
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:56,230
But the Brits were held in Earls Court.

983
00:59:57,369 --> 00:59:59,702
You live in Notting Hill and he lives...

984
01:00:01,373 --> 01:00:04,571
lived in Maida Vale.

985
01:00:04,977 --> 01:00:05,808
Yeah.

986
01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:08,114
- Christ.
- Seems like a long way around.

987
01:00:09,982 --> 01:00:11,749
Why wouldn't you have been dropped off first?

988
01:00:11,750 --> 01:00:13,343
Think. Think.

989
01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:14,954
Did I say that?

990
01:00:16,855 --> 01:00:17,948
Shit.

991
01:00:19,625 --> 01:00:21,626
Yeah, no, that was it,
we were gonna drop me off first,

992
01:00:21,627 --> 01:00:25,129
neither of us had any cash and
I left my wallet in the office.

993
01:00:25,130 --> 01:00:27,498
So we went back to Roger's place,
he had some cash in the house,

994
01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,695
and, yeah, that was it.

995
01:00:31,136 --> 01:00:33,230
Sorry. I'd, you know, had a few.

996
01:00:38,243 --> 01:00:39,040
OK.

997
01:00:43,849 --> 01:00:46,683
So you were saying something about publishing.

998
01:00:47,486 --> 01:00:48,818
Yeah, I was.

999
01:00:51,090 --> 01:00:55,050
I don't think we'll have any trouble getting
a couple of publishers interested in your stuff.

1000
01:00:55,961 --> 01:00:57,962
I was just wondering
if you could get me a few more CDs.

1001
01:00:57,963 --> 01:00:58,692
Sure.

1002
01:01:00,099 --> 01:01:02,600
Great. I will make a few phone calls.

1003
01:01:02,601 --> 01:01:05,332
And I'm sorry about the confusion
with the Roger stuff.

1004
01:01:07,272 --> 01:01:08,240
No problem.

1005
01:01:09,742 --> 01:01:10,710
No problem.

1006
01:01:23,255 --> 01:01:24,587
Fucking hell.

1007
01:01:27,860 --> 01:01:30,591
I don't think the auto-tune's been
built that can handle this lot yet.

1008
01:01:31,130 --> 01:01:33,131
Right, enough's enough Send them home.

1009
01:01:33,132 --> 01:01:34,732
We'll get some session singers in and get it done.

1010
01:01:34,733 --> 01:01:35,564
And listen, Danny,

1011
01:01:36,135 --> 01:01:37,869
I don't give a shit about them
not being on the record,

1012
01:01:37,870 --> 01:01:41,005
but we've gotta do something about
the fucking dance routine for this video.

1013
01:01:41,006 --> 01:01:43,508
Yeah. Choreographer's simplifying it already.

1014
01:01:43,509 --> 01:01:46,946
Simplify it much more and they're just
gonna be standing there fucking wanking.

1015
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:49,573
Right, girls...

1016
01:01:54,386 --> 01:01:57,255
- For fuck's sake, Danny.
- I'll go sort the talent out.

1017
01:01:57,256 --> 01:01:59,123
The talent, no less.

1018
01:01:59,124 --> 01:02:01,259
Are you talented? Get fucked.

1019
01:02:01,260 --> 01:02:04,495
Go work in a guitar shop
with all the other talented losers.

1020
01:02:04,496 --> 01:02:06,497
Bono, Madonna, the Spice Girls.

1021
01:02:06,498 --> 01:02:09,267
Do you really think any of that lot are talented?

1022
01:02:09,268 --> 01:02:10,501
Don't make me laugh.

1023
01:02:10,502 --> 01:02:12,603
What they are is ambitious.

1024
01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:15,973
I guarantee you that in return
for her 15 minutes of fame,

1025
01:02:15,974 --> 01:02:19,610
someone like Geri Halliwell would have
risen at the crack of dawn every morning

1026
01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:23,981
and swum naked through a river
of HIV positive shark-infested semen

1027
01:02:23,982 --> 01:02:27,151
just to do a 30-second
regional radio interview.

1028
01:02:27,152 --> 01:02:30,953
This is what you want,
you've got a shot with that kind of attitude.

1029
01:02:32,091 --> 01:02:33,582
- Fuck me. What have you come as?
- Fuck off.

1030
01:02:36,729 --> 01:02:38,496
- What's the occasion?
- Lazies launch.

1031
01:02:38,497 --> 01:02:39,864
- What, tonight?
- I told you.

1032
01:02:39,865 --> 01:02:41,834
Cab's booked for eight.

1033
01:02:59,384 --> 01:03:00,579
He's playing a guitar.

1034
01:03:01,253 --> 01:03:02,949
He's jamming with the band.

1035
01:03:18,370 --> 01:03:20,464
Hey, boss.
You might wanna come and look at this.

1036
01:03:23,609 --> 01:03:26,244
<i>Rage, the self-styled drum and bass superstar,</i>

1037
01:03:26,245 --> 01:03:29,682
<i>was rushed to hospital</i>
<i>after a violent altercation...</i>

1038
01:03:29,748 --> 01:03:31,082
What a mess.

1039
01:03:31,083 --> 01:03:33,084
They're saying he might have brain damage.

1040
01:03:33,085 --> 01:03:34,576
Wow. How can they tell?

1041
01:03:36,021 --> 01:03:37,114
You seen this?

1042
01:03:38,624 --> 01:03:43,062
Well, the good news is this might be
our opportunity to rip up his contract.

1043
01:03:46,131 --> 01:03:50,101
Look, I'm...
I'm not one to dance on anyone's grave,

1044
01:03:50,102 --> 01:03:53,371
but... I was never a fan.

1045
01:03:53,372 --> 01:03:54,931
James, we're gonna need you upstairs.

1046
01:03:57,843 --> 01:03:59,675
- Steven.
- Yeah.

1047
01:04:00,012 --> 01:04:01,746
Can I just have a quick word?

