1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:06,361 Another big night, fellas... $ 164.87. 2 00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,339 - That's not a lot of money. - No, it isn't. 3 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,605 - And our mortgage is due in two weeks. - We paid that a week ago. 4 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,408 A week ago was three weeks late, Mac. 5 00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:16,472 Hey, guys. 6 00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:20,315 I met this guy in acting class. He's really cool, and he wants to see where I work. 7 00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,083 So could you guys try to not be weird? 8 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:27,525 - What is that supposed to mean? - I love you guys, but sometimes you're not that cool. 9 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,619 - We're cool! - Not cool? 10 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,164 - Try to be cool. - Sometimes you're not too cool. 11 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,427 - Charlie... - Always cool, man. 12 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:37,197 - Oh, hey, man, we're closed. - Yeah, I know. 13 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:40,330 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We don't want any trouble. - What? 14 00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:43,137 Guys, this is Terrell... 15 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,143 from my acting class. 16 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:51,015 - Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, man. How's it goin'? 17 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:54,212 - It's going good. How you doin'? - Good, man. 18 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,312 - We're just chillin', dude. - Great. 19 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,220 - Just closing up shop. - Yeah. 20 00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,986 Whoa. 21 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,689 Guess you guys don't have too many brothers walking through here. 22 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,697 - Oh, no, no. - We got plenty of brothers. 23 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,562 Yeah... A-African-Americans. 24 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,795 Okay. Yeah, we get it. 25 00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,337 You might know some of them. 26 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,400 Yeah. We're probably related. 27 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,501 No. 28 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:21,911 I don't think he was implying that you guys are all related. That's ridiculous. 29 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:26,384 Sweet Dee came in here a second ago and started talking about acting class. 30 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:30,787 - We weren't expecting you... - We weren't expecting you to be black, that's all. 31 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,593 Right. 32 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,564 Thanks, guys. 33 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 34 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:17,158 When I'm promotin', everybody and their mama gonna be there. 35 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,705 There's gonna be brothers, white boys, Latinos, whatever. 36 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,297 You got niggas hanging from the rafters. 37 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:25,310 So we got 400-plus packed into this tiny little place... 38 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:28,245 Whoa. You had 400 people packed into a place? 39 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,282 You damn right. That's my job, man. 40 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,318 And it's mostly college kids. 41 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,785 My sister goes to Temple, so I got the hookup over there. 42 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:36,719 And hookups are good. 43 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:40,850 But, just to be clear, when you say your sister, do you mean your sister or your friend... 44 00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,724 - Dude. - Oh, Jesus. 45 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:47,065 - I mean my sister. - Oh. Okay. Cool. 46 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:50,227 I was just... Because he could mean his friend or his... 47 00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,168 Stop talking. 48 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,672 So we're packed into this little place on Walnut. 49 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,835 We're halfway through the night, everything's goin' all right. 50 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,779 All of a sudden, I notice this dude eyeballin' me from across the bar. 51 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:05,978 - Shit. - I don't know if this dude wants to freak me or fight me. 52 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,782 - He's giving you crazy eyes. - The insane, crazy eyes. 53 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,720 - Right? - I know that. 54 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,156 So I walk over... He's this big, cut Mexican dude... 55 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:16,889 and I look at him and say, "Yo, ese... 56 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:20,455 unless you want to get yo' ass torn apart... 57 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,058 you'd better get that look off your face." 58 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,196 - No! - You just walked right up to him and said that? 59 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,672 I had to, man. You gotta make the first move. 60 00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,676 - Always make the first move. You know what I'm sayin'? - L-I know. 61 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:34,679 - So what happened? - Well, hey, he won't stop starin' me down. 62 00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:38,843 We're, like, eyeball to eyeball. His grill is right up in mine. It feels like an eternity. 63 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:41,216 Finally... 64 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:44,654 he just opens up his mouth and says... 65 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,956 "I guess you gon' have to tear my ass apart, homes." 