1
00:00:07,951 --> 00:00:09,344
There it is.

2
00:00:09,369 --> 00:00:10,611
Valencia.

3
00:00:10,925 --> 00:00:12,300
How do you think this should go down?

4
00:00:12,325 --> 00:00:15,374
Do you think I should save the kingdom
and then rescue Madalena?

5
00:00:15,399 --> 00:00:17,153
Or do you think
I should rescue, then save?

6
00:00:17,178 --> 00:00:19,831
'Cause I just want it to have
a dramatic build, you know?

7
00:00:21,032 --> 00:00:22,421
I mean, either way,

8
00:00:22,446 --> 00:00:24,276
we're all gonna live happily ever after.

9
00:00:24,301 --> 00:00:25,235
Yep.

10
00:00:25,236 --> 00:00:27,382
I'm sure that's exactly how
it's going to be.

11
00:00:27,407 --> 00:00:28,958
Especially the living part.

12
00:00:28,983 --> 00:00:29,919
For you.

13
00:00:30,153 --> 00:00:32,150
No reason why you wouldn't keep on living.

14
00:00:32,175 --> 00:00:33,444
Your life.

15
00:00:34,269 --> 00:00:35,601
You know you're talking, right?

16
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:51,446
♪ I can't believe
we're al-l-mo-o-st the-e-e-re ♪

17
00:00:58,714 --> 00:01:04,422
♪ I can't believe he's al-l-mo-o-st here ♪

18
00:01:04,743 --> 00:01:06,236
Your little Valencian princess

19
00:01:06,261 --> 00:01:08,309
is leading Galavant right into my trap.

20
00:01:08,738 --> 00:01:10,850
He'll be here tonight as the sun has cast

21
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:12,452
its last shadow upon the earth

22
00:01:12,477 --> 00:01:16,393
and the crescent moon is risen
above the Eastern Ridge.

23
00:01:16,418 --> 00:01:18,016
So, like 9:00?

24
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,932
Yes, Gareth, he'll be here at 9:00.

25
00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:23,166
And I cannot wait!

26
00:01:23,191 --> 00:01:25,244
I will kill Galavant
in front of the queen,

27
00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:28,252
surprise her with the jewel,
and then finally bed

28
00:01:28,277 --> 00:01:30,833
the most delicate flower
in the seven realms.

29
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,937
Attention, donkey turds!

30
00:01:32,938 --> 00:01:34,902
Where is that pox-ridden
sack of deformities

31
00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:36,044
known as my hand maiden?

32
00:01:36,069 --> 00:01:37,330
My hair is a disaster.

33
00:01:37,845 --> 00:01:38,985
Gwynne?

34
00:01:39,775 --> 00:01:40,769
My hair!

35
00:01:40,794 --> 00:01:42,180
Forgive me, My Queen.

36
00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:45,817
Was that too much to ask?

37
00:01:47,922 --> 00:01:49,773
Just think about it, hmm?

38
00:01:50,413 --> 00:01:53,290
We could, uh, we could do
a picnic, you know?

39
00:01:53,315 --> 00:01:54,797
Something super cazh.

40
00:01:56,355 --> 00:01:58,336
For the hundredth time, no.

41
00:01:58,524 --> 00:02:02,267
Your mouth is saying no, but I can see
your rotten teeth through that smile.

42
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:03,738
Go on, you!

43
00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:06,521
She's going to be so surprised!

44
00:02:06,546 --> 00:02:08,714
No, she's not because you keep doing

45
00:02:08,739 --> 00:02:10,608
that stupid "evil king whisper" thing

46
00:02:10,609 --> 00:02:12,173
that everyone can hear.

47
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,978
- How about this?
- Lower.

48
00:02:13,955 --> 00:02:15,555
- How about this?
- Oh, please.

49
00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:17,277
Oh, come on. That was good.

50
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:18,859
For God's sakes, Gareth.
You're allowed to laugh.

51
00:02:18,884 --> 00:02:20,695
What are you two yabbering about?

52
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,100
Nothing, darling. Nothing going on.

53
00:02:23,319 --> 00:02:25,923
That's right. There is nothing going on.