1048
01:04:01,747 --> 01:04:02,481
Sure. What's up?

1049
01:04:02,482 --> 01:04:05,750
I've just had Jimmy and Marcy over.

1050
01:04:05,751 --> 01:04:07,481
- Yeah, I heard.
- Yeah.

1051
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:09,854
It's the launch night,

1052
01:04:09,855 --> 01:04:10,722
it's a big thing for the band,

1053
01:04:10,723 --> 01:04:15,558
and... no offence, mate,
I think it'd be best if you don't come.

1054
01:04:16,728 --> 01:04:17,923
Look, I don't know what happened...

1055
01:04:20,098 --> 01:04:22,226
...but Marcy says she gets a bad vibe off you.

1056
01:04:25,871 --> 01:04:26,964
I can't come anyway.

1057
01:04:27,105 --> 01:04:28,073
Got a gig to go to.

1058
01:04:32,244 --> 01:04:33,576
Right.

1059
01:04:35,147 --> 01:04:36,240
Well, take it easy, yeah?

1060
01:04:37,850 --> 01:04:39,341
- Early flight tomorrow.
- Yep.

1061
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:47,218
Outflanked, outmanoeuvred, outplayed.

1062
01:04:47,726 --> 01:04:51,686
At the end of the day,
you're either outside or you're inside.

1063
01:04:52,030 --> 01:04:54,829
You do not want to be on the outside.

1064
01:06:07,606 --> 01:06:08,437
Fuck off.

1065
01:07:03,028 --> 01:07:04,587
Jesus Christ.

1066
01:07:06,865 --> 01:07:07,833
Hey, you.

1067
01:07:17,376 --> 01:07:19,572
- Hello.
- I'm in the cab. We're pulling up.

1068
01:07:20,145 --> 01:07:20,942
Are you ready?

1069
01:07:21,847 --> 01:07:23,076
Yeah. I'll be down in two minutes.

1070
01:07:30,122 --> 01:07:31,090
Gotta go to New York.

1071
01:07:32,024 --> 01:07:32,957
I know.

1072
01:07:33,125 --> 01:07:34,457
I booked your hotel and flight.

1073
01:07:38,363 --> 01:07:39,194
Fuck.

1074
01:07:39,965 --> 01:07:40,796
Steven...

1075
01:07:42,968 --> 01:07:44,334
You killed Roger, didn't you?

1076
01:07:57,015 --> 01:07:59,750
I wasn't expecting you to put
in an appearance last night.

1077
01:07:59,751 --> 01:08:01,344
I thought I made myself pretty clear.

1078
01:08:02,621 --> 01:08:07,024
Look, I've got this Lazies meeting
with Ashley Werner tonight,

1079
01:08:07,025 --> 01:08:08,492
so you're gonna have to go
and see this band.

1080
01:08:08,493 --> 01:08:10,325
They're meant to be good.

1081
01:08:10,729 --> 01:08:11,697
Where is it?

1082
01:08:13,265 --> 01:08:15,359
It's out of town a bit,
I think, in Brooklyn.

1083
01:08:16,501 --> 01:08:18,936
And then don't forget
we've got that dinner later.

1084
01:08:19,604 --> 01:08:21,095
All the top brass from the American label.

1085
01:08:21,973 --> 01:08:23,566
It's at that new place downtown.

1086
01:08:23,842 --> 01:08:25,333
- Champagne, sir.
- Thank you.

1087
01:08:25,610 --> 01:08:26,441
There.

1088
01:08:28,146 --> 01:08:29,079
Thanks.

1089
01:08:30,749 --> 01:08:35,119
Listen, this is important, right?

1090
01:08:36,388 --> 01:08:38,357
We've gotta get the Yanks
behind the bands, so...

1091
01:08:39,624 --> 01:08:41,991
just do us a favour and
fucking behave yourself, yeah?

1092
01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:51,602
I have a sense of unravelling,

1093
01:08:51,603 --> 01:08:55,096
of things coming apart, spinning out of control.

1094
01:08:56,141 --> 01:08:58,110
And for the first time I begin to wonder,

1095
01:08:59,111 --> 01:09:00,611
what's it like out there,

1096
01:09:00,612 --> 01:09:03,446
on the other side, in the real world?

1097
01:09:07,486 --> 01:09:08,681
<i>Steven, it's Danny.</i>

1098
01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:11,355
<i>I've got a problem with this video shoot.</i>

1099
01:09:11,356 --> 01:09:13,689
<i>The girls aren't happy with the director.</i>
<i>It's all...</i>

1100
01:09:15,093 --> 01:09:17,324
<i>Hi. It's Rebecca. One other thing.</i>

1101
01:09:17,429 --> 01:09:20,399
<i>I know what you're like,</i>
<i>so I'm gonna put a time limit on this.</i>

1102
01:09:20,465 --> 01:09:23,765
<i>If nothing happens in the next month,</i>
<i>I'm going to start introduc...</i>

1103
01:09:29,241 --> 01:09:32,575
- What?
- You killed Roger, didn't you?

1104
01:09:33,245 --> 01:09:34,338
I don't care about that.

1105
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:35,911
He was an idiot.

1106
01:09:36,748 --> 01:09:39,946
Even worse at his job than you,
which takes some doing.

1107
01:09:41,019 --> 01:09:41,952
Here's a tip.

1108
01:09:42,487 --> 01:09:44,021
If you're going to kill someone,

1109
01:09:44,022 --> 01:09:46,624
don't have a company cab take
you both back to his flat

1110
01:09:46,625 --> 01:09:50,728
and then call another company cab from
there to take you home a few hours later.

1111
01:09:50,729 --> 01:09:52,322
These people keep records, you know.

1112
01:09:53,131 --> 01:09:54,463
What do you want, Rebecca?

1113
01:09:55,133 --> 01:09:57,830
Advancement, Steven. Same as you.

