1
00:00:00,887 --> 00:00:03,487
<i>Admit it, dude.
You totally cried.</i>

2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,738
<i>I didn't cry, Charlie.</i>

3
00:00:04,851 --> 00:00:06,583
<i>I saw tears coming out of
your eye...</i>

4
00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:09,435
Extreme Home Makeover will
make the hardest man soft.

5
00:00:09,548 --> 00:00:10,855
Oh, it makes everybody cry.

6
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:12,696
- That is really ridiculous.
- Oh, is it?

7
00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:15,366
You're the biggest thief I've
ever met in my life.

8
00:00:15,479 --> 00:00:18,602
Dennis, do you know that she is
inheriting my house?

9
00:00:18,715 --> 00:00:21,777
Of course he knows it. He's the one who
lost the house by letting you into it.

10
00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:24,777
And now since I'm his next of
kin the house belongs to me.

11
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,649
Frank, if you want to get
your house back, check it out.

12
00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,858
Make a vision board, put your
house on it-- boom.

13
00:00:28,971 --> 00:00:31,239
- You get the house back.
- What the hell's a vision board?

14
00:00:31,325 --> 00:00:32,325
Oh, it's the secret.

15
00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:35,387
Yeah, the secret is a self-help book
that Dee read and explained to us.

16
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,697
It's about how you can get whatever
you want without having to work for it.

17
00:00:37,810 --> 00:00:40,535
Yeah, man, all you have to do is envision
all the shit in the world that you want,

18
00:00:40,648 --> 00:00:42,551
cut pictures of it out and paste it
on a board,

19
00:00:42,664 --> 00:00:44,286
- and then you get it. You get the stuff.
- Check it out.

20
00:00:44,399 --> 00:00:47,807
See how I got all these sweet pics of
Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover?

21
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,898
I'm gonna become like him.
I'm gonna have that dude's life.

22
00:00:50,011 --> 00:00:52,070
Yeah, now, that's Charlie's
vision, but it's not mine.

23
00:00:52,183 --> 00:00:54,750
You see, my vision is to have a
gorgeous yellow Lamborghini

24
00:00:54,863 --> 00:00:56,477
that I'm very much
looking forward to driving.

25
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,400
Yeah, and I'm gonna
impregnate Danica Patrick

26
00:00:58,513 --> 00:01:01,565
while getting drunk in the Sahara
Desert on a dune buggy.

27
00:01:03,124 --> 00:01:06,585
I hate to tell you this, but,
you know, this self-help stuff--

28
00:01:06,698 --> 00:01:08,888
it's all bullshit. It's a big scam.

29
00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:12,045
Oh, is it, Frank? That's funny,
'cause that's how I got the house.

30
00:01:12,158 --> 00:01:14,880
See, I envisioned the courts
recognizing how ridiculous it was

31
00:01:14,993 --> 00:01:17,386
that my son of a bitch, asshole
mother didn't leave me anything

32
00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:20,964
and then I did some good deeds
and boom, I'm rich. Mansion rich.

33
00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:22,177
Wait a second.

34
00:01:22,321 --> 00:01:24,479
You didn't say anything about doing
good deeds. Is that a part of this?

35
00:01:24,592 --> 00:01:25,673
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's part of it.

36
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,335
You have to do that.
You get back what you put in.

37
00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:28,789
Right!
That makes sense.

38
00:01:28,902 --> 00:01:31,320
That's probably why Ty
Pennington has such a sweet life.

39
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,901
- Yeah, man, and he's got great hair, too.
- Of course he's got great hair.

40
00:01:35,014 --> 00:01:37,009
You know, this has got me
thinking, guys.

41
00:01:37,122 --> 00:01:40,751
It could be really beneficial
for us to go out and actually

42
00:01:40,864 --> 00:01:42,869
- do some good deeds.
- Wait a second.

43
00:01:42,982 --> 00:01:45,620
Maybe helping other people is
the best way to help ourselves.

44
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:49,147
Right, right. So like what is the
best way you can help other people?

45
00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:51,741
The best way in the world to
help other people.

46
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:55,815
- What would Ty Pennington do?
- What would Ty Pennington do?

47
00:01:57,839 --> 00:02:02,568
Synchro: Criztian & Sososeries

48
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:10,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

49
00:02:30,788 --> 00:02:32,758
What the hell are you doin'
with my bowling ball?

