1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,579
<i> Seventeen past the hour</i>
<i> of 8:00 with tnt.</i>

3
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,181
<i> We check your traffic</i>
<i> every ten minutes.</i>

4
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,150
<i> Here's Mike Nolan,</i>
<i> kfi in the sky.</i>

5
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,252
<i>Good morning, Tracy. Still busy</i>
<i> southbound on the Hollywood.</i>

6
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:57,423
<i> It'll be a struggle from</i>
<i>Hollywood blvd toward alvarado.</i>

7
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,793
<i> But overall, I think you'll</i>
<i>enjoy this Monday morning ride.</i>

8
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,128
Oh, man.

9
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,631
Ah, shit!

10
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,509
Oh, shit, my fucking keys.
Oh, fuck!

11
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,749
Yes. I'd like to thank you
for your order.

12
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,518
You should receive your
<i> groom your Booty</i>

13
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,488
limited edition workout videos
in two to three weeks.

14
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,456
Yes. Okay.

15
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,660
Hey. How are the calls today?

16
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,430
I got the Booty calls,
you got the tech support.

17
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:15,634
Your stereotypical rubbish
handed down by your bourgeoisie.

18
00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:19,738
Think she saw me
come in late?

19
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,609
She definitely didn't see you
come in on time, drew.

20
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,843
Thank you for calling
vantage light bulb.

21
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,745
How may I brighten up your day?

22
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,714
Start by telling me why I've
got an entire Christmas tree

23
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,516
that won't light up.

24
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,718
<i> Who makes light bulbs</i>
<i> that don't light up?</i>

25
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,353
Sir, I don't actually
make the lights.

26
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,488
I just try to provide a solution
for your problem.

27
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,423
Now, are your lights
properly plugged in?

28
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,893
Young man, I am a retired
electrical engineer

29
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,628
<i> with the United States</i>
<i> military.</i>

30
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,862
Yes, and thank you for that.

31
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,731
So your lights
are properly plugged

32
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,232
into an electrical outlet?

33
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,734
Oh!

34
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,203
An electrical outlet!

35
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,405
<i> Thank you, Benjamin Franklin!</i>

36
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,275
All this time, I had them
plugged into my dog's ass!

37
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,178
<i> Get me a supervisor,</i>
<i> you idiot!</i>

38
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,348
Do you read the news, drew?

39
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,883
Sometimes.

40
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,652
How about the wall street parts?

41
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,387
On occasion.

42
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,689
I don't think you do
because if you did,

43
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,959
you'd realize that this country
is in a financial crisis.

44
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:18,230
It's on the brink of a national
economical depression.

45
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,766
It's gotten so bad
that only one in twelve people

46
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,301
are gainfully employed.

47
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,670
Gainfully?

48
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:28,840
I would think that
the lucky few who have jobs

49
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:32,211
would be bending over
with gratitude.

50
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,979
- I--
- uh--

51
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,916
are you bending, drew?

52
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,786
I try and bend.

53
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,855
Well, I don't see any bending.

54
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,225
With a, uh,

55
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:49,461
oh, a 49% call rating,

56
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,496
I'm gonna go
with no bending.

57
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,532
I'll try to bend more.

58
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,667
Oh, you will bend, drew.

59
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,903
All eight hours
of every shift,

60
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:02,407
you will bend over
and take everything I give you.

61
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:07,012
Think of a... oh!

62
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,781
Think of a happy
little giraffe.

63
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,550
Ooh, ooh! He's running.

64
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,252
He's running through
a field in Africa.

65
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,586
Oh, oh, oh!

66
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,555
He sees a tree with some leaves.

67
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,326
Mmm! Oh, he's eating them.

68
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:24,463
Aah! He's eating the leaves,
but it's not leaves, drew!

69
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,731
It's your asshole!

70
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,387
Get back out there!
Put the headset on your ears.

71
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,590
Act like you give a damn
about your job!

72
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,960
Where did you get this?

73
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,363
They're all over the Internet.

74
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,698
This isn't me, ebony.

75
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,466
Oh! That's not you?

76
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,868
That's my face,
not my body.

77
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,904
So do you have a twin sister
that you never mention?

78
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:41,440
Zip it, Hugo!

79
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,774
Zipping.

80
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,844
Human resources is investigating
as we speak.

81
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,979
Human resources? I don't have
time to talk about this.

82
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,681
I gotta go pre-board.

83
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,583
You are not going anywhere.
They have grounded you

84
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,752
until the investigation
has wrapped.

85
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,454
This is my job.

86
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,822
Nikki, I've got direct orders.

87
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,924
You are suspended indefinitely
without pay.

88
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,759
Now, I need your wings.

89
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,960
Clipped.

90
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,866
You obviously do not need these,
fairy boy.

91
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,102
At least I have wings.

92
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,739
Every day I feel like
I'm in prison in there.

93
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,375
Yeah, but prison is prison
'cause you don't get a break.

94
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:17,642
- It's a metaphor.
- You mean an analogy?

95
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:18,944
I mean I hate my job.

96
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,380
Lots of people
hate their job, man.

97
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,681
And my roommate.

98
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,549
Roommates are roommates, dog.

99
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,986
You think it helps me to echo
what I say after I said it?

100
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,956
Echo? These are
words of affirmation.

101
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,125
I'm trying to help you
enjoy life, brother. Relax.

102
00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:35,060
Life? This is not a life.

103
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,796
I live in a one-bedroom
apartment with a caveman.

104
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,564
I failed the bar
for the second time now,

105
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,500
which means I gotta keep working
at the call center,

106
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:45,637
where Kathy wants to shove
a giraffe into my ass.

107
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:49,641
Damn. That does sound
like prison.

108
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,444
You might think it's funny,

109
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,646
but the civil rights movement
is no joke, drew.

110
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,815
We have a black president.
What more do you want?

111
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,985
I want my forty acres and my
fucking mule. How about that?

112
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,586
Oh, my--

113
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,189
what the fuck are you doing?

114
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,857
- Perv!
- Oh, my god.

115
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,526
- Hey!
- Fuck is his problem?

116
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,961
- Hey, are you okay?
- I think so.

117
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,930
What the hell was that?
Did you see him?

118
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,999
Yeah. He just pulled
his penis out.

119
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,568
Why didn't you do anything?

120
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,603
Well, it happened really fast.

121
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,106
Yes, hi. I need an officer.
I was just--

122
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,074
I don't know.
I was humped.

123
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,876
I'm not sticking around
to hear that shit, man.

124
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:28,146
African-Americans do not
fare well at crime scenes.

125
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,981
- Nate, you're overeating.
- No, I'm not.

126
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,650
Yes, he had a black face.

127
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,585
Mask, okay? He had a mask.

128
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,020
Not face.

129
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,656
Get that shit right.

130
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,002
Somebody report a hump and run?

131
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,571
Yes, officer, I did.

132
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,606
Is this the black face
that dry humped you?

133
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,975
- No, no, no.
- No, he's gone.

134
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,177
Put your hands in front of the
vehicle, where I can see 'em.

135
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,613
- What'd I do, officer?
- Or you will be tased.

136
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,515
This is racist, man.

137
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,183
He didn't do anything, officer.

138
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,652
- Who are you, sir?
- My name is drew Thomas.

139
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,821
Fantastic.
I'm officer who-gives-a-shit.

140
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,890
- What are you doing here?
- He's a witness.

141
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,093
- Oh, so you saw everything.
- I was standing right here.

142
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,229
And while the serial humper
was just hammering away,

143
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:19,564
you continued
to just stand there?

144
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,033
It happened really fast.

145
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:29,074
Okay, Nancy,

146
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,776
how about we start out with
a thorough physical description.

147
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,745
Well, I couldn't really
see his face.

148
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:37,115
Couldn't see? Because you didn't
have your contact lenses in?

149
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,818
No. I don't wear
contact lenses.

150
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,820
Because they irritate your eyes?

151
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,889
No, I don't need them.

152
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,698
You just hold on right there.
We're not done yet.

153
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,102
How many fingers
am I holding up?

154
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,170
One.

155
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:02,107
One and three halves.
That equals two and a half.

156
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,175
I'm afraid
you do need visual aids.

157
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:07,078
I didn't think
half fingers counted.

158
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,680
Just like you didn't think
a physical description

159
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,582
would be necessary
to apprehend the criminal.

160
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,184
Hey, officers,
this is about me.

161
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,186
So while this citizen
was happily complacent,

162
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,122
were you able
to secure any details?

163
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,024
Yes, and I already told you
he had a black face.

164
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,559
Mask, goddamn it!

165
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,961
- Hey, you shut your mouth!
- It was a mask.

166
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,896
You wanna get tased?
Just get the hell out of here.

167
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,899
Thank you, officer.

168
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,136
You know what?
My work is done here.

169
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:34,306
To make it official, ma'am,
please fill out that form

170
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,074
and mail it
to the address below.

171
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,210
That's it? She just mails it
and then just waits?

172
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,079
Affirmative.
Or you can do it for her

173
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,214
if you're not just
still standing here.

174
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,660
Really?

175
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,663
Hope you have a better
rest of your day, ma'am.

176
00:09:58,665 --> 00:09:59,698
Ready, rookie?

177
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,038
I get fired for naked pictures
and humped by a dog in a mask.

178
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,306
That's normal, right?

179
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,008
Naked pictures?

180
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,711
Now I'm late for class.
Just keeps getting better.

181
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,779
For the naked pictures or...

182
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,148
You know what? Forget about it.
Forget about this too.

183
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,985
Really? I could fill this out
for you and totally call you.

184
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:23,154
No. Just pretend you got good
Karma coming your way, right?

185
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,857
Right.

186
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:35,266
"Evan polus.
Starmaker academy."

187
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:40,405
<i> Evan, hi! This is Sara!</i>
<i> I did it!</i>

188
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,340
<i> I walked in the room</i>
<i> and killed it.</i>

189
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,876
<i> See ya soon, or should I say,</i>
<i> "you'll see me soon."</i>

190
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,746
<i> Evan, Mr. polus, it's al.</i>

191
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:51,783
<i>I just had my final callback on</i>
<i>that boxing film. They want me!</i>

192
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:55,053
<i> I used all your techniques,</i>
<i> and I killed. You're a genius.</i>

193
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,355
<i> I'm gonna blow this town away.</i>
<i> Whoo!</i>

194
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,159
<i> Darren Hughes here</i>
<i> from Mulholland productions.</i>

195
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,928
<i> Just had two more of your</i>
<i> people drop by my office.</i>

196
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,765
<i> Listen, I haven't seen talent</i>
<i> like that since,</i>

197
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,901
<i> well, let's be honest, ever.</i>

198
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:14,439
See, if I had a beer for
every one of these messages,

199
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,441
this entire room
would be foaming

200
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,843
in the suds of drunkenness.

201
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:26,317
Now, you people sit here longing
to be intoxicated by stardom.

202
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,019
How the hell are you
gonna make it

203
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,921
like these people
on my machine?

204
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:34,092
Well, folks, it's simple.

205
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:38,763
You're gonna do exactly
what I tell you to do.

206
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:42,133
Now, you want to get smart and
do your own thing, all right.

207
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,236
But please, don't come
running back to daddy

208
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,238
after you've been
chewed up and spat out

209
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,140
onto the urine-filled streets.

210
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,943
I'm the only person
in this town

211
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,412
who can take you
right to the top, baby.

212
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:57,282
Now, the sooner you realize
how lucky you are

213
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,818
to be here under my tutelage,

214
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,421
the sooner you people
will be shining brighter

215
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:07,092
than the big fucking Dipper.

216
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,827
So...

217
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:11,396
Watch out, NASA.

218
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,767
It's time to discover
some new stars.

219
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,438
That little Daisy Duke outfit
got me going.

220
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,342
Damn, if I were you, I'd get
ahold of that ass quick.

221
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,045
That's amazing advice,
as per usual.

222
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,748
Without her job,
she's gonna need a new pilot.

223
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,951
I could be your copilot, drew.

224
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,920
We can fly her into some
international territory.

225
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,789
What does that even mean?

226
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,324
This is your copilot
checking in.

227
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,025
We're clear for takeoff.

228
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:44,362
Expect a bouncy ride
with hella turbulence, you know?

229
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,201
Just like that.

230
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,537
You are sick.

231
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,773
Tell me again why you didn't
get her number?

232
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,175
Oh, I know exactly
where to find her.

233
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,113
Why did you leave me here
so soon, Michael?

234
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,949
You're my best friend.

235
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,885
You're my best friend.

236
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,453
You're my best friend.

237
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:13,124
You're my best friend,
Michael.

238
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,026
Jesus!

239
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,795
Dude, what?

240
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,932
Who is Michael?

241
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,200
Apparently an overdose victim.

242
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,969
He was your best friend.

243
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,337
No.

244
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,439
It's from a monologue.

245
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,974
Do you knock?

246
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,343
Who's that man
in the mirror?

247
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,978
What?

248
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,015
That man in the mirror
is you, drew.

249
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,284
He's your best friend
now that Michael has passed.

