1
00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:21,241
May I cut in?
2
00:00:30,045 --> 00:00:32,764
- You all right?
- Oh, thanks to you.
3
00:00:35,045 --> 00:00:38,117
You hurt your hand. Will you still be able to...
4
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:41,402
Do my solo and kiss you
like you've never been kissed before?
5
00:01:17,045 --> 00:01:19,036
You're drooling.
6
00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:22,036
Xander!
7
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,923
You've got a little...
8
00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:27,043
Their ancestors were here
long before we were.
9
00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:30,004
Their progeny will be here
long after we are gone.
10
00:01:30,085 --> 00:01:33,077
The simple and ubiquitous ant.
11
00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:42,715
Now, if you read the homework, you should
know the two ways that ants communicate.
12
00:01:45,045 --> 00:01:47,241
Miss Summers?
13
00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:49,316
Ways that ants communicate?
14
00:01:50,685 --> 00:01:52,483
With other ants?
15
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:56,158
From the homework,
ants are communicating...
16
00:02:00,045 --> 00:02:01,638
Touch
17
00:02:01,725 --> 00:02:04,524
and, um...
18
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:08,483
BO?
19
00:02:08,565 --> 00:02:11,205
Thank God someone finally mentioned that.
20
00:02:12,045 --> 00:02:15,879
That would be touch and smell,
Miss Summers?
21
00:02:17,245 --> 00:02:20,363
Is there anything else Miss Rosenberg
would like to tell you?
22
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:25,759
All right. Chapters six through eight
by tomorrow, people!
23
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,041
Can I see you for a moment?
24
00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:31,885
I gather you had problems
at your last school.
25
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,956
Well, what teenager doesn't?
26
00:02:34,045 --> 00:02:36,355
Cut school, get in fights,
27
00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:38,436
burn down the gymnasium.
28
00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:41,561
Principal Flutie showed me your record.
29
00:02:41,645 --> 00:02:45,684
Well, that fire, there was
major extenuating circumstances.
30
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:49,520
- Actually, it's kind of funny.
- I can't wait to see what you'll do here.
31
00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:52,961
Destructo Girl, that's me.
32
00:02:53,045 --> 00:02:57,437
- But I suspect it's gonna be great.
- You mean "great" in a bad way.
33
00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:04,081
You have a first-rate mind and can think
on your feet. Imagine if you actually did the...
34
00:03:04,165 --> 00:03:06,122
The homework thing?
35
00:03:06,725 --> 00:03:08,238
The homework thing.
36
00:03:08,325 --> 00:03:11,602
I understand you probably have
a good excuse for not doing it.
37
00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:13,756
Amazingly enough, I don't care.
38
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:19,999
I know you can excel in this class
and so I expect no less. Is that clear?
39
00:03:20,885 --> 00:03:22,717
Yeah.
40
00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:25,399
- Sorry.
- Don't be sorry. Be smart.
41
00:03:27,205 --> 00:03:32,359
And please don't listen to the Principal
or anyone else's negative opinion about you.
42
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:34,641
Let's make him eat that record.
43
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,763
What do you say?
44
00:03:37,845 --> 00:03:39,722
OK.
45
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:41,796
Thanks.
46
00:03:43,565 --> 00:03:45,715
Chapters six through eight.
47
00:06:08,685 --> 00:06:12,474
Seven, including Cheryl.
But her sister was lookin' to make it eight.
48
00:06:12,565 --> 00:06:15,079
Ooh! Cheryl's sister? The one in college?
49
00:06:15,165 --> 00:06:17,998
Home for the holidays and looking for love.
50
00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:21,680
She's not my type. A girl's really
gotta have something to go with me.
51
00:06:21,765 --> 00:06:23,961
Something like a lobotomy?
52
00:06:24,405 --> 00:06:26,919
Xander, how many times have you scored?
53
00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:30,475
- Well, uh...
- It's just a question.
54
00:06:31,365 --> 00:06:33,561
Are we talking today or the whole week?
55
00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:38,516
Ooh! Duty calls.
56
00:06:40,005 --> 00:06:41,996
Babes!
57
00:06:44,165 --> 00:06:46,156
- What are you doing?
- Work with me.
58
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:49,203
Blayne questioned my manliness.
I'm giving him a visual.
59
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,276
We'll show him!
60
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:58,164
- I don't believe it.
- I know. And after all my conquests.
61
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:02,117
- Who's that?
- That must be Angel... I think.
62
00:07:02,205 --> 00:07:06,483
- Who warned her about all the vampires?
- That's him, I'll bet you.
63
00:07:06,565 --> 00:07:10,081
Well, he's buff. She never said
anything about him being buff.
64
00:07:10,165 --> 00:07:14,284
- You think he's buff?
- He's very attractive. That never came up!
65
00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:18,114
- Well, look who's here.
- Hi.
66
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:21,641
I'd say it's nice to see you,
but we'd both know that's a big fib.
67
00:07:21,725 --> 00:07:23,398
I won't be long.
68
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:29,117
No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning
about a catastrophe, then disappear. Right?
69
00:07:29,205 --> 00:07:31,640
- You're cold.
- You can take it.
70
00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,717
I mean... you look cold.
71
00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:39,401
Oh, right. Give her your jacket.
72
00:07:39,485 --> 00:07:42,284
It's a balmy night.
No one needs to trade clothing!