54
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,292
I've been waiting for you
to find that jewel

55
00:02:28,293 --> 00:02:31,068
since we invaded this
wretched kingdom a year ago!

56
00:02:31,093 --> 00:02:34,460
Maddie, baby... chill.

57
00:02:34,608 --> 00:02:38,226
These things have a way
of... working themselves out.

58
00:02:38,507 --> 00:02:39,795
Why are you so calm?

59
00:02:40,022 --> 00:02:41,674
Normally when I yell at you,
you get tummy cramps

60
00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,024
and have to go poopy... your words.

61
00:02:44,579 --> 00:02:45,675
What can I say?

62
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:49,056
I'm sleeping well, exercising,
laying off the wheat.

63
00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:51,466
Just in a really good place right now.

64
00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:53,501
You're inept.

65
00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:55,975
You're all inept!

66
00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:58,513
I can't even look at any of you anymore.

67
00:03:04,069 --> 00:03:05,564
♪ My husband's a wimp ♪

68
00:03:05,589 --> 00:03:08,445
♪ His henchmen are simply useless ♪

69
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,761
♪ The servants and staff ♪

70
00:03:10,786 --> 00:03:14,142
♪ Are inbreeds and half-wits, too ♪

71
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:17,422
♪ Oh, God, how I need someone here ♪

72
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,043
♪ Willing to get things done here ♪

73
00:03:20,044 --> 00:03:23,580
♪ Someone who shares my point of view ♪

74
00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:25,132
♪ But who?! ♪

75
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:28,952
♪ It's you ♪

76
00:03:28,977 --> 00:03:31,922
♪ No one but you ♪

77
00:03:31,923 --> 00:03:34,773
♪ No one's as smart and hard of heart ♪

78
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,522
♪ And looks the part ♪

79
00:03:36,547 --> 00:03:37,783
♪ Like you ♪

80
00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:40,059
♪ Who'd pull off a coup d'etat like you ♪

81
00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:42,386
♪ While rockin' a push-up bra like you? ♪

82
00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:45,835
♪ Well, here's a clue, no one but you ♪

83
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,838
♪ You, You, You, You ♪
♪ No one but me ♪

84
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,172
♪ Nobody wheels and double-deals ♪

85
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,139
♪ In killer heels like me ♪

86
00:03:54,164 --> 00:03:56,380
♪ There's nobody who could rule like you ♪

87
00:03:56,381 --> 00:03:58,794
♪ While making her subjects
drool like you ♪

88
00:03:58,819 --> 00:04:01,006
♪ While tough to the core like you ♪

89
00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:05,015
♪ Let's face it,
who's more like you than you? ♪

90
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,367
♪ No one but you ♪

91
00:04:07,392 --> 00:04:09,626
♪ Who has the brains to break her chains ♪

92
00:04:09,627 --> 00:04:11,261
♪ And seize the reins? ♪

93
00:04:11,262 --> 00:04:12,478
♪ Yeah, you ♪

94
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,731
♪ It's been quite
the social climb for you ♪

95
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,116
♪ And, honey, at last it's time for you ♪

96
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:19,350
♪ So, answer the call for you ♪

97
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,690
♪ And go take it all for you ♪

98
00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:23,924
♪ Who else is going to? ♪

99
00:04:23,949 --> 00:04:27,648
♪ Yes, who? ♪
♪ No one ♪

100
00:04:27,673 --> 00:04:29,479
♪ But yo-o-o-u ♪

101
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,276
♪ You, You, You, You ♪
♪ You, You, You, You ♪

102
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:35,281
Get it, girl! You the queen!

103
00:04:35,306 --> 00:04:36,419
Go get 'em, girl!

104
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:44,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

105
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:48,617
Oh, sorry. I really had to pee.

106
00:04:48,642 --> 00:04:51,736
It takes so long to undo all
the laces on my riding pants.

107
00:04:52,298 --> 00:04:54,340
You know, someone should come up
with something

108
00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:56,542
around the crotch
that would just go "zip."

109
00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,744
You could do your business
and be done with it.

