1 00:00:03,227 --> 00:00:04,967 Did you miss me, Gal? 2 00:00:04,992 --> 00:00:08,245 Madalena, I have traveled 1,000 miles to see you. 3 00:00:08,495 --> 00:00:09,863 I fought pirates. 4 00:00:09,888 --> 00:00:12,137 I stared death in the face a dozen times, 5 00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:13,721 and I did all that to be with a woman 6 00:00:13,746 --> 00:00:17,341 who chose a fierce and cruel man over my unconditional love. 7 00:00:17,598 --> 00:00:19,790 - So... - You crossed my mind, yes. 8 00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:22,560 Then why didn't you act happy to see me? 9 00:00:22,585 --> 00:00:24,680 To be honest, I don't know how to feel. 10 00:00:24,705 --> 00:00:26,449 Isabella told me you wanted me to rescue you. 11 00:00:26,474 --> 00:00:27,901 Did you even know I was coming? 12 00:00:27,926 --> 00:00:30,834 Well, I found out earlier today, and as soon as I did, 13 00:00:30,859 --> 00:00:32,805 I made a plan for us to be together. 14 00:00:33,211 --> 00:00:35,023 Yeah, well, I had a plan, as well. 15 00:00:35,523 --> 00:00:37,601 We were gonna live in a cottage by the sea. 16 00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:39,890 We were gonna make love, plant a garden... 17 00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:41,301 Have children. 18 00:00:41,715 --> 00:00:43,854 I was gonna sing songs of your beauty. 19 00:00:43,879 --> 00:00:45,652 Oh, Gal. 20 00:00:45,677 --> 00:00:47,467 That sounds awful. 21 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,415 Look around. 22 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,044 I live in a castle. 23 00:00:51,559 --> 00:00:53,598 And you know what I've learned about myself? 24 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,919 I really like stuff. 25 00:00:55,944 --> 00:00:58,403 I mean, why would I give all this up 26 00:00:58,428 --> 00:01:00,840 to get fat and pregnant and grow my own food? 27 00:01:01,254 --> 00:01:03,113 So, you didn't want me to come? 28 00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:07,934 I should never have trusted Isabella. 29 00:01:08,731 --> 00:01:10,864 How could someone so small tell such a big lie? 30 00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:12,205 Well, none of that matters now. 31 00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,770 I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, 32 00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:17,700 and you will be well taken care of as my... 33 00:01:18,699 --> 00:01:20,091 Special companion. 34 00:01:20,116 --> 00:01:22,163 Your boy toy, you mean. 35 00:01:22,188 --> 00:01:24,495 Is that how you see me? Hmm? 36 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,648 As some well-groomed, ruggedly handsome, 37 00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:28,837 yet oddly delicate-featured plaything? 38 00:01:29,808 --> 00:01:30,875 Yeah. 39 00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:34,594 Madalena, I've got something to say, 40 00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:38,001 and I've come a really, really long way to say it. 41 00:01:38,436 --> 00:01:39,259 Oh, no. 42 00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:41,257 ♪ I want you, I need you ♪ 43 00:01:41,281 --> 00:01:43,259 ♪ You cut me, and I bleed you ♪ 44 00:01:43,284 --> 00:01:45,033 ♪ You're like some kind of sonnet ♪ 45 00:01:45,058 --> 00:01:47,008 ♪ All I want to do is read you ♪ 46 00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:48,776 - ♪ And I love you ♪ - I know. 47 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,738 - ♪ I mean I love you ♪ - Yes. Thanks. 48 00:01:50,763 --> 00:01:52,811 - ♪ I said I love you ♪ - You did. 49 00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:57,574 ♪ And now don't you want to tell me something, too? ♪ 50 00:02:00,123 --> 00:02:01,723 ♪ I love you ♪ 51 00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:05,006 ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ 52 00:02:05,031 --> 00:02:05,530 Huh? 53 00:02:05,555 --> 00:02:08,719 ♪ I mean, I love how we make people stare ♪ 54 00:02:08,744 --> 00:02:10,587 ♪ We're quite the stunning pair ♪ 55 00:02:10,612 --> 00:02:12,826 ♪ In other words, you love me ♪ 56 00:02:12,851 --> 00:02:16,092 ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ 57 00:02:16,117 --> 00:02:16,635 Okay. 58 00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:19,794 ♪ I mean, I love how when we hit the hay ♪ 59 00:02:19,819 --> 00:02:21,410 ♪ It's more than just okay ♪ 60 00:02:21,435 --> 00:02:21,766 Right? 