50
00:02:32,871 --> 00:02:35,113
It's no longer a bowling ball,
Frank, it's now a wrecking ball.

51
00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:39,371
We're gonna use it to tear down a house
and then we're gonna build up a dream.

52
00:02:39,484 --> 00:02:42,137
Yeah, baby. And then we get our
Lamborghinis and our Danica Patricks and...

53
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,515
- Whatever we want.
- Ooh, you guys.

54
00:02:43,628 --> 00:02:44,995
I want to jump in on this if
that's okay,

55
00:02:45,108 --> 00:02:47,204
'cause I ran the numbers and I'm gonna
need a butt load of money

56
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:49,075
to pay the property taxes
on my new mansion.

57
00:02:49,188 --> 00:02:51,704
- My mansion.
- Jesus, Frank, really still?

58
00:02:51,817 --> 00:02:53,142
Why do you care?
You don't even want to live there.

59
00:02:53,255 --> 00:02:55,277
That's not the point,
Deandra-- the point is

60
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:57,010
it is my house and I should own it!

61
00:02:57,123 --> 00:03:00,168
I'll tell you what. Help us out and the
universe'll probably give it back to you.

62
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,973
I don't think so, Charlie. See, I'm
operating at a much higher vibration

63
00:03:03,086 --> 00:03:05,729
which I think is gonna counteract
his attempts at positive energy.

64
00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:06,825
I'll keep the house.

65
00:03:06,904 --> 00:03:09,939
You think that your energy's
more positive than mine?

66
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:11,010
Uh, yeah.

67
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:13,278
I want in on this so I can
screw over Deandra.

68
00:03:13,391 --> 00:03:14,737
You know what, man?
Perfect,

69
00:03:14,850 --> 00:03:16,784
because we were planning
on using your construction experience

70
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,202
and your connections anyway.

71
00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:20,161
- I'll be the foreman.
- Yeah, great, excellent.

72
00:03:20,274 --> 00:03:22,298
Well, then why don't you hop on
the renovations with Charlie

73
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,731
and I-- Mac, why don't you get
started on the family makeover with Dee.

74
00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:29,051
Family makeover with Dee? No, I want
to be a part of the renovation team.

75
00:03:29,164 --> 00:03:30,787
I know you do, but the thing
is...

76
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:34,923
You get so excited about the smashing
and then you make it competitive.

77
00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:36,518
- You turn it into a competition.
- That's bullshit,

78
00:03:36,631 --> 00:03:38,133
because I'm a better
smasher than you guys!

79
00:03:38,246 --> 00:03:39,931
I should be on the head of the
smashing team!

80
00:03:40,044 --> 00:03:42,402
- You want to have a smash off?
- A smash off?!

81
00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:44,838
- You can't even help yourself, can you?
- Okay, fine, fine.

82
00:03:44,951 --> 00:03:46,442
Dee and I are gonna kick your
ass, okay.

83
00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:49,964
Because our makeover is gonna be
so much more extreme than yours.

84
00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:52,164
Well, now hold on a second.
Charlie,

85
00:03:52,277 --> 00:03:54,136
our renovations are
gonna be pretty extreme, right?

86
00:03:54,249 --> 00:03:56,292
Let's-let's all agree that
we're gonna go about this

87
00:03:56,405 --> 00:03:58,336
in the most extreme way
possible, okay.

88
00:03:58,449 --> 00:04:01,532
First things first, let's find a family
to unleash our extremeness all over.

89
00:04:01,645 --> 00:04:04,632
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a desperate family
that's gonna yield us the highest return.

90
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,539
How about the Mexican family
that moved in down the block?

91
00:04:07,652 --> 00:04:10,761
Right. What is their name?
The Juarez family I think.

92
00:04:10,874 --> 00:04:13,046
Oh, that's perfect!
We can help the Juarez family.

93
00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:14,341
- Great. Great.
- They're good, they're good.

94
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,622
Their place is a real shit-hole.

95
00:04:15,735 --> 00:04:17,955
Okay, great, then the Juarez
family it is. It's settled.

96
00:04:18,068 --> 00:04:21,242
Okay, okay, and I think I know the
most extreme way to go about this.