110
00:04:58,745 --> 00:05:01,616
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

111
00:05:01,641 --> 00:05:02,383
Tell him, Izzy.

112
00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:04,609
It's not a great idea, Sid.

113
00:05:04,634 --> 00:05:05,384
Are you sure?

114
00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:06,777
I really feel like I'm on to something.

115
00:05:06,802 --> 00:05:08,420
Can we just focus?

116
00:05:08,421 --> 00:05:10,088
We've got a castle to storm.

117
00:05:10,338 --> 00:05:12,891
The sun's almost perfect
for hero lighting.

118
00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:14,751
I should do some push-ups.

119
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,494
But wouldn't it be better
to storm the castle later?

120
00:05:18,892 --> 00:05:20,258
Ooh, how about on a Wednesday?

121
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:22,512
You never hear of anyone storming
a castle on a Wednesday.

122
00:05:22,537 --> 00:05:25,123
The thing is, is Wednesdays
are quite hard to rhyme with.

123
00:05:25,148 --> 00:05:26,880
And I'm pretty much 100% sure

124
00:05:26,905 --> 00:05:29,142
they're gonna write songs
about this one, so...

125
00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:30,527
Interlocking little teeth

126
00:05:30,552 --> 00:05:32,551
right in the front of your pants
that zip together.

127
00:05:32,576 --> 00:05:34,499
- Sid!
- You're embarrassing yourself.

128
00:05:35,609 --> 00:05:38,421
I mean, it just feels like
you're rushing it.

129
00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:41,508
If you took the time to think about it...

130
00:05:42,938 --> 00:05:45,170
You smell. Really bad.

131
00:05:45,195 --> 00:05:48,145
Princess, I'm a knight of the seven realms

132
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,767
about to ride into a battle so epic...

133
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:51,560
Oh, God, yeah.
Yeah, we should find a place.

134
00:05:51,561 --> 00:05:53,493
I need to wash up.

135
00:05:53,518 --> 00:05:54,596
Oh. Good.

136
00:05:54,597 --> 00:05:57,065
I thought I was having a bath.
This is a church.

137
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,216
This isn't <i> just</i> a church.

138
00:05:59,786 --> 00:06:02,725
It's the most famed and revered
monastery in Valencia.

139
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,778
♪ Bum ba-dum bum bum ♪

140
00:06:07,786 --> 00:06:10,717
♪ Welcome to our Abbey,
the best in the domain ♪

141
00:06:10,725 --> 00:06:13,293
♪ The order of our father
of perpetual refrain ♪

142
00:06:13,294 --> 00:06:14,916
♪ And we're the Monks ♪

143
00:06:15,635 --> 00:06:17,094
♪ Hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

144
00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:18,487
- Back story, please.
- ♪ Hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

145
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,645
Valencian Monks all take a vow of singing.

146
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,534
- Oh, bravo!  Kill me.
- ♪ Hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

147
00:06:22,559 --> 00:06:24,074
♪ Come in if you are weary ♪

148
00:06:24,099 --> 00:06:25,509
♪ There's food if you would dine ♪

149
00:06:25,534 --> 00:06:28,041
♪ Plus 31 varieties of sacramental wine ♪

150
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:29,385
♪ And we're the Monks ♪

151
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:31,956
♪ Hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

152
00:06:31,981 --> 00:06:34,515
♪ Hmmm ♪
♪ Bum ba-dum bum bum ♪

153
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:35,842
♪ I'm the smart one ♪

154
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,520
♪ Ahh, Hallelu ♪

155
00:06:37,545 --> 00:06:39,015
♪ I'm the cute one ♪

156
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,435
♪ Boopsy-doo ♪

157
00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:42,031
♪ I'm the shy one ♪

158
00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:43,295
♪ Peekaboo ♪

159
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,765
♪ And I'm the bad boy ♪

160
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:47,883
♪ But not so bad 'cause I'm a monk ♪

161
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,679
♪ Bless you, children ♪
♪ ooh ooh ooh-ooh ♪

162
00:06:50,704 --> 00:06:52,269
We seek shelter...

