1 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:19,800 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:19,879 --> 00:00:23,879 'Tonight, on 8 Out Of 10 Cats End Of Year Special, 3 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,879 'the Wizard of Oz - it's Richard Osman, 4 00:00:27,879 --> 00:00:31,320 'having a peep, it's Isy Suttie, 5 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,200 'and their team captain, Jon Richardson. 6 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,200 'And facing them tonight, the smile high club - it's Joey Essex, 7 00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:44,320 'he's hired - it's Romesh Ranganathan, 8 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,520 'and their team captain, Sean Lock. 9 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,159 'Now, welcome your host, 10 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,880 'Jimmy Carr!' 11 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,880 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 12 00:00:57,039 --> 00:01:01,039 Hello and welcome to the 8 Out Of 10 Cats End Of Year Special, 13 00:01:01,039 --> 00:01:04,200 a show all about opinion polls, surveys and 2015. 14 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,599 Did you know, for example, research has found people in London 15 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:11,319 spend an average of £150 on a New Year's Eve night out. 16 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,159 That's 50 quid on getting smashed in Wetherspoons 17 00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:18,159 and then £100 cleaning charge for vomiting in that taxi. 18 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:22,960 Last year, 8% of people who got dumped took revenge on their ex. 19 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,599 I got revenge on my ex by putting some embarrassing nude 20 00:01:26,599 --> 00:01:28,120 photos on the internet. 21 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,960 There was one of me in the bath, one of me sunbathing naked, 22 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,799 and one of me on all fours in front of the fire. 23 00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:36,479 That'll show her! 24 00:01:36,479 --> 00:01:40,359 And a poll this year found women prefer men who don't dye their hair. 25 00:01:40,359 --> 00:01:42,000 Of course, I don't dye my hair - 26 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,960 my hair's always naturally been E247 Midnight Cappuccino. 27 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,640 Right, let's get started. 28 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,640 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 29 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,039 What Are You Talking About? That's the name of our first round. 30 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,280 We're looking back at all things 2015, 31 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,200 so tonight, it's our panellists' job to guess the British public's 32 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,319 top five most talked about people of the year. 33 00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:10,800 Sean's team, who do you think people have been talking about this year? 34 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,879 Erm... The woman who won the Bake Off. 35 00:02:13,879 --> 00:02:16,400 - Nadiya. - Nadiya, yeah. She won... - Nadiya Bake Off. 36 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,479 She won the Bake Off. 37 00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:19,920 I believe it was the highest rated thing - 38 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,879 - 14 million people watched Bake Off. - Yeah. - Did you watch it? - No. 39 00:02:22,879 --> 00:02:26,879 What I did instead was I watched my oven. 40 00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:30,520 And I found I had a similar experience. 41 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,920 But no, I didn't watch it. I didn't watch a minute of it. 42 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,879 - I didn't watch it either. - You didn't watch it? - Nope. It's pointless. 43 00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:38,240 I can't cook. 44 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,840 You don't have to be able to cook to watch it. You can just enjoy it. 45 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,280 - You can just watch it... - I wouldn't know what it's about. 46 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,879 Because it's called Bake Off, I'd suspect it's for cooking. 47 00:02:46,879 --> 00:02:50,079 - It is cookery. - It's baking, yeah. But you don't have to... 48 00:02:50,079 --> 00:02:52,599 It's like when you watch the Olympics, you don't 49 00:02:52,599 --> 00:02:54,759 have to train for the athletics. 50 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:58,159 There's another show coming out next year involved around making 51 00:02:58,159 --> 00:03:00,639 a cup of tea. 52 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,680 People just sit round, for 13 weeks, 53 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,039 making tea to ever-higher increasing standards. 54 00:03:06,039 --> 00:03:09,520 The judges would be... Dot Cotton. She'd be the judge. 55 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,240 - You say that... - That's a very refreshing cuppa. 56 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,680 There's a sewing show, so, I mean, they're getting there. 57 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,000 There's a sewing show, there's a pottery show. 58 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,759 It's like we're all regressing. 59 00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:20,560 They think the apocalypse is coming 60 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,400 or whatever and we're going to have to learn how to make our own shit. 61 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,759 The pottery one, I don't know why they've got a time limit on that. 62 00:03:26,759 --> 00:03:29,159 Who is making a pot to a deadline? 63 00:03:29,159 --> 00:03:33,159 At the end of that pottery show, why did they not say - you're fired? 64 00:03:33,159 --> 00:03:35,479 Rich, do you watch Bake Off? Are you a big fan? 65 00:03:35,479 --> 00:03:37,920 Yeah, I'm going to stick up... I absolutely love Bake Off. 66 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,120 I can't think of anyone who doesn't love Bake Off. 67 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,360 - Joey... - I just don't get it. - He's right there. - If Joey saw it... 68 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,879 Just cos you haven't seen it. If you saw it, you'd love it. 69 00:03:46,879 --> 00:03:50,439 I like The Jump, the Jungle... Things... I like cool things. 70 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:53,920 Hold on a minute, you don't watch the Bake Off cos you can't cook 71 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,120 but you'll happily watch The Jump?! 72 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,120 - What secret skills...? - Well, I won the Jungle, didn't I? - You did. 73 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,599 That is egg on my face. 74 00:04:04,599 --> 00:04:06,479 Isy, do you bake at all? 75 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,319 I'm very creative with baking, 76 00:04:08,319 --> 00:04:12,319 so I don't even need to watch Bake Off cos I'm, like, ahead of them. 77 00:04:12,479 --> 00:04:15,240 Once, for my ex for Christmas, I made his face 78 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,560 out of the ingredients of a roast. 79 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,399 Sorry... 80 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:23,160 The "ex" really is the clue there, isn't it, to how well that went? 81 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,160 - I made like mashed potato as the face and... - Was he a snowman? 82 00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:31,319 - He was just very pale. - Did he have a carrot for a nose? 83 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,840 No, he was ill, you see? He had a cold, so he was very pale 84 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,360 and I even did mustard coming out of his nose for snot. 85 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,279 It was incredibly detailed. 86 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,639 OK, I tell you what, time for a bonus round. 87 00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:44,639 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Bake Off. Sean and Jon, you've created some cakes. 88 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,079 Go and stand by your cakes. 89 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,319 APPLAUSE 90 00:04:49,319 --> 00:04:53,319 Oh, yes. 91 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,920 OK, so, Sean, do you want to talk me through your creation? 92 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,399 What have you cooked for us? 93 00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:02,879 Well, erm... So first thing... 94 00:05:02,879 --> 00:05:06,399 - It's a festive scene. It's a... - LAUGHTER 95 00:05:06,399 --> 00:05:09,279 It's a petrol station on a snowy Christmas morning. 96 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:12,399 - It's beautiful. - You can see all the icicles hanging down there. 97 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,040 And you can see there's a fella here. 98 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:19,040 He's booting in the door cos it's 9:30 on Christmas morning 99 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,160 and he's run out of fags. 100 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,360 He's got a long day ahead. 101 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,720 Here's a lorry... 102 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,319 It was returning to Eastern Europe but missed the ferry. 