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My name is Mary Alice Young.

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When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article

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about the unusual day I had last week.

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Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life,

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but that all changed last thursday.

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Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.

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I made breakfast for my family.

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I performed my chores.

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I completed my projects.

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I ran my errands.

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In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day --

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quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.

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That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet

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and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.

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My body was discovered by my neighbor mrs. Martha Huber,

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who had been startled by a strange popping sound.

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Her curiosity aroused,

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mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.

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After some initial hesitation,

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she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.

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It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot.

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There's blood everywhere.

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Yes. You've got to send an ambulance. You've got to send one right now.

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And for a moment,

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mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,

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grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy...

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But only for a moment.

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If there was one thing mrs. Huber was known for,

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it was her ability to look on the bright side.

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I was laid to rest on a monday.

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After the funeral, all the residents of wisteria lane came to pay their respects.

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And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.

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Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.

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Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.

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Of course, she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder.

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She didn't have the time.

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But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant,

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her husband Tom had an idea.

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"Why not quit your job?

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"Kids do better with stay-at-home moms. It would be so much less stressful."

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But this was not the case.

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In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic,

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she was now forced to get her fried chicken from a fast-food restaurant.

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Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it,

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but she couldn't. She didn't have the time.

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- Stop it !
- But, mom!

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No,

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you are going to behave today.

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I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood.

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And just so you know how serious I am...

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what's that?

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Santa's cell phone number.

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How'd you get that?

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I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf,

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and if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa,

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and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.

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You willing to risk that?

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Okay. Let's get this over with.

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Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block,

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brought a spicy paella.

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Since her modeling days in New York,

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Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food...

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and rich men.

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Carlos, who worked in mergersnd acquisitions,

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proposed on their third date.

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Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes,

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but she soon discovered this happened

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every time Carlos closed the big deal.

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Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.

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However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.

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If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,

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I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.

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He let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible.

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Why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?

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Look, just work it into the conversation.

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There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.

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Why not?

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At the Donoghue party, everyone was talking mutual funds,

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and you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.

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I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.

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Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down, please?

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Absolutely. We wouldn't want them to think we're not happy.

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Bree van de Kamp, who lives next door,

84
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brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.

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Bree was known for her cooking,

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and for making her own clothes,

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and for doing her own gardening,

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and for reupholstering her own furniture.

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Yes, Bree's many talents were known throughout the neighborhood,

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and everyone on Wisteria lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother.

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Everyone, that is, except her own family.

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Paul. Zachary.

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Hello, mrs. Van De Kamp.

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Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.

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It was no trouble at all.

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Now, the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests,

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but the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary.

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It's got rolls, muffins, breakfast-type things.

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Thank you.

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Well, the least I could do is

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make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forward to in the morning.

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I know you're out of your minds with grief.

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Yes, we are.

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Of course, I will need the baskets back once you're done.

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Of course.

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Susan Mayer, who lives across the street,

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brought macaroni and cheese.

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Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni,

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saying it was the only thing she knew how to cook,

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and she rarely made it well.

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It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house.

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It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl's shirt.

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She burned it the night carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.

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A year had passed since the divorce.

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Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life,

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even one who would make fun of her cooking.

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Mom... why would someone kill themselves?

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Well... sometimes people are so unhappy,

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they think that's the only way they can solve their problems.

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But mrs. Young always seemed happy.

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Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they're totally different on the inside.

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Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend always smiling and says nice things,

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but deep down, you just know she's a bitch?

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I don't like that word, Julie.

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But, yeah, that's a great example.

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Hey, what's going on? Sorry I'm late.

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Hi, susan.

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Hey. So, what did Carl say when you confronted him?

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You'll love this. He said...

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"it doesn't mean anything. It was just sex."

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Ah, yes, page one of the philanderer's handbook.

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Yeah, and then he got this zen look on his face, and he said, "you know, Susan,

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most men live lives of quiet desperation."

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Please tell me you punched him.

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No, I said, "really? And what do most women lead

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lives of noisy fulfillment?"

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Hmm. Good for you.

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I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch.

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It's like my grandmother always said -- an erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

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Even the limp ones aren't that ethical.

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This is half the reason I joined the NRA.

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Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences,

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I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home

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with a loaded Smith & Wesson.

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Lynnie, Tom's always away on business. Do you ever worry he might?

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Oh, please, the man's gotten me pregnant three times in four years.

