1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,827 [chalk scraping] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:13,172 --> 00:00:15,655 [soft music] 5 00:00:45,517 --> 00:00:48,793 - [Jason] When I was 10 years old, your grandfather-- 6 00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,137 - How you doing? 7 00:00:50,206 --> 00:00:51,103 - [Jason] Brought a camera home 8 00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:52,275 from the school where he taught. 9 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,000 And he showed me how to use it. 10 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:58,931 - I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 11 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,241 - [Jason] I filmed your two uncles, your grandmother, 12 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:05,413 and sometimes, myself. 13 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,620 - [Ed] I think we're lost. 14 00:01:06,689 --> 00:01:07,862 - Yes, what's going on? 15 00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,379 - [Jason] It was through the camera 16 00:01:10,448 --> 00:01:13,068 your grandfather taught me how to be an artist. 17 00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:15,206 - [Ed] This maze is killing me. 18 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,965 - [Young Jason] Help! 19 00:01:17,034 --> 00:01:19,000 - [Jason] This film is a way of passing 20 00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,310 these things on to you. 21 00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:29,586 In fact, it's about you and me. 22 00:01:31,689 --> 00:01:34,103 [soft music] 23 00:01:39,137 --> 00:01:40,517 To tell our story, 24 00:01:40,586 --> 00:01:43,034 I have to go back to 2005, 25 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,655 when I was diagnosed with this. 26 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,620 Multiple sclerosis is when your own body 27 00:01:48,689 --> 00:01:51,620 thinks that your nerves are the enemy. 28 00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:54,310 It results in the loss of muscle control, 29 00:01:54,379 --> 00:01:57,724 vision, balance, sensation, 30 00:01:57,793 --> 00:01:59,827 and the whack load of other problems. 31 00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:03,137 Primary progressive multiple sclerosis 32 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,068 is the hardest hitting form. 33 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:08,275 I can sum it up in three words. 34 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:10,275 Pretty fucking scary. 35 00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:13,827 I really wanted you. 36 00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:18,517 But with MS, I wasn't sure if I was able to have kids. 37 00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:21,724 That's when I met your mom. 38 00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:25,172 She was smart, beautiful, 39 00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:28,103 and maybe because her mom had MS-- 40 00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:29,413 - Are you ready? 41 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,827 - [Jason] She was understanding about my condition. 42 00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:35,931 How is it that you're so magical? 43 00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:39,068 [laughs] 44 00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:40,448 - You're silly. 45 00:02:40,517 --> 00:02:43,034 - She became my creative partner. 46 00:02:43,103 --> 00:02:44,862 That over there. 47 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,448 It seemed like a perfect relationship. 48 00:02:49,413 --> 00:02:52,172 We had a commitment ceremony in the park. 49 00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:54,275 [clapping] 50 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:02,551 Within a couple of years, 51 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:05,206 your mom got pregnant with you. 52 00:03:05,275 --> 00:03:07,551 [laughing] 53 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:11,655 Just before you were born, 54 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:14,655 we were invited to screen my last film, When I Walk. 55 00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:17,068 - [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 56 00:03:17,137 --> 00:03:19,413 Jason DaSilva and Alice Cook. 57 00:03:19,482 --> 00:03:21,896 [clapping] 58 00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:23,137 - [Audience Member] When is your baby due? 59 00:03:23,206 --> 00:03:25,103 - Baby's due actually on Valentine's Day. 60 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,172 - [Audience] Aww. 61 00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:33,896 [laughing] [clapping] 62 00:03:37,344 --> 00:03:39,344 - Hi sweetie, it's okay. 63 00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:42,275 - [Jason] The day you were born 64 00:03:42,344 --> 00:03:44,965 was the best day of our lives. 65 00:03:45,034 --> 00:03:46,034 - It's okay. 66 00:03:46,103 --> 00:03:47,862 Thank you to all of you. 67 00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:50,517 - [Nurse] Oh you're welcome, you did great. 68 00:03:50,586 --> 00:03:53,137 [baby crying] 69 00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:55,931 - Yeah. 70 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,068 [nurses mumbling] 71 00:03:59,137 --> 00:04:01,103 - [Jason] He's really cute. 72 00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:03,655 - [Alice] What's the name? 73 00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:06,103 - Jason Savior DaSilva. 74 00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,206 It's a really cute name. 75 00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:10,517 - [Alice] He really looked at you a lot. 76 00:04:10,586 --> 00:04:12,482 - [Jason] He was looking a lot. 77 00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,931 - [Alice] He likes staring at you. 78 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,551 [soft music] 79 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,931 - Yay! - Give him a kiss. 80 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,655 Give him a kiss, yay! 81 00:04:31,827 --> 00:04:34,206 - Look at that, that's a camera. 82 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,551 Pretty cool, huh? - I'll show you. 83 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,103 - [Jason] What do you think, guy? 84 00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:41,241 - Just turning on your chair for you. 85 00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:43,827 [soft music] 86 00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:47,965 - [Boy] Oh yeah. 87 00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:49,344 [laughing] 88 00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:54,482 - [Alice] Just don't give Daddy any break. 89 00:04:54,551 --> 00:04:55,275 Just stuff it. 90 00:04:57,586 --> 00:05:00,103 [soft music] 91 00:05:09,896 --> 00:05:11,448 - [Jason] I love you so much, 92 00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:15,068 but I'm still nervous about being a father to you. 93 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:16,379 Especially with my disability. 94 00:05:18,689 --> 00:05:20,413 So I called my dad for advice. 95 00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:24,413 He was my idol growing up. 96 00:05:26,931 --> 00:05:28,965 Even though my parents split up 97 00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:30,965 when I was a teenager, 98 00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,448 my dad stayed close by. 99 00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,620 - [Jason] Yeah, I do need help taking care of you, 100 00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:03,724 but I can still be a good father. 101 00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:11,827 But there are so many places I can't share with you. 102 00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:14,068 [beeping] 103 00:06:17,965 --> 00:06:18,413 All around the city, 104 00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:21,413 all around the world. 105 00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:25,517 Accessibility is a critical issue. 106 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:29,379 It's why I developed an accessibility website and app. 107 00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:31,620 Your mom and I work on it together. 108 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,172 - As you can see, this place is kind of 109 00:06:34,241 --> 00:06:35,965 amazing for accessibility. 110 00:06:36,034 --> 00:06:38,551 Huge entryway, totally flat. 111 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,206 No lip here whatsoever. 112 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,413 I'm gonna give this place five stars. 113 00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:44,448 - Everybody understands what it's like 114 00:06:44,517 --> 00:06:48,448 to lose your freedom and not being able to go someplace 115 00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:53,413 just because of a step or a flight or stairs. 116 00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:58,241 This is the first time that we're able to map Tiblisi. 117 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:01,758 We're coming up with X Map 2.0, 118 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:04,310 which will release a new API function. 119 00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:10,137 - [Member] The next speaker will be Jason DaSilva, please. 120 00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:13,448 - It was fine until I became disabled. 121 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:16,034 We have a wonderful son, Jase, 122 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,344 and I just wonder, 123 00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:19,517 am I gonna be able to be with him 124 00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:22,586 and go to things like his baseball game? 125 00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:27,620 I dream of a world where it's 100% accessible. 126 00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,379 Meanwhile, I get recognition for When I Walk. 127 00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:33,758 - And the winner goes to When I Walk. 128 00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:37,137 - This award is dedicated to all people with disabilities 129 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,689 from around the world 130 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:41,344 that are putting their stories onscreen. 