1114
01:09:58,970 --> 01:10:03,007
If I have to book one more flight,
one more restaurant table, one more hotel,

1115
01:10:03,008 --> 01:10:06,744
so that someone who knows less about music
than me can go tooling round the world,

1116
01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:09,079
getting off their tits,
pissing money up the wall...

1117
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:11,675
- You're insane.
- You've got no fucking idea.

1118
01:10:13,752 --> 01:10:17,086
I want an entry-level A&R position.

1119
01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,580
And I want it pretty fucking quick.

1120
01:10:21,726 --> 01:10:23,695
Parker Hall's been talking
about hiring a new scout.

1121
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:26,223
You can put my name forward.

1122
01:10:26,631 --> 01:10:29,133
Or you could fire Darren and give me his job.

1123
01:10:29,134 --> 01:10:30,367
You decide.

1124
01:10:30,368 --> 01:10:31,869
You know I'd be good.

1125
01:10:31,870 --> 01:10:34,601
The Lazies.
There's plenty more where that came from.

1126
01:10:36,741 --> 01:10:38,334
You're blackmailing me for a job?

1127
01:10:38,743 --> 01:10:42,339
Correctos.
As you all say in your stupid boys' club.

1128
01:10:44,149 --> 01:10:45,845
So I'd get on it if I were you,

1129
01:10:46,618 --> 01:10:51,056
before I start introducing policemen
to cab controllers.

1130
01:10:52,490 --> 01:10:53,321
OK?

1131
01:11:06,104 --> 01:11:08,664
<i>Mr Stelfox, DC Woodham.</i>

1132
01:11:09,708 --> 01:11:13,804
<i>Look, it's been weeks and you still haven't</i>
<i>got back to me about this publishing deal.</i>

1133
01:11:14,713 --> 01:11:16,306
<i>It's in your interest to call me back about this.</i>

1134
01:11:31,029 --> 01:11:33,864
- Hello?
- Alan. Sorry to call so late.

1135
01:11:33,865 --> 01:11:36,867
- It's Steven.
- Mr Stelfox.

1136
01:11:36,868 --> 01:11:39,003
Listen, about the publishing deal.
I think that...

1137
01:11:39,004 --> 01:11:40,871
Can you tell me why one
of your neighbours claims

1138
01:11:40,872 --> 01:11:45,105
he saw you entering your flat at 5:30am
on the morning of Roger Waters' murder?

1139
01:11:46,244 --> 01:11:48,042
You told me you'd arrived home at midnight.

1140
01:11:50,749 --> 01:11:55,585
I... I got up early to go and get a paper.

1141
01:11:56,621 --> 01:11:57,111
Paper?

1142
01:11:59,124 --> 01:12:01,059
Where did you buy this newspaper?

1143
01:12:03,862 --> 01:12:05,091
It was the corner of Westbourne Grove.

1144
01:12:06,965 --> 01:12:08,092
Alan, is everything all right?

1145
01:12:09,601 --> 01:12:10,694
I don't know.

1146
01:12:12,270 --> 01:12:13,704
Is it?

1147
01:12:14,005 --> 01:12:16,974
I'm sorry it's taking
so long with the demos,

1148
01:12:16,975 --> 01:12:22,937
the publishing deal,
but we will get there, promise.

1149
01:12:23,848 --> 01:12:24,941
Whatever you can do.

1150
01:12:26,251 --> 01:12:29,085
And please let me know in advance
if you're thinking about leaving the country again.

1151
01:12:30,622 --> 01:12:32,215
Yeah, of course. Sorry, I was...

1152
01:12:42,867 --> 01:12:45,969
So, on top of a girl band
who can't sing or dance,

1153
01:12:45,970 --> 01:12:48,505
a policeman who's extorting
a publishing deal out of me

1154
01:12:48,506 --> 01:12:51,108
and a secretary
who is blackmailing me for a job,

1155
01:12:51,109 --> 01:12:55,846
I now have to go to the arse end of
nowhere to see some poxy band.

1156
01:12:55,847 --> 01:12:56,815
Fuck that.

1157
01:13:37,722 --> 01:13:38,451
No, thanks.

1158
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:56,037
Hey.

1159
01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:58,976
- Hi.
- What was your name again?

1160
01:13:58,977 --> 01:14:00,343
- Emma.
- Emma.

1161
01:14:02,847 --> 01:14:05,849
Emma, you wanna... You wanna do a bump?

1162
01:14:05,850 --> 01:14:07,084
A what?

1163
01:14:07,085 --> 01:14:08,385
A bump. You want some bugle?

1164
01:14:08,386 --> 01:14:10,480
- I don't know what you mean.
- Chang?

1165
01:14:11,389 --> 01:14:12,357
Beak? Bag?

1166
01:14:13,124 --> 01:14:14,258
You want a sniff? Nose-up?

1167
01:14:14,259 --> 01:14:15,726
- Oh, coke.
- Yes.

1168
01:14:15,727 --> 01:14:16,695
No.

1169
01:14:17,729 --> 01:14:18,822
Thank you.

1170
01:14:19,864 --> 01:14:21,355
Fucking Shermans.

1171
01:14:22,133 --> 01:14:24,968
The situation at radio is inherently sexist.

1172
01:14:24,969 --> 01:14:28,972
You go in with a record
with an older female artist,

1173
01:14:28,973 --> 01:14:32,376
like Joni Mitchell or
Marianne Faithfull or Kate Bush,

1174
01:14:32,377 --> 01:14:34,511
and it's uphill battle from the get-go.

1175
01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:39,951
But if it's Clapton or Rod Stewart or whoever,
it's a different story.

1176
01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:42,821
Yeah, it does get harder
for women as they get older.

1177
01:14:43,855 --> 01:14:45,050
I beg your pardon?

1178
01:14:45,123 --> 01:14:48,025
Well, it's like you don't
mind seeing Bowie or Jagger,

1179
01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:49,626
you know, fruiting around at 50 odd.