61 00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,998 ♪ I'd absolutely say more like middling to fair ♪ 62 00:02:25,023 --> 00:02:26,506 Yeah. Wait. What? 63 00:02:26,531 --> 00:02:28,748 ♪ Dance with me ♪ 64 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:32,484 ♪ Can't you see how freaking gorgeous we look? ♪ 65 00:02:32,509 --> 00:02:35,258 ♪ Can't you feel the frantic beat of our hearts ♪ 66 00:02:35,283 --> 00:02:39,683 ♪ As our various parts rub with such delicious friction? ♪ 67 00:02:39,708 --> 00:02:41,220 ♪ So, that's all you really... ♪ 68 00:02:41,221 --> 00:02:43,397 ♪ Dance with me ♪ 69 00:02:43,422 --> 00:02:46,716 ♪ Why not finish what's already begun? ♪ 70 00:02:46,741 --> 00:02:49,214 ♪ So, what you're saying is you love me ♪ 71 00:02:49,239 --> 00:02:51,183 - ♪ I love you ♪ - ♪ Really love me ♪ 72 00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:53,505 - ♪ I love you ♪ - ♪ And always loved me? ♪ 73 00:02:53,530 --> 00:02:57,225 ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ 74 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:03,097 Does that clear things up for you? 75 00:03:03,113 --> 00:03:04,414 No. 76 00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,115 And when did you learn how to dance? 77 00:03:10,127 --> 00:03:11,839 Are you hearing this, Gareth? 78 00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:16,207 My own wife tries to trick me into killing my favorite chef 79 00:03:16,207 --> 00:03:18,155 so she can save her ex-boyfriend. 80 00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,042 You sure it was her? 81 00:03:19,043 --> 00:03:20,327 Pretty girl, tiny waist, big eyes? 82 00:03:20,352 --> 00:03:21,344 Definitely, My King. 83 00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:25,151 No one has it as bad as I do, Gareth. 84 00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:27,839 - No one! - Aaaaaaaah! 85 00:03:29,004 --> 00:03:30,575 Uh... Don't worry. 86 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,953 Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way? 87 00:03:33,978 --> 00:03:34,923 Oh, come on. 88 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,111 Forget I'm your king and talk to me like your friend. 89 00:03:37,112 --> 00:03:38,055 All right. 90 00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:39,706 You keep acting like a prat. 91 00:03:39,731 --> 00:03:41,194 You need to be more of a geezer. 92 00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:44,942 You know, I've tried to tell you time and time again. 93 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,554 You don't turn your ear. 94 00:03:48,426 --> 00:03:49,428 Oh, Gareth. 95 00:03:49,453 --> 00:03:51,162 I can't understand a word you say. 96 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:53,043 Let me ask you this, then. 97 00:03:53,956 --> 00:03:54,992 Do you like me, Gareth? 98 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:59,092 - I mean, you know, as a... as a person? - Aaaaaaah! 99 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,592 I got to go. 100 00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:04,859 My queen needs me. 101 00:04:04,884 --> 00:04:06,660 - Your queen? - Mm. 102 00:04:06,685 --> 00:04:09,446 Are you hearing this? Now it's his queen. 103 00:04:09,471 --> 00:04:10,943 Fine. Go ahead. 104 00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:12,845 Leave me, too. Be that guy. 105 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:14,059 Go. Go. 106 00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:15,131 Yeah, okay. 107 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,186 Why am I like this? 108 00:04:19,211 --> 00:04:22,654 Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way? 109 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,766 - Sire! - Hmm? 110 00:04:23,947 --> 00:04:26,384 I-I think I know something that may help you. 111 00:04:26,409 --> 00:04:27,882 Really? What? 112 00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:30,022 Have you ever heard of Xanax? 113 00:04:30,047 --> 00:04:30,854 Xanax? 114 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,792 Is he that new magician I'm hearing so much about? 115 00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:34,774 Merlin's replacement? 116 00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:36,122 Yes, My King. 117 00:04:36,411 --> 00:04:38,803 I-I occasionally buy herbs from him. 118 00:04:38,828 --> 00:04:41,860 Herbs? For what? F-f-for cooking? 119 00:04:42,454 --> 00:04:44,241 Yeah... f-for cooking. 120 00:04:45,038 --> 00:04:47,752 All right, it's worth a shot. Let's go see Xanax. 121 00:04:48,463 --> 00:04:50,477 I should probably put on something more casual. 122 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:51,887 The brown. 123 00:04:57,233 --> 00:04:58,319 Uh, hi. 124 00:04:58,344 --> 00:05:00,256 Um, why are we back in the dungeon? 125 00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:02,959 Just wait here. I'll come get you when it's time. 126 00:05:02,984 --> 00:05:05,200 Someone's coming to help execute my plan. 127 00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:06,533 Move along. 