1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,023 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 4 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,070 This is Eve Carter. 5 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,376 Leave me a message. 6 00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,465 Hey, sis. 7 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:32,336 I know it's a weird time of year for you, 8 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,729 but you can still come with us to Hawaii for Christmas. 9 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,078 Okay? Let me know. 10 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,385 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 11 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,256 Eve, it's Brian. 12 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,910 I've been on the phone with the studio all morning. 13 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,694 They know they screwed us both over, but 14 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,175 there's nothing we can do at this point. 15 00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,394 But we'll get the next one. 16 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,528 Hey, uh, 17 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:53,401 I saw the viral video of you. 18 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:54,750 Yikes. 19 00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,447 Um, look, I get it. 20 00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:57,622 If you wanna hide out for the holidays, 21 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,146 but I don't want you all alone. 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,365 Okay? So just come to Atlanta 23 00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:02,888 and stay with Mickey. Okay? 24 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,892 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 25 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,199 Eve, PR is having to work double time for you, 26 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,593 so maybe don't go out this December. 27 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,422 Eve Carter? 28 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,337 You know what? 29 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:17,773 You got to stop leaving me these angry voicemails, 30 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,818 okay? 31 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,646 I know this reboot's been our baby for years. I... 32 00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:23,300 I fought for you. 33 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,346 I fought for you. I really did. 34 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,391 But you can't fight a studio, so just-- 35 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:29,785 You got to stop badmouthing me in public. 36 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,134 Move on. 37 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,224 Bye. 38 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:43,929 ♪ 8 Days til Christmas ♪ 39 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,496 ♪ Yeaaah ♪ 40 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,630 Good news! 41 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,458 You at least got a callback for Emma. 42 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,025 It's Off Off Broadway, but 43 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,115 at least it's not New Jersey. 44 00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,466 Hey, jackass, it's your sister. 45 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,032 Remember me? 46 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,426 Look, I need to know if you're coming or not. 47 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,862 Call me. Seriously. 48 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,647 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 49 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,216 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 50 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,869 Uncompromising. 51 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,436 Unwilling to admit my faults. 52 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:13,829 What my ex said. 53 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,135 Glad he's gone, actually. 54 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,354 I want to be alone for holiday. 55 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,444 Alone. Alone, Alone. 56 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,881 Wow. I mean, 57 00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,928 that was... 58 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,104 Yeah. 59 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,628 Listen, I know that we had to do a callback 60 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:33,022 as soon as you landed off the plane, but 61 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,067 I'm really, really glad it worked out. 62 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,374 - Yeah? - My driver understands. 63 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,028 When Brian told me you were going to do a 64 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,595 - modern take on Emma. - Oh, no. 65 00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:43,728 This play is going to be lit sizzling. 66 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,991 Okay? We're going to get butts back in seats. 67 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,776 Right? Get that butt 68 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:48,994 back in a seat. 69 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,474 Hashtag live theater, baby. 70 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:51,954 - Yeah? - Yeah. 71 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:53,782 I just want to do meaningful work 72 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,175 from now on. 73 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,525 Hmm.... Yeah, yeah, 74 00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,440 they really typecast you, huh? 75 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:00,963 Uh, listen... it doesn't really help 76 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,661 that you've had A LOT of uh... 77 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,446 crazy moments go viral. 78 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:09,276 And I've never gotten to work with a female director before, 79 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,843 so I'd love to see you in action. 80 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,541 Cool. Great. 81 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,196 Well, I am so impressed by your range, 82 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:19,721 and I'm sure that we're going to get word before the holidays, 83 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,289 so I want you to go and just enjoy your family. 84 00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:23,115 Yes. 85 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,116 Same to you. 86 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:27,598 What did you think? 87 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,297 Five stars. Up high! 88 00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,126 Thanks for letting me get that done. 89 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,128 Yeah. 90 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,217 Why aren't you in the new "“Christmas With Jerks"” movie? 91 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,306 Just lucky, I guess. 92 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,230 Thanks. 93 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:06,115 "“All I got for Christmas was a candy cane!"” 94 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,595 I love that line. 95 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:08,509 You learn the real meaning of Christmas 96 00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:09,771 after being such a brat. 97 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,033 Yeah. 98 00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,077 Thanks. 99 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,906 - Bye. - bye. 100 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,573 Ahh! 101 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,447 Wait! Wait! Wait! 102 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,407 Somebody! 103 00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:38,539 Help me! 104 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:39,540 Help! 105 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,324 Oh god! 106 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,760 My phone! 107 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,290 I don't know how to get in the house! 108 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,425 ♪ Up on the housetop reindeer pause ♪ 109 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,166 ♪ Out jumps good old Santa Clause ♪ 110 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,907 ♪ down through the chimney with lots of toys ♪ 111 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,169 ♪ All for the little ones Christmas joys ♪ 112 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,301 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, ♪ 113 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:02,258 ♪ Who wouldn't go? ♪ 114 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,390 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, ♪ 115 00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,261 ♪ Where'd the keys go? ♪ 116 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,219 ♪ Up on the housetop, click, click, click ♪ 117 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:07,568 ♪ Down through the chimney like old Saint Nick ♪ 118 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,744 How you gonna get in the house? 119 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,267 I don't know. 120 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:12,790 ♪ First comes the stocking of little Nell ♪ 121 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,575 ♪ Old dear Santa, fill it well ♪ 122 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,141 ♪ Give her a dolly that laughs and cries ♪ 123 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,578 ♪ one that can open and shut its eyes ♪ 124 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:18,709 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 125 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:19,710 ♪ Who wouldn't go? ♪ 126 00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:20,842 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 127 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,713 ♪ Where'd the keys go? ♪ 128 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,280 ♪ Up on the housetop, click, click, click ♪ 129 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:24,846 ♪ Give them keys find them quick ♪ 130 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,326 Did you try the window? 131 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,590 ♪ Look in the stocking of little Bill ♪ 132 00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,243 ♪ Oh, just see what a glorious fill ♪ 133 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,071 ♪ Here is a hammer and lots of tacks ♪ 134 00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,769 ♪ a whistle, and a ball, and a whip that cracks ♪ 135 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,336 ♪ Check the gnome Check the gnome ♪ 136 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,163 ♪ There you go There you go ♪ 137 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,948 ♪ Up on the housetop, click, click, click ♪ 138 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:40,862 ♪ You found the keys, yeah, that's sick ♪ 139 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,823 Throw a party! 140 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,347 You don't have to climb down the chimney! 141 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:49,174 Woohoo! 142 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,524 Yeah, baby! 143 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,353 We're gettin' in that house. 144 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:54,789 Ah huh! 145 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,574 Thank you, gnome. 146 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,578 ♪ You don't have to climb down the chimney ♪ 147 00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:06,366 ♪ Like Old Saint Nick ♪ 148 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:16,550 Mickey? 149 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,497 To family! 150 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,802 Thank God they're not here! 151 00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,348 Social media royalty: Shadonna Lambert 152 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,481 has landed the coveted lead role 153 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:05,006 in the reboot of the holiday classic, "“Christmas with Jerks"”. 