73
00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:44,522
It's a little big on me.
74
00:07:47,245 --> 00:07:49,839
- What happened?
- I didn't pay attention.
75
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,678
- To somebody with a big fork?
- He's coming.
76
00:07:52,765 --> 00:07:56,235
- The fork guy?
- Don't let him corner you.
77
00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:59,204
Don't give him a moment's mercy.
78
00:07:59,285 --> 00:08:03,324
- He'll rip your throat out.
- OK. I'll give you improved marks for that.
79
00:08:03,405 --> 00:08:07,194
Ripping a throat out
is a strong visual. It's not cryptic.
80
00:08:07,605 --> 00:08:09,801
I have to go.
81
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:13,956
Sweet dreams to you, too.
82
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,354
That's all he said? "Fork guy"?
83
00:08:21,445 --> 00:08:23,834
That's all Cryptic Guy said - "fork guy".
84
00:08:23,925 --> 00:08:27,884
There are too many guys in your life!
I'll see what I can find out.
85
00:08:29,605 --> 00:08:31,596
God, every day here is the same.
86
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,996
Bright, sunny, beautiful.
How ever can we escape this torment?
87
00:08:35,085 --> 00:08:37,474
- Really! Morning.
- Morning.
88
00:08:37,565 --> 00:08:40,444
Guess what I just heard.
No Dr Gregory today.
89
00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:43,881
Ergo, those of us who blew off
our homework aren't so dumb.
90
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:46,115
- Is he sick?
- They didn't say sick.
91
00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:48,196
Something about... missing.
92
00:08:48,285 --> 00:08:50,799
- He's missing?
- Well, let me think.
93
00:08:50,885 --> 00:08:56,278
The cheerleaders were modelling their new
skirts. I kinda got... Yeah, they said missing.
94
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:01,956
- Which is bad?
- If something's wrong, yeah.
95
00:09:02,045 --> 00:09:05,640
He's one of the only teachers
that doesn't think Buffy's a felon.
96
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:08,721
I'm really sorry. I'm sure he'll...
97
00:09:34,165 --> 00:09:36,156
Could you help me?
98
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:39,284
Uh... yes.
99
00:09:39,365 --> 00:09:41,800
I'm looking for Science 109.
100
00:09:42,245 --> 00:09:44,236
Oh, it's um...
101
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:48,276
I go there every day.
102
00:09:49,565 --> 00:09:51,841
Oh, God, where is it?
103
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,759
Hi. Blayne Mall.
I'm goin' there right now.
104
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,156
It's not far from the varsity field
where I took all-city.
105
00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:01,236
Oh, thank you, Blayne.
106
00:10:07,325 --> 00:10:10,955
Funny how the earth never opens up
and swallows you when you want it to.
107
00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:22,158
What's wrong?
108
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:26,239
If Dr Gregory dropped his glasses,
why wouldn't he pick them up?
109
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:33,914
My name is Natalie French.
I'll be substituting for Dr Gregory.
110
00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:37,760
- Do you know when he's coming back?
- No, I don't, um... Buffy.
111
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:42,123
- They just tell me where they want me.
- I'll tell you where I want you.
112
00:10:43,045 --> 00:10:44,843
Excuse me, Blayne?
113
00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:48,839
Uh, I was just wondering if you were
gonna pick up where Dr Gregory left off.
114
00:10:50,005 --> 00:10:54,761
Yes. His notes tell me
you were right in the middle of insect life.
115
00:10:55,605 --> 00:11:00,122
The praying mantis is a fascinating creature,
forced to live alone.
116
00:11:00,205 --> 00:11:02,401
Who can tell me why?
117
00:11:02,485 --> 00:11:03,884
Buffy?
118
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:06,400
The words "bug-ugly" spring to mind.
119
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:10,917
There is nothing ugly
about these unique creatures.
120
00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:13,565
They live alone because they're cannibals.
121
00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:18,720
Well, it's hardly their fault.
It's the way nature designed them.
122
00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:22,435
Noble, solitary and prolific.
123
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:24,914
Over 1800 species worldwide.
124
00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:29,841
And in nearly all of them the female is larger
and more aggressive than the male.
125
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:32,519
Nothing wrong with an aggressive female.
126
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:40,959
"The California mantis lays her eggs
and then finds a mate to fertilise them."
127
00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:46,119
Once he's played his part,
she covers the eggs in a protective sac
128
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,323
and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger.
129
00:11:49,405 --> 00:11:51,601
Now, if she's done her job correctly,
130
00:11:51,685 --> 00:11:55,041
in a few months
she'll have several hundred offspring.
131
00:11:55,525 --> 00:11:59,678
You know, we should make
some model egg sacs for the science fair.
132
00:11:59,765 --> 00:12:02,154
Who would like to help me after school?
133
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:07,924
Good.
134
00:12:11,205 --> 00:12:13,879
Hot Dog Surprise. Be still, my heart.
135
00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:17,481
Call me old-fashioned.
I want no more surprises in my hot dogs.
136
00:12:17,565 --> 00:12:19,363
I wonder what she sees in me.
137
00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:23,723
It's probably the quiet good looks,
coupled with a smoky magnetism.
138
00:12:23,805 --> 00:12:28,515
Miss French. You're too young to understand
what an older woman sees in a younger man.
139
00:12:28,605 --> 00:12:31,404
- Oh, I understand.
- Good.