163
00:06:52,294 --> 00:06:55,152
Water for our horses,
and a bath for my friend.

164
00:06:55,177 --> 00:06:58,092
♪ We'll fetch the holy water
and holy soap, as well ♪

165
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,789
♪ 'Cause, holy Guacamole,
that one reeks to holy hell ♪

166
00:07:00,814 --> 00:07:02,451
♪ And we're the Monks ♪

167
00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,965
♪ Hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

168
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:05,961
♪ Ooh wee-ahh ♪

169
00:07:05,986 --> 00:07:08,848
♪ Jazz hands ♪

170
00:07:08,873 --> 00:07:09,780
♪ Yeah! ♪

171
00:07:10,303 --> 00:07:12,478
Can't we just have a normal adventure?

172
00:07:15,521 --> 00:07:17,935
Is there anyone available
to counsel a person

173
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,232
who might, through no fault of her own,

174
00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:22,832
be feeling guilty about a
fatal plot she's put into motion

175
00:07:22,857 --> 00:07:25,893
which could lead to the demise of someone
she's grown a little fond of?

176
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:29,204
Just nod yes or no.

177
00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:39,277
Where are the kitchen trolls?

178
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,158
Ah.

179
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:44,984
Hey, m'lady.

180
00:07:45,336 --> 00:07:48,066
Who do I have to disembowel
around here to get a cup of tea?

181
00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:50,238
Oh, a thousand apologies.

182
00:07:50,263 --> 00:07:52,922
I was busy preparing
for tonight's celebration.

183
00:07:53,602 --> 00:07:54,701
Celebration for what?

184
00:07:54,726 --> 00:07:56,682
Oh, I... I wouldn't know.

185
00:07:56,707 --> 00:07:57,833
I-I'm just trying to stay alive,

186
00:07:57,858 --> 00:08:01,099
and I find it helps
not to ask too many questions.

187
00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:08,202
You're close with the king, aren't you?

188
00:08:08,937 --> 00:08:12,694
Eh, I wouldn't call us close,
but we hang, yeah.

189
00:08:13,345 --> 00:08:17,153
And, um, you fancy Gwynne, my hand maiden.

190
00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:18,728
Sha'!

191
00:08:19,252 --> 00:08:23,815
Listen, I know Richard's
keeping something from me.

192
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,353
You find out what he has up his sleeve,

193
00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:30,389
and I will help you
get Gwynne into your bed.

194
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:31,606
Ooh.

195
00:08:31,903 --> 00:08:33,110
A generous offer, My Queen,

196
00:08:33,135 --> 00:08:36,195
but I'm not even sure
we could both fit into my bed.

197
00:08:37,924 --> 00:08:39,394
You sleep in the kitchen?

198
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:42,281
<i>Or...</i> Do I cook in my room?

199
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,816
Why do I even talk to poor people?

200
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,045
Do we have a deal?

201
00:08:48,016 --> 00:08:49,308
What the hell?

202
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,010
I need all the help I can get.

203
00:08:51,035 --> 00:08:52,818
I sleep in a freaking kitchen.

204
00:08:53,412 --> 00:08:54,354
Okay.

205
00:08:54,761 --> 00:08:56,729
The king is having a secret meeting

206
00:08:56,754 --> 00:08:59,382
where I'm to serve snacks
and a light refreshment

207
00:08:59,407 --> 00:09:01,364
as soon as the croaks of the frogs

208
00:09:01,389 --> 00:09:03,514
usher in the raven's last call.

209
00:09:03,935 --> 00:09:05,161
So, like 9:00?

210
00:09:05,302 --> 00:09:06,733
Yeah, 9:00.

211
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,025
Excellent.

212
00:09:08,588 --> 00:09:09,770
Take me there.

213
00:09:10,313 --> 00:09:11,676
Yes, m'lady.

214
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,978
And King Richard said
if I didn't bring the jewel

215
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,331
and Galavant back, he'd kill my parents.

216
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:18,310
So, I lied to Galavant

217
00:09:18,335 --> 00:09:20,189
and told him
that the queen still loved him.

218
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:22,751
He's walking into a trap of my own making!