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I wish he was having sex with someone else.

148
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So, Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?

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I don't know.

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I'm sorry, you guys. I just...

151
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I just don't know how I'm going to survive this.

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Listen to me.

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We all have moments of desperation.

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But if we can face them head-on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are.

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Susan. I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on friday.

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He needs us to go through Mary Alice's closetand help pack up her things.

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He said he can't face doing it by himself.

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Sure. That's fine.

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Are you okay?

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Yeah.

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I'm just so angry.

162
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If Mary Alice was having problems,she should have come to us.

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She should have let us help her.

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What kind of problems could she have had?

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She was healthy, had a great home, a nice family.

166
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- Her life was...
- Our life.

167
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No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we'd have known.

168
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She lives 50 feet away, for god's sakes.

169
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Gabby, the woman killed herself.

170
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Something must have been going on.

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I wouldn't eat that if I were you.

172
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Why?

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I made it. Trust me.

174
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Hey, hey, do you -- do you have a death wish?

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No, I just refuse to believe that anybody cans crew up macaroni and cheese.

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Oh, my god.

177
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How did you -- it tastes like it's burned and undercooked.

178
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Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.

179
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Ha ha. Thanks.

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I'm Mike Delfino. I just started renting the simms house next door.

181
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Susan Mayer. I live across the street.

182
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Oh, yeah, mrs. Huber told me about you.

183
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Said you illustrate children's books.

184
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Yeah, I'm very big with the under-5 set.

185
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- What do you do?
- Plumber.

186
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So if you ever have a clog...

187
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or something.

188
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Now that everybody's seen that I brought something,

189
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I should probably just throw this out.

190
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Ease up, you little vampire.

191
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Lynette, I've been looking all over for you.

192
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Are you aware of what your sons are doing?

193
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,695
What are you doing? We are at a wake.

194
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,406
When we got here, you said we could go in the pool.

195
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I said you could go by the pool.

196
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Do you have your swimsuits on?

197
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Yeah, we put them under our clothes before we left.

198
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You three planned this? All right. That's it. Get out!

199
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- No!
- No?

200
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I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on.

201
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We want to swim, and you can't stop us!

202
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Get out, or I will get in this pool and just grab you. Get out!

203
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Get over here.

204
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Get -- get over here!

205
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All right, give me your arm. Get back --

206
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Move it! That's right! Get over here!

207
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,899
Paul, we have to leave now.

208
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Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

209
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Go.

210
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Lynette shouldn't have been so concerned about my husband.

211
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He had other things on his mind --

212
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things below the surface.

213
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The morning after my funeral,

214
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my friends and neighbors quietly went back to their busy, busy lives.

215
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While some did their cooking...

216
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and some did their cleaning...

217
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and some did their yoga...

218
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,984
others did their homework.

219
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,904
Hi.

220
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I'm Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard.

221
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,910
Oh, okay. Well, let's go around and get it.

222
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,913
Stay.

223
00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:32,289
His wife died a year ago.

224
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,583
He wanted to stay in L.A., but there were too many memories.

225
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,586
He's renting for tax purposes, but he hopes to buy a place real soon.

226
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,004
I can't believe you went over there.

227
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,714
Hey, I saw you both flirting at the wake.

228
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,591
You're obviously into each other.

229
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,718
Now that you know he's single, you can ask him out.

230
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,221
Julie, I like mr. Delfino, I do.

231
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I just, uh, I don't even know if I'm ready to start dating yet.

232
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Oh, you need to get back out there.

233
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,103
Come on. How long has it been since you've had sex?

234
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Are you mad that I asked you that?

235
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,109
No, I'm just trying to remember.

236
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I don't want to talk to you about my love life anymore. It weirds me out.

237
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I wouldn't have said anything. It's just...

238
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What?

239
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I heard dad's girlfriend ask if you'd dated anyone since the divorce,

240
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and dad said he doubted it.

241
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And then they both laughed.

242
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- Susan.
- Hi, Mike.

243
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,689
I brought you a little housewarming gift.

244
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:41,316
I probably should have brought something by earlier, but...

245
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,902
actually, you're the first in the neighborhood to stop by.

246
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Really?

247
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Susan knews he was lucky.

248
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,616
An eligible bachelor had moved onto wisteria lane,

249
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and she was the first to find out,

250
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,788
but she also knew that good news...

251
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,790
Travels quickly.