140
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:34,876
A younger man is too dumb to wonder
why she can't find a man her own age
141
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,479
and won't notice the surgical improvements.
142
00:12:37,565 --> 00:12:40,796
- What surgical improvements?
- Well, he is young.
143
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,922
And so terribly innocent.
144
00:12:43,005 --> 00:12:49,274
Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't,
laugh at those who can do.
145
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:52,756
Gotta carb up for my one-on-one
with Miss French. When's yours?
146
00:12:52,845 --> 00:12:56,964
Oh, right. Tomorrow.
You came in second. I came in first.
147
00:12:57,045 --> 00:13:00,595
Guess that's what they call natural selection.
148
00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:03,564
Guess it's what they call a rehearsal.
Rehearsal.
149
00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,763
Excuse you!
150
00:13:08,845 --> 00:13:14,158
Medically prescribed lunch. I'll only be here
as long as I can hold my breath.
151
00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:21,836
His head! His head!
Oh, my God! Where's his head?!
152
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,483
Here.
153
00:13:33,885 --> 00:13:35,683
Drink this.
154
00:13:35,765 --> 00:13:37,756
No, thank you.
155
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:44,355
I've never seen... I mean, I've never
seen anything like... That was new.
156
00:13:44,445 --> 00:13:47,085
Who would want to hurt Dr Gregory?
157
00:13:47,165 --> 00:13:52,683
He didn't have any enemies on the staff
that I'm aware of. He was a civilised man.
158
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,358
I liked him.
159
00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:56,716
So did I.
160
00:13:56,805 --> 00:14:01,003
We're gonna find out who did this.
We'll find them and stop them.
161
00:14:01,085 --> 00:14:03,759
- Count on it.
- What do we know?
162
00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:08,078
Not a lot. He was killed on campus,
I'm guessing the last day we saw him.
163
00:14:08,165 --> 00:14:11,396
- How do you work that out?
- He didn't change his clothing.
164
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:14,523
This is a question
no one particularly wants to hear.
165
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:16,437
Where did they put his head?
166
00:14:16,525 --> 00:14:19,677
Good point. I didn't want to hear that.
167
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:22,518
Angel. He warned me
that something was coming.
168
00:14:22,605 --> 00:14:26,280
Yes. Yes, he did, didn't he?
I wish I knew what he meant.
169
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:31,235
I've been trying to gather more information
about the Master, our local vampire king.
170
00:14:31,325 --> 00:14:36,559
There was a reference to a vampire who upset
the Master and cut his hand off in penance.
171
00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:40,354
- Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork?
- I don't know.
172
00:14:40,445 --> 00:14:43,995
- So why would he come after a teacher?
- I'm not certain he did.
173
00:14:44,085 --> 00:14:47,396
There was an incident two nights ago
174
00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:50,477
involving a homeless person
in Weatherly Park.
175
00:14:50,565 --> 00:14:54,877
He was practically shredded,
but nothing like Dr Gregory.
176
00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:58,003
- Fork Guy doesn't do heads?
- Not historically.
177
00:14:58,085 --> 00:15:00,076
Dr Gregory's blood wasn't drained.
178
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,396
So there's something else out there
besides Silverware Man?
179
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,840
Oh, this is fun. We're on Monster Island.
180
00:15:05,925 --> 00:15:09,884
We're on a Hellmouth.
It's a centre of mystical convergence.
181
00:15:09,965 --> 00:15:11,763
Guess it's the same thing.
182
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,234
Unpleasant things do gravitate here.
183
00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:18,603
But we don't know there's anything
besides this chap. He's our likely suspect.
184
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:22,918
- Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park?
- Buffy, I know you're upset,
185
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:27,602
but this is no time to go hunting.
Promise me you won't do anything rash.
186
00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:30,077
Cross my heart.
187
00:16:05,285 --> 00:16:09,279
Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady.
It's dangerous.
188
00:17:20,925 --> 00:17:23,314
Hold it! Police!
189
00:17:26,725 --> 00:17:30,195
- I heard it. Spread out!
- Let's go over here. This way.
190
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,117
- You went hunting last night?
- Yes.
191
00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:20,995
- When you assured me you wouldn't?
- Yes, I lied. I'm a bad person. Let's move on.
192
00:18:21,485 --> 00:18:25,194
- Did you see someone with a fork?
- More like a jumbo claw.
193
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,759
Oh.
194
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,643
At least you're not hurt.
195
00:18:29,725 --> 00:18:34,276
I saw something else. Something more
interesting than your average killer vampire.
196
00:18:34,365 --> 00:18:36,276
- Oh?
- Do you know Miss French?
197
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,835
- The teacher that's subbing for Dr Gregory?
- Yes. She's lovely.
198
00:18:39,925 --> 00:18:42,963
In a common,
extremely well-proportioned way.
199
00:18:43,045 --> 00:18:47,004
I'm chasing Claw Guy and
Miss Well-Proportioned is heading home.
200
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,998
Claw Guy sees her
and runs screaming for cover.
201
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:53,521
- He what? Ran away?
- He was petrified.
202
00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:55,403
Of Miss French?
203
00:18:55,485 --> 00:19:00,878
"I'm an undead monster that can shave with
my hand. How many things am I afraid of?"
204
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,605
Not many,
and not substitute teachers, as a rule.
205
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:08,156
- So what's her deal?
