1 00:00:01,237 --> 00:00:06,027 To the dread rattling thunder, have I given fire 2 00:00:06,117 --> 00:00:09,951 and rifted Jove's stout oak with his own bolt. 3 00:00:11,477 --> 00:00:15,390 The strong-based promontory have I made shake. 4 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:19,946 And by the spurs plucked up the pine and cedar. 5 00:00:22,237 --> 00:00:26,789 Graves at my command have waked their sleepers. 6 00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:33,396 Op'd and let 'em forth by my so potent art. 7 00:00:35,278 --> 00:00:38,907 Here's one. What would you rather be? 8 00:00:39,798 --> 00:00:41,789 Is now the best time to do this? 9 00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:45,518 Right. Would you rather be you, 10 00:00:45,598 --> 00:00:49,750 with your face and your legs and the brain of a chimpanzee... 11 00:00:49,838 --> 00:00:51,237 Brilliant. 12 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,833 ...or would you rather be a chimpanzee, but with your brain? 13 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,111 I can't answer that. 14 00:00:57,198 --> 00:01:00,349 It's too inane, even for you. That's the worst one yet. 15 00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:05,551 ...and deeper than did ever plummet sound. 16 00:01:06,398 --> 00:01:08,548 I'll drown my book. 17 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:12,551 DIRECTOR: And cut! 18 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:13,992 Good. Very good. 19 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,355 DIRECTOR: Patrick, happy? 20 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,037 Okay, so we're... 21 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:27,074 Shop this shows fashion, download the "LookLive" app in iTunes 22 00:01:31,679 --> 00:01:32,668 Oh, for... 23 00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:35,589 - All right? - Yeah. 24 00:01:36,439 --> 00:01:40,318 - Now that is acting. - Yeah, I know what acting is, Greg. 25 00:01:40,399 --> 00:01:42,674 Well, you know what watching acting is. 26 00:01:42,919 --> 00:01:46,070 Actually, you can watch me later. I've got a line. 27 00:01:46,879 --> 00:01:50,952 "All's lost. To prayer, to prayer, all's lost." 28 00:01:51,039 --> 00:01:53,837 - That's embarrassing. - You don't know what it means, do you? 29 00:01:53,919 --> 00:01:55,990 - Not the way you did it, no. - But you don't know what it means? 30 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,435 - I don't care what it means so... - You've no idea? 31 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,592 No, because while you were at school swotting up on Shakespeare, 32 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,398 I was out living a real life, shagging birds. 33 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,789 You told me you didn't have sex till you were 22. 34 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,711 - Why are you joining in? - Interesting. 35 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:08,994 No, it's not. 36 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,594 You said your mum wouldn't let you bring girls home. 37 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,591 - Why are you still joining in? - The plot thickens. 38 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,433 The plot doesn't thicken because I could have been lying to her. 39 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,158 - Calm down! - Lf you were lying, 40 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:22,199 why did you say that you lost your virginity to a woman that looked like Ronnie Corbett? 41 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,033 And it's good night from me. 42 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,311 - Rubbish. - I've got to go. That's great. Good luck. 43 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,109 I hope you have better luck with the acting than you clearly have had with the ladies. 44 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,633 You don't know anything. 45 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,551 - See you later. - Bye. 46 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,398 I'd love to show him. 47 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,676 Don't worry. You will get off with another woman. 48 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:44,594 I mean my acting career! I get off with birds all the time. 49 00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:46,114 Sorry. 50 00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:48,476 Why did you tell him about the Ronnie Corbett woman? 51 00:02:48,561 --> 00:02:49,676 I don't know. 52 00:02:58,121 --> 00:02:59,554 PATRICK: Enter. 53 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,156 Oh, hi. I'm probably going to get fired for even being here. 54 00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:11,553 I'm an extra in this, but I'm an actor, really. 55 00:03:11,641 --> 00:03:15,077 And, well, I'm desperate and as I said, I'm really sorry but... 56 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,755 Oh, come on, don't apologise. Sit down. 57 00:03:17,841 --> 00:03:21,072 You're hustling. Acting is a noble profession but it's a tough one. 58 00:03:21,161 --> 00:03:23,277 So how are you getting yourself out there? 59 00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:26,638 Well, I'm just getting my face around in anything I can, 60 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:30,158 but, you know, I suppose I'm networking, but I've written a script. 61 00:03:30,322 --> 00:03:32,836 You see, writing, you see, that's the key. 62 00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:35,675 - I'm writing myself at the moment. - Right. 63 00:03:35,762 --> 00:03:39,721 You see, as actors, the only choice we have is yes or no. 64 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:44,034 Whereas if you're writing your own material, you're creating your own opportunities. 