250
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,886
He's always there.

251
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:46,090
And sometimes
he is all you have.

252
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,862
Thank you for that, hansel.

253
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:53,598
Can you please
shut my door now?

254
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,031
no. No, I don't think
you get it, Hugo.

255
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,000
I need something different.

256
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,269
Something strange.

257
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,173
What are you laughing at?

258
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,275
No, I'm not.

259
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,877
Wanna open the door?

260
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,245
Okay.

261
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,115
Here you go.

262
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:47,118
Close it.

263
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,953
Close it!

264
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,259
Oh, my god!
Get off of me!

265
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,493
You like this?

266
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,195
Get off of me!
Get the fuck off me!

267
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,997
I can hold you
all day, woman.

268
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,331
Let me go!

269
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,367
Get the fuck off me,
you big bitch!

270
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,269
- Stop!
- What are you doing?

271
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,571
Drew? Oh, my god!

272
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,006
Dammit, dammit, dammit!

273
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,908
No, babe, you got this,
you got this.

274
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,543
Stay in the moment, Nikki.
Keep it. Use it!

275
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,246
I think I'm still warm.
I think I'm still warm.

276
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,915
Yeah. I'm gonna go
unleash the beast.

277
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,950
Oh, fuck yeah, bitch.
Blow 'em away, baby.

278
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:22,186
- Here it comes!
- Blow 'em away, baby!

279
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,955
Yeah!

280
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,425
I was warming her up,
you idiot.

281
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,560
Newbie class is that way.

282
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:34,332
You'll never be a star.

283
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,500
Cocksucker!

284
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,146
Good evening!

285
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,649
And welcome
to the world famous

286
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:31,356
starmaker academy!

287
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:37,762
Brace yourselves
for your group numbers.

288
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,564
1, 2, 3, 4.

289
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,033
1, 2, 3, 4.

290
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,334
1, 2, 3--

291
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,636
uh, shh...

292
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:50,608
Tonight you'll be stripped

293
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,611
to the barest
of your vulnerable bones.

294
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:57,749
Studies have found that most
people would rather not live

295
00:16:57,751 --> 00:17:02,453
than speak in front
of a live audience.

296
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:06,391
Well, you are the brave.

297
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:10,294
Que se dice, my brotha?

298
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,696
What...

299
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,465
That's Italian for hello.

300
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,334
Sei de ce CIA dito!

301
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,136
Move.

302
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:23,141
That's Italian for "you're late!
Sit down, please!"

303
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,209
What?

304
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,744
As I was saying,

305
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:30,081
you will be standing here
delivering your monologue

306
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,416
that you have chosen

307
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:36,721
that will accentuate
how far, how deep,

308
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:44,695
how wide your potential
as an actor should be.

309
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:49,400
The great Evan polus has
interested me as his gatekeeper

310
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,303
to determine
who gets in his class

311
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:57,241
and who get stopped
short of stardom.

312
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,377
If your group succeeds,

313
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:03,247
you will advance
to Evan polus' class

314
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,683
and have the opportunity

315
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:11,789
to be in Hollywood's
greatest showcase ever.

316
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,829
Do you wanna work
eight, ten fucking hours?

317
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:20,565
You own nothing.
You got nothing.

318
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,668
Do you know I eat octopus
three times a day?

319
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:27,438
I've got octopus coming
out of my fucking ears.

320
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,876
I got the fucking Russian shoes,
and my feet is coming through.

321
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:35,413
Hey, I'm no fucking
criminal, man.

322
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:38,716
I'm Tony Montana,
political prisoner from Cuba,

323
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,419
and I want my fucking
human rights now.

324
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:47,391
What a dork!

325
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:48,693
Good job, rowe.

326
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,696
That shit sucked!

327
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:55,666
As you can see, no one
can become a star overnight.

328
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,436
It is an evolution.

329
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,873
Even Brad Pitt was
a pathetic little lungfish.

330
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,908
Then we made him a star.

331
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,743
Brad Pitt didn't go here.

332
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,312
I don't know, did he?

333
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,315
Mr. Italy, do you have a name?

334
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,818
Rubisio uccellini.

335
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,820
And I have a lot more
than just a name.

336
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,355
Beautiful.

337
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,824
Let the evolution begin.

338
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:28,666
Max calls me up and says,
"que ce dice, my brotha?

339
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,234
I think I got heat.

340
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:33,504
Stay on this cell phone
with me."

341
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,439
He comes out of his driveway
and says,

342
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:40,745
"oh! I think they're coming from
every direction, my brotha!

343
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:45,249
I got bags full of money
just buried in my lawn."

344
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:49,954
So that night,
I'm out there with a flashlight

345
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,823
just digging up bags of money!

346
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:55,626
The end.

347
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,232
Uccellini! Ha ha!

348
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,770
Good job, rubisio.

349
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,840
Uh, quick question.

350
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,543
Our assignment
was to prepare a monologue

351
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,844
from a narrative film, right?

352
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,279
Right.

353
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,847
That was from a documentary.

354
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,482
Who the hell are you?

355
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,785
It's a monologue
taken from an amazing movie,

356
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,920
the<i> cocaine cowboys.</i>

357
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,790
Which was a documentary
with live interviews,

358
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,959
so there weren't actually
actors in it.

359
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,260
It was real.

360
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,629
John Wayne was cowboy!

361
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,731
He was a real cowboy.

362
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,700
So if you're not a fan
of real movies,

363
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,335
then you're probably
not gonna be a fan

364
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,003
of all the other real shit
that I have for you.

365
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,504
Cut!

366
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,672
Let's see what you got,
Shakespeare.

367
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,441
The director has yelled cut!

368
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,711
Now, class, self-control

369
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:50,314
is an important aspect
of this business.

370
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:53,884
Sometimes it's okay
to punch a thrust.

371
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:58,422
Other times, you need
to punch a thrust.

372
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,690
Yes, chance.

373
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,859
Did John Wayne
really smoke cocaine?

374
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,761
I'm right here, chance.

375
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,732
And no, John Wayne
was not a cocaine cowboy.

376
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,934
Can my monologue be
John Wayne?

377
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,436
Did you prepare
a John Wayne monologue?

378
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:16,707
The title of my monologue
is "Ruby."

379
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,477
Ruby. Ruby.
What is Ruby?

380
00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:23,714
Ruby is an Italian guy
who is in my acting class.

381
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,417
He thinks he's really big
and macho.

382
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:29,020
But if Ruby had
half the cock I have,

383
00:21:29,022 --> 00:21:31,856
he wouldn't have to be
so macho, would he?

384
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:34,492
Que dice, beeyotch!

385
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,494
Um, uh...

386
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:39,597
Give me back my family, fucker!

387
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:50,374
You know, one time, I...

388
00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:52,743
I had to be in a little play,

389
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,681
and I...
I swallowed the harmonica.

390
00:21:56,683 --> 00:22:00,451
They had to give me
the hemlock treatment.

391
00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:05,523
Why'd you leave me here
all alone?

392
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,892
You were my best friend,
Michael.

393
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:10,428
Scene?

394
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,405
Who's next?

395
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:23,641
Ah.

396
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,476
How 'bout you?

397
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:29,046
Tears just streamed down
my tired eyes.

398
00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:33,951
And then he came.

399
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:38,122
And he kissed me.

400
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:45,429
And with a ring on my finger

401
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:47,565
and in a promise in my heart,

402
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:51,936
I can say that I am loved.

403
00:22:51,938 --> 00:22:53,904
Alas...

404
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:56,540
I am finally loved.

405
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:01,045
Scene.

406
00:23:06,818 --> 00:23:08,386
Brilliant.

407
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:10,821
Not a single string in my heart
was unstrung.

408
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:16,160
I feel like I was ridden hard
and put away hot and wet.

409
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,463
Okay, it is time

410
00:23:19,465 --> 00:23:21,966
for you to become acquainted
with your fellow numbers.

411
00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:24,835
You will be rehearsing
with them this week.

412
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:28,172
Que se dice, my brothas!

413
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:31,008
Now it looks like this group
might have a fighting chance.

414
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,543
Why is that?

415
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:36,046
Why? Because I'm in it
tinker bell.

416
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:41,585
Tony Montana, puta, octopus!

417
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,188
Dork!

418
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,525
Well, welcome. We're just trying
to figure out where to meet

419
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:48,793
to practice our scene.

420
00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:49,994
Do you live close by?

421
00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:52,663
You got a house, don't you?

422
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:55,032
- Yeah, but--
- okay, cool. Let's go there.

423
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:56,434
No. It's not
the kind of place where-

424
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:58,436
hey, we're going
to your house.

425
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,205
The dork, the fairy and i
will see you there.

426
00:24:01,207 --> 00:24:03,641
Uccellini is out.

427
00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:10,881
He just made the bear
touch my penis.

428
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:13,818
Oh, my god,
you were so amazing, babe.

429
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:17,922
Like your boobs were heaving
and your mouth was like,

430
00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:20,691
like pulsing with rage and--

431
00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,060
see, I thought
i was the best too.

432
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:26,030
Your hair is like
so silky and--

433
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:27,731
- hi, Nikki.
- Hey.

434
00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:31,602
Hey, just so you know,
stalking is a felony.

435
00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:33,604
Heidi, rude.

436
00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:36,006
- You go here now?
- Yeah.

437
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,608
Gotta go.

438
00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:42,913
Mm!

439
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,519
Help me, mommy!

440
00:24:48,521 --> 00:24:53,858
I'm a big stalker
creepy douchebag!

441
00:24:57,196 --> 00:25:02,032
I can reserve the banquet hall
at my community center.

442
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,902
We'll have plenty
of privacy there.

443
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:06,670
That's a really
good idea, Ruth.

444
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:08,539
Maybe after we rehearse
a couple of times,

445
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:10,708
we could have some of your
neighbors was us perform it.

446
00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:15,079
Oh, wait until
the older folks see you.

447
00:25:15,081 --> 00:25:20,084
They're gonna wanna snuggle you
six days from Sunday.

448
00:25:24,122 --> 00:25:27,157
I've wanted you for so long.

449
00:25:27,159 --> 00:25:29,727
But this just feels so wrong.

450
00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:32,029
Shh. Don't think about it.

451
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,298
Just enjoy the fact
that you're about to be

452
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:38,102
with the best-looking man
in your life.

453
00:25:38,104 --> 00:25:40,771
Uccellini.

454
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:42,239
Uccellini?

455
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:43,874
Yeah.

456
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,709
Come here.

457
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:49,847
Lulu.

458
00:25:49,849 --> 00:25:53,083
I slave away all day

459
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:56,754
while you stay in my office
and humpy hump?

460
00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:58,055
What, this?

461
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:00,057
No. We were just
talking is all.

462
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:01,191
Nothing happen, Lulu.

463
00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:03,027
You shut your mouth, lele.

464
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,730
Ow, Lulu.

465
00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:08,232
Lulu, stop.

466
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:11,602
Stop. Listen.
Look, we talked about this,

467
00:26:11,604 --> 00:26:15,139
a guy that looks as good as I do
can't be monogamous forever.

468
00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:17,775
Sometimes I need
something different, you know?

469
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,243
A little strange.

470
00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,111
Strange?

471
00:26:21,113 --> 00:26:24,148
And that's why you wanna be
with my twin sister?

472
00:26:24,150 --> 00:26:25,916
You dumb little fuck!

473
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:29,353
Ow! Ow! Okay, okay.
Listen, stop.

474
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,055
What about my headshots?

475
00:26:31,057 --> 00:26:34,758
You dropped your little
gummy worm in the wrong pond.

476
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,827
Now you have no headshots!

477
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,329
Ow! Okay, look, look, look.

478
00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:40,331
Listen, what if i
go to the house,

479
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:43,367
and we talk about this
when you get home?

480
00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:45,970
You don't have a house anymore,
hotshot.

481
00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:47,304
You just got evicted.

482
00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:50,341
Oh, hello!
Come on in, take a seat.

483
00:26:50,343 --> 00:26:53,143
Lulu, let's talk
one more time, please.

484
00:26:54,846 --> 00:26:56,380
Hey, you know what?

485
00:26:56,382 --> 00:26:58,682
You're the one
that's missing out.

486
00:26:58,684 --> 00:27:00,351
Uccellini! Uhh!

487
00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:09,393
This mind and this body?

488
00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:11,295
She's gonna be
on a wounded knee,

489
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:14,031
begging this prodigy son
to return.

490
00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:16,200
I think what
you're referring to

491
00:27:16,202 --> 00:27:20,104
just happens to be
the story of prodigal son.

492
00:27:20,106 --> 00:27:24,308
It has absolutely nothing to do
with Asian sisters

493
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,844
or wounded knees

494
00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:30,180
or morons in leisure suits
on the fucking clock.

495
00:27:30,182 --> 00:27:32,316
Hey, step down, old man.

496
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:36,220
We don't any philigisticsum from
the walnut gallery, all right?

497
00:27:36,222 --> 00:27:40,424
The prodigal son
was ignorant and arrogant.