- It'd be a good idea to keep an eye on her.
206
00:19:08,245 --> 00:19:10,236
Then I'd better get to class.
207
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,039
You were there.
You saw Dr Gregory, didn't you?
208
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:20,197
You mean yesterday when we found him...
209
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:24,119
Don't say "dead" or "decapitated".
Stay away from D-words altogether.
210
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,879
- You witnessed it, so this way.
- I'm gonna be late.
211
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,605
Extremely late. You have to see a counsellor.
212
00:19:29,685 --> 00:19:32,962
- Everyone who saw the body must see one.
- I really don't...
213
00:19:33,045 --> 00:19:38,677
We all need help with our feelings or we
bottle them up. Then laxatives are involved.
214
00:19:38,765 --> 00:19:42,679
I believe if we all reach out to one another,
we can beat this thing.
215
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,520
I'm here if you need a hug. Not a real hug,
because there's no touching here.
216
00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:48,994
- We're sensitive to wrong touching.
- But I...
217
00:19:49,085 --> 00:19:52,715
No! You have to talk to a counsellor
and start the healing.
218
00:19:52,805 --> 00:19:55,638
- But, Mr Flutie, I don't...
- Heal!
219
00:19:59,325 --> 00:20:03,558
I don't know what to say.
One minute you're in your normal life,
220
00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:05,636
and then who's in the fridge?
221
00:20:05,725 --> 00:20:07,716
It gets to you, a thing like that.
222
00:20:08,245 --> 00:20:13,240
It was... Let's just say I haven't been able
to eat a thing since yesterday.
223
00:20:13,325 --> 00:20:18,798
I think I lost seven and a half ounces. Way
swifter than that diet that quack put me on.
224
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,719
Oh, I'm not saying we should kill a teacher
every day so I can lose weight.
225
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:27,356
But when tragedy strikes, we have to
look on the bright side. You know?
226
00:20:27,445 --> 00:20:31,234
Like how even used Mercedes
still have leather seats.
227
00:20:32,085 --> 00:20:35,680
Keep your eyes straight ahead
on your own test.
228
00:20:42,565 --> 00:20:46,354
I think you meant "pollination"
for number 14.
229
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,441
I'll see you here after school.
230
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:56,676
Oh, great. A pop quiz,
231
00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:14,158
No, I'm not saying she craned her neck.
We are talking full-on "Exorcist" twist.
232
00:21:14,245 --> 00:21:15,644
Ouch.
233
00:21:15,725 --> 00:21:19,764
How come Blayne, who worked with her
yesterday, isn't here today?
234
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,643
Inquiring minds wanna know.
235
00:21:21,725 --> 00:21:23,318
Any luck?
236
00:21:23,405 --> 00:21:27,239
I've not found a creature yet
that strikes terror in a vampire's heart.
237
00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:31,239
Look under "Things That Can
Turn Their Heads All The Way Around".
238
00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:34,636
- Nothing human can do that.
- No, nothing human.
239
00:21:34,725 --> 00:21:37,478
But there are some insects that can.
240
00:21:37,565 --> 00:21:40,398
Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her.
241
00:21:41,085 --> 00:21:43,884
- What are you going to do?
- My homework.
242
00:21:50,285 --> 00:21:52,276
Where are the books on bugs?
243
00:21:57,645 --> 00:21:59,556
- Hi.
- on, hi.
244
00:21:59,645 --> 00:22:02,364
I was just grabbing a snack.
Can I fix you something?
245
00:22:02,445 --> 00:22:06,154
No, thanks. I never eat
when I'm making egg sacs.
246
00:22:06,245 --> 00:22:09,044
- If this were real, the bugs would be...
- As big as you.
247
00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:12,083
Yeah. So, where do we start?
248
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:16,841
Oh, Xander,
I've done something really stupid.
249
00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:20,122
- I hope you can forgive me.
- Forgiveness is my middle name.
250
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:25,120
Actually, it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it
if you'd guard that secret with your life.
251
00:22:25,205 --> 00:22:30,598
I have a teachers' conference in half an hour
and I left the paint and paper-mâché at home.
252
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:35,315
I don't suppose you'd like to come
to my place tonight to work on it?
253
00:22:36,685 --> 00:22:39,484
Come to, uh... your place?
254
00:22:41,765 --> 00:22:43,358
Seven thirty?
255
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,436
Here's my address.
256
00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:51,644
- I'll see you tonight.
- Yeah.
257
00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:58,916
Ooh, yes!
258
00:23:17,885 --> 00:23:19,683
Dig this.
259
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:24,475
"The praying mantis can rotate its head 180°
while waiting for its next meal to walk by."
260
00:23:27,685 --> 00:23:29,995
Well, come on, guys. Hah!
261
00:23:30,085 --> 00:23:33,203
Well, Miss French is sort of big for a bug.
262
00:23:33,285 --> 00:23:36,038
And she is, by and large, woman-shaped.
263
00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:40,722
OK. Factoid one: only the praying mantis
can rotate its head like that.
264
00:23:40,805 --> 00:23:44,002
Factoid two: a whacked-out vampire
is scared to death of her.
265
00:23:44,085 --> 00:23:47,077
Factoid three:
her fashion sense screams predator.
266
00:23:47,165 --> 00:23:49,236
- It's the shoulder pads!
- Exactly.
267
00:23:49,325 --> 00:23:53,000
Then she's either a shape-shifter
or a perception-distorter.