65 00:03:44,122 --> 00:03:45,760 Well, this is my thinking, yes. 66 00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:47,719 I'm writing this screenplay 67 00:03:47,802 --> 00:03:51,636 and I find the whole process absolutely exhilarating. 68 00:03:51,722 --> 00:03:54,077 What's yours about, if you don't mind me asking? 69 00:03:54,162 --> 00:03:55,834 How best to explain it? 70 00:03:55,922 --> 00:03:57,594 - You've seen me in X-Men? - Yes. 71 00:03:57,682 --> 00:03:59,832 The character I am, Professor Charles Xavier, 72 00:03:59,922 --> 00:04:03,961 if you remember, he can control things with the power of his mind. 73 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:06,158 - Yes. - Make people do things and see things. 74 00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:09,359 So I thought, "What if you could do that for real?" 75 00:04:09,442 --> 00:04:12,321 I mean, not in a comic book world but in the real world. 76 00:04:12,403 --> 00:04:15,076 - Oh, right. - So in my film I play a man 77 00:04:15,163 --> 00:04:19,156 - who controls the world with his mind. - Right. That's interesting. 78 00:04:19,243 --> 00:04:23,316 Yes. For instance, I'm walking along and I see this beautiful girl 79 00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:26,759 and I think I'd like to see her naked and so all her clothes fall off. 80 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:29,395 All her clothes fall off? 81 00:04:29,483 --> 00:04:32,475 Hm. Yes, and she's scrabbling around to get them back on again 82 00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,839 but even before she can get her knickers on, I've seen everything. 83 00:04:35,923 --> 00:04:37,879 You know, I've seen it all. 84 00:04:38,563 --> 00:04:41,839 - Okay. It's a comedy, is it? - No. 85 00:04:42,843 --> 00:04:46,233 It's about what would happen if these things were possible. 86 00:04:46,403 --> 00:04:49,520 - What's the story, though? What's the... - Well, I do other stuff. 87 00:04:49,603 --> 00:04:52,356 Like, I'm riding my bike in the park and this policewoman says, 88 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,594 "Oi! You can't ride your bike on the grass," and I go, "Oh, no?" 89 00:04:55,683 --> 00:04:57,402 And her uniform falls off. 90 00:04:57,484 --> 00:05:00,794 And she goes, "Ah!" and she's trying to cover up but I've seen everything. 91 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:04,923 Anyway, and I get on my bike, I ride off. On the grass. 92 00:05:06,844 --> 00:05:11,395 So, it's mainly you sort of going around seeing ladies' tits. 93 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:12,673 Mainly. 94 00:05:12,764 --> 00:05:15,722 And I do other stuff like, I go to the World Cup Final 95 00:05:15,804 --> 00:05:19,194 and it's Germany versus England and I wish that I were playing. 96 00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:21,639 And suddenly I am and I score the winning goal. 97 00:05:21,724 --> 00:05:24,955 They carry me into the dressing room and there's Rooney and Beckham 98 00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:27,604 - and then Posh Spice walks in and... - Her clothes fall off? 99 00:05:27,684 --> 00:05:28,912 - Instantly. - Sure. 100 00:05:29,004 --> 00:05:30,995 - She doesn't know what's happening. - No. 101 00:05:31,084 --> 00:05:33,154 - But I've seen... - Seen everything. 102 00:05:33,244 --> 00:05:34,757 Again. 103 00:05:35,764 --> 00:05:39,757 Good. Is there a narrative at all? Is there like a story in the film or is it just... 104 00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:44,316 - Well, I'm a sort of James Bond figure. - Right. 105 00:05:44,565 --> 00:05:47,841 And I have to go to Iraq to rescue these hostages. 106 00:05:47,925 --> 00:05:51,235 And I get there and I rescue them, but they're all women. 107 00:05:51,325 --> 00:05:54,203 And they're naked because their clothes had rotted off. 108 00:05:54,285 --> 00:05:57,880 But I get them into the helicopter and I'm flying the helicopter, 109 00:05:57,965 --> 00:06:01,275 but I can still sneak a look in the mirror and I can see everything. 110 00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:03,959 You know, one of them is bending over, two of them are kissing. 111 00:06:04,045 --> 00:06:07,003 - They've turned lesbian? - Because they'd been in the camp so long. 112 00:06:07,085 --> 00:06:10,634 It can happen. Well, good luck with that. I've just written a sitcom, 113 00:06:10,725 --> 00:06:13,637 but I wonder if you could give it to anyone you know, you know. 114 00:06:13,725 --> 00:06:15,124 - Yes. - In film or TV... 115 00:06:15,205 --> 00:06:17,036 - Is there any nudity in it? - Any... 116 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,922 - Any nudity in it? - Not really. 117 00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:21,235 - Oh. - Well, there could be. 118 00:06:21,325 --> 00:06:22,678 Men or women? 119 00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:24,843 - Either. - Oh. 120 00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,678 Well, just women. 121 00:06:27,606 --> 00:06:29,801 - Right. - I'd need to rewrite, but... 122 00:06:29,886 --> 00:06:33,481 in the meantime, if you could give it to anyone in TV or film or... 123 00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:36,034 Yes, definitely. I will make it so. 124 00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:41,435 You've seen Star Trek: The Next Generation? 125 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,916 - I haven't, no. - Your wife won't let you have it on? 126 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:48,597 - I'm not married. - Oh. Your girlfriend, then? 127 00:06:48,686 --> 00:06:51,075 I have no girlfriend. I live alone. 128 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:54,920 You're not married, you haven't got a girlfriend and you don't watch Star Trek? 129 00:06:56,006 --> 00:06:57,564 No. 130 00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:00,445 Good Lord. 131 00:07:01,326 --> 00:07:04,557 You're probably wondering why I called you in for an unscheduled meeting. 132 00:07:04,646 --> 00:07:08,400 - Got the wrong day? - No, not at all, no. These are exciting times. 