154 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,965 DEADLINE previously reported that the eighties child star 155 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:11,273 Eve Carter was reprising her role as "“Cookie Jerk"”, 156 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,363 But it appears the 44 year old has been replaced 157 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,278 by the 30 year old influencer 158 00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,672 with over 10 million followers. 159 00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,717 When asked why the recasting 160 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,198 this is what director Charlie Belflour had to say: 161 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,722 "“How could I argue with 10 million people?"” 162 00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:28,290 Next up, how young is too young for Botox? 163 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:52,183 ♪ Touch Me ♪ 164 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,665 ♪ Baaaby ♪ 165 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,581 ♪ Oooh, oooh, oooh ♪ 166 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:03,586 ♪ We should be together ♪ 167 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,546 ♪ The moment's here now ♪ 168 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,902 You might want to do that somewhere a little more private. 169 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,645 Jesus Christ! 170 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,211 Mickey! 171 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:22,736 Who are you? 172 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:24,433 Ace. 173 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:27,741 Jim's cousin. 174 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:29,612 Oh, dear God. 175 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,658 No, just "“Ace"” is fine. 176 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:38,578 Hey, Ace. 177 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:43,931 Beat it, squirt. 178 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,590 You grew up. 179 00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:52,983 You too. 180 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,986 You remember me? 181 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,598 My cousin's in-law is "“Cookie Jerk"”. 182 00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,295 How could I forget? 183 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,603 Will you please do the candy cane line for me? 184 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:04,865 Please? 185 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,519 No! Why are you here? 186 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,782 I'm dog sitting. 187 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:09,913 Recovering from surgery. 188 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,612 What are you doing here besides uhh... 189 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,705 I have a mosquito bite. 190 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,969 Is that what the kids are calling it these days? 191 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,146 I -- I -- I want to wallow in my misery alone. 192 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,713 with Mickey! 193 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,236 and not be judged by someone like you. 194 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,672 So get out! 195 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,108 Well if it makes you feel any better 196 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,283 I'm not that judgy. 197 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,416 This is my sister's house. 198 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,765 She said I could stay here. 199 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:37,854 And I forgot to confirm with her but... 200 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:39,726 It's her house so... 201 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,553 Get out! 202 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:43,730 No. 203 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,776 Jim asked me to watch the dog, 204 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,125 and I need a bedroom on the main, so I -- 205 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,258 I don't care! 206 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,999 Do I look like I care? 207 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,044 Are you or are you not leaving? 208 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:54,871 No. 209 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,481 I'm not. 210 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,527 I could pay you. 211 00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,441 I don't need your money. 212 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:00,660 Okay. 213 00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:07,841 But I'll get you a nice hotel. 214 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,320 I'll get you a nice hotel! 215 00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:11,845 My god! 216 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,717 This is my sister's house! 217 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,459 and I'm never going back into the world again. 218 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,330 Or until after Christmas. 219 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:21,550 Same. 220 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,686 Sorry, Cookie. 221 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:27,774 I ain't leavin'. 222 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,385 And word to the wise: 223 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:31,995 If you're going to wallow in your misery 224 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,388 with your mosquito bite, 225 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,738 make sure you have on underwear. 226 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,307 Ohh! 227 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,525 Get out! 228 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,137 I don't like you! 229 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,356 So good to see you again! 230 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,360 Look, I don't care who stays there 231 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,362 as long as someone takes care of Mickey. 232 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,016 Send me a new phone, Ash! 233 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,714 I'm dying over here! 234 00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:57,238 Happy holidays? 235 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,067 Come on. 236 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,032 Mickey was my mom's dog, and I'm not leaving. 237 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,034 So you better get your crap and-- 238 00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:20,696 ♪ Seven days til Christmas ♪ 239 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,872 ♪ Oh, no, he did not! ♪ 240 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:32,969 Ugh! 241 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:40,890 ♪ It's pretty hot here for December ♪ 242 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:50,117 ♪ Or is that just the way you're making my blood boil? ♪ 243 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:53,381 ♪ You put my brain into a blender ♪ 244 00:12:56,427 --> 00:13:00,431 ♪ Throw it out before it spoils ♪ 245 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:06,611 ♪ It's like I'm living in a nightmare ♪ 246 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:14,228 ♪ And now you've ruined everything that I enjoy ♪ 247 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,972 ♪ I'm writing Santa, this is not fair ♪ 248 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:25,369 ♪ Gonna take away your toys ♪ 249 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:31,462 ♪ Helluva Holiday with you ♪ 250 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,338 ♪ A lump of loathing is the only thing ♪ 251 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,906 ♪ You will get under this roof ♪ 252 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,258 ♪ Helluva Holiday with you ♪ 253 00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:48,262 ♪ I'll stuff your stocking ♪ 254 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:52,614 ♪ And I'll show you where you can put your tofu ♪ 255 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:56,836 ♪ You took the joy from my martinis ♪ 256 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:04,452 ♪ But just like spite, I have a holiday supply ♪ 257 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:09,761 ♪ There's nothing cheerful here about us ♪ 258 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,025 ♪ And I-- uh... ♪ 259 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,858 Sweet baby Jesus! 260 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,385 Oh! 261 00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:26,909 My god... 262 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,693 I didn't know anyone actually looked like this. 263 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:43,273 Helluva Holiday with you ♪ 264 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,799 ♪ I'll stuff your stocking ♪ 265 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:54,415 ♪ And I'll show you where you can put your tofu ♪ 266 00:14:56,547 --> 00:15:03,250 ♪ extra firm tofu ♪ 267 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:07,819 Oh. 268 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,299 Wow. 269 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,140 Ooh! 270 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,363 Like I was saying... 271 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,757 ♪ Helluva Holiday! ♪ 272 00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,587 ♪ - With you! - With you! ♪ 273 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,242 ♪ With you!♪ 274 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:42,854 ♪ Helluva Holiday!♪ 275 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:46,946 ♪ - Holiday with you! - Holiday! ♪ 276 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:48,730 ♪ With you! ♪ 277 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:54,649 ♪ 6 days till Christmas ♪ 278 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:57,608 ♪ It's getting ugly in here ♪ 279 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:02,570 HELLUVA HOLIDAY WITH YOU! ♪ 280 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,835 -No! - ♪ A lump of loathing ♪ 281 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:11,057 ♪ Is the only thing you will get under this roof ♪ 282 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:15,278 ♪ Helluva Holiday with you! ♪ 283 00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:18,716 ♪ A touch of snow ♪ 284 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,805 ♪ And then we'll see how long ♪ 285 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,808 ♪ you're in the bathroom ♪ 286 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:40,086 ♪ Helluva holiday ♪ 287 00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:45,917 ♪ Helluva Holiday with you! ♪ 288 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,093 I hate you. 289 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,494 - I hate you. - I hate you more. 290 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,019 Oh, my God. 291 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:01,368 Oh... 292 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:09,985 Mac! 293 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:11,682 Hey. 294 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,294 Yeah. Just uh... 295 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,122 laying low for the holidays. 296 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:18,124 Uh, January. 297 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,430 Yeah, rehearsals are up in January. 298 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:22,780 Oh I'll-- 299 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,173 I'll be-- I'll be ready. 300 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,224 What? 301 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,052 That computer working? 302 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,056 Actually, the internet's down. 303 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:40,102 Can I please borrow your phone 304 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:41,799 for, like, 2 seconds? 305 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,802 Only if you promise to go to a hotel. 306 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,066 I need to call my doctor. 