268
00:23:53,085 --> 00:23:56,237
Half a mo. I had a chum at Oxford. Carlyle.
269
00:23:56,325 --> 00:23:58,919
Advanced degrees
in entomology and mythology.
270
00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:01,645
- Entomo... who?
- Bugs and fairy tales.
271
00:24:01,725 --> 00:24:02,920
I knew that.
272
00:24:03,445 --> 00:24:08,042
If I recall correctly, Carlyle, before
he went mad, claimed there was a beast...
273
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,116
Buffy, 911.
274
00:24:10,205 --> 00:24:12,765
Blayne's mom told the school
he never came home.
275
00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:15,234
- The boy who worked with Miss French?
- Yeah.
276
00:24:15,325 --> 00:24:19,239
If Miss French is responsible for
Xander's supposed to be helping her.
277
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:21,316
He's got a crush on a giant insect!
278
00:24:21,405 --> 00:24:25,160
OK, I'll warn him. But I need you
to hack on to the Coroner's Office.
279
00:24:25,245 --> 00:24:28,397
- What are we looking for?
- Autopsy on Dr Gregory.
280
00:24:28,485 --> 00:24:32,080
There were these marks on his corpse.
I think they were teeth.
281
00:24:32,165 --> 00:24:36,443
And these cuddlies should
definitely be brushing after every meal.
282
00:24:37,365 --> 00:24:39,641
What were you saying about a beast?
283
00:24:39,725 --> 00:24:43,684
Oh, yeah. I just need to make
one transatlantic telephone call.
284
00:24:44,685 --> 00:24:50,442
The computer invasion Willow's performing
on the Coroner's Office is entirely legal?
285
00:24:50,525 --> 00:24:52,994
- Of course.
- Right.
286
00:24:53,085 --> 00:24:56,555
Wasn't here, didn't see it,
couldn't have stopped you.
287
00:24:57,005 --> 00:24:58,996
Good idea.
288
00:25:01,645 --> 00:25:03,636
- Hey.
- Hey.
289
00:25:03,725 --> 00:25:06,035
So how'd it go with Miss French?
290
00:25:06,125 --> 00:25:10,562
Oh, it's demanding being her
absolute favourite, but I'll muddle through.
291
00:25:10,645 --> 00:25:14,525
- Xander, she's not what she seems.
- I know. She's so much more.
292
00:25:14,605 --> 00:25:20,476
OK, I have to tell you something about her
and I'm gonna need you to really listen, OK?
293
00:25:20,565 --> 00:25:21,999
OK.
294
00:25:22,085 --> 00:25:26,636
- I don't think she's human.
- I see. So if she's not human, she's...
295
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,557
Technically a big bug.
296
00:25:29,365 --> 00:25:33,279
- This sounds weird. I'm aware of that.
- It doesn't. I understand.
297
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,834
- I've met someone and you're jealous.
- What?
298
00:25:35,925 --> 00:25:39,555
There's nothing I can do.
There's a chemical thing between us.
299
00:25:39,645 --> 00:25:44,958
I know. I read about it. It's a pheromone.
It's a chemical attractant insects give off.
300
00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:47,480
She's not an insect! She's a woman, OK?
301
00:25:47,565 --> 00:25:51,718
And, hard as that may be for you to conceive,
an actual woman finds me attractive.
302
00:25:51,805 --> 00:25:54,194
OK, it's no mystery guy handing out jackets.
303
00:25:54,285 --> 00:25:57,880
And while we're on the subject,
what kind of a girly name is Angel?
304
00:25:57,965 --> 00:26:01,162
- What does that have to do...
- Nothing! It just bugs me.
305
00:26:01,245 --> 00:26:03,236
Look, I really gotta...
306
00:26:23,365 --> 00:26:25,561
Hi. Come on in.
307
00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:28,676
Should I change? Is this too...
308
00:26:28,765 --> 00:26:33,157
No! No. It's the most beautiful chest...
dress I've ever seen.
309
00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:36,041
Thank you. That's sweet.
310
00:26:36,605 --> 00:26:38,403
Martini?
311
00:26:40,805 --> 00:26:43,399
I'm sorry. Would you like something else?
312
00:26:44,605 --> 00:26:48,075
I just need to relax a little.
I'm kind of nervous around you.
313
00:26:49,045 --> 00:26:51,161
You're probably cool as a cucumber.
314
00:26:51,965 --> 00:26:55,117
I like cucumbers,
like in that Greek salad with yoghurt.
315
00:26:55,205 --> 00:27:00,120
You like Greek food? I'm exempting
schwarma, of course. It's a big meat hive.
316
00:27:07,165 --> 00:27:08,564
Hello!
317
00:27:08,885 --> 00:27:10,876
Cheers.
318
00:27:12,525 --> 00:27:14,801
Can I ask you a personal question?
319
00:27:20,445 --> 00:27:22,834
Have you ever been with a woman before?
320
00:27:23,325 --> 00:27:25,919
You mean like in, uh... the same room?
321
00:27:26,525 --> 00:27:28,516
You know what I mean.
322
00:27:28,925 --> 00:27:32,202
Oh, that. Well, let me think.
323
00:27:33,045 --> 00:27:35,036
Yeah, there was several.
324
00:27:35,805 --> 00:27:39,002
I mean, and... uh, quite a few times.
