1 00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:05,714 Family Guy Airport '07 2 00:00:34,069 --> 00:00:37,693 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Redneck Comedy Tour! 3 00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:38,621 Featuring... 4 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:43,867 You know you're a redneck if you come from a rural area and behave as such. 5 00:00:46,556 --> 00:00:48,630 Oh, that dog of mine! 6 00:00:59,283 --> 00:01:01,984 You tell me how that got in there! 7 00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:06,810 He's right. 8 00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:08,780 Who knows how that got in there? 9 00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:11,416 Peter, can we please go now? This is excruciating. 10 00:01:11,424 --> 00:01:12,493 Are you kidding, Brian? 11 00:01:12,498 --> 00:01:15,193 These men and their redneck lifestyle really speak to me. 12 00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:17,303 This is the greatest show I've seen in years. 13 00:01:17,325 --> 00:01:19,781 Not like the last time I was at a comedy club. 14 00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:22,373 I hear this guy's hilarious. He played Kramer, you know. 15 00:01:22,397 --> 00:01:24,823 Oh, this is gonna be fun! 16 00:01:35,265 --> 00:01:38,110 Peter... what the hell are you doing with a pickup truck? 17 00:01:38,227 --> 00:01:39,473 Wait. Let me guess. 18 00:01:39,486 --> 00:01:41,931 This is because of the Redneck Comedy Festival, isn't it? 19 00:01:41,967 --> 00:01:43,611 Oh, that dog of mine. 20 00:01:43,635 --> 00:01:47,060 Peter, you can't suddenly decide to be a redneck just because of some show. 21 00:01:47,098 --> 00:01:48,423 Some show? 22 00:01:48,447 --> 00:01:50,710 Lois, those men showed me the way to an identity 23 00:01:50,716 --> 00:01:52,493 I've been searching for my whole life. 24 00:01:52,508 --> 00:01:55,153 I am going to do everything a redneck is supposed to do. 25 00:01:55,338 --> 00:01:57,180 This is going to be more painful to watch 26 00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:59,652 than when he ate half a Fudgesicle in one bite. 27 00:01:59,778 --> 00:02:01,873 Oh, boy! A Fudgesicle! 28 00:02:12,096 --> 00:02:13,991 Chris, what happened to the couch? 29 00:02:14,015 --> 00:02:16,241 Dad dragged it out on the lawn, 'cause he said 30 00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:18,422 that's what rednecks do. 31 00:02:20,226 --> 00:02:22,192 Hey, Meg, come here. Have a seat. 32 00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:27,901 Dad, what are you doing? 33 00:02:27,937 --> 00:02:29,501 Meg, I'm a redneck, 34 00:02:29,526 --> 00:02:31,873 which means I am about to do something to you 35 00:02:31,877 --> 00:02:34,421 that you will not remember until you're 40. 36 00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:37,451 Meg, come back here! 37 00:02:37,475 --> 00:02:38,960 I meant sex! 38 00:02:42,017 --> 00:02:45,073 We now return to Carl Sagan's Cosmos, 39 00:02:45,096 --> 00:02:46,503 edited for rednecks. 40 00:02:46,538 --> 00:02:47,931 I'm Carl Sagan. 41 00:02:47,947 --> 00:02:49,891 Just how old is our planet? 42 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,801 Scientists believe it's four bil... 43 00:02:51,817 --> 00:02:54,341 ...hundreds and hundreds of years old. 44 00:02:54,357 --> 00:02:57,652 Scientists have determined that the universe was created by... 45 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,832 God...! 46 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,791 ...big bang. 47 00:03:01,818 --> 00:03:04,041 - If you look at the bones of a... - Jesus. 48 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:07,331 ...aurus Rex, it's clear, by the use of carbon-dating that... 49 00:03:07,357 --> 00:03:10,453 Mountain Dew is the best soda ever made. 50 00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:14,030 - Peter, do we have to watch this? - This is what rednecks watch, Brian. 51 00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:20,552 Peter, that's disgusting. Here. Spit in this cup instead. 52 00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:24,200 Oh, there's my apple juice. 53 00:03:24,477 --> 00:03:25,771 Stewie, wait. Don't... 54 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,782 Where's my money? 55 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:31,173 You going to give me my money? 