498
00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:43,227
But he had all the necessary
means for success,

499
00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,763
but only after returning home

500
00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:48,966
to the wisdom and guidance
of his father.

501
00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:53,337
You have the roar of a lion,

502
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:59,243
but a lion who's stuck
in a cold cage,

503
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:02,446
waiting to be warmed up,

504
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:06,050
warmed enough so you can
crawl out of your den

505
00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:09,086
and discover your time to kill.

506
00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:14,925
It has all the elements we need:
Greed, passion, anger, jealousy.

507
00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:16,360
I say we go for it.

508
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:18,929
I'm not doing a scene
from<i> bring it on.</i>

509
00:28:18,931 --> 00:28:20,731
Sounds like a total bitch fest.

510
00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:24,768
And rubisio uccellini
ain't no bitch.

511
00:28:24,770 --> 00:28:27,404
I say we do a scene
from<i> the godfather.</i>

512
00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:30,140
Actually, I've never seen
<i> the godfather.</i>

513
00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,775
That's 'cause
you're an idiot.

514
00:28:31,777 --> 00:28:34,011
Oh, that's productive.

515
00:28:34,013 --> 00:28:36,113
Oh, othello's here.

516
00:28:36,115 --> 00:28:38,449
Of course I'm here.
This is my house.

517
00:28:38,451 --> 00:28:40,384
And it's really nice.

518
00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:44,021
Come on, you guys, why don't we
do a scene from<i> stand by me?</i>

519
00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:46,290
There's four of them,
and there's four of us.

520
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,991
There we go.
That's a start.

521
00:28:47,993 --> 00:28:49,326
Three claps for rowe.

522
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:51,495
Those kids are like
eight years old.

523
00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:53,497
I'm not gonna pretend
to be a kid.

524
00:28:53,499 --> 00:28:56,133
Oh, I don't think
you'd have to pretend.

525
00:29:04,976 --> 00:29:07,778
Were they friends
with Michael?

526
00:29:07,780 --> 00:29:08,946
No, hansel.

527
00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:11,148
That was from a monologue.

528
00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:13,984
These are actors
from an acting class.

529
00:29:53,391 --> 00:29:56,093
Hi. Hey, sir.
Uh, I'm rowe.

530
00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:59,429
I'm sure you are.

531
00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:01,331
And that's my hookah.

532
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,867
Oh, I'm so sorry, i--

533
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:08,505
What the fuck?

534
00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:13,577
Thank you.

535
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:50,080
Ugh.

536
00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:03,927
I no wanna you go, papa.

537
00:31:03,929 --> 00:31:06,463
That's gonna be
on television?

538
00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:09,233
They're performing for us.
You're interrupting.

539
00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:11,468
Well, I hate it.
I want my ticket money back.

540
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:15,973
I'll miss you like the dickens,
sweetheart.

541
00:31:17,943 --> 00:31:19,643
I love you, papa.

542
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,948
Why is that girl calling
that little boy "daddy"?

543
00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:29,419
Is this some of that
perverted adult smut?

544
00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:32,623
It's a theatrical performance,
you blowhard!

545
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:34,658
Like a dinner theater?

546
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:37,628
Like a dinner theater, Lenny.

547
00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:40,564
Well, I'd like
a Salisbury steak.

548
00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:44,368
That tears it! That tears it!
That tears it!

549
00:31:44,370 --> 00:31:46,470
That's the end of it!
The end of it!

550
00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:51,441
Oh, dear, oh, dear,
oh, dear.

551
00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:55,913
It's not my fault that nobody
wants to hire these rejects.

552
00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:57,481
So tell them that.

553
00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,017
Listen here,
you dry humping fuck,

554
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:04,554
you don't tell daddy what
he can and what he can't do.

555
00:32:04,556 --> 00:32:07,958
You know, you do a lot of
talking with your pelvic region.

556
00:32:21,572 --> 00:32:24,308
Where the fuck is chance?

557
00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:33,383
Hey, drew.

558
00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:34,518
Oh, hey, Hannah.

559
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,353
How did it go
with your group?

560
00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:41,491
Uh, I wouldn't really know
how to put it into words.

561
00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:44,528
- Hey, drew-hoo.
- Oh, hey, Nikki.

562
00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:47,197
Um, Nikki, this is Hannah.
Hannah, Nikki.

563
00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:48,665
Hey, Nikki.

564
00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:51,134
Um, it's nice to meet you.

565
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:53,103
Uh, Hannah is in
the other class with me.

566
00:32:53,105 --> 00:32:55,238
Oh. Yeah.

567
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,374
Well, I will see you in there.

568
00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,376
Yeah.

569
00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:00,677
Break a leg.

570
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:03,447
Thank you.

571
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,551
Looks like she broke
more than just a leg.

572
00:33:07,553 --> 00:33:09,753
Poor girl.

573
00:33:09,755 --> 00:33:12,022
She's pretty good, actually.

574
00:33:12,024 --> 00:33:14,157
Yeah, well,
she's not a star.

575
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:17,160
Once you're here for a while,
you'll see.

576
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:19,129
So what's the difference
between the two classes?

577
00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:20,130
I gotta go.

578
00:33:20,132 --> 00:33:23,433
Evan: Unleash the beast!

579
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:24,501
Okay.

580
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:28,338
Chance, where the fuck are you?

581
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:31,641
- Move it or lose it, bitch!
- Whoa! Jeez!

582
00:33:34,413 --> 00:33:39,616
Oh, please, darling,
won't you reconsider?

583
00:33:39,618 --> 00:33:41,451
I can hardly breathe,

584
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:44,154
thinking about you
not being here,

585
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,123
laying next to me.

586
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:48,158
Well, duty calls,
sweet cheeks,

587
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:53,530
and this cowboy don't back down
to anyone or anything.

588
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:56,400
I no wanna you go, papa.

589
00:33:56,402 --> 00:34:00,270
Uh, now you listen,
and you listen good, son.

590
00:34:00,272 --> 00:34:03,173
While I'm gone,
you're the man of this ranch.

591
00:34:03,175 --> 00:34:05,542
Now, I want you
to feed the chickens

592
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,644
and milk them cows,
you hear?

593
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:12,416
And I want you to make sure
that your mother and sister

594
00:34:12,418 --> 00:34:17,220
are never fondled
by the other cowhands.

595
00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,623
Hannah: I love you, daddy.

596
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,433
Yippee-ki-yay!

597
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:32,436
Neigh! Neigh!

598
00:34:39,277 --> 00:34:40,277
Action!

599
00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:44,648
Men, I'm gonna ask you
one more time.

600
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:46,817
Who screwed up my mess hall?

601
00:34:46,819 --> 00:34:48,652
Sir, it was not me, sir.

602
00:34:48,654 --> 00:34:50,320
I didn't even
eat anything last night.

603
00:34:50,322 --> 00:34:52,756
Then you're dismissed,
soldier.

604
00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:54,257
Get out of my face!

605
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:57,260
It wasn't me, sir.

606
00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:59,663
I took an oath to serve this
country and to tell the truth.

607
00:34:59,665 --> 00:35:02,732
As a result,
i can't tell a lie-lie.

608
00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:05,802
Saved by the don't ask,
don't tell clause.

609
00:35:05,804 --> 00:35:09,840
Lieutenant, that's already
been totally amended already.

610
00:35:09,842 --> 00:35:11,374
Ugh.

611
00:35:11,376 --> 00:35:13,877
Back to your bunker!

612
00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:20,350
I don't really care what
you have to say for yourself.

613
00:35:20,352 --> 00:35:23,320
You made me question
the validity of basic training.

614
00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:25,655
One of these days, I'm gonna
give you what you deserve.

615
00:35:25,657 --> 00:35:27,390
Really?
Are those even the lines?

616
00:35:27,392 --> 00:35:28,792
Shut up, soldier!

617
00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:31,795
You're a sorry excuse
for a human being!

618
00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:33,296
Scene!

619
00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:35,532
Whoo-hoo!

620
00:35:39,337 --> 00:35:41,338
Groups two and three?

621
00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:50,447
You have advanced
to Evan polus' class!

622
00:35:56,921 --> 00:35:58,622
Whoo!

623
00:35:58,624 --> 00:36:01,458
Drewy, we smashed it!

624
00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:03,193
Uccellini!

625
00:36:03,195 --> 00:36:05,562
Suckers!

626
00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:07,397
Tomorrow, 2:00.

627
00:36:07,399 --> 00:36:09,533
Everyone coming with me.

628
00:36:09,535 --> 00:36:11,668
Oh, I got work
in the morning.

629
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,203
Drew, are you sure?

630
00:36:19,243 --> 00:36:21,244
Positive.

631
00:36:21,246 --> 00:36:22,846
That's fine.

632
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,582
I'll just pick
something up for him.

633
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,250
Tout's presh.

634
00:36:27,252 --> 00:36:28,752
Ugh.

635
00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:30,187
Move.

636
00:36:30,189 --> 00:36:32,722
Uccellini!

637
00:36:36,694 --> 00:36:40,397
Okay, okay.
I'll tell them.

638
00:36:40,399 --> 00:36:44,534
- Adrian can't make it.
- Well, let's just go inside.

639
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:47,470
Honestly, I really don't
wanna wait for rubisio.

640
00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:50,740
We said that we would, rowe.
We have to wait for him.

641
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,911
Que se dice?
What's up, ladies?

642
00:36:54,913 --> 00:36:58,782
Anybody up for a little game
of two on one?

643
00:36:58,784 --> 00:37:02,319
Hi, rubisio.
You're looking nice today.

644
00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:03,520
Well, thank you, Hannah.

645
00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:05,355
You look mighty fine
yourself, woman.

646
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:07,591
Come on.
Let's go get our shop on.

647
00:37:07,593 --> 00:37:08,992
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

648
00:37:08,994 --> 00:37:11,528
I'm not giving
these little rats a dime.

649
00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,696
Rats?

650
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,331
How can you say no
to those girls?

651
00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:15,565
They're so precious.

652
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,734
They stand right outside
the entrance,

653
00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:19,903
pressuring everyone
with their hard sale tactics.

654
00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:21,471
Rubisio, they're kids.

655
00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:25,442
They are not employing tactics
to move cookies.

656
00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:28,812
Hello. Would you like to buy
some cookies for charity?

657
00:37:28,814 --> 00:37:30,780
Que se dice, little lady?

658
00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,749
We'd love to, but unfortunately
our friend here

659
00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:34,718
can't be within 100 feet
of children.

660
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,421
What? No, no, no, no.
That's not true.

661
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,591
- Tell her that's not true!
- It is true.

662
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:43,326
I'm so sorry.
That's not true at all.

663
00:37:43,328 --> 00:37:44,928
That's not cool at all!
What are you doing?

664
00:37:44,930 --> 00:37:46,997
Hey, shut up.
I saved you 7 bucks.

665
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:56,406
Where the fuck is chance?

666
00:37:57,675 --> 00:37:58,842
Chance!

667
00:38:04,582 --> 00:38:06,683
This place is gross.

668
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:08,985
Oh, that's not very nice.

669
00:38:08,987 --> 00:38:11,821
You know, you gotta stop
being such a bully.

670
00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:19,362
Waitress: You guys ready?

671
00:38:19,364 --> 00:38:24,401
Yeah. I'll take the bacon burger
with no lettuce.

672
00:38:24,403 --> 00:38:25,935
And your choice
of a house salad,

673
00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:28,405
regular or sweet potato fries.

674
00:38:28,407 --> 00:38:29,773
I'll take the house salad.

675
00:38:29,775 --> 00:38:31,808
Okay. And you?

676
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,810
Yes, I'm gonna enjoy
the Turkey burger

677
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,812
and Caesar salad, please.

678
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:39,516
Great, and I'm pretty sure
they're out of the grape soda,

679
00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:41,885
so is cola okay?

680
00:38:45,623 --> 00:38:46,656
Yeah, sure.

681
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:47,824
Okay.

682
00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:51,928
- Who said grape, drew?
- Chill.

683
00:38:51,930 --> 00:38:53,763
She probably got you confused
with somebody else.

684
00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:55,498
Chill? Look, man,

685
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,767
the day my skin color
does not dictate

686
00:38:57,769 --> 00:38:59,903
the fallacious assumptions
of ignorant individuals

687
00:38:59,905 --> 00:39:02,772
is the day
i will chill, brotha.

688
00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:04,974
That sounds like something
i heard last February.

689
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,043
Oh, now we're hating on
black history month, huh?

690
00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:09,979
All this over
a purple drink.

691
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:17,921
How many goddamn times
do I have to tell you

692
00:39:17,923 --> 00:39:21,925
we have an appointment to do
our headshots right fucking now?

693
00:39:21,927 --> 00:39:24,094
- I do not remember.
- What do you expect?

694
00:39:24,096 --> 00:39:27,797
Me to just float up
onto that horse, you fuckface?

695
00:39:27,799 --> 00:39:30,033
Get your ostrich ass
out of this thrift store

696
00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:32,802
and into the urine-filled
streets now!