103 00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:33,439 The driver's inside. You can't really see what he's doing, 104 00:05:33,439 --> 00:05:37,439 but I don't think it's very Christmassy. 105 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,159 And round the back, here... 106 00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:43,319 Oh, it's the driver. 107 00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:46,360 And he's very... 108 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,720 He's down there by the grit bins 109 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,240 and he's very considerately doing it round the back. 110 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,959 - Can I taste a bit of cake? - Please do. - If you turn it... 111 00:05:54,959 --> 00:05:58,639 Hang on, turn it round again, I'm going to taste a bit of truck. 112 00:05:58,639 --> 00:06:02,240 - You've been warned, have you? - It's mainly... 113 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,519 I thought a load of refugees would come out. 114 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:09,519 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 115 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,680 Hm. That's um... That's terrible! 116 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,480 Really horrible. Jon, your cake? 117 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,480 Well, I've always wanted to try hash cakes. 118 00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:27,759 - You know, with the doob inside them. - With the what now? 119 00:06:27,759 --> 00:06:30,279 They put doob inside cakes... 120 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:33,439 Makes you go all... Mashed up. 121 00:06:33,439 --> 00:06:37,439 - Don't do drugs. You'll lose all your friends. - Um... - Look. 122 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:44,079 I've never done drugs and I don't think now is the time. 123 00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:47,399 - Really. - Did you just eat the cake? - What else am I supposed to do? 124 00:06:47,399 --> 00:06:49,199 Just stand here? 125 00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:52,720 - I don't like standing. I like sitting down. - No, shotgun a cake. 126 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,720 - In one. - I'm just going to eat the top. 127 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,160 That's a disgusting waste. OK, Jon. Show us your cake. 128 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,600 This is like a prescription version of hash cakes. 129 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,439 So this is a Lemsip drizzle cake. 130 00:07:07,439 --> 00:07:10,240 I love it! 131 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,839 You can get a high, but it's all natural and legal. So this is... 132 00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:16,959 The jam inside is made from the inside of Lockets... 133 00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:20,000 So you crack the Lockets open and make the jam 134 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,120 and there's a Lemsip topping. 135 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:26,120 And here is... I made this Imodium icing. 136 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,600 - I might need that after Sean's cake. - Yeah. It won't come out. 137 00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:34,959 - Um... - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 138 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:42,759 It's decorated with Strepsils and multivitamins, 139 00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:45,240 which will help with a January cold. 140 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,720 - That is genuinely delicious. - Good. 141 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,159 Points to Jon. 142 00:07:49,159 --> 00:07:50,879 He's the winner. 143 00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:53,319 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 144 00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:57,319 APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH 145 00:07:58,399 --> 00:08:00,639 Good that. Fun. 146 00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:03,160 Can we save me a slice of Jon's cake? 147 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,920 It's got so much sugar in it, I feel slightly giddy and high. 148 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,959 They've actually got a limited edition Lemsip now. 149 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:13,920 - A limited edition Lemsip? - Yeah, and it's more money. It's like £2 extra. 150 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,360 It's honey and lemon and it's like gold. 151 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,519 The actual case. The case it comes in is gold. I've got it at home. 152 00:08:19,519 --> 00:08:22,560 Do they sell different things in Essex cos people are idiots? 153 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,160 - They must do. They must do, yeah. - It's gold. 154 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,120 - It's gold. - It's golden! Gold, I tell you! Gold! 155 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,840 OK, I can tell you, Nadiya's not up there. 156 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,200 The Bake Off final drew 14 million viewers, 157 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,840 which begs the question - how are they going to top that? 158 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,360 I'm guessing with a mouldable fondant on buttercream. 159 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,639 Jon's team, 160 00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:45,840 who do you think the nation have been talking about this year? 161 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,039 The Queen is always popular, isn't she? 162 00:08:48,039 --> 00:08:50,519 The longest reigning monarch as well this year. 163 00:08:50,519 --> 00:08:52,080 - Yeah. - Huge year for the Queen. 164 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:56,080 She's been on the throne for 63 years, seven months and counting. 165 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,320 When does it get weird? 166 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,320 Like, when do they go... The Queen's 164 now. 167 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,480 There's something weird going on. 168 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,679 And why do we have to thank her when we paid for it? 169 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:12,679 Not all of us. 170 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,240 We thank her cos they're 171 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,960 kind of like our version of the Kardashians, aren't they? 172 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,960 But slightly classier. 173 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,080 The Queen's arse has never broken the internet. 174 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,879 Prince Philip is like Kanye. 175 00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:27,279 I just think I'd rather have Quilip than Kimye. 176 00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:29,320 I think it's a shame they didn't have... 177 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,840 They had one of those parties when she had her Jubilee. 178 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,919 They didn't this year. And I liked that one cos you played at it, 179 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:37,039 Rolf Harris played at it, and if you told me 180 00:09:37,039 --> 00:09:40,039 two years later that one of you was going to be in prison 181 00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:43,480 and it wasn't going to be you, I would have been very surprised. 182 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,840 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Hell of a night out. 183 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,279 When she does... How can I word this sensitively? 184 00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:52,879 When she stops being the Queen... 185 00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:56,440 When she goes to live on the big queen farm. 186 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,840 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. 187 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,720 Do we have to change all the money? 188 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,159 Do you have to send your money back or do you think they're already... 189 00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:07,720 Do you remember those indyglo T-shirts where when it got hot... 190 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,759 Do you reckon if you rub a tenner, it just turns to Charles? 191 00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:13,480 Cos otherwise, you'd have to mail all your money back in, 192 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,159 - wouldn't you, and get his face on it? - Mail all your money in? 193 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:20,399 You sound phenomenally gullible right now. 194 00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:23,639 But she's never going to abdicate, the Queen, is she? 195 00:10:23,639 --> 00:10:26,360 Cos she doesn't really think she's old, does she? 196 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,480 She's got no concept of being old. 197 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,840 For most people, signs of ageing are someone brushes your teeth or 198 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,840 wipes your arse and people have been doing that for her since the 1950s. 199 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,639 She's got no idea 200 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:42,039 that she's old. She just thinks that she's perfectly normal. 