325
00:27:40,165 --> 00:27:43,635
And then there was, Oh, she was incredibly...
326
00:27:44,605 --> 00:27:47,484
- No. Uh-uh.
- I know.
327
00:27:47,845 --> 00:27:50,155
- I can tell.
- You can?
328
00:27:50,245 --> 00:27:52,043
Oh, I like it.
329
00:27:52,405 --> 00:27:55,124
You might say I need it.
330
00:27:55,205 --> 00:27:59,438
- Oh, well, needs should definitely be met
- Somebody help me!
331
00:27:59,525 --> 00:28:02,881
- As long as it doesn't require ointments or...
- I'm down here!
332
00:28:02,965 --> 00:28:04,842
- Do you hear?
- No.
333
00:28:04,925 --> 00:28:08,236
- It sounds like someone crying.
- I don't hear anything.
334
00:28:08,325 --> 00:28:11,397
Your hands are so hot!
335
00:28:12,085 --> 00:28:13,883
Oh, you hurt your hand.
336
00:28:18,325 --> 00:28:20,475
Buffy.
337
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:22,556
I love Buffy.
338
00:28:23,165 --> 00:28:26,954
- Wow. So that's a martini, huh?
- Mm-hm.
339
00:28:27,605 --> 00:28:29,596
Do you hear?
340
00:28:29,685 --> 00:28:32,518
Would you like to touch me
with those hands?
341
00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:37,161
Your hands are
342
00:28:37,965 --> 00:28:40,400
really serrated.
343
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,195
Oh, wow, that martini. I...
344
00:28:43,285 --> 00:28:45,754
really think I have to...
345
00:29:32,405 --> 00:29:34,999
Miss French?
346
00:29:35,805 --> 00:29:38,001
Please, call me Natalie.
347
00:29:40,045 --> 00:29:42,924
Madam, I don't know what time it is,
nor do I care!
348
00:29:43,005 --> 00:29:47,317
Unlock his cell and bring him to the phone!
This is a matter of life and death!
349
00:29:48,445 --> 00:29:53,884
Got it. Coroner's report
complete with - yuck - colour pictures.
350
00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:59,001
They are teeth marks, which match perfectly
the one insect that nips off its prey's head.
351
00:29:59,085 --> 00:30:01,076
OK, I don't like this.
352
00:30:01,165 --> 00:30:04,078
That's how they feed. Head first.
And how they mate.
353
00:30:04,165 --> 00:30:10,161
- She bites off the male's head while they're...
- No, no, no! See, Xander's... I like his head.
354
00:30:10,245 --> 00:30:13,795
It's where you find his eyes
and his hair and his adorable smile.
355
00:30:13,885 --> 00:30:17,640
Hey, hey, take it easy, Will.
Xander is not in any immediate danger.
356
00:30:17,725 --> 00:30:21,434
I saw him leave school.
He's probably safe at home right now.
357
00:30:28,245 --> 00:30:30,236
- Blayne!
- Oh, God.
358
00:30:30,325 --> 00:30:32,077
Are you all right?
359
00:30:32,165 --> 00:30:35,795
You gotta get me outta here.
She... she gets you and...
360
00:30:35,885 --> 00:30:38,320
- What? What does she do?
- She... she...
361
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:40,760
Oh, God. Oh, no.
362
00:30:40,845 --> 00:30:44,201
- Blayne, what does she do?
- She... she...
363
00:30:44,285 --> 00:30:46,720
She takes you out of the cage, ties you up
364
00:30:46,805 --> 00:30:53,518
and she starts movin' and throbbin'
and these eggs come shootin' out of her.
365
00:30:53,605 --> 00:30:55,562
- And then...
- What? Then what?
366
00:30:56,205 --> 00:30:58,401
She mates with you.
367
00:30:59,165 --> 00:31:01,361
- She...?
- That's not the worst part.
368
00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:03,641
- That's not?
- You seen her teeth?
369
00:31:03,725 --> 00:31:06,399
While she's, you know, in the middle of...
370
00:31:06,485 --> 00:31:08,476
I saw her do it!
371
00:31:09,045 --> 00:31:12,515
- I don't wanna die like that.
- Blayne. Blayne, chill.
372
00:31:12,605 --> 00:31:15,802
That's good. It's gonna be OK.
We'll get out of this.
373
00:31:15,885 --> 00:31:18,479
You got a plan? What is it?
374
00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:22,282
- Just, uh, let me perfect it.
- Oh, God.
375
00:31:22,365 --> 00:31:24,754
Oh, God. Oh, God.
376
00:31:26,165 --> 00:31:28,202
I understand, Carlyle.
377
00:31:28,285 --> 00:31:31,164
Yes, I'll take every precaution.
378
00:31:31,245 --> 00:31:35,000
Absolutely. It sounds exactly
like the creature you described.
379
00:31:35,085 --> 00:31:37,964
You were right all along, about everything.
380
00:31:39,285 --> 00:31:43,279
No, you weren't right about your mother
coming back as a Pekinese, but...
381
00:31:43,365 --> 00:31:46,881
Try to rest, old man. Yes. Ta-ta.
382
00:31:47,445 --> 00:31:48,844
Bye now.
383
00:31:49,165 --> 00:31:53,523
Dr Ferris Carlyle spent years
transcribing a lost pre-Germanic language.
384
00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:58,475
What he discovered he kept to himself, until
some boys were murdered in the Cotswolds.