131 00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:43,931 You're making this world a better place 132 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,689 and changing media today. 133 00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:49,551 And I started working on this film. 134 00:07:54,034 --> 00:07:54,827 Yeah, that's good. 135 00:07:56,172 --> 00:07:58,482 [mumbling] 136 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:00,655 - [Marianne] Oh my God. 137 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:03,172 [laughing] 138 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,172 - [Jason] I feel like a lucky guy. 139 00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:06,896 Your grandmother says-- 140 00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:09,517 - [Both] You have angels taking care of you. 141 00:08:09,586 --> 00:08:11,344 - Thank you, Miss Positivity. 142 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:15,000 I feel like my life is moving forward. 143 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:18,206 But so is my MS. 144 00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:20,724 And I now need 24 hour care. 145 00:08:23,689 --> 00:08:26,137 [soft music] 146 00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:32,965 [babbling] 147 00:08:35,137 --> 00:08:37,413 [soft music] 148 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,517 Makes me sad to think about 149 00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:54,689 what I'm gonna be like as you get older. 150 00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:57,551 It makes me sad that you wouldn't really know me 151 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,896 as somebody who would get out and do things with you. 152 00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:05,413 But I mean, in a way, 153 00:09:05,482 --> 00:09:09,689 making this film is the way that 154 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,172 I can show you what I was like 155 00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:14,620 and talk to you about challenges. 156 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:22,103 It turns out one of the biggest challenges 157 00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:24,137 was for me and your mom. 158 00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:27,310 Okay. 159 00:09:27,379 --> 00:09:31,931 50% of couples where one spouse has a disability 160 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,241 end in separation. 161 00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:37,379 The other person is more prone to caregiver burnout. 162 00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:41,275 And that's what happened to us. 163 00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:49,241 I thought long and hard about sharing this with you 164 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:51,655 and I think that you should know what happened. 165 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,241 I can't speak for your mom, 166 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:56,586 so this is just my side of the story. 167 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,448 I'm not exactly sure when things started to go wrong. 168 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,137 But it may be when we decided to move 169 00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:05,448 from Brooklyn to Manhattan. 170 00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:10,275 I'm really glad we're moving. 171 00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:13,172 I'd like to do things outside of just one neighborhood. 172 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:17,862 Seriously, what's the point of being in New York 173 00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:21,965 if I don't get to do that? 174 00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:24,172 - I don't know, that's why we're moving. 175 00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:25,655 For you. 176 00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,241 - [Jason] And I think it'll be good for Jase. 177 00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:29,344 - He has the park here. 178 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:31,034 We're not gonna have a park. 179 00:10:32,206 --> 00:10:34,068 And last summer, we sat in the park. 180 00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:36,620 That's all we did was play in the grass. 181 00:10:36,689 --> 00:10:38,068 - [Jason] But for the last couple times, 182 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:42,896 we tried to go out just for doctor's appointments. 183 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,586 I had to cancel them because I couldn't even 184 00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:46,068 drive to doctor appointments. 185 00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:48,000 - That's why we're moving. 186 00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:52,103 - I'm curious if other places are like this. 187 00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:54,827 - I don't want to live in New York our whole life. 188 00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:56,172 What if we want to go somewhere? 189 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:59,931 But then it depends on the care in that state, 190 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,172 in that country, 191 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,896 and the care in New York, it turns out, 192 00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,172 is pretty good. 193 00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:06,413 So could we match it? 194 00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:07,931 I don't know. 195 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,931 The two of us being basically confined to New York 196 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,310 as long as we are a couple. 197 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,827 If we can't make it in New York City, 198 00:11:17,896 --> 00:11:19,172 then you're gonna be in a nursing home 199 00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:22,034 and we're gonna live in Oklahoma or something. 200 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:22,896 I don't know. 201 00:11:24,137 --> 00:11:25,862 - [Jason] We look at places to live 202 00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:27,448 that might be better suited for raising children. 203 00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:32,000 We start where we have relatives. 204 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:36,586 Florida, Toronto, and Vancouver. 205 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,413 Where we celebrate your first birthday 206 00:11:39,482 --> 00:11:41,586 with my crazy family. 207 00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:43,068 - Again. 208 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:46,965 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 209 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:50,896 [cheering and clapping] 210 00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:52,793 - Clapping, Mommy gets to blow the cake. 211 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,103 - One more time. 212 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,827 Here we go. - Here we go again. 213 00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,275 - Ready, set. - Make a wish. 214 00:11:57,344 --> 00:12:00,793 [cheering and laughing] 215 00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:05,241 - [Jason] The question that we both have 216 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:08,034 is where should we end up living? 217 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,758 - I was just thinking of that just yesterday. 218 00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:13,448 And I'm thinking down the road, 219 00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:15,172 'cause I'm getting older, 220 00:12:15,241 --> 00:12:16,551 thinking of the future. 221 00:12:30,172 --> 00:12:31,689 - I think we want to. 222 00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:33,689 The trouble is Florida, the care there. 223 00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:36,793 I think they'd force him to a nursing home. 224 00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:40,172 - That's probably the care here is the same way too. 225 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:42,103 - Yeah, exactly. - Come. 226 00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:45,344 Sorry, he's gonna, we can just pass him back and forth. 227 00:12:45,413 --> 00:12:47,344 - [Jason] So right now, we have the best care 228 00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:48,689 that we would have. 229 00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,241 - Exactly, New York gives the best equation. 230 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,793 - [Marianne] Yeah, response. 231 00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:56,034 - Here, you can stand. 232 00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:57,206 - [Jason] As soon as we get back to New York, 233 00:12:57,275 --> 00:13:00,379 we move to the East Village, 234 00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:03,620 where we try stuffing our family and my care aides 235 00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:06,241 into a small one bedroom apartment. 236 00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:18,034 - When they're not here, we could. 237 00:13:18,103 --> 00:13:19,862 - No, I can't, it's... 238 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:06,172 - Yeah but they have a... 239 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:08,517 The thing, no, that's not true. 240 00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:12,413 [Jace babbling] 241 00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:16,172 Yeah, that's right. 242 00:14:16,241 --> 00:14:19,482 Before long, we were celebrating your second birthday. 