252
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:00,794
Edie Britt was the most predatory divorcée in a 5-block radius.

253
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:05,090
Her conquests were numerous...

254
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:09,720
varied...

255
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:13,891
and legendary.

256
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,686
Hi, Susan. I hope I'm not interrupting.

257
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:22,191
You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I'm Edie. Britt.

258
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:25,194
I live over there.

259
00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:28,113
Welcome to Wisteria lane.

260
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:31,116
Susan had met the enemy, and she was a slut.

261
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,994
Thank you. Ha ha. What's this?

262
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,997
Sausage putanesca. It's just something I threw together.

263
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,502
Well, thanks, Edie. Ha ha. That's great.

264
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,881
I'd invite you both in, but I was sort of in the middle of something.

265
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:51,220
And just like that, the race for Mike Delfino had begun.

266
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:57,017
For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie would remain friendly.

267
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,480
Oh, Mike. I heard you're a plumber?

268
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,316
But she was reminded that when it came to men...

269
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:07,319
do you think you could stop by later tonight and take a look at my pipes?

270
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,197
- Women don't fight fair.
- Sure.

271
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,616
Thanks.

272
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,915
Bye, Susan.

273
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,793
You can't order me around like I'm a child.

274
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:25,212
- Gabrielle.
- No. No, no, no. I'm not going.

275
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,714
It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives.

276
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,717
Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass.

277
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:34,179
Ha ha. I made over $200,000 doing business with him last year.

278
00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:37,391
If he wants to grab your ass, you let him.

279
00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:50,487
Mr. Solis. You scared me.

280
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:53,490
Why is that bush still there? You were supposed to dig it up last week.

281
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,616
I didn't have time last week.

282
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:57,619
I don't want to hear your excuses. Just take care of it.

283
00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:03,292
I really hate the way you talk to me.

284
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:06,086
And I really hate that I spend $15,000

285
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,589
on your diamond necklace that you couldn't live without,

286
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,716
but I'm learning to deal with it.

287
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:13,594
So can I tell Tanaka we'll be there tomorrow night?

288
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:16,597
John. We have bandage stop shelf in the kitchen.

289
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:20,809
Thanks, mrs. Solis.

290
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,397
Fine. I'll go.

291
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,400
But I'm keeping my back pressed against the wall the entire time.

292
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:33,488
See? Now this is what a marriage is all about -- compromise.

293
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:41,705
Is your finger okay?

294
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,583
Yeah, yeah, it's just a small cut.

295
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,586
Let me see.

296
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,312
Hmm. You know, mrs. Solis,

297
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:08,398
Um, I really like it when we hook up,

298
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,485
but, um, well, you know, I-I got to get my work done,

299
00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:14,488
and I can't afford to lose this job.

300
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,784
This table is hand-carved.

301
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,203
Carlos had it imported from Italy.

302
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,206
It cost him $23,000.

303
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,794
You want to do it on the table this time?

304
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,797
Absolutely.

305
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,397
Why can't we ever have normal soup?

306
00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:51,400
Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree.

307
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:54,611
Just once, couldn't we have a soup that people have heard of?

308
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:57,114
Like french onion or navy bean.

309
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:59,783
First of all, your father can't eat onions. He's deathly allergic.

310
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:02,786
And I won't even dignify your navy bean suggestion.

311
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,915
So... how's the osso buco?

312
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,293
It's okay.

313
00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:10,794
It's okay?

314
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,088
Andrew, I spent three hours cooking this meal.

315
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:17,092
How do you think it makes me feel when you say "it's okay" in that sullen tone?

316
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:20,804
Who asked you to spend three hours on dinner?

317
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:26,018
Excuse me?

318
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:28,103
Tim Harper's mom gets home from work,

319
00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:30,397
pops open a can of pork and beans,

320
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,191
and boom, they're eating. Everyone's happy.

321
00:20:32,191 --> 00:20:34,318
You'd rather I serve pork and beans?

322
00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:35,485
Apologize now. I am begging.

323
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,779
I'm saying, do you always have to serve cuisine?

324
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,406
Can't we ever just have food?

325
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,616
Are you doing drugs?

326
00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:41,491
What?

327
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,619
Change in behavior is one of the warning signs,

328
00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:46,580
and you have been as fresh as paint for the last six months.

329
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,416
That certainly would explain why you're always locked in the bathroom.