201 00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:45,039 I like the idea that at their family Christmas, 202 00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,960 when they pull the crackers, and Charles gets his hat out 203 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,840 and goes to put it in and she goes, ah-ah-ah... 204 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,840 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 205 00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:58,960 Being in the spotlight for decades can take its toll 206 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,960 on your patience. Take a look at this. 207 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,600 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 208 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,240 It's the fact he still sounds so posh. 209 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,919 I used to work at a lot of call centres 210 00:11:21,919 --> 00:11:25,159 and this guy rang up once, he was so annoyed with the company, 211 00:11:25,159 --> 00:11:28,200 he was like, "I hope your whole building burns to the ground! 212 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,039 "Good day!" 213 00:11:31,039 --> 00:11:33,879 Romesh, have you met anyone from the royal family? 214 00:11:33,879 --> 00:11:37,879 - I met Prince Harry recently, actually. - And did you guys get on? 215 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,320 Well, I sort of made a joke... 216 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,120 Cos I was doing a gig, 217 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,480 I made a joke about the fact my wife has got a crush on him. 218 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,360 She thinks he's quite hot. 219 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,360 She's not fussy about looks, is she, your missus? 220 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,080 To be fair, mate, she's not a massive catch, herself. So... 221 00:11:57,799 --> 00:12:01,799 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 222 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,159 That is not true. 223 00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:06,919 Anyway, I'd made this comment about the fact that my wife had a crush 224 00:12:06,919 --> 00:12:09,200 on him and then he came up to me afterwards, 225 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,679 he was doing like a meet and greet afterwards, and he said, 226 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,360 "Really nice to meet you, Romesh, but after what you said, 227 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,399 "I'd quite like to meet your wife." 228 00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:20,399 - Did he? Yeah? - Yeah. He wants to smash the shit out of it. 229 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:25,399 OK, time now for a game of Through The Queen's Keyhole. 230 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:28,200 I imagine, one of Prince Philip's favourite games. 231 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,480 Here's the Queen in her sitting room with 232 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,000 the Prime Minister of New Zealand. Fingers on buzzers. 233 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,919 Can you tell me what items we have blurred out of that photo? 234 00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:39,240 - BUZZER - That's not the Prime Minister of New Zealand. 235 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,159 That's Dick Advocaat, the former Sunderland manager. 236 00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:46,720 What do you think we've blurred out of the photo? 237 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,720 Is it a tin of dog food with like a fork sticking out of it? 238 00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:55,360 - She is an old lady. - It's for the dogs? 239 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,360 Oh, yeah. That would have made more sense. 240 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,519 Her dogs... 241 00:13:04,519 --> 00:13:07,360 I thought - she's probably spent all the money on heating. 242 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,679 This will have to do. 243 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,600 - Is it a weapon? - Is it a weapon?! 244 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,080 You would just think she'd have some sort of military 245 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,919 weapons near her at all times. 246 00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:20,120 Cos there's no guards in the room, is there? So... 247 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,240 - She needs to tool up. - Yeah. 248 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,759 LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH 249 00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:28,200 You can take the boy out of Essex, but... 250 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,960 It'll be like the Sky TV remote and a can of Stella. 251 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,720 - That is the right answer. It's the Sky TV remote. - Really? 252 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,600 And it was a leather-bound copy of the Radio Times. 253 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,200 - She is a proper Nana. - Wow. - Wow. 254 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,240 Let's have another look Through The Queen's Keyhole. 255 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,440 See what we can find. Have a look at this. 256 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,000 What is Prince Charles holding there? 257 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,080 Is he wearing his Boob Inspector T-shirt? 258 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,120 He'll have just been on like a Labrador hunt 259 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,600 and he'll have shot a Labrador. 260 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,360 He's coming back with his haul. 261 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,519 Ha! Got one! Bastards! 262 00:14:00,519 --> 00:14:04,360 - Is it a dead Labrador, Jimmy? - Not a million miles away. 263 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,879 He's got a massive squirrel. 264 00:14:07,879 --> 00:14:09,240 Oh, he has. 265 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,000 It was given to him by the Scottish Wildlife Trust, 266 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,919 a massive toy squirrel. 267 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,919 Makes you think, where does Prince Charles bury his nuts? 268 00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:19,679 Let's have another look Through The Queen's Keyhole. 269 00:14:19,679 --> 00:14:23,120 So, what is Prince Philip looking at there? 270 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:27,120 His eyes are so bad, that's actually what he sees. 271 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,159 Is it Dummy's Guide To Race Relations? 272 00:14:35,159 --> 00:14:39,159 Is it a Nando's... Is it the Nando's like grouse menu? 273 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,559 Pheasants... A pheasant burger... 274 00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:47,200 It's not that, is it, Jimmy? 275 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,159 - I can tell by the way you're looking at me. - It is not. It's... 276 00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:53,279 Let's have a look. He is in fact looking at a picture of the Queen. 277 00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:56,320 - Aw! - That is his copy of Reader's Wives. 278 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,320 - The Queen irons money... - She irons money? - She irons notes. 279 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,759 So she irons her own face. 280 00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:07,240 I don't know whether the Queen carries readies. 281 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,879 - I don't think she ever goes... - I read... - How much is it? 282 00:15:10,879 --> 00:15:14,080 There you go. If you need proof... That's on it. 283 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,120 I'd love it if there was a scene where Prince Philip was 284 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,840 just in a thong, dancing, she's just making it rain. 285 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,960 Yes, Philip! Yes! 286 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,440 APPLAUSE 287 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,480 OK, let's see if the Queen is up there. 288 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,480 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 289 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,759 Yes, it's the Queen becoming the UK's longest serving monarch. 290 00:15:33,759 --> 00:15:36,559 A lot of people think the succession should skip a generation, 291 00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:37,960 bypass Prince Charles, 292 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,919 and make Prince William the next receding hair to the throne. 293 00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:45,360 Sean's team, who were the other most talked about people this year? 294 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,080 Jeremy Corbyn, the new leader of the Labour Party? 295 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,840 What do you make of him? 296 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,600 He doesn't look like a world leader. To start off. Does he? 297 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,960 He looks like he works in a camera shop. 298 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,120 As soon as he became leader, 299 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,600 the main sort of story was the fact that he didn't sing 300 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,960 the national anthem at St Paul's 301 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,559 when there was a memorial service for the Battle of Britain. 