697
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,973
If I hit something,
you're dead meat.

698
00:39:42,580 --> 00:39:44,848
Now, look, I don't care
how long this takes.

699
00:39:44,850 --> 00:39:47,851
You were late,
so now you're gonna pay.

700
00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:49,953
Now are you ready?

701
00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:51,955
Hold on.
Let me warm up.

702
00:39:57,461 --> 00:39:59,496
Yeah!

703
00:39:59,498 --> 00:40:01,631
Uh-huh.

704
00:40:01,633 --> 00:40:02,799
Uh-huh.

705
00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:07,737
- Okay.
- Why don't you check your lens?

706
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,639
Is it even working?

707
00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:10,640
Mm-hmm.

708
00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:12,475
We're done.

709
00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:14,077
- Why are we shopping here?
- I'm a struggling actor.

710
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,678
I can't afford anything else.

711
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,714
You're not an actor.
You're an idiot.

712
00:40:17,716 --> 00:40:19,449
Cool, I'm an idiot.

713
00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:21,885
Freeze, pervert!
Put your hands up in the air!

714
00:40:21,887 --> 00:40:24,020
- What did I do?
- Grab him, rookie.

715
00:40:24,022 --> 00:40:25,555
Oh, it's on now.
Come here!

716
00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:27,157
Oh, my god!
Why are you so big?

717
00:40:27,159 --> 00:40:30,794
- Ow! Ow!
- Shut up, you little pervert!

718
00:40:30,796 --> 00:40:32,162
I literally
didn't do anything!

719
00:40:32,164 --> 00:40:35,498
Tell them!
Tell them I didn't do anything!

720
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:37,000
Get your ass
up against this bike.

721
00:40:37,002 --> 00:40:40,570
You lie to us one more time,
and you will be tased!

722
00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:43,139
- I never lied.
- Put him on the ground, rookie!

723
00:40:43,141 --> 00:40:44,474
Absolutely.

724
00:40:44,476 --> 00:40:45,508
Yeah!

725
00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:47,177
You think it's funny?

726
00:40:47,179 --> 00:40:48,978
- No! No!
- You think it's funny?

727
00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,880
Do you think it's funny?

728
00:40:50,882 --> 00:40:52,515
Ow! You're too tight!

729
00:40:52,517 --> 00:40:54,951
Ow! It's too tight, sir!

730
00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:56,085
Too tight?
How 'bout this?

731
00:40:56,087 --> 00:41:00,123
Oh, my god! Ow!
Oh, my god!

732
00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,558
You think it's funny?

733
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,092
Enough, rookie!

734
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,461
Enough!

735
00:41:06,231 --> 00:41:08,465
Bacon burger with a salad.

736
00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:10,033
Thank you very much.

737
00:41:10,035 --> 00:41:12,035
Fried chicken, burnt pork
and sweet potato fries.

738
00:41:12,037 --> 00:41:13,870
Fried chicken?
I ordered a salad.

739
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,072
Oh. I thought you said
sweet potato--

740
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:18,041
salad.

741
00:41:18,043 --> 00:41:21,010
We don't have
sweet potato salad.

742
00:41:24,181 --> 00:41:27,917
Free at last,
my black ass.

743
00:41:27,919 --> 00:41:29,619
This is bullshit.

744
00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:30,854
Okay?

745
00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:34,157
You eat the chicken wing.

746
00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:37,026
Sir, I didn't even know
half fingers were included.

747
00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:38,995
Just like you didn't think
acting like a pedophile

748
00:41:38,997 --> 00:41:40,864
was against the law?

749
00:41:40,866 --> 00:41:43,633
- Sir, I didn't--
- you didn't? You didn't?

750
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,035
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, now you know, Mary.

751
00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:49,606
If I ever see you blink
in the direction of a child,

752
00:41:49,608 --> 00:41:51,207
you will be tased,
no questions asked.

753
00:41:51,209 --> 00:41:52,575
Are we clear, Mary?

754
00:41:52,577 --> 00:41:54,043
- Mary?
- Are we clear?

755
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:55,778
Yes, sir.

756
00:41:58,282 --> 00:42:01,084
Now get out of my face,

757
00:42:01,086 --> 00:42:04,721
and get out
of the shopping center.

758
00:42:04,723 --> 00:42:08,091
God! What the fuck?
What the fuck? Oh, my god!

759
00:42:08,093 --> 00:42:09,859
You did good, rookie.

760
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:12,862
You made him run
like a little bitch.

761
00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:22,805
- Hey, you.
- Hannah, hey.

762
00:42:22,807 --> 00:42:25,675
I got you
two medium shirts,

763
00:42:25,677 --> 00:42:27,277
one blue and one purple.

764
00:42:27,279 --> 00:42:31,714
I figured they'd look
good on you. I...

765
00:42:33,684 --> 00:42:36,252
I hope you like them.

766
00:42:36,254 --> 00:42:38,121
Oh, uh, thank you.

767
00:42:38,123 --> 00:42:40,857
Oh, my gosh,
you didn't have to do that.

768
00:42:40,859 --> 00:42:42,759
- Wow. These are nice.
- Yeah.

769
00:42:42,761 --> 00:42:44,627
Um, can you just...

770
00:42:44,629 --> 00:42:46,930
Oh. Yeah.

771
00:42:46,932 --> 00:42:48,898
- There you go.
- Thank you.

772
00:42:50,701 --> 00:42:52,569
So how did...

773
00:42:52,571 --> 00:42:53,803
Oh, um...

774
00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:55,805
My aunt has an equestrian farm,

775
00:42:55,807 --> 00:42:59,642
and one day
i was practicing...

776
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:04,747
My uncle's tractor backfired
and spooked the horse.

777
00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:06,182
Wow.

778
00:43:06,184 --> 00:43:09,218
I fell and, um...

779
00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:13,122
I pretty much lost the sensation
in the right side of my body.

780
00:43:13,124 --> 00:43:17,060
I get pissed off
when my leg falls asleep, huh?

781
00:43:18,996 --> 00:43:20,730
That's not what I meant.
I'm sorry.

782
00:43:20,732 --> 00:43:23,199
- I'm so sorry that happened.
- No, it's okay.

783
00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:25,735
What about you, drew Thomas?

784
00:43:25,737 --> 00:43:28,338
I finished law school
last spring.

785
00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:29,839
You're a lawyer?

786
00:43:29,841 --> 00:43:31,841
Well, uh, not exactly.

787
00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:35,178
I'm a minimum wage telemarketer
until I can pass the bar.

788
00:43:35,180 --> 00:43:38,114
Then what are you doing
at starmaker academy?

789
00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:52,261
Thank you for calling
grove your Booty,

790
00:43:52,263 --> 00:43:54,163
revolutionary backside workout

791
00:43:54,165 --> 00:43:55,999
paired with all your
favorite groovy tunes.

792
00:43:56,001 --> 00:43:59,636
Yeah, is this the machine
for to make my ass so fly?

793
00:43:59,638 --> 00:44:02,672
Yes, and for calling right now
it can also--

794
00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:04,407
<i> you know if it works or not?</i>

795
00:44:04,409 --> 00:44:09,712
'Cause like I used to have
a Jennifer Lopez ass.

796
00:44:09,714 --> 00:44:15,685
I could shake it like, you know,
Shakira on crack, you dig?

797
00:44:15,687 --> 00:44:20,423
<i> Fools used to get all sprung</i>
<i> when I walked by, you dig?</i>

798
00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,859
We here at groovy Booty
promise results

799
00:44:22,861 --> 00:44:25,094
in just 15 minutes a day
for 30 days.

800
00:44:25,096 --> 00:44:27,997
No! Get out.
For real though?

801
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:30,433
Yeah, yeah for real.
Money-back guarantee.

802
00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:32,135
Before you know it,

803
00:44:32,137 --> 00:44:34,003
your husband will be
getting all sprung again.

804
00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:36,673
<i> Who said nothing</i>
<i> 'bout no husband?</i>

805
00:44:36,675 --> 00:44:40,176
<i> Now let me tell you something,</i>
<i> silver spoon boy.</i>

806
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:42,145
We ain't all chillin',
eating caviar,

807
00:44:42,147 --> 00:44:43,713
<i> drinking red Merlot.</i>

808
00:44:43,715 --> 00:44:45,148
You dig?

809
00:44:45,150 --> 00:44:47,850
I said you dig?

810
00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:50,720
Yes, ma'am.

811
00:44:50,722 --> 00:44:52,955
What I get for free?

812
00:44:56,326 --> 00:45:01,464
You all walked in here
below average at best.

813
00:45:01,466 --> 00:45:03,232
But let me tell you,

814
00:45:03,234 --> 00:45:05,234
by the time
I'm finished with you,

815
00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:07,804
you'll have seen more
red carpet

816
00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:09,806
than the streets
have seen urine.

817
00:45:09,808 --> 00:45:14,444
Now, to my new students,

818
00:45:14,446 --> 00:45:16,779
it's simple.

819
00:45:16,781 --> 00:45:19,315
You just do exactly
what I tell you to do

820
00:45:19,317 --> 00:45:22,752
and how I tell you to do it.

821
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:27,290
Okay, let's just take it up a
notch, have a bit of fun here.

822
00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:29,358
Who can we get?
Nikki, why don't you come up?

823
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,359
Give me that.

824
00:45:32,362 --> 00:45:35,298
You have just returned
from the war.

825
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:40,036
While you were in combat,
you stumbled on a land mine.

826
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:43,072
It exploded,
killing three in your infantry,

827
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,174
but luckily, you survived,

828
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:48,311
but not before it blew off
both your legs, all right?

829
00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,345
Take that.

830
00:45:59,890 --> 00:46:02,759
You're a war hero, Nikki.

831
00:46:02,761 --> 00:46:05,928
But your fiancé,
he can't stand the sight of you.

832
00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:07,930
He's told you
that he doesn't love you

833
00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:09,766
without your beautiful feet

834
00:46:09,768 --> 00:46:12,001
and your pretty little
tippy toes.

835
00:46:12,003 --> 00:46:14,103
You are devastated.

836
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:17,540
He's gonna leave you, Nikki,
so talk to him.

837
00:46:17,542 --> 00:46:19,809
Now, whenever you're ready.

838
00:46:26,483 --> 00:46:28,184
Why?

839
00:46:28,186 --> 00:46:30,953
Oh, Tommy, why?

840
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:35,291
I loved you, and not just for
your hair or your eyes.

841
00:46:35,293 --> 00:46:37,260
I loved all of you!

842
00:46:37,262 --> 00:46:41,964
And what, because I don't have
regular feet or ankles or knees,

843
00:46:41,966 --> 00:46:43,800
you're leaving me?

844
00:46:46,004 --> 00:46:48,371
See, look at this.
See, you see this?

845
00:46:48,373 --> 00:46:50,139
Now, this is,
this is beautiful.

846
00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:52,575
This is fant--
you're blowing me away, baby.

847
00:46:52,577 --> 00:46:54,377
Nikki, you're blowing
everybody away.

848
00:46:54,379 --> 00:46:57,847
Stay in the moment, darling,
stay in the moment.

849
00:46:59,350 --> 00:47:01,818
I loved you!

850
00:47:01,820 --> 00:47:05,454
- You are so fucking beautiful.
- Thank you.

851
00:47:08,992 --> 00:47:12,128
What the-- Rachel!
What the fuck is going on here?

852
00:47:12,130 --> 00:47:15,398
- It's not like that at all.
- It's not what you think.

853
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,367
What do you mean?
It's exactly what I think!

854
00:47:18,369 --> 00:47:21,103
You guys--
you're my sister! Rachel!

855
00:47:21,105 --> 00:47:23,206
What the--
you told me you loved me!

856
00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:25,575
You said you loved me!
Are you serious?

857
00:47:25,577 --> 00:47:28,177
That's disgusting!
Why would you do that to me?

858
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:32,114
I fucking hate my life!
Honestly! Fuck you!

859
00:47:36,221 --> 00:47:40,223
Hey, fuck nuts, get up there,
sit next to your fiancé,

860
00:47:40,225 --> 00:47:43,492
who you so haphazardly
kicked to the curb.

861
00:47:43,494 --> 00:47:46,028
Go on! Get up there.

862
00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:48,998
Tell her why you can't
stand the sight of her.

863
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,434
Beautiful, darling, beautiful.

864
00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:55,004
Why? Tell me why!

865
00:47:57,474 --> 00:47:59,008
Oh, you wimp.

866
00:48:00,611 --> 00:48:02,612
Uh, it's--

867
00:48:02,614 --> 00:48:06,349
it's not that I don't
love you, baby.

868
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:08,951
It's just,
i live on the beach.

869
00:48:08,953 --> 00:48:11,454
What does that have to do
with you leaving me,

870
00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:13,022
you selfish bastard?

871
00:48:13,024 --> 00:48:14,891
What, now that you live
on the beach,

872
00:48:14,893 --> 00:48:17,026
I'm not good enough
for your beach friends?