128 00:05:08,812 --> 00:05:10,419 Galavant! Galavant! 129 00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:14,417 I thought you were dead. 130 00:05:14,442 --> 00:05:16,411 You mean because you betrayed me, you thought they would hang me? 131 00:05:16,436 --> 00:05:17,682 Because you betrayed me? 132 00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:18,670 Oh, trust me, sir, 133 00:05:18,695 --> 00:05:21,439 I have been guilting the crap out of her down here. 134 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,553 King Richard said if I didn't deliver the jewel and you, 135 00:05:23,578 --> 00:05:25,268 he would kill my parents. 136 00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:26,767 I tried to warn you... 137 00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:28,936 so many songs, so many asides. 138 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,841 The point is, Queen Madalena, 139 00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:32,494 you have the jewel and you have Galavant. 140 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,617 - You must release my parents. - Must I? 141 00:05:34,642 --> 00:05:36,211 - Yes. You have to. - Have I? 142 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,251 - Yes. - Really? 143 00:05:37,276 --> 00:05:38,939 Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question? 144 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,925 Am I just repeating everything you say as a question? 145 00:05:40,968 --> 00:05:42,251 You... Don't hear it? 146 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,331 -I hear it. Yeah. - Yeah. 147 00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:47,381 - You're sort of doing it a little bit. - I had a deal with King Richard. 148 00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:48,766 My dear girl... 149 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,874 I am not King Richard. 150 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:55,560 But I will enjoy killing the girl who tried to eat my leftover man mutton. 151 00:06:01,113 --> 00:06:04,148 Is... Anyone else uncomfortable? 152 00:06:05,961 --> 00:06:07,261 Gareth. 153 00:06:07,725 --> 00:06:08,967 Cut her face. 154 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,511 Torture the rest. 155 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,685 - Gala... - Excuse me? 156 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:15,656 I said torture them. Is there a problem? 157 00:06:16,249 --> 00:06:17,850 No. There's not a problem. 158 00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:20,403 I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it. 159 00:06:20,428 --> 00:06:21,993 I once kept a guy alive for a week, 160 00:06:22,018 --> 00:06:23,794 and he was just a head and a finger. 161 00:06:24,131 --> 00:06:25,917 But that order came from the king, 162 00:06:25,942 --> 00:06:27,050 and I serve My King. 163 00:06:27,075 --> 00:06:29,936 Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this. 164 00:06:30,115 --> 00:06:32,932 He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman. 165 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,097 He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby. 166 00:06:35,122 --> 00:06:36,738 Hey! That was a birthday present. 167 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,316 He got me that so I could have a sit down. 168 00:06:38,341 --> 00:06:40,218 You're a dog, Gareth. 169 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,937 And a dog needs a strong master. 170 00:06:44,228 --> 00:06:45,962 Now sic 'em. 171 00:06:51,216 --> 00:06:52,909 Here we are, sir. 172 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,207 Are we safe? 173 00:06:54,232 --> 00:06:56,011 This neighborhood looks a little dodgy. 174 00:06:56,036 --> 00:06:57,719 Don't worry, sire, we'll be fine. 175 00:06:57,744 --> 00:06:59,796 Just... Try not to look scared. 176 00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:03,727 Hello. Nice to see you. 177 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:11,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 178 00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,992 What do you want? 179 00:07:15,971 --> 00:07:18,046 Uh, we're here to see Xanax. 180 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,183 He's in the attic. 181 00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:21,291 Mom! It's a laboratory! 182 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,577 Call it a laboratory. 183 00:07:22,602 --> 00:07:23,780 It's an attic. 184 00:07:29,671 --> 00:07:32,733 Hmm. This is... Cozy. 185 00:07:33,447 --> 00:07:37,331 King Richard, may I present Xanax The Magician. 186 00:07:38,299 --> 00:07:40,186 Actually, I'm not legally allowed 187 00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,523 to call myself a magician anymore 188 00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:45,001 'cause of the whole... Thing. 