307 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:48,719 Ha! 308 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,373 My God. 309 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:51,896 Same. 310 00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,516 Hey, uh, this is Ace Strong 311 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:03,908 calling Dr. Arjona back. 312 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,650 Doc! Hey. Hey. Uh... 313 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:07,695 What's the good news? 314 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:08,739 Scans look good? 315 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,442 Right but I'm goin'-- 316 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,096 I'm goin' be good to go by January, right? 317 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:20,577 I know that 318 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,275 95% of people 319 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,190 need longer to recover from this, but -- 320 00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,541 you and I both know I'm not 95% of people, right? 321 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,239 Doc? I've-- 322 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:31,936 I've been doing my exercises every day. 323 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,677 and, and then some. 324 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,422 So what happens if I go through with filming then? 325 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,036 Permanent damage? 326 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:47,778 Oh, okay. 327 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:48,605 Yeah, umm... 328 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:49,824 Yeah. Yes. 329 00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:51,521 We should reassess next week. 330 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,132 Absolutely. 331 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:55,308 Talk to you then. 332 00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,439 All right. 333 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:57,745 Bye. 334 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:03,272 ♪ God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen ♪ 335 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:06,797 ♪ Let nothing you dismay ♪ 336 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:13,500 ♪ ...was born on Christmas Day ♪ 337 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:14,675 Eve! 338 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:15,241 ♪ ...to save us all ♪ 339 00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:16,416 EVE! 340 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:17,286 ♪ from Satan's power ♪ 341 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:18,287 What is going on?! 342 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:20,159 I lost 5 whole pounds! 343 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,117 So I'm baking brownies, Darling! 344 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,600 Can you turn the music down? 345 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,211 Not at all! Au revoir! 346 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:32,867 ♪ ...comfort and joy ♪ 347 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,264 No, I got it! 348 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:41,745 I got it. 349 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,624 Why do you listen 350 00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:52,930 to such bad Christmas music? 351 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,845 I can't find anything else. 352 00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,065 There's 11-teen remotes. 353 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:03,898 Look at that! 354 00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,990 My phone hasn't come in. Can I please borrow yours? 355 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,340 No. 356 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:17,999 I need to take this. 357 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,656 Bianca! Hey... 358 00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,048 ...girl, um... 359 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,312 Yeah, no, uh, you got my message. 360 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:27,661 That's awesome, uhh... 361 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:29,793 I'm... just wanted to let you know 362 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,013 I'm back in town, and uh... 363 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:34,233 Yeah, for the next, next gig... 364 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,799 um, I may or may not 365 00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:38,454 be wearing spandex, so... 366 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:42,197 Uh-- but-- I was wondering if you were-- 367 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,549 Yeah, no. Cool. 368 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,638 That's... That's cool, uh... 369 00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,598 Sure. Whenever. Just... 370 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,644 uh... text me and-- 371 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,908 Bianca? 372 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:20,931 Peace in the Middle East? 373 00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:25,414 That's not applicable. 374 00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:32,726 So how did you get hurt? 375 00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:36,773 Driving a car out of an airplane. 376 00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:38,297 Okay. 377 00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:42,866 You like this person? 378 00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:45,391 She's my ex. 379 00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:48,481 You want her back? 380 00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:52,311 Okay. 381 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,182 So what's the big plan, Ace? 382 00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:56,663 Beg. 383 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,622 Okay, I can help. 384 00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,842 but not tonight. Cause I'm about to be 385 00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:03,800 real messed up and I'm not trying to go back to jail. 386 00:22:04,627 --> 00:22:06,368 But mañanawe work on it. 387 00:22:09,153 --> 00:22:10,720 I swear to God. 388 00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:11,982 Sorry. 389 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,771 Eve Carter in "“A Matchmaker for Christmas."” 390 00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:20,121 That's actually a great title. 391 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:22,776 I need to call my agent. 392 00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:24,560 No. 393 00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:28,259 You know what? 394 00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:29,130 - Give me that drink. - No! 395 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:30,523 No! You gave this to me! 396 00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:31,785 You-- uh-- 397 00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,308 Eve! Hey, hey, hey! 398 00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:36,311 Maybe the universe 399 00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:38,313 wants you to disconnect. 400 00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:40,359 Maybe the universe wants you to fuck off. 401 00:22:45,581 --> 00:22:47,714 Hey, that's not funny. 402 00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:50,630 I'm still healing! 403 00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,632 Eve! Don't be a c-- uhh.... 404 00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:56,070 crone. 405 00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,986 Don't be a crone. 406 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,467 You just wait till that cannabis juice kicks in, fella. 407 00:23:01,641 --> 00:23:03,120 You won't know up from down. 408 00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:06,385 What? 409 00:23:08,343 --> 00:23:09,692 I hope you don't have to pee! 410 00:23:09,866 --> 00:23:11,390 Kay, byeee! 411 00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:21,748 I have to pee so bad. 412 00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:11,537 ♪ Five days '‘til Christmas ♪ 413 00:24:13,277 --> 00:24:15,497 ♪ You're up to no good ♪ 414 00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:16,498 ♪ Ooooh ♪ 415 00:24:21,242 --> 00:24:24,724 ♪ Are you ready to fall in love this Christmas? ♪ 416 00:24:24,898 --> 00:24:27,683 ♪ Under the mistletoe ♪ 417 00:24:28,554 --> 00:24:31,905 ♪ Is a kiss on the top of your wish list? ♪ 418 00:24:32,079 --> 00:24:35,125 ♪ Well, I know a girl you should know ♪ 419 00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:39,129 ♪ She's sugar and spice ♪ 420 00:24:39,303 --> 00:24:40,696 ♪ Naughty and nice ♪ 421 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:43,394 ♪ Waiting under that evergreen ♪ 422 00:24:43,569 --> 00:24:46,702 ♪ If you're ready to fall in love this Christmas ♪ 423 00:24:46,876 --> 00:24:50,358 ♪ Fall in love with me ♪ 424 00:24:53,056 --> 00:24:53,796 Lunch? 425 00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:56,538 Is it laced? 426 00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:57,844 With my scorn. 427 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:07,941 So what'd you do to run off Kiki? 428 00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:08,811 Bianca. 429 00:25:08,985 --> 00:25:10,204 Ooh la la. 430 00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:12,032 She would say I was a bit... 431 00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:13,424 of a killjoy. 432 00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:15,078 I see that. 433 00:25:15,296 --> 00:25:17,603 I didn't go to this one influencer thing and... 434 00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:19,866 Didn't feel like faking happiness 435 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,172 in front of a bunch of strangers and cameras, you know? 436 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,306 Yeah. She lives here? 437 00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:26,525 Midtown. 438 00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:28,918 Okay. 439 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,877 I got an A in stalking in high school, 440 00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:33,532 and this was long before the interweb, Mr.. 441 00:25:33,923 --> 00:25:35,446 We had to do the legwork. 442 00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:36,926 I once followed a guy all the way to Lake Lure and-- 443 00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:38,449 I got it. 444 00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:39,625 You're insane. 445 00:25:41,017 --> 00:25:42,192 It's almost Christmas. 446 00:25:42,366 --> 00:25:44,455 So what's some stuff she always does? 447 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:46,153 Her best friend Crystal 448 00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:49,199 always throws a Christmas Eve party. Every year. 449 00:25:49,722 --> 00:25:51,724 She gets there early, stays late. 450 00:25:52,855 --> 00:25:54,378 She always rides me for not dressing up 451 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,163 for these events either. 452 00:25:56,337 --> 00:25:57,599 And I believe in dressing for the job that you want, 453 00:25:57,773 --> 00:25:58,905 - and athleisure wear-- - I get it. 454 00:25:59,079 --> 00:25:59,949 You're a schlub. 455 00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:01,168 Okay. 456 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:02,996 This is going to work. 457 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:04,563 You'll go to the party, wear something spiffy, 458 00:26:04,737 --> 00:26:06,913 get her a little gift, prepare a few words. 459 00:26:07,696 --> 00:26:08,610 We got this. 460 00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:09,611 We got this? 461 00:26:09,785 --> 00:26:10,786 Yeah. 462 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,092 - You and me? - Oh yeah. 463 00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,136 - You're going to help me? - Mmhmm. 464 00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:15,791 And you'll... 465 00:26:16,444 --> 00:26:17,880 let me use your phone... 466 00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:19,447 and leave me the house by Christmas Eve. 467 00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:21,623 So win win. 468 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:32,808 So what's the big plan, Eve? 469 00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:35,768 No fucking way! 470 00:26:36,246 --> 00:26:38,074 She hasn't been offered the role yet, 471 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,076 but we know she's auditioned. 472 00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:41,295 That's my goddamn part! 473 00:26:41,469 --> 00:26:43,732 And she's-- what? 12?! 474 00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:46,735 Gigi has over a million followers, 475 00:26:47,431 --> 00:26:49,259 So I can't even get this teeny, tiny role 476 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:50,652 off-Broadway-- 477 00:26:50,826 --> 00:26:52,393 Off-OFF-Broadway. 