302 00:16:07,559 --> 00:16:10,039 - Yeah. - There was quite a lot of fuss about that. 303 00:16:10,039 --> 00:16:13,639 It's almost, I think, a little bit too much fuss about it. 304 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,519 I can understand if he'd gone into St Paul's with a fez on, 305 00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:19,960 doing that... You know? 306 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,000 The Labour leader showing a marked lack of respect for the... 307 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,639 Maybe he just hasn't got a great singing voice. 308 00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:27,360 Maybe it's very high pitched. 309 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,399 - What do you think of him, Rich? - Well, I feel a bit sorry for him. 310 00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:33,480 I think he didn't really want to be leader, so I think it's difficult. 311 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,240 He reminds me a little bit of Olly Murs on X Factor this series. 312 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,480 I sort of know why he's there, he doesn't really want to be, 313 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,399 he's not quite up to it. I feel a little bit sorry for him. 314 00:16:42,399 --> 00:16:45,399 I think he's a principled man and I think he stands up for what 315 00:16:45,399 --> 00:16:48,320 he believes in and sometimes you've just got to say, "I didn't sing 316 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,360 the national anthem because I don't want to sing the national anthem." 317 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,240 - It's a shit song. It's a terrible song. - Yeah. It's a stupid song. 318 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,960 For example, what you're saying is God Save Our Queen, 319 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,360 you're saying someone most of us don't believe in can save 320 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,960 someone who gets the best medical care money can buy. 321 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,440 She has her own surgeon. 322 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,039 Just wanders round behind her with a gown on and a mask, just waiting. 323 00:17:10,039 --> 00:17:11,720 If something needs doing. 324 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,680 She's fine. God Save The Queen, forget about that. 325 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,640 God save the rest of us... 326 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,640 The national anthem of this country should be Uptown Girl by Billy Joel. 327 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,119 I firmly believe that. 328 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,799 The only time a national anthem has any use 329 00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:29,400 is before an international football match 330 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,400 and say we're playing Germany and you put on Uptown Girl, all the 331 00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:37,319 German fans will join in and it will be like the whole stadium 332 00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:39,400 supporting us. 333 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,960 ? Living in an uptown world... ? 334 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,480 And all the Geordies could join in and the Scousers could 335 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,119 join in on the... 336 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,240 ? Why-aye-aye... ? 337 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,319 - It would be a great national anthem. - A lovely idea. 338 00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:55,119 APPLAUSE 339 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,960 Joey, the thing that Jeremy Corbyn's done brilliantly is make 340 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,119 Ed Miliband look good in retrospect. You met Ed Miliband, didn't you? 341 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,200 - I did, yeah. - How did you get on? 342 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,079 Yeah, he was all right. He was quite a nice guy. I think... 343 00:18:06,079 --> 00:18:07,240 I get on with him well. 344 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,720 I mean, I ain't got his number, but he's a cool guy, man. 345 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,240 Who else did you meet? You met Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband... 346 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,839 - Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband and... - Did you meet Nigel Farage? 347 00:18:14,839 --> 00:18:17,039 That was it, Nigel Farage. 348 00:18:17,039 --> 00:18:19,160 - Did you like him? - Yeah, he was all right. 349 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,799 I was meant to go to a bar with him, 350 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:23,400 but I swerved the bar and went fish and chips instead. 351 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,640 - That was it, yeah. - Weird how every single one of them 352 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,599 - has lost their job after talking to you. - Yeah. 353 00:18:28,599 --> 00:18:31,000 Everyone has. Yeah. 354 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,880 Hmm. 355 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,559 I really like Corbyn. 356 00:18:34,559 --> 00:18:38,559 He looks like he'd always have an emergency Twix in his pocket. 357 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,880 I really like that. You do as well, Jon, actually. 358 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,960 I don't have any pockets, so god knows where I've put it. 359 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,480 - You've got one in your glove compartment. - I... Well, yeah. 360 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,119 - Well... - Jon keeps his gloves in the glove compartment and that's it. 361 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,880 Well, my gloves don't fit in my glove compartment 362 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,039 because they're in a box. 363 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:03,039 So they're in a pouch behind the driver's seat 364 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:06,119 and I don't keep chocolate in the car cos the glove box gets hot 365 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,680 and I do have a box of cereal bars in the boot in a shoe box. 366 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,640 What was in the glove box? 367 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,519 - Glove box is the log book for the car... - Oh, God... 368 00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:17,039 My emergency escape hammer and... 369 00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:21,039 Ladies and gentlemen, the new Labour leader. 370 00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:25,039 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 371 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:29,279 Shall we have a look and see if Jeremy Corbyn is up there? 372 00:19:29,279 --> 00:19:31,839 The most talked about person this year. 373 00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:33,039 APPLAUSE 374 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,359 Yes, it's the new Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn. 375 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,920 Jeremy Corbyn is a vegetarian and teetotal, 376 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,480 so there's more to him than just left wing politics. 377 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,480 He can also be a sanctimonious prick about what you eat and drink. 378 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,160 He's like politics' answer to Jon Richardson. 379 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,440 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 380 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,160 I'll drink. 381 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:57,799 That's it for part one. See you after the break. APPLAUSE 382 00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:02,900 Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats. 383 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,339 We're guessing the most talked-about people of the year. 384 00:20:05,339 --> 00:20:07,940 Jon's team, who have the nation been talking about this year? 385 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,940 Can we go for someone who's not a person? 386 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:13,380 Because people, I think, have been talking about Cecil the lion. 387 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,460 The late Cecil the lion. 388 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:17,460 Tell us what happened with Cecil the lion. 389 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:21,460 Well, he was shot by a very brave dentist, Walter Palmer. 390 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:25,740 Because you can go to Africa, you can pay and go and shoot a lion. 391 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:29,740 - It happens all the time. - Jimmy... I'm sure Jimmy's done it. 392 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:35,380 Don't spoil Secret Santa. 393 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,500 Why would I go to Africa to do that? 394 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:41,940 I live next to London Zoo. 395 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,339 I think it's good that he shot the lion. 396 00:20:44,339 --> 00:20:45,619 Excellent. OK. 397 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,740 All this Twitter and moaning about... 