189 00:07:45,026 --> 00:07:46,438 Don't worry. 190 00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:49,002 Think of me as a spiritual guide. 191 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,867 I'm allowed to... Call myself that. 192 00:07:50,892 --> 00:07:53,167 Anyone can. It's meaningless. 193 00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:56,856 Look at his shiny little hat, toad. 194 00:07:57,114 --> 00:07:58,178 Ribbit. 195 00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:00,086 Who's that person? 196 00:08:00,111 --> 00:08:01,635 It's toad. He's cool. 197 00:08:01,636 --> 00:08:02,569 Ribbit. 198 00:08:03,374 --> 00:08:04,438 Don't ask. 199 00:08:05,847 --> 00:08:07,214 He was a toad. 200 00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:08,729 I did a spell... 201 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:12,465 turned him into a human-ish... Type thing. 202 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,334 So, uh, yeah. I flipped it. 203 00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:16,216 That's very good. 204 00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:18,693 Anyway, what can I do for you gents? 205 00:08:18,857 --> 00:08:20,751 Well, it's... No big deal, really. 206 00:08:20,752 --> 00:08:22,232 We were just... in the neighborhood, 207 00:08:22,257 --> 00:08:24,336 and, um, I was sort of wondering, 208 00:08:24,361 --> 00:08:26,632 you know, why I am the way I am, 209 00:08:26,657 --> 00:08:29,588 and he mentioned you might be able to help me. 210 00:08:29,613 --> 00:08:31,457 Xanax can help anything. 211 00:08:31,482 --> 00:08:32,496 Wonderful. 212 00:08:35,374 --> 00:08:36,253 Bit of wind there. 213 00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:37,175 Ooh. 214 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,155 Right. Let's get you started. 215 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,946 This is a... Kind of disgusting little workstation, isn't it? 216 00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:44,830 You see the toilet? It's basically a window. 217 00:08:45,213 --> 00:08:47,807 And by "window," I mean "hole"... in the wall. 218 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:49,987 It works. 219 00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:50,877 One of them. 220 00:08:50,902 --> 00:08:53,780 Oh. Toad spotted it. You'd love that, wouldn't you? 221 00:08:55,062 --> 00:08:56,210 That goes in. 222 00:08:56,585 --> 00:08:58,512 Ready. Let's do this. 223 00:08:58,979 --> 00:09:01,289 Oooooooooooh. 224 00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:05,131 Now the magic words. 225 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,428 Abracadabra. 226 00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:11,006 Alakazam. 227 00:09:12,045 --> 00:09:17,748 Habrazamdabra, flanimal ham. 228 00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:18,873 Oooooh. 229 00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:21,583 Try that now. It's all magic. 230 00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:24,564 - So, I just... Drink that down, eh? - Yeah. 231 00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:26,532 - Straight down the gullet? - Yeah. 232 00:09:27,157 --> 00:09:30,072 - Ooh. That is pungent. - Yeah. That's the anus. 233 00:09:30,549 --> 00:09:31,867 Oh, what the hell. 234 00:09:32,463 --> 00:09:33,314 Oh, God. 235 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,212 Mm. 236 00:09:35,094 --> 00:09:35,766 Hmm. 237 00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:39,016 Takes a little while to kick in with a strong-willed... 238 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:40,494 - I'm feeling it. - Yeah. 239 00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:43,998 Oh, wow. 240 00:09:50,707 --> 00:09:53,500 All right, boss, we need an escape plan. 241 00:09:53,862 --> 00:09:56,230 - What are you thinking? - Here's what I think. 242 00:09:58,071 --> 00:10:00,110 If you really break it down... 243 00:10:01,512 --> 00:10:03,682 "I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone" 244 00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:04,883 can mean a lot of things. 245 00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:06,730 Oh, come on, man. 246 00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:08,685 Oh, just let it go! 247 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:09,921 She's the worst! 248 00:10:09,897 --> 00:10:11,929 - She imprisoned us. - She stole our jewels. 249 00:10:11,954 --> 00:10:14,502 - Yeah, not a fan. - You want to know what I think? 