873
00:48:19,463 --> 00:48:22,999
No. I mean,
it's just all the sand.

874
00:48:23,001 --> 00:48:25,001
I'm not strong enough
to push the wheelchair.

875
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:27,637
I'm but a 110 pounds is all.

876
00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:32,108
Do you think this is good,
newbie?

877
00:48:32,110 --> 00:48:34,210
I don't know. I'm trying.

878
00:48:34,212 --> 00:48:35,678
Well, it's fucking terrible.

879
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,047
Take him outside.
Warm his ass up.

880
00:48:40,183 --> 00:48:41,550
Oh, shit.

881
00:48:47,090 --> 00:48:50,092
Okay, so how does this work?
What are you gonna do?

882
00:48:50,094 --> 00:48:52,194
What the fuck? Ow!

883
00:48:52,196 --> 00:48:54,931
Come on, dude! It's too tight!
Ouch! I can't breathe!

884
00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:58,668
Get off me!
Get the fuck--

885
00:49:04,141 --> 00:49:06,676
I'm not dumping you
because you lost your legs.

886
00:49:06,678 --> 00:49:09,412
I'm leaving you because you've
been sleeping with my sister,

887
00:49:09,414 --> 00:49:11,047
you unfaithful whore!

888
00:49:11,049 --> 00:49:12,548
Here we go.

889
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:14,383
You don't think I saw you
with her in the garage?

890
00:49:14,385 --> 00:49:16,218
I was in love with you.

891
00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:18,654
I was gonna take off this purity
ring and become one with you.

892
00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,122
But no! You betrayed me!

893
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:22,124
Selfish bitch.

894
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:23,526
That never happened.

895
00:49:23,528 --> 00:49:26,162
Shut your mouth, Rachel!
This is my turn!

896
00:49:26,164 --> 00:49:28,531
Unleash the beast,
you son of a bitch!

897
00:49:28,533 --> 00:49:29,632
Time to kill!

898
00:49:34,539 --> 00:49:37,340
The doctor said
you lost both your legs,

899
00:49:37,342 --> 00:49:40,242
but he forgot to mention
the most important part of you

900
00:49:40,244 --> 00:49:42,478
lost forever.

901
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,380
Your heart!

902
00:49:53,557 --> 00:49:54,557
Scene.

903
00:49:54,559 --> 00:49:57,660
Beautiful. Beautiful!

904
00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,129
You see, everyone?
You noticed that?

905
00:50:00,131 --> 00:50:03,566
I eliminated his fear
and allowed the adrenaline

906
00:50:03,568 --> 00:50:07,770
to unleash the brilliant
acting beast inside of him.

907
00:50:07,772 --> 00:50:09,538
Nobody can teach this.

908
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:11,574
Of course
that's why you're here.

909
00:50:11,576 --> 00:50:14,510
You're not gonna make it
in this business without me.

910
00:50:14,512 --> 00:50:17,680
You really blew me away.

911
00:50:19,282 --> 00:50:21,083
Guys, hush, please, for a sec.

912
00:50:21,085 --> 00:50:22,518
I'd just like to say,

913
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,388
rowe, what you had tonight
was a breakthrough.

914
00:50:25,390 --> 00:50:28,057
Thanks, guys.

915
00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:30,493
Here's to everybody shutting up
already and drinking.

916
00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:32,161
Salud, bitches!

917
00:50:32,163 --> 00:50:35,197
Wait, wait, wait.
Before we all cheers this shit,

918
00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:38,267
when we all become stars,
what are you guys gonna do?

919
00:50:38,269 --> 00:50:41,570
I think I'll go to Milan,
start my own boutique.

920
00:50:41,572 --> 00:50:45,074
I guess I'm next.
Here's what I'm gonna do.

921
00:50:45,076 --> 00:50:46,742
I'm gonna play the field
for a while,

922
00:50:46,744 --> 00:50:48,511
and then once I hit it big,

923
00:50:48,513 --> 00:50:51,814
I'm gonna get Lulu back
'cause she's my rock.

924
00:50:51,816 --> 00:50:55,084
Check this out.
I'm gonna buy a clydesdale

925
00:50:55,086 --> 00:50:59,255
and ride that bitch
across the rockies.

926
00:50:59,257 --> 00:51:01,290
How 'bout you, Hannah?

927
00:51:01,292 --> 00:51:06,162
What I'd really like is to find
a guy that would love me for me.

928
00:51:06,164 --> 00:51:09,131
One day you're gonna
find that guy, and when you do,

929
00:51:09,133 --> 00:51:11,600
he's going to be
the luckiest guy in the world.

930
00:51:11,602 --> 00:51:13,436
That's a promise,
hotty-potatty.

931
00:51:13,438 --> 00:51:14,837
Ugh!

932
00:51:14,839 --> 00:51:17,440
Please, can we just toast
before we puke?

933
00:51:17,442 --> 00:51:19,475
Idiot.

934
00:51:19,477 --> 00:51:21,343
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

935
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:41,363
Your hair is like,
it's like blonde silk, you know?

936
00:51:41,365 --> 00:51:44,767
It's like so smooth
like water,

937
00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:47,703
like cascading over the...

938
00:51:47,705 --> 00:51:50,673
Oh, my god,
it smells like heaven.

939
00:51:50,675 --> 00:51:52,808
Nikki.

940
00:51:52,810 --> 00:51:56,145
Oh, look.
Creeper boy is back.

941
00:51:56,147 --> 00:51:59,782
Lucky for you,
i gotta go potty.

942
00:52:05,522 --> 00:52:08,791
Naked pictures, huh?

943
00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:11,227
Same face, different body.
Really?

944
00:52:11,229 --> 00:52:13,829
It's not me.

945
00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:17,433
So I could just go online,
check 'em out.

946
00:52:17,435 --> 00:52:19,668
Oh, is that how you look
at naked girls?

947
00:52:19,670 --> 00:52:21,770
You go on the Internet?

948
00:52:21,772 --> 00:52:23,906
Damn, you got me.

949
00:52:23,908 --> 00:52:29,545
How could a little boy like you
deal with a woman like me?

950
00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:33,415
Que se dice, my Nikki?

951
00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:35,417
You up for a little game
of two on one?

952
00:52:35,419 --> 00:52:37,553
Rubisio.

953
00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:38,721
Hey, drew?

954
00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:41,524
What?

955
00:52:41,526 --> 00:52:43,559
Go fuck yourself.

956
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:50,266
I'm gonna tell you what's
gonna happen here, Nikki.

957
00:52:50,268 --> 00:52:52,501
What's gonna happen here, drew?

958
00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:54,403
We're gonna take these shots,

959
00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:55,871
and we're gonna
go back to my house.

960
00:52:55,873 --> 00:52:58,307
How do you know
i even like you like that?

961
00:52:58,309 --> 00:53:01,243
Whoa! Who said anything
about liking anybody?

962
00:53:01,245 --> 00:53:03,412
Maybe I just wanna
run a scene with you.

963
00:53:03,414 --> 00:53:06,916
Oh, yeah? What kind of scene
is that, drew-hoo?

964
00:53:24,635 --> 00:53:26,869
Think that hurt you?
You have no idea.

965
00:53:38,949 --> 00:53:40,649
Take this off.

966
00:54:20,890 --> 00:54:22,524
Company policy clearly states

967
00:54:22,526 --> 00:54:24,693
no more than three inches
above the knee.

968
00:54:24,695 --> 00:54:26,629
You, young lady,
have no excuse

969
00:54:26,631 --> 00:54:28,397
because I suspect
you are quite experienced

970
00:54:28,399 --> 00:54:30,499
in measuring things
by the inch.

971
00:54:30,501 --> 00:54:32,368
Get out.

972
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:45,814
Oh, shit.

973
00:54:54,392 --> 00:54:56,725
Deboard.

974
00:54:56,727 --> 00:54:58,594
Rrrrr...

975
00:54:58,596 --> 00:55:00,796
Choo-choo.

976
00:55:00,798 --> 00:55:03,365
You wanted to see me, Kathy?

977
00:55:04,735 --> 00:55:08,337
Do you know why we have
a schedule here, drew?

978
00:55:08,339 --> 00:55:09,938
I believe so.

979
00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:11,940
I don't think you do

980
00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:14,843
because if you did, you'd show
up to work every day on time,

981
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:18,380
just like all those other
little worker bees out there.

982
00:55:18,382 --> 00:55:20,416
Sorry, Kathy,
it won't happen again.

983
00:55:20,418 --> 00:55:24,620
You're right, it won't because
this is your final warning.

984
00:55:24,622 --> 00:55:26,955
After that,
you'll be out on the streets,

985
00:55:26,957 --> 00:55:30,559
probably turning tricks
just to pay your rent.

986
00:55:30,561 --> 00:55:34,096
Do you know what it's like
to sell your body for sex, drew?

987
00:55:34,098 --> 00:55:35,664
Pants around your ankles

988
00:55:35,666 --> 00:55:39,902
in a dirty bathroom
somewhere downtown.

989
00:55:39,904 --> 00:55:42,871
In this economy, you'll be lucky
to get 20 bucks a blow.

990
00:55:46,810 --> 00:55:49,511
You know what?
I quit.

991
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:52,014
You know what? I quit.

992
00:55:55,552 --> 00:55:56,719
I'm taking this!

993
00:56:00,890 --> 00:56:02,458
Psycho!

994
00:56:04,728 --> 00:56:06,762
You wanna be a star,
you dumb fuck,

995
00:56:06,764 --> 00:56:08,130
then answer my calls.

996
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:09,965
Oh, I know what you're doing.

997
00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:11,667
I know you're
on your set, right?

998
00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:13,769
Making your fucking movie.

999
00:56:13,771 --> 00:56:16,805
You get your pampered-wearing
ass back to class,

1000
00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:18,807
or I'm gonna toss you into
the urine-filled streets

1001
00:56:18,809 --> 00:56:20,109
for the last time.

1002
00:56:26,784 --> 00:56:28,784
Oh, yeah! Can you breathe?

1003
00:56:28,786 --> 00:56:30,552
- Yeah, I can breathe.
- Oh, no, no.

1004
00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:32,521
Now! Can you breathe now?

1005
00:56:32,523 --> 00:56:34,957
- Yeah, I can still breathe.
- I bet you can't. You're lying.

1006
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:38,026
You little bitch.
You like being my bitch?

1007
00:56:38,028 --> 00:56:39,895
No, I don't.

1008
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:42,064
You don't like being my bitch?
How about an ear?

1009
00:56:42,066 --> 00:56:45,934
You like that, motherfucker?
You like that?

1010
00:56:45,936 --> 00:56:47,469
- You like that?
- Ow.

1011
00:56:47,471 --> 00:56:48,771
- You like that?
- Stop.

1012
00:56:48,773 --> 00:56:50,773
Yeah? You warm yet,
you little bitch?

1013
00:56:50,775 --> 00:56:52,107
I'm warm, I'm warm!

1014
00:56:52,109 --> 00:56:54,109
Go and unleash your beast,
motherfucker.

1015
00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:06,722
Hey, drew.

1016
00:57:06,724 --> 00:57:09,558
- What?
- Go fuck yourself.

1017
00:57:14,732 --> 00:57:18,634
Rose, you must
do me this honor.

1018
00:57:18,636 --> 00:57:21,136
You must do me this honor.

1019
00:57:21,138 --> 00:57:23,071
No matter what happens,

1020
00:57:23,073 --> 00:57:25,707
you have to promise me
to survive.

1021
00:57:29,145 --> 00:57:34,149
How hopeless you may be,

1022
00:57:34,151 --> 00:57:37,920
you have to promise
you'll hold onto that promise.

1023
00:57:37,922 --> 00:57:42,024
I promise. I promise.

1024
00:57:42,026 --> 00:57:44,760
Never let go.

1025
00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:46,962
Never let go.

1026
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:50,466
I'll never let go, Jack.

1027
00:57:50,468 --> 00:57:52,501
I'll never let go.

1028
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:01,143
Ah, you see that, folks?
Did you see that?

1029
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:04,813
That is a big, dark
academy award-winning cloud,

1030
00:58:04,815 --> 00:58:07,683
looming right there
over their heads.

1031
00:58:07,685 --> 00:58:09,117
Well, get your umbrellas out.

1032
00:58:09,119 --> 00:58:11,687
It's about to rain
a fucking Oscar!

1033
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:15,123
All right! Scene! Yes!

1034
00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,558
Beautiful.

1035
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:21,230
All right, guys, well,
everyone...

1036
00:58:21,232 --> 00:58:23,532
Important announcement.

1037
00:58:23,534 --> 00:58:25,501
Showcase is in one week.

1038
00:58:25,503 --> 00:58:28,136
This is a million-dollar
opportunity.

1039
00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:31,173
I want you all to contribute
to each other's success,

1040
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,242
help each other,
get behind each other,

1041
00:58:33,244 --> 00:58:35,110
root for each other.

1042
00:58:35,112 --> 00:58:37,279
I want you to tell
all your friends and family.

1043
00:58:37,281 --> 00:58:39,982
I want to pack this place
to the rafters.