133 00:07:08,486 --> 00:07:09,805 I know you've been busy. 134 00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:13,243 I've been busy as well generating a lot of heat about your sitcom script. 135 00:07:13,327 --> 00:07:14,555 - Really? - Yeah. 136 00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:17,844 Took the liberty of sending the script to a production company, Picard Productions. 137 00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:22,284 They sent it to the BBC comedy department, who got in touch, and there's a lot of buzz. 138 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:23,959 What, the BBC have called you? 139 00:07:24,047 --> 00:07:25,765 Yeah. They just say, "We love the script. 140 00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:29,157 "We'd like to get you in and have a meeting, a chat and brainstorm." 141 00:07:29,247 --> 00:07:32,159 - Brilliant. Who's the production company? - You wouldn't have heard of them. 142 00:07:32,247 --> 00:07:36,126 A little company called Picard Productions set up by Patrick Stewart. I sent it to them... 143 00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:38,926 - You sent it to Patrick Stewart? - "This is dynamite stuff..." 144 00:07:39,007 --> 00:07:40,599 - Recently? - About two months ago. 145 00:07:40,687 --> 00:07:43,645 No, you didn't. I gave it to him on set. 146 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,246 Even if I haven't done anything towards this... 147 00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:59,479 please can I still have my twelve-and-a-half percent? 148 00:07:59,568 --> 00:08:01,081 Please. 149 00:08:03,528 --> 00:08:06,088 - Yeah, why not? - Yeah? Thank you. 150 00:08:06,888 --> 00:08:09,004 I mean, that's sort of the way it's done so... 151 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,477 Have you thought about who could play the main character? 152 00:08:11,568 --> 00:08:13,524 - I'm playing the main character. - Really? Are you sure? 153 00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:17,317 You're a bit of a nobody. I'm not sure they'd cast a nobody in the main role. 154 00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:19,126 Well, we'd insist. 155 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,768 I think the obvious choice is right under your nose. Barry. 156 00:08:21,848 --> 00:08:24,408 Yeah. No offence, Shaun. I'm playing the lead character. 157 00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:26,285 Are you sure 'cause he's really versatile? 158 00:08:26,368 --> 00:08:28,598 - I'm sure he is. - I'm not sure what it is you can do. 159 00:08:28,688 --> 00:08:31,566 Barry can do all sorts. Do your serious. 160 00:08:31,648 --> 00:08:34,606 You do love me, Janine, you do. I know you do. 161 00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:37,725 - Yeah. Do your comical. - Pat, you've trodden on my foot! Get off! 162 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,844 - He's a singer as well. - # Mustang Sally # 163 00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,966 - Loud, isn't it? - He did a gig once without a microphone. 164 00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:44,482 There wasn't a microphone there. 165 00:08:44,569 --> 00:08:46,764 He turned up for this gig, there was no PA system, nothing. 166 00:08:46,849 --> 00:08:48,646 - Tell him. - They were going to cancel the gig. 167 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,845 I said, "You're having a laugh! I don't need a microphone. 168 00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:53,124 - "Microphones are for wimps." - He said microphones are for wimps. 169 00:08:53,209 --> 00:08:56,326 I belted it out, just like that, in front of what, 140-odd people. 170 00:08:56,409 --> 00:08:58,843 And they were really spread out because it was a thousand-seater venue. 171 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,363 Lot of empty seats, didn't faze him, just went for it. Go on, do it. 172 00:09:01,449 --> 00:09:04,247 # All you want to do is ride around Sally # 173 00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:07,082 - Sing it with me now! - # Ride, Sally, ride # 174 00:09:07,169 --> 00:09:09,444 - What are you doing? - Just having a little sing-song. 175 00:09:09,529 --> 00:09:12,407 I'm doing the lead in this, okay? I'm playing the lead character. 176 00:09:12,489 --> 00:09:14,366 That's it, I don't want to discuss it. 177 00:09:14,449 --> 00:09:15,848 - Are you sure? - Yes. 178 00:09:15,929 --> 00:09:18,807 I don't know... You've never struck me as a funny bloke. 179 00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:20,242 Sorry? 180 00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:23,048 You always come in here and you're really negative and a bit... 181 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,642 Doesn't that tell you something? 182 00:09:24,729 --> 00:09:27,197 I know what you're saying but I don't get Barry any work and he's happy. 183 00:09:27,289 --> 00:09:29,246 - Not entirely happy. - Calm down, mate. 184 00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:32,720 Giving it all this in front of a client. If you've got an issue, have a meeting with me. 185 00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:36,007 You've been hanging around with him too much, giving it this. 186 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,610 - Hi, hello. - Hi. 187 00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:50,126 - Lain Morris, Head of New Comedy. - I'm Andy. This is my agent. 188 00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,130 - Darren Lamb. Nice to meet you. - Hello. Nice to meet you. Good. 189 00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,246 - Okay, well, take a seat. - Thank you. 190 00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:03,443 Okay, we're just waiting for one more person. 