66 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:52,293 Oh, man. So what'd you do? 67 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,390 Took him to the back alley... 68 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,095 and I tore his ass apart! 69 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,967 Oh, my God! 70 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,733 That's insane! 71 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:07,175 Okay, I would like to do things like that. 72 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,182 I love that guy. "I took him to the back alley"? 73 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,742 - Who does shit like that? It's like a movie. - There's something off about him. 74 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:17,688 - Oh, bro, that's racist. - No, asshole, that's not what I meant. 75 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,624 - I'll go get the coffee. What do you guys want? - Dude, sit down. Okay? 76 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:23,628 Wait till the waitress comes out here, and then you can stare at her. 77 00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:26,790 - I wasn't gonna stare at her. I was just gonna... - He wasn't gonna stare at her. 78 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,926 - You're totally obsessed with that chick. - No, I'm not. I like her. 79 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:34,440 I have a little bit of a crush, yes. But obsessed? That's a bit of a harsh word. 80 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:39,001 - It's never gonna happen. - Honestly, I think we should think about hiring Terrell. 81 00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:40,943 - Why? For what? - You heard him. 82 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,244 When he's promotin', everybody named Mama's looking to get in. 83 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:46,183 That's true. They do have "niggers hanging from rafters." 84 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:49,187 - Wow. Nice. - No, that's not what I was saying. 85 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:50,654 - Coffee? - Yeah. 86 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:53,624 - Hitler? - No, I'm not... I'm not Adolf Hitler. 87 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,628 - I'll make sure to put lots of cream in yours. - I was quoting a black friend. 88 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,630 Okay. 89 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,632 Well, that's just great. 90 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,669 - Now she thinks I'm racist. - Dude, will you just drop it? 91 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:07,137 Listen, ifTerrell delivers half of what he promises, we're looking at 200 people. 92 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:11,768 - Yeah, that's true. - It'd be nice to get some chicks in the bar. 93 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,971 All right, let's do it. 94 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,149 - Sure about this? - It's 2005, Charlie. 95 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:23,655 Don't you think it's ridiculous that you have no friends outside of your own race? 96 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,658 - No, what is ridiculous is this stupid plan. - It's not stupid! 97 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,320 - It's a stupid plan. - It's not... This is a college campus. 98 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:32,831 This is a great place to meet people of different cultures, diversify... 99 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,766 You're just trying to make black... Mm-hmm. 100 00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,803 You're trying to make black friends. 101 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:42,307 - You're not making it easy. - You're trying to impress Terrell with a couple of black friends. 102 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,468 Don't do this right now. 103 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:50,871 Okay. See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. 104 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,884 - This is perfect. - Huh. Yeah. 105 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,443 - I'm gonna break the ice. - Go for it. 106 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,386 'Bout to bust that shit up, Reese. 107 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,721 'Bout to bust that shit up, boy! 108 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,726 Absolutely. 109 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:11,502 - Okay, that didn't go exactly the way... - No. 110 00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,766 - No. It was really awkward. - Really awkward. 111 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,831 - Maybe we should go. - Yeah! 112 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:19,002 - Hey, what's your name? - Oh. It's, uh, Charlie. 113 00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:21,046 Do you play bones, Charlie? 114 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,014 I dabble. 115 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,017 Do you want to play? I could get you a game. 116 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:29,020 Uh, no, I shouldn't. I'm not very good, so... 117 00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:33,047 - I bet you're really good. - Well, it's been a long time, you know. 118 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,117 - Oh, come on. - All right. One game. 119 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:38,220 Domino, bitch! 120 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,869 This is bullshit. Absolute bullshit. 121 00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:48,395 - Why do these people like you more than they like me? - Maybe it's comments like that. 122 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:52,274 I meant those people in there, not all black people. What am I supposed to say? 123 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,246 You should say something different. Figure something else out. 124 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,248 - Hey. - Hey. 125 00:06:57,316 --> 00:07:00,342 - Um, I'm Janell. - Oh, hi. 126 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,787 - Uh, you got some moves out there, Charlie. - Thanks. 