1044
00:58:39,984 --> 00:58:42,718
I wanna really
get the adrenaline flowing.

1045
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:46,121
I want it to be really fantastic
for you guys.

1046
00:58:46,123 --> 00:58:49,658
So I want you all
to bring in $50 tomorrow

1047
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:53,529
to help offset my cost
for the showcase, okay?

1048
00:58:53,531 --> 00:58:57,733
Sir, $50 is a lot of money
for me to spend right now.

1049
00:58:59,269 --> 00:59:00,702
What?

1050
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:03,772
Sorry, did I hear that right?

1051
00:59:03,774 --> 00:59:07,276
So you're gonna throw away your
whole career, worth millions,

1052
00:59:07,278 --> 00:59:09,611
for a measly $50?

1053
00:59:09,613 --> 00:59:11,647
Is that what you're telling
all the class here?

1054
00:59:11,649 --> 00:59:12,948
You wanna quit?

1055
00:59:12,950 --> 00:59:15,250
No, sir, that's not
what I meant.

1056
00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:21,156
You know, I've given up
millions of dollars as an actor.

1057
00:59:21,158 --> 00:59:25,227
I've suffered through
four very painful divorces

1058
00:59:25,229 --> 00:59:27,296
for your ungrateful asses.

1059
00:59:27,298 --> 00:59:30,265
You know, I was offered
the lead in<i> amadeus.</i>

1060
00:59:30,267 --> 00:59:31,967
All right, it was the tour.

1061
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:35,604
I turned it down for my students
because I love them!

1062
00:59:35,606 --> 00:59:37,339
And what do you do?

1063
00:59:37,341 --> 00:59:41,677
You kick me right in the teeth
for 50 fucking dollars!

1064
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:45,681
Like your character, rose,

1065
00:59:45,683 --> 00:59:48,050
as you were doing it
moments ago,

1066
00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:50,986
when you were promising
your young toy boy,

1067
00:59:50,988 --> 00:59:52,888
"oh, I'll never let you go!
Woo hoo hoo!

1068
00:59:52,890 --> 00:59:56,792
I'll never let you go!
Never let you go!" What?

1069
00:59:56,794 --> 01:00:01,997
Then the bitch lets him go
to the fucking ocean floor!

1070
01:00:01,999 --> 01:00:03,899
Uh, uh...

1071
01:00:03,901 --> 01:00:08,704
Grammy no gonna give no money.
No piggy bank, no.

1072
01:00:08,706 --> 01:00:10,739
Jesus, take a knife.

1073
01:00:13,009 --> 01:00:14,209
Yes.

1074
01:00:14,211 --> 01:00:16,745
Besides our scene
and the money,

1075
01:00:16,747 --> 01:00:21,283
is there anything else
we need to, you know, prepare?

1076
01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:24,653
Thank you for asking
an intelligent question.

1077
01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:25,954
Yes.

1078
01:00:25,956 --> 01:00:31,093
You need to find
the beast inside you,

1079
01:00:31,095 --> 01:00:34,830
and you need to
unleash the hell out of it.

1080
01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:38,734
You see, this is your one chance
to take Hollywood by storm,

1081
01:00:38,736 --> 01:00:41,103
so I want you to get
all your shit together,

1082
01:00:41,105 --> 01:00:45,040
and I want you to really
blow these people away!

1083
01:00:45,042 --> 01:00:47,242
I want you
to blow everyone away.

1084
01:00:47,244 --> 01:00:51,046
Come on, people,
unleash your beast!

1085
01:00:54,685 --> 01:00:56,885
There! That's it!
That's brilliant!

1086
01:00:56,887 --> 01:00:59,121
He's the king!

1087
01:00:59,123 --> 01:01:02,157
You have just earned yourself
a lead in the showcase.

1088
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:04,793
Whoo! Uccellini!

1089
01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:07,362
He is now your king!
He's in charge!

1090
01:01:07,364 --> 01:01:10,732
Evan is outta here!

1091
01:01:13,302 --> 01:01:14,836
I'm in charge,

1092
01:01:14,838 --> 01:01:16,805
which basically means
I'm the boss.

1093
01:01:16,807 --> 01:01:19,675
We'll be meeting here
tomorrow at 7:00, capisce?

1094
01:01:19,677 --> 01:01:21,076
How about we all decide

1095
01:01:21,078 --> 01:01:23,145
what time is best for
the class, fuckface?

1096
01:01:23,147 --> 01:01:24,880
Hey, it's been decided.

1097
01:01:24,882 --> 01:01:26,815
Be here at 7:00,
or your little ass

1098
01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:29,718
is out of the showcase and
into the urine-filled streets.

1099
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,086
Capisce?

1100
01:01:33,790 --> 01:01:35,357
Evan: Yeah, come in.

1101
01:01:36,859 --> 01:01:40,028
Sir, I have a concern

1102
01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:42,397
burning in my bosom.

1103
01:01:42,399 --> 01:01:45,467
Oh. Well, I have a concern

1104
01:01:45,469 --> 01:01:48,103
that you're just
one thrust away

1105
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,338
from throwing out every disc
in your lower back,

1106
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:54,009
but I'm don't come barging
into your office, now, do I?

1107
01:01:54,011 --> 01:01:56,311
They've had less than
one month of training.

1108
01:01:56,313 --> 01:01:58,480
Don't you think
it's a little early for them

1109
01:01:58,482 --> 01:02:01,750
to be exposed
to producers and agents?

1110
01:02:01,752 --> 01:02:04,119
For Pete's sake.
What, their careers?

1111
01:02:04,121 --> 01:02:06,088
I'm dealing with,
what, autism

1112
01:02:06,090 --> 01:02:09,057
and 80-year-olds
drooling on my carpet.

1113
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:11,059
We've got degenerates here.

1114
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,494
They're not degenerates.

1115
01:02:12,496 --> 01:02:14,496
They're individuals
with hopes and dreams

1116
01:02:14,498 --> 01:02:16,465
just like everyone else.

1117
01:02:16,467 --> 01:02:19,301
I've even got one that can't
manipulate 50% of her body.

1118
01:02:19,303 --> 01:02:21,303
Her name is Hannah.

1119
01:02:21,305 --> 01:02:24,106
And she's beautiful
and talented.

1120
01:02:24,108 --> 01:02:26,141
So you tell that to the director
of<i> horse whisperer ii </i>

1121
01:02:26,143 --> 01:02:27,843
when he calls to say,

1122
01:02:27,845 --> 01:02:29,945
"Hannah couldn't hold the reins
of the stunt horse

1123
01:02:29,947 --> 01:02:31,513
with one hand."

1124
01:02:31,515 --> 01:02:34,816
Do you really think
that's gonna help her career?

1125
01:02:34,818 --> 01:02:36,752
- Well, do you?
- Evan!

1126
01:02:36,754 --> 01:02:39,988
I don't know what you're saying.
Frankly, I don't care.

1127
01:02:39,990 --> 01:02:41,490
This is a very nice scotch.

1128
01:02:41,492 --> 01:02:43,859
I'm sitting here
enjoying myself,

1129
01:02:43,861 --> 01:02:46,795
so why don't you
take your little cushion

1130
01:02:46,797 --> 01:02:48,797
and ram it up your ass?

1131
01:02:50,233 --> 01:02:51,967
Yes! I got the part
of the queen.

1132
01:02:51,969 --> 01:02:53,969
- That's the lead part.
- Congratulations.

1133
01:02:53,971 --> 01:02:55,370
Thank you.

1134
01:02:55,372 --> 01:02:57,773
Looks like I got the old
knight in shining armor.

1135
01:02:57,775 --> 01:02:58,907
Oh, cool.

1136
01:02:58,909 --> 01:03:01,476
Que se dice,
my lovely Nikki?

1137
01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:03,211
Since you're playing the queen,

1138
01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:05,514
you'll have more lines with me
than anyone else.

1139
01:03:05,516 --> 01:03:06,982
Really? Why is that?

1140
01:03:06,984 --> 01:03:09,017
I don't know, Juliet.

1141
01:03:09,019 --> 01:03:11,186
Who do you think would be
the logical philigistic

1142
01:03:11,188 --> 01:03:14,356
for the queen
to have conversilagism?

1143
01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:17,359
- That's not even a word.
- A king.

1144
01:03:17,361 --> 01:03:20,061
Well, I'm a knight
in shining armor,

1145
01:03:20,063 --> 01:03:21,429
and I'd take that any day

1146
01:03:21,431 --> 01:03:24,499
over being an ignorant,
uneducated, lazy king.

1147
01:03:24,501 --> 01:03:26,368
Oh, my god, guys, please.

1148
01:03:26,370 --> 01:03:28,270
That's perfect.

1149
01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:30,906
Then why don't you make like the
cute little knight that you are

1150
01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:33,375
and find something to do
with your time, my brotha?

1151
01:03:33,377 --> 01:03:35,977
Because the king and the queen
have a lot of work to do.

1152
01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:37,879
Come on, Nikki.

1153
01:03:40,316 --> 01:03:43,185
Uccellini!

1154
01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:44,486
Motherfucker.

1155
01:03:44,488 --> 01:03:47,255
- Hey.
- Hey, Hannah.

1156
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:48,957
- You did a great job tonight.
- Thanks.

1157
01:03:48,959 --> 01:03:51,092
I'll catch up with you
later, okay?

1158
01:03:51,094 --> 01:03:52,227
Are you okay, drew?

1159
01:03:52,229 --> 01:03:54,129
Yup. Top of the world.

1160
01:04:02,605 --> 01:04:04,406
En garde!

1161
01:04:04,408 --> 01:04:05,841
Not today, hansel.

1162
01:04:13,416 --> 01:04:15,483
The lover's identity
has been resurrected.

1163
01:04:19,255 --> 01:04:21,356
Where'd you get Nikki's ID?

1164
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:31,867
She's probably gonna need this.

1165
01:04:31,869 --> 01:04:34,469
I should probably
take it back to her, right?

1166
01:04:39,108 --> 01:04:41,509
Rubisio: Ooh, yeah.

1167
01:04:41,511 --> 01:04:43,411
Oh! Now your ass
a little bit.

1168
01:04:43,413 --> 01:04:45,447
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

1169
01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:48,416
Now look at me
and say, "uccellini."

1170
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:51,486
Uccellini.

1171
01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:53,588
God, you're so good.

1172
01:04:53,590 --> 01:04:57,092
Oh, baby, put your leg up
on the couch right there.

1173
01:04:57,094 --> 01:04:59,561
Oh, yeah.

1174
01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:01,663
Oh, yeah.

1175
01:05:01,665 --> 01:05:03,331
Ooh.

1176
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,200
Damn, that looks good.

1177
01:05:05,202 --> 01:05:08,336
Oh! Move the robe
a little bit.

1178
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:09,471
Why?

1179
01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:11,606
What?

1180
01:05:11,608 --> 01:05:13,408
Just move the robe.

1181
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:15,911
Yeah. Ooh.
The shoulder, I like it.

1182
01:05:19,949 --> 01:05:21,216
Hey, people.

1183
01:05:21,218 --> 01:05:22,484
People.

1184
01:05:22,486 --> 01:05:24,419
Hey! Shut up!

1185
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,388
The director's talking.

1186
01:05:26,390 --> 01:05:28,323
Shouldn't we wait for Nikki
to get here?

1187
01:05:28,325 --> 01:05:30,926
Nikki's gonna be
a little late.

1188
01:05:30,928 --> 01:05:34,262
Really?
Why is that, rubisio?

1189
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:37,132
Sorry. Hi. What's up?

1190
01:05:38,634 --> 01:05:41,503
I don't know, Nikki.
Why don't you tell me?

1191
01:05:41,505 --> 01:05:43,305
I thought you weren't
that type of girl.

1192
01:05:46,142 --> 01:05:48,376
I can't do this.
I'm done.

1193
01:05:48,378 --> 01:05:50,545
Hey, where you going?

1194
01:05:50,547 --> 01:05:53,949
Drew, don't bail on us.
We need you.

1195
01:05:53,951 --> 01:05:55,617
Yeah, I thought we were
all in this together.

1196
01:05:55,619 --> 01:05:56,618
Where you going?

1197
01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:04,259
Okay. The only reason I joined
this class is to bang her.

1198
01:06:04,261 --> 01:06:05,327
Apparently, she's a whore.

1199
01:06:05,329 --> 01:06:06,995
For the rest of you,

1200
01:06:06,997 --> 01:06:09,531
granny, what are you,
90 years old?

1201
01:06:09,533 --> 01:06:10,966
Wake up.

1202
01:06:10,968 --> 01:06:12,334
And you?

1203
01:06:12,336 --> 01:06:14,369
You can barely
complete a sentence.

1204
01:06:14,371 --> 01:06:16,738
Talking to you is like
dealing with a crack baby.

1205
01:06:16,740 --> 01:06:18,740
I don't wanna say
not no drugs.