191 00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:06,567 I want you to meet Damon Beesley. He's a producer here, 192 00:10:06,650 --> 00:10:09,847 but he's also a great writer and he's a script editor and I'd like to... 193 00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:11,921 (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) 194 00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:17,561 Room for a small one? Cheeky, you started without me. Not for the first time. 195 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,960 What's he been saying? It's all lies. 196 00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:22,087 Lucky for you, I haven't said anything at all. 197 00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:23,650 - Andy, this is Damon. - Hi. 198 00:10:23,731 --> 00:10:27,519 Oh, bloody hell, we're not worthy, we're not worthy. 199 00:10:27,611 --> 00:10:30,079 Je t'aime your script. I wet myself laughing. 200 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,004 At last, some real talent at the BBC. 201 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,968 - Cheers. - He's happy. 202 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,325 Where are we? 203 00:10:36,411 --> 00:10:39,209 I just wanted to find out where you see this project going. 204 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:40,883 - BBC 1. - No, I don't actually. 205 00:10:40,971 --> 00:10:42,689 - BBC 3? - No, BBC 2. 206 00:10:42,771 --> 00:10:45,239 I think that's just really good for comedy. 207 00:10:45,331 --> 00:10:47,845 I think if you come up with a new project on BBC 1, 208 00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:50,365 you've got to really water it down, you know? 209 00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:52,726 - I don't want a laughter track. - No laughs. 210 00:10:52,811 --> 00:10:55,006 - There'll be laughs. - There'll be big laughs. 211 00:10:55,091 --> 00:10:57,651 But I just want it to be... 212 00:10:57,731 --> 00:11:00,610 I don't want it to be a comedy aimed at people without a sense of humour. 213 00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:02,808 I want people to be able to think about it. 214 00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:05,486 I don't want it filmed in front of a live studio audience. 215 00:11:05,572 --> 00:11:08,564 Unless you guys disagree with that, in which case we can change all that. 216 00:11:08,652 --> 00:11:10,483 - Just do whatever you want to do. - No. 217 00:11:10,572 --> 00:11:12,528 No, there's no need to do that. 218 00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:15,763 What I would say, though, is because this is your first project, 219 00:11:15,852 --> 00:11:18,366 I would like you to initially write with someone else. 220 00:11:18,452 --> 00:11:20,090 - He will write with anyone. - I won't. 221 00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:23,084 He will not write with anyone, that's a deal breaker. 222 00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:25,208 No. I'd like to write it myself 223 00:11:25,292 --> 00:11:28,762 just because it's based on my own experiences, really. 224 00:11:28,852 --> 00:11:31,730 The character is based on a boss I used to work for. 225 00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:34,531 And I just generally think the best things are auteured. 226 00:11:35,932 --> 00:11:37,365 Turd? 227 00:11:39,492 --> 00:11:40,607 No? 228 00:11:43,052 --> 00:11:45,613 All right, I'm happy for you to write it yourself 229 00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:48,810 but I would feel happier getting Damon just to work with you as script editor. 230 00:11:48,893 --> 00:11:52,681 Someone to bounce ideas off, just tidy up the first script. I think it's a bit flabby. 231 00:11:52,773 --> 00:11:55,651 Yeah, it's just a bag of ideas at the moment, but yeah, fine. 232 00:11:55,733 --> 00:12:00,409 I think the best thing to move this forward is to get you two together in a little room. 233 00:12:00,493 --> 00:12:02,484 - Oh! - Shh! 234 00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:06,409 Inappropriate at a meeting at the BBC, that. 235 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,802 - Okay, that would be great. - Okay. 236 00:12:08,893 --> 00:12:12,647 Okay, let's talk cash because, as you know, this script is piping hot. 237 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,531 - So we're looking for big bucks. - We don't need to talk cash now. 238 00:12:15,613 --> 00:12:17,444 We need to talk a little bit about cash. 239 00:12:17,533 --> 00:12:21,162 Just get some money up front for, you know, supplies, pencils. 240 00:12:21,253 --> 00:12:24,131 - I could probably find you a computer. - You happy with a computer? 241 00:12:24,213 --> 00:12:26,488 - Yes. - He's happy with that. We'll go with that. 242 00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:27,767 Okay, good. 243 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:29,333 - You sure you're happy? - Yes. 244 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:30,927 - Thanks. - Great. 245 00:12:31,014 --> 00:12:33,289 - Thank you very much. - Nice to meet you. 246 00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:44,847 # Celebrate good times, come on # 247 00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:47,528 Did you get it? Oh, brilliant. 248 00:12:47,614 --> 00:12:49,286 - Oh, well done! - Oh, yes. 249 00:12:49,374 --> 00:12:50,648 Someone's celebrating. 250 00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:53,692 What, a wealthy old relative popped her clogs, has she? 251 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,492 No. So why am I celebrating? 252 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:58,611 Could be because of the TV show the BBC have just given me. 253 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:01,492 - TV show? - Yeah, pilot for a sitcom. So... 254 00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:03,929 - What sitcom? - The sitcom I wrote. 255 00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:06,926 - You're not funny. - Well, the BBC beg to differ. 256 00:13:07,014 --> 00:13:10,723 - What's it about? - It's about my old boss I used to work for. 257 00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:12,088 Write about what you know. 258 00:13:12,174 --> 00:13:17,124 I'd just like to say I've got something for you, just to say thanks for all the great times. 