56 00:03:31,425 --> 00:03:32,582 Never mind. 57 00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,393 Hey, Brian, check it out! 58 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:49,531 Peter, you painted over the back window. Isn't that dangerous? 59 00:03:49,548 --> 00:03:50,722 I'm a redneck, Brian. 60 00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:53,723 We like people driving behind us to know what our beliefs are. 61 00:03:59,997 --> 00:04:02,190 Peter, what the hell?! My car! 62 00:04:03,467 --> 00:04:05,361 Aw, damn it! Hey! Hey, come back! 63 00:04:11,845 --> 00:04:13,452 Oh, sorry, Quagmire. 64 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:15,201 How the hell am I supposed to get to the airport?! 65 00:04:15,226 --> 00:04:16,971 I got to fly a plane in 20 minutes. 66 00:04:16,977 --> 00:04:19,031 Oh, I can drive you. I got a pickup truck. See? 67 00:04:19,047 --> 00:04:19,982 Well, come on! 68 00:04:24,368 --> 00:04:27,052 - Quagmire, I am so sorry. - Don't worry about it. 69 00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:28,580 - We can go after them. - Don't worry about it. 70 00:04:28,597 --> 00:04:30,593 They're tagged! They're tagged! Just get me to the airport. 71 00:04:40,536 --> 00:04:42,061 All right. Thanks a lot, Peter. 72 00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:17,711 That's all the motivation I need to actually do this. 73 00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,522 Did we finish fueling? 74 00:05:27,547 --> 00:05:29,252 Do you see the hose in the plane? 75 00:05:29,255 --> 00:05:29,913 No. 76 00:05:29,937 --> 00:05:31,693 Well, then, I guess we're finished. 77 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,550 Thanks, George. You want to say that one more time without the sarcasm? 78 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:40,691 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain, Glenn Quagmire. 79 00:05:41,496 --> 00:05:44,902 We're looking at about a four-and-a-half-hour flight time today. 80 00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:48,091 We've got clear skies, good visibility. 81 00:05:48,135 --> 00:05:51,422 The temperature in Atlanta is 64 degrees. 82 00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:55,751 The flight's going to be a little longer than we've expected. 83 00:05:55,776 --> 00:05:58,391 We've got some very strong headwinds... giggety. 84 00:05:58,407 --> 00:06:00,593 Uh, flight attendants, please prepare for takeoff. 85 00:06:06,447 --> 00:06:07,573 What the hell?! 86 00:06:09,565 --> 00:06:11,141 Oh, my God! We're going down! 87 00:06:16,257 --> 00:06:19,143 Secure your own mask first, and then assist the child! 88 00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:21,741 - But the bag's not inflating! - It's all right! 89 00:06:21,768 --> 00:06:24,783 Even though oxygen is flowing, the bag may not inflate! 90 00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:39,723 That was too close. 91 00:06:40,816 --> 00:06:44,373 Sir, we have a confirmed crash. Flight 37 is down. 92 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:47,760 We'd better alert the mayor. I'll have to interrupt his photo op. 93 00:06:49,657 --> 00:06:52,911 My Pet Goat. Page one. 94 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:58,032 "You know, said my pet goat, I'm sure, if I watched Grey's Anatomy, I'd like it," 95 00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:00,743 "but I just don't have the time." 96 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,240 "You should make the time, said the farmer." 97 00:07:20,445 --> 00:07:23,713 Our top story : There was drama in the skies of Quahog today, 98 00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:27,472 as a Trans National 767 was forced to make a crash-landing. 99 00:07:27,486 --> 00:07:30,521 That's right, Diane. As if the world weren't already scary enough, 100 00:07:30,546 --> 00:07:33,933 it seems you can't even get on a plane safely these days. 101 00:07:33,956 --> 00:07:36,103 Channel 5 has the spectacular footage. 102 00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:42,850 Fortunately, no one was injured. 103 00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:46,123 However, using state-of-the-art Channel 5 computer technology, 104 00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:48,710 we'll show you how disastrous it could have been. 105 00:07:48,738 --> 00:07:51,713 Here's how it would have looked if the plane had crashed into a school. 106 00:07:58,518 --> 00:08:00,672 Now here's how it would've looked if the plane had crashed 107 00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:02,180 into a school for bunnies. 