250 00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:15,877 I think you're in a dungeon 251 00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:18,029 wondering if the woman that put you there loves you. 252 00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:21,427 And the real question is, why do you still love her? 253 00:10:21,849 --> 00:10:23,076 I mean, yes, she's beautiful, 254 00:10:23,101 --> 00:10:25,190 in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way, 255 00:10:25,215 --> 00:10:26,627 if you're into that sort of thing. 256 00:10:26,652 --> 00:10:27,606 Mm. 257 00:10:27,937 --> 00:10:29,508 I know you, Galavant. 258 00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:32,448 I know your heart, and you deserve better. 259 00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:35,584 You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man, 260 00:10:35,609 --> 00:10:38,150 someone who will fight with you, not against you. 261 00:10:38,175 --> 00:10:39,936 Maybe someone who's small and cute 262 00:10:39,961 --> 00:10:42,297 and ethnically hard to pin down. 263 00:10:44,950 --> 00:10:46,871 What you're saying is... 264 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,118 you don't think she loves me? 265 00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,248 Bloody hell. 266 00:10:53,273 --> 00:10:56,311 Oh, please, just stop the torture and kill me already. 267 00:10:56,336 --> 00:10:57,347 I haven't started yet. 268 00:10:57,372 --> 00:10:58,289 He's not part of it? 269 00:10:58,314 --> 00:11:01,003 Will everybody just shut up?! 270 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,464 - Do you want to know what real torture is? - No, I'm good. Thanks. 271 00:11:08,974 --> 00:11:12,009 Imagine being loyal to someone your whole life. 272 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:13,003 I'm not gonna tell you who, 273 00:11:13,028 --> 00:11:16,213 but hypothetically, we'll call him "the king." 274 00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,979 He's a bit of a ponce, but I like him. 275 00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:23,285 Then he gets married to this rump-fed basket cockle, 276 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:26,242 who, hypothetically, we'll call "the queen." 277 00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:28,125 We all know who you're talking about, Gareth. 278 00:11:28,126 --> 00:11:30,545 But let me be cryptic for a minute, will ya?! 279 00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:31,858 Just give me that! 280 00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:35,699 Now, she's not like "the king." 281 00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:39,237 But she's strong, and I admire strength. 282 00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:42,339 But, then again, I've sworn an oath to protect the king. 283 00:11:42,746 --> 00:11:43,674 So I don't know what to do. 284 00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:46,510 I mean, that's real torture, isn't it, lads? 285 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,017 Welcome to Richard's journey 286 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,153 to find out why he is the way he is. 287 00:12:02,938 --> 00:12:04,838 There's bottles of water in easy reach. 288 00:12:04,863 --> 00:12:06,939 Please stay hydrated. 289 00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:08,167 And no kissing. 290 00:12:08,192 --> 00:12:10,033 Of course. Wait. What? 291 00:12:10,058 --> 00:12:11,860 Oh... Shouldn't be an issue. 292 00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:13,164 But it has happened in the past, 293 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:16,783 so I made a blanket rule... no kissing. 294 00:12:17,354 --> 00:12:19,369 Mm. Good idea. 295 00:12:19,394 --> 00:12:21,788 Okay. Everyone ready? 296 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:22,932 Ribbit. 297 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:26,969 ♪ Close your eyes, open your mind ♪ 298 00:12:26,994 --> 00:12:31,049 ♪ Your journey's about to begin ♪ 299 00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:34,803 ♪ Relax your karma and try not to barf ♪ 300 00:12:34,828 --> 00:12:39,276 ♪ As the universe starts to spin ♪ 301 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:43,064 ♪ Hocus-pocus, expealadocious ♪ 302 00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:46,960 ♪ Set your aura free ♪ 303 00:12:46,985 --> 00:12:52,138 ♪ Petrificus totalis, drink deeply from the chalice ♪ 304 00:12:52,163 --> 00:13:02,859 ♪ Tell us what you see-e-e-e-e-e ♪ 305 00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:10,262 I see a door! 306 00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:13,816 Oi! What did I say? 307 00:13:13,841 --> 00:13:15,062 No... 308 00:13:15,309 --> 00:13:17,176 Go through it. 309 00:13:17,481 --> 00:13:18,605 It's opening on its own! 310 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,747 That's magic. 