1180
01:14:49,627 --> 01:14:51,028
There's still a certain charm there.

1181
01:14:51,029 --> 01:14:52,496
Clapton, he's just a muso.

1182
01:14:52,497 --> 01:14:54,865
No one gives a shit what he looks like.

1183
01:14:54,866 --> 01:14:57,367
- But Debbie Harry at 60?
- Steven...

1184
01:14:57,368 --> 01:15:01,738
Cher? Cher at fucking 70 playing
keepy-uppies with her jugs.

1185
01:15:01,739 --> 01:15:04,508
- Face like a melted bucket of concrete, Fuck that.
- Steven.

1186
01:15:04,509 --> 01:15:06,102
No, no cunt needs to be seeing that.

1187
01:15:06,978 --> 01:15:07,946
What?

1188
01:15:08,980 --> 01:15:14,112
What about women who are still producing
important artistically valid work?

1189
01:15:14,853 --> 01:15:17,988
Like... Nanci Griffith or Emmylou Harris

1190
01:15:17,989 --> 01:15:20,117
or... Chrissie Hynde?

1191
01:15:22,026 --> 01:15:24,127
No, I wouldn't fuck any of those cows.

1192
01:15:24,128 --> 01:15:25,963
- Who's this guy?
- Steven!

1193
01:15:25,964 --> 01:15:28,131
Fucking prick!
Who the fuck do you think you are?

1194
01:15:28,132 --> 01:15:29,733
Who hired this guy?

1195
01:15:29,734 --> 01:15:30,868
How dare you!

1196
01:15:30,869 --> 01:15:32,235
Misogynist pig.

1197
01:15:36,241 --> 01:15:37,675
Jesus. You fucking bum.

1198
01:15:59,731 --> 01:16:01,700
<i>Please leave a message after the tone.</i>

1199
01:16:02,467 --> 01:16:04,601
<i>Hey, loser. Where the fuck are you?</i>

1200
01:16:04,602 --> 01:16:05,969
<i>You've been back three days.</i>

1201
01:16:05,970 --> 01:16:08,804
<i>I'd get in here before your old</i>
<i>mucker Parker Hall has a fit.</i>

1202
01:16:10,375 --> 01:16:12,571
<i>Ross has been trying</i>
<i>to get hold of you, by the way.</i>

1203
01:16:13,011 --> 01:16:15,037
<i>Call him back. Call me.</i>

1204
01:16:17,615 --> 01:16:20,210
I'm looking at the karma bank
and it's bad.

1205
01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,951
It's fucking bad.

1206
01:16:24,489 --> 01:16:26,583
It's like looking at one of
my own bank statements.

1207
01:16:28,493 --> 01:16:29,461
The tumbling zeroes.

1208
01:16:30,495 --> 01:16:31,262
Overdrawn.

1209
01:16:31,263 --> 01:16:33,697
Debit, debit, debit.

1210
01:17:09,867 --> 01:17:13,463
Maybe the course can be changed,
the karma bank replenished.

1211
01:17:14,739 --> 01:17:17,975
Maybe if I helped old ladies across
the road every day until the end of time.

1212
01:17:17,976 --> 01:17:21,378
Or if I joined the VSO,
went to Africa or somewhere

1213
01:17:21,379 --> 01:17:23,712
and helped swollen-bellied kids build dams.

1214
01:17:24,983 --> 01:17:29,079
Volunteered to drive the buses
that take mongoloids to the seaside.

1215
01:17:29,487 --> 01:17:32,924
Served gruel to skeletal pensioners
in London soup kitchens.

1216
01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:37,120
Or moved to the country and had kids,
ate oatmeal, went running, read books,

1217
01:17:37,629 --> 01:17:40,963
tried to raise them to be
so that they don't...

1218
01:17:43,001 --> 01:17:44,025
...they won't...

1219
01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:13,561
Well?

1220
01:18:15,033 --> 01:18:16,228
Are you gonna let me in?

1221
01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:21,570
- I had some people over.
- Jesus fucking Christ.

1222
01:18:22,974 --> 01:18:25,466
- What are you doing here?
- You've gone AWOL.

1223
01:18:27,111 --> 01:18:30,604
Rebecca's been covering for you,
but people are starting to talk.

1224
01:18:31,983 --> 01:18:35,152
Look, we haven't been working together long...

1225
01:18:35,153 --> 01:18:37,254
Listen, mate, listen,
let's get this straight.

1226
01:18:37,255 --> 01:18:38,450
We're not working together.

1227
01:18:38,990 --> 01:18:40,583
You work for me.

1228
01:18:41,092 --> 01:18:41,923
Right?

1229
01:18:43,127 --> 01:18:47,364
And if you wanna carry on working for me,
you need to get your shit together.

1230
01:18:47,365 --> 01:18:51,268
Then... then, please, get off your nut at dinner,
take the piss out of whoever you want,

1231
01:18:51,269 --> 01:18:53,602
but, I'm telling you,
I'm telling you, Steven,

1232
01:18:54,739 --> 01:18:58,335
you're this fucking close to getting canned.

1233
01:19:09,253 --> 01:19:10,585
You're a smart guy, Steven.

1234
01:19:11,622 --> 01:19:13,955
The label needs someone like you,
because you're sharp.

1235
01:19:14,859 --> 01:19:15,827
Ambitious.

1236
01:19:18,096 --> 01:19:19,223
But you have got lost.

1237
01:19:24,102 --> 01:19:25,468
We're all under pressure.

1238
01:19:26,137 --> 01:19:28,505
You throw enough shit at the wall,
then something'll stick,

1239
01:19:28,506 --> 01:19:29,973
but where's the talent in that?

1240
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:32,375
You might as well line a bunch
of chancers up on the stage,

1241
01:19:32,376 --> 01:19:34,936
let the public decide
who's gonna be the next number one.

1242
01:19:39,150 --> 01:19:40,118
But that's not the job.