108 00:08:08,968 --> 00:08:11,000 Now here's how it would've looked if the plane had crashed 109 00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:13,790 into a school for bunnies but one passenger had survived, 110 00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:16,133 gone home, and mercilessly beat his wife. 111 00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:24,400 I'm alive! 112 00:08:24,466 --> 00:08:26,153 But boy, am I angry! 113 00:08:26,175 --> 00:08:28,063 Someone's gonna have to pay for this! 114 00:08:29,648 --> 00:08:31,753 Why! Why! 115 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,870 Is this because I overcooked the roast?! 116 00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:36,940 Powerful stuff. 117 00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,772 You'd have to be made of stone not to feel saddened by that. 118 00:08:39,927 --> 00:08:42,493 Boy, Quagmire, I'm really sorry they fired you. 119 00:08:42,525 --> 00:08:44,733 I feel like this is partially my fault. 120 00:08:44,746 --> 00:08:48,093 No, Peter, it's perfectly normal to siphon jet fuel from an active runway 121 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,813 with the intention of flying a pickup truck. 122 00:08:49,838 --> 00:08:53,000 Look, I know I caused a lot of trouble, but my redneck days are over. 123 00:08:53,036 --> 00:08:55,731 No more crotch shots of me getting out of a car. 124 00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,522 Well, what are you gonna do now, Quagmire? 125 00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:01,631 Hey, it-it's all right. 126 00:09:01,648 --> 00:09:04,142 I got enough in my savings until I find another job. 127 00:09:04,158 --> 00:09:05,101 I'll be fine. 128 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,941 Mom! Dad! There's somebody in my tree house! 129 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:18,900 Yeah, and there's an annoying little homo screaming in my kitchen. 130 00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:20,832 Which one do you think I'm more pissed about? 131 00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:23,592 I'll remind you that I was invited here! 132 00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:25,721 All right, who's up there? 133 00:09:25,905 --> 00:09:29,430 - Oh, hey, Peter. Hey, Lois. - Glenn, what are you doing up there? 134 00:09:29,465 --> 00:09:31,833 Oh, I kind of moved in, if that's okay. 135 00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:34,052 No airline'll hire me after the accident. 136 00:09:34,088 --> 00:09:35,862 I'm broke and jobless. 137 00:09:35,907 --> 00:09:38,993 Quagmire, you belong in a tree. You're a nut. 138 00:09:43,696 --> 00:09:44,803 What?! 139 00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:51,521 Come on down, Quagmire. You're staying with us. 140 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:55,300 Oh, great. This is gonna be worse than the time I lived with Marlee Matlin. 141 00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:57,860 Hi, Stewie. 142 00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:00,616 Oh, come on, Marlee, I know you can't hear them, 143 00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:03,223 but you got to feel those things slapping out of there! 144 00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:11,213 Listen, I really want to thank you guys for taking me in in my time of need. 145 00:10:11,249 --> 00:10:14,270 Aw, forget it, Quagmire. It's the least we could do after what happened. 146 00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:18,032 Hello? 147 00:10:18,808 --> 00:10:20,590 Oh, you must have a wrong number. 148 00:10:20,616 --> 00:10:23,861 There's no one here by the name of Longrod Von Hugendong. 149 00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:31,562 - Okay, now add 20. - Okay. 150 00:10:31,717 --> 00:10:33,891 - Now multiply it by four. - Okay. 151 00:10:34,227 --> 00:10:36,401 - And what do you got? - 8,008. 152 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:39,381 And what does 8,008 look like on a calculator? 153 00:10:40,937 --> 00:10:42,472 Oh, "boob"! 154 00:10:42,527 --> 00:10:45,101 Boob! Yeah! All right! All right! All right! 155 00:10:45,115 --> 00:10:45,841 Boob! 156 00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:49,493 What if we had two calculators and we put them next to each other? 