311 00:13:27,244 --> 00:13:29,198 This is the day my father died. 312 00:13:29,223 --> 00:13:32,636 ♪ The king is dead, long live the king ♪ 313 00:13:32,661 --> 00:13:36,197 ♪ The king is dead, long live the king ♪ 314 00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:40,018 ♪ Where is his son, who'll inherit everything? ♪ 315 00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:42,167 Is that you, sire? So handsome. 316 00:13:42,192 --> 00:13:44,748 No. It's my much older brother, Kingsley. 317 00:13:44,773 --> 00:13:47,682 - I can't see anything! - That's me. 318 00:13:48,051 --> 00:13:49,802 ♪ Shut up, you ♪ 319 00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:51,197 I can't see anything! 320 00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:52,595 ♪ Shut up ♪ 321 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:53,504 Oh, dear. 322 00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:55,199 I ate my feelings. 323 00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:56,585 And a lot of bread. 324 00:13:56,610 --> 00:13:58,490 ♪ The sword, Your Highness ♪ 325 00:13:58,515 --> 00:14:01,730 ♪ Here's the royal sword ♪ 326 00:14:01,957 --> 00:14:03,268 No one gives me anything. 327 00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:07,334 ♪ To be the king, you must receive the sword ♪ 328 00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:10,003 If I want something, I take it. 329 00:14:10,028 --> 00:14:12,017 And I don't want to be any king. 330 00:14:12,042 --> 00:14:14,871 Oh, but, Kingsley, it's your destiny. 331 00:14:15,098 --> 00:14:17,412 We literally named you "Kingsley." 332 00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:18,988 God told us to. 333 00:14:19,013 --> 00:14:20,661 It's not like we were being trendy. 334 00:14:20,686 --> 00:14:23,298 My destiny lies beyond the castle walls, mother. 335 00:14:23,323 --> 00:14:25,140 I'm going to conquer and kill 336 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,443 and spread bastard children throughout the land, 337 00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,459 like wildflower seeds. 338 00:14:29,795 --> 00:14:32,050 Somebody else can sit on their ass and rule. 339 00:14:32,315 --> 00:14:33,650 ♪ But who? ♪ 340 00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:35,329 - ♪ Who? ♪ - ♪ But who? ♪ 341 00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:38,566 ♪ Who? ♪ ♪ But who? ♪ ♪ But who? ♪ 342 00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:43,485 Dickie? 343 00:14:43,510 --> 00:14:44,964 "Dickie." 344 00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:47,669 Brilliant. 345 00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:48,969 Gareth. 346 00:14:48,994 --> 00:14:49,797 Aye. 347 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,757 You shall be the king's guard. 348 00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:54,816 I'm only 10, but... All right. 349 00:14:54,841 --> 00:14:57,530 I'm Gareth, and I'll faithfully serve you, My King. 350 00:14:58,295 --> 00:15:00,266 ♪ The sword, your highness ♪ 351 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:04,258 ♪ Here's your royal sword ♪ 352 00:15:04,977 --> 00:15:06,603 ♪ To be the king, you mu... ♪ 353 00:15:06,604 --> 00:15:09,062 Actually, I think I will take the sword. 354 00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:12,823 Good luck... Dickie. 355 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,361 How humiliating. 356 00:15:17,386 --> 00:15:18,815 That's it. 357 00:15:18,816 --> 00:15:20,650 It was humiliating. 358 00:15:21,168 --> 00:15:23,653 Everything comes back to this moment. 359 00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,788 I have spent my entire life 360 00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:27,761 behaving as if I'm everyone's second choice... 361 00:15:27,786 --> 00:15:30,252 my parents', my kingdom's, and now my queen's. 362 00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:32,928 Let's go take back my kingdom! 363 00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:36,332 Where's that bloody door? 364 00:15:37,484 --> 00:15:39,555 Well, how the hell are we supposed to get up there? 365 00:15:39,969 --> 00:15:41,950 That was amazing! 366 00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:43,489 Thank you, Xanax. 367 00:15:43,514 --> 00:15:45,503 I now know exactly what I must do. 368 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,143 Come on, chef! To the horses! 369 00:15:47,144 --> 00:15:48,878 I wouldn't ride just yet. 370 00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:50,533 Again, it's a legal thing. 371 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:54,650 A guy once... he took his horse through a farmers market, 372 00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:56,219 and there was... "raaaaaah!" 