127 00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,790 You know. 128 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:08,383 I wanted to give you this. 129 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,395 - Oh. Okay. - You know? 130 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:14,126 - Give me a call sometime. All right? - Yeah. Sure. 131 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,191 Well, you... 132 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,136 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, dude? - What? 133 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,139 That girl's gorgeous. 134 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,335 She's the perfect opportunity to prove we're not racist. She probably has friends for me. 135 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,868 Well, if anything, I think we should be focused on black men, first of all. 136 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,006 What? 137 00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,949 We don't really need... We need black guys, so... 138 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,487 - Black guys? What are you talking about? - You know. 139 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,888 Is this about that waitress at the coffee shop, dude? 140 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,823 - Oh, my God! - What? 141 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,384 - Dude, you are obsessed with this chick. - No, I'm not. 142 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,328 - Let me see your wallet. - Why? 143 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:49,095 - Are you still carrying a picture of her in your wallet? - No. 144 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,141 Give it to me. Give it... 145 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,838 Oh, my God! Stop making a scene! 146 00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,312 Just give me the wallet! Give me the wallet! 147 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,372 I can't get the goddamn... 148 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,577 It's okay! It's okay, everybody! 149 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,018 - You're making a scene. - You're making a scene! 150 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,885 I got it. 151 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:13,790 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Hold on a second. 152 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:17,091 - Ha! Ha-ha! Ha! - Give it to me! 153 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,926 He had it! 154 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,761 Okay! You found it! 155 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,926 - I'm gonna tear it up! - No, don't! 156 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:27,329 Just give me it. I'll call the black girl. Okay? 157 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,374 Okay, buddy. 158 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,036 We're cool. We're cool. 159 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,171 We're good. Thanks, guys. See ya. 160 00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:43,487 I had the craziest dream last night that I was in Cleveland, Ohio... 161 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:46,491 which is really weird, because I've never even been to Ohio. 162 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,494 This guy was wearing a bunny suit, and he was coming out... 163 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,497 You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams. Okay? 164 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:56,501 I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. 165 00:08:56,569 --> 00:09:00,005 If I'm not in any of'em and nobody's having sex, I just... I don't care. 166 00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,939 Oh. I'm sorry. I would listen to your dreams. 167 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,978 - 'Cause your my brother and I love you. - I'm sorry. I am. 168 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,775 - Hey! What's goin' on, guys? - Terrell. 169 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:11,715 - How are you? - Hey! What's up? What's up? 170 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:15,447 How you doin'? Dennis! What's goin' on? 171 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,512 - All right, man. - How's it goin', man? 172 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,455 Good, man. 173 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:23,154 Listen, um, you mind stepping outside with me for a second, man? 174 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,094 - Yeah, I'll come outside. - Yeah? 175 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,359 - Yeah. - All right. Well, come on. 176 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:32,667 I'm gonna put these out on the tables. 177 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,040 Rule number one: Always keep a line. 178 00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,509 Oh, my God! That is a lot of people! 179 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,513 Wow! 180 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:51,753 - This is crazy! - I know! I told you! Terrell's the best! 181 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,384 I'm gonna have to start bartending full-time. 182 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,394 L-Look at this! 183 00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,530 - Why are you making more money than me? - I don't know! 184 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,627 - Hey, this is crazy! - I know. Terrell packed 'em in. Look at this. 185 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:08,105 - This is crazy! - Yeah, dude, we were just saying that. 186 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,074 - Lot of dudes. - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes. 187 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,871 Lot of dudes. 188 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,844 What can I get you boys? 189 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:17,474 - Oh, uh, we wanted to wait for the cute one. - What cute one? 190 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,514 Mac, isn't that your cousin Brett by the jukebox? 191 00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,255 - Oh, yeah! - Let's go say hey. 192 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,261 - Yo, Brettie boy! - Hey, cuz! 193 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:34,527 - Hey! How you doin'? - What's up, Brett? Can you believe this crowd? 194 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,398 - Oh, it's something else! - Yeah! 195 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,098 Gentlemen, I understand my services have been requested. 