157 00:10:50,336 --> 00:10:52,263 Yes, yes, yes. 158 00:10:52,287 --> 00:10:53,871 Find one, yes! 159 00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,361 Didn't mean to wake ya. 160 00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:18,452 Peter, you and I need to talk about Quagmire. 161 00:11:18,465 --> 00:11:22,233 He's been living with us for over a month, and I think it's enough now. 162 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:25,103 Lois, I'm the whole reason he lost his job and his house. 163 00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,563 Besides, I can't throw my best friend out on the street 164 00:11:27,568 --> 00:11:29,592 like a prom night Dumpster baby. 165 00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:34,851 Hey, what are you doing out here? Don't you want to dance? 166 00:11:34,876 --> 00:11:35,792 Sure! 167 00:11:39,228 --> 00:11:44,243 I'm just a prom night Dumpster baby 168 00:11:44,646 --> 00:11:47,570 I got no mom or dad 169 00:11:48,565 --> 00:11:52,321 Prom night Dumpster baby 170 00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:56,430 My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad 171 00:11:57,245 --> 00:12:02,092 - And though I came from a hole - And though he came from a hole 172 00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:06,670 - I'm singing right from the soul - He's singing right from the soul 173 00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:10,511 My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it 174 00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:14,033 - I miss my mom - But she's at the prom 175 00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:18,132 So I'm a prom night Dumpster baby 176 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,913 Prom night Dumpster baby 177 00:12:23,186 --> 00:12:27,230 - And I'm takin' a stroll - He's takin' a stroll 178 00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:31,181 - I'm takin' a stroll - He's takin' a stroll 179 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:35,212 - I'm takin' a stroll - He's takin' a stroll 180 00:12:35,578 --> 00:12:39,232 - I'm takin' a stroll - He's takin' a stroll 181 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,702 I'm takin' a stroll. 182 00:12:45,388 --> 00:12:47,732 Besides, Quagmire doesn't even have a job. 183 00:12:47,747 --> 00:12:49,462 Well, you're gonna have to help him find one, 184 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,611 because I've had enough of him living in this house. 185 00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:53,371 You're overreacting, Lois. 186 00:12:53,385 --> 00:12:56,010 And you can't spell "overreacting" without "ovary." 187 00:12:56,155 --> 00:12:59,021 - 'Cause you're a girl. - I'm not overreacting! 188 00:12:59,048 --> 00:13:00,541 Hey, uh, just an FYI, 189 00:13:00,576 --> 00:13:03,163 really no reason to go into any greater detail than this. 190 00:13:03,186 --> 00:13:06,773 Uh, Stewie should probably never use this pacifier again. 191 00:13:08,417 --> 00:13:10,343 Okay, so I'll talk to him tomorrow? 192 00:13:21,998 --> 00:13:25,401 - So how's the job hunt going? - It's awful, Cleveland. 193 00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:28,231 - Quagmire blew every gig we got him. - It's too bad. 194 00:13:28,246 --> 00:13:30,901 I really liked that job working on the Starship Enterprise. 195 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,181 Dude, 196 00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:36,312 you got to introduce me to that black chick. 197 00:13:36,547 --> 00:13:39,370 Guys, the only thing I know how to do is fly a plane. 198 00:13:39,388 --> 00:13:41,053 That's what I was born for. 199 00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:43,742 And I'll never be happy unless I can do it again. 200 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:45,583 Then that's the only answer. 201 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:48,452 Somehow we've got to get Quagmire his job back. 202 00:13:48,485 --> 00:13:51,270 Fellas, I think I have an idea. 203 00:13:54,618 --> 00:13:57,383 Okay, guys, let's go over the plan one more time. 204 00:13:57,616 --> 00:14:01,852 Quagmire will pose as an airline passenger on the 6:00 flight to New York. 205 00:14:01,945 --> 00:14:04,990 Then Joe and I will sneak into the flight attendants' lounge 206 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:07,790 while Cleveland distracts the security personnel. 207 00:14:08,786 --> 00:14:10,982 Once we have the uniforms and credentials, 208 00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:14,892 Cleveland, Joe and I will board the plane posing as flight attendants. 