259 00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:20,252 Just a few crumbs from the table. Share the wealth. 260 00:13:20,335 --> 00:13:22,974 I am devastated, really, to be leaving you lot behind. 261 00:13:23,055 --> 00:13:25,285 We've had such great... Especially you, Julie. 262 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,764 - Lucy. - Whatever. Shouldn't you be in costume? 263 00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:29,732 - I am in costume. - Yeah? 264 00:13:29,815 --> 00:13:32,648 Why did we never... And you, will you please call me? 265 00:13:32,775 --> 00:13:36,165 - I haven't got your number. - Yeah, 079... (MUMBLING) 266 00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:38,689 - 07 what? - Listen up. 0793334... 267 00:13:38,775 --> 00:13:42,450 All the threes, put them all in otherwise it doesn't work. And in a particular order. 268 00:13:42,535 --> 00:13:43,968 - Get it off Julie... - Lucy. 269 00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:45,454 - Whatever. - I haven't got your number. 270 00:13:45,535 --> 00:13:47,253 - I'll text it to you. - You haven't got my number. 271 00:13:47,335 --> 00:13:49,929 I know, but I'll work it out. Then we'll all have it, won't we? 272 00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:53,724 Then we can arrange the camping trip we've always talked about. 273 00:13:53,815 --> 00:13:56,010 - Anyway, I'll see you later. - Yeah, okay. Bye. 274 00:13:56,095 --> 00:13:57,767 See you later, man. 275 00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:01,690 You all right? You look a bit pale. Could you get some rouge for Greg? 276 00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:04,006 - I'm fine. - You all right? You look a bit sick. 277 00:14:18,856 --> 00:14:20,448 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 278 00:14:33,496 --> 00:14:36,533 I think structurally, we're all higgledy-piggledy-pew 279 00:14:36,616 --> 00:14:40,450 and I think we can get to the boss coming in quicker and set him up straight away. 280 00:14:40,536 --> 00:14:44,211 Well, we could start with him actually walking in to work, in the first scene. 281 00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:46,652 He just actually comes in and that's when you see him. 282 00:14:46,737 --> 00:14:50,412 The real Ray used to come in to work every day without fail. 283 00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:52,453 He'd just walk up to someone and say something like, 284 00:14:52,537 --> 00:14:54,846 "Have you done those invoices?" And they'd go, "No." 285 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:58,327 And he'd go, "Is he having a laugh? Are you having a laugh?" 286 00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,487 (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 287 00:15:00,577 --> 00:15:04,286 Brilliant. We're having that. That's super, that's funny. Do it again. 288 00:15:04,377 --> 00:15:06,766 That's what he used to do, just go up to someone 289 00:15:06,857 --> 00:15:10,770 and go every time, "Is he having a laugh? Are you having a laugh?" 290 00:15:11,457 --> 00:15:13,493 That's great. That will be a catchphrase. 291 00:15:13,577 --> 00:15:16,011 - I'm not sure about catchphrases. - No, it'll be great. 292 00:15:16,097 --> 00:15:19,248 People can say it. "Is he having a laugh? Are you having a laugh?" 293 00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:22,215 - I just think catchphrases are too easy. - Are you having a laugh? 294 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,288 I think it could get a little bit annoying after a while. 295 00:15:24,377 --> 00:15:27,574 Do you fancy a coffee? I haven't had one in about 20 minutes. 296 00:15:27,657 --> 00:15:30,297 Shall I get one from upstairs or do you fancy one from Costa's? 297 00:15:30,378 --> 00:15:33,051 - It might take me a bit longer. - That one, then. 298 00:15:33,138 --> 00:15:35,606 Are you having a laugh? 299 00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:39,373 - Oh, hello. Can we help? - Hi. It's my friend Maggie. Come in. 300 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:41,813 - This is Damon. - Oh, you cow, I love your bag. 301 00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,047 Oh, thank you. 302 00:15:43,138 --> 00:15:45,174 I'm just off on a cappuccino run, do you want one? 303 00:15:45,258 --> 00:15:47,567 No, it's fine. I'm just here for a wee minute. 304 00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:50,650 Okay, well, lovely to meet you. See you again, hopefully. 305 00:15:50,738 --> 00:15:52,217 - Bye for now. - Bye. 306 00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:54,573 DAMON: Oi, Bowker, you poofter! 307 00:15:54,658 --> 00:15:57,252 - Welcome to our world. - Look at you. 308 00:15:57,338 --> 00:16:00,091 - Take a seat. Take a letter. - I will. 309 00:16:00,178 --> 00:16:01,850 (MAGGIE GIGGLES EXCITEDLY) 310 00:16:01,938 --> 00:16:04,816 - Are you well? - Yeah, well, you know. Got my health. 311 00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:07,498 - But listen, how's it going here? - He's doing my head in. 312 00:16:07,578 --> 00:16:08,977 - Who? - Who? 313 00:16:09,058 --> 00:16:12,334 Who? Who do you... The owner of this monstrosity. 314 00:16:12,618 --> 00:16:16,771 Quentin Crisp who just skipped down the corridor going, "I want a cappuccino." 315 00:16:16,859 --> 00:16:19,498 Oh, he's too gay, he's too gay. 316 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,969 - What do you mean? - No one needs to be that gay. 317 00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:25,653 - What do you mean he's too gay? - He's a cliché of a gay. 318 00:16:25,739 --> 00:16:30,210 If I was doing Give us A Clue and the clue came up "A gay bloke", I'd do him. 319 00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:33,894 - Unbelievable. - Well, that's just a wee bit homophobic. 320 00:16:33,979 --> 00:16:37,813 It's not homophobic. No, I don't care how much arse sex he has. 321 00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:40,174 But why does he have to be that camp? 322 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:42,489 Screaming and clapping. When does that happen? 