243 00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:21,620 - Come on, big blow. 244 00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:25,068 [clapping and cheering] 245 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,310 [people chatting] 246 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:34,000 [soft music] 247 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,137 - [Jason] I'm delighted that you're 248 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:44,000 getting around more than ever. 249 00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:48,655 But I hate that I can't always follow you. 250 00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:49,517 - Daddy? 251 00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:56,068 Daddy? 252 00:14:57,137 --> 00:14:57,931 Daddy? 253 00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:04,655 - I think he needs help. 254 00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:05,482 - Yeah. - You want to go? 255 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,137 - Oh hey there, you. 256 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,379 - He's over there. - Okay. 257 00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:06,482 - No, I can't. 258 00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,620 So here I am at 35, 259 00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:18,655 but I feel like I am much older 260 00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:21,172 and I don't know if it's because 261 00:16:22,965 --> 00:16:25,965 we have a baby right now or 262 00:16:28,724 --> 00:16:31,068 maybe we got married too soon. 263 00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,206 Maybe... 264 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,620 I don't know. 265 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:38,655 We're older. 266 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:41,413 This is how we were. 267 00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:45,482 But yeah. 268 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:48,827 Your mother and I aren't going through 269 00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:51,000 the best of times. 270 00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:54,586 We're going through difficult situation. 271 00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:59,931 So, we spend a lot of time arguing to each other and 272 00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:05,827 I can't tell you the last time that 273 00:17:06,931 --> 00:17:08,724 she slept in the same bed as me. 274 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:14,206 I don't think that I signed up for that. 275 00:17:16,862 --> 00:17:19,482 I almost didn't put the next scene in the film 276 00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:20,551 'cause it deals with sex. 277 00:17:22,344 --> 00:17:24,172 But it's an important part of life 278 00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:25,551 that you'll understand when you get older. 279 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:30,827 It all started when I called my friend Davey 280 00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:32,448 because your mom and I weren't sleeping together. 281 00:17:34,551 --> 00:17:36,517 But Jase, take it from me. 282 00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:39,344 You ever have relationship on the rocks, 283 00:17:39,413 --> 00:17:41,068 don't do this. 284 00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:41,896 - [Davey] Hello? 285 00:17:41,965 --> 00:17:43,241 - [Jason] Hey, Davey. 286 00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:44,172 - [Davey] Hey, how's it going, man? 287 00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:45,724 What's up? 288 00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,413 - Okay, so imagine if you were in my situation. 289 00:17:48,482 --> 00:17:51,310 Where you're trying to use your hands, 290 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,758 you can't see properly, you're in a wheelchair. 291 00:17:54,827 --> 00:17:57,275 I'm just like, I have no idea what to do. 292 00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,241 So I just am sitting, 293 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:04,344 sitting, waiting for nothing to happen. 294 00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:07,413 - [Davey] Well, there are services 295 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:10,241 for people that are handicapped to get that stuff done. 296 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:10,517 And it's legal. 297 00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:12,517 - Oh really? 298 00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:19,482 - Yeah, I didn't know about that. 299 00:18:19,551 --> 00:18:21,137 - [Davey] There's also a network within 300 00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:23,758 the handicapped community that will do it for free. 301 00:18:23,827 --> 00:18:25,448 They come over and do that for you. 302 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:27,586 You know what I mean, if you want, 303 00:18:27,655 --> 00:18:31,034 I'd be happy to get some information for you. 304 00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,379 - Yeah, yeah, that'd be good. 305 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,482 One week later, I find somebody through 306 00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:37,413 the disability network. 307 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,551 But cheating on your mom doesn't solve anything. 308 00:18:44,137 --> 00:18:46,310 Instead, it pushed us further apart. 309 00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:05,655 I mean, I've tried to set aside some time, 310 00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:07,413 but it hasn't really worked out. 311 00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:10,758 It's like I'm constantly surrounded by 312 00:19:10,827 --> 00:19:12,241 care aides and that type. 313 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,448 There's no time or break for me. 314 00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:17,758 So I just can't handle it. 315 00:19:34,034 --> 00:19:35,862 - Yeah, yeah. 316 00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:42,103 I don't know, yeah, I'm frustrated. 317 00:19:52,655 --> 00:19:53,965 - As far as Jason, I still love him. 318 00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:55,172 I want to be with him. 319 00:19:55,241 --> 00:19:57,586 I like the relationship. 320 00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:00,448 I'm just physically a mess and tired. 321 00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:02,448 And I can't do the things that he wants me to do for him. 322 00:20:04,689 --> 00:20:05,448 It's not complicated. 323 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:11,000 - How can you be physically more of a mess right now 324 00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:13,241 than what I'm dealing with 325 00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:15,241 on a day to day? 326 00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:21,206 Do you put them up against each other ever? 327 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,103 - I don't know. 328 00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:26,724 I mean, you don't, 329 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,068 if I were like you, then we couldn't, 330 00:20:29,137 --> 00:20:31,586 I mean, we really wouldn't survive. 331 00:20:31,655 --> 00:20:32,793 I'm keeping us afloat. 332 00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:43,068 - I used to go. 333 00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,413 I gave Jason so much TLC. 334 00:20:44,482 --> 00:20:47,793 My whole life was dedicated to caring for you 335 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,275 until Jase was born. 336 00:21:11,068 --> 00:21:11,862 - Yeah. 337 00:21:15,655 --> 00:21:17,827 - Okay, let's help Daddy real quick, watch. 338 00:21:17,896 --> 00:21:19,655 Watch Mommy help Daddy. 339 00:21:19,724 --> 00:21:21,379 [Jace crying] 340 00:21:24,482 --> 00:21:28,103 Okay, let me pull him more and you lift. 341 00:21:29,344 --> 00:21:30,724 It's easier. 342 00:21:30,793 --> 00:21:33,275 Jason, I need you to put your arm... 343 00:21:33,344 --> 00:21:35,931 [Jace crying] 344 00:21:37,137 --> 00:21:39,000 Oh okay, come here. 345 00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:41,068 Come out, okay, I gotcha. 346 00:21:41,137 --> 00:21:42,310 Okay, I give up. 347 00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:48,068 Oh God. 348 00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:49,068 Okay, come on. 349 00:21:49,137 --> 00:21:50,034 - I see your mom getting pulled 350 00:21:50,103 --> 00:21:51,551 in so many different directions, 351 00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:54,448 including working full-time to take care of us. 352 00:21:56,034 --> 00:21:58,724 But still, I'm not doing my job taking care of her. 353 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:02,000 That's pretty good. 354 00:22:05,965 --> 00:22:07,379 - For some reason, he won't hold his own bottle. 355 00:22:07,448 --> 00:22:09,448 We have yet to figure that out. 356 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:16,000 I don't quit because he doesn't let me. 357 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,206 - [Jason] Can you come and hang out? 358 00:22:18,275 --> 00:22:21,275 I'm disabled but I still have responsibilities 359 00:22:21,344 --> 00:22:23,172 like everyone else. 360 00:22:28,206 --> 00:22:28,379 - [Alice] Feeding ourselves. 361 00:22:37,241 --> 00:22:39,310 - [Jason] While I do like the East Village, 362 00:22:39,379 --> 00:22:41,275 our apartment is expensive. 363 00:22:44,103 --> 00:22:45,413 But because of my disability, 364 00:22:45,482 --> 00:22:49,896 I qualify for a rent subsidized apartment 365 00:22:49,965 --> 00:22:51,517 in Long Island City, Queen's. 366 00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:54,241 - [Realtor] All the apartments have 367 00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:56,413 a stainless steel refrigerator, 368 00:22:56,482 --> 00:22:59,896 stove, there's a dishwasher, microwave. 369 00:23:08,896 --> 00:23:11,344 - No. 370 00:23:11,413 --> 00:23:13,068 - It's great. 371 00:23:13,137 --> 00:23:14,931 - [Realtor] You just need to sign 372 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,655 and then you can date on top here. 373 00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:23,103 - It's one of the best buildings in Brooklyn. 374 00:23:23,172 --> 00:23:24,827 - Queens. - Or Queens. 