196 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,538 I actually got a couple of services I'd like to request. 197 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:45,099 Whoa! Uh, what are you doin, man? I'm not... 198 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:49,273 - You have the most beautiful eyes. - Okay, man, but I'm... Really? 199 00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,179 So blue. 200 00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:55,186 Really more of a blue-green, actually, but... 201 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,984 - I'm really proud of you, man. - Yeah, thanks. 202 00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,787 - You've come a long way. - What do you mean? 203 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,887 You guys are running the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 204 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,110 No! What in the hell is your problem? 205 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,845 How could you not tell me you were gay? 206 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:30,821 I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia. I didn't think it was that big a secret. 207 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,085 I've been coming on to you for weeks now. 208 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,787 - Just thought you were into gay dudes. - I am not into gay dudes! 209 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,193 - Apparently you are. - Okay, well, you know what? 210 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:41,097 The guys hired you to promote their bar, and you turned it into a gay bar. 211 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,101 They are not happy. 212 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,107 - So much money! - Whoo! 213 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,736 Oh! So much money! We made more money in one night... 214 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:56,111 Th-Than in the entire time that we've owned this place! 215 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,116 We have to embrace the situation. 216 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,118 We should totally embrace the situation! 217 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,051 - We're a gay bar from now on. - Absolutely, man! 218 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,112 No goddamn way. 219 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,124 Have you guys seen this? 220 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,127 "Looking for that new hot spot to spot that stud? 221 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,629 Well, Paddy's Irish Pub has plugged that hole." 222 00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,631 - That's a nice notice. - No, it's not nice. 223 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,724 I don't want to be plugging anybody's holes. 224 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,201 - I'm gonna have to agree with Mac. - Of course you are. 225 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,830 I made $300 last night. How much did you make? 226 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:24,103 First of all, that's rude. And that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. 227 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:26,110 It has everything to do with it. 228 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,612 I don't think we have much of a choice. We need to do this. 229 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:33,050 If you guys remember, one of the major reasons we got this bar was to get laid. 230 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:36,350 Maybe you did it to get laid. I got a little something I like to call business ethics. 231 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,791 Business ethics? The only reason you don't care is you have black girls hanging all over you. 232 00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,959 Okay, chill out. You're gonna screw it up. 233 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,897 Screw it up? I happen to have a date with a nice young lady today. 234 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,595 - Ouch. - It's a purely fiscal decision. 235 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,729 Oh, bullshit. You don't care about the money. You just like the attention. 236 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,673 - What the hell is that supposed to mean? - "Everybody look at me!" 237 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,642 You know exactly what I mean, pretty boy. 238 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,611 - Hey, handsome. - Hey, beautiful. 239 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,647 - Hey, sexy. - Hey, hoss. 240 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:06,151 - I just get along really well with those guys. - They're vibing. 241 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:09,949 No, you're leading them on. You're not gay, you're just really vain. 242 00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:12,991 Okay, time out. Here's what we should do. Let's take a vote. 243 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:14,992 - Fine. - Okay. 244 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:18,325 All those in favor of Paddy's Pub remaining a gay bar, say "aye." 245 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,331 - Aye. - Aye. Opposed? 246 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,334 - K-K-Keeping in mind that you don't get a vote. - Why? 247 00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:26,769 - Because you're the bartender. You're not one of the owners. - No, Sweet Dee gets a vote. 248 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:29,433 - No, she doesn't! - Of course I get a vote! 249 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:34,679 All owners opposed, say "nay." 250 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,682 All people who own the bar who are opposed, say "nay." 251 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,617 All people who own the bar who are opposed... 252 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,654 say "nay." 253 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,290 Nay. 254 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,326 - Two against one! Oh, well. - Ohh! 255 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,955 Paddy's Irish Pub will henceforth remain the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 256 00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,643 - Hey-hey! What's going on? - Hey! 257 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:09,943 - Look at you! You look good! - Oh, thank you. That's so sweet. 