398 00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:50,299 "Oh, the lion got shot," and how terrible it is, 399 00:20:50,299 --> 00:20:51,740 nobody managed to hear 400 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:55,259 all the zebras clapping their hooves together. 401 00:20:55,259 --> 00:20:56,980 "Well done, mate. 402 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:59,460 "Nobody listens to us, do they? 403 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:03,460 "Finally, you've put that crazed serial killer out of action." 404 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,299 I do think it's like Sean said. 405 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:09,420 It is symptomatic of the fact that people just... 406 00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:12,299 Cecil the lion got shot, it's sad, and they put up this photo 407 00:21:12,299 --> 00:21:14,220 and go, "Share if you dislike it." 408 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:17,740 People... Like, why is Cecil better than any other animal? 409 00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:20,500 People eat shitloads of chicken, like cows and all this stuff. 410 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,099 You don't have a memorial for every one of those that gets put 411 00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:24,539 into a burger or whatever. 412 00:21:24,539 --> 00:21:26,700 I think you should have little Facebook pictures, 413 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,539 a packet of chicken nuggets, just arrows pointing towards it. 414 00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:32,180 "This is Dave. This is Henrietta. 415 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:34,180 "This is Clucky. Share if you disagree." 416 00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:35,299 Do you know what I mean? 417 00:21:35,299 --> 00:21:38,660 I reckon if a dentist shot me... If a dentist shot me, 418 00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:41,900 there wouldn't be an outcry. 419 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,900 If my head was on a dental reception area... 420 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,140 I don't think there's any way your teeth 421 00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:52,740 would be on display in a dentist's. 422 00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:56,299 Before and after. 423 00:21:56,299 --> 00:21:58,660 I think, with Cecil, that it's his name. 424 00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:01,259 Like, Cecil is such a cute name. 425 00:22:01,259 --> 00:22:05,259 Like, if he'd been called, like, Osama bin Lion-den 426 00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:08,859 or Fred West the lion. 427 00:22:08,859 --> 00:22:11,539 - Fred West the lion? - Yeah. 428 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,099 I think it's not right. It's liberty, man. 429 00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,099 What you're forgetting is that in the wild, 430 00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,380 lions get their throats ripped out, usually, like, by a nephew - 431 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:20,500 just turns on them. 432 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,940 It's not like they would have slowly died in an old people's home, 433 00:22:23,940 --> 00:22:27,940 flicking through the Radio Times going, "Nothing on today." 434 00:22:29,259 --> 00:22:31,259 There's so few left, which is why 435 00:22:31,259 --> 00:22:33,380 it's probably best we preserve the ones we've got 436 00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:35,539 and don't let dentists on their holidays 437 00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:37,660 go and shoot a bullet into one. 438 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:41,660 APPLAUSE 439 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,859 Corbyn! Corbyn! Corbyn! 440 00:22:46,859 --> 00:22:50,859 Let's have a look and see if Cecil's up there. 441 00:22:52,619 --> 00:22:55,539 Yes, it's the American dentist shooting Cecil the lion, 442 00:22:55,539 --> 00:22:58,900 or Cecil the rug, as he's now known. 443 00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:00,740 Fingers on buzzers. Two more things to get. 444 00:23:00,740 --> 00:23:02,940 Who else is the most talked-about person this year? 445 00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:06,579 - Donald Trump. - Donald Trump. Tell me more. What do you think? 446 00:23:06,579 --> 00:23:09,940 He's a frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination. 447 00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:13,940 - Yeah. - And he's got some quite spicy views. 448 00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:17,259 He's like a sort of Farage on steroids, isn't he? 449 00:23:17,259 --> 00:23:20,740 Quite full-on opinions on a lot of things. 450 00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:24,740 He's recently said that he's just going to ban Muslims from America. 451 00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:26,380 Just going to ban them. 452 00:23:26,380 --> 00:23:29,420 I mean, you know, it's nuts. 453 00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:32,180 And I suppose he's only, like, a whisker away 454 00:23:32,180 --> 00:23:34,299 from suggesting the reintroduction of slavery. 455 00:23:34,299 --> 00:23:37,259 That's about a week down the line. 456 00:23:37,259 --> 00:23:40,619 But the worse things he says, the more popular he gets. 457 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:44,299 Well, should we play a little game of Trumped or trumped up? 458 00:23:44,299 --> 00:23:46,500 So I've got some genuine Donald Trump phrases. 459 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,819 Some incredible things that he's said over the years. 460 00:23:48,819 --> 00:23:51,819 All you have to do is tell me whether it's Trump or trumped up. OK? 461 00:23:51,819 --> 00:23:54,460 Jon, you've got to pick someone on your team to be Donald Trump. 462 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,980 - Who's going to be Donald Trump? - You're the most right wing. 463 00:23:56,980 --> 00:24:00,940 I'll do it. I'll probably agree with most of these statements. 464 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,339 Go over to the podium there. 465 00:24:03,339 --> 00:24:05,619 Jon is going to give us three incredible quotes. 466 00:24:05,619 --> 00:24:09,619 You've got to tell me is it Trump or trumped up. 467 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:20,140 IN AMERICAN ACCENT: Can't even get down the goddamn stairs. 468 00:24:20,339 --> 00:24:22,539 Just before we do this, could you tell me, 469 00:24:22,539 --> 00:24:26,539 are Buck's Fizz planning to tour at all or... 470 00:24:27,339 --> 00:24:31,299 I don't know, Jimmy. We're having trouble making our mind up. 471 00:24:31,299 --> 00:24:35,299 APPLAUSE 472 00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:39,099 OK, so you've got three quotes here. So the first one, please. 473 00:24:39,099 --> 00:24:42,140 IN AMERICAN ACCENT: My fingers are long and beautiful, 474 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:46,140 as - it has been well-documented - are various other parts of my body. 475 00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:50,180 OK. 476 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:51,819 A couple of things. 477 00:24:51,819 --> 00:24:55,740 Firstly, he's not from Texas. 478 00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:57,740 OK, so is that Trump or trumped up? 479 00:24:57,740 --> 00:24:59,259 - What do you think, Isy? - Oh, God. 480 00:24:59,259 --> 00:25:01,819 Everything's going to sound like Trump because he's a loon. 481 00:25:01,819 --> 00:25:04,180 Yeah, that's true. I think it's probably Trump. 482 00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:06,819 You're saying Trump. I can tell you you're absolutely right. 483 00:25:06,819 --> 00:25:10,819 Donald Trump said that. 484 00:25:12,539 --> 00:25:16,420 Mr Trump, slightly more of a New York accent, if you will, this time. 485 00:25:16,420 --> 00:25:20,420 IN GEORDIE ACCENT: I've already said, man... 486 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,900 That's Newcastle. God. New York. 487 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,619 IN NEW YORK ACCENT: I've already said, 488 00:25:27,619 --> 00:25:31,619 if she wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her. 489 00:25:35,859 --> 00:25:39,259 - Is that Trump or trumped up? - I feel like that's a bit far, even for him. 490 00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:43,259 - Do you? - No, I believe that is Trump. 491 00:25:43,539 --> 00:25:45,500 - Are you saying Trump? - Trump. 492 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:49,500 I can tell you you're absolutely right. That was Donald Trump. 493 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:52,900 What a guy! 494 00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:55,019 He said of his daughter, 495 00:25:55,019 --> 00:25:57,980 "If she wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." 496 00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:01,099 Oh, thanks, Dad. 497 00:26:01,099 --> 00:26:02,619 Last one, Jon. 498 00:26:02,619 --> 00:26:04,779 I'm a Swiss army knife of skills, 499 00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:06,900 business skills and enthusiasm. 500 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,900 Point of order, I'll have that again in a full American accent. 501 00:26:11,259 --> 00:26:15,259 IN AMERICAN ACCENT: I'm a Swiss army knife of skills, business skills 502 00:26:15,339 --> 00:26:19,339 and goddamn, rootin', tootin', shit-on-my-titties enthusiasm. 503 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:30,180 I've got everything highly tuned and highly chiselled. 504 00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:34,180 God damn, that's right. 