375 00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:26,448 In both. 376 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:30,517 [soft music] 377 00:23:33,551 --> 00:23:37,344 So, as soon as the paperwork goes through, we move. 378 00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:43,896 Even though the new apartment is much better, 379 00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:47,068 we decided to look at places outside the city. 380 00:23:48,586 --> 00:23:49,896 The next stop? 381 00:23:50,724 --> 00:23:52,103 Austin, Texas. 382 00:24:31,862 --> 00:24:33,206 - [Jason] Before we get home, 383 00:24:33,275 --> 00:24:35,896 your mom starts researching jobs in Austin. 384 00:24:37,724 --> 00:24:40,241 [soft music] 385 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,724 - Like this, watch here. 386 00:24:45,793 --> 00:24:49,310 Blow. 387 00:24:49,379 --> 00:24:51,103 [cheering] 388 00:24:51,172 --> 00:24:52,310 - Oh no! [laughs] 389 00:24:52,379 --> 00:24:54,137 Oh, I thought they were trick candles. 390 00:24:54,206 --> 00:24:55,000 Yay, Jase. 391 00:24:56,241 --> 00:24:57,724 - [Jason] Not long after your birthday, 392 00:24:57,793 --> 00:24:59,275 your mom accepts a job in Austin. 393 00:25:02,413 --> 00:25:04,655 [cheers] 394 00:25:04,724 --> 00:25:06,482 I don't want you to leave. 395 00:25:06,551 --> 00:25:10,000 Your mom says she can give you a better life in Austin. 396 00:25:10,965 --> 00:25:12,482 She might be right, 397 00:25:12,551 --> 00:25:14,517 and I figure I can always move there later. 398 00:25:16,758 --> 00:25:19,068 So I agreed to you both leaving. 399 00:25:22,724 --> 00:25:23,517 - [Alice] I only got that many boxes. 400 00:25:25,275 --> 00:25:27,137 - [Jason] But then in no time, 401 00:25:27,206 --> 00:25:31,068 the boxes are packed and you're ready to go. 402 00:25:31,137 --> 00:25:33,344 - Going to go, I wish. 403 00:25:33,413 --> 00:25:35,068 - Are you gonna go to Austin? 404 00:25:35,137 --> 00:25:38,000 - I'll go all the way to the track. 405 00:25:38,068 --> 00:25:39,586 - [Alice] You're gonna go all the way to track? 406 00:25:39,655 --> 00:25:40,896 - To the woods. 407 00:25:42,862 --> 00:25:45,413 - And you're gonna take a plane. 408 00:25:46,241 --> 00:25:47,896 You go up, up, up. 409 00:26:07,689 --> 00:26:10,034 - He's sad. 410 00:26:10,103 --> 00:26:11,862 Now he's sad again. 411 00:26:16,068 --> 00:26:16,551 No, don't be sad. 412 00:26:19,586 --> 00:26:21,137 You're sad again. 413 00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:23,448 - [Woman] It's okay, here. 414 00:26:28,275 --> 00:26:29,344 Don't be sad, Daddy. 415 00:26:29,413 --> 00:26:30,448 - [Jase] Don't be sad. 416 00:26:33,724 --> 00:26:35,310 - [Woman] Don't be sad, Daddy. 417 00:26:39,137 --> 00:26:40,275 [laughs] 418 00:26:40,344 --> 00:26:44,103 [muffled chatting] 419 00:26:50,034 --> 00:26:52,310 [soft music] 420 00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:02,758 - [Woman] No, no, no, no. 421 00:27:03,827 --> 00:27:06,310 [soft music] 422 00:27:12,827 --> 00:27:13,620 Okay. 423 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,000 - Thank you. 424 00:27:19,206 --> 00:27:21,482 [soft music] 425 00:28:58,206 --> 00:28:58,517 - Good morning. 426 00:29:03,206 --> 00:29:04,896 Having trouble with your legs last night? 427 00:29:04,965 --> 00:29:06,275 - [Jason] Nope. 428 00:29:14,310 --> 00:29:16,689 [cat meows] 429 00:29:18,586 --> 00:29:21,034 [soft music] 430 00:29:37,413 --> 00:29:39,275 - Okay, coming down. 431 00:29:42,379 --> 00:29:42,448 Here we go. 432 00:29:44,586 --> 00:29:46,724 [groans] 433 00:29:52,724 --> 00:29:54,482 [phone ringing] 434 00:29:57,448 --> 00:30:00,068 - Hey Jase, how are things there? 435 00:30:01,137 --> 00:30:02,655 You can turn it to the side. 436 00:30:07,448 --> 00:30:09,620 There, that's so much better. 437 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,379 Put it the other way, it's better. 438 00:30:16,724 --> 00:30:18,655 - I can see you more, Jase. 439 00:30:20,206 --> 00:30:21,000 - No. 440 00:30:22,758 --> 00:30:25,482 Do it like that. 441 00:30:25,551 --> 00:30:26,931 - Don't do that. 442 00:30:29,241 --> 00:30:32,103 Put it the other way, it's better. 443 00:30:34,206 --> 00:30:35,448 [laughs] 444 00:30:38,241 --> 00:30:40,620 - [Jase] Now can you get some more dirt for me? 445 00:30:40,689 --> 00:30:43,965 - [Alice] Yeah, let's go get more dirt. 446 00:30:48,965 --> 00:30:49,482 - Wow, this is really fun. 447 00:30:55,241 --> 00:30:57,758 [soft music] 448 00:31:16,034 --> 00:31:18,344 - [Jason] Do people ever go blind because of MS? 449 00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:20,655 - You can. 450 00:31:20,724 --> 00:31:22,137 I would say it's definitely the exception. 451 00:31:22,206 --> 00:31:24,689 Usually, you're not blind blind, 452 00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:27,034 which is the good thing, at least. 453 00:31:27,103 --> 00:31:28,379 Not that, I believe for a filmmaker, 454 00:31:28,448 --> 00:31:30,965 this degree of impairment obviously 455 00:31:31,034 --> 00:31:33,000 is a major impact. 456 00:31:33,068 --> 00:31:36,586 But it's, yeah, that's the nice thing, 457 00:31:36,655 --> 00:31:40,689 is that you're usually not left totally blind. 458 00:31:40,758 --> 00:31:42,206 - Yeah, okay, cool. 459 00:31:43,517 --> 00:31:46,000 [soft music] 460 00:31:48,275 --> 00:31:49,724 - I'll show you a little vocal warmup 461 00:31:49,793 --> 00:31:52,000 that we haven't done before. 462 00:31:52,068 --> 00:31:53,758 So can you do a yawn sigh? 463 00:31:53,827 --> 00:31:55,482 Sort of a yawn and a sigh together. 464 00:31:55,551 --> 00:31:57,000 So it's like this. 465 00:31:57,068 --> 00:31:58,482 [yawning] 466 00:32:01,137 --> 00:32:03,137 And now we'll do the fog horn. 467 00:32:04,241 --> 00:32:05,448 [moaning] 468 00:32:08,344 --> 00:32:12,034 Can we do our sustained ah? 469 00:32:12,103 --> 00:32:14,275 [moaning] 470 00:32:19,689 --> 00:32:20,379 That's enough, yeah, good time. 471 00:32:22,862 --> 00:32:23,655 That's awesome. 472 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:27,241 [moaning] 473 00:32:32,344 --> 00:32:33,931 That's it, you did great. 474 00:32:35,931 --> 00:32:39,379 - In addition to problems seeing, talking, 475 00:32:39,448 --> 00:32:42,241 swallowing, and breathing, 476 00:32:42,310 --> 00:32:44,551 I can no longer use my hands. 477 00:32:45,827 --> 00:32:48,965 I am officially quadriplegic. 478 00:32:50,413 --> 00:32:52,931 For years, I've been tracking myself 479 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,931 on the Expanded Disability Standard Scale. 480 00:32:57,482 --> 00:33:00,724 I'm now a nine, which means I can't care for myself 481 00:33:00,793 --> 00:33:03,000 and I'm restricted to a wheelchair. 482 00:33:04,206 --> 00:33:06,172 Jase, this is hard to talk about, 483 00:33:06,241 --> 00:33:07,827 but you should know, 484 00:33:07,896 --> 00:33:10,931 there's only two stops left on the scale. 485 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,413 9.5, which means I can't communicate or eat, 486 00:33:15,482 --> 00:33:17,862 and 10, which is death. 487 00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:22,655 So right now I'm at an EDSS score of nine. 488 00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:26,413 So how much time do I have? 489 00:33:26,482 --> 00:33:29,000 Because I do know that 10 is death. 490 00:33:29,896 --> 00:33:31,448 - No one can say. 491 00:33:31,517 --> 00:33:33,827 Because it's still your body. 492 00:33:33,896 --> 00:33:35,793 Your body, how it take, 493 00:33:35,862 --> 00:33:39,000 fight with all the other comorbidities 494 00:33:39,068 --> 00:33:40,379 that comes on that time. 495 00:33:40,448 --> 00:33:45,103 Because 9.5, you need ventilation to breathe. 496 00:33:45,172 --> 00:33:49,344 You need external sources for nutrition and everything. 497 00:33:49,413 --> 00:33:52,000 So, you're still alive, 498 00:33:52,068 --> 00:33:54,310 but with the machines. 499 00:33:54,379 --> 00:33:59,034 Your whole system are shutting down gradually. 500 00:33:59,103 --> 00:34:00,448 That I can say. 501 00:34:00,517 --> 00:34:03,310 It's not good to say, but I'm sorry. 502 00:34:03,379 --> 00:34:06,000 [laughing] 503 00:34:06,068 --> 00:34:08,137 - It's okay. - Okay. 504 00:34:08,206 --> 00:34:11,517 So, this is sad part to discuss, 505 00:34:11,586 --> 00:34:14,172 but still, this is reality. 506 00:34:14,241 --> 00:34:15,689 - Exactly. - That's important. 507 00:34:15,758 --> 00:34:19,551 - I mean, it's more important to me to know these things 508 00:34:19,620 --> 00:34:21,103 than to not know these things. 509 00:34:21,172 --> 00:34:22,137 - Yes. 510 00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:28,965 - Okay, put your head back down for me. 511 00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:29,965 Is that a comfortable spot 512 00:34:30,034 --> 00:34:32,655 or do you need it back further? 513 00:34:32,724 --> 00:34:36,103 - Another point on the scale means another change 514 00:34:36,172 --> 00:34:38,620 so I can keep moving around. 515 00:34:38,689 --> 00:34:40,275 - Let's go for a spin. 516 00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:41,551 Just to see you drive. 517 00:34:45,655 --> 00:34:47,965 Head back at the same time. 518 00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:54,724 Let the chair travel straight. 519 00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:57,241 You keep trying to straighten it, you're fine. 520 00:34:57,310 --> 00:35:00,034 Keep your head in the middle. 521 00:35:00,103 --> 00:35:01,068 You got it. 522 00:35:01,137 --> 00:35:02,586 - Yeah, it's good. 523 00:35:06,068 --> 00:35:08,000 - Stop, stop, stop, ah! 524 00:35:11,448 --> 00:35:12,344 - Look ma, no hands. 525 00:35:18,206 --> 00:35:21,137 Jase, if you ever get in a difficult situation, 526 00:35:21,206 --> 00:35:23,241 don't be afraid to ask for help. 527 00:35:26,482 --> 00:35:27,758 That's what I have to do. 528 00:35:27,827 --> 00:35:30,103 I need new assistants to both take care of me 529 00:35:30,172 --> 00:35:31,379 and help me with my work. 530 00:35:31,448 --> 00:35:33,896 I'll just run through my schedule. 531 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:37,000 So, I get up and get ready. 532 00:35:37,068 --> 00:35:40,620 I need somebody's help to change my clothes, 533 00:35:40,689 --> 00:35:43,896 brush my teeth, putting on my shoes. 534 00:35:43,965 --> 00:35:47,000 I would need help transferring to my wheelchair. 535 00:35:47,068 --> 00:35:50,586 Get coffee in the morning, take my medication. 536 00:35:50,655 --> 00:35:53,827 Do things like look at the computer and type. 537 00:35:53,896 --> 00:35:56,793 So I'll need you to read back the emails to me 538 00:35:56,862 --> 00:35:59,862 'cause I can't really see the screen. 539 00:35:59,931 --> 00:36:04,586 And what about using the urinal or the bathroom? 540 00:36:04,655 --> 00:36:07,482 Do you feel comfortable about doing those things? 541 00:36:07,551 --> 00:36:08,793 - [Candidate] Sure. 542 00:36:08,862 --> 00:36:10,103 - Do you think that you could do that? 543 00:36:10,172 --> 00:36:11,275 - [Candidate] Yeah. 544 00:36:11,344 --> 00:36:16,000 - I'm very disabled and very busy. 545 00:36:16,068 --> 00:36:17,551 I go to film festivals. 