478 00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:53,786 Exactly! 479 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,744 They have, like, 50 seats to fill. 480 00:26:55,918 --> 00:26:57,703 What do they care about a following like that? 481 00:26:57,877 --> 00:26:58,834 Just keep doing what you're doing. 482 00:26:59,008 --> 00:26:59,661 Lay low. 483 00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:01,184 No mishaps. 484 00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,969 And it'll be if it's meant to be. 485 00:27:03,317 --> 00:27:04,579 Bye. 486 00:27:06,712 --> 00:27:07,930 My agent just-- 487 00:27:09,236 --> 00:27:10,150 You don't care. 488 00:27:13,022 --> 00:27:14,720 I hate that shirt and it hates you. 489 00:27:14,894 --> 00:27:15,938 Next! 490 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:23,598 What? Worse! 491 00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,861 Who's your stylist? The Rock?! 492 00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:27,210 What are you? Some kind of... 493 00:27:27,384 --> 00:27:28,647 Muscle Milk... 494 00:27:28,821 --> 00:27:30,126 tuna fish twice a day 495 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:31,650 tank top lovin' freak? 496 00:27:32,433 --> 00:27:33,347 Yes. 497 00:27:34,435 --> 00:27:35,305 Gross. 498 00:27:37,481 --> 00:27:38,918 Eee! Look at this! 499 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:40,006 Check this suit out. 500 00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:41,007 Pure class. 501 00:27:41,398 --> 00:27:42,791 A grand?! 502 00:27:42,965 --> 00:27:43,923 Is it motorized?! 503 00:27:44,097 --> 00:27:45,446 You get what you pay for. 504 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:47,100 I'm not paying for anything. 505 00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:50,799 Oh, I kind of already got us some sushi delivery. 506 00:27:51,452 --> 00:27:53,193 And some saki. 507 00:27:53,367 --> 00:27:54,411 And a Great American Cookie Company cookie cake! 508 00:27:56,892 --> 00:27:58,111 What is up with you? 509 00:27:58,546 --> 00:27:59,808 It's called self love. 510 00:27:59,982 --> 00:28:01,244 And I'm leaning into it. 511 00:28:01,941 --> 00:28:03,290 And where's your phone? 512 00:28:04,073 --> 00:28:05,379 It's on back order. 513 00:28:05,553 --> 00:28:06,728 But Ashley's sending me one tomorrow. 514 00:28:07,816 --> 00:28:09,513 I got an idea! BRB. 515 00:28:34,669 --> 00:28:37,106 Pomegranate martinis! 516 00:28:39,413 --> 00:28:40,980 Would you care for a drink, sir? 517 00:28:45,941 --> 00:28:48,074 No. I'm watching my figure. 518 00:28:48,248 --> 00:28:49,249 They're sugar free. 519 00:28:49,423 --> 00:28:50,729 But booze forward. 520 00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:53,732 I won't let you snack after. Promise. 521 00:28:59,389 --> 00:29:00,782 Come on! 522 00:29:00,956 --> 00:29:02,218 I make it a point never to drink alone... 523 00:29:02,392 --> 00:29:03,742 while someone else is in the room. 524 00:29:09,443 --> 00:29:10,487 Fine. 525 00:29:19,061 --> 00:29:19,975 Tart. 526 00:29:20,149 --> 00:29:21,237 In a less narcissistic life, 527 00:29:21,411 --> 00:29:22,848 I was a mixologist. 528 00:29:23,022 --> 00:29:24,632 Or Donatella Versace! 529 00:29:25,198 --> 00:29:27,026 Yeah, well in a less dangerous life 530 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,549 I was a gym owner. 531 00:29:28,723 --> 00:29:29,855 Well, now you can be? 532 00:29:30,029 --> 00:29:30,986 What? No! 533 00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:33,380 I'm a stuntman. 534 00:29:33,946 --> 00:29:34,773 You know? It's... 535 00:29:36,252 --> 00:29:38,124 not just what I do. It's who I am. 536 00:29:38,298 --> 00:29:40,822 Like, you with the acting thing, right? 537 00:29:40,996 --> 00:29:42,215 Yeah. 538 00:29:42,389 --> 00:29:43,259 Let's not get too personal, shall we? 539 00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:49,613 I was thinking about getting... 540 00:29:50,397 --> 00:29:51,093 umm.... 541 00:29:51,746 --> 00:29:53,226 some jewelry? 542 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,227 For Banaca? 543 00:29:55,271 --> 00:29:56,533 Bianca! 544 00:29:56,707 --> 00:29:57,796 Right? Hmm. 545 00:30:03,149 --> 00:30:04,150 Okay, I love these earrings. 546 00:30:04,324 --> 00:30:05,804 They say "“I want to do you... 547 00:30:05,978 --> 00:30:06,674 but like... 548 00:30:06,848 --> 00:30:07,980 forever."” 549 00:30:10,069 --> 00:30:12,811 Maybe in another life you were a personal shopper. 550 00:30:12,985 --> 00:30:15,204 Well now I can be? 551 00:30:15,378 --> 00:30:17,772 I'll be like Norma Desmond from "“Sunset Boulevard"”, 552 00:30:17,946 --> 00:30:20,601 but instead of holing up in my house wooing a younger man, 553 00:30:20,775 --> 00:30:22,516 I'll be helping folks pick the exact right 554 00:30:22,690 --> 00:30:25,824 pair of cufflinks to wear to granddaddy's funeral. 555 00:30:28,174 --> 00:30:30,176 Why are you some kind of like... 556 00:30:30,350 --> 00:30:32,700 crazy Auntie Mame hermit these days? 557 00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,398 Oh, my God. 558 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:39,489 That's like the best compliment I've ever gotten in my life! 559 00:30:39,663 --> 00:30:41,535 I love that you know that film! 560 00:30:41,709 --> 00:30:43,276 My mom watches movies. 561 00:30:43,450 --> 00:30:46,888 She loved you in "“Operation Octopus"”. 562 00:30:47,062 --> 00:30:48,847 Nobody liked that movie! 563 00:30:49,021 --> 00:30:52,589 She would leave her singles cruise in a lifeboat right now 564 00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:54,113 If she knew I was with... 565 00:30:54,287 --> 00:30:55,549 "“The Cookie Jerk"” 566 00:30:57,246 --> 00:30:58,682 Oh, I do send that out. 567 00:30:58,857 --> 00:30:59,596 Every year. 568 00:30:59,770 --> 00:31:00,728 Just look at-- 569 00:31:03,470 --> 00:31:04,732 See, they show that... 570 00:31:04,906 --> 00:31:06,081 and then they show this. 571 00:31:07,169 --> 00:31:08,954 Like, "“she used to be sooo cute, 572 00:31:09,128 --> 00:31:10,651 but look at her now."” 573 00:31:10,825 --> 00:31:13,306 Like it's a crime getting old! 574 00:31:15,134 --> 00:31:16,613 Yeah, for men too. 575 00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:19,616 It's worse for women. 576 00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:21,009 Okay. 577 00:31:21,183 --> 00:31:21,880 But... 578 00:31:22,054 --> 00:31:23,751 men can't be weak. 579 00:31:23,925 --> 00:31:26,145 And that's why I picked my stage name: 580 00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:27,059 Strong. 581 00:31:27,842 --> 00:31:29,104 Ace Strong. 582 00:31:29,278 --> 00:31:30,845 Stop! It's... 583 00:31:31,019 --> 00:31:32,586 - very on the nose. - It's very on the nose! 584 00:31:36,546 --> 00:31:38,026 Okay, okay. 585 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,636 But if you could go back, 586 00:31:40,637 --> 00:31:41,900 would you turn down the role? 587 00:31:43,553 --> 00:31:45,251 So we're getting personal? 588 00:31:47,775 --> 00:31:48,645 Shall we? 589 00:31:49,777 --> 00:31:51,605 No, I mean, 590 00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:54,347 I love being on set. 591 00:31:55,609 --> 00:31:57,785 but then I'd go back and learn how to direct. You know? 592 00:31:57,959 --> 00:32:00,309 like Spielberg it as a teenager. 593 00:32:00,657 --> 00:32:02,268 Tell the stories. 594 00:32:03,399 --> 00:32:04,313 So do it now. 595 00:32:07,099 --> 00:32:07,926 It's hard. 596 00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,188 - And I'm just-- - Don't. 597 00:32:09,666 --> 00:32:10,754 - I'm too old to start! - No! 598 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,582 - No, I am! - Nooo! 599 00:32:12,756 --> 00:32:14,715 No! Stop! You-- 600 00:32:14,889 --> 00:32:16,891 You bought in! You're-- 601 00:32:17,065 --> 00:32:18,458 You're ageist against yourself. 602 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:19,589 No! Uh-- 603 00:32:20,416 --> 00:32:21,765 Okay. 604 00:32:23,854 --> 00:32:25,378 What about you, tough guy? 605 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:26,988 - Huh? - What? 606 00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:29,034 Your ankle's pretty messed up. 607 00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:34,169 I am in the best shape of my life. 608 00:32:34,778 --> 00:32:36,606 Okay? Doctor says the word. 609 00:32:36,780 --> 00:32:38,043 I'm back on track. 610 00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:41,133 And if not? 611 00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:44,614 I just need a couple good years. 612 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:46,312 When you don't get hurt? 613 00:32:47,139 --> 00:32:47,835 Yeah. 614 00:32:48,401 --> 00:32:49,184 And... 615 00:32:49,489 --> 00:32:50,969 You know, then maybe I can 616 00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:52,492 get into stunt coordinating. 617 00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:55,190 I just need to... 618 00:32:55,364 --> 00:32:57,192 you know, make a name for myself first. 619 00:32:59,673 --> 00:33:01,066 But if not there's like 620 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,981 other things people like you can do, right? 621 00:33:05,505 --> 00:33:07,289 "“People like me"”? 622 00:33:07,463 --> 00:33:08,290 who... 623 00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:09,770 train their whole lives 624 00:33:09,944 --> 00:33:11,772 care for their body, and... 625 00:33:12,816 --> 00:33:13,861 then have the best 626 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,037 opportunity of their career 627 00:33:16,211 --> 00:33:18,518 only to have a freak accident? 628 00:33:22,652 --> 00:33:23,349 No. 629 00:33:25,742 --> 00:33:27,048 No, this is wh... 630 00:33:27,701 --> 00:33:28,832 what I was born to do. 631 00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:34,534 You're scared to reinvent yourself. 632 00:33:34,708 --> 00:33:35,665 And so am I. 633 00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:37,276 '‘Cause I'm old! 634 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,887 I have bursitis! 635 00:33:40,061 --> 00:33:41,584 and my skin is retreating 636 00:33:41,758 --> 00:33:43,151 from my neck! 637 00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:44,935 Stop laughing! 638 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:46,111 It's not funny! 639 00:33:46,285 --> 00:33:47,025 It's real. 640 00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:49,679 Nobody thinks this is sexy. 641 00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:51,768 And guess what? I'm right there with them. 642 00:33:51,942 --> 00:33:53,379 I want to hump some 18 year olds too! 643 00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:56,817 I maybe just don't want to have to talk to '‘em after. 644 00:33:58,862 --> 00:34:01,169 '‘Cause all my jokes are from 30 year old films and TV. 645 00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:02,779 I can quote the hell out of some "“Full House"” 646 00:34:02,953 --> 00:34:04,477 and I want someone to appreciate that. 647 00:34:04,651 --> 00:34:06,000 Stop laughing! 648 00:34:07,349 --> 00:34:10,439 ♪ Come here, baby. Kiss me under this mistletoe ♪ 649 00:34:14,661 --> 00:34:15,923 Hey, can you um... 650 00:34:16,097 --> 00:34:17,577 pass me some gingersnaps? 651 00:34:17,751 --> 00:34:18,969 No! No, no! 652 00:34:19,144 --> 00:34:21,320 A promise is a promise, Sparky. 653 00:34:21,755 --> 00:34:22,712 Sparky? 654 00:34:22,886 --> 00:34:24,366 And we are on a crash diet 655 00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:25,889 for Kimmy Gibbler's birthday party. 656 00:34:27,804 --> 00:34:29,589 See? See what I did? 657 00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:30,720 It was good. 658 00:34:31,634 --> 00:34:32,940 Okay. 659 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,164 Can you get yourself home alright, partner? 660 00:34:39,686 --> 00:34:40,469 Believe so. 661 00:34:40,904 --> 00:34:41,818 Okay. 662 00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,925 ♪ Wind you up, boy ♪ 663 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,362 ♪ Get your gears going ♪ 664 00:35:03,536 --> 00:35:04,711 ♪ Yeah ♪ 665 00:35:04,885 --> 00:35:08,671 ♪ Hey now, hey now, hey now ♪ 666 00:35:08,845 --> 00:35:11,283 ♪ As I pull your little string ♪ 667 00:35:11,457 --> 00:35:13,198 ♪ Make you say the nicest thing ♪ 668 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:18,986 ♪ Oh! Oh, hey now, hey now, hey now ♪ 669 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,857 ♪ If could have my way ♪ 670 00:35:21,031 --> 00:35:23,599 ♪ You'd be my robot baby ♪ 671 00:35:23,773 --> 00:35:27,995 ♪ Hey now, hey now, hey now ♪ 672 00:35:28,169 --> 00:35:30,476 ♪ '‘Cause you're better than a boyfriend ♪ 673 00:35:30,650 --> 00:35:32,695 ♪ Who would take my heart and pretend ♪ 674 00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:34,044 ♪ to stay now ♪ 675 00:35:34,219 --> 00:35:38,614 ♪ Hey now, hey now ♪ 676 00:35:38,788 --> 00:35:41,139 ♪ Robot boy, hey, ♪ 677 00:35:41,313 --> 00:35:43,228 ♪ Beep boop, beep boop beep boop ♪ 678 00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:45,795 ♪ Robot boy. Sing it loud! ♪ 679 00:35:45,969 --> 00:35:47,667 ♪ Beep boop, Beep boop, beep boop ♪ 680 00:35:47,841 --> 00:35:49,451 ♪ I ♪ 681 00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:52,237 ♪ I try ♪ 682 00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:54,500 ♪ to believe in love before ♪ 683 00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:57,155 ♪ But it leaves me wanting more ♪ 684 00:35:57,329 --> 00:35:59,287 ♪ I ♪ 685 00:35:59,461 --> 00:36:01,681 ♪ have tried ♪ 686 00:36:01,855 --> 00:36:04,074 ♪ to fall in love again ♪ 687 00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:06,425 ♪ But it always hurts my feelings ♪ 688 00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:08,688 ♪ All I need is a Robot Boy ♪ 689 00:36:08,862 --> 00:36:11,256 ♪ '‘Cause he will bring me joy ♪ 690 00:36:11,430 --> 00:36:13,475 ♪ And I know he won't break my heart ♪ 691 00:36:13,649 --> 00:36:16,870 ♪ like the other boys did before ♪ 692 00:36:17,044 --> 00:36:18,828 ♪ Robot Boy, hey ♪ 693 00:36:19,655 --> 00:36:21,744 ♪ Beep boop, beep boop, beep boop ♪ 694 00:36:21,918 --> 00:36:24,399 ♪ Robot Boy, hey ♪ 695 00:36:24,573 --> 00:36:26,532 ♪ Beep boop, beep boop, beep boop ♪ 696 00:36:26,706 --> 00:36:29,187 ♪ Robot Boy, hey! ♪ 697 00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:31,450 ♪ Beep boop, beep boop, beep boop ♪ 698 00:36:31,624 --> 00:36:33,626 ♪ Robot Boy. Everybody at home! ♪ 699 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,715 ♪ Beep boop, beep boop, beep boop ♪ 700 00:36:44,332 --> 00:36:48,684 ♪ 4 Days '‘til Christmas ♪ 701 00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:51,034 ♪ Girl, you do you ♪ 702 00:36:54,168 --> 00:36:54,951 Yeah! 703 00:36:58,128 --> 00:37:01,436 Not sure you're famous enough for the wig and glasses. 