219
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:24,383
What can I do?

220
00:09:25,643 --> 00:09:27,652
Break your vow, or I break your pipe.

221
00:09:30,597 --> 00:09:33,634
- ♪ Bum ba-dum bum bum bum ♪
- So, uh...

222
00:09:33,659 --> 00:09:34,694
♪ Bum ba-dum bum bum ♪

223
00:09:34,719 --> 00:09:38,472
So, basically, you made a deal
with the evil king,

224
00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:40,388
but that was before you fell
for the handsome knight...

225
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,923
Fell... fell for what? Fell for him?

226
00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:44,761
My child, if you argue,
I'm never gonna be able

227
00:09:44,786 --> 00:09:46,735
to make it back in time
for their big finish.

228
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,310
But I need your advice.

229
00:09:48,335 --> 00:09:49,998
I'm supposed to bring Galavant to the king

230
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,642
when the barking of the hounds
wakens the fairies in the evening

231
00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:55,207
so that they may begin
their nocturnal dance.

232
00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:57,107
So, like 9:00?

233
00:09:57,132 --> 00:09:58,752
Yeah. 9:00.

234
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:05,925
It's 9:03. Why am I the only one
who's ever on time?

235
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:10,055
There should be a standardized system

236
00:10:10,056 --> 00:10:12,590
based on the rotation of the earth

237
00:10:12,591 --> 00:10:15,617
in relation to its position
to the sun and the moon.

238
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,962
You sound like a witch.

239
00:10:18,646 --> 00:10:21,103
Regardless, it is very rude of Galavant

240
00:10:21,128 --> 00:10:22,741
to be late to his own killing.

241
00:10:23,202 --> 00:10:24,495
Galavant's coming?

242
00:10:25,171 --> 00:10:26,906
The king didn't give me a head count.

243
00:10:27,515 --> 00:10:29,746
Oh, I came up with the most<i> perfect</i> line

244
00:10:29,771 --> 00:10:30,816
for when I first see him.

245
00:10:30,841 --> 00:10:33,888
In my most intimidating voice,
I'm going to say,

246
00:10:33,913 --> 00:10:37,143
"Well, well, well"...

247
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:38,440
Nope. I'm gonna save it.

248
00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:41,068
Oh. Here we go.

249
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:45,497
Well, well...

250
00:10:46,659 --> 00:10:49,430
- Where the hell's Galavant?
- There's been a change in plans.

251
00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:52,246
You'll get the jewel
and set my parents free,

252
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:54,142
but Galavant stays alive.

253
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:55,466
I see.

254
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:58,165
How utterly predictable.

255
00:10:58,555 --> 00:11:01,420
The princess has fallen
for the noble knight.

256
00:11:01,445 --> 00:11:03,068
Of course she has.

257
00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:04,807
I can't let a guy like that live.

258
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,374
Well, then the deal is off.

259
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,201
You'll never see the jewel again.

260
00:11:09,084 --> 00:11:10,700
You're adorable.

261
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:12,052
No, my darling.

262
00:11:12,077 --> 00:11:14,989
You see, you will bring me Galavant

263
00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:20,069
<i>and</i> the jewel or else
you'll suffer the same fate...

264
00:11:20,094 --> 00:11:21,576
As your parents!

265
00:11:24,006 --> 00:11:26,260
- It's all right, honey.
- We're alive.

266
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,073
What?!

267
00:11:27,098 --> 00:11:29,429
The king convinced us it would be funny.

268
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:31,853
We've been prisoners a long time.

269
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:33,355
We lost perspective.

270
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,398
You should have seen your face!

271
00:11:36,423 --> 00:11:37,965
You were like, "aah!"

272
00:11:38,451 --> 00:11:39,827
"Ooh!"

273
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:41,760
Oh, but make no mistake.

274
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,026
If you don't bring me Galavant,
I will kill them.

275
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,494
For realsies.

276
00:11:49,984 --> 00:11:54,096
♪ And we're the Monks,
hey, hey, we're the Monks ♪

277
00:11:54,121 --> 00:11:57,033
♪ Yeah ♪

278
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:57,977
What's happening?