385
00:31:58,565 --> 00:32:00,556
Then he went hunting for it.
386
00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:04,275
- "It" being...?
- He calls her a she-mantis.
387
00:32:04,365 --> 00:32:09,394
This type of creature, the kleptes-virgo
or virgin-thief, appears in many cultures.
388
00:32:09,485 --> 00:32:13,319
The Greek sirens, the Celtic sea maidens
who tore the living flesh from...
389
00:32:13,405 --> 00:32:16,045
Giles, while we're young.
390
00:32:16,125 --> 00:32:20,119
Well, basically the she-mantis
assumes the form of a beautiful woman...
391
00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:24,438
- ..and then lures virgins back to her nest.
- Virgins?
392
00:32:24,845 --> 00:32:28,839
Well, Xander's not a...
393
00:32:29,365 --> 00:32:32,562
- I mean, he's probably...
- Gonna die.
394
00:32:34,525 --> 00:32:38,883
OK, OK. So this thing is breeding
and we need to find it and snuff it.
395
00:32:38,965 --> 00:32:40,956
Any tips on the snuffing part?
396
00:32:41,045 --> 00:32:44,595
Carlyle recommends cleaving
all body parts with a sharp blade.
397
00:32:45,205 --> 00:32:49,597
- Slice and dice.
- It'd better be swift. This beast is deadly.
398
00:32:49,685 --> 00:32:52,325
Carlyle faced it and he's still around.
399
00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:55,682
Yes, in a straitjacket,
howling his innards out day and night.
400
00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:58,883
- OK, Admiral, way to inspire the troops.
- Sorry.
401
00:32:58,965 --> 00:33:04,802
Xander's not home. He told his mom he was
going to his teacher's house to do a project.
402
00:33:04,885 --> 00:33:07,604
Try to get her address
off the substitute rolls.
403
00:33:07,685 --> 00:33:10,074
And you need to record bat sonar, and fast.
404
00:33:10,165 --> 00:33:12,156
Bat sonar. Right. What?
405
00:33:12,245 --> 00:33:15,920
Bats eat them. A mantis hears sonar,
its nervous system goes kaplooie.
406
00:33:16,005 --> 00:33:18,315
- Where will I find...
- In the vid library.
407
00:33:18,405 --> 00:33:22,956
There are no books, but it's dark and musty.
You'll feel right at home. Go!
408
00:33:24,925 --> 00:33:26,916
I guess I'll handle the armoury.
409
00:33:28,085 --> 00:33:30,474
Don't do anything to make her mad.
410
00:33:35,445 --> 00:33:38,164
Hey, all right! Now I can get out of my cage!
411
00:33:38,245 --> 00:33:41,124
- Into yours. What'd you do that for?
- A weapon.
412
00:33:42,845 --> 00:33:44,836
I think you're gonna need it.
413
00:33:52,285 --> 00:33:55,357
- Getting the address.
- Great. Giles?
414
00:33:55,445 --> 00:33:59,325
Recording bat sonar is something
akin to having one's teeth drilled.
415
00:33:59,405 --> 00:34:01,396
Let's roll.
416
00:34:01,485 --> 00:34:05,115
According to Miss French's
personnel records, she was born in 1907.
417
00:34:05,205 --> 00:34:09,085
- She's, like, 90 years old.
- And extremely well-preserved.
418
00:34:09,485 --> 00:34:11,476
Oh, God!
419
00:34:13,445 --> 00:34:16,164
He broke the cage.
Take him, not me. Take him!
420
00:34:26,965 --> 00:34:29,878
What now?
We can't just kick the door down.
421
00:34:29,965 --> 00:34:32,161
Yeah, that would be wrong!
422
00:34:33,125 --> 00:34:35,162
Hello, dear. I thought I heard...
423
00:34:36,685 --> 00:34:40,474
Are you selling something?
Because I'd like to help you out,
424
00:34:40,565 --> 00:34:43,523
but, you see, I'm on a fixed income.
425
00:34:43,605 --> 00:34:46,677
- I'm looking for Miss French.
- I'm Miss French.
426
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,725
Natalie French,
the substitute biology teacher?
427
00:34:50,205 --> 00:34:52,321
Goodness, that's me!
428
00:34:52,405 --> 00:34:55,204
I taught for over 30 years.
429
00:34:55,285 --> 00:34:57,879
I retired in 1972.
430
00:34:58,565 --> 00:35:02,604
I can't believe it! She used Miss French's
records. She could be anywhere.
431
00:35:02,685 --> 00:35:06,121
No, dear. I'm right here.
432
00:35:06,445 --> 00:35:08,197
What's she doing?
433
00:35:08,285 --> 00:35:10,276
I think it's
434
00:35:11,125 --> 00:35:15,278
eeny, meany, miney
435
00:35:17,845 --> 00:35:19,836
Mo?
436
00:35:36,445 --> 00:35:38,436
I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
437
00:35:58,605 --> 00:36:01,916
- What do we do now?
- Prayer and supplication spring to mind.
438
00:36:02,005 --> 00:36:05,361
She walked past this park
with grocery bags. She lives here.
439
00:36:05,445 --> 00:36:08,403
- I'm gonna bang on doors.
- Wait! We do not have time.
440
00:36:08,485 --> 00:36:11,284
- We have to do something!
- We will.