546 00:36:17,620 --> 00:36:20,206 I went to the White House two weeks ago. 547 00:36:20,275 --> 00:36:24,068 Two nights ago, I was just in the Korean ambassador's house. 548 00:36:24,137 --> 00:36:26,310 So are you okay with working late though? 549 00:36:26,379 --> 00:36:28,137 Are you wanting just the day shift 550 00:36:28,206 --> 00:36:30,172 or the night shift? 551 00:36:30,241 --> 00:36:31,827 Do you have any questions for me? 552 00:36:31,896 --> 00:36:33,034 - [Candidate] Um... 553 00:36:33,103 --> 00:36:34,724 - [Candidate] Um... 554 00:36:34,793 --> 00:36:39,034 - [Candidate] Um... [doorbell rings] 555 00:36:39,103 --> 00:36:40,448 - Hey, morning, Jason. 556 00:36:40,517 --> 00:36:43,310 - [Jason] So I hired the best assistants that I can. 557 00:36:43,379 --> 00:36:45,517 - Yeah, see you tomorrow. 558 00:36:47,275 --> 00:36:48,482 - [Assistant] Hey, Jason. 559 00:36:48,551 --> 00:36:51,034 - [Assistant] Bye, Jason. 560 00:36:51,103 --> 00:36:52,482 - Hey, Jessica. - Hey. 561 00:36:52,551 --> 00:36:54,896 - Hey, George. - Hey, Jason. 562 00:36:59,517 --> 00:37:00,620 - Bye. - Bye. 563 00:37:06,137 --> 00:37:08,689 [phone ringing] 564 00:37:12,137 --> 00:37:14,241 How was school today? 565 00:37:14,310 --> 00:37:16,379 [babbling] 566 00:37:17,206 --> 00:37:18,241 Was it fun? 567 00:37:19,758 --> 00:37:22,827 [babbling] 568 00:37:22,896 --> 00:37:23,413 Was it really fun? 569 00:37:25,689 --> 00:37:28,448 [babbling] 570 00:37:28,517 --> 00:37:30,137 You're being really silly. 571 00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,206 Say something in English. 572 00:37:36,620 --> 00:37:38,137 Say some words. 573 00:37:38,206 --> 00:37:40,551 [babbling] 574 00:37:40,620 --> 00:37:42,310 Say some real words. 575 00:37:45,172 --> 00:37:47,517 Okay bye, Alice. 576 00:37:47,586 --> 00:37:49,000 - [Alice] What? 577 00:37:49,068 --> 00:37:50,206 - He's not talking. 578 00:37:51,689 --> 00:37:53,827 - [Alice] Jase ate so much food today. 579 00:37:55,068 --> 00:37:57,000 - That's good, Jase, you're getting big. 580 00:37:57,068 --> 00:38:01,655 I honestly can't keep doing all this by myself. 581 00:38:03,310 --> 00:38:04,689 Really, really hard. 582 00:38:04,758 --> 00:38:07,931 I didn't do anything wrong for you guys to go. 583 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,689 - [Jase] Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. 584 00:38:09,758 --> 00:38:11,931 - I'm sorry, I disagree but-- 585 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,344 - Yeah I know-- 586 00:38:13,413 --> 00:38:15,896 - Fully, but I'm gonna-- - Why do you disagree? 587 00:38:17,448 --> 00:38:21,206 - I can earn a higher, much better, 588 00:38:21,275 --> 00:38:23,758 I can give Jase a much better life here. 589 00:38:23,827 --> 00:38:25,068 I'm 20 times better here. 590 00:38:26,586 --> 00:38:30,655 - So is that reason enough to move away from his father? 591 00:38:30,724 --> 00:38:31,655 You think that's reason enough 592 00:38:31,724 --> 00:38:33,137 to take him away from his father? 593 00:38:33,206 --> 00:38:35,068 - I can't make it in New York. 594 00:38:35,137 --> 00:38:36,379 Yeah, it is. - You can make it fine 595 00:38:36,448 --> 00:38:38,206 in New York but whatever. 596 00:38:39,206 --> 00:38:42,379 Maybe you win. - I just can't do that. 597 00:38:43,620 --> 00:38:44,931 - That's not true. - I couldn't make it 598 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,206 in New York. 599 00:38:46,275 --> 00:38:48,034 So I'm gonna take them, 600 00:38:48,103 --> 00:38:49,310 I gotta get him some dinner. 601 00:38:51,482 --> 00:38:53,586 And we can talk to you after if you want. 602 00:38:55,517 --> 00:38:56,448 - Okay. 603 00:38:56,517 --> 00:38:58,344 - Okay, all right, bye. 604 00:39:02,068 --> 00:39:04,172 So this is us on a typical day. 605 00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:05,517 This is Jason's editing. 606 00:39:05,586 --> 00:39:09,586 - I'm still confused as to why your mom left. 607 00:39:09,655 --> 00:39:11,862 So I end up looking for answers 608 00:39:11,931 --> 00:39:14,413 in an unexpected place. 609 00:39:14,482 --> 00:39:15,724 My last film. 610 00:39:15,793 --> 00:39:18,758 - Don't want Jason getting any worse. 611 00:39:18,827 --> 00:39:21,965 And it just keeps coming. 612 00:39:22,862 --> 00:39:26,379 It's like I take his hands a lot. 613 00:39:28,620 --> 00:39:31,793 How fast he talks and how loud he talks. 614 00:39:31,862 --> 00:39:33,068 - Do you ever wish that you were 615 00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:34,827 with somebody able-bodied? 616 00:39:36,241 --> 00:39:41,241 - Yeah, but I wish, I wish you were able-bodied. 617 00:39:42,206 --> 00:39:44,482 That's who I wish I was with. 618 00:39:44,551 --> 00:39:48,862 - [Jason] What happens when I can't eat my food? 619 00:39:48,931 --> 00:39:51,068 Will you be the person that feeds me? 620 00:39:51,137 --> 00:39:54,034 Will we come to a restaurant 621 00:39:54,103 --> 00:39:56,103 and then you feed me the food and then 622 00:39:56,172 --> 00:39:56,517 eat your own food too? 623 00:39:58,413 --> 00:40:02,793 In front of everybody else to watch? 624 00:40:02,862 --> 00:40:04,379 - I don't know, I don't know. 625 00:40:10,034 --> 00:40:11,275 - Why are you going on a trip? 626 00:40:11,344 --> 00:40:14,103 - Going on a trip to get away from you. 627 00:40:14,172 --> 00:40:16,068 I'm on the verge of insanity. 628 00:40:16,137 --> 00:40:17,482 I have to leave for my own mental-- 629 00:40:19,206 --> 00:40:20,517 - Yeah, I know. - State. 630 00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:21,379 - Yeah. 631 00:40:22,965 --> 00:40:25,068 - I've been taking care of you for two years straight 632 00:40:25,137 --> 00:40:27,724 and I-- - Yeah, take a break. 633 00:40:27,793 --> 00:40:30,241 - The shittiest part of this whole thing 634 00:40:30,310 --> 00:40:31,517 is that we're trapped. 635 00:40:31,586 --> 00:40:34,517 - I was too caught up with making the film 636 00:40:34,586 --> 00:40:35,448 and dealing with my own MS. 637 00:40:37,827 --> 00:40:39,758 I just saw her love for me, 638 00:40:39,827 --> 00:40:43,482 not her concern about the burden she was taking on. 639 00:40:45,689 --> 00:40:47,724 I talked to my friend Alberto 640 00:40:47,793 --> 00:40:49,551 to get his thoughts. 641 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:52,206 So you and I have known each other for a long time, so-- 642 00:40:52,275 --> 00:40:54,793 - Almost 10 years or something. 643 00:40:54,862 --> 00:40:55,758 - Yeah, that's right. 644 00:40:55,827 --> 00:40:58,000 So I know that your partner left 645 00:40:59,103 --> 00:41:01,586 something similar to what happened to me. 646 00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:04,103 How did you deal with that? 647 00:41:04,172 --> 00:41:06,000 - If you want me to be honest to you, 648 00:41:08,793 --> 00:41:12,517 and not taking sides or just being more logic and fair, 649 00:41:13,689 --> 00:41:17,758 I don't blame them for wanting to leave. 650 00:41:17,827 --> 00:41:21,413 I mean, imagine waking up to someone 651 00:41:21,482 --> 00:41:24,344 covered in piss, stiff, next to you. 652 00:41:24,413 --> 00:41:26,034 It must be hard. 653 00:41:26,103 --> 00:41:31,068 And if I could run away from myself, I would. 654 00:41:32,172 --> 00:41:34,896 I felt like if I was not disabled, 655 00:41:34,965 --> 00:41:36,103 things could've worked. 656 00:41:37,275 --> 00:41:39,379 Just have this fire inside of me 657 00:41:39,448 --> 00:41:41,344 that just wants to get up and run 658 00:41:41,413 --> 00:41:46,413 and take life by the horns like I used to do. 659 00:41:48,689 --> 00:41:50,827 - I feel exactly the same way. 660 00:41:52,034 --> 00:41:54,206 And that's why I'm trying to do what I do. 661 00:41:54,275 --> 00:41:56,137 That's why I keep on doing what I do. 662 00:41:56,206 --> 00:41:58,413 - That's why I'm right here with you, 663 00:41:58,482 --> 00:42:02,000 because to me, you're an example for me 664 00:42:02,068 --> 00:42:03,344 as a disabled person, 665 00:42:03,413 --> 00:42:06,862 and for a lot of walking people that 666 00:42:06,931 --> 00:42:10,517 they have all the tools 667 00:42:10,586 --> 00:42:12,103 and they don't do much. 668 00:42:12,172 --> 00:42:13,620 - Problem is there's my kid 669 00:42:13,689 --> 00:42:16,000 in the middle of it all. 670 00:42:16,068 --> 00:42:19,103 So, I want to be close to my kid. 671 00:42:19,172 --> 00:42:21,275 - [Alberto] As you should be. 672 00:42:21,344 --> 00:42:22,448 And you're just being a good dad, 673 00:42:22,517 --> 00:42:25,068 a normal person, a normal dad, 674 00:42:25,137 --> 00:42:27,241 by trying to be close to your son 675 00:42:27,310 --> 00:42:29,413 and give him all the knowledge 676 00:42:29,482 --> 00:42:31,931 and love that you can. 677 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:32,310 - [Jason] Yep. 678 00:42:39,206 --> 00:42:41,931 I see similarities between what you're going through 679 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:46,137 and what I went through when my parents split up. 680 00:42:46,206 --> 00:42:49,068 I asked my mom about how their marriage ended. 681 00:43:26,172 --> 00:43:27,172 - All right. 682 00:43:27,241 --> 00:43:29,724 - [Jason] Your grandmother doesn't want 683 00:43:29,793 --> 00:43:32,137 to talk about her kids being hurt by the divorce. 684 00:43:32,206 --> 00:43:33,965 I understand. 685 00:43:34,034 --> 00:43:35,103 I don't want you to be hurt 686 00:43:35,172 --> 00:43:37,862 by your mom and me splitting up. 687 00:43:37,931 --> 00:43:39,448 [soft music] 688 00:43:45,068 --> 00:43:47,103 I miss you so much. 689 00:43:47,172 --> 00:43:48,724 I go to Austin to visit you. 690 00:43:50,413 --> 00:43:53,931 On the way there, I stop in Utah to see my dad. 691 00:43:56,689 --> 00:43:57,724 - I'm ready for the lesson. 692 00:43:57,793 --> 00:43:58,586 Okay, go for it. 693 00:44:12,724 --> 00:44:13,724 Right or left. 694 00:44:30,379 --> 00:44:35,172 - [Jason] Yeah, good. 695 00:44:37,034 --> 00:44:39,103 When you were growing up, 696 00:44:39,172 --> 00:44:41,448 you always wanted to be kind of creative 697 00:44:41,517 --> 00:44:43,482 and do stuff with film. 698 00:44:43,551 --> 00:44:45,103 And you have another side to this. 699 00:44:45,172 --> 00:44:47,896 It's the music side of it. 700 00:44:47,965 --> 00:44:51,206 So you did some when you were probably 701 00:44:51,275 --> 00:44:54,206 in your late teens and stuff. 702 00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:56,482 You had a band going strong. 703 00:44:56,551 --> 00:44:59,000 You did a little Canadian tour. 704 00:44:59,068 --> 00:45:02,103 - But your dad used to play 705 00:45:02,172 --> 00:45:04,275 a really good classical piano. 