279
00:11:58,002 --> 00:11:59,097
I'll tell you what's happening.

280
00:11:59,122 --> 00:12:00,817
Our Sid sings like a freaking angel.

281
00:12:00,841 --> 00:12:03,031
No, this plan, this whole thing.

282
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,054
- How did it come to this?
- Princess, relax.

283
00:12:06,079 --> 00:12:07,463
It's gonna go great.

284
00:12:07,488 --> 00:12:10,141
They already expect these guys
to perform at the castle.

285
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,168
We're just gonna sneak in with them

286
00:12:12,193 --> 00:12:13,949
and infiltrate from the inside.

287
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:18,049
Turns out you were right.

288
00:12:18,627 --> 00:12:20,880
As usual, I needed a better plan.

289
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:21,998
Galavant...

290
00:12:22,023 --> 00:12:23,825
I'm only magnanimous once every 10 years,

291
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,012
so just let this happen.

292
00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:28,300
You saw the best in me and...

293
00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:31,895
Ultimately reminded me what
it means to be a real knight.

294
00:12:32,981 --> 00:12:33,904
And here we are.

295
00:12:34,982 --> 00:12:36,202
So, thank you...

296
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,763
For bringing me back to me.

297
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,736
Against all the odds, it's, um...

298
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:47,070
Well, it's been a pleasure.

299
00:12:49,859 --> 00:12:52,811
You really don't
have to thank me for anything.

300
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:56,699
You actually have
a lot of nice qualities...

301
00:12:56,724 --> 00:12:58,083
All on your own.

302
00:12:58,685 --> 00:13:00,075
Careful, princess.

303
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,645
You're getting dangerously close
to paying me a compliment.

304
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:04,529
I can do compliments.

305
00:13:05,271 --> 00:13:08,451
I mean, you know your way around a horse,

306
00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:10,820
you're not so bad with a sword,

307
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:14,481
and your beard magically stays
the same length all the time.

308
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:20,832
And... you have an ability to see
the best in people

309
00:13:20,857 --> 00:13:22,668
even after they've wronged you.

310
00:13:26,716 --> 00:13:28,270
Like with Madalena.

311
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,073
Right.

312
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:31,967
Madalena.

313
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,702
Oh, man, this robe
is really itching my junk.

314
00:13:36,303 --> 00:13:38,878
Oh, you left your clothes on underneath.

315
00:13:39,346 --> 00:13:40,489
Right.

316
00:13:52,196 --> 00:13:54,484
I hope you're pleased
with what I've shown you.

317
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,333
Judging by the pressure

318
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:58,388
and what seems like the amount
of exclamation points,

319
00:13:58,413 --> 00:13:59,875
it's a little hard to tell.

320
00:14:00,336 --> 00:14:01,872
This is the writing of a happy queen

321
00:14:01,897 --> 00:14:05,616
who's decided to take control
and set a secret, evil plan in motion.

322
00:14:05,641 --> 00:14:06,351
Ooh!

323
00:14:07,545 --> 00:14:10,045
Let's keep that last part
just between the two of us.

324
00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:12,245
For your fastest pigeon.

325
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:15,435
This absolutely, positively
has to be there overnight.

326
00:14:17,054 --> 00:14:20,333
You upheld your end of the
bargain, so I'll uphold mine.

327
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:22,731
You have my permission to make
the most romantic of meals tonight

328
00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:23,984
for you and my hand maiden.

329
00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:26,977
Spare no expense...
Fresh oysters, braised rabbit,

330
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,173
and a nice Bordeaux
from my private cellar.

331
00:14:29,198 --> 00:14:31,015
Oh, I don't even know if she'll say yes.

332
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,260
I mean, we flirt and stuff,
but when I ask her on a date, bubkes.

333
00:14:34,285 --> 00:14:36,741
God, do I have to do everything
around here?

334
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:38,421
Gwynne!

335
00:14:38,819 --> 00:14:41,192
You're having dinner tonight
with smallpox over here.

336
00:14:41,217 --> 00:14:42,433
Yes, m'lady.