704 00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:05,875 Okay. 705 00:37:06,441 --> 00:37:07,312 What are you going to say to her when you see her? 706 00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:08,791 Set the scene for me. 707 00:37:09,357 --> 00:37:11,316 She's there looking all gorgeous, 708 00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:14,057 surrounded by people full of holiday cheer. 709 00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:17,496 You're there. Sharp suit, Grinch face. 710 00:37:17,670 --> 00:37:19,062 What are you going to say, Hot Shot? 711 00:37:19,672 --> 00:37:22,152 Hey, uh, Bianca... I-- 712 00:37:23,545 --> 00:37:24,764 Uhh, hey Bianca. 713 00:37:24,938 --> 00:37:25,939 What's up, girl? 714 00:37:26,113 --> 00:37:27,288 That's not what I sound like. 715 00:37:27,462 --> 00:37:28,811 No, you got to be suave. 716 00:37:29,725 --> 00:37:31,510 Sweep her off her feet. You know? 717 00:37:31,814 --> 00:37:32,598 Sweep her... 718 00:37:32,772 --> 00:37:33,686 up onto your scooter. 719 00:37:35,557 --> 00:37:37,385 I want to tell her that this accident 720 00:37:37,559 --> 00:37:40,258 put a lot of things into perspective for me? 721 00:37:40,432 --> 00:37:41,563 And... 722 00:37:42,434 --> 00:37:44,653 that I'm willing to be more flexible. 723 00:37:45,045 --> 00:37:46,264 And... 724 00:37:46,916 --> 00:37:48,178 Li-- listen... 725 00:37:48,353 --> 00:37:49,136 to her? 726 00:37:50,180 --> 00:37:51,834 Yeah. Yeah, that's good. 727 00:37:52,008 --> 00:37:52,879 Oh that-- 728 00:37:53,053 --> 00:37:54,184 "“That's good"”? 729 00:37:54,359 --> 00:37:56,883 No snark from Eve Carter? 730 00:37:57,057 --> 00:37:59,929 Why are you saying my whole name like you're from TMZ? 731 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,715 Maybe you can segue into tabloid host. 732 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:05,326 You're here live with 733 00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:07,241 Ace Strong, 734 00:38:07,415 --> 00:38:10,375 former stunt man, current gossip king of Avondale Estates. 735 00:38:10,853 --> 00:38:12,725 We're outside the home of... 736 00:38:12,899 --> 00:38:15,423 some famous asshole just trying to live their life in peace. 737 00:38:15,597 --> 00:38:17,643 Let's see if we can catch a glimpse 738 00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,819 of their greasy hair whilst they haul their 739 00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:22,517 recycling bin full of vodka bottles to the curb! 740 00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:25,346 Alright. 741 00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:27,957 I'll give this a whirl. You take this. 742 00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,053 Don't stare at me like that. 743 00:38:37,227 --> 00:38:39,273 I just don't want to have to piggyback your ass to the house. 744 00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:42,494 You are 100% going to piggyback my ass to the house. 745 00:38:42,668 --> 00:38:44,626 No, sir. I will leave you on the ground. 746 00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:57,160 Oh, Jesus! 747 00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:58,684 How long have you been there? 748 00:39:01,208 --> 00:39:02,427 What uh-- 749 00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:03,776 What do you think? 750 00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:05,343 You look really nice. 751 00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:07,345 "“Really nice"”? 752 00:39:07,519 --> 00:39:08,998 Mm hmm. 753 00:39:09,172 --> 00:39:10,348 Yeah, but you kind of look like a pallbearer. 754 00:39:10,783 --> 00:39:11,871 You need some Ace flair. 755 00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:20,314 What the hell does that mean? 756 00:39:34,197 --> 00:39:35,938 Eeeek! 757 00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:02,791 Happy Hour starting... 758 00:40:04,053 --> 00:40:04,837 early? 759 00:40:05,490 --> 00:40:07,622 I can't remember my passwords, 760 00:40:07,796 --> 00:40:10,059 except for my Nordstrom password, '‘cause I'm a lady. 761 00:40:11,365 --> 00:40:12,627 Oh, good. 762 00:40:13,889 --> 00:40:15,195 What are you missing out on? 763 00:40:15,369 --> 00:40:16,849 I'm trying post a photo of this beauty. 764 00:40:18,894 --> 00:40:19,939 Take a picture of it. 765 00:40:20,983 --> 00:40:23,159 I'm trying to post a photo so people can see it. 766 00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:25,335 Like my sister who gave it to me. 767 00:40:25,510 --> 00:40:26,685 She knows what a cake looks like. 768 00:40:26,859 --> 00:40:28,687 Okay, but it's me saying I'm grateful. 769 00:40:28,861 --> 00:40:30,732 So call her and tell her. 770 00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:33,866 Okay, also I'd get like 3000 likes. 771 00:40:34,388 --> 00:40:35,476 It's called social capital. 772 00:40:35,650 --> 00:40:37,173 If someone likes you, 773 00:40:37,347 --> 00:40:38,392 you're more appealing to others. 774 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:42,135 People would be all impressed by your 775 00:40:42,309 --> 00:40:45,051 big pretty cake and think more highly of you? 776 00:40:45,921 --> 00:40:47,836 Bianca was into the same stuff. It's nuts. 777 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:50,143 You know none of this means anything, right? 778 00:40:50,317 --> 00:40:53,059 It might mean the difference between me getting my dream job or not. 779 00:40:53,581 --> 00:40:54,234 Oh! 780 00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,149 Eve, why didn't-- 781 00:40:56,323 --> 00:40:57,585 Why didn't you say that? 782 00:40:58,194 --> 00:40:59,282 Let me help you out. 783 00:41:00,153 --> 00:41:01,023 Like. 784 00:41:01,763 --> 00:41:02,590 Like. 785 00:41:03,156 --> 00:41:04,070 Like. 786 00:41:04,505 --> 00:41:04,940 - Like. - Stop that. 787 00:41:05,114 --> 00:41:05,985 Like. 788 00:41:06,159 --> 00:41:06,942 - Stop! - Like. 789 00:41:07,116 --> 00:41:08,161 Like, like. 790 00:41:08,335 --> 00:41:09,075 - Like, like. - You know what? 791 00:41:09,249 --> 00:41:10,946 Nobody likes you. 792 00:41:12,295 --> 00:41:13,558 Yikes. 793 00:41:13,732 --> 00:41:14,820 See that's why I'm not on the socials. 794 00:41:14,994 --> 00:41:16,082 It's ugly out there. 795 00:41:16,256 --> 00:41:17,387 Also, 796 00:41:17,562 --> 00:41:19,564 you can't have any of my cake. 797 00:41:19,738 --> 00:41:20,956 I don't want any of your damn cake! 798 00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:22,871 It's coconut. 799 00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:23,916 What? 800 00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:25,308 Even more reason! 801 00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:44,676 Sure you don't want some? 802 00:41:45,024 --> 00:41:45,851 No. 803 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:48,723 Stop! 804 00:41:54,816 --> 00:41:55,513 You have-- 805 00:41:56,122 --> 00:41:56,775 What? 806 00:41:58,690 --> 00:41:59,647 You have frosting-- 807 00:41:59,821 --> 00:42:00,735 - No. - Did I get it? 808 00:42:00,909 --> 00:42:02,128 No. It's on the other side. 809 00:42:03,129 --> 00:42:04,130 Stop! 810 00:42:04,304 --> 00:42:06,088 You look so dumb. Stop. 811 00:42:16,446 --> 00:42:17,143 Thanks. 812 00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:19,362 Yeah. 813 00:42:22,496 --> 00:42:23,541 Thanks, buddy. 814 00:43:15,897 --> 00:43:21,947 ♪ 3 Days '‘til Christmas ♪ 815 00:43:22,121 --> 00:43:24,166 ♪ Oh, he smells so good! ♪ 816 00:43:37,571 --> 00:43:38,485 Charlie Belfour... 817 00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:39,834 The-- the director? 818 00:43:40,008 --> 00:43:41,793 He's an hole! 819 00:43:43,185 --> 00:43:44,273 You know they titled it 820 00:43:44,447 --> 00:43:46,101 "“Christmas with MORE Jerks"” 821 00:43:46,275 --> 00:43:47,276 Tha-- the title! 822 00:43:49,539 --> 00:43:51,237 That movie is gonna blow! 823 00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:13,172 All Cookie Jerk wanted for Christmas 824 00:44:13,346 --> 00:44:15,304 was a Punky Brewster doll. 825 00:44:16,044 --> 00:44:17,089 Jiminy Christmas! 826 00:44:17,263 --> 00:44:19,178 This eggnog is disgusting! 827 00:44:20,701 --> 00:44:21,528 And that little jerk 828 00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:22,485 would stop at nothing 829 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:23,530 until she got one. 830 00:44:25,314 --> 00:44:26,881 Her family will follow her 831 00:44:27,055 --> 00:44:29,231 all over New York City until they find her. 832 00:44:30,755 --> 00:44:33,366 All I got for Christmas is a candy cane! 833 00:44:35,716 --> 00:44:37,413 And in the meantime, 834 00:44:37,587 --> 00:44:39,372 they just might find the true meaning of Christmas. 835 00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:43,028 ♪ Christmas with Jerks ♪ 836 00:44:43,202 --> 00:44:44,333 Now... 837 00:44:44,507 --> 00:44:46,292 take off your clothes. 838 00:45:00,393 --> 00:45:03,309 Now do exactly as I say. 839 00:45:04,223 --> 00:45:06,355 Turn to the left. 840 00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:09,837 Yes. 841 00:45:10,011 --> 00:45:11,926 Now turn to the right. 842 00:45:15,625 --> 00:45:17,715 We are going to indicate incision sites. 843 00:45:17,889 --> 00:45:19,847 Areas to be altered. 844 00:45:20,021 --> 00:45:22,632 As well as those to be avoided when you get here. 845 00:45:22,807 --> 00:45:24,112 But this will save some time. 846 00:45:26,593 --> 00:45:28,508 Okay, we can straighten out your nose 847 00:45:28,682 --> 00:45:30,162 when we do the rest of your face. 848 00:45:30,336 --> 00:45:31,685 And, uh... 849 00:45:32,207 --> 00:45:34,253 What about your earlobes? 850 00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:36,646 My earlobes? 851 00:45:36,821 --> 00:45:39,911 Yes. Most patients prefer to have the detached earlobes. 852 00:45:40,085 --> 00:45:41,390 I can do this for you, no problem. 853 00:45:42,696 --> 00:45:43,610 Okay. 854 00:45:44,829 --> 00:45:46,787 And you mentioned some 855 00:45:46,961 --> 00:45:49,311 syndactyly in your digits? 856 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:52,967 Some webbed toes? 857 00:45:53,141 --> 00:45:54,664 Oh, yeah. 858 00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:57,493 Careful, doc. They're the reason I'm a fast swimmer. 859 00:46:02,411 --> 00:46:04,022 Oh, wow. 860 00:46:04,196 --> 00:46:06,764 I-- I see you have sizable bunions as well. 861 00:46:06,938 --> 00:46:08,417 Uh, that's okay. That's-- 862 00:46:08,591 --> 00:46:10,202 That's-- That's not-- uh-- That's not good. 863 00:46:10,376 --> 00:46:12,204 But I can take care of both of these for you. 864 00:46:12,378 --> 00:46:13,596 They don't hurt. 865 00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:15,729 Just wait. 866 00:46:16,338 --> 00:46:19,646 And in the meantime, we can take care of these unsightly bumps, hmm? 867 00:46:19,820 --> 00:46:21,909 Okay, uh, you haven't mentioned 868 00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:25,130 labiaplasty, but I'm seeing some-- 869 00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,262 Oh, no, no, no, no. 870 00:46:27,436 --> 00:46:30,048 My girl is perfect just the way she is. 871 00:46:30,222 --> 00:46:32,006 We're doing some incredible things 872 00:46:32,180 --> 00:46:34,400 in vaginal rejuvenation for 873 00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:35,444 women of 874 00:46:35,618 --> 00:46:37,533 advanced age. 875 00:46:39,709 --> 00:46:42,669 Could I just get an itemization of the costs? 876 00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:45,193 Of course. 877 00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:47,630 Do you have any more questions for me? 878 00:46:48,109 --> 00:46:49,154 Is it going to hurt? 879 00:46:51,460 --> 00:46:52,940 For sure! 880 00:46:53,114 --> 00:46:55,377 Pain is painful, right? 881 00:47:45,732 --> 00:47:46,864 You having a party? 882 00:47:47,386 --> 00:47:49,431 Christmas comes, but once a year! 883 00:47:50,519 --> 00:47:51,651 That's quite a dress. 