258 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,950 - So, where we going? - Well, I thought we'd go grab a drink. 259 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,646 - Oh, I want one so bad. - All righty! 260 00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,882 Oh, a coffee shop. 261 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,551 I thought you meant, like, a drink at a bar. 262 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,459 Yeah, absolutely. Uh, why don't you have a seat here. 263 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,464 I'll go get the coffee. What would you like? 264 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,659 - I don't really drink coffee. Let me see. - Totally. 265 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,672 What do you want, Charlie? 266 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,709 "What do you want, Charlie?" 267 00:14:37,776 --> 00:14:40,711 I'd like you to take a look at the lovely young African-American woman... 268 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:42,542 sitting at the table over there. 269 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,378 Okay. 270 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,578 That woman is my friend. 271 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,678 Wow. Good for you. 272 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:52,690 So, the other day when you heard me saying something... 273 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,192 about certain people hanging from said rafters... 274 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:58,127 I was quoting a friend of mine who also happens... 275 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:01,132 What are you trying to say? Spit it out. 276 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,636 Well, now that you know that I'm not racist, you and I could maybe go on... 277 00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,637 Dude, N-O. 278 00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:09,640 - How many times do I have to say it to you? - One time is fine. 279 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:13,906 - Apparently one time is not fine. - One time per time I ask you. 280 00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:16,072 Hey, what's going on up here? 281 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,116 Oh, not too much. 282 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:22,552 Charlie's using you to prove that he's not racist. Then he asked me out on a date. 283 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:25,351 Charlie, is this true? 284 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:30,920 Would that upset you if it was something that was true? 285 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,967 - You need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad. - I did! 286 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,471 - What'd he say? - He said thatJanell punched me in my eye! 287 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:42,473 All right, well, you need to keep that i... 288 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,475 - Wait. Her name's Janell? - Yeah. 289 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,478 JanellJenkins. She's got a hell of a right hand. 290 00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:51,482 She also said if she ever saw me again, she was going to slit my throat. 291 00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,882 Are you two seeing this? 292 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,944 Boys are out tonight, huh? 293 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,524 This is unbelievable. What is going on here? 294 00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:03,459 You got black women crawling all over you... 295 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,793 and this Mary here is the belle of the ball. 296 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:08,924 - Why do these people like you guys so much? - It's not that they like us. 297 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,936 It's that they don't like you. You know why? 298 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,063 Uh, because you're an asshole! 299 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:19,043 Is that true? 300 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,045 Yeah, kind of. 301 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,445 Can I talk to you in back for a second? 302 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:29,521 - What's up? - You know that girlJanell? I know her. 303 00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:33,285 - Okay. So what? - So I think I know how we can solve this whole gay mess. 304 00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:35,519 Great. How? 305 00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,529 We gotta start with Dennis. Can you get him so drunk tonight? On tequila. 306 00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:41,657 But a lot of it. Enough that maybe he might hurt himself. 307 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,702 - Yeah, sure. No problem. - All right. 308 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,330 - Where are you going? - I gotta talk to a couple friends from my acting class. 309 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:50,034 But seriously... blackout drunk. 310 00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,716 All right. Okay. 311 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,652 So you did the lime first, and then the shot, right? 312 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,281 No. No, no, no, no. Dude. 313 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,791 - You take the salt... - Take the salt. 314 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,794 And then you take the shot. 315 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,796 Okay. 316 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,924 - And then you suck on the lime. Okay? - Okay. 317 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,027 Why don't you show me again. 'Cause I'm getting a little bit confused. 318 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,971 - You lick it. - Salt. Lick it. 319 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,031 - And then you slam it. - Yeah? 320 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,850 Oh, that's great. 321 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,387 All right, so, I'm gonna do the shot first... 322 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:40,653 No, no, no, no... Oh... Oh, please, please, dude. You're not listening to me. 323 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,660 Well, I'm just not getting it, bro. 324 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,662 - You do the salt first. - The salt first. 