441
00:36:18,805 --> 00:36:20,796
I won't be long.
442
00:36:22,205 --> 00:36:24,196
Buffy?
443
00:36:29,525 --> 00:36:32,802
- Oh, yeah, here it comes.
- What's happening?
444
00:36:32,885 --> 00:36:35,081
Like your eggs sunny-side up?
445
00:36:35,165 --> 00:36:37,759
Eggs? She's gonna lay some...
446
00:36:39,485 --> 00:36:46,118
"The California mantis lays her eggs
and then finds a mate to fertilise them."
447
00:36:47,765 --> 00:36:49,164
Come on, Buffy!
448
00:36:55,405 --> 00:36:57,919
- You!
- Me.
449
00:36:58,325 --> 00:37:00,635
Come on! Come on! Where is she?
450
00:37:00,725 --> 00:37:04,514
Which house is it?
I know you're afraid of her. I saw you!
451
00:37:04,605 --> 00:37:06,596
Come on, come on.
452
00:37:07,445 --> 00:37:10,915
What? What is it?
This is her, isn't it? This is her house.
453
00:37:11,005 --> 00:37:13,804
This is it! Better than radar!
454
00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:16,799
Buffy!
455
00:37:31,245 --> 00:37:33,236
Kiss me.
456
00:37:34,325 --> 00:37:36,316
- Kiss me.
- Can I say one thing?
457
00:37:36,405 --> 00:37:37,998
Help!
458
00:37:38,285 --> 00:37:39,878
Help!
459
00:37:42,565 --> 00:37:45,921
Uh, hey! Over here! Hello? In the cage!
460
00:37:46,645 --> 00:37:48,283
Let him go!
461
00:38:02,965 --> 00:38:05,036
- Help me!
- Get them out.
462
00:38:07,125 --> 00:38:09,116
Help me! Help me!
463
00:38:10,925 --> 00:38:13,485
Remember Dr Gregory?
You scarfed his head.
464
00:38:13,565 --> 00:38:16,717
He taught me: you do your homework,
you learn stuff.
465
00:38:16,805 --> 00:38:19,923
Like what happens to your nervous system
when you hear this.
466
00:38:20,005 --> 00:38:21,996
"It's important to file... "
467
00:38:22,085 --> 00:38:24,315
- Giles!
- It's the wrong side!
468
00:38:52,445 --> 00:38:55,722
Bat sonar makes your
whole nervous system go to hell.
469
00:38:55,805 --> 00:38:57,603
You can go there with it.
470
00:39:21,845 --> 00:39:25,679
- Well, I'd say it's deceased.
- And dissected.
471
00:39:25,765 --> 00:39:28,154
- You OK?
- Yeah.
472
00:39:28,245 --> 00:39:32,842
Just for the record, you were right.
I'm an idiot, and God bless you.
473
00:39:35,085 --> 00:39:37,804
- And thank you guys, too.
- Yeah, really.
474
00:39:37,885 --> 00:39:40,479
- Pleasure.
- I'm really glad you're OK.
475
00:39:40,565 --> 00:39:43,557
It's so unfair how she only went after virgins.
476
00:39:45,405 --> 00:39:46,998
What?
477
00:39:47,085 --> 00:39:51,841
I mean, here you guys are, doing the right
thing, when a lot of other boys your age...
478
00:39:51,925 --> 00:39:54,075
Flag down on that play. I am not...
479
00:39:54,165 --> 00:39:58,124
See, that's the she-mantis's modus operandi.
She only preys on the pure.
480
00:39:58,205 --> 00:40:01,277
Isn't this a perfect ending
to a wonderful day!
481
00:40:01,365 --> 00:40:05,996
My dad's a lawyer. Anybody repeats this
to anybody is gonna face a lawsuit.
482
00:40:06,085 --> 00:40:07,883
Blayne, shut up!
483
00:40:08,645 --> 00:40:12,843
I don't think it's bad. I think it's really sweet.
484
00:40:12,925 --> 00:40:15,963
It's certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again.
485
00:40:43,725 --> 00:40:49,164
I heard a rumour there was one less vampire
walking round making a nuisance of himself.
486
00:40:49,845 --> 00:40:53,281
There is. I guess
I should thank you for the tip.
487
00:40:53,365 --> 00:40:55,163
The pleasure's mine.
488
00:40:55,245 --> 00:40:58,875
Of course, it would be easier
if I knew how to get in touch with you.
489
00:40:58,965 --> 00:41:00,763
I'll be around.
490
00:41:00,845 --> 00:41:02,722
Or who you were.
491
00:41:06,405 --> 00:41:09,397
Well, anyway, you can have your jacket back.
492
00:41:11,085 --> 00:41:13,076
It looks better on you.
493
00:41:20,605 --> 00:41:22,596
Oh, boy.
494
00:41:22,685 --> 00:41:26,076
All midterm papers
will be exactly six pages long.
495
00:41:26,165 --> 00:41:28,634
No more, no less.
496
00:41:28,725 --> 00:41:32,764
One third of your grade
will be dependent on those papers.
497
00:41:32,845 --> 00:41:35,644
No more, no less.
498
00:42:22,485 --> 00:42:25,921
Visiontext Subtitles: Natasha Cohn
499
00:42:56,205 --> 00:42:58,401
Urgh! Argh!
500
00:42:58,485 --> 00:43:00,715
ENGLISH