330
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,002
- Trust me, that is not what he is doing.
- Shut up.

331
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,505
Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right?

332
00:20:54,505 --> 00:20:57,508
You're the one always acting like she's running for mayor of Stepford.

333
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,385
Rex.

334
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:03,388
Seeing that you're the head of this household, I would really appreciate you saying something.

335
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,520
Pass the salt?

336
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,697
Three days after my funeral,

337
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,700
Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion --

338
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,411
indignation.

339
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:29,414
Tom, this is my fifth message, and you still haven't called me back.

340
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:34,294
Well, you must be having a lot of fun on your business trip. I can only imagine.

341
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,881
Well, guess what -- the kids and I want to have some fun, too,

342
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:39,716
so unless you call me back by noon,

343
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,385
we are getting on a plane and joining you.

344
00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:42,094
Mom!

345
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:45,097
Not now, honey. Mommy's threatening daddy.

346
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:48,183
Mom. No, I -- where are your brothers?

347
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:52,020
- Noodles.
- My favorite.

348
00:21:57,401 --> 00:21:58,986
Lynette Scavo?

349
00:21:58,986 --> 00:21:59,903
Crap.

350
00:21:59,903 --> 00:22:02,906
Natalie Klein. I don't believe it.

351
00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:05,993
Lynette. How long has it been?

352
00:22:05,993 --> 00:22:08,120
Years.

353
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,788
Uh, how are you? How's the firm?

354
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:12,791
Good. Everyone misses you.

355
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,918
Yeah. We all say if you hadn't quit,

356
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:16,587
you'd be running the place by now.

357
00:22:16,587 --> 00:22:19,590
Yeah, well...

358
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:22,718
So... how's domestic life?

359
00:22:23,886 --> 00:22:26,889
Don't you just love being a mom?

360
00:22:27,014 --> 00:22:30,017
And there it was -- the question that Lynette always dreaded.

361
00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:33,187
Well, to be honest...

362
00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,190
for those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable,

363
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,193
so Lynette responded as she always did.

364
00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:40,485
She lied.

365
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:43,488
It's the best job I've ever had.

366
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,210
You know what I don't get?

367
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,211
What?

368
00:22:57,211 --> 00:23:00,214
Why you married mr. Solis.

369
00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:07,679
Well... he promised to give me everything I've ever wanted.

370
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:10,098
And did he?

371
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:13,101
Yes.

372
00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:16,480
Then why aren't you happy?

373
00:23:16,897 --> 00:23:19,900
Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.

374
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:24,613
So do you love him?

375
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:26,490
I do.

376
00:23:26,490 --> 00:23:29,493
Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?

377
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:31,912
Because I don't want to wake up one morning

378
00:23:31,912 --> 00:23:34,915
with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.

379
00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,295
Hey, can I have a drag?

380
00:23:40,295 --> 00:23:42,214
Absolutely not.

381
00:23:42,214 --> 00:23:45,217
You are much too young to smoke.

382
00:23:47,886 --> 00:23:50,013
Ah. How would you feel about me using your child-support payments

383
00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,390
for plastic surgery?

384
00:23:51,390 --> 00:23:54,393
Stop being so nervous. You're just asking him out to dinner. It's no big deal.

385
00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:57,688
You're right.

386
00:23:57,688 --> 00:24:00,107
So is that your project for school?

387
00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:03,110
You know, when I was in fifth grade, I made the white house out of sugar cubes.

388
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,987
Stop stalling and go

389
00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:07,781
before mike figures out he can do better.

390
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:10,784
Tell me again why I fought for custody of you.

391
00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:13,912
You were using me to hurt dad.

392
00:24:13,912 --> 00:24:15,581
Oh, that's right.

393
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,084
Oh, god.

394
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,803
- Hi.
- Hey, Susan.

395
00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:33,182
- Are you busy?
- No, not at all. What's up?

396
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:36,393
Well, I -- I just, uh, was wondering if, um...

397
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,981
if there was any chance that you, uh...

398
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:46,695
I-I just wanted to ask if...

399
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:49,489
- Edie.
- Hey there, Susan.

400
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:50,490
What are you --

401
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:52,784
I was making ambrosia, and I made too much,

402
00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:55,787
so I thought I'd bring some over to mike.

403
00:24:56,205 --> 00:24:57,497
What's going on?

404
00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:00,501
Uh, Susan was just going to ask me something.