323 00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:45,855 When do you suddenly think, "Well, I prefer a nice little saveloy 324 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:49,409 "to a battered cod so I'd better walk like this." 325 00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:51,774 - I liked him. - Of course you do. 326 00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:55,408 - Women like you love the gays. - What do you mean, women like me? 327 00:16:55,499 --> 00:16:57,694 Wrong side of 30, six out of ten for looks. 328 00:16:57,779 --> 00:17:00,247 You've got someone to go to the disco with, haven't you? 329 00:17:00,339 --> 00:17:03,252 And you walk in with him and you go, "No, I'm not sharking, I've got a bloke." 330 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:07,253 But if a bloke comes up that you fancy, you go, "Oh, him? He's just my gay friend." 331 00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:09,729 - Perfect. It's a safety net. - Six out of ten. 332 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:13,017 - Yeah. - Is that all I get? Six out of ten? 333 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:16,058 - I don't know... - Look me in the eye and say six out of ten. 334 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:18,290 Shall I look you in your wonky eye or your good eye? 335 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:21,452 I have got one eye a wee bit higher up than the other one. 336 00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:26,099 - See you. - Bye. 337 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:29,013 I was going to ask you, how are you getting on with Andy? 338 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:32,376 He's lovely, isn't he? He's very talented. Very funny script. 339 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,610 You've not run into any of his funny little ways? 340 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,578 - No. - Well, he can be quite odd sometimes. 341 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:40,333 I just wanted to let you know that he is like that with everybody. 342 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:43,776 - How do you mean? - Well, like noise. 343 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,771 He's got this thing about noise. 344 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:48,011 Like, I've seen him at a restaurant, somebody at the table nearby 345 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:51,252 is cutting their meat too loudly and he's getting himself all annoyed about it. 346 00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:54,174 Oh, note to self. Cut meat quietly. 347 00:17:54,261 --> 00:17:57,890 Yes. And you might find you might want to just tone it down a little bit. 348 00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:02,133 - Tone what down? - Well, you're quite camp, which is great, 349 00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:05,179 but I think maybe sometimes he thinks you're too gay. 350 00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:07,534 Did he say that? 351 00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:10,454 Yeah, but I mean, he wasn't being nasty about it. I just think... 352 00:18:10,541 --> 00:18:13,339 Oh, no. I've said the wrong thing. I shouldn't have, should I? 353 00:18:13,421 --> 00:18:15,616 No, no, I'm fine. I'm glad you told me. 354 00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:19,137 Oh, good. Thank God for that. I thought I'd put my foot in it by telling... 355 00:18:19,221 --> 00:18:20,734 - Not at all. - Okay. 356 00:18:20,821 --> 00:18:24,131 - Well, it was lovely to meet you. - Absolutely. Lovely to meet you. 357 00:18:24,221 --> 00:18:26,132 - See you again. - I'll take it on board. 358 00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:27,734 Bye. 359 00:18:35,502 --> 00:18:38,414 You have one message. Message one. 360 00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:39,651 (BEEP) 361 00:18:39,742 --> 00:18:43,735 Hello, dear. It's your daddy here, er... with your mummy. 362 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:47,178 - Erm... nothing important. - MUM: Oh, give it to me. 363 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:51,460 Hello, dear. Great news about Andy. We're so pleased for him. 364 00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:55,899 And it just got us thinking that maybe you should try and do something with your life. 365 00:18:56,022 --> 00:18:59,139 I mean, your dad and I aren't expecting anything spectacular. 366 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:02,100 We were just thinking maybe a wee job you could be proud of. 367 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:05,572 You know, we love you so much, we hate to think of you growing old 368 00:19:05,662 --> 00:19:09,450 and being poor and living in squalor and dying a spinster. 369 00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:12,136 So, just give us a call to put our minds at rest 370 00:19:12,222 --> 00:19:15,214 that you're not just frittering your life away, would you? Okay? 371 00:19:15,302 --> 00:19:18,932 And if things get any worse, you can always come back home. We've still got your room. 372 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:20,934 DAD: Well, it's sort of my study now. 373 00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:24,060 MUM: We could easily squeeze in a tiny wee single bed. 374 00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:26,657 All right then, give us a call, sweetheart. Bye for now. 375 00:19:26,743 --> 00:19:28,017 DAD: Bye dear. 376 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,172 Bye. 377 00:19:30,983 --> 00:19:32,780 (SIGHING) 378 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:38,137 Okay, great. Well, I love the changes. I think this is looking great. Well done. 379 00:19:38,223 --> 00:19:41,215 - Oh, thank you. - I think we're ready to move things forward. 