209 00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:17,932 Once we're in the air, we drug the pilots. 210 00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:22,051 At which point, Quagmire is forced to step in and land the plane safely, 211 00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:23,503 making him a hero. 212 00:14:24,706 --> 00:14:25,821 Everybody clear? 213 00:14:25,886 --> 00:14:29,252 Boy, this sounds like more trouble than a moose on the interstate. 214 00:14:33,646 --> 00:14:34,793 Hey, can you help me out? 215 00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:37,243 I'm trying to get a couple of bucks for something to eat. 216 00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:40,202 - What's "moose stuff"? - Whatever you want it to be. 217 00:14:40,236 --> 00:14:41,590 I could have sex with you 218 00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:43,912 or I could just stand over there and drink from the lake. 219 00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:45,503 And everything in between. 220 00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:47,100 Get in. 221 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:10,991 All right, I'm gonna go bring the pilots their coffee. 222 00:15:11,016 --> 00:15:13,533 Hang on to something, 'cause this ride's about to get rougher 223 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,992 than dating a hot girl with a bad laugh. 224 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:20,283 - I really like you, Sandy. - I really like you, too, Peter. 225 00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:23,430 Yeah? You like it when I kiss you here? 226 00:15:23,787 --> 00:15:26,093 - Yeah. - How about here? 227 00:15:30,085 --> 00:15:31,740 Oh, stop, I'm tick... 228 00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:37,900 Ma'am, I hate to be a nuisance, 229 00:15:37,926 --> 00:15:41,020 but your son stopped kicking the back of my chair. 230 00:15:43,548 --> 00:15:44,731 Thank you. 231 00:15:50,945 --> 00:15:52,102 Oh, no! 232 00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:55,262 Both the pilots are unconscious, and we're in a nosedive. 233 00:15:55,308 --> 00:15:58,480 If only there was someone on board who could save us. 234 00:16:00,346 --> 00:16:04,670 I said if only there was someone on board who could save us. 235 00:16:05,128 --> 00:16:08,042 Uh, Peter, I don't see Quagmire. 236 00:16:08,598 --> 00:16:10,800 - Oh, that was great. - Thanks. 237 00:16:10,838 --> 00:16:14,683 I know you have a choice in airport sex, and I appreciate your choosing Quagmire. 238 00:16:14,717 --> 00:16:16,772 Please exercise caution when standing up, 239 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:19,553 as the contents of your panties may have shifted during coitus. 240 00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:22,670 All right, I got a plane to catch. Say, which gate is flight 209? 241 00:16:22,687 --> 00:16:25,212 209? That flight left half an hour ago. 242 00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:26,890 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 243 00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:30,282 That plane's going down! My friends are on that plane! They're all gonna die! 244 00:16:30,297 --> 00:16:33,101 - What?! Oh, no! - And that's not the worst part. 245 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,162 Here's the condom I said I put on. 246 00:16:36,065 --> 00:16:38,032 Aren't I just the worst? 247 00:16:38,175 --> 00:16:40,783 - Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. - And I'm Diane Simmons. 248 00:16:40,818 --> 00:16:43,012 More trouble in the skies over Quahog tonight, 249 00:16:43,026 --> 00:16:46,161 as a Trans National jet is apparently out of control. 250 00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:50,173 Channel 5 has this exclusive recording of a mayday communication from the cockpit. 251 00:17:23,047 --> 00:17:25,421 Hey, there, son. Mind if I have a seat? 252 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,903 Hugh Hefner?! 253 00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:28,983 You look like you got something on your mind. 254 00:17:28,995 --> 00:17:32,191 Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I don't deserve to be a pilot. 255 00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:35,253 - I've let everybody down. - Did you do the best you could? 256 00:17:35,317 --> 00:17:38,461 No. I was gonna, but I ended up getting laid instead. 