405
00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,299
I have a clog.

406
00:25:07,299 --> 00:25:09,885
- Excuse me?
- And you're a plumber, right?

407
00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:11,303
Yeah.

408
00:25:11,303 --> 00:25:13,096
The clog's in the pipe.

409
00:25:13,096 --> 00:25:15,516
Yeah, that's usually where they are.

410
00:25:15,516 --> 00:25:17,518
Well, I've got one.

411
00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:18,894
Oh, okay. Well, uh let me get my tools.

412
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:21,188
Now? You want to come over now?

413
00:25:21,188 --> 00:25:22,689
You have company.

414
00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:25,317
I don't mind.

415
00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:28,320
Yeah, just give me two minutes.

416
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:39,706
I'll be right over. That's it. Just stuff the hair down there.

417
00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:42,709
I stuffed it. It's not enough to clog it.

418
00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:47,214
Here. Okay, look. Put in this peanut butter

419
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:50,384
and this cooking oil.

420
00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:51,510
- Mom
- And these olives.

421
00:25:51,510 --> 00:25:54,513
Mom, I'm telling you, it's not working.

422
00:25:54,805 --> 00:25:57,599
Oh, god. That's him.

423
00:25:57,599 --> 00:26:00,602
How am I going to stop up the sink?

424
00:26:07,985 --> 00:26:10,195
Well, here's your problem.

425
00:26:10,195 --> 00:26:13,198
Looks like somebody stuffed a bunch of popsicle sticks down here.

426
00:26:14,116 --> 00:26:17,119
I've told julie a million times not to play in the kitchen.

427
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:20,706
Kids, you know?

428
00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:26,003
All right, I'll go put in your orders,

429
00:26:26,003 --> 00:26:28,881
and I'll be right back with your drinks and your plates for the salad bar.

430
00:26:28,881 --> 00:26:30,883
Thank you.

431
00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:33,886
Andrew, Danielle, napkins?

432
00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:37,306
They have video games.

433
00:26:37,306 --> 00:26:39,808
Could we go play until our food gets here?

434
00:26:39,808 --> 00:26:42,186
Andrew, this is family time.

435
00:26:42,186 --> 00:26:45,189
- I think that we should all
- Go ahead and play.

436
00:26:53,197 --> 00:26:56,200
I know that you think I'm angry about coming here, but I'm not.

437
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,410
You and the kids wanted a change of pace,

438
00:26:58,410 --> 00:27:01,413
something fun. I get it.

439
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,499
Probably we'll want something healthier tomorrow night, though.

440
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,502
I'm thinking about chicken Saltimbocca.

441
00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:09,505
I want a divorce.

442
00:27:11,381 --> 00:27:14,384
I just can't live in this --

443
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:17,804
this detergent commercial anymore.

444
00:27:19,014 --> 00:27:22,017
- The salad bar's right over there. Help yourself.
- Thank you.

445
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,483
Um, I think I'll go get your salad for you.

446
00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:43,997
Bree Van De Kamp.

447
00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,916
Oh. Hello, mrs. Huber.

448
00:27:45,916 --> 00:27:48,919
We didn't get a chance to talk at Mary Alice's wake.

449
00:27:49,002 --> 00:27:51,380
How are you doing?

450
00:27:51,380 --> 00:27:55,384
Bree longed to share the truth about her husband's painful betrayal,

451
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:57,219
but sadly for Bree,

452
00:27:57,219 --> 00:28:00,180
admitting defeat was not an option.

453
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:03,183
Great. Everything is just great.

454
00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:08,689
Okay, well, I got you the honey mustard dressing. The ranch looked just a little bit suspect.

455
00:28:19,199 --> 00:28:21,201
Are we going to talk about what I said?

456
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:23,787
If you think I'm going to discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place

457
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,707
where the restrooms are labeled "chicks" and "dudes,"

458
00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:29,710
you're out of your mind.

459
00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:31,587
What's in this?

460
00:28:31,587 --> 00:28:34,590
What do you mean, what's in this? It's salad.

461
00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:38,218
- With -- with onions?
- What?

462
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,887
You put onions in my salad.

463
00:28:39,887 --> 00:28:42,890
No, I didn't.

464
00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:48,520
Oh, wait.