706 00:45:04,344 --> 00:45:09,344 - Oh yeah, Jase should keep the ball rolling 707 00:45:10,551 --> 00:45:14,379 by keeping on that musical family line, 708 00:45:14,448 --> 00:45:18,379 so to speak, from my dad through me through you. 709 00:45:18,448 --> 00:45:20,586 And I can bring him over, 710 00:45:20,655 --> 00:45:24,655 I'll go wherever he is and show him the ropes. 711 00:45:24,724 --> 00:45:26,068 - Thanks a lot. 712 00:45:26,137 --> 00:45:27,206 That's very helpful. 713 00:45:27,275 --> 00:45:28,758 - That's what fathers are for, yes. 714 00:45:30,103 --> 00:45:31,517 Teaching you how to play piano. 715 00:45:35,103 --> 00:45:36,896 - I didn't realize it but 716 00:45:36,965 --> 00:45:38,482 you went through a lot of the same things 717 00:45:38,551 --> 00:45:40,206 I went through. 718 00:45:40,275 --> 00:45:42,068 - Very true. 719 00:45:42,137 --> 00:45:45,241 It's just getting used to an empty house. 720 00:45:45,310 --> 00:45:47,172 Coming back to an empty house. 721 00:45:47,241 --> 00:45:50,655 But after some time, things heal. 722 00:45:50,724 --> 00:45:51,827 Because you guys are still around, 723 00:45:51,896 --> 00:45:54,137 so I could see you from time to time. 724 00:45:54,206 --> 00:45:57,034 Your situation, that's more traumatic. 725 00:45:58,413 --> 00:46:01,275 - It's a matter of getting used to it in time, I guess. 726 00:46:03,034 --> 00:46:04,965 I decide then and there 727 00:46:05,034 --> 00:46:08,482 not to let time and distance be an obstacle for us. 728 00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:14,827 - [Flight Attendant] Up, need up. 729 00:46:16,206 --> 00:46:18,000 - Here we go. 730 00:46:18,068 --> 00:46:21,241 [upbeat mellow music] 731 00:46:26,965 --> 00:46:27,310 - Do you need help? - No! 732 00:46:31,206 --> 00:46:35,344 - Jase and I, we got a really cool train yesterday. 733 00:46:37,241 --> 00:46:40,862 And it's the same color as, 734 00:46:40,931 --> 00:46:43,103 it's his favorite color, is blue. 735 00:46:43,172 --> 00:46:44,758 Do you want to show them the train? 736 00:46:44,827 --> 00:46:46,620 Show the camera the train. 737 00:46:46,689 --> 00:46:48,103 Yeah! 738 00:46:48,172 --> 00:46:49,896 It's so cool. 739 00:46:49,965 --> 00:46:51,448 Where we're going now. 740 00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:53,448 Now when we're together in Austin, 741 00:46:53,517 --> 00:46:55,862 it's just you and me. 742 00:46:56,758 --> 00:46:58,448 And my care aides. 743 00:46:58,517 --> 00:46:59,862 And your babysitters. 744 00:47:01,275 --> 00:47:02,172 We're gonna go there. 745 00:47:02,241 --> 00:47:03,896 Do you want to go see a monkey? 746 00:47:03,965 --> 00:47:06,724 I need to be in Texas with you. 747 00:47:06,793 --> 00:47:08,827 I just have to make sure my carer 748 00:47:08,896 --> 00:47:11,724 will be comfortable navigating. 749 00:47:11,793 --> 00:47:13,655 [phone ringing] 750 00:47:13,724 --> 00:47:15,137 - [Andrew] It's Andrew, how can I help you today? 751 00:47:15,206 --> 00:47:21,068 - Hi, I'm calling if you know details about home care. 752 00:47:21,137 --> 00:47:22,137 - Yeah, that's right. 753 00:47:39,448 --> 00:47:40,896 - I'm just wondering if there's a way 754 00:47:40,965 --> 00:47:44,586 to stay at home rather than be admitted. 755 00:47:44,655 --> 00:47:47,275 Would I have to be in one of these nursing homes then? 756 00:47:56,724 --> 00:47:58,137 - And then you're still only able to get 757 00:47:58,206 --> 00:48:02,310 between 40 and 50 hours a week. 758 00:48:14,793 --> 00:48:16,275 - As part of my research, 759 00:48:16,344 --> 00:48:19,000 I interview people with disabilities 760 00:48:19,068 --> 00:48:21,689 and their supporters in Texas. 761 00:48:23,586 --> 00:48:27,034 So I found out that Texas is one of the 762 00:48:27,103 --> 00:48:32,068 worst places to come to be a person on Medicaid. 763 00:48:33,275 --> 00:48:35,379 So I guess the question is, is that the case? 764 00:48:35,448 --> 00:48:37,896 - Oh yeah, it's absolutely the case. 765 00:48:37,965 --> 00:48:41,586 In fact, the rankings you've seen are correct. 766 00:48:41,655 --> 00:48:45,068 Texas, its most recent one ranks 50th 767 00:48:45,137 --> 00:48:46,827 in community services for people with 768 00:48:46,896 --> 00:48:48,448 intellectual and developmental disabilities. 769 00:48:48,517 --> 00:48:52,172 So, that includes the district of Columbia, 770 00:48:52,241 --> 00:48:53,793 so there's 51 on the list. 771 00:48:53,862 --> 00:48:57,068 So there's, somebody's below us but 772 00:48:57,137 --> 00:49:00,000 we're right down there at the very bottom of the barrel. 773 00:49:00,068 --> 00:49:02,172 - [Jason] So, do you have an answer 774 00:49:02,241 --> 00:49:04,448 as to what I can do to be closer to my son? 775 00:49:07,620 --> 00:49:09,931 - I've thought about this 776 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,655 as long as you and I have been talking. 777 00:49:11,724 --> 00:49:15,241 We've done phone calls and emails and stuff. 778 00:49:15,310 --> 00:49:20,310 And it's almost like you'd have to reconfigure 779 00:49:21,137 --> 00:49:22,620 your life entirely, Jason. 780 00:49:22,689 --> 00:49:26,724 And by that, you would maybe have to find a partner, 781 00:49:26,793 --> 00:49:30,000 a life partner, who would be willing 782 00:49:30,068 --> 00:49:32,862 to move to Texas with you 783 00:49:32,931 --> 00:49:37,137 and fill in the gaps that you would lose. 784 00:49:37,206 --> 00:49:39,965 That you'd lose in Medicaid coverage. 785 00:49:40,034 --> 00:49:45,000 Because I just can't see that you could come here, 786 00:49:45,689 --> 00:49:46,586 be close to your son, 787 00:49:46,655 --> 00:49:48,172 and find yourself in a position 788 00:49:48,241 --> 00:49:50,034 that the only way you can get the care you need 789 00:49:50,103 --> 00:49:51,896 is to go into a nursing home. 790 00:49:51,965 --> 00:49:54,758 And you'd find yourself, again, 791 00:49:54,827 --> 00:49:58,068 isolated from the child you want to be close to. 792 00:49:58,137 --> 00:50:00,689 This is just insane. 793 00:50:03,206 --> 00:50:06,551 - So, what do you think I should know in my situation? 794 00:50:06,620 --> 00:50:08,137 I want to be closer to my son, 795 00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:10,137 but I can't move here without 796 00:50:10,206 --> 00:50:11,620 going into a nursing home 797 00:50:11,689 --> 00:50:15,931 or getting the minimum amount of hours. 798 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,793 - We tell our New York brothers and sisters, 799 00:50:17,862 --> 00:50:19,965 it's a different world. 800 00:50:20,034 --> 00:50:21,172 It really is. 801 00:50:21,241 --> 00:50:23,137 It's the nature of the Medicaid program. 802 00:50:23,206 --> 00:50:26,965 It's always been a state federal share. 803 00:50:27,034 --> 00:50:28,413 Different than Medicare. 804 00:50:29,586 --> 00:50:33,172 Medicaid dollars are only drawn down 805 00:50:33,241 --> 00:50:35,724 by how much money the state puts up. 806 00:50:35,793 --> 00:50:38,103 There's no income tax in Texas. 807 00:50:38,172 --> 00:50:42,344 So, it makes our whole revenue base much lower 808 00:50:42,413 --> 00:50:43,931 than other states. 809 00:50:45,137 --> 00:50:46,206 - [Jason] So how do people with disabilities 810 00:50:46,275 --> 00:50:49,000 even survive here in Texas? 811 00:50:49,896 --> 00:50:52,482 - I have a dramatic brain injury 812 00:50:54,896 --> 00:50:59,862 caused by a motor vehicle accident. 813 00:51:02,137 --> 00:51:04,586 - Most people don't know anything about disabled people 814 00:51:04,655 --> 00:51:07,344 until they have a loved one that becomes disabled 815 00:51:07,413 --> 00:51:09,758 or they're disabled themselves. 816 00:51:09,827 --> 00:51:11,275 That's the wrong time to find out 817 00:51:11,344 --> 00:51:13,827 that we're on the short end of the stick. 818 00:51:13,896 --> 00:51:15,551 It doesn't make any sense to have one state 819 00:51:15,620 --> 00:51:17,103 that has one set of rules, 820 00:51:17,172 --> 00:51:19,137 that people would have to actually 821 00:51:19,206 --> 00:51:20,965 move to a state or move somewhere else 822 00:51:21,034 --> 00:51:22,275 other than their home 823 00:51:22,344 --> 00:51:25,000 to get certain benefits. 824 00:51:26,344 --> 00:51:29,000 - [Jason] Maybe I could live in a neighboring state. 825 00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:35,310 [phone ringing] 826 00:51:51,655 --> 00:51:52,655 [phone ringing] 827 00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:06,034 - [Machine] One moment while we transfer you 828 00:52:06,103 --> 00:52:07,931 to a customer service representative. 829 00:52:16,551 --> 00:52:16,655 - Oh. 830 00:52:18,551 --> 00:52:20,413 I zeroed in on the healthcare 831 00:52:20,482 --> 00:52:22,379 across the different states in the US. 832 00:52:24,413 --> 00:52:26,620 I look at every state in the country 833 00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:30,000 to see how well they support people with disabilities. 834 00:52:31,103 --> 00:52:32,448 Topping the charts, 835 00:52:32,517 --> 00:52:36,275 Arizona, Vermont, Michigan, 836 00:52:36,344 --> 00:52:39,620 New Hampshire, and the lovely Hawaii. 837 00:52:39,689 --> 00:52:41,241 And down at the bottom, 838 00:52:41,310 --> 00:52:45,344 we find Illinois, Arkansas, 839 00:52:45,413 --> 00:52:48,413 Mississippi, Montana, 840 00:52:48,482 --> 00:52:50,620 and Texas. 841 00:52:51,793 --> 00:52:54,068 Of the 50 states plus Washington DC, 842 00:52:54,137 --> 00:52:55,896 New York is number one for supporting 843 00:52:55,965 --> 00:52:57,379 people with disabilities, 844 00:52:57,448 --> 00:52:59,551 while Texas clocks in at 50. 845 00:53:01,551 --> 00:53:03,551 [thunder rumbles] 846 00:53:06,586 --> 00:53:10,827 These basic support services for people with disabilities 847 00:53:10,896 --> 00:53:12,379 are a human right. 848 00:53:18,275 --> 00:53:20,413 [muffled chatting] 849 00:53:23,965 --> 00:53:25,620 The only way to live in Texas 850 00:53:25,689 --> 00:53:28,068 is to live in a nursing home. 851 00:53:28,137 --> 00:53:29,862 - Okay, one, two, three. 852 00:53:31,172 --> 00:53:32,551 - [Jason] So, I give it a try. 853 00:53:33,862 --> 00:53:35,344 [soft music] 854 00:53:42,172 --> 00:53:43,344 [knocking] 855 00:53:43,413 --> 00:53:44,586 - [Nurse] Good morning. 856 00:53:46,068 --> 00:53:48,172 - Could you push it up? 857 00:53:48,241 --> 00:53:50,793 - Up in the front? - Yeah, yeah. 858 00:53:53,137 --> 00:53:55,172 Yeah, that's-- 859 00:53:55,241 --> 00:53:56,172 - [Nurse] Is that good? 860 00:53:56,241 --> 00:53:57,344 Can you see it? 861 00:53:57,413 --> 00:54:00,413 Oh, here. [laughs] - I can't see it. 862 00:54:00,482 --> 00:54:02,586 Can you put a washcloth on my face? 863 00:54:02,655 --> 00:54:04,517 - [Nurse] Just a warm washcloth sitting on there? 