505 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:37,500 That was quite wonderful. Is that Trump or trumped up? 506 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:41,460 I don't think it was. I think that's Mary Berry. 507 00:26:41,460 --> 00:26:43,099 What do you think? 508 00:26:43,099 --> 00:26:45,619 Yeah, I think we should say trumped up. Yeah. 509 00:26:45,619 --> 00:26:48,380 You're going to say trumped up. I can tell you that was trumped up. 510 00:26:48,380 --> 00:26:52,380 That was, in fact, Richard from this year's Apprentice. 511 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:56,500 OK, Jon, you come back. 512 00:26:58,259 --> 00:27:01,180 Sean, who are you going to nominate from your team to be Donald Trump? 513 00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:05,180 Romesh is going to do it for us. 514 00:27:16,619 --> 00:27:17,779 You've got three quotes. 515 00:27:17,779 --> 00:27:20,299 Sean, Joey, you've got to tell me is it Trump or trumped up. 516 00:27:20,299 --> 00:27:23,099 IN AMERICAN ACCENT: You know, 517 00:27:23,099 --> 00:27:25,180 it really doesn't matter what the media write 518 00:27:25,180 --> 00:27:29,180 as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass. 519 00:27:29,259 --> 00:27:33,259 I should point out that Donald Trump is not and has never been a pimp. 520 00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:37,140 I'd say trumped up. No, it's a bit too far even for him. 521 00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:38,299 Trumped. Trumped. 522 00:27:38,299 --> 00:27:41,900 That was the next President of the United States Donald Trump. 523 00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:43,819 That's right. OK. Next one. 524 00:27:43,819 --> 00:27:45,980 If I don't have a woman for three days, 525 00:27:45,980 --> 00:27:49,980 I get terrible headaches, I tell you. 526 00:27:50,299 --> 00:27:53,339 I don't believe that. It can't be. Trumped up. Trumped. 527 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:54,500 You're saying trumped up? 528 00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,500 Mate, I don't even know who Donald Trump is, mate. 529 00:28:04,019 --> 00:28:07,579 He sounds like a proper weirdo to me, mate. 530 00:28:07,579 --> 00:28:11,180 I can tell you, you're right. That was in fact JFK. 531 00:28:11,180 --> 00:28:12,980 Romesh, last one. 532 00:28:12,980 --> 00:28:16,819 It's freezing and snowing in New York. 533 00:28:16,819 --> 00:28:20,819 We need global warming on this bitch! 534 00:28:24,819 --> 00:28:28,259 A little trip down to New Orleans there, I see. 535 00:28:28,259 --> 00:28:30,099 We went down to the Bayou there, did we? 536 00:28:30,099 --> 00:28:33,900 A little bit of preaching. OK. 537 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:35,819 What do you think? Trump or trumped up? 538 00:28:35,819 --> 00:28:37,819 I think it's probably definitely Trump. 539 00:28:37,819 --> 00:28:41,819 Well, you are absolutely right. That was Donald Trump. 540 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,539 Let's see if Donald Trump is one 541 00:28:46,539 --> 00:28:50,539 of the most talked-about people this year. 542 00:28:50,660 --> 00:28:53,059 Yes, it's Donald Trump. 543 00:28:53,059 --> 00:28:55,619 Donald Trump is shaking things up in American politics 544 00:28:55,619 --> 00:28:59,619 and the things he's shaking up are mainly cans of hairspray. 545 00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:03,619 OK, fingers on buzzers. One more thing to get. Sean. 546 00:29:03,619 --> 00:29:06,339 - James Bond. - James Bond, huge story this year. 547 00:29:06,339 --> 00:29:09,619 Yeah, James Bond, it's a new film out. What's it called? Spectre. 548 00:29:09,619 --> 00:29:12,460 - Spectre. You'd make a very good Bond, Joey Essex. - Me, yeah? 549 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:16,460 - You'd make a very good Bond. - Good Milk Tray Man. - Not me, then? 550 00:29:17,460 --> 00:29:20,259 - I think we're ready for a Bond from Essex. - I think so. 551 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:22,700 - Do you reckon it would suit me? - Joey's not from Essex. 552 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:25,059 The only person on this panel who's from Essex is me. 553 00:29:25,059 --> 00:29:27,220 - You weren't born there. - I'm from Bermondsey. 554 00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,779 - Yeah, there you go. - Exclusive. 555 00:29:29,779 --> 00:29:32,380 They edited you out of The Only Way Is Essex, didn't they? 556 00:29:32,380 --> 00:29:34,460 Largely, yeah. 557 00:29:34,460 --> 00:29:37,259 - Who are you getting with? - Who was I getting with? - Yeah. 558 00:29:37,259 --> 00:29:39,819 Is there one called 559 00:29:39,819 --> 00:29:42,019 Sally? 560 00:29:42,019 --> 00:29:44,859 I don't remember a Sally. Was she a sort? 561 00:29:44,859 --> 00:29:47,779 - Yeah, oh, she was a sort. - That's all right, then. 562 00:29:47,779 --> 00:29:49,700 Well, if she was a right sort... 563 00:29:49,700 --> 00:29:53,180 You're all right. You can say you're a right weapon, that means a sort. 564 00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:55,859 - You're a... - You're a proper weapon. - You're a proper weapon. 565 00:29:55,859 --> 00:29:58,619 Listen, mate, you can talk like that but I can't say that shit. 566 00:29:58,619 --> 00:30:02,259 Particularly in airports. 567 00:30:02,259 --> 00:30:05,180 I've got six weapons here with me. 568 00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:08,420 Enjoy the rectal search, mate. 569 00:30:08,420 --> 00:30:10,140 What did you think of the Bond movie? 570 00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:11,859 Shit, mate. 571 00:30:11,859 --> 00:30:14,660 This debate about whether we should have a black Bond or whatever, 572 00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:18,099 the issue is to have, like, a Bond that just looks regular. 573 00:30:18,099 --> 00:30:20,900 I'm done with these, like, fit, super-athletic... 574 00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:22,339 What's more undercover 575 00:30:22,339 --> 00:30:25,140 than looking like you couldn't handle yourself in a fight? 576 00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:29,140 Just some guy that looks like dog shit, just wheezing his way through. 577 00:30:30,099 --> 00:30:32,940 Jon, are you available? 578 00:30:32,940 --> 00:30:36,940 I'd like to see a Bond film where he dies, right, where he gets killed, 579 00:30:37,420 --> 00:30:40,740 but not in like... By a laser or they've tied him to something 580 00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:41,940 and the sharks eat him. 581 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:45,940 He gets hit by an ice cream van and goes to hospital 582 00:30:46,059 --> 00:30:48,740 and then he gets MRSA 583 00:30:48,740 --> 00:30:52,740 and he just dies in a really sort of unspectacular, depressing, 584 00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:54,980 but also socially relevant way. 585 00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,500 In those films, he's slept with over 50 women now. 586 00:30:57,500 --> 00:31:01,500 I think his enemy in the next film is going to be chlamydia. 587 00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:05,980 OK, let's see if James Bond is up there. 588 00:31:07,019 --> 00:31:11,019 At the end of that round, Jon's team are in the lead. 589 00:31:11,339 --> 00:31:17,500 That's it for part two. See you after the break. 590 00:31:22,660 --> 00:31:24,140 Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats. 591 00:31:24,140 --> 00:31:27,259 Our next round features some of the smaller stories from the year. 592 00:31:27,259 --> 00:31:29,740 Jon, pick a story. What do you like the look of? 593 00:31:29,740 --> 00:31:33,740 I suppose, given all this paraphernalia, it would be odd 594 00:31:33,940 --> 00:31:35,700 not to pick a dog. 595 00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:38,339 - Let's pick the dog. - All right. You've chosen the dog. 596 00:31:38,339 --> 00:31:40,059 There was controversy in June when 597 00:31:40,059 --> 00:31:42,819 Matisse, the canine winner of Britain's Got Talent was secretly 598 00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:45,180 assisted by a stunt dog double. 599 00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:47,779 You're a dog lover, Jon, what did you make of this story? 600 00:31:47,779 --> 00:31:51,500 I am a big fan of dogs as you know, but I am a bigger fan of rules... 601 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,859 LAUGHTER 602 00:31:53,859 --> 00:31:55,380 Yeah, rules are fun, aren't they? 603 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:58,059 You can just about have society without dogs but you can't have 604 00:31:58,059 --> 00:32:02,059 society without rules so the dog should have been incinerated... 605 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:05,460 OK. We've got a challenge for you. 606 00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:08,420 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sarah and Mack. 607 00:32:08,420 --> 00:32:12,420 Hello, Sarah and Mack. 608 00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:15,539 OK, Mack and Sarah. 609 00:32:15,539 --> 00:32:17,180 We will demo what they have to be doing. 610 00:32:17,180 --> 00:32:19,420 On your marks. Get set, go. 611 00:32:19,420 --> 00:32:21,700 OK, go through. 612 00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:24,339 - Hang on. - Weave, weave. - Jesus. Weave! 613 00:32:24,339 --> 00:32:25,420 Weave, weave. 614 00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:26,619 Good boy. 615 00:32:26,619 --> 00:32:30,619 APPLAUSE 616 00:32:31,420 --> 00:32:35,420 Sarah and Mack, thank you very much. 617 00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:37,740 Jon, what do you want to do? 618 00:32:37,740 --> 00:32:41,740 - Want to take that dog to a caravan somewhere, erm... - Whoa! Whoa. 619 00:32:43,099 --> 00:32:44,619 Ohhhh! 620 00:32:44,619 --> 00:32:48,539 We were having such a nice time. Jon, who's going to do this? 621 00:32:48,539 --> 00:32:51,140 I'll be honest, I really want to do it. 622 00:32:51,140 --> 00:32:55,140 Get up there. 623 00:32:57,819 --> 00:33:01,819 Could we bring in Jon's dog, please? This is Suki. 624 00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:06,700 We're giving Jon treats. 