884 00:47:52,173 --> 00:47:53,392 This old thing? 885 00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:56,134 It's a family tradition. 886 00:47:57,439 --> 00:47:58,788 My mom always did a big hors d'oeuvres night 887 00:47:58,963 --> 00:48:00,268 before Christmas. 888 00:48:01,182 --> 00:48:04,098 She was a teacher, and her students would bring her little treats. 889 00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:07,101 And we'd cover the table in '‘em and it was like... 890 00:48:07,275 --> 00:48:08,668 snack roulette. 891 00:48:12,324 --> 00:48:13,151 I'm telling a story. 892 00:48:13,325 --> 00:48:14,500 Take the champs. 893 00:48:19,287 --> 00:48:21,681 And she'd put out all the presents they gave her. 894 00:48:21,855 --> 00:48:23,857 you know, like pot holders and 895 00:48:24,031 --> 00:48:25,554 stuff with little apples on it. 896 00:48:28,035 --> 00:48:29,341 But this one year, 897 00:48:29,515 --> 00:48:31,299 she had a student and she said, 898 00:48:32,822 --> 00:48:34,476 he didn't have anything to give her. 899 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:37,566 So the day before break, 900 00:48:37,740 --> 00:48:39,264 he brings her this dress 901 00:48:39,438 --> 00:48:41,092 in a beat up old box. 902 00:48:43,224 --> 00:48:44,965 And it was his mom's. 903 00:48:45,139 --> 00:48:46,880 And it was the nicest thing they could think to give her. 904 00:48:49,796 --> 00:48:51,754 That was the Christmas after my dad died. 905 00:48:52,451 --> 00:48:54,888 And we all just cried about it the whole night. 906 00:48:56,455 --> 00:48:58,936 And said how he would've cried too, you know? 907 00:49:01,112 --> 00:49:02,026 And then my mom would wear it 908 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,810 every year after. 909 00:49:05,551 --> 00:49:07,335 I think to show up for us. 910 00:49:07,509 --> 00:49:08,249 You know? 911 00:49:09,076 --> 00:49:10,077 For her life. 912 00:49:12,036 --> 00:49:13,951 Ashley inherited it, so-- 913 00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:19,913 My dad... 914 00:49:21,610 --> 00:49:22,960 died last year. 915 00:49:29,401 --> 00:49:31,011 Does it get easier? 916 00:49:39,672 --> 00:49:40,978 Okay, uh... 917 00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:42,762 Why didn't she 918 00:49:43,154 --> 00:49:44,111 return the dress? 919 00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:46,722 She tried! 920 00:49:46,896 --> 00:49:48,768 They wouldn't take it back. Aw! 921 00:49:50,030 --> 00:49:51,466 Okay! 922 00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,252 That's my crab Rangoon. Do not be a scrotum! 923 00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:55,601 Eat my Rangoon. 924 00:49:55,775 --> 00:49:56,994 It's delicious. 925 00:50:23,150 --> 00:50:24,586 Beep boop, beep boop ♪ 926 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:27,154 ♪ beep boop. Robot Boy, sing it now! ♪ 927 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,287 Hello! 928 00:50:29,809 --> 00:50:31,158 Eve Carter. 929 00:50:31,332 --> 00:50:32,899 What are you up to? 930 00:50:33,073 --> 00:50:36,163 You've gotten 2,000 new followers in 24 hours? 931 00:50:36,337 --> 00:50:37,469 Who is this mystery man? 932 00:50:37,643 --> 00:50:39,601 Wait for it. 933 00:50:39,775 --> 00:50:41,951 I'm just laying low and proving I'm the best person 934 00:50:42,126 --> 00:50:43,866 for the role of Emma, darling! 935 00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,607 I'm a matchmaker at heart. 936 00:50:46,304 --> 00:50:47,087 Well... 937 00:50:47,348 --> 00:50:48,306 Can't hurt. 938 00:50:48,697 --> 00:50:49,611 Follow along, dear. 939 00:50:49,872 --> 00:50:51,439 I have a plan! 940 00:50:58,272 --> 00:51:02,972 ♪ 2 Days '‘til Christmas ♪ 941 00:51:03,147 --> 00:51:05,627 ♪ Ew, ew, ew, you better wash those hands! ♪ 942 00:51:56,330 --> 00:51:58,158 Oh?! Were you still sleeping? 943 00:51:58,724 --> 00:51:59,551 Yeah. 944 00:51:59,942 --> 00:52:00,987 I need... 945 00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:02,641 a full 9 when I'm recovering. 946 00:52:02,815 --> 00:52:04,338 You got 10 minutes. Time's a wasting. 947 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,775 Come on, Mickey! 948 00:52:06,949 --> 00:52:07,907 Let's go! 949 00:52:09,996 --> 00:52:11,867 For what?! 950 00:52:19,527 --> 00:52:22,400 ♪ Ready to fall in love this Christmas? ♪ 951 00:52:22,574 --> 00:52:25,142 ♪ Fall in love with me ♪ 952 00:52:25,316 --> 00:52:26,143 Jam' on! 953 00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:28,754 What? 954 00:52:29,363 --> 00:52:30,799 You are going to make sure 955 00:52:30,973 --> 00:52:32,801 that Brit Brit knows you're ready to party. 956 00:52:33,411 --> 00:52:34,151 Bianca. 957 00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:35,152 Yeah. 958 00:52:38,459 --> 00:52:39,243 What are you doing? 959 00:52:39,417 --> 00:52:40,418 Texting her. 960 00:52:40,766 --> 00:52:42,202 What are you writing? 961 00:52:42,376 --> 00:52:44,378 Are you going to be at Crystal's tomorrow night? 962 00:52:45,205 --> 00:52:46,075 "“Do you still like me?"” 963 00:52:46,250 --> 00:52:47,164 "“Check yes or no."” 964 00:52:48,687 --> 00:52:49,253 '‘Kay. 965 00:52:49,427 --> 00:52:50,906 She ended things 966 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,212 because you're no fun. 967 00:52:52,386 --> 00:52:53,518 And... 968 00:52:54,432 --> 00:52:55,737 I'm not flexible? 969 00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:58,175 I mean, physically, I am very flexible. 970 00:53:00,481 --> 00:53:02,440 Alright, maybe not emotionally, though. 971 00:53:04,093 --> 00:53:06,922 So what we need to do is let her know you've changed 972 00:53:07,096 --> 00:53:08,968 So by the time you see her, 973 00:53:09,142 --> 00:53:11,057 she's gagging for it. 974 00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:14,800 I don't think you can say things like that anymore. 975 00:53:14,974 --> 00:53:16,802 Yeah, I can. But you certainly shouldn't. 976 00:53:16,976 --> 00:53:18,195 Pull up Instagram. 977 00:53:19,892 --> 00:53:20,893 Facebook? 978 00:53:21,546 --> 00:53:23,156 It got hacked a while back, but I 979 00:53:23,330 --> 00:53:24,810 think the account is still there? 980 00:53:24,984 --> 00:53:26,551 Okay, let's roll. 981 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:29,945 Okay. 982 00:53:31,817 --> 00:53:32,687 Hey, guys, uh... 983 00:53:32,861 --> 00:53:34,559 long time no see. 984 00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:37,170 At the request of a friend, 985 00:53:37,866 --> 00:53:39,520 uh, I wanted to let you know 986 00:53:39,694 --> 00:53:40,739 I'm back in town! 987 00:53:40,913 --> 00:53:42,654 I'd love to see you. 988 00:53:42,828 --> 00:53:44,221 Grab a holiday nosh. 989 00:53:45,309 --> 00:53:47,224 Yeah. So hit me up! 990 00:53:49,661 --> 00:53:51,532 I cannot say "“nosh"”. 991 00:53:51,706 --> 00:53:53,752 I'm not one of the Golden Girls. 992 00:53:53,926 --> 00:53:54,927 Okay. 993 00:53:55,101 --> 00:53:55,797 That was good energy, though. 994 00:53:55,971 --> 00:53:57,712 This time 995 00:53:57,886 --> 00:53:59,758 say "“drink"” instead of "“nosh"” and... 996 00:54:00,628 --> 00:54:02,761 give me a little devilish grin at the end. 997 00:54:02,935 --> 00:54:04,676 You know I'm not an actor, right? 998 00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:06,068 Yeah, I can tell. 999 00:54:07,026 --> 00:54:07,896 Okay. 1000 00:54:11,509 --> 00:54:14,120 Hey guys! Long time no see. 1001 00:54:14,294 --> 00:54:16,253 At the request of a friend... 1002 00:54:23,477 --> 00:54:24,261 Hey! 1003 00:54:24,435 --> 00:54:24,870 She watched my video! 1004 00:54:26,045 --> 00:54:26,959 She watched my video! 1005 00:54:27,133 --> 00:54:27,525 Yes! 1006 00:54:27,699 --> 00:54:28,743 Mmm! 1007 00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:33,313 Windmill it out! 1008 00:54:33,487 --> 00:54:34,575 Come on! 1009 00:54:34,749 --> 00:54:36,055 I can't do that! 1010 00:54:39,754 --> 00:54:40,668 Eve?! 1011 00:54:41,582 --> 00:54:42,627 EVE! 1012 00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:44,281 Hey, come here. 1013 00:54:45,456 --> 00:54:46,892 Crystal texted! 1014 00:54:48,241 --> 00:54:49,764 Hey! Crystal-- Crystal texted. 1015 00:54:49,938 --> 00:54:50,809 The friend? 1016 00:54:50,983 --> 00:54:51,940 What'd she say? 1017 00:54:52,114 --> 00:54:54,029 Come to my Dog and Nog. 1018 00:54:55,553 --> 00:54:57,642 Hot dogs and eggnog. It's-- 1019 00:54:58,773 --> 00:54:59,470 It's a thing. 1020 00:55:00,906 --> 00:55:02,299 Gagging. 1021 00:55:02,473 --> 00:55:04,431 You're so gross! 1022 00:55:05,345 --> 00:55:06,477 Let's celebrate. 1023 00:55:07,826 --> 00:55:09,567 Ashley told me how to turn on the hot tub. 1024 00:55:09,741 --> 00:55:10,307 What? 1025 00:55:11,917 --> 00:55:13,571 Come on, let's go! 1026 00:55:13,745 --> 00:55:14,876 We'll do some swimming. 1027 00:55:15,050 --> 00:55:16,095 Breaststroke. 1028 00:55:16,269 --> 00:55:18,140 What? What? 1029 00:55:18,793 --> 00:55:19,620 Come on, come on. 1030 00:55:19,794 --> 00:55:21,840 Hop up. Hop up. Hop up! 1031 00:55:22,014 --> 00:55:23,885 Who could say no to that? 1032 00:55:24,059 --> 00:55:24,886 Let's go! 1033 00:55:26,366 --> 00:55:27,976 Angela Merkel, 1034 00:55:28,977 --> 00:55:30,109 Melania Trump, 1035 00:55:31,066 --> 00:55:32,807 or Michelle Obama? 1036 00:55:32,981 --> 00:55:34,679 Oh, clear winner. 1037 00:55:34,853 --> 00:55:36,855 I gotta marry Michelle. 1038 00:55:37,029 --> 00:55:37,899 No! 1039 00:55:38,073 --> 00:55:39,248 It's a trick question. 1040 00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:40,989 Don't marry anyone. 1041 00:55:41,163 --> 00:55:42,643 Just be with someone 1042 00:55:42,817 --> 00:55:43,775 and be good to them 1043 00:55:43,949 --> 00:55:45,080 for as long 1044 00:55:45,254 --> 00:55:46,343 as you both shall live. 1045 00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:48,170 Alright. 1046 00:55:49,258 --> 00:55:51,173 Did you ever tie the knot? 1047 00:55:52,218 --> 00:55:53,828 I almost got married 1048 00:55:54,002 --> 00:55:55,526 for the wrong reasons 1049 00:55:55,700 --> 00:55:56,788 twice. 1050 00:55:56,962 --> 00:55:58,006 Why didn't you pull the trigger? 1051 00:55:59,007 --> 00:56:00,966 I think I needed to grow up some. 1052 00:56:01,140 --> 00:56:01,967 Yeah. 1053 00:56:02,141 --> 00:56:04,056 Hashtag spinster life. 1054 00:56:07,102 --> 00:56:07,929 Did you ever 1055 00:56:08,103 --> 00:56:09,191 tie the knot? 1056 00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:10,410 Nah. 1057 00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:12,064 Too busy working. 1058 00:56:12,238 --> 00:56:12,934 I... 1059 00:56:13,892 --> 00:56:14,893 like the nomad life. 1060 00:56:15,763 --> 00:56:16,590 Same. 1061 00:56:17,069 --> 00:56:18,940 Mmm. Mmm! 1062 00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:22,640 You can work around the clock at a big muscle gym! 1063 00:56:22,814 --> 00:56:24,032 "“A big muscle gym"”? 1064 00:56:24,206 --> 00:56:24,946 Mmhmm. 1065 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,208 And have tuna fish 1066 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,211 and wheatgrass Happy Hours 1067 00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:32,040 every Friday morning at 5 a.m. 1068 00:56:32,214 --> 00:56:33,259 after boot camp. 1069 00:56:34,086 --> 00:56:36,044 That actually sounds pretty great. 1070 00:56:36,218 --> 00:56:37,785 Ew! You're the worst. 1071 00:56:37,959 --> 00:56:39,178 What? 1072 00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,441 But I do need to get back to the gym in the new year. 1073 00:56:41,615 --> 00:56:44,357 No! You're the worst. People like you! 1074 00:56:44,531 --> 00:56:45,837 Always waiting '‘til the New Year 1075 00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:47,882 "“New Year's resolutions"” 1076 00:56:48,056 --> 00:56:48,927 "“Diet starts on Monday."” 1077 00:56:49,101 --> 00:56:50,407 No, it's now! 1078 00:56:51,059 --> 00:56:52,191 Ahh! 1079 00:56:52,713 --> 00:56:54,193 Doesn't matter anyway because 1080 00:56:54,367 --> 00:56:56,543 I'm getting a full body tuneup, toot sweet. 1081 00:56:58,066 --> 00:56:58,850 What? 1082 00:56:59,851 --> 00:57:01,243 Yeah. 1083 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:03,071 I'm getting a little NJ and a pick me up. 1084 00:57:03,245 --> 00:57:05,247 I don't speak Rodeo Drive. 1085 00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,380 Uh, liposuction, 1086 00:57:07,554 --> 00:57:10,122 some lifts and a nose job. 1087 00:57:10,296 --> 00:57:11,428 That's... 1088 00:57:11,602 --> 00:57:12,733 crazy. 1089 00:57:12,907 --> 00:57:13,604 Is it? 1090 00:57:15,867 --> 00:57:17,346 I never had any work done 1091 00:57:17,521 --> 00:57:19,087 because I was Cookie Jerk 1092 00:57:19,261 --> 00:57:21,655 for 35 fucking years 1093 00:57:21,829 --> 00:57:23,962 and then they shot the reboot without me! 1094 00:57:24,136 --> 00:57:25,572 They hired an influencer 1095 00:57:25,746 --> 00:57:27,835 to play my role with my film family. 1096 00:57:28,009 --> 00:57:29,576 So, 1097 00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,883 I don't think I need to look like Cookie anymore! 1098 00:57:36,540 --> 00:57:37,279 Sorry. 1099 00:57:38,890 --> 00:57:39,891 It got loud. 1100 00:57:40,065 --> 00:57:41,327 It got really loud. 1101 00:57:45,549 --> 00:57:46,419 Look... 1102 00:57:47,420 --> 00:57:49,030 go for what you want, Eve. 1103 00:57:49,901 --> 00:57:51,555 But do it on your terms. 1104 00:57:52,773 --> 00:57:53,557 And... 1105 00:57:53,731 --> 00:57:54,993 you know... 1106 00:57:55,341 --> 00:57:56,385 Don't carve yourself up like a Christmas ham 1107 00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,126 and expect to be happy after. 