373 00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,621 The hooves and the crushing and s-screaming, so... 374 00:15:58,622 --> 00:16:00,723 - Ugh... - Let the potion wear off. 375 00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:02,592 An hour, say? 376 00:16:02,593 --> 00:16:03,626 Oh. Okay. 377 00:16:03,972 --> 00:16:06,418 Hey, in that case, you guys want to see my room from when I was a kid? 378 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,573 Wow. 379 00:16:08,165 --> 00:16:09,599 Let's... let's do this. 380 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,550 Great. 381 00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:22,164 Listen, Galavant... 382 00:16:22,477 --> 00:16:24,140 I know what I did to you was horrible... 383 00:16:24,165 --> 00:16:25,848 probably even worse than what Madalena did to you, 384 00:16:25,873 --> 00:16:27,898 because at least she had the guts to do it to your face. 385 00:16:27,923 --> 00:16:29,943 And I won't say it again, 386 00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:31,546 but I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. 387 00:16:31,571 --> 00:16:34,071 Just so you know... I'm really sorry. 388 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:36,666 Oh, God. You must feel really bad. You're babbling. 389 00:16:37,656 --> 00:16:39,878 You only babble when you feel really bad. 390 00:16:39,903 --> 00:16:41,934 I do not babble when I feel bad. 391 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:42,904 I'm not saying it's a bad thing. 392 00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:45,414 To be honest, I've rather grown to like it. 393 00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:47,689 But you do babble, princess. 394 00:16:48,314 --> 00:16:49,749 Princess Isa-babble. 395 00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:52,308 "Princess Isa-babble." 396 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,797 Okay, hang on a sec. 397 00:16:53,822 --> 00:16:55,901 Babbling is when someone talks nonsense, 398 00:16:55,926 --> 00:16:58,043 and I do not talk nonsense. 399 00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:01,206 I mean... Sometimes, at times, I guess I do babble, 400 00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:03,107 but it's only because I have a lot going on in my head and... 401 00:17:03,108 --> 00:17:05,018 oh. Never mind. 402 00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:06,924 Look, you don't have to feel bad. 403 00:17:06,949 --> 00:17:08,479 They're your parents. 404 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,205 When you care about somebody... 405 00:17:11,228 --> 00:17:12,818 You'll do anything for them. 406 00:17:13,488 --> 00:17:17,115 Love is... Strange. 407 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,413 And sometimes kind of gross. 408 00:17:19,702 --> 00:17:22,656 ♪ It's embarrassingly gassy ♪ 409 00:17:23,047 --> 00:17:26,423 ♪ And it leaves its dirty underwear ♪ 410 00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:29,836 ♪ In piles around the place ♪ 411 00:17:29,861 --> 00:17:33,281 ♪ Love is rude, it has a sort of smell ♪ 412 00:17:33,306 --> 00:17:36,440 ♪ And it thinks that you don't notice ♪ 413 00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:38,008 ♪ And it blurts out things ♪ 414 00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:43,085 ♪ That make you want to smack its stupid face ♪ 415 00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:45,959 ♪ And it's awkward and confusing ♪ 416 00:17:45,984 --> 00:17:48,872 ♪ It annoys you half to death ♪ 417 00:17:48,897 --> 00:17:51,198 ♪ Then it grins that dopey grin ♪ 418 00:17:51,223 --> 00:17:55,471 ♪ And you can't catch your breath ♪ 419 00:17:55,496 --> 00:17:59,078 ♪ Love is strange and sometimes sort of smug ♪ 420 00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:02,211 ♪ And it's really, really bossy ♪ 421 00:18:02,236 --> 00:18:04,784 ♪ And it messes with your head ♪ 422 00:18:04,809 --> 00:18:08,906 ♪ Till you're a hopeless basket case ♪ 423 00:18:08,907 --> 00:18:10,240 ♪ And it's stubborn ♪ 424 00:18:10,241 --> 00:18:11,543 ♪ It's insulting ♪ 425 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:12,929 ♪ It's obnoxious ♪ 426 00:18:12,954 --> 00:18:14,508 ♪ It's the worst ♪ 427 00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:20,710 ♪ You keep pushing it away, and you fall in headfirst ♪ 428 00:18:20,735 --> 00:18:24,421 ♪ Love is strange ♪ 429 00:18:24,422 --> 00:18:26,707 ♪ And often pretty drunk ♪ 430 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:29,885 ♪ It looks different without makeup ♪ 431 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:33,285 ♪ And it's nothing like the fairy tales ♪ 432 00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:36,233 ♪ You grow up dreaming of ♪ 433 00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:37,831 ♪ Love is weird ♪ 434 00:18:37,856 --> 00:18:39,336 ♪ Love is dumb ♪ 435 00:18:39,337 --> 00:18:42,272 ♪ Love is strange ♪ 436 00:18:42,273 --> 00:18:53,853 ♪ And that's what makes it lo-o-o-o-o-ve ♪ 437 00:18:53,878 --> 00:18:55,569 I've been so blind. 