465
00:28:55,194 --> 00:28:57,196
The sound that awakened my son

466
00:28:57,196 --> 00:28:59,907
was something he'd heard only once before,

467
00:28:59,907 --> 00:29:02,910
many years ago when he was quite young,

468
00:29:05,204 --> 00:29:08,207
but he recognized it instantly.

469
00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:18,091
It was the sound of a family secret.

470
00:29:35,484 --> 00:29:37,611
Seven days after my funeral,

471
00:29:37,611 --> 00:29:40,614
life on Wisteria lane finally returned to normal,

472
00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:45,410
which, for some of my friends...

473
00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,413
was unfortunate.

474
00:29:50,582 --> 00:29:51,708
Now what?

475
00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:54,711
Daddy's home!

476
00:29:57,089 --> 00:30:00,092
Hey, is anybody home?

477
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:03,887
I wasn't expecting you for a week.

478
00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:06,598
I have to go back to frisco in the morning,

479
00:30:06,598 --> 00:30:09,601
but I got your call. You sounded a little frazzled.

480
00:30:10,394 --> 00:30:12,980
Yeah. It's been a little rough.

481
00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,607
Daddy, did you bring us any presents?

482
00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:18,610
Oh, god, presents. Wait a minute let me see.

483
00:30:24,408 --> 00:30:26,493
But I'm not going to give it to you unless you promise me to go outside right now

484
00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:31,498
and practice throwing it for 20 minutes, okay? You promise?

485
00:30:32,583 --> 00:30:33,917
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Get out of here. Go.

486
00:30:33,917 --> 00:30:35,210
Who's open? Go out!

487
00:30:35,210 --> 00:30:37,504
Deeper! Deeper!

488
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:40,299
Touchdown!

489
00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:43,302
Oh, my god. Oh.

490
00:30:46,096 --> 00:30:49,099
Oh, you got to be kidding. I'm exhausted.

491
00:30:49,308 --> 00:30:51,685
I look terrible. I'm covered in peaches.

492
00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:54,688
That's all right, baby. I got to have you.

493
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,191
Well, is it okay if I just lie here?

494
00:30:57,191 --> 00:31:00,194
Absolutely.

495
00:31:02,321 --> 00:31:03,614
I love you.

496
00:31:03,614 --> 00:31:06,617
And I love you more.

497
00:31:07,701 --> 00:31:09,620
Oh, wait, I got to tell you, I was having trouble with swelling,

498
00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:12,581
so the doctor took me off the pill, so you're just going to have to put on a condom.

499
00:31:12,789 --> 00:31:15,792
Condom? What's the big deal? Let's risk it.

500
00:31:17,002 --> 00:31:20,005
- Let's risk it?
- Yeah.

501
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,183
I can't believe you tried to kill me.

502
00:31:31,183 --> 00:31:34,186
Yes, well, I feel badly about that.

503
00:31:34,186 --> 00:31:37,105
I told you, mrs. Huber came over, and I got distracted.

504
00:31:37,105 --> 00:31:38,190
It was a mistake.

505
00:31:38,190 --> 00:31:40,317
Since when do you make mistakes?

506
00:31:40,317 --> 00:31:41,485
What's that supposed to mean?

507
00:31:41,485 --> 00:31:45,489
It means I'm sick of you being so damn perfect all the time.

508
00:31:46,907 --> 00:31:49,910
I-I'm sick of the bizarre way your hair doesn't move.

509
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:53,413
I'm sick of you making our bed in the morning before I've even used the bathroom.

510
00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:57,584
You're this plastic suburban housewife

511
00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:59,211
with her pearls and her spatula

512
00:31:59,211 --> 00:32:02,214
who says things like "we owe the hendersons a dinner."

513
00:32:04,508 --> 00:32:07,511
Where's the woman I fell in love with...

514
00:32:08,804 --> 00:32:12,808
who used to burn the toast and drink milk out of the carton...

515
00:32:15,519 --> 00:32:18,480
and laugh?

516
00:32:19,815 --> 00:32:22,401
I need her.

517
00:32:22,401 --> 00:32:25,404
Not this cold, perfect thing you've become.

518
00:32:32,995 --> 00:32:35,998
These need water.

519
00:32:48,093 --> 00:32:51,096
Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five minutes,

520
00:32:51,805 --> 00:32:54,808
but he husband never knew,

521
00:32:55,017 --> 00:32:58,020
because when Bree finally emerged...

522
00:33:00,981 --> 00:33:03,984
she was perfect.