380 00:19:41,303 --> 00:19:45,421 I'd like to shoot a non-broadcast pilot with a view to making a series. 381 00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:48,176 Oh! Okay, thank you. 382 00:19:48,263 --> 00:19:49,776 - All right. - Brilliant. 383 00:19:49,863 --> 00:19:52,502 So, are you happy with the way things have gone so far? 384 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:54,619 - Definitely. - You happy working with Damon? 385 00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:58,059 - Definitely. - No problems with the working relationship? 386 00:19:58,143 --> 00:20:00,782 - Nothing you want to discuss? - No. 387 00:20:00,863 --> 00:20:02,263 Okay. 388 00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:04,619 - I'm not too gay for you, then? - Damon. 389 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,855 I'm sorry. I said I wasn't going to say anything but he's lying through his teeth. 390 00:20:07,944 --> 00:20:09,696 Excuse me. 391 00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:15,375 Your friend, Maggie, is it? She told him what you said about him. 392 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,932 - What did I say about him? - That he's too gay. 393 00:20:18,024 --> 00:20:22,939 - Oh! No. She's an idiot. She's an idiot. - So you didn't say that? 394 00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:26,861 Yes, but he wasn't meant to hear it. 395 00:20:27,624 --> 00:20:31,583 It concerns me if you're so homophobic, you couldn't work with a gay person... 396 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,939 No, no, no, no, I'm not homophobic. 397 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,299 In fact, I actually said to her, 398 00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:40,463 I said, "I don't care how much arse sex he has... 399 00:20:40,544 --> 00:20:44,583 "he's just too..." What was it? I can't remember what I said. 400 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,813 You're aware that I'm gay? 401 00:20:49,905 --> 00:20:51,224 Didn't... 402 00:20:51,305 --> 00:20:54,138 Well, no, you didn't... And you don't make a song and dance. You don't go, 403 00:20:54,225 --> 00:20:56,136 "Ooh, hello! I'm..." 404 00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:58,341 - No, I didn't. - I'll stop you there. 405 00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,574 Go on. 406 00:20:59,665 --> 00:21:02,054 What concerns me is we've all got to work together 407 00:21:02,145 --> 00:21:03,976 and if this is where we are when we've only just started, 408 00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:06,101 where the hell are we going to be a month or so down the line? 409 00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:08,983 It won't be a problem because I'll just apologise to Damo. 410 00:21:09,065 --> 00:21:12,455 Everyone gets wound up with the people they work in close proximity with. 411 00:21:12,545 --> 00:21:14,422 Little things wind you up, so it doesn't matter. 412 00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:18,214 It's not a case of being straight or gay. It's my neuroses and I'll just, you know... 413 00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:21,024 Do you think you could put your hang-ups and your neuroses on hold? 414 00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:23,175 - Yes. - He won't be around for long. 415 00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,734 - What, AIDS? - Sorry? 416 00:21:27,665 --> 00:21:29,860 Is it AIDS? 417 00:21:29,985 --> 00:21:32,819 No. I mean the pilot will only take a couple of months. 418 00:21:32,906 --> 00:21:34,419 Oh, yeah. 419 00:21:34,506 --> 00:21:37,703 Right. Listen, talk to Damo, I'll talk to him. 420 00:21:37,826 --> 00:21:41,865 We'll see where we are and if we feel we can go forward with this project or not. 421 00:21:41,946 --> 00:21:45,143 We can... Okay, I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him now. 422 00:21:45,226 --> 00:21:47,057 - Okay, good. - Okay. 423 00:21:48,226 --> 00:21:50,694 - Okay, I'll go and talk to him. - All right, bye. 424 00:21:50,786 --> 00:21:53,141 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 425 00:21:53,226 --> 00:21:55,501 - Hello. - Hi. Do me a favour. Stay out of my business. 426 00:21:55,586 --> 00:21:58,180 - Andy, what? Come in. - I may have lost the pilot thanks to you. 427 00:21:58,266 --> 00:21:59,415 - Why? - Why? 428 00:21:59,506 --> 00:22:01,383 Because you stuck your nose in where it wasn't needed. 429 00:22:01,466 --> 00:22:03,900 Telling Damo I thought he was too gay. What were you thinking? 430 00:22:03,986 --> 00:22:06,705 I was thinking that you were stressed and I just wanted to help you. 431 00:22:06,786 --> 00:22:10,620 That's helping me, is it? I just can't believe your stupidity sometimes. 432 00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:13,539 Andy, don't be like this, I can't cope. I'm having a bad time at the moment. 433 00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:15,537 Sorry. What's a bad time for you? 434 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,935 Tie-dyed the wrong T-shirt? You lost a kooky broach? 435 00:22:18,026 --> 00:22:21,258 I was just about getting to where I wanted to be and you may have fucked it up. 436 00:22:21,347 --> 00:22:23,303 - I've been grovelling all day at the BBC. - What do you mean? 437 00:22:23,387 --> 00:22:25,901 I've got a meeting there at 4:00, they may pull the plug. 438 00:22:25,987 --> 00:22:28,455 Imagine if they pull the plug, how am I going to look you in the face again? 439 00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:30,219 - Do you want me to say something? - You're not listening. 440 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,140 I'm sorry, Andy. I don't know what you want me to say. 441 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:35,741 - I was just trying to help you. - I don't want you to help me anymore. 