438 00:18:56,249 --> 00:18:57,980 Madalena never loved me. 439 00:18:58,589 --> 00:19:00,253 When you love someone, you shout it from the rooftop, 440 00:19:00,278 --> 00:19:01,776 not couch it in a riddle. 441 00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:03,122 Or in a song. 442 00:19:03,302 --> 00:19:04,410 That's more cinematic. 443 00:19:05,957 --> 00:19:07,623 Well, how's that for timing? 444 00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:09,309 Our stars are finally aligning 445 00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:11,448 on the same day I'm going to die. 446 00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:12,936 No. 447 00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:17,064 No, you're not gonna die today. 448 00:19:17,642 --> 00:19:19,499 And you're not gonna die today. 449 00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:22,228 And you're not gonna die today. 450 00:19:23,919 --> 00:19:25,341 You might already be dead. 451 00:19:26,779 --> 00:19:28,517 Well, what are you going to do? 452 00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:29,896 What else? 453 00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:32,155 Save the day. 454 00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:37,155 Have these been open the whole time? 455 00:19:38,184 --> 00:19:40,106 No one thought to check? 456 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,679 Really? 457 00:19:47,865 --> 00:19:49,879 Is it done? Did you torture them? 458 00:19:49,904 --> 00:19:50,864 Nah. 459 00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:52,893 But I gave you an order. 460 00:19:52,918 --> 00:19:55,286 I don't give a rat's ass about your orders. 461 00:19:55,509 --> 00:19:58,501 I might be a dog, but at least I'm a loyal one, love. 462 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:02,471 Now, I serve the king, so I only follow his orders. 463 00:20:02,496 --> 00:20:04,989 That is so nice to hear. 464 00:20:06,133 --> 00:20:09,759 You have always been my most loyal friend, Gareth. 465 00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:12,466 I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, 466 00:20:12,491 --> 00:20:14,681 I would wrap myself around you 467 00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:16,787 like a leather jacket made of love. 468 00:20:16,812 --> 00:20:18,040 Mm. 469 00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:19,215 Xanax? 470 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,649 - So much Xanax. - Mm. 471 00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:21,651 Okay, couple of things. 472 00:20:21,676 --> 00:20:24,941 First, chef, I am so munchy. 473 00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:27,217 Could you make me, like, a cheesy omelette 474 00:20:27,242 --> 00:20:29,478 with some ham chunks, potatoes fried in bacon grease? 475 00:20:29,503 --> 00:20:30,875 - Right away, sire. - Excellent. 476 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,493 Next, I'm breaking up with you. 477 00:20:33,518 --> 00:20:36,205 Gareth, would you please escort Madalena down to the dungeon 478 00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:38,383 and lock her up forever? 479 00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:39,375 Huh? 480 00:20:41,276 --> 00:20:42,004 Come on. 481 00:20:42,029 --> 00:20:43,061 Wait! 482 00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:46,342 It would be rude to imprison your queen 483 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:48,530 when we have such a special visitor. 484 00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:49,663 What visitor? 485 00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:51,313 What are you talking about? 486 00:20:53,247 --> 00:20:54,714 Hello, brother. 487 00:20:57,942 --> 00:20:58,755 Kingsley? 488 00:20:58,780 --> 00:20:59,908 What's he doing here? 489 00:20:59,933 --> 00:21:00,815 What are you doing here? 490 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,528 I'm here to take your life. 491 00:21:03,184 --> 00:21:04,149 My life? 492 00:21:04,174 --> 00:21:06,113 Your lifestyle. 493 00:21:07,112 --> 00:21:08,335 Your kingdom. 494 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:12,355 Of course, if you get in my way, 495 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:16,095 I'll have to take your life, too... 496 00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:19,792 Dickie. 497 00:21:21,654 --> 00:21:23,304 This is gonna to be fun. 497 00:21:24,305 --> 00:22:24,460 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org