864 00:54:04,586 --> 00:54:06,896 Okay, yeah, let me get a clean one. 865 00:54:09,034 --> 00:54:10,206 I don't know if that's-- 866 00:54:10,275 --> 00:54:12,310 - No, I mean, if you could just get the-- 867 00:54:12,379 --> 00:54:14,172 - [Nurse] Oh, just want it over your eyes. 868 00:54:14,241 --> 00:54:15,724 Okay, sorry. 869 00:54:15,793 --> 00:54:18,068 I thought you meant to open your pores or something. 870 00:54:18,137 --> 00:54:19,724 [laughs] Sorry. 871 00:54:28,172 --> 00:54:30,103 You're on thin liquids? 872 00:54:30,172 --> 00:54:31,344 - Nope. 873 00:54:31,413 --> 00:54:33,482 - [Nurse] Does he need thickened liquids 874 00:54:33,551 --> 00:54:35,689 or is he on thin liquids? 875 00:54:36,965 --> 00:54:38,413 - What do you mean? 876 00:54:38,482 --> 00:54:39,517 - [Nurse] I just want to make sure 877 00:54:39,586 --> 00:54:41,310 'cause I don't wanna choke you. 878 00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:46,896 - Regular liquids is fine. - Regular, okay. 879 00:54:48,103 --> 00:54:49,551 One more drink? 880 00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:50,586 - No. - Okay. 881 00:54:51,862 --> 00:54:53,344 [soft music] 882 00:55:07,586 --> 00:55:09,827 - [Jason] So his name is Jase. 883 00:55:09,896 --> 00:55:11,068 - Jase? - Jase. 884 00:55:13,344 --> 00:55:14,275 Yeah. 885 00:55:16,068 --> 00:55:17,551 Yeah, he's four years old. 886 00:55:19,482 --> 00:55:21,655 The old people here are older than me. 887 00:55:22,896 --> 00:55:24,827 They're all older people. 888 00:55:24,896 --> 00:55:26,413 But they're really nice. 889 00:55:29,172 --> 00:55:30,586 - Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. 890 00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:34,689 - Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. 891 00:55:34,758 --> 00:55:36,379 - Hey, let's go. 892 00:55:36,448 --> 00:55:38,000 - Okay, let's go. 893 00:55:44,517 --> 00:55:45,793 Say bye, Jase. 894 00:55:45,862 --> 00:55:46,793 - Bye. 895 00:55:46,862 --> 00:55:47,655 - Bye. 896 00:55:49,068 --> 00:55:52,517 - It turns out that 50 to 60% of people 897 00:55:52,586 --> 00:55:55,724 die within the first year of living in a nursing home. 898 00:55:57,793 --> 00:55:59,068 Jase, I want to say to you 899 00:55:59,137 --> 00:56:01,379 that I want to be here with you but 900 00:56:03,275 --> 00:56:05,344 I would die a slow death 901 00:56:06,206 --> 00:56:09,137 or die a pretty quick death. 902 00:56:09,206 --> 00:56:13,172 So, sorry, but I'm not gonna be able to do this. 903 00:56:14,931 --> 00:56:15,551 So, see you later. 904 00:56:24,344 --> 00:56:25,827 When I get back to New York, 905 00:56:25,896 --> 00:56:28,448 I asked my mom what she thinks about the nursing home. 906 00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:34,172 - [Marianne] Do you want to live in Austin, Texas? 907 00:56:34,241 --> 00:56:36,068 - I would live in Austin, Texas 908 00:56:36,137 --> 00:56:38,206 if it was okay to live there. 909 00:56:38,275 --> 00:56:39,758 - So is there a guarantee that you have 910 00:56:39,827 --> 00:56:42,068 your own place to live with caregivers? 911 00:56:42,137 --> 00:56:43,896 Is that a guarantee right now? 912 00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,000 Now, next month, is there a guarantee? 913 00:56:47,448 --> 00:56:48,137 - I don't have a choice. - This is your choice. 914 00:56:48,206 --> 00:56:49,448 You have a choice. 915 00:56:49,517 --> 00:56:51,103 You have a choice to live independently here 916 00:56:51,172 --> 00:56:53,000 or you have a choice- - Or to be by my son? 917 00:56:53,068 --> 00:56:55,413 - Or to be institutionalized. 918 00:56:55,482 --> 00:56:56,620 - The choice is 919 00:56:56,689 --> 00:56:57,517 to be by my son. - Your son might not 920 00:56:57,586 --> 00:56:58,620 be able to visit you that often, 921 00:56:58,689 --> 00:57:00,172 and you think 'cause you're-- 922 00:57:00,241 --> 00:57:01,344 - What if I was in there-- 923 00:57:01,413 --> 00:57:01,482 - He has the, 924 00:57:03,620 --> 00:57:04,379 well who's gonna bring him there 925 00:57:04,448 --> 00:57:05,482 to visit you every day? 926 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,137 Who's gonna bring him there to visit you every day? 927 00:57:08,206 --> 00:57:10,482 It doesn't happen in reality. 928 00:57:10,551 --> 00:57:12,068 It doesn't happen. 929 00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:13,793 So then you know what, you have to make a choice. 930 00:57:13,862 --> 00:57:16,689 Either be in an institution in some other state 931 00:57:16,758 --> 00:57:19,103 or be here where you can live independently 932 00:57:19,172 --> 00:57:20,482 in your own place. 933 00:57:20,551 --> 00:57:24,103 And do what you love to do. 934 00:57:24,172 --> 00:57:25,965 I mean, documentaries. 935 00:57:26,034 --> 00:57:27,655 And I think that's what you should aim for 936 00:57:27,724 --> 00:57:30,206 because life is short and then we die anyway. 937 00:57:35,103 --> 00:57:37,172 - [Jason] There's one more option. 938 00:57:37,241 --> 00:57:39,827 You and your mom could move back to New York. 939 00:57:41,275 --> 00:57:43,206 I make a hard decision. 940 00:57:43,275 --> 00:57:46,068 I go to Queen's County Family Court. 941 00:57:47,620 --> 00:57:50,137 I asked that you and your mom return to New York 942 00:57:50,206 --> 00:57:51,689 as soon as possible. 943 00:57:54,482 --> 00:57:56,758 I'm so certain that the family court 944 00:57:56,827 --> 00:58:00,206 will understand how important it is for a father 945 00:58:00,275 --> 00:58:02,000 to be with his son 946 00:58:02,068 --> 00:58:06,172 that it will quickly order you and your mom to return. 947 00:58:08,137 --> 00:58:10,172 I'm assigned a court appointed lawyer 948 00:58:10,241 --> 00:58:12,620 and the court makes its first decision. 949 00:58:13,655 --> 00:58:16,793 That I get daily Skype calls with you. 950 00:58:16,862 --> 00:58:17,827 - Mom, no. 951 00:58:17,896 --> 00:58:18,379 - [Alice] Okay, that's fine. 952 00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,344 - Why'd you do that? - No. 953 00:58:24,724 --> 00:58:26,000 - [Jason] Jase, why'd you do that? 954 00:58:26,068 --> 00:58:28,448 What's that, what's that? 955 00:58:28,517 --> 00:58:30,344 [yells] 956 00:58:30,413 --> 00:58:33,034 - I don't want to talk to Dad. 957 00:58:33,103 --> 00:58:36,620 - [Jason] But I want to talk to you. 958 00:58:40,793 --> 00:58:45,000 - [Jason] The apartment 10E is really nice. 959 00:58:45,068 --> 00:58:47,241 The outside is really nice 960 00:58:47,310 --> 00:58:49,482 and the Empire State Building is outside. 961 00:58:52,344 --> 00:58:53,620 - [Jase] You're a bad daddy. 962 00:58:53,689 --> 00:58:56,310 - I'm a good daddy and you're my best friend. 963 00:58:57,275 --> 00:58:58,517 Jase, what are you making? 964 00:59:00,275 --> 00:59:01,275 What's that? 965 00:59:02,689 --> 00:59:04,931 What's that, oh jeez. 966 00:59:06,827 --> 00:59:09,482 [mumbling] - [Alice] Yes, Jason. 967 00:59:39,724 --> 00:59:41,655 My relationship with you 968 00:59:41,724 --> 00:59:43,896 is much better in person. 969 00:59:45,137 --> 00:59:48,896 So I start traveling to Texas as much as I can. 970 00:59:48,965 --> 00:59:50,551 - [Man] Do you want to go down and ride the bear? 971 00:59:50,620 --> 00:59:53,344 - [Jason] Let's not ride the bear, Jase. 972 00:59:53,413 --> 00:59:54,758 - No. 973 00:59:54,827 --> 00:59:56,275 - No, I don't think that's a good idea. 974 00:59:56,344 --> 00:59:57,689 - Daddy said no. 975 00:59:58,758 --> 01:00:01,172 [soft music] 976 01:00:28,310 --> 01:00:29,758 And then the guy goes ah! 977 01:00:29,827 --> 01:00:30,620 - Ah! 978 01:00:32,137 --> 01:00:34,620 [soft music] 979 01:00:54,172 --> 01:00:57,862 [blowing] Blow it, blow it. 980 01:00:57,931 --> 01:00:59,758 [cheering] 981 01:00:59,827 --> 01:01:01,241 - [Alice] Good job. 982 01:01:01,310 --> 01:01:03,275 - [Jason] It's the big four. 983 01:01:03,344 --> 01:01:05,517 - [Alice] Nice one. 984 01:01:05,586 --> 01:01:07,896 - [Jason] Jase is the big four. 985 01:01:07,965 --> 01:01:10,137 - There you go. - Good job. 986 01:01:11,517 --> 01:01:13,965 - Look at all this smoke. 987 01:01:14,034 --> 01:01:16,689 - [Jason] Happy birthday to Jase. 988 01:01:18,517 --> 01:01:20,344 Look at that, Jase. 989 01:01:20,413 --> 01:01:24,827 It's your very first remote control helicopter. 990 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,172 - I want to open it. 991 01:01:29,241 --> 01:01:32,034 [blades whirring] 992 01:01:38,551 --> 01:01:39,275 - [Jason] Jase, you're really good at it. 993 01:01:39,344 --> 01:01:41,034 - I wanted it to turn. 994 01:01:42,620 --> 01:01:43,413 Yes! 995 01:01:44,827 --> 01:01:47,758 [machine whirring] 996 01:01:49,137 --> 01:01:50,482 [squealing] 997 01:01:54,689 --> 01:01:57,448 [sirens blaring] 998 01:01:57,517 --> 01:01:59,482 - [Paramedic] Gonna check your blood sugar, okay? 999 01:02:01,448 --> 01:02:02,724 Is that okay, Jason? 1000 01:02:02,793 --> 01:02:04,379 - [Jason] I didn't know how much the stress 1001 01:02:04,448 --> 01:02:05,413 and travel were affecting me. 1002 01:02:06,551 --> 01:02:10,103 Until I had my first ever seizure 1003 01:02:10,172 --> 01:02:11,758 while I'm still in Texas. 1004 01:02:12,965 --> 01:02:15,655 [sirens blaring] 1005 01:02:25,551 --> 01:02:27,034 I want to see you, 1006 01:02:27,103 --> 01:02:29,793 but I don't want to get any more seizures. 1007 01:02:29,862 --> 01:02:31,344 So I stop traveling. 1008 01:02:37,413 --> 01:02:41,413 Meanwhile, I go to court periodically, 1009 01:02:41,482 --> 01:02:42,310 but nothing else happens. 1010 01:02:45,448 --> 01:02:48,655 The legal case is stressful and time consuming. 1011 01:02:51,137 --> 01:02:53,448 But going to court felt like the only way 1012 01:02:53,517 --> 01:02:56,793 I can make sure that I see you as much as possible. 1013 01:03:04,206 --> 01:03:07,068 Meanwhile, with your mom no longer here, 1014 01:03:07,137 --> 01:03:10,551 it's important to have a relationship in my life. 1015 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,310 Can you say something about looking for 1016 01:03:16,517 --> 01:03:20,620 that special someone or looking for love or anything? 1017 01:03:20,689 --> 01:03:22,551 - [Assistant] So it should be in your self summary. 1018 01:03:22,620 --> 01:03:24,551 We'll make this enjoying life, creating films, 1019 01:03:24,620 --> 01:03:27,068 and trying to make the world a better place. 1020 01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,344 - Just say, looking for something real. 1021 01:03:28,413 --> 01:03:32,344 - [Assistant] Looking for something real. 1022 01:03:33,413 --> 01:03:35,413 Do you not say anything about having MS? 1023 01:03:36,827 --> 01:03:38,344 - No, no. 1024 01:03:38,413 --> 01:03:41,000 We decided not to say anything about that on here. 1025 01:03:41,068 --> 01:03:42,793 - [Assistant] Isn't that catfishing? 1026 01:03:42,862 --> 01:03:44,103 - Actually, that's a really good point. 1027 01:03:44,172 --> 01:03:46,724 On another one, no, it's not catfishing. 