325 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,665 - And then the lime. - Show me again, because I'm not... 326 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,463 The salt first. Then the lime. 327 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,884 Oh, God. 328 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,493 Hello. 329 00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:18,553 Mmm. 330 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,067 Nice. 331 00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:27,565 Beautiful. 332 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,879 Hello, lover. 333 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,881 Whoa! 334 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,679 What the hell! What is going on here? 335 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:43,084 Relax, stud. You got nothing to be ashamed about. 336 00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,123 What the f... What does that mean? 337 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,748 - Did we have... - No. No. 338 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:50,022 Don't be silly. It was all hands. 339 00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,825 How's that ass feelin'? 340 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,132 I'm really glad you decided to embrace this. 341 00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,138 - You're doing the right thing, bro. - I think so too, dude. 342 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:04,073 - I feel really good about broadening my horizons. - It's gonna be fun. 343 00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,167 - It's a good business decision. - Yeah! 344 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:10,147 I don't want to own a gay bar anymore. 345 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,843 What, dude? Oh, no. What happened? 346 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,853 Just, uh... I was doing some thinking and, you know... 347 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:19,379 We had our little experiment. It was great. But we should go back to normal. 348 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,985 Oh. You had an experiment, and you want to go back to the way it was before the experiment. 349 00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,995 - Interesting. - The bar. 350 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:28,726 We had our experiment with the bar, and it was great. Let's go back to normal. 351 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,735 You're done experimenting? Or are you gonna experiment some more? 352 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:34,363 - What is this experimenting? - Hey, Dennis! What's up? 353 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:36,373 Listen, I got you some new CDs. 354 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:40,036 'Cause the music you had in the jukebox was a little bit stale. 355 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,376 Also, we gotta get rid of these shamrocks. 356 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,382 'Cause nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap. 357 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:48,613 - Can we talk for a second in private? - Yeah. No problem. 358 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:52,555 So, listen, Terrell, it's not really working out. 359 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,149 - We're gonna have to let you go. - I thought you were happy. 360 00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:59,960 No, we were happy. But then Dennis had an experiment, and he wants to go back to normal. 361 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,729 Yeah, we had that experiment... Why do you keep saying it like that? 362 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,702 You guys are being ridiculous. 363 00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,638 Yeah, we're being ridiculous! We're making a lot of money! 364 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,267 - Yes! Thank you! - Look, everybody! Sweet Dee's here! 365 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,278 - Hey, everybody! - Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing here? 366 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:17,941 - Charlie? - What is going on here? You guys know each other? 367 00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:20,348 Yeah! That's the crazy bitch that punched me in my eye! 368 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,751 Charlie! That's my sister. 369 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,687 Now, just to clarify, when you say "sister," you mean... 370 00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,159 I mean my sister. 371 00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,219 Yes! Okay! This is great! 372 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:35,926 Because earlier you were implying that I was racist... 373 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:39,027 because you thought that I was implying that all black people are related. 374 00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,595 And then it turns out that you people actually are! 375 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:50,204 No, that's not what I meant. Hold on a second. I meant that you two actually are. 376 00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:53,615 Mac? Stop talkin'. 377 00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:01,620 Hundred and 11, hundred and 12, hundred and 13... 378 00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,627 $114! 379 00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:05,629 - On a Saturday night! - We're back to normal. 380 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,631 We are back to normal. 381 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:09,633 Mmm. 382 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:11,635 Dee, I gotta know. 383 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:15,639 What, exactly, did you tell those guys from your acting class to do to Dennis? 384 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:18,801 Oh, I forgot to tell you. That didn't work out. 385 00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:22,142 - What? - Yeah, I couldn't get ahold of those guys. 386 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,247 Then why was he so freaked out? 387 00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:28,479 How's that ass feelin'? 388 00:21:29,305 --> 00:21:35,469 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org