1206
01:06:18,742 --> 01:06:20,742
And what,
a fashion designer and a geek

1207
01:06:20,744 --> 01:06:23,211
take over
the entertainment business?

1208
01:06:23,213 --> 01:06:25,447
And you, little guy,

1209
01:06:25,449 --> 01:06:27,449
I don't know
if you got the memo,

1210
01:06:27,451 --> 01:06:29,451
but they already
shot the movie<i> Willow.</i>

1211
01:06:29,453 --> 01:06:31,720
Yeah. You're about
20 years too late.

1212
01:06:31,722 --> 01:06:34,456
You might wanna see if Santa's
still hiring for the season.

1213
01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:35,557
Check that out.

1214
01:06:35,559 --> 01:06:37,459
Oh, with your pterodactyl arms--

1215
01:06:37,461 --> 01:06:38,626
uhh, uhh--

1216
01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:40,996
who's my bitch now?

1217
01:06:40,998 --> 01:06:42,564
- Hey, drew?
- What?

1218
01:06:42,566 --> 01:06:44,366
Go fuck yourself.

1219
01:06:44,368 --> 01:06:47,035
Starmaker academy's a joke.

1220
01:06:47,037 --> 01:06:49,170
We're all bigger jokes
for being here.

1221
01:06:51,607 --> 01:06:54,409
Oh, and everybody knows
you're not Italian.

1222
01:06:54,411 --> 01:06:57,012
Yes, I am.

1223
01:06:57,014 --> 01:06:59,414
I am Italian. Nikki?

1224
01:06:59,416 --> 01:07:00,582
Give it up.

1225
01:07:07,556 --> 01:07:10,592
Guys, what the fuck
is wrong with...

1226
01:07:15,064 --> 01:07:17,599
Sounds like that little Betty
did you dirty, bro.

1227
01:07:17,601 --> 01:07:21,403
Another dude
in the same week, huh?

1228
01:07:21,405 --> 01:07:23,138
That's why I hit and quit.

1229
01:07:23,140 --> 01:07:25,473
No emotions involved,
my friend.

1230
01:07:25,475 --> 01:07:27,509
Hey, can I get you
something to drink?

1231
01:07:27,511 --> 01:07:28,743
Oh, shit.

1232
01:07:28,745 --> 01:07:32,047
You again, huh?
Well, yes.

1233
01:07:32,049 --> 01:07:34,416
I'll have
a cabernet sauvignon.

1234
01:07:34,418 --> 01:07:37,318
- Vodka, please, double.
- Okay.

1235
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:39,220
You know, Nate,
it'd be one thing

1236
01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:41,089
if she hooked up
with another guy.

1237
01:07:41,091 --> 01:07:44,259
Ohh! Rubisio?
He's just so gross. Ugh!

1238
01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:47,128
Hey, look, I knew it.
I got the gift, my friend.

1239
01:07:47,130 --> 01:07:48,196
The gift?

1240
01:07:48,198 --> 01:07:49,464
Yes, the gift of intuition.

1241
01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,332
We could've had
an oreo cookie, brother.

1242
01:07:51,334 --> 01:07:53,701
-Nikki's white.
-I don't give a shit. I'm black.

1243
01:07:53,703 --> 01:07:56,704
Okay, so I got
one double vodka

1244
01:07:56,706 --> 01:07:58,540
and one straight cognac

1245
01:07:58,542 --> 01:08:03,411
with a splash of jungle juice
and a watermelon wedge.

1246
01:08:03,413 --> 01:08:06,514
Watermelon?
Fuck is jungle juice, man?

1247
01:08:08,117 --> 01:08:13,455
Hmmm...

1248
01:08:17,793 --> 01:08:19,094
Come forth.

1249
01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:23,832
Hi, hansel.

1250
01:08:23,834 --> 01:08:26,301
Um, is drew here?

1251
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:28,269
He is without presence.

1252
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:30,705
Does that mean
he's not here?

1253
01:08:30,707 --> 01:08:33,675
Do you know
when he'll be back?

1254
01:08:33,677 --> 01:08:34,843
I do not.

1255
01:08:34,845 --> 01:08:38,213
I also do not know
who you are.

1256
01:08:38,215 --> 01:08:41,816
This is Hannah.
She's part of our acting class.

1257
01:08:41,818 --> 01:08:46,888
Ah. I extend my right hand,
and she offers her left.

1258
01:08:46,890 --> 01:08:48,456
Uh, yeah, I'm sorry.

1259
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:51,693
I can't use my right side
of my body.

1260
01:08:51,695 --> 01:08:55,663
Because you choose not to move
this side of your body.

1261
01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:58,533
No, actually,
it's not by choice.

1262
01:08:58,535 --> 01:09:02,237
A beautiful girl
who is a nonconformist.

1263
01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:05,273
The magnitude
of such copious assertion

1264
01:09:05,275 --> 01:09:08,443
is far too sagacious
for me to comprehend.

1265
01:09:08,445 --> 01:09:11,813
Therefore, I hesitate
to articulate

1266
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:14,849
with any degree of accuracy.

1267
01:09:23,759 --> 01:09:25,360
Wait.

1268
01:09:27,530 --> 01:09:31,633
I worked my ass off to be
the best actor in this biz,

1269
01:09:31,635 --> 01:09:34,435
but I can't change who I am.

1270
01:09:34,437 --> 01:09:36,371
I can't change
the way I was born.

1271
01:09:36,373 --> 01:09:38,506
I think you just need
to stay positive, Teddy.

1272
01:09:38,508 --> 01:09:40,875
How do you know there's not
a movie being written right now

1273
01:09:40,877 --> 01:09:43,378
about a leading man
who's also a little person?

1274
01:09:43,380 --> 01:09:45,480
What does that have
to do with anything?

1275
01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:48,816
I'm talking about dealing with
the backlash of discrimination.

1276
01:09:48,818 --> 01:09:50,919
Well, as a little person, right?

1277
01:09:50,921 --> 01:09:52,921
No, you idiot,
as a homosexual.

1278
01:09:54,890 --> 01:09:57,625
- Shit!
- Okay, all right.

1279
01:09:57,627 --> 01:10:00,461
When I first started,
i was a total basket of nerves,

1280
01:10:00,463 --> 01:10:02,597
but then I just let
the adrenaline take over

1281
01:10:02,599 --> 01:10:04,832
and unleashed my beast,
just like Evan taught us.

1282
01:10:04,834 --> 01:10:07,902
Oh, god, you guys.
I-i gotta go.

1283
01:10:07,904 --> 01:10:10,672
- What?
- My ex. My ex is in there.

1284
01:10:10,674 --> 01:10:13,241
I can't deal with this
right now.

1285
01:10:13,243 --> 01:10:15,410
I think I know
what you need, Teddy.

1286
01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:17,478
Let me go.

1287
01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:19,514
Yeah?
Tell me to let you go,

1288
01:10:19,516 --> 01:10:21,783
or I'll hold you like this
all day, woman.

1289
01:10:21,785 --> 01:10:24,385
Let go of me,
you asshole.

1290
01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:26,387
I'm warm, I'm warm.

1291
01:10:26,389 --> 01:10:27,789
Freeze, pervert!

1292
01:10:27,791 --> 01:10:29,757
You have three seconds
to put that child down

1293
01:10:29,759 --> 01:10:31,726
or you will be tased!

1294
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:33,261
You again?

1295
01:10:33,263 --> 01:10:36,497
Oh, shit.
No! What? No!

1296
01:10:36,499 --> 01:10:38,700
First, girl scouts,
now little handicapped boys?

1297
01:10:38,702 --> 01:10:40,401
What? No!

1298
01:10:40,403 --> 01:10:42,337
You are sicker than I thought,
you sick little pervert!

1299
01:10:42,339 --> 01:10:44,672
Teddy, tell them.
It's a misunderstanding.

1300
01:10:44,674 --> 01:10:46,808
Officers, I'm 26 years old.

1301
01:10:46,810 --> 01:10:49,777
He's just helping me so I could
go inside and blow 'em away.

1302
01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:51,246
- What?
- Oh, sweet Jesus.

1303
01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:52,580
It's okay, little boy.

1304
01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:55,450
You don't have
to blow anyone today.

1305
01:10:55,452 --> 01:10:56,784
I'm not a little boy.

1306
01:10:56,786 --> 01:11:00,555
You can go shove that
up your black ass.

1307
01:11:00,557 --> 01:11:02,590
God! Teddy, are you okay?

1308
01:11:02,592 --> 01:11:04,826
Step back
or you will be tased!

1309
01:11:04,828 --> 01:11:06,728
- Who are you?
- My name is Hugo.

1310
01:11:06,730 --> 01:11:08,830
What the hell
are you doing here?

1311
01:11:08,832 --> 01:11:10,431
I was inside just having
my normal vanilla nut latte,

1312
01:11:10,433 --> 01:11:11,899
skinny girl edition,

1313
01:11:11,901 --> 01:11:14,836
and I saw this beast
manhandling my little Teddy.

1314
01:11:14,838 --> 01:11:16,371
Are you this little boy's
father?

1315
01:11:16,373 --> 01:11:17,939
No. He use to be my lover.
He was amazing.

1316
01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:20,275
He would get to places
you never--

1317
01:11:20,277 --> 01:11:21,976
oh, my god.

1318
01:11:23,846 --> 01:11:27,649
You know your friends are gonna
be at that showcase tonight.

1319
01:11:27,651 --> 01:11:30,351
- Apparently.
- You're supposed to be there.

1320
01:11:30,353 --> 01:11:33,821
What do you think they're gonna
say when you don't even show up?

1321
01:11:33,823 --> 01:11:36,491
- How do you think they'll feel?
- Who cares?

1322
01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:38,026
Anything else?

1323
01:11:38,028 --> 01:11:40,795
No, thanks.

1324
01:11:43,399 --> 01:11:44,932
Look, that's messed up, drew.

1325
01:11:44,934 --> 01:11:46,634
If you say
you're gonna do something,

1326
01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:47,969
then, man, you gotta do it.

1327
01:11:47,971 --> 01:11:50,505
All your peeps
are gonna be there

1328
01:11:50,507 --> 01:11:52,607
while you're sitting
at a dive bar.

1329
01:11:55,010 --> 01:11:56,511
Come on.

1330
01:11:58,080 --> 01:11:59,947
Let's go.

1331
01:11:59,949 --> 01:12:01,449
I'll take my watermelon.

1332
01:12:03,352 --> 01:12:05,553
Little boy,
I'll be right back for you.

1333
01:12:05,555 --> 01:12:09,023
We will find your parents
today, sweetheart.

1334
01:12:09,025 --> 01:12:10,892
Don't either of you
move a muscle!

1335
01:12:10,894 --> 01:12:13,428
- Let's go, rookie.
- You gonna pin me down?

1336
01:12:13,430 --> 01:12:16,864
I unleash beast.
Let's go! Hurry up!

1337
01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:18,533
I no wanna miss showcase.

1338
01:12:18,535 --> 01:12:20,802
You guys just go without me.
I can never keep up.

1339
01:12:20,804 --> 01:12:23,604
Yeah, right.
Let's saddle up, dudes.

1340
01:12:23,606 --> 01:12:26,407
Oh, my god, Teddy!
What the hell is happening?

1341
01:12:26,409 --> 01:12:29,444
Stop being such a queen.
I'll be fine. Leave me alone.

1342
01:12:29,446 --> 01:12:31,679
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to the showcase.

1343
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:34,649
- I gotta unleash my beast.
- Where are you taking him?

1344
01:12:34,651 --> 01:12:36,484
Shut up, Hugo.

1345
01:12:36,486 --> 01:12:38,119
Don't you die on me!

1346
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:40,054
Okay, I don't even know
how to turn this thing on.

1347
01:12:40,056 --> 01:12:41,756
Honestly, I never driven
one of these.

1348
01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:43,758
I've never even
ridden a bicycle. Shit!

1349
01:12:46,929 --> 01:12:51,366
Ladies and gentleman,
please allow me to introduce

1350
01:12:51,368 --> 01:12:55,970
the one and the only
star-studded ensemble,

1351
01:12:55,972 --> 01:12:58,506
I give to you...

1352
01:12:58,508 --> 01:13:02,777
The starmaker academy!

1353
01:13:19,062 --> 01:13:23,664
Once upon a time
in a land far, far away

1354
01:13:23,666 --> 01:13:26,868
lived a very selfish king.

1355
01:13:26,870 --> 01:13:30,071
I am both intelligent
and handsome.

1356
01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,774
Are there any men
greater than me, my loves?

1357
01:13:32,776 --> 01:13:35,643
Your greatness
goes unparalleled, my love.

1358
01:13:35,645 --> 01:13:38,413
You are the greatest king
in all the land.

1359
01:13:38,415 --> 01:13:40,615
And that is why I shall
wed even more wives.

1360
01:13:40,617 --> 01:13:42,617
A male specimen
of this caliber

1361
01:13:42,619 --> 01:13:44,886
shall not be hoarded
by merely three women,

1362
01:13:44,888 --> 01:13:46,988
for I desire more wives.