1243
01:19:41,486 --> 01:19:42,317
I mean, John Hammond.

1244
01:19:43,721 --> 01:19:45,690
Ahmet Ertegun. Chris Blackwell.

1245
01:19:47,024 --> 01:19:50,260
Outside the music industry,
no one's even heard of those guys,

1246
01:19:50,261 --> 01:19:52,028
but look at what they gave us.

1247
01:19:52,029 --> 01:19:54,097
Ray Charles,

1248
01:19:54,098 --> 01:19:55,365
Dylan, Led Zeppelin,

1249
01:19:55,366 --> 01:19:56,925
Bob Marley, Springsteen.

1250
01:19:59,103 --> 01:20:02,699
That's the kind of music you measure
across lives, across generations.

1251
01:20:04,509 --> 01:20:07,343
That's why we got into this business.

1252
01:20:11,249 --> 01:20:12,808
What was the first record you ever bought?

1253
01:20:15,620 --> 01:20:17,111
Don't know. I can't...

1254
01:20:19,490 --> 01:20:21,220
Well, mine was The Cutter.

1255
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:23,692
Echo and the Bunnymen.

1256
01:20:24,028 --> 01:20:26,963
Winter, 1983.

1257
01:20:26,964 --> 01:20:29,266
Well, I mean, that's what I tell the bands.
It was actually...

1258
01:20:29,267 --> 01:20:32,465
It was Rio by Duran Duran.

1259
01:20:34,005 --> 01:20:35,200
That's between you and me.

1260
01:20:39,510 --> 01:20:40,478
It was Blue Monday.

1261
01:20:42,113 --> 01:20:44,344
- New Order. 12 inch vinyl.
- There it is.

1262
01:20:44,382 --> 01:20:46,112
<i>Please leave a message after the tone.</i>

1263
01:20:47,251 --> 01:20:48,048
<i>Steve?</i>

1264
01:20:49,086 --> 01:20:50,054
<i>Steve, you there, man?</i>

1265
01:20:50,855 --> 01:20:52,790
<i>Mate, I need to talk to you about the Songbirds.</i>

1266
01:20:53,825 --> 01:20:54,793
<i>Fucking hell.</i>

1267
01:20:55,126 --> 01:20:56,685
<i>If you're there, pick up the phone!</i>

1268
01:20:58,129 --> 01:20:59,825
Ross.

1269
01:21:04,502 --> 01:21:07,836
...from London, the Big Smoke,
bringing it to the north!

1270
01:21:14,512 --> 01:21:16,479
Some doable beasts up north.

1271
01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:19,382
What, are you gonna tell them
you're a music industry lawyer from London?

1272
01:21:19,383 --> 01:21:21,215
You might as well say you're a fucking astronaut.

1273
01:21:21,986 --> 01:21:23,620
I'm a fucking astronaut.

1274
01:21:23,621 --> 01:21:24,816
This is it. Come on!

1275
01:21:25,990 --> 01:21:26,582
Here we go.

1276
01:21:33,130 --> 01:21:34,223
They're doing the dance.

1277
01:21:36,601 --> 01:21:38,433
It's got its own fucking dance.

1278
01:21:46,143 --> 01:21:48,745
It's not just here.
It's like this all over the country, Steven.

1279
01:21:48,746 --> 01:21:51,944
Haven't seen anything like it
since fucking Whigfield.

1280
01:21:53,384 --> 01:21:55,151
I got blindsided, didn't I?

1281
01:21:55,152 --> 01:21:57,387
Side-tracked by detail and nonsense.

1282
01:21:57,388 --> 01:21:59,256
I lost sight of the big picture.

1283
01:21:59,257 --> 01:22:01,625
Only one thing matters in this racket:

1284
01:22:01,626 --> 01:22:05,262
big hit records, and plenty of them.

1285
01:22:05,263 --> 01:22:07,864
Sort that out and
you can do what you fucking like.

1286
01:22:07,865 --> 01:22:09,733
Right, OK, Songbirds.

1287
01:22:09,734 --> 01:22:12,135
Now, Pandora's on the phone
to Radio 1 about the playlist,

1288
01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:14,971
but as of this week,
the video's one of the most requested on The Box.

1289
01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:16,973
MTV have it on heavy rotation.

1290
01:22:16,974 --> 01:22:19,009
We're starting to get
a lot of interest from the tabloids.

1291
01:22:19,010 --> 01:22:20,610
Congratulations, Steven.

1292
01:22:20,611 --> 01:22:22,612
We knew this one had a shot, eh?

1293
01:22:22,613 --> 01:22:25,105
Result, mate. Well done.

1294
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,083
Cheers.

1295
01:22:27,752 --> 01:22:29,386
So that's why he didn't fire me.

1296
01:22:29,387 --> 01:22:30,854
We'd best get on with the album.

1297
01:22:30,855 --> 01:22:32,448
He knew the track had landed.

1298
01:22:33,024 --> 01:22:35,091
Success is a gangbang,

1299
01:22:35,092 --> 01:22:38,324
lotions, lubricants, cocks all over the shop.

1300
01:22:38,963 --> 01:22:42,058
Failure is a lonely rapist hiding
in the bushes.

1301
01:22:43,868 --> 01:22:45,097
They're all going to pay.

1302
01:22:46,971 --> 01:22:49,566
Everyone is going to fucking pay.

1303
01:23:10,127 --> 01:23:11,095
How far...

1304
01:23:14,098 --> 01:23:15,589
How far are you willing to go?

1305
01:23:17,134 --> 01:23:18,466
You'll be happy, mate.

1306
01:23:19,603 --> 01:23:21,435
You'll be very fucking happy.

1307
01:23:22,006 --> 01:23:24,032
So, any progress?

1308
01:23:24,842 --> 01:23:27,209
Who, me? I was gonna ask you that.

1309
01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:30,810
I have got some news, actually.