523
00:33:09,907 --> 00:33:11,700
I found my earrings. We can go now.

524
00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:14,286
Was John here today?

525
00:33:14,286 --> 00:33:16,205
Well, yeah.

526
00:33:16,205 --> 00:33:18,916
The lawn hasn't been mowed. I've had it.

527
00:33:18,916 --> 00:33:20,292
We're getting a real gardener.

528
00:33:20,292 --> 00:33:22,211
- Why?
- Are you deaf?

529
00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:24,379
I just said he's not doing his job.

530
00:33:24,379 --> 00:33:27,382
It dark. You just can't see that the lawn has been mowed.

531
00:33:27,382 --> 00:33:29,009
It hasn't been. Feel this grass.

532
00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:31,011
I'm not feeling the grass.

533
00:33:31,011 --> 00:33:34,014
Let's just get going. Come on. We're late.

534
00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:43,398
- Take care of it.
- Yes, sir.

535
00:33:48,195 --> 00:33:50,614
There's Tanaka.

536
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:52,491
Time for me to go into my dance.

537
00:33:52,491 --> 00:33:55,494
Good luck, sweetheart.

538
00:33:57,788 --> 00:34:00,707
Oh, excuse me. Ma'am? You see that man who just walked away?

539
00:34:00,707 --> 00:34:05,712
Can you make sure he has a drink in his hand all night long?

540
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,883
Yes, ma'am.

541
00:35:45,312 --> 00:35:46,688
Oh, mrs. Huber,how you doing?

542
00:35:46,688 --> 00:35:48,315
Not too well, I'm afraid.

543
00:35:48,315 --> 00:35:50,817
I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach.

544
00:35:50,817 --> 00:35:52,486
Oh, it's upset?

545
00:35:52,486 --> 00:35:55,405
Yeah. I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake.

546
00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,991
It's been running through me ever since.

547
00:35:57,991 --> 00:35:59,618
And I need to be at my best.

548
00:35:59,618 --> 00:36:02,579
Edie Bri's son is spending the night tonight.

549
00:36:02,579 --> 00:36:03,789
He's spending the night?

550
00:36:03,789 --> 00:36:06,792
Apparently, Edie is having a gentleman friend over for dinner,

551
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:10,796
and I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours,

552
00:36:10,879 --> 00:36:13,882
if you know what I mean.

553
00:36:14,383 --> 00:36:17,386
Oh, here's some antacid. Have you ever tried this?

554
00:36:18,804 --> 00:36:20,180
I can't believe it.

555
00:36:20,180 --> 00:36:24,184
This can't be happening. Mike can't like Edie better than me. He just can't.

556
00:36:24,184 --> 00:36:25,811
You don't know what's going on.

557
00:36:25,811 --> 00:36:28,814
Maybe they're just having dinner.

558
00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:32,317
You're right. They're doing it.

559
00:36:44,997 --> 00:36:46,498
Edie?

560
00:37:06,602 --> 00:37:08,312
Anybody home?

561
00:37:11,481 --> 00:37:14,484
I need to borrow sugar.

562
00:37:35,297 --> 00:37:38,300
And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to,

563
00:37:39,384 --> 00:37:42,387
the maybe of Mike Delfino, was gone forever.

564
00:37:45,891 --> 00:37:48,894
And despite the precariousness of her situation,

565
00:37:48,894 --> 00:37:51,897
Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.

566
00:38:18,715 --> 00:38:23,720
It didn't take Susan long to realize this was just not her night.

567
00:38:25,097 --> 00:38:28,100
Is somebody out there?

568
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:29,685
Oh, my god!

569
00:38:29,685 --> 00:38:30,602
That's smoke!

570
00:38:48,912 --> 00:38:50,998
...candles unattended in the den.

571
00:38:50,998 --> 00:38:54,001
Paramedics said she was lucky. She could have been killed.

572
00:38:54,793 --> 00:38:56,712
She ran out with nothing on.

573
00:38:56,712 --> 00:38:59,715
She was having sex with some guy when the fire started.

574
00:38:59,882 --> 00:39:01,008
What happened to him?

575
00:39:01,008 --> 00:39:04,011
He got smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital.

576
00:39:05,512 --> 00:39:08,390
Susan, are you all right? You look awful.

577
00:39:08,390 --> 00:39:10,392
I'm fine. I'm fine.