625 00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:09,339 So you know what you've got to do? 626 00:33:09,339 --> 00:33:12,779 You are on the clock. 627 00:33:12,779 --> 00:33:15,180 On your marks, get set, go! Go, Jon. 628 00:33:15,180 --> 00:33:17,900 - This way... - Oh, huge! 629 00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:20,700 - Through the tunnel. - Suki! - Through the tunnel. 630 00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:22,299 Through the tunnel, Jon. 631 00:33:22,299 --> 00:33:26,299 Oh! LAUGHTER 632 00:33:26,819 --> 00:33:30,099 You've got to go through. Go through the tunnel. 633 00:33:30,099 --> 00:33:31,180 AUDIENCE: Yay! 634 00:33:31,180 --> 00:33:35,059 Weave, Jon. Weave! Come on, you can do this. 635 00:33:35,059 --> 00:33:36,900 Weave, weave. 636 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:38,740 Weave. Yeah. 637 00:33:38,740 --> 00:33:40,900 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 638 00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,500 No, audience, do not steal that dog. Jon, get it back. 639 00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:47,500 Get it back here, this is all on your time. 640 00:33:49,299 --> 00:33:51,220 OK, weave. 641 00:33:51,220 --> 00:33:53,539 Give it a kiss on the top of the head, that always helps. 642 00:33:53,539 --> 00:33:57,539 Take it to a caravan and seduce it, Jon. 643 00:33:58,380 --> 00:33:59,779 Yes! 644 00:33:59,779 --> 00:34:03,779 APPLAUSE 645 00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:12,860 That is one of the cutest half-dog half-bat type things I've ever seen. 646 00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:17,420 - This is mine now, yeah? - You've won the dog. 647 00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,820 Sean, who from your team is going to compete? 648 00:34:25,820 --> 00:34:29,820 I think Joey's got all the attributes to complete this course. 649 00:34:30,380 --> 00:34:32,980 I think I'd do well with this. I'm not academically clever 650 00:34:32,980 --> 00:34:34,300 but things like this I am. 651 00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:37,300 - Right. Does Joey's dog know the way around? - Yes. 652 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:40,659 I don't think Joey's going to be able to remember all that. 653 00:34:40,659 --> 00:34:44,659 OK, Joey, take your position. 654 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:51,820 - OK, let's meet your doggy partner. This is Blossom. - So I meet the dog? 655 00:34:52,260 --> 00:34:56,260 - Yes, you meet the dog. - It's like a fox. 656 00:34:56,539 --> 00:34:59,420 - When do I start? - OK, on your marks... 657 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:01,699 On your marks, get set, go. 658 00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:04,179 Blossom, Blossom, 'ere. 659 00:35:04,179 --> 00:35:07,179 Right, through the thing. 660 00:35:07,179 --> 00:35:08,780 OK. 661 00:35:08,780 --> 00:35:12,780 Look, no, no, no! 662 00:35:12,940 --> 00:35:15,179 Weave, you've got to weave. 663 00:35:15,179 --> 00:35:17,820 - Weave, weave. - Wow, wow! 664 00:35:17,820 --> 00:35:20,659 APPLAUSE 665 00:35:20,659 --> 00:35:24,659 Brilliant. 666 00:35:24,659 --> 00:35:28,260 LAUGHTER 667 00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:30,019 I think... Oh, there you go. OK. 668 00:35:30,019 --> 00:35:31,739 Oh... 669 00:35:31,739 --> 00:35:35,739 LAUGHTER 670 00:35:37,340 --> 00:35:41,340 Hang on, he's really committed to finishing this. Hang on. Oh! 671 00:35:44,099 --> 00:35:46,860 APPLAUSE 672 00:35:46,860 --> 00:35:49,980 Wow. For his commitment, I think the winner there is Joey Essex. 673 00:35:49,980 --> 00:35:53,739 APPLAUSE 674 00:35:53,739 --> 00:35:57,659 That is a hard sport. I'm telling you, I'm proper worn out. 675 00:35:57,659 --> 00:36:01,659 I sort of made the dog do it so... 676 00:36:03,340 --> 00:36:05,219 OK. Sean, your turn. Pick a picture. 677 00:36:05,219 --> 00:36:09,219 Erm... 678 00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:17,900 The dog wants to stay with me, Jimmy. 679 00:36:20,139 --> 00:36:22,659 That's how you make a dog. 680 00:36:22,659 --> 00:36:26,659 SEAN: That is very worrying, that suggests some kind of dog fellatio. 681 00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:31,179 - "Fellashio"? - Fellatio. 682 00:36:31,179 --> 00:36:34,179 I was fellashing a dog, what?! 683 00:36:34,179 --> 00:36:36,460 Fellatio! I don't know. Fellashio. 684 00:36:36,460 --> 00:36:40,460 # I say fellatio, you say fellashio, fellatio, fellashio, fellatio, 685 00:36:41,139 --> 00:36:44,219 - # fellashio... - Let's suck the whole thing off. # 686 00:36:44,219 --> 00:36:46,659 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 687 00:36:46,659 --> 00:36:48,739 It's like a barbershop quartet. 688 00:36:48,739 --> 00:36:51,500 OK, Sean, your turn to choose a picture. 689 00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:53,380 I'll have a man with the beard, please. 690 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:56,260 That's Rob, he went viral this year and he is here 691 00:36:56,260 --> 00:36:59,139 tonight along with some other people who also went viral in 2015. 692 00:36:59,139 --> 00:37:02,699 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Rob, Joseph, Abby and Mike. 693 00:37:02,699 --> 00:37:06,699 Here they are. 694 00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:12,380 Your task is to work out who went viral for what. 695 00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:13,699 It's multiple choice. 696 00:37:13,699 --> 00:37:16,139 These are the stories - you have to match them to the people. 697 00:37:16,139 --> 00:37:19,460 Story number one, one of these people went viral when they 698 00:37:19,460 --> 00:37:23,460 started an Ed Miliband fan movement called Milifandom on social media. 699 00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:26,940 Story number two - this person's picture went viral 700 00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:28,739 when they boarded a flight only to find 701 00:37:28,739 --> 00:37:30,980 they were sitting next to their doppelganger. 702 00:37:30,980 --> 00:37:34,059 Story number three, this person went viral after officially naming 703 00:37:34,059 --> 00:37:38,059 their baby Bermondsey Millwall Den, without telling their partner. 704 00:37:39,820 --> 00:37:43,420 Story four, this person went viral after being given a video camera 705 00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:46,219 to take on holiday to Las Vegas. They filmed the entire holiday 706 00:37:46,219 --> 00:37:50,219 but didn't realise they had the camera on selfie mode. 707 00:37:51,940 --> 00:37:54,659 So, Sean's team, you are looking for the doppelganger 708 00:37:54,659 --> 00:37:56,579 and the inventor of Milifandom. 709 00:37:56,579 --> 00:38:00,260 - It's the girl. - It's got to be Abby. - Why do you think it might be Abby? 710 00:38:00,260 --> 00:38:02,219 She wears glasses, she looks clever. 711 00:38:02,219 --> 00:38:05,699 Think about it, Joey, Sean's got glasses and... 712 00:38:05,699 --> 00:38:08,099 Eh... 713 00:38:08,099 --> 00:38:10,539 - You're clever. - Thank you. 714 00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:14,539 Know what, Joey? That means a lot. 715 00:38:19,860 --> 00:38:23,820 OK, who do you think sat on a plane next to their doppelganger? 716 00:38:23,820 --> 00:38:27,739 - Is that the double of someone? - Yes, it is. - Jesus Christ! 717 00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,300 Get a pair of glasses. 718 00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:33,300 CHEERING 719 00:38:33,860 --> 00:38:35,739 I think it is the dude with the beard. 720 00:38:35,739 --> 00:38:39,059 Yeah, the other two look really boring. 721 00:38:39,059 --> 00:38:43,059 - You wouldn't even notice if you're sat next to somebody who looked exactly like them. - No. Exactly. 722 00:38:44,019 --> 00:38:45,300 So you've got paddles there, 723 00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:47,940 give the paddles to the people you think relate to the story. 724 00:38:47,940 --> 00:38:51,940 You've got Miliband and you've got doppelganger. 725 00:38:52,460 --> 00:38:56,460 - OK, so... - Do you put anything in there? - No. - Are you serious? 726 00:38:56,739 --> 00:38:59,019 It is so soft, man. 727 00:38:59,019 --> 00:39:00,940 No. 728 00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:03,579 LAUGHTER 729 00:39:03,579 --> 00:39:05,980 Smells incredible, dude. 730 00:39:05,980 --> 00:39:08,420 Maybe take it to a caravan. 731 00:39:08,420 --> 00:39:12,420 APPLAUSE 732 00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:17,780 Here you are, Milifandom. 733 00:39:17,780 --> 00:39:20,460 Jon, you are looking for the person who named their baby 734 00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:23,340 Bermondsey Millwall Den without telling their partner. 735 00:39:23,340 --> 00:39:26,420 You're also looking for the Las Vegas holiday-maker who filmed 736 00:39:26,420 --> 00:39:29,059 the whole trip in selfie mode. 737 00:39:29,059 --> 00:39:30,699 An incredible piece of film. 738 00:39:30,699 --> 00:39:33,579 The most incredible bit of that footage is not the selfie mode, 739 00:39:33,579 --> 00:39:36,300 but the moment he tries to take a selfie and for 740 00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:40,300 the first time on his holiday takes a picture of something. 741 00:39:42,059 --> 00:39:46,059 - Put your hands up if you like... - Seriously, Rich takes quizzes. 742 00:39:46,579 --> 00:39:50,579 I just want to find the guy who most looks like he loves 743 00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:54,699 Leeds United Football Club. 744 00:39:54,699 --> 00:39:56,860 Really wants them to do well. 745 00:39:56,860 --> 00:40:00,860 Just wishes them all the best and loves their fans. 746 00:40:01,860 --> 00:40:03,460 - That way? - Yeah. 747 00:40:03,460 --> 00:40:06,820 - I think the other way. - Have you seen the video though? - No. - So... 748 00:40:06,820 --> 00:40:10,820 It's not out of disrespect but I'm not going to follow you. 749 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,739 Right, time to reveal the answers. 