1310
01:23:32,083 --> 01:23:34,917
I've found a publisher
who wants to sign you as a songwriter.

1311
01:23:39,724 --> 01:23:42,091
You see, that's the key in this game, Alan.

1312
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,156
Contacts. Loyalty.

1313
01:23:46,130 --> 01:23:48,224
Favours banked and reciprocated.

1314
01:23:49,367 --> 01:23:50,460
You know what I mean?

1315
01:23:55,006 --> 01:23:57,339
It's exactly the same in my game.

1316
01:23:59,844 --> 01:24:00,675
Cheers.

1317
01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:13,023
In every difficult, worthwhile endeavour,

1318
01:24:13,024 --> 01:24:17,627
there will come a point when the easiest
course of action is to abandon forward motion,

1319
01:24:17,628 --> 01:24:21,121
to allow inertia to take over
and return to the status quo.

1320
01:24:26,737 --> 01:24:27,971
- All right?
- Yeah.

1321
01:24:27,972 --> 01:24:30,066
I was just looking for a demo
we were talking about.

1322
01:24:35,980 --> 01:24:37,471
Tony left me some tickets.

1323
01:24:38,482 --> 01:24:39,211
Did he now?

1324
01:24:40,084 --> 01:24:41,211
Anything I should know about?

1325
01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:44,054
No, it's just some band.

1326
01:24:44,255 --> 01:24:46,588
He didn't think they'd be your cup of tea,
so he thought I should check them out.

1327
01:24:53,097 --> 01:24:53,826
Here you go.

1328
01:24:57,134 --> 01:24:58,227
Don't wanna be late.

1329
01:25:03,007 --> 01:25:04,031
See you in the morning.

1330
01:25:05,609 --> 01:25:10,480
It is the brave and great man
who upon recognising this point resists inertia

1331
01:25:10,481 --> 01:25:15,044
and smashes on through to the far side,
no matter the cost.

1332
01:25:15,386 --> 01:25:18,948
I call this juncture
'the critical moment of will'.

1333
01:25:19,490 --> 01:25:21,124
No shit the sluts can't sing, Danny.

1334
01:25:21,125 --> 01:25:23,321
Just tell them it'll have
to be a mimed PA or something.

1335
01:25:23,627 --> 01:25:25,261
The girls aren't gonna be happy
about this, Steven.

1336
01:25:25,262 --> 01:25:27,864
They're kicking off.
We already changed the choreographer

1337
01:25:27,865 --> 01:25:29,094
Just trust me on this, OK?

1338
01:25:34,872 --> 01:25:35,840
There you are.

1339
01:25:37,141 --> 01:25:38,234
What's going on?

1340
01:25:40,611 --> 01:25:43,206
- Strap yourself in.
- For fuck's sake.

1341
01:25:44,482 --> 01:25:46,212
The police arrived about an hour ago.

1342
01:25:46,617 --> 01:25:48,618
No one's been allowed to go upstairs.

1343
01:25:48,619 --> 01:25:51,054
We only know
'cause Jeannie came down and told us.

1344
01:25:51,722 --> 01:25:53,213
For fuck's sake's, mate, what is it?

1345
01:25:53,724 --> 01:25:55,090
Parker Hall's been arrested.

1346
01:25:55,860 --> 01:25:57,727
They found images.

1347
01:25:57,728 --> 01:26:00,363
- On his hard drive.
- Images?

1348
01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:01,195
Kids.

1349
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:05,195
I mean literally, you know, like babies and stuff.

1350
01:26:08,105 --> 01:26:11,701
I swear to God, Steven,
he's a fucking paedophile.

1351
01:26:18,482 --> 01:26:19,450
How far...

1352
01:26:22,620 --> 01:26:24,213
How far are you willing to go?

1353
01:26:27,258 --> 01:26:29,726
He's going on holiday on the 15th.
I'll tell him then.

1354
01:26:29,727 --> 01:26:31,923
There's no sense having him moping around.

1355
01:26:32,263 --> 01:26:34,731
- I don't want his car.
- What's wrong with Darren's car?

1356
01:26:34,732 --> 01:26:37,967
New car. BMW Compact at least.

1357
01:26:37,968 --> 01:26:39,269
You're hardcore, Rebecca.

1358
01:26:39,270 --> 01:26:41,102
Well, how else is a girl
gonna get on in this business?

1359
01:26:42,106 --> 01:26:43,506
Sit there and do my nails while the bands

1360
01:26:43,507 --> 01:26:46,109
I tip you off about become
the hottest fucking deals in town?

1361
01:26:46,110 --> 01:26:47,601
Cometh the hour, cometh the girl?

1362
01:26:48,746 --> 01:26:50,078
Something like that, yeah.

1363
01:26:52,483 --> 01:26:54,315
How's it going with your cute policeman?

1364
01:26:56,086 --> 01:26:58,254
I'm getting him a publishing deal
would you believe?

1365
01:26:58,255 --> 01:26:58,950
Really?

1366
01:26:59,990 --> 01:27:01,391
Who on earth is signing his publishing?

1367
01:27:01,392 --> 01:27:03,493
- Me.
- Did you listen to his demo?

1368
01:27:03,494 --> 01:27:04,961
- Of course not.
- I did.

1369
01:27:04,962 --> 01:27:05,691
And?

1370
01:27:07,131 --> 01:27:07,928
Cunt.

1371
01:27:08,866 --> 01:27:10,960
Anyway, I think it'll be fine, although...

1372
01:27:12,603 --> 01:27:15,334
I might need a little help in that direction.

1373
01:27:15,873 --> 01:27:17,740
Don't push your luck.

1374
01:27:17,741 --> 01:27:19,334
It's in your interest too.

1375
01:27:20,377 --> 01:27:21,811
My interest, no less?

1376
01:27:23,080 --> 01:27:24,309
You're priceless, Steven.

1377
01:27:28,152 --> 01:27:31,120
Not that he'll notice, but this
is the cheapest champagne in the house.