1108 00:58:01,695 --> 00:58:02,957 Christmas ham?! 1109 00:58:03,610 --> 00:58:05,525 That's going to be the title of my memoir. 1110 00:58:05,699 --> 00:58:07,396 Or my band name! Aw! 1111 00:58:11,792 --> 00:58:12,924 So I whipped my shirt off, 1112 00:58:13,098 --> 00:58:14,273 and I had 1113 00:58:14,447 --> 00:58:16,275 the world's oldest bra on 1114 00:58:16,449 --> 00:58:18,190 like cotton clamshells 1115 00:58:18,364 --> 00:58:21,498 from the fifties. I had borrowed it from my mother. 1116 00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,238 But I was going to do it with my crush, 1117 00:58:23,412 --> 00:58:25,327 and then he whispered, 1118 00:58:26,677 --> 00:58:28,896 "“You're moving too fast."” 1119 00:58:30,942 --> 00:58:33,074 No! 1120 00:58:33,248 --> 00:58:33,988 You did not get laid? 1121 00:58:34,162 --> 00:58:35,816 Oh, aw! 1122 00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:37,165 I wish! 1123 00:58:37,339 --> 00:58:38,689 That-- So, 1124 00:58:38,863 --> 00:58:41,169 I was on this TV show out in Arizona, 1125 00:58:42,127 --> 00:58:43,520 and there was this woman on set. 1126 00:58:43,694 --> 00:58:45,522 God, she was gorgeous. 1127 00:58:46,566 --> 00:58:48,829 I was so nervous to talk to her. 1128 00:58:49,003 --> 00:58:50,788 But I finally got the chance 1129 00:58:50,962 --> 00:58:52,485 to make out with her, right? 1130 00:58:52,659 --> 00:58:55,009 But I had had so much Jack Daniels 1131 00:58:55,706 --> 00:58:57,011 that by the time... 1132 00:58:57,185 --> 00:58:58,317 that it was time... 1133 00:58:59,013 --> 00:59:00,537 No boner? 1134 00:59:00,711 --> 00:59:01,407 Taffy pull. 1135 00:59:01,581 --> 00:59:02,756 Ewww! 1136 00:59:02,930 --> 00:59:03,931 That's not good! 1137 00:59:04,105 --> 00:59:05,454 No. 1138 00:59:05,629 --> 00:59:07,021 She didn't look me in the eyes again. 1139 00:59:07,195 --> 00:59:08,545 Aww! 1140 00:59:09,154 --> 00:59:11,330 There is one person I still think about from time to time. 1141 00:59:11,504 --> 00:59:12,766 You know, my uh... 1142 00:59:13,332 --> 00:59:14,376 first. 1143 00:59:15,203 --> 00:59:16,553 Mmmm. 1144 00:59:17,162 --> 00:59:18,467 You know, '‘cause my-- 1145 00:59:18,642 --> 00:59:20,426 my body said he was something special. 1146 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:21,993 And your brain? 1147 00:59:22,167 --> 00:59:22,994 Said we might kill each other. 1148 00:59:24,996 --> 00:59:26,258 Should you track him down? 1149 00:59:26,432 --> 00:59:28,956 God, no. I mean, I did, years ago. But-- 1150 00:59:30,088 --> 00:59:30,915 He's married. 1151 00:59:31,089 --> 00:59:32,133 Two kids. 1152 00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:33,657 Kinda looks like a... 1153 00:59:34,875 --> 00:59:36,747 stodgy old man now. 1154 00:59:37,269 --> 00:59:38,575 So he got-- 1155 00:59:38,749 --> 00:59:39,967 I know, I know. 1156 00:59:40,141 --> 00:59:41,795 But he doesn't look like fun old. 1157 00:59:41,969 --> 00:59:42,883 He looks like 1158 00:59:43,057 --> 00:59:45,494 an angry Santa. You know? 1159 00:59:45,669 --> 00:59:47,061 Why'd you call it quits? 1160 00:59:48,062 --> 00:59:49,803 Well, I think he loved me, 1161 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:52,284 but he didn't like me. 1162 00:59:52,458 --> 00:59:54,416 And what is not to like? 1163 00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:55,200 Okay. 1164 00:59:57,681 --> 00:59:58,682 Okay! 1165 00:59:58,856 --> 01:00:00,161 But let's talk about true love. 1166 01:00:01,293 --> 01:00:01,946 Let's talk about... 1167 01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,904 Brianna. 1168 01:00:04,078 --> 01:00:06,080 Bianca! It's Bianca! 1169 01:00:06,254 --> 01:00:07,516 Come on! 1170 01:00:08,343 --> 01:00:10,607 Does your body just know? 1171 01:00:11,912 --> 01:00:12,478 Yeah. 1172 01:00:13,392 --> 01:00:14,915 - I think so. - Yeah? 1173 01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:19,398 All right, well... 1174 01:00:20,312 --> 01:00:21,400 that's it for me. 1175 01:00:21,574 --> 01:00:22,619 Okay. 1176 01:00:27,841 --> 01:00:29,103 I should've had some agua. 1177 01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:30,888 - Here. - Here. Get-- 1178 01:00:31,062 --> 01:00:32,106 - No! - No! Eve! Eve! 1179 01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:36,154 Ow! 1180 01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:37,634 You okay? 1181 01:00:38,460 --> 01:00:39,984 Yeah, I'm okay. 1182 01:00:54,825 --> 01:00:55,652 Eve. 1183 01:00:57,479 --> 01:00:58,655 I-- 1184 01:01:00,526 --> 01:01:01,658 I'm sorry. 1185 01:01:02,310 --> 01:01:04,225 - It's okay. - It's not okay. 1186 01:01:05,313 --> 01:01:07,098 We're just a little drunk. 1187 01:01:08,142 --> 01:01:11,406 I'm crazy, but I try to never be a complete douche. 1188 01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,322 You're not a complete douche. 1189 01:01:14,496 --> 01:01:15,367 Just... 1190 01:01:15,889 --> 01:01:17,848 maybe a partial douche? 1191 01:01:19,110 --> 01:01:21,025 '‘Kay, I'm gonna... 1192 01:01:21,199 --> 01:01:22,374 I-- 1193 01:01:22,548 --> 01:01:23,680 Can you, uh-- 1194 01:01:24,419 --> 01:01:25,290 Yeah. 1195 01:01:26,770 --> 01:01:27,901 - Okay. - Oh, hey. 1196 01:01:29,555 --> 01:01:31,688 "“Chin up, Cookie."” 1197 01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,474 Are you doing movie lines on me? 1198 01:01:37,128 --> 01:01:37,955 Yea-- 1199 01:01:39,434 --> 01:01:40,435 Eve-- 1200 01:02:33,227 --> 01:02:38,798 ♪ 1 Day '‘Til Christmas ♪ 1201 01:02:38,972 --> 01:02:41,540 ♪ Girl, what did you do? ♪ 1202 01:03:57,529 --> 01:03:59,270 Hi. Did you find everything okay? 1203 01:03:59,444 --> 01:04:00,619 I did. 1204 01:04:00,924 --> 01:04:01,663 Wait, 1205 01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:04,144 are you Cookie Jerk? 1206 01:04:04,666 --> 01:04:06,581 I'm Cookie Jackass now. 1207 01:04:06,755 --> 01:04:08,105 I knew it! 1208 01:04:08,279 --> 01:04:10,977 I almost didn't recognize you because... 1209 01:04:12,239 --> 01:04:13,240 Got tall? 1210 01:04:13,719 --> 01:04:14,720 Yeah! 1211 01:05:09,383 --> 01:05:10,341 Eve? 1212 01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:36,715 That's why they call me... 1213 01:05:36,889 --> 01:05:38,891 Ace Strong. 1214 01:05:57,823 --> 01:05:59,477 Okay, can't do that yet. Can't do that yet. 1215 01:05:59,651 --> 01:06:00,478 That's okay. 1216 01:06:19,366 --> 01:06:21,716 You big old dirty slut! 1217 01:06:22,065 --> 01:06:24,458 I cannot believe you tried to bone Ace! 1218 01:06:24,763 --> 01:06:26,678 I thought you were done with love and going out in public. 1219 01:06:26,852 --> 01:06:28,027 I am. 1220 01:06:28,201 --> 01:06:29,072 Yeah, clearly. 1221 01:06:29,246 --> 01:06:30,508 Where are you right now? 1222 01:06:30,682 --> 01:06:32,118 In Jim's car, 1223 01:06:32,292 --> 01:06:33,380 in front of the house. 1224 01:06:36,383 --> 01:06:36,993 Okay. 1225 01:06:37,167 --> 01:06:38,864 Are you done? 1226 01:06:39,038 --> 01:06:41,084 Oh, I am never going to let you live this one down. 1227 01:06:41,258 --> 01:06:42,433 Absolutely not, Sister. 1228 01:06:42,607 --> 01:06:43,695 Ugh. 1229 01:06:43,869 --> 01:06:44,826 Do you have the coconut cake? 1230 01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:45,784 I already ate it. 1231 01:06:45,958 --> 01:06:46,959 I got something else. 1232 01:06:47,829 --> 01:06:48,352 Light her up! 1233 01:06:48,526 --> 01:06:49,222 Alright. 1234 01:06:57,056 --> 01:06:59,015 Okay, done. 1235 01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:01,147 Happy birthday, Baby Girl. 1236 01:07:01,321 --> 01:07:02,540 - I love you. - I love you. 1237 01:07:02,714 --> 01:07:03,628 Thanks. 1238 01:07:05,108 --> 01:07:06,892 Okay now, Evie, say the words. 1239 01:07:07,066 --> 01:07:08,459 I don't feel like it today. 1240 01:07:09,068 --> 01:07:10,591 I'm not asking. 1241 01:07:11,940 --> 01:07:13,725 I'm thankful for my birthday. 1242 01:07:14,204 --> 01:07:14,943 Mmhmm. 1243 01:07:15,118 --> 01:07:16,293 And every day. 1244 01:07:17,294 --> 01:07:18,904 I'm thankful for the chance to get older. 1245 01:07:19,078 --> 01:07:20,558 that some people never get. 1246 01:07:21,994 --> 01:07:23,300 Mmhmm. 1247 01:07:23,474 --> 01:07:26,129 I'm thankful for my family and friends. 1248 01:07:26,738 --> 01:07:28,696 And this here red velvet cupcake! 1249 01:07:31,264 --> 01:07:32,265 Mmhmm! 1250 01:07:32,439 --> 01:07:34,528 Get a big old bite, Sister! 1251 01:07:34,702 --> 01:07:36,704 Mmm, that's good. 1252 01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:38,489 Mmm! 1253 01:07:40,795 --> 01:07:41,927 Oh, Jesus. 1254 01:07:42,710 --> 01:07:43,624 That's rude. 1255 01:07:44,799 --> 01:07:46,105 What? Is somebody there? 1256 01:07:46,279 --> 01:07:47,324 Mmhmm. 1257 01:07:47,715 --> 01:07:48,673 Show me. Show me! 1258 01:07:50,457 --> 01:07:52,198 Hey! You big jerkface! Why don't you 1259 01:07:52,372 --> 01:07:53,591 - back the fuck up? - Stop! 1260 01:07:53,765 --> 01:07:56,246 I'm still trying to get that job! 1261 01:07:56,420 --> 01:07:58,509 Why do you think I've been doing all these posts about Ace? 1262 01:07:58,987 --> 01:08:00,380 What are you talking about? 1263 01:08:00,554 --> 01:08:02,252 I'm growing my following the old fashioned way. 1264 01:08:02,426 --> 01:08:04,297 Lots of cryptic posts about love. 1265 01:08:08,562 --> 01:08:10,869 Oh, my God. You got to take these down right now. 1266 01:08:11,043 --> 01:08:12,044 I can't. 1267 01:08:12,218 --> 01:08:13,567 They've got shitloads of views. 1268 01:08:13,741 --> 01:08:15,395 I can't believe you'd do this to him. 1269 01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:17,354 What? It's fine. 1270 01:08:17,528 --> 01:08:19,312 He's not even online. 1271 01:08:19,486 --> 01:08:22,968 Right! But the studio people that hired him are! 1272 01:08:23,795 --> 01:08:26,667 And you can clearly tell it's him in this last one. 1273 01:08:26,841 --> 01:08:28,669 I cannot believe you'd do this! 1274 01:08:28,843 --> 01:08:29,931 Ashley, it's fine. 1275 01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:31,672 No, it is not. 1276 01:08:31,846 --> 01:08:33,587 Do you even know why he's alone for the holidays? 1277 01:08:33,761 --> 01:08:35,328 He's recovering from surgery. 1278 01:08:35,502 --> 01:08:37,156 Right, and he doesn't want anyone 1279 01:08:37,330 --> 01:08:39,027 to know so he can keep his next job. 1280 01:08:39,202 --> 01:08:40,942 It's a big one, Evie. 1281 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:43,293 I would think you of all people would respect his privacy. 1282 01:08:43,467 --> 01:08:44,859 Ash! 1283 01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:46,861 Ash?! Don't "“Ash"” me. Look. 1284 01:08:47,471 --> 01:08:49,647 Take that shit down. Now. I got to go. 1285 01:08:49,821 --> 01:08:50,865 Take that shit down now. 1286 01:08:51,562 --> 01:08:52,171 Now! 1287 01:08:56,306 --> 01:08:57,872 Oh, Jesus. 1288 01:09:35,997 --> 01:09:37,651 Brian, talk to me. 1289 01:09:37,825 --> 01:09:39,436 So, down to business. 1290 01:09:39,610 --> 01:09:41,089 You didn't get the role of Emma. 1291 01:09:41,264 --> 01:09:42,830 What? Why? 1292 01:09:43,004 --> 01:09:45,137 I have thousands of new followers. 1293 01:09:45,746 --> 01:09:48,053 Andrea saw your last post and said it's no bueno. 1294 01:09:48,227 --> 01:09:49,402 But we'll get the next one. 1295 01:09:53,841 --> 01:09:54,973 Fuck! 1296 01:09:58,759 --> 01:10:00,457 Shit! 1297 01:10:07,290 --> 01:10:08,421 What do you think, Coach? 1298 01:10:09,727 --> 01:10:10,423 It's better. 1299 01:10:11,032 --> 01:10:11,903 Yeah? 1300 01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:14,514 Long time fanboy, huh? 1301 01:10:15,428 --> 01:10:16,299 Suits you. 1302 01:10:16,473 --> 01:10:17,517 The red. 1303 01:10:18,344 --> 01:10:19,302 You know, I could drive you over there. 1304 01:10:19,476 --> 01:10:20,999 She doesn't live that far away. 1305 01:10:21,173 --> 01:10:23,306 Oh, my buddy's waiting for me out front. 1306 01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:26,091 uh, so the house is yours. 1307 01:10:26,874 --> 01:10:28,006 Oh, and 1308 01:10:28,180 --> 01:10:29,964 I, uh, 1309 01:10:30,922 --> 01:10:31,966 I got you something. 1310 01:10:39,147 --> 01:10:40,105 Thanks. 1311 01:10:45,763 --> 01:10:48,069 Hey, do you remember the first time we met? 1312 01:10:48,461 --> 01:10:49,462 Yeah. 1313 01:10:49,636 --> 01:10:51,899 I was kind of a bitch, I guess. 1314 01:10:52,073 --> 01:10:53,379 No you weren't. 1315 01:10:55,947 --> 01:10:57,775 I was trying to get a kiss from Riley Tippet. 1316 01:11:04,564 --> 01:11:06,087 Gross! 1317 01:11:11,876 --> 01:11:13,007 Hey, Ace? 1318 01:11:14,748 --> 01:11:16,576 You know what my Mimi always says? 1319 01:11:17,882 --> 01:11:18,970 The bus comes along 1320 01:11:19,144 --> 01:11:21,146 every 10 minutes. 1321 01:11:24,105 --> 01:11:25,629 What does that mean? 1322 01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:27,805 It means you'll be a heartbreaker 1323 01:11:27,979 --> 01:11:29,589 after puberty. 1324 01:11:34,942 --> 01:11:35,813 Beat it, squirt. 1325 01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:42,472 Puberty. 1326 01:11:43,386 --> 01:11:46,084 And I have been a Cookie Jerk fan 1327 01:11:46,693 --> 01:11:47,868 ever since. 1328 01:11:48,956 --> 01:11:49,870 You were... 1329 01:11:52,003 --> 01:11:52,743 magic. 1330 01:11:54,048 --> 01:11:56,094 I was young and full of myself. 1331 01:11:57,443 --> 01:11:59,140 So be old and full of yourself. 1332 01:11:59,967 --> 01:12:00,925 I'm full of something. 1333 01:12:03,580 --> 01:12:04,450 All right, 1334 01:12:04,711 --> 01:12:05,756 beat it, squirt. 