1363
01:13:46,990 --> 01:13:49,924
May we ask that you
not take another lover,

1364
01:13:49,926 --> 01:13:53,528
for we are beginning to feel
like just a number, my love?

1365
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:55,196
Asshole.

1366
01:13:57,966 --> 01:13:59,734
Heidi, my queen,

1367
01:13:59,736 --> 01:14:02,670
you have always been
the quiet one in the group.

1368
01:14:02,672 --> 01:14:04,572
I suggest you keep quiet,

1369
01:14:04,574 --> 01:14:06,607
or I'm gonna toss your ass
out of this castle

1370
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,443
and into
the urine-filled streets.

1371
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:11,679
Cold.

1372
01:14:14,216 --> 01:14:16,517
Why don't you have
a car again, Nate?

1373
01:14:16,519 --> 01:14:21,122
You might find it funny, drew,
but the environment is no joke.

1374
01:14:21,124 --> 01:14:24,192
Let me get off this thing.
Fucking segues.

1375
01:14:26,595 --> 01:14:29,797
One of the king's guardsmen
appears,

1376
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:33,534
bearing news
of a recent discovery.

1377
01:14:33,536 --> 01:14:37,872
King rubisio,
Grant thy servant Liberty

1378
01:14:37,874 --> 01:14:41,008
to speak freely
to thy greatness.

1379
01:14:41,010 --> 01:14:43,678
Yes, my guardsman,
but first,

1380
01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:46,547
who is the most handsome king
in all of the land?

1381
01:14:46,549 --> 01:14:48,616
You are, king rubisio.

1382
01:14:48,618 --> 01:14:51,586
Though my gate does not swing
in that direction,

1383
01:14:51,588 --> 01:14:54,021
I am confident enough
to compliment.

1384
01:14:55,725 --> 01:14:58,659
Why have you come bothering me
and my lucky concubines?

1385
01:14:58,661 --> 01:15:01,762
Your warriors have returned,
good sir.

1386
01:15:01,764 --> 01:15:04,265
They have come
bringing you a new wife.

1387
01:15:04,267 --> 01:15:06,834
Send them in, my guardsman.

1388
01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:11,539
Hello, my good king.

1389
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:13,875
We've returned from our travels
and brought to you

1390
01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:16,143
the beautiful woman
in all of the land.

1391
01:15:16,145 --> 01:15:18,646
Whoa. I thought I was
the most beautiful queen.

1392
01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:21,082
Silence!

1393
01:15:21,084 --> 01:15:23,551
Hold this.

1394
01:15:23,553 --> 01:15:27,188
Bring forth the prisoner
and let me examine her myself.

1395
01:15:29,157 --> 01:15:31,225
Well, what do you think?

1396
01:15:31,227 --> 01:15:33,127
Is this object of affection
pretty enough

1397
01:15:33,129 --> 01:15:35,830
for the king of all kings?

1398
01:15:35,832 --> 01:15:37,832
Pretty enough?
Are you serious, rubisio?

1399
01:15:37,834 --> 01:15:39,667
Hannah's way too hot for you.

1400
01:15:39,669 --> 01:15:41,269
She doesn't deserve
a jerk like you.

1401
01:15:41,271 --> 01:15:43,704
Shut up, you idiot.
That's not part of the scene.

1402
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:45,573
Tell it to someone who cares.

1403
01:15:45,575 --> 01:15:49,644
Warriors, come forth
and put this moron in the hole,

1404
01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:51,979
for he has shown
great disrespect.

1405
01:16:00,623 --> 01:16:02,657
I will wed
this prisoner of love.

1406
01:16:02,659 --> 01:16:05,259
I shall make her
my concubine immediately.

1407
01:16:05,261 --> 01:16:07,194
Bring forth the priest.

1408
01:16:08,864 --> 01:16:10,631
Que se dice, my reverend.

1409
01:16:10,633 --> 01:16:12,066
Good day to you, my king.

1410
01:16:12,068 --> 01:16:15,236
What a beautiful young bride
thee has selected.

1411
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:16,971
You are a lucky king.

1412
01:16:16,973 --> 01:16:18,773
I am a deserving king.

1413
01:16:18,775 --> 01:16:20,608
Now begin the ceremony,

1414
01:16:20,610 --> 01:16:24,011
for I am growing increasingly
anxious to bed down my new wife.

1415
01:16:26,048 --> 01:16:29,016
Please, king,
have mercy on me,

1416
01:16:29,018 --> 01:16:30,885
for I love another man.

1417
01:16:30,887 --> 01:16:34,789
It is he I wish to live happily
ever after with, not you.

1418
01:16:34,791 --> 01:16:36,257
Silence!

1419
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:38,993
You are now mine,
and you will forever be mine.

1420
01:16:38,995 --> 01:16:41,996
Continue with the ceremony now.

1421
01:16:41,998 --> 01:16:44,365
If no one objects to these two
wedding this day--

1422
01:16:44,367 --> 01:16:46,300
unhand her!

1423
01:16:46,302 --> 01:16:50,071
Unhand my beautiful wife,
you filthy king,

1424
01:16:50,073 --> 01:16:52,139
for I have traveled
a fortnight

1425
01:16:52,141 --> 01:16:54,909
to fend off
this ferocious king.

1426
01:16:54,911 --> 01:16:59,380
But now as I stand before you,
you are no king,

1427
01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:03,284
for you are
an insecure coward.

1428
01:17:11,194 --> 01:17:12,693
Enough.

1429
01:17:12,695 --> 01:17:14,161
I said enough.

1430
01:17:15,964 --> 01:17:17,832
Shut up!

1431
01:17:17,834 --> 01:17:19,300
What are you guys doing?

1432
01:17:19,302 --> 01:17:20,735
That's not even
part of the scene.

1433
01:17:20,737 --> 01:17:22,169
You're gonna ruin this shit.

1434
01:17:25,408 --> 01:17:28,309
I now declare
each and every one of you

1435
01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:30,244
a free member in society.

1436
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,013
Live and let live.

1437
01:17:32,015 --> 01:17:34,348
Shall we rejoice?

1438
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:45,092
Come forth and fight me
for your love.

1439
01:17:45,094 --> 01:17:46,661
Ooh!

1440
01:17:46,663 --> 01:17:48,429
Come fight me
for what you think you deserve!

1441
01:18:01,977 --> 01:18:03,411
Uccellini!

1442
01:18:04,413 --> 01:18:06,247
Hansel.

1443
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,690
Thank you, kind sir.

1444
01:18:15,692 --> 01:18:17,391
What the fuck, drew?

1445
01:18:17,393 --> 01:18:19,260
Go fuck yourself.

1446
01:18:42,150 --> 01:18:43,184
Ow.

1447
01:18:43,186 --> 01:18:45,186
You know jujitsu?

1448
01:18:45,188 --> 01:18:47,855
This is meditative
mixed martial arts.

1449
01:18:47,857 --> 01:18:49,790
Now relax.

1450
01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:52,893
Eee!

1451
01:18:52,895 --> 01:18:54,395
Yeah!

1452
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:56,964
And it came to pass,

1453
01:18:56,966 --> 01:19:00,267
hansel had defeated
the evil king.

1454
01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:06,107
The darkness had moved out
and made way for the sunshine.

1455
01:19:06,109 --> 01:19:09,343
A new day has arrived!

1456
01:19:09,345 --> 01:19:11,812
The end!

1457
01:19:47,950 --> 01:19:50,351
what are you doing?

1458
01:19:56,324 --> 01:19:58,159
Hugo: Ah.

1459
01:19:58,161 --> 01:20:00,327
Hugo, baby,
thank you so much for coming.

1460
01:20:00,329 --> 01:20:02,196
Teddy, that was glorious.

1461
01:20:02,198 --> 01:20:05,032
I swear, I believed
you were a lumberjack.

1462
01:20:05,034 --> 01:20:06,400
- Really?
- Oh, my goodness.

1463
01:20:06,402 --> 01:20:07,835
It was just...

1464
01:20:07,837 --> 01:20:09,937
I told you that class
is like amazing.

1465
01:20:09,939 --> 01:20:11,872
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I really didn't.

1466
01:20:11,874 --> 01:20:13,374
- I forgive you.
- Yeah?

1467
01:20:13,376 --> 01:20:14,809
The point is
that you're here now.

1468
01:20:14,811 --> 01:20:16,510
Yeah, all right.

1469
01:20:16,512 --> 01:20:18,546
You just mean so much to me,
honestly, like--

1470
01:20:18,548 --> 01:20:21,048
hey, you all have three seconds
to get on the ground

1471
01:20:21,050 --> 01:20:22,283
or you will be tased!

1472
01:20:22,285 --> 01:20:24,485
- No one move!
- Him again.

1473
01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,821
- What's your explanation, boy?
- I have no explanation!

1474
01:20:26,823 --> 01:20:28,489
And who's this young lady
behind you?

1475
01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:30,858
- She's my girlfriend.
- Don't lie to me, boy!

1476
01:20:30,860 --> 01:20:32,426
You can't get something
that hot!

1477
01:20:32,428 --> 01:20:34,895
I swear to god.
She's my girlfriend. Tell him!

1478
01:20:34,897 --> 01:20:36,530
- I don't know him.
- What the fuck?

1479
01:20:36,532 --> 01:20:39,433
- How much did you pay her?
- It's on, it's on.

1480
01:20:44,439 --> 01:20:47,308
All rise for
the honorable judge Martinez.

1481
01:20:47,310 --> 01:20:50,945
<i> Drew: These geniuses were</i>
<i> charged with Grand Theft Auto.</i>

1482
01:20:50,947 --> 01:20:53,447
<i> Luckily for them,</i>
<i> I finally passed the bar exam.</i>

1483
01:20:53,449 --> 01:20:55,216
You may be seated.

1484
01:20:55,218 --> 01:20:58,452
Hey, drew. Tell the judge
to go fuck himself.

1485
01:20:58,454 --> 01:21:01,222
No, don't do that.
Don't tell him that.

1486
01:21:01,224 --> 01:21:04,625
Hello, your honor.
In today's case, 1009,

1487
01:21:04,627 --> 01:21:07,494
<i> the people versus</i>
<i> starmaker academy,</i>

1488
01:21:07,496 --> 01:21:10,364
we'd like to enter
a plea of not guilty.

1489
01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:14,935
<i> Drew: And had them demoted.</i>

1490
01:21:14,937 --> 01:21:16,470
I know!

1491
01:21:16,472 --> 01:21:18,339
It's all because of you.

1492
01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:23,477
This is all your fault,
we're in this situation.

1493
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:26,380
- I told you, I told you.
- This one's no good.

1494
01:21:26,382 --> 01:21:29,650
<i> Boulevard horny,</i>
scene donkey dick, take three.

1495
01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:32,419
<i> Drew: Teddy finally got</i>
<i> his anger under control...</i>

1496
01:21:32,421 --> 01:21:34,622
Hey.

1497
01:21:34,624 --> 01:21:37,157
<i> ...once he found</i>
<i> his true calling.</i>

1498
01:21:37,159 --> 01:21:40,361
Okay, I think he's ready.
Let's bring in the real talent.

1499
01:21:40,363 --> 01:21:43,464
I am the real talent.

1500
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:49,503
- No, no, no, no.
- Are you ready for me, big boy?

1501
01:21:49,505 --> 01:21:52,606
Teddy: I think he's still
too cold.

1502
01:21:52,608 --> 01:21:55,542
I want you to take his ass
outside and warm it up.

1503
01:21:57,913 --> 01:22:00,547
Time to warm your ass up,
bitch boy.

1504
01:22:03,518 --> 01:22:05,519
That dick looks good
on you, girl.

1505
01:22:05,521 --> 01:22:08,555
And action!

1506
01:22:10,559 --> 01:22:13,160
<i> Drew: And rubisio?</i>

1507
01:22:13,162 --> 01:22:16,497
<i> Well, let's just say</i>
<i> Karma is alive and well.</i>

1508
01:22:16,499 --> 01:22:18,065
Ugh.

1509
01:22:21,636 --> 01:22:23,437
Hey, Charles,

1510
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:27,074
I think we just found
the new face for our company.

1511
01:22:27,076 --> 01:22:31,545
Nikki morehead.
Find her.

1512
01:22:31,547 --> 01:22:33,414
<i> Nikki became</i>
<i> the official spokesmodel</i>

1513
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:35,249
<i> for non-virgin airlines.</i>

1514
01:22:35,251 --> 01:22:38,118
Hannah! I thought
we were meeting at sag.

1515
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:40,955
Yeah, I figured I'd pick you up.
That way we can carpool.

1516
01:22:40,957 --> 01:22:44,458
- Besides, I missed you.
- Thanks, babe.

1517
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:47,494
<i> All in all, I'd call this</i>
<i> a happy ending.</i>

1518
01:22:47,496 --> 01:22:49,396
Mm-mm-mm.

1519
01:22:49,398 --> 01:22:50,597
<i> Even for Nate.</i>

1519
01:22:51,305 --> 01:22:57,196
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