1378
01:27:31,121 --> 01:27:32,722
The celebration's fake.

1379
01:27:32,723 --> 01:27:33,856
The friends are fake.

1380
01:27:33,857 --> 01:27:36,349
The only real thing at the table
is Woodham's stupid smile.

1381
01:27:36,961 --> 01:27:38,327
Fuck. Excuse me a sec, guys.

1382
01:27:44,501 --> 01:27:46,094
Oi, Mr Stelfox.

1383
01:27:51,742 --> 01:27:54,075
All right, Steven?

1384
01:27:55,246 --> 01:27:56,339
Rage, I...

1385
01:27:57,014 --> 01:27:59,449
He don't talk so good since the accident.

1386
01:28:01,485 --> 01:28:03,044
How are you doing, mate?

1387
01:28:03,387 --> 01:28:06,489
- He just wanted to say hello.
- Yeah.

1388
01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:09,085
- Come on, let's get you cleaned up.
- Yeah.

1389
01:28:15,132 --> 01:28:16,828
- Steven.
- Trellick.

1390
01:28:17,501 --> 01:28:19,602
- Did you drop Rage yet?
- Well, yes.

1391
01:28:19,603 --> 01:28:21,738
No, I mean,
did you actually terminate his contract?

1392
01:28:21,739 --> 01:28:23,506
No, not exactly.

1393
01:28:23,507 --> 01:28:25,508
- Good. Don't.
- What?

1394
01:28:25,509 --> 01:28:28,104
I said do not drop Rage.

1395
01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:30,106
I've got an idea.

1396
01:28:39,623 --> 01:28:41,057
I almost feel sorry for him.

1397
01:28:41,992 --> 01:28:43,722
He thinks this is all really happening.

1398
01:28:47,264 --> 01:28:48,596
The power of dreams.

1399
01:28:50,134 --> 01:28:51,968
When it comes to aspiring musicians,

1400
01:28:51,969 --> 01:28:55,201
there really is no upper limit
to their level of delusion.

1401
01:28:56,740 --> 01:28:57,708
So what's the plan?

1402
01:29:10,854 --> 01:29:13,256
Oh, shit. Fuck.

1403
01:29:13,257 --> 01:29:15,992
I didn't think an officer of the law
would be into this sort of thing.

1404
01:29:15,993 --> 01:29:19,361
More cokeheads in the police than
the bloody music industry, I bet.

1405
01:29:22,366 --> 01:29:24,562
Anyway, 30 grand.

1406
01:29:25,002 --> 01:29:27,938
I know you said it's not a big advance,
but I hardly make that in a year.

1407
01:29:29,740 --> 01:29:30,935
I mean, maybe I'll just quit.

1408
01:29:31,742 --> 01:29:34,610
If I was just writing songs all the time,

1409
01:29:34,611 --> 01:29:36,204
I bet in six months I'd have enough...

1410
01:29:50,961 --> 01:29:51,792
Alan.

1411
01:30:04,241 --> 01:30:05,038
Two?

1412
01:30:05,843 --> 01:30:06,811
For Rebecca.

1413
01:31:14,511 --> 01:31:16,746
Fancy making some drinks, Alan?

1414
01:31:16,747 --> 01:31:17,476
Fuck.

1415
01:31:18,982 --> 01:31:20,814
Yeah, OK.

1416
01:31:26,623 --> 01:31:27,591
Shit.

1417
01:31:38,602 --> 01:31:39,934
You reckon that'll do it?

1418
01:31:41,004 --> 01:31:42,700
He's a married copper with kids.

1419
01:31:43,974 --> 01:31:45,806
I don't think
he'll want this making the rounds.

1420
01:32:05,863 --> 01:32:07,832
I'm gonna enjoy us working together.

1421
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:12,094
You know, you really are hardcore, Rebecca.

1422
01:32:19,510 --> 01:32:22,344
You're either outside or you're inside.

1423
01:32:23,013 --> 01:32:25,812
You do not want to be inside.

1424
01:32:36,493 --> 01:32:37,927
I can't fucking take it.

1425
01:32:38,962 --> 01:32:43,058
Look, you'll make bail in a couple more days.

1426
01:32:43,367 --> 01:32:44,734
A couple more days?

1427
01:32:44,735 --> 01:32:46,226
They think I'm a fucking paedo.

1428
01:32:47,271 --> 01:32:49,968
- Someone's gonna do me.
- Easy. Listen...

1429
01:32:51,742 --> 01:32:54,473
I know this is not great timing.

1430
01:32:59,483 --> 01:33:01,452
But I need to get you to sign this.

1431
01:33:03,253 --> 01:33:08,055
It's just with the potential
publicity surrounding this, we... Derek...

1432
01:33:10,027 --> 01:33:12,963
...thought it would be best
if you took a voluntary leave of absence.

1433
01:33:14,631 --> 01:33:15,826
You know, let the dust settle.

1434
01:33:21,271 --> 01:33:24,740
Listen, you know... you know I had...

1435
01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:26,937
I had nothing to do with
that stuff they found, right?

1436
01:33:37,487 --> 01:33:38,318
Come on.

1437
01:33:47,130 --> 01:33:49,463
Here. I brought you some magazines.

1438
01:33:52,269 --> 01:33:54,238
There's a good review of
The Lazies album in there.

1439
01:34:00,510 --> 01:34:03,105
Hey, it's the least I could do, mate.

1440
01:34:05,015 --> 01:34:06,347
The taste of victory.

1441
01:34:07,250 --> 01:34:09,018
Savour the rusty blood of your enemies,

1442
01:34:09,019 --> 01:34:12,121
but, remember, the true warrior understands

1443
01:34:12,122 --> 01:34:16,359
that war is not a crisis or
an event but a ceaseless state of being.

1444
01:34:16,360 --> 01:34:19,922
Power comes from the relentless
pursuit of the unattainable.