750 00:40:16,739 --> 00:40:19,619 So, Joe, you are the guy that went to Las Vegas. Was that you? 751 00:40:19,619 --> 00:40:21,699 Correct. 752 00:40:21,699 --> 00:40:24,219 - It was me. - OK. APPLAUSE 753 00:40:24,219 --> 00:40:28,219 OK. Let's treat ourselves to a little look at your holiday video. 754 00:40:28,820 --> 00:40:31,099 Let's take a look. 755 00:40:31,099 --> 00:40:34,500 I don't know what direction the Grand Canyon is. I'm not sure. 756 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:38,500 I think it's...that way. 757 00:40:39,059 --> 00:40:42,860 That's the view looking down. Wooooo! 758 00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:46,460 That's the Trump Towers, same colour as his hair. 759 00:40:46,460 --> 00:40:50,460 Now, that view is looking north. 760 00:40:51,900 --> 00:40:55,900 I'm here at a junction of several roads... 761 00:40:59,460 --> 00:41:03,460 APPLAUSE 762 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:10,699 Seems like a stupid thing to do, are you related to Joey in any way or...? 763 00:41:10,699 --> 00:41:13,659 - Is that a coincidence? - Long time no see. 764 00:41:13,659 --> 00:41:16,260 Have I met you before? 765 00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:18,099 LAUGHTER 766 00:41:18,099 --> 00:41:19,619 Jon's team. 767 00:41:19,619 --> 00:41:23,619 You thought Mike named his child Bermondsey Millwall Den, 768 00:41:24,139 --> 00:41:25,980 is that what happened, Mike? 769 00:41:25,980 --> 00:41:29,980 Yes. And I do hate Leeds. 770 00:41:33,539 --> 00:41:36,340 - OK, Abby, did you set up the hashtag Milifandom? - Yes, I did. 771 00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:39,940 APPLAUSE 772 00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:43,940 Everyone is getting these right. Last one, Rob, you met your doppelganger? 773 00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:48,820 - Correct. - Shall we have a look at the photo you took? 774 00:41:48,820 --> 00:41:52,820 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 775 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:58,500 And we have that stranger here this evening, bring him in. 776 00:42:06,099 --> 00:42:08,699 LAUGHTER 777 00:42:08,699 --> 00:42:12,699 It is actually very similar. It's a nice... 778 00:42:12,860 --> 00:42:14,860 Go for it. 779 00:42:14,860 --> 00:42:16,219 Thanks. 780 00:42:16,219 --> 00:42:17,739 There was a minute when you stood up 781 00:42:17,739 --> 00:42:20,739 when I thought you might genuinely think all three of you might... 782 00:42:20,739 --> 00:42:24,739 LAUGHTER 783 00:42:26,739 --> 00:42:29,539 Thanks very much to Rob, Abby, Mike and Joseph! 784 00:42:29,539 --> 00:42:33,539 APPLAUSE 785 00:42:35,460 --> 00:42:38,500 At the end of all that, Jon's team are in the lead. 786 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:44,500 That's it for part three. See you after the break. 787 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,840 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 788 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,920 Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats End Of Year Special. 789 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,559 Sean, Joey, Romesh, your turn to choose a picture. 790 00:42:52,559 --> 00:42:55,000 I'll go for the one with the black hair. 791 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,199 - Who I think is in One Direction. - Yes, he is. That's Zayn. 792 00:42:58,199 --> 00:43:02,199 He was in One Direction. He left One Direction earlier this year. 793 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,000 SNIFFS 794 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,280 LAUGHTER 795 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,280 Sean, were you upset when he left? 796 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:16,440 I... Still can't talk about it, Jimmy. Just move on! 797 00:43:16,519 --> 00:43:20,519 Obviously, there's space in the band now and it needs to be filled. 798 00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:23,719 So this is the One Direction Karaoke Challenge. 799 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,840 Sean, who from your team is going to audition as Zayn's replacement? 800 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,480 - Would you like to do it, Romesh? - I'm up for doing it. - OK. 801 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,760 Well, take your place in the middle and to help you, 802 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,079 here is the cast of the One Direction Story. 803 00:43:34,079 --> 00:43:35,960 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 804 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,320 Jump in there. Those are some men that are vaguely the same 805 00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,719 shapes as the One Direction boys. OK. 806 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,519 So, Romesh, you've got to sing the One Direction classic, 807 00:43:44,519 --> 00:43:46,039 Story Of My Life. 808 00:43:46,039 --> 00:43:48,920 Yeah, sure. No problem. 809 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,920 - OK, take it away. - I'm going to smash the shit out of this, Hazza. 810 00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,920 # She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us 811 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,920 # In her bones 812 00:44:07,079 --> 00:44:09,320 # It seems to me that when I die 813 00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:13,320 # These words will be written on our stone 814 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:18,280 # And I'll be gone, gone tonight 815 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:22,119 # The ground beneath my feet is open wide 816 00:44:22,119 --> 00:44:25,880 # The way that I've been holding on too tight 817 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:29,880 # With nothing in between 818 00:44:31,119 --> 00:44:33,159 # The story of my life 819 00:44:33,159 --> 00:44:35,480 # I give her hope 820 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,239 # I spend her love 821 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:41,239 # Until she's broke inside 822 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:45,079 ? The story of my life. ? 823 00:44:45,079 --> 00:44:49,079 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 824 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,119 Romesh, I've got to say, I loved your commitment to that 825 00:44:56,119 --> 00:45:00,119 - and I also liked the fact you look actively winded now. - It's hard, man. 826 00:45:00,559 --> 00:45:04,559 I didn't realise you were shit at so many different things. 827 00:45:04,679 --> 00:45:08,559 You can do the lot! 828 00:45:08,559 --> 00:45:11,199 OK, Jon, who from your team is going to take up 829 00:45:11,199 --> 00:45:13,119 the One Direction Karaoke Challenge? 830 00:45:13,119 --> 00:45:16,079 - Who wants to do it? - I'll do it. I'm going to smash it in the dick. 831 00:45:16,079 --> 00:45:19,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Right in the dick? 832 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,440 Take it away, boys. 833 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,159 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 834 00:45:24,159 --> 00:45:26,000 Isy, your turn to sing. 835 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,639 You're singing the beautiful What Makes You Beautiful. 836 00:45:28,639 --> 00:45:32,639 OK, take it away. 837 00:45:38,079 --> 00:45:41,440 # Everyone else in the room can see it 838 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,960 # Everyone else but you 839 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,480 One, two, three! 840 00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,679 # Baby, you light up my world like nobody else 841 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:52,599 # The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed 842 00:45:52,599 --> 00:45:56,239 # But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell 843 00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,079 # You don't know, oh, oh 844 00:45:59,079 --> 00:46:01,400 # You're beautiful 845 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,000 # If only you saw what I can see 846 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,960 # You'll understand why I want you so desperately 847 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,800 # Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe 848 00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,199 # You don't know, oh, oh 849 00:46:14,199 --> 00:46:17,039 ? That's what makes you beautiful. ? 850 00:46:17,039 --> 00:46:20,280 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 851 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,719 Thank you. 852 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,119 Jon, how would you review that performance? 853 00:46:24,119 --> 00:46:26,880 I think it's been obvious for a long time that One Direction have 854 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:30,119 been missing a kung fu element. 855 00:46:30,119 --> 00:46:33,159 I think clearly the winner, Isy Suttie, everyone. Come on. 856 00:46:33,159 --> 00:46:34,800 Give it up. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 857 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,400 The cast of the One Direction Story there. 858 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,639 APPLAUSE 859 00:46:39,639 --> 00:46:42,760 BUZZER Well, that sound tells me it's the end of the round 860 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,079 and the end of the show, 861 00:46:44,079 --> 00:46:47,039 which means I can tell you tonight's winners are Jon, Isy and Richard. 862 00:46:47,039 --> 00:46:50,840 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE Thanks to all our panellists, our wonderful studio audience, 863 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,800 and to all of you for watching at home. That's it from us. Goodnight. 864 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:57,800 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 865 00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,400 Subtitles by Ericsson