1335 01:12:08,106 --> 01:12:09,542 Eve, I-- 1336 01:12:09,716 --> 01:12:10,891 Ace, actually I want to tell you something. 1337 01:12:12,502 --> 01:12:14,330 The other night, I was so messed up. 1338 01:12:17,158 --> 01:12:18,682 You've been posting about me? 1339 01:12:19,639 --> 01:12:21,119 That's what I wanted to tell you. 1340 01:12:21,293 --> 01:12:22,860 See, that wasn't even about you. 1341 01:12:23,034 --> 01:12:24,688 - It's just that-- - Eve, what the hell? 1342 01:12:25,210 --> 01:12:26,733 Why would you do this? 1343 01:12:26,907 --> 01:12:27,647 Listen, I-- 1344 01:12:27,821 --> 01:12:28,387 I don't want to hear it. 1345 01:13:00,550 --> 01:13:03,640 ♪ It's Christmas Eve in the city ♪ 1346 01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:05,032 Fuck! 1347 01:13:05,206 --> 01:13:09,820 ♪ And all around the world ♪ 1348 01:13:12,736 --> 01:13:14,302 ♪ ...wish good will towards man ♪ 1349 01:13:14,477 --> 01:13:15,129 Bianca. 1350 01:13:15,434 --> 01:13:16,348 Hey, you. 1351 01:13:17,305 --> 01:13:18,742 Can I grab you a nog? 1352 01:13:19,133 --> 01:13:19,873 I'm sorry. 1353 01:13:20,047 --> 01:13:21,440 Where's Ace? 1354 01:13:21,614 --> 01:13:23,877 He only drinks raw eggs and lives in dry fit. 1355 01:13:28,795 --> 01:13:30,406 I'm trying to do things a little different. 1356 01:13:32,451 --> 01:13:33,496 It's good to see you. 1357 01:14:46,351 --> 01:14:48,135 Eve Carter. 1358 01:14:48,309 --> 01:14:49,833 Hey, you calling to yell at me again on Christmas Eve? 1359 01:14:50,007 --> 01:14:51,269 I got my kids on the speakerphone 1360 01:14:51,443 --> 01:14:52,662 so they can hear everything. 1361 01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:55,099 No, Charlie. 1362 01:14:55,273 --> 01:14:56,666 Well look, "“Christmas with More Jerks"” 1363 01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:58,755 wasn't quite right without you, kid. 1364 01:14:58,929 --> 01:15:00,191 Shadonna, it turns out, 1365 01:15:00,365 --> 01:15:01,758 is quite the "“Sha-diva"”. 1366 01:15:01,932 --> 01:15:04,369 So that's on me. 1367 01:15:04,543 --> 01:15:06,502 - Can you forgive me? - Maybe. Listen, 1368 01:15:07,372 --> 01:15:08,895 I need a favor. 1369 01:15:15,598 --> 01:15:19,297 ♪...under the mistletoe ♪ 1370 01:15:19,471 --> 01:15:22,866 ♪ Is a kiss on the top of your wish list? ♪ 1371 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,086 ♪ Well I know a girl you should know ♪ 1372 01:15:27,653 --> 01:15:28,436 ♪ She's sugar and spice ♪ 1373 01:15:28,611 --> 01:15:29,394 Eve? 1374 01:15:29,786 --> 01:15:31,352 ♪ Naughty and nice ♪ 1375 01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:32,832 What are you doing here? 1376 01:15:33,224 --> 01:15:34,312 What? Came to finish the job, 1377 01:15:34,486 --> 01:15:35,748 just needed an audience? 1378 01:15:36,793 --> 01:15:38,272 Go ahead. Just do it to my face. 1379 01:15:38,446 --> 01:15:39,796 I don't even have my phone. 1380 01:15:39,970 --> 01:15:41,232 Sorry if I don't believe you. 1381 01:15:41,841 --> 01:15:43,016 That's fair. 1382 01:15:43,190 --> 01:15:44,017 Who's this? 1383 01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:47,673 Cookie Jerk! 1384 01:15:49,980 --> 01:15:50,937 Oh, my gosh! 1385 01:15:51,111 --> 01:15:52,330 Let's take a selfie! 1386 01:16:00,773 --> 01:16:02,427 Why are you here, Eve? 1387 01:16:04,211 --> 01:16:05,648 I just wanted to make sure you got here okay. 1388 01:16:05,822 --> 01:16:07,258 And you did. You're doing great! 1389 01:16:07,432 --> 01:16:08,738 So I'm just going to go. 1390 01:16:13,090 --> 01:16:13,960 I screwed up. 1391 01:16:15,919 --> 01:16:17,094 I was so focused on what I wanted 1392 01:16:17,268 --> 01:16:18,704 I wasn't even thinking about you. 1393 01:16:18,878 --> 01:16:20,706 I just wanted you out of that house. 1394 01:16:22,490 --> 01:16:24,623 But somebody told me recently that if I wanted something, 1395 01:16:25,276 --> 01:16:27,017 I should go for it on my terms. 1396 01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:29,846 But the thing is, right now, 1397 01:16:30,324 --> 01:16:31,108 all I want... 1398 01:16:32,413 --> 01:16:33,763 is just a little more time with you. 1399 01:16:35,982 --> 01:16:36,983 Ooh! 1400 01:16:38,028 --> 01:16:38,594 Thank you. 1401 01:16:38,768 --> 01:16:40,117 Mistletoe! 1402 01:16:40,813 --> 01:16:41,814 Who is next? 1403 01:16:42,772 --> 01:16:44,077 - Come on. - We-- We talked about this. 1404 01:16:44,251 --> 01:16:45,862 Simon, consent. 1405 01:16:46,036 --> 01:16:47,167 Okay, Well, I-- 1406 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:48,604 Are you okay? 1407 01:16:50,388 --> 01:16:51,171 Wow. 1408 01:16:51,868 --> 01:16:52,564 She's, like, 1409 01:16:52,738 --> 01:16:53,609 obsessed with you. 1410 01:16:54,697 --> 01:16:55,436 That's... 1411 01:16:55,872 --> 01:16:56,960 so sad. 1412 01:16:57,134 --> 01:16:58,918 ♪ She's sugar and spice ♪ 1413 01:16:59,092 --> 01:17:01,051 ♪ But she's not asking twice ♪ 1414 01:17:01,225 --> 01:17:03,706 ♪ Waiting under that evergreen tree ♪ 1415 01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:06,665 ♪ If you're ready to fall in love this Christmas ♪ 1416 01:17:06,839 --> 01:17:10,800 ♪ Fall in love with me ♪ 1417 01:17:13,454 --> 01:17:14,847 You're saying no? 1418 01:17:15,021 --> 01:17:17,197 Andrea saw that viral party video. 1419 01:17:17,371 --> 01:17:19,547 She wants you now for Emma. 1420 01:17:19,722 --> 01:17:21,332 And your passing?! 1421 01:17:21,549 --> 01:17:22,942 Is this some kind of midlife crisis thing now? 1422 01:17:23,116 --> 01:17:24,988 No! 1423 01:17:25,162 --> 01:17:26,511 But you're bailing on the plastic surgery trip? 1424 01:17:26,685 --> 01:17:28,469 Well, I'm still going to get my Botox. 1425 01:17:28,644 --> 01:17:29,906 '‘Cause I'm not an animal. 1426 01:17:30,994 --> 01:17:32,735 And Andrea said I could shadow her 1427 01:17:32,909 --> 01:17:34,432 while she directs Emma this summer. 1428 01:17:35,041 --> 01:17:36,260 So you want to direct now? 1429 01:17:37,609 --> 01:17:39,219 I'm getting whiplash over here. 1430 01:17:39,959 --> 01:17:42,048 Look, I got to get back to my family. 1431 01:17:43,180 --> 01:17:44,311 Yeah, of course. 1432 01:17:44,834 --> 01:17:46,183 Let's talk next week. 1433 01:17:46,357 --> 01:17:47,793 Maybe you'll come to your senses. 1434 01:17:47,967 --> 01:17:49,142 Merry Christmas. 1435 01:17:49,752 --> 01:17:51,231 Merry Christmas to you, too. 1436 01:17:53,190 --> 01:17:54,278 Group shot! 1437 01:17:56,715 --> 01:17:58,195 Here, like this. 1438 01:18:03,809 --> 01:18:05,506 Next stop, Claremont Rooftop? 1439 01:18:05,985 --> 01:18:07,987 Havana Club! 1440 01:18:11,425 --> 01:18:12,339 Umm, 1441 01:18:12,513 --> 01:18:13,558 let's just go to a bar. 1442 01:18:14,472 --> 01:18:15,516 Mmhmm. 1443 01:18:26,005 --> 01:18:28,138 Why, Satan? Why?! 1444 01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:10,746 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1445 01:19:23,715 --> 01:19:24,455 Gross. 1446 01:19:36,728 --> 01:19:37,381 Hey, Mac. 1447 01:19:39,035 --> 01:19:40,297 Yeah, you saw the post. 1448 01:19:40,863 --> 01:19:42,603 Look, I'm-- I'm really sorry. 1449 01:19:44,823 --> 01:19:45,781 Wait, what? 1450 01:19:48,696 --> 01:19:50,350 They want to offer me what? 1451 01:19:56,922 --> 01:20:00,317 ♪ Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! ♪ 1452 01:20:15,941 --> 01:20:18,901 ♪ Oh, tell me do you want to get down tonight? ♪ 1453 01:20:19,075 --> 01:20:21,512 ♪ Do the Christmas boogie and it feels alright ♪ 1454 01:20:21,686 --> 01:20:24,167 ♪ Santa, let the music move your feet ♪ 1455 01:20:24,341 --> 01:20:26,430 ♪ Feel the eternal rhythm to the crazy beat ♪ 1456 01:20:26,604 --> 01:20:28,998 ♪ Aren't you tired of driving that same old sleigh? ♪ 1457 01:20:29,172 --> 01:20:31,696 ♪ You deserve a night to just play, play, play ♪ 1458 01:20:31,870 --> 01:20:34,090 ♪ No one's going to miss you for an hour or so ♪ 1459 01:20:34,264 --> 01:20:36,875 ♪ Come on, Santa! Let yourself go ♪ 1460 01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:37,876 Eve? 1461 01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:38,877 Oh shit! 1462 01:20:39,051 --> 01:20:40,139 Uh, sorry! Sorry! 1463 01:20:42,794 --> 01:20:43,664 Sorry. 1464 01:20:45,492 --> 01:20:46,842 Eve, thank you. 1465 01:20:48,713 --> 01:20:50,149 I know you made some calls for me. 1466 01:20:51,324 --> 01:20:52,064 And... 1467 01:20:53,587 --> 01:20:55,285 I get to stay in the multiverse. They're... 1468 01:20:56,329 --> 01:20:57,417 going to let me coordinate. 1469 01:20:59,028 --> 01:21:00,725 Are you sad you won't be in the spandex? 1470 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:05,861 Uh, with the higher rate I think I'll survive. 1471 01:21:09,299 --> 01:21:10,082 You know, I was-- 1472 01:21:10,256 --> 01:21:11,649 I was getting dressed. 1473 01:21:12,302 --> 01:21:12,868 Huh? 1474 01:21:13,694 --> 01:21:14,608 My ankle. 1475 01:21:16,045 --> 01:21:18,177 I wasn't driving a car out of a plane. 1476 01:21:18,351 --> 01:21:19,613 I was getting dressed. 1477 01:21:21,180 --> 01:21:23,748 Got my foot caught in my underwear, and 1478 01:21:23,922 --> 01:21:24,705 I tripped. 1479 01:21:25,750 --> 01:21:26,838 I guess I'm.... 1480 01:21:27,926 --> 01:21:29,754 - I guess I'm getting-- - Old? 1481 01:21:31,277 --> 01:21:32,583 Well, 1482 01:21:32,757 --> 01:21:34,193 today's my birthday. 1483 01:21:38,763 --> 01:21:40,896 I really like your suit. 1484 01:21:45,204 --> 01:21:47,119 She wanted you back. 1485 01:21:50,383 --> 01:21:51,036 Yeah. 1486 01:21:52,516 --> 01:21:53,386 She just... 1487 01:21:55,084 --> 01:21:56,128 doesn't really like me. 1488 01:21:59,958 --> 01:22:01,177 What's not to like? 1489 01:22:07,139 --> 01:22:10,142 You know my body says you're something special. 1490 01:22:10,751 --> 01:22:11,796 And your brain? 1491 01:22:11,970 --> 01:22:13,319 Says we might kill each other. 1492 01:22:13,493 --> 01:22:15,147 Oh, we're definitely going to kill each other. 1493 01:22:18,237 --> 01:22:21,762 ♪ I just want to be with you for Christmas ♪ 1494 01:22:23,112 --> 01:22:26,506 ♪ Wrap you up in a big red bow ♪ 1495 01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:29,509 All I got for Christmas was a candy cane. 1496 01:22:31,468 --> 01:22:32,860 Oh, my God. 1497 01:22:33,035 --> 01:22:35,080 You did the line! 1498 01:22:35,254 --> 01:22:37,691 You did the line, and you made it naughty. 1499 01:22:42,392 --> 01:22:43,349 You 1500 01:22:43,959 --> 01:22:45,047 are 1501 01:22:45,612 --> 01:22:46,918 magic. 1502 01:22:47,440 --> 01:22:48,572 You are 1503 01:22:49,007 --> 01:22:50,574 overdressed. 1504 01:22:51,488 --> 01:22:52,750 I couldn't agree more. 1505 01:22:55,535 --> 01:22:56,406 Oh, no! Going down! 1506 01:22:58,799 --> 01:23:00,062 You okay? 1507 01:23:00,497 --> 01:23:01,454 No. 1508 01:23:01,802 --> 01:23:03,021 I'm Ace. 1509 01:23:05,284 --> 01:23:10,289 ♪ Come on and fill my Christmas stocking ♪ 1510 01:23:10,463 --> 01:23:14,990 ♪ Turn on all my Christmas lights ♪ 1511 01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:18,384 I'm going to need to piggy back your ass to the bed, aren't I? 1512 01:23:18,558 --> 01:23:19,559 Absolutely. 1513 01:23:21,953 --> 01:23:22,780 Here we go! 1514 01:23:25,609 --> 01:23:32,703 ♪ Hallelu- uu- uuu - ujah! ♪ 1515 01:23:32,877 --> 01:23:35,532 ♪ Christmas came ♪ 1516 01:23:35,706 --> 01:23:37,403 ♪ twice ♪ 1517 01:23:37,577 --> 01:23:38,491 for real. 1518 01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:44,628 Merry Christmas, Eve. 1519 01:23:49,024 --> 01:23:49,807 Uh oh. 1520 01:23:52,636 --> 01:23:54,029 Found your little friend. 1521 01:23:55,421 --> 01:23:57,467 Her name is Maude. 1522 01:23:58,337 --> 01:24:00,122 And she could be your friend too. 1523 01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:02,385 Oooh. 1524 01:24:03,255 --> 01:24:04,039 Ooh! 1525 01:24:05,475 --> 01:24:07,868 Ooh! Oh, okay! 1526 01:24:09,914 --> 01:24:11,568 You big old dirty slut! 1527 01:24:12,699 --> 01:24:13,961 I knew it. 1528 01:24:15,659 --> 01:24:18,488 Merry Christmas? 1529 01:24:18,662 --> 01:24:21,099 You're buying me new sheets. Both of you. 1530 01:24:24,972 --> 01:24:25,712 Does this have other settings? 1531 01:24:26,974 --> 01:24:28,150 - Ohh! - Oh, my God! 1532 01:24:28,324 --> 01:24:28,889 Oh, it goes faster! Oh, hello. 1533 01:24:35,766 --> 01:24:37,289 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1534 01:24:44,731 --> 01:24:46,298 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1535 01:24:48,909 --> 01:24:50,389 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1536 01:24:52,826 --> 01:24:54,176 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1537 01:24:59,746 --> 01:25:01,444 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1538 01:25:15,806 --> 01:25:17,286 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1539 01:25:28,601 --> 01:25:30,473 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1540 01:25:31,648 --> 01:25:33,606 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1541 01:25:36,609 --> 01:25:38,524 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1542 01:25:40,744 --> 01:25:42,528 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1543 01:25:47,881 --> 01:25:49,796 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1544 01:25:56,629 --> 01:25:58,588 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1545 01:26:03,810 --> 01:26:05,769 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1546 01:26:12,863 --> 01:26:14,473 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1547 01:26:19,870 --> 01:26:21,872 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1548 01:26:23,787 --> 01:26:25,789 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪ 1549 01:26:27,660 --> 01:26:32,448 ♪ Christmas With Jerks ♪