1445
01:34:20,497 --> 01:34:21,590
Oi, oi.

1446
01:34:26,603 --> 01:34:27,696
Listen to this.

1447
01:34:28,271 --> 01:34:29,505
'Rage.'

1448
01:34:29,506 --> 01:34:31,839
'This harrowing, fractured piece,

1449
01:34:32,376 --> 01:34:35,978
is the sound of a man trying
to communicate with an environment

1450
01:34:35,979 --> 01:34:38,346
he has been savagely dislocated from.'

1451
01:34:41,084 --> 01:34:43,853
- We're shipping gold, mate.
- We might just fucking recoup.

1452
01:34:43,854 --> 01:34:45,621
The drum and bass Stephen Hawking,

1453
01:34:45,622 --> 01:34:50,092
the ultimate coffee-table accessory
for today's middle-class spastic.

1454
01:34:50,093 --> 01:34:52,862
Rage, the talentless halfwit.

1455
01:34:52,863 --> 01:34:55,958
The last turkey in the shop
sprouts some fucking wings.

1456
01:34:59,870 --> 01:35:00,701
Well?

1457
01:35:02,739 --> 01:35:04,105
We just got the midweeks.

1458
01:35:05,142 --> 01:35:09,612
It would appear that Songbirds
are number one by a country mile.

1459
01:35:09,613 --> 01:35:11,104
- Come on!
- Come on!

1460
01:35:13,984 --> 01:35:16,715
Would our new head of A&R care
to make a speech?

1461
01:35:19,990 --> 01:35:21,390
- Alan.
- What?

1462
01:35:21,391 --> 01:35:22,359
Alan.

1463
01:35:24,094 --> 01:35:27,730
Alan, help! Alan...

1464
01:35:27,731 --> 01:35:29,563
- She just fell.
- Christ!

1465
01:35:30,267 --> 01:35:32,361
What kind of fucking...

1466
01:35:41,011 --> 01:35:42,035
She's dead.

1467
01:35:42,746 --> 01:35:44,578
Jesus. Jesus!

1468
01:35:45,248 --> 01:35:46,580
Shit. Fuck.

1469
01:35:47,250 --> 01:35:48,946
Fucking...

1470
01:35:50,253 --> 01:35:53,052
Oh, God. What happened?

1471
01:35:54,725 --> 01:35:55,920
I don't know, Alan!

1472
01:35:59,262 --> 01:36:01,959
She fell off the bed on the bottle.

1473
01:36:02,499 --> 01:36:03,592
She's dead!

1474
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:07,095
- Fucking God!
- Through the fucking neck, didn't it.

1475
01:36:13,510 --> 01:36:14,705
I'm calling the police.

1476
01:36:15,746 --> 01:36:17,237
I am the fucking police.

1477
01:36:18,982 --> 01:36:20,075
We're out of our minds.

1478
01:36:21,618 --> 01:36:24,816
There'll be forensic evidence
that we both, you know...

1479
01:36:25,722 --> 01:36:26,917
Christ.

1480
01:36:29,126 --> 01:36:31,095
You know what happens to coppers in prison?

1481
01:36:35,732 --> 01:36:36,927
So what are we going to do?

1482
01:36:38,869 --> 01:36:41,604
There's a level of grief you'll take
from doing your secretary.

1483
01:36:41,605 --> 01:36:43,139
The red eyes, the balled Kleenexes,

1484
01:36:43,140 --> 01:36:46,842
the substandard work and
the frosty silences in the office.

1485
01:36:46,843 --> 01:36:48,812
And there's a level of grief
you definitely don't want.

1486
01:36:49,513 --> 01:36:52,711
Like a copper on ketamine dismembering
a corpse in your fucking en suite.

1487
01:36:56,720 --> 01:36:59,451
Still, secretaries come and go.

1488
01:36:59,990 --> 01:37:01,857
Bands come and go.

1489
01:37:01,858 --> 01:37:03,588
Even executives come and go.

1490
01:37:04,127 --> 01:37:08,264
But record companies, we're here forever.

1491
01:37:08,265 --> 01:37:10,366
Schneider, Waters,

1492
01:37:10,367 --> 01:37:13,269
Parker Hall,
bloody Rebecca suddenly buggering off.

1493
01:37:13,270 --> 01:37:14,829
We've had a very difficult year.

1494
01:37:16,139 --> 01:37:17,573
But it's a tough business.

1495
01:37:18,375 --> 01:37:19,343
You know what they say.

1496
01:37:20,110 --> 01:37:22,244
A&R, artiste and repertoire,

1497
01:37:22,245 --> 01:37:26,580
the branch of the music industry concerned
with finding and nurturing new talent.

1498
01:37:27,250 --> 01:37:30,119
Since the first field hand
crawled out of a Mississippi swamp

1499
01:37:30,120 --> 01:37:33,255
and croaked his miserable blues
into a wax cylinder,

1500
01:37:33,256 --> 01:37:35,589
we've been here, taking our piece.

1501
01:37:36,726 --> 01:37:39,560
The Beatles earned a penny
a record for most of their career.

1502
01:37:40,363 --> 01:37:41,922
The fucking balls on us.

1503
01:37:43,867 --> 01:37:45,096
Artiste and repertoire?

1504
01:37:46,269 --> 01:37:47,703
Assault and retribution.

1505
01:37:49,139 --> 01:37:50,835
Annihilation and robbery.

1506
01:37:53,109 --> 01:37:55,110
Armageddon...

1507
01:37:55,111 --> 01:37:56,079
...and revenge.

1508
01:37:57,614 --> 01:38:00,812
What is the meaning of life, young Stelfox?

1509
01:38:02,152 --> 01:38:04,620
- It's to drive your enemies...
- Your enemies before you.

1510
01:38:04,621 --> 01:38:08,058
And hear the lamentations of their women.

1510
01:38:09,305 --> 01:38:15,274
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