442 00:22:35,827 --> 00:22:39,581 I want you to stop living like a child, floating through life like everything's okay 443 00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:41,419 until it actually affects someone, okay? 444 00:22:41,507 --> 00:22:45,341 So really, my advice to you is, you've got to grow up. 445 00:22:46,827 --> 00:22:51,105 Clean up, just sort your own mess out before you get involved in my life, really. 446 00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:26,343 - Do you want to follow me? - Yeah. 447 00:23:31,748 --> 00:23:34,501 It's unfortunate we've ended up in this position, Andy. 448 00:23:34,588 --> 00:23:36,783 I'm not going to speak for Damon. 449 00:23:36,868 --> 00:23:38,904 Damon, come on. 450 00:23:38,988 --> 00:23:41,821 - Well, things were said that were very hurtful. - Yeah. 451 00:23:42,748 --> 00:23:44,704 But your apology means a lot to me. 452 00:23:44,788 --> 00:23:49,180 So, if you're happy to work with me, then I'd like to carry on working with you. 453 00:23:49,269 --> 00:23:51,180 Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. 454 00:23:51,269 --> 00:23:53,225 I'm such a huge fan of this project. 455 00:23:53,309 --> 00:23:55,823 - I'm a big fan of yours, so... - Great. 456 00:23:55,909 --> 00:23:57,342 - Happy? - Definitely. 457 00:23:57,429 --> 00:23:59,784 - Water under the bridge. - Wonderful. 458 00:24:00,269 --> 00:24:03,739 Okay, let's get some dates sorted and get the ball rolling on his project. 459 00:24:03,829 --> 00:24:06,707 - Yeah. - Come on, silly. Huggy Bears. 460 00:24:09,629 --> 00:24:11,028 DAMON: Now. 461 00:24:11,109 --> 00:24:12,224 Okay? 462 00:24:12,309 --> 00:24:13,503 - Do you want one? - No. 463 00:24:13,589 --> 00:24:16,342 - Just normal? Okay, brilliant. Okay, thanks. - Yes. 464 00:24:19,269 --> 00:24:20,782 Cheers. 465 00:24:57,870 --> 00:24:59,303 Cut. Great. 466 00:24:59,390 --> 00:25:00,948 Thank you. 467 00:25:09,710 --> 00:25:11,621 - See you. - See you. That's me done. 468 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:13,507 - Oh, I'll see you soon. - Yeah, bye. 469 00:25:14,510 --> 00:25:15,704 Maggie. 470 00:25:18,230 --> 00:25:19,630 - Hi. - You all right? 471 00:25:19,711 --> 00:25:21,269 Yeah. 472 00:25:21,351 --> 00:25:23,182 - And you? - Yeah. 473 00:25:23,951 --> 00:25:25,862 Here, look. 474 00:25:27,951 --> 00:25:29,270 Okay, now. 475 00:25:30,231 --> 00:25:31,630 PATRICK: Hello, Maggie. 476 00:25:31,711 --> 00:25:34,145 - Hello. - This is Patrick Stewart here. 477 00:25:34,231 --> 00:25:37,029 And the reason you're hearing my rich, sexy voice 478 00:25:37,111 --> 00:25:40,342 is that Andy is not man enough to apologise himself, 479 00:25:40,431 --> 00:25:42,342 even though he knows he's in the wrong. 480 00:25:42,431 --> 00:25:44,626 That's why he's asked me to do it for him. 481 00:25:45,311 --> 00:25:50,101 Please, look at his fat, expressionless face. He doesn't mean any of the things he said 482 00:25:50,191 --> 00:25:52,944 and he knows you don't have a malicious bone in your body 483 00:25:53,031 --> 00:25:55,465 - and were just trying to help. - Thank you. 484 00:25:56,511 --> 00:25:58,900 If you can find it in your heart to forgive him, 485 00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:02,825 then please... make it so. 486 00:26:05,552 --> 00:26:07,782 Have you seen Star Trek: The Next Generation? 487 00:26:07,912 --> 00:26:10,631 Er, no, I haven't, actually. 488 00:26:10,712 --> 00:26:13,943 Never mind. Incidentally, Maggie, are you an actress? 489 00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,421 Because I'm writing a film and I'd love you to be in it. 490 00:26:16,512 --> 00:26:18,821 Okay. No, she can't. Okay, thanks. 491 00:26:19,352 --> 00:26:20,546 Cheers. 492 00:26:20,632 --> 00:26:24,022 - What was that about a film? - You don't want any part of it, trust me. 493 00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:28,863 - Your hair looks really nice. - Shut your face. 494 00:26:28,952 --> 00:26:31,512 - What? It does. - Well, thanks. 495 00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:34,106 - The pilot's fine, by the way. - Thank God for that. 496 00:26:34,912 --> 00:26:37,301 I just wanted to let you know that I have taken on board 497 00:26:37,392 --> 00:26:40,509 all that stuff that you were saying about growing up. 498 00:26:40,592 --> 00:26:42,947 - Oh, don't please, shut up. - Well, I have. 499 00:26:43,032 --> 00:26:45,102 - Oh, don't. - Well, you know what I mean. 500 00:26:45,192 --> 00:26:47,342 - Well, I'm mortified. - No, I know, but you were right. 501 00:26:47,432 --> 00:26:50,345 I wasn't right. You're about the most grown-up person I know. 502 00:26:50,433 --> 00:26:53,630 - I'm sort of the only person you know. - You win by default. 503 00:26:54,513 --> 00:26:56,151 Correct. 504 00:26:57,393 --> 00:26:59,031 I'm really sorry. 505 00:26:59,713 --> 00:27:01,943 Can you let go of my hand, please? 506 00:27:05,353 --> 00:27:09,585 Of course. Aren't my hands lucky? 'Cause that would ruin everything, wouldn't it? 507 00:27:09,673 --> 00:27:12,506 - He's quite a nice one, though, isn't he? - He's fine. 508 00:27:12,593 --> 00:27:15,824 I've been working up to saying hello to him for the last couple of days. 509 00:27:15,913 --> 00:27:17,665 - Sure. - What do you think? 510 00:27:17,753 --> 00:27:19,106 - You know what I think. - What? 511 00:27:19,193 --> 00:27:21,104 I think you're a tart. 512 00:27:21,193 --> 00:27:22,865 Go on, then. 513 00:27:23,353 --> 00:27:25,071 - Work your magic. - Yeah, I will. 514 00:27:25,153 --> 00:27:26,381 I'll see you later, yeah? 515 00:27:26,473 --> 00:27:28,145 - See you. - See you. 516 00:27:36,994 --> 00:27:38,552 ANDY: That was quick. 517 00:27:38,634 --> 00:27:41,990 I couldn't think of anything witty to say. He was on the phone anyway. 518 00:27:43,114 --> 00:27:44,866 ANDY: What would you rather do... 519 00:27:44,954 --> 00:27:47,548 (MAGGIE LAUGHS) Go on, then. 520 00:27:47,634 --> 00:27:49,670 Wake up and your teeth have sort of fallen out, 521 00:27:49,754 --> 00:27:52,188 wake up and your hair's fallen out, 522 00:27:52,274 --> 00:27:56,153 or wake up and your toes have fallen off? 523 00:27:56,234 --> 00:27:57,826 (MAGGIE LAUGHING) 524 00:27:57,954 --> 00:28:00,468 Er... what, is my hair gone for good? 525 00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:07,231