578
00:39:10,392 --> 00:39:14,396
I-I just, uh... feel really bad for Edie.

579
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:18,108
Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.

580
00:39:18,108 --> 00:39:20,110
Absolutely. She'll get through this.

581
00:39:20,110 --> 00:39:22,112
She'll find a way to survive.

582
00:39:22,112 --> 00:39:25,115
We all do.

583
00:39:27,492 --> 00:39:29,494
Come on.

584
00:39:47,012 --> 00:39:48,805
Wow, what happened?

585
00:39:48,805 --> 00:39:49,598
Mike.

586
00:39:49,598 --> 00:39:51,600
And suddenly, there he was,

587
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,019
like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

588
00:39:54,019 --> 00:39:56,980
I-I thought you were --

589
00:39:57,189 --> 00:39:58,190
Uh, where were you?

590
00:39:58,190 --> 00:40:01,193
I just got back from the movies. Edie had a fire, huh?

591
00:40:01,985 --> 00:40:03,487
Yeah.

592
00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:06,490
Yeah, but she's fine now.

593
00:40:07,199 --> 00:40:09,201
Everything's fine now.

594
00:40:09,201 --> 00:40:11,995
And just like that, Susan was happy.

595
00:40:11,995 --> 00:40:15,999
Life was suddenly full of... possibilities.

596
00:40:21,797 --> 00:40:24,800
Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.

597
00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:32,307
Hello? Hey, it's me.

598
00:40:32,307 --> 00:40:34,017
- Do you have anything yet?
- No.

599
00:40:34,017 --> 00:40:36,186
No, nothing yet, but don't worry.

600
00:40:36,186 --> 00:40:39,189
I'm definitely getting closer.

601
00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:48,615
I brought some champagne.

602
00:40:48,615 --> 00:40:51,410
I thought we should have a toast.

603
00:40:51,410 --> 00:40:54,413
The next day, my friends came together

604
00:40:54,413 --> 00:40:56,498
to pack away my clothes, my personal belongings,

605
00:40:56,498 --> 00:40:59,501
and what was left of my life.

606
00:41:00,794 --> 00:41:03,005
All right, ladies, lift 'em up.

607
00:41:03,005 --> 00:41:04,298
To Mary Alice --

608
00:41:04,298 --> 00:41:06,216
a good friend and neighbor.

609
00:41:06,216 --> 00:41:08,385
Wherever you are, we hope you've found peace.

610
00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:11,388
To Mary Alice.

611
00:41:18,103 --> 00:41:19,980
Let's get this show on the road.

612
00:41:19,980 --> 00:41:22,608
You guys check out Mary Alice's clothes?

613
00:41:22,608 --> 00:41:24,401
Size 8? Ha.

614
00:41:24,401 --> 00:41:26,612
She always told me she was a size 6.

615
00:41:26,612 --> 00:41:28,614
Guess we found the skeleton in her closet.

616
00:41:28,614 --> 00:41:30,199
Not quite, Gabrielle.

617
00:41:30,199 --> 00:41:31,116
Not quite.

618
00:41:31,116 --> 00:41:32,117
What's that?

619
00:41:32,117 --> 00:41:34,912
It's a letter addressed to Mary Alice.

620
00:41:34,912 --> 00:41:36,413
How ironic --

621
00:41:36,413 --> 00:41:39,082
to have something I tried so desperately to keep secret

622
00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:41,293
treated so casually.

623
00:41:41,293 --> 00:41:42,586
What are you doing? That's private.

624
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:45,589
It's open. What's the big deal?

625
00:41:52,513 --> 00:41:56,391
I know what you did. It makes me sick. I'm going to tell.

626
00:41:56,391 --> 00:41:57,601
What does this mean ?

627
00:41:57,601 --> 00:42:00,312
I don't know but check out the post mark.

628
00:42:00,312 --> 00:42:03,315
Oh my god! She got it the day she died.

629
00:42:03,899 --> 00:42:06,485
Do you think this is why she...

630
00:42:06,485 --> 00:42:08,820
I'm so sorry, girls.

631
00:42:08,820 --> 00:42:11,782
I never wanted you to be burdened with this.

632
00:42:13,992 --> 00:42:16,995
Mary Alice, what did you do ?

633
00:42:30,092 --> 00:42:35,097
Subtitles : Bigmac
Transcript: RaceMan
 www.forom.com