337
00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:45,014
You two aren't cousins
or anything, are you?

338
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:48,428
Ah, who cares? You guys couldn't
get any weirder looking.

339
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,306
I know a hook-up from your boss

340
00:14:55,331 --> 00:14:57,847
isn't the smoothest thing, but...

341
00:14:58,613 --> 00:14:59,655
I don't care.

342
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:03,920
Because, truthfully, I think
we could be great together.

343
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,908
But love isn't meant for people like us.

344
00:15:07,564 --> 00:15:09,011
I beg to differ.

345
00:15:13,463 --> 00:15:17,404
♪ If I could share my life with you ♪

346
00:15:17,429 --> 00:15:21,432
♪ Just think how happy we'd be ♪

347
00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:25,443
♪ We'd share our hovel built for two ♪

348
00:15:25,468 --> 00:15:28,670
♪ Complete with vermin for three ♪

349
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:33,382
♪ We could while away each hopeless day ♪

350
00:15:33,407 --> 00:15:36,946
♪ Comparing open sores ♪

351
00:15:37,391 --> 00:15:41,172
♪ Yes, life would blow,
but much less, though ♪

352
00:15:41,476 --> 00:15:44,027
♪ If I could share mine with yours ♪

353
00:15:44,052 --> 00:15:46,575
No, I can't. It's impossible!

354
00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:51,415
♪ If I could share my life with you ♪

355
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,698
♪ Admit it, it would be nice ♪

356
00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:59,166
♪ We'd share one cot, one chamber pot ♪

357
00:15:59,471 --> 00:16:02,851
♪ Plus trench mouth, tapeworms, and lice ♪

358
00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:06,923
♪ We would have a dozen kids ♪

359
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:11,096
♪ And maybe one won't die ♪

360
00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:12,355
♪ And the plague ♪

361
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,405
♪ The runs ♪

362
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,378
♪ Invading huns ♪

363
00:16:15,403 --> 00:16:19,408
♪ Just think how time would fly ♪

364
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:23,321
♪ If you could share your life with me ♪

365
00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:26,888
♪ I'll Cherish every foul breath ♪

366
00:16:27,412 --> 00:16:29,380
- ♪ The filth ♪
- ♪ The rot ♪

367
00:16:29,381 --> 00:16:31,477
♪ The leprosy ♪

368
00:16:31,502 --> 00:16:35,134
♪ The painful, lingering death ♪

369
00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:39,350
♪ Thank the Lord our life expectancy ♪

370
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:42,773
♪ Is merely 32 ♪

371
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:49,395
♪ Yeah, it might be sweet misery ♪

372
00:16:49,420 --> 00:17:00,640
♪ To share what's left with yo-o-o-u ♪

373
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:05,006
So, me, you, dinner tonight, my place.

374
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,000
You bring that pretty
little smile of yours,

375
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,479
and I'll supply the rest.

376
00:17:08,776 --> 00:17:09,776
Yes!

377
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,695
Right, princess. You ready
to get your kingdom back?

378
00:17:24,914 --> 00:17:26,067
I've been thinking.

379
00:17:26,092 --> 00:17:28,743
I can get another kingdom.
It's a buyer's market right now.

380
00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:29,932
Let's just free my parents,

381
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:31,343
get Madalena, and get us out of here.

382
00:17:31,368 --> 00:17:32,801
Absolutely not.

383
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,952
When I make a promise, I keep it.

384
00:17:35,404 --> 00:17:36,786
We're gonna get your kingdom back.

385
00:17:36,811 --> 00:17:37,997
- But...
- Once the concert starts,

386
00:17:38,022 --> 00:17:40,276
we're gonna have about an hour
to move about the castle.

387
00:17:40,301 --> 00:17:42,043
Where do you think
they're keeping your parents?

388
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:44,768
Perhaps they're up your butt.

389
00:17:45,729 --> 00:17:48,828
Y-you see, because
that's the most unlikely place.

390
00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:51,694
I mean, obviously, her parents
couldn't be up your...

391
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:54,155
Well, well, well.

392
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,454
Ah, it's too late.
I had to go for the stupid butt joke.