1028 01:03:46,793 --> 01:03:48,413 - [Assistant] Are you sure, it's the same thing. 1029 01:03:48,482 --> 01:03:49,413 - No, it's not. 1030 01:03:50,241 --> 01:03:52,241 What is catfishing? 1031 01:03:52,310 --> 01:03:54,172 - [Assistant] Where you meet someone 1032 01:03:54,241 --> 01:03:56,793 and it's not what they portrayal in mind. 1033 01:03:59,137 --> 01:04:00,655 - Is that all catfishing is? 1034 01:04:00,724 --> 01:04:02,000 - [Assistant] Yeah. 1035 01:04:02,068 --> 01:04:05,137 If you put up a photo of you from 2002. 1036 01:04:05,206 --> 01:04:06,620 So, these are your photos? 1037 01:04:06,689 --> 01:04:08,137 - Yeah. - Okay, then you're fine. 1038 01:04:08,206 --> 01:04:10,000 You're not catfishing. 1039 01:04:10,068 --> 01:04:12,551 - So okay, let's go to a different website then. 1040 01:04:13,551 --> 01:04:18,137 So go to Bumble, that's the other one. 1041 01:04:18,206 --> 01:04:19,862 To use, this website's interesting 1042 01:04:19,931 --> 01:04:22,931 because the girls make the first choice 1043 01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:27,896 of whether they want to meet up or really talk to you. 1044 01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:30,000 So you can choose whoever you want but 1045 01:04:30,068 --> 01:04:32,620 they are the ones that actually end up choosing. 1046 01:04:32,689 --> 01:04:35,275 See, I'm totally doing this by looks right now. 1047 01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:38,482 That's a yes. 1048 01:04:38,551 --> 01:04:40,000 Yes. 1049 01:04:40,068 --> 01:04:41,137 - [Assistant] So wait, I thought you had blurred vision. 1050 01:04:41,206 --> 01:04:42,655 How are you all of a sudden able to have such 1051 01:04:42,724 --> 01:04:45,482 good vision to pick girls' attractiveness? 1052 01:04:45,551 --> 01:04:47,862 - 'Cause you hold something close up to me. 1053 01:04:47,931 --> 01:04:49,379 This is close enough to see. 1054 01:04:52,103 --> 01:04:54,000 See how my life has changed? 1055 01:04:54,068 --> 01:04:55,793 I had to go online. 1056 01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:00,137 Swiping left or right on dating profiles. 1057 01:05:00,206 --> 01:05:01,000 No. 1058 01:05:02,517 --> 01:05:03,482 No. 1059 01:05:05,034 --> 01:05:07,862 It's funny what I have to do to entertain myself. 1060 01:05:07,931 --> 01:05:09,241 To not go crazy. 1061 01:05:09,310 --> 01:05:10,241 No. 1062 01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:12,793 Yes. 1063 01:05:17,862 --> 01:05:21,931 As much as I tried to work up enthusiasm for dating, 1064 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:25,793 my heart is with the four year old living in Texas. 1065 01:05:28,758 --> 01:05:30,172 - Hi, Daddy. 1066 01:05:30,241 --> 01:05:32,275 - [Jason] Hi, my friend. 1067 01:05:32,344 --> 01:05:34,551 You're my best friend. 1068 01:05:34,620 --> 01:05:36,862 Hi, best friend. 1069 01:06:27,103 --> 01:06:29,172 I'm watching you grow up 1070 01:06:29,241 --> 01:06:30,482 in the four corners of a computer screen. 1071 01:06:33,620 --> 01:06:36,103 [soft music] 1072 01:06:43,689 --> 01:06:46,655 The court process is a race against time. 1073 01:06:48,344 --> 01:06:51,758 I'm here for a custody hearing. 1074 01:06:51,827 --> 01:06:56,482 And hopefully I'll be able to get something 1075 01:06:56,551 --> 01:06:58,965 out of today because I didn't realize 1076 01:06:59,034 --> 01:07:02,689 how slow the court process is. 1077 01:07:02,758 --> 01:07:03,793 - [Bailor] You swear to tell the whole truth, 1078 01:07:03,862 --> 01:07:05,172 no matter, before this court? 1079 01:07:05,241 --> 01:07:06,862 - [Alice] Yes. 1080 01:07:06,931 --> 01:07:07,724 - [Bailor] Your name? 1081 01:07:07,793 --> 01:07:09,793 - [Alice] Alice Cook. 1082 01:07:09,862 --> 01:07:11,241 - [Bailor] You swear to tell the whole truth? 1083 01:07:11,310 --> 01:07:12,241 - [Jason] Yep. 1084 01:07:12,310 --> 01:07:13,137 - [Bailor] Your name, sir? 1085 01:07:13,206 --> 01:07:15,517 - Jason DaSilva. - Thank you. 1086 01:07:17,206 --> 01:07:18,517 - [Jason] Then the judge ruled 1087 01:07:18,586 --> 01:07:20,034 that you will visit me in New York 1088 01:07:20,103 --> 01:07:21,586 one weekend each month. 1089 01:07:23,344 --> 01:07:25,275 At last, I can see more of you. 1090 01:07:26,103 --> 01:07:28,724 - Now let's see the other one. 1091 01:07:29,896 --> 01:07:32,034 The other one. - Just be careful. 1092 01:07:32,103 --> 01:07:34,551 - [Jase] There's more than one. 1093 01:07:51,551 --> 01:07:54,000 [soft music] 1094 01:07:57,689 --> 01:07:58,344 - Let Grandpa play. 1095 01:08:09,137 --> 01:08:11,620 [soft music] 1096 01:08:19,827 --> 01:08:21,068 - I just bang on-- - And Mr. Piggy's 1097 01:08:21,137 --> 01:08:21,379 going to watch you. 1098 01:08:23,206 --> 01:08:26,000 [keys clinking] 1099 01:08:29,310 --> 01:08:30,517 Okay, now play with your fingers. 1100 01:08:30,586 --> 01:08:32,275 That's your palms, now these. 1101 01:08:34,551 --> 01:08:35,586 There you go. 1102 01:08:38,241 --> 01:08:39,620 - [Jason] Yeah, that's how, Jase. 1103 01:08:39,689 --> 01:08:42,896 - That wasn't it, I was just pressing the same ones. 1104 01:08:42,965 --> 01:08:45,551 [keys clinking] 1105 01:08:46,827 --> 01:08:48,344 [soft music] 1106 01:08:51,931 --> 01:08:54,379 - [Ed] You've got it. 1107 01:08:54,448 --> 01:08:56,896 [soft music] 1108 01:09:13,413 --> 01:09:16,482 - I know what I'm gonna do next time. 1109 01:09:17,620 --> 01:09:20,068 - This is the first time 1110 01:09:20,137 --> 01:09:24,103 that I'm gonna be spending the night with you 1111 01:09:24,172 --> 01:09:26,413 in three years. 1112 01:09:26,482 --> 01:09:27,896 It's gonna be really exciting 1113 01:09:27,965 --> 01:09:30,931 and we're gonna spend a whole weekend together. 1114 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,517 - If you need me, you just tap me on the shoulder, okay? 1115 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:37,241 - [Jason] My brother Daniel helps me take care of you. 1116 01:09:37,310 --> 01:09:39,034 - There's a distress call to PURST, 1117 01:09:39,103 --> 01:09:42,379 P-U-R-S-T, Pets of the Universe 1118 01:09:42,448 --> 01:09:45,482 Ready for Space Travel Command Center. 1119 01:09:45,551 --> 01:09:47,000 Ruff, woof. 1120 01:09:47,068 --> 01:09:48,310 Look at all the animals here. 1121 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:51,758 - [Jason] Jase, what animals are there? 1122 01:09:51,827 --> 01:09:53,034 - Cats. 1123 01:09:53,103 --> 01:09:54,344 - And, yeah just cats, you're right. 1124 01:09:54,413 --> 01:09:57,137 - It's all cats? - That's a dog though. 1125 01:09:58,758 --> 01:10:00,344 - [Jason] It's the best night I've had 1126 01:10:00,413 --> 01:10:02,344 in a long, long time. 1127 01:10:10,137 --> 01:10:11,689 On our next court date, 1128 01:10:11,758 --> 01:10:14,310 the judge proposes we settle up the case. 1129 01:10:15,896 --> 01:10:18,344 Three hours later, it was all over. 1130 01:10:20,344 --> 01:10:22,103 You will live in Texas, 1131 01:10:22,172 --> 01:10:25,068 but will come to see me more than twice as much. 1132 01:10:26,724 --> 01:10:29,758 I'm sad that you won't be moving back, 1133 01:10:29,827 --> 01:10:31,586 but of course, I'm glad that I'll be able 1134 01:10:31,655 --> 01:10:32,931 to see more of you. 1135 01:10:34,448 --> 01:10:36,965 [soft music] 1136 01:10:40,137 --> 01:10:42,068 I decide to risk traveling 1137 01:10:42,137 --> 01:10:43,310 because I can't miss your fifth birthday. 1138 01:10:48,724 --> 01:10:50,758 [blowing] 1139 01:10:50,827 --> 01:10:53,620 [cheering and clapping] 1140 01:10:53,689 --> 01:10:57,103 - Good job, little buddy. - That's a great job. 1141 01:10:57,172 --> 01:10:59,344 Jase is so big. - Look at this big cake. 1142 01:10:59,413 --> 01:11:02,172 - Five years old. - Wait, what is all that? 1143 01:11:02,241 --> 01:11:04,793 What is all that? - That's your candy too. 1144 01:11:04,862 --> 01:11:06,103 Here you go, buddy. 1145 01:11:06,172 --> 01:11:07,172 - Yay. - Wow. 1146 01:11:09,172 --> 01:11:10,482 - Is it good? - Yes. 1147 01:11:10,551 --> 01:11:11,655 - Yeah! 1148 01:11:15,275 --> 01:11:17,931 Your grandfather comes to Austin to visit 1149 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:20,172 and we talk more about our marriages. 1150 01:11:20,241 --> 01:11:21,793 Maybe it's me. 1151 01:11:21,862 --> 01:11:24,482 - Looking back, how could you have made things 1152 01:11:24,551 --> 01:11:27,413 different in trying to save your marriage with Alice? 1153 01:11:29,517 --> 01:11:32,862 And hopefully making it better for Jase. 1154 01:11:32,931 --> 01:11:34,275 - I've thought about that. 1155 01:11:36,310 --> 01:11:37,206 Many times. 1156 01:11:37,275 --> 01:11:42,103 So I think just being a better, 1157 01:11:43,413 --> 01:11:47,068 more supportive person with Alice, 1158 01:11:47,137 --> 01:11:51,482 and then also being more open. 1159 01:11:51,551 --> 01:11:54,724 It's tough to go backwards and think about it. 1160 01:11:54,793 --> 01:11:55,655 Do you ever do that? 1161 01:11:55,724 --> 01:11:57,517 Do you ever think backwards? 1162 01:11:58,862 --> 01:12:00,896 - Of course, I think I've done no wrong. 1163 01:12:00,965 --> 01:12:02,206 [laughs] 1164 01:12:02,275 --> 01:12:05,068 - Do you wish that you did anything different? 1165 01:12:05,137 --> 01:12:07,137 Like how it affected us? 1166 01:12:07,206 --> 01:12:10,103 Would you have done anything differently? 1167 01:12:10,172 --> 01:12:12,068 - Yes and no. 1168 01:12:12,137 --> 01:12:14,068 We've been through some kind of counseling. 1169 01:12:14,137 --> 01:12:15,275 Didn't work. 1170 01:12:15,344 --> 01:12:17,000 But I think Mom had made up her mind. 1171 01:12:17,068 --> 01:12:19,793 She's had enough and 1172 01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:23,482 took it one step further and just walked away. 1173 01:12:23,551 --> 01:12:25,344 - Through this film I worked on, 1174 01:12:25,413 --> 01:12:30,103 at least pass on to Jase to show that 1175 01:12:30,172 --> 01:12:33,137 cycles don't need to be passed on. 1176 01:12:33,206 --> 01:12:36,655 And maybe he can break the cycle. 1177 01:12:36,724 -I;mVEhQCxqOT"6|o$|8) R!uIʷ|@r<+ܶ@-0|'7^{mEq&hKi~F(+̇ 7Dv;cntCC- Sd=Cצ$Hwrz &D z)Z٪a_kv\ГCRE_H$VQdF?{t@LP)-Ω'-U!Nuh=FZ&m)SK-᧑#*S+YLG(%"&`ذ qnw :"i(sD^{ʩGnr[Ɔw02Ar]FI_Lq=Iz̑VMr ~[}a)n8Tv6B?O+N_!-nX/$PE`ɢ QX$ɹod0lNIJEJqofTp + O򧬣Myeց k#wC|ތ'_^CyUp|gWzF Cl|r )e/X,DZGSgJs--z2np=jq kVDAi^ ?2;Pc隖9ްA^ X+\(~ 9*@mѕ5Ve6aۉ'1DŽ2f<=7Ht7Sja"ppM18O ^jv :!0#1_i==Q-ll2 ϦYr_ӉfJ w Wgח h,؎~Bge Tl!ػC!x,JPSB9f~T@`85 òmƒ/ŏt\Ė%ܻ3]=l 0PU&`i)b0Mjɽr`2IN\` ea-#P՜FAm60[ R tbq#Ul HqRj\p?:B~f'Y(Vu,Ӽo p38͊~q6G=v1&3mP_1*\.חsO&3]t,lx 6]8o1Ӡ D12ډRn{uĝh_3 8{rwbgT%fj+[Yoˉĩ`}r,أIa^V+AI.YFaG{9鸻|#rG"W D6l1Y0ViG¤oQJ{LU\3kbfAڀ 8Xj~nU2y[\=!]m$F"cQLYPa:ϗ{VE475owjEܢ$wV?] r,Pd#d/HzK`R 1X}Cy.nWb ;ƝD <?*KεK  h >sB'cBFZ2)τuuPsՋ'듴=.ׯecۧȀO qAogB] | H˻.gԆ J]ѳj73v|9[-f]*e\w-<\^uۼU\.y<8n=pv 2@zypB=ޠl^úQSe? 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