257 00:17:38,865 --> 00:17:41,622 That reminds me of a guy you might've heard of. 258 00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:43,152 John Holmes. 259 00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:45,451 Greatest porn star who ever lived. 260 00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:47,273 You know what he once said? 261 00:17:47,346 --> 00:17:50,563 He said : "You know, I've got a 13-inch member..." 262 00:17:50,616 --> 00:17:54,732 "and Glenn Quagmire is the best damn pilot I've ever seen." 263 00:17:54,768 --> 00:17:57,820 - John Holmes said that? - You bet he did... 264 00:17:57,846 --> 00:18:01,152 right before he died a very painful, AIDS-related death 265 00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:04,072 from having unprotected sex with so many people. 266 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,892 Excuse me, Hef. 267 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:09,421 I got a plane to land. 268 00:18:20,586 --> 00:18:24,363 - We're all gonna die! - I can't believe this is happening! 269 00:18:27,818 --> 00:18:30,491 - Help us! - Help! 270 00:18:30,536 --> 00:18:33,303 Men, we're doing everything in our power to get you down. 271 00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:36,292 Stand aside, sir. I'll take it from here. 272 00:18:36,377 --> 00:18:37,860 Peter, this is Quagmire. 273 00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:41,053 Now I want you to listen very carefully and do exactly as I tell you. 274 00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:45,533 Take a firm hold of the throttle, and pull the red mixture knob out slowly. 275 00:18:45,548 --> 00:18:46,381 Okay. 276 00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:48,990 All right, now do you see a button that looks like a drunken gay guy 277 00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,722 eyeing you from across the bar? 278 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,282 Yeah, I see it. 279 00:18:54,317 --> 00:18:56,230 All right, press the button right above it. 280 00:18:56,246 --> 00:18:58,772 Some new developments in the flight 209 drama. 281 00:18:58,797 --> 00:19:01,673 Recently discharged pilot Captain Glenn Quagmire 282 00:19:01,678 --> 00:19:03,621 is apparently talking the plane down. 283 00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:05,482 Ollie Williams has the story. Ollie? 284 00:19:05,498 --> 00:19:08,032 - I'm at the wrong airport. - Oops. Well, thanks, Ollie. 285 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:11,362 Coming up : Why calling every Asian man you meet "Chung King" 286 00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:14,092 can land an anchorman in hot water. After this. 287 00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:21,522 All right, Peter, slide the red knob all the way out. 288 00:19:21,546 --> 00:19:25,230 And the second those wheels touch the ground, you hit the emergency brake. 289 00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:44,200 - We made it! - Hallelujah! 290 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,321 Get some! 291 00:19:45,368 --> 00:19:49,091 Well, guess there's nothing left to do but watch the end of Last Holiday. 292 00:19:55,548 --> 00:19:56,682 Damn! 293 00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:00,312 Oh, no, she di-in't. 294 00:20:00,348 --> 00:20:03,513 - Oh, yes, she did. - No, she di-in't. 295 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:05,993 - Yes, she did. - No, she di-in't. 296 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,450 - Yes, she did, Peter! I just saw it! - All right, take it easy. 297 00:20:12,498 --> 00:20:15,053 Ah, Glenn, we are so thrilled for you. 298 00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:17,470 Yeah, guess it didn't take too much for you to get your job back, 299 00:20:17,485 --> 00:20:19,922 - now that you're a hero. - Yeah, and I'm so happy for you, 300 00:20:19,938 --> 00:20:22,142 I don't even mind that I was raped in a federal prison 301 00:20:22,156 --> 00:20:23,940 after I was arrested for hijacking. 302 00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:25,990 Well, I couldn't have done it without you, guys. 303 00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:29,242 You put yourselves on the line and you gave me my life back. 304 00:20:29,277 --> 00:20:30,863 I'll never forget that. 305 00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:33,633 Now, if you'll excuse me. I got to go to work.