393
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:58,751
Forget it. Guards, just seize them.

394
00:18:06,368 --> 00:18:07,802
Your move...

395
00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,847
'Cause I haven't killed anybody all day.

396
00:18:09,872 --> 00:18:12,151
Gareth, we agreed
<i>I</i> would say the cool things.

397
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:15,338
- So, what's it gonna be?
- Damn it, Gareth!

398
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:17,495
Fine.

399
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,052
Galavant, no!

400
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:20,985
Now let her go.

401
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,756
She had nothing to do with this.

402
00:18:23,405 --> 00:18:25,230
You are<i> so</i> noble.

403
00:18:25,457 --> 00:18:27,021
And yet the women in your life

404
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,270
never seem to honor that nobility.

405
00:18:29,715 --> 00:18:32,120
In fact, this one tricked you
into coming all the way here

406
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,428
so I could kill you.

407
00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:37,566
What?

408
00:18:39,378 --> 00:18:41,749
Well, well, well...

409
00:18:41,774 --> 00:18:44,386
Looks like it's time for dinner.

410
00:18:44,854 --> 00:18:47,174
- Nailed it.
- Boom.

411
00:18:50,986 --> 00:18:54,516
But... what the... all that time...

412
00:18:54,541 --> 00:18:56,609
He may not be able to talk, but I can.

413
00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:58,244
This is messed up, princess!

414
00:18:58,246 --> 00:19:00,288
I didn't have a choice.
He was going to kill my parents.

415
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,417
Shut up!

416
00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:06,405
Well, seems like you kids
have lots to talk about.

417
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:07,927
I'll let you get to it.

418
00:19:07,952 --> 00:19:09,557
Oh, but do hurry.

419
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,351
I'm executing Galavant in 10 minutes. Hmm.

420
00:19:13,062 --> 00:19:15,179
It's nice to finally
have people down here.

421
00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:16,498
Feels lived in.

422
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:20,103
I'm so sorry.
I wanted to tell you, but I...

423
00:19:20,128 --> 00:19:21,059
But what?

424
00:19:21,921 --> 00:19:23,280
You didn't have time?

425
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,647
Not in the hundreds of miles we traveled

426
00:19:26,061 --> 00:19:27,598
or the meals we shared?

427
00:19:28,489 --> 00:19:31,244
In retrospect, the trip
through the forest of honesty

428
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:33,261
would have seemed like
an appropriate time.

429
00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,593
But my family.

430
00:19:35,054 --> 00:19:38,261
Well, perhaps if you'd told me,
we could have made a plan.

431
00:19:38,972 --> 00:19:40,714
And you would have helped me?

432
00:19:40,739 --> 00:19:42,748
Even if you had nothing to gain from it?

433
00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:45,877
I guess we'll never find out.

434
00:19:49,968 --> 00:19:51,399
If even a single ounce of you was real,

435
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,006
just tell me one thing...

436
00:19:53,031 --> 00:19:55,495
Did Madalena want me to come for her?

437
00:19:55,675 --> 00:19:56,922
I don't know.

438
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,230
No!

439
00:20:24,665 --> 00:20:27,240
Not so tough, are you now,

440
00:20:27,265 --> 00:20:28,463
Galavan...

441
00:20:29,773 --> 00:20:30,467
Aah!!

442
00:20:30,492 --> 00:20:31,866
Aah!!

443
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:40,887
Hello, darling.

444
00:20:42,504 --> 00:20:43,824
Madalena?

445
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:49,094
There's braised rabbit
and Bordeaux, your favorites.

446
00:20:50,823 --> 00:20:51,865
<i>You</i> saved me?

447
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:54,819
Oh, I've done a lot more than that.

448
00:21:00,016 --> 00:21:02,151
We have a lot of catching up to do.

449
00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,329
I've written someone,

450
00:21:06,354 --> 00:21:09,056
and he's coming to execute my plan.

451
00:21:09,464 --> 00:21:11,365
He doesn't play nice.

452
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:17,161
Everything's about to change.

452
00:21:18,305 --> 00:22:18,481
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