97
00:04:24,343 --> 00:04:26,127
Okay, Dee, you got the
blindfolds, right?

98
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,533
Well, do you guys think that
the blindfolds

99
00:04:27,646 --> 00:04:29,503
- are absolutely necessary?
- Yes, the blindfolds are necessary.

100
00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,800
They're there to heighten the
sense of surprise and excitement

101
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:34,188
creating an enjoyable experience
for the family-- extreme!

102
00:04:34,301 --> 00:04:37,040
Okay, but here's the thing.
I couldn't find any blindfolds per say,

103
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:38,881
but I did bring some plastic bags.

104
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:42,186
Ok, here we go, bitchies...

105
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:46,561
Go! Go! Go! Go!

106
00:04:47,415 --> 00:04:50,474
<i>Good morning, Juarez family!</i>

107
00:04:51,627 --> 00:04:54,409
Wake up, my brown friend.
It's time to change your life.

108
00:04:54,522 --> 00:04:55,648
Yeah!

109
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:58,120
Is that inspirational music,
what is that?

110
00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,808
Yeah, man, inspirational.

111
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:01,750
All right, that's cool.
That's cool, I guess.

112
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:03,897
Come here, you little rug rat.

113
00:05:04,702 --> 00:05:05,883
What are you doing?

114
00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:08,251
What's wrong, buddy?
Come on, I'm trying to help you.

115
00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:10,011
Hey, where's your wife?
Come on!

116
00:05:10,124 --> 00:05:11,798
Look, I'm gonna fix your house.

117
00:05:12,382 --> 00:05:14,139
Where's your daughter?
Where's your daughter?

118
00:05:14,252 --> 00:05:18,049
<i>Congratulations!
We've got a surprise for you.</i>

119
00:05:19,079 --> 00:05:20,684
Okay, hold still.

120
00:05:20,797 --> 00:05:22,988
Can't run from
the kindness of strangers.

121
00:05:23,101 --> 00:05:27,414
<i>We are taking over your house.
Your house is ours now!</i>

122
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:30,089
<i>Your lives are gonna change
forever.</i>

123
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,998
- Oh, it feels good to help people.
- Oh, man, it sure does.

124
00:05:34,263 --> 00:05:36,083
<i>Okay, bag 'em.</i>

125
00:05:36,663 --> 00:05:41,217
<i>And good-bye, Juarez family.</i>

126
00:05:41,330 --> 00:05:43,937
Yeah, all right!
Good job! Good job!

127
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:46,680
- Hey, foreman, what's the plan?
- Mr. Foreman.

128
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:47,740
- The plan?
- Yeah.

129
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:50,299
You guys get to work.
I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds

130
00:05:50,412 --> 00:05:52,492
and get some shut-eye.
I'm running on fumes.

131
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:54,982
Hey, man, there's no time for that.
We're on a deadline here.

132
00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:56,321
Now, when's your crew arriving?

133
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,087
My crew, what crew?

134
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,344
The construction crew.
When do those guys get here?

135
00:06:00,457 --> 00:06:02,088
You-you're the crew.

136
00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:05,712
That's the way I do it.
I hire two guys and let them sweat it out.

137
00:06:05,853 --> 00:06:08,743
All right, now, keep it down
because I'm a very light sleeper.

138
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:15,025
Welcome to makeover
headquarters, Juarez family!

139
00:06:15,138 --> 00:06:17,369
This is gonna be your home for
the next couple of days.

140
00:06:17,482 --> 00:06:19,818
Hey, in order to assimilate
you with American culture,

141
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,689
we've decided to surround
you with all things American.

142
00:06:22,802 --> 00:06:24,963
Now who's ready for a makeover?

143
00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,122
This one is.

144
00:06:27,527 --> 00:06:29,911
- Um, not that excited.
- No, not that excited at all.

145
00:06:30,719 --> 00:06:33,133
I... okay, I think there
might be a bit of a language barrier.

146
00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:35,181
- Well, that could be an issue.
- Well, no, no, no, no.

147
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,903
No, hold up, uh, somebody took a
couple years of Spanish in high school.

148
00:06:39,016 --> 00:06:40,364
- Okay, you rember?
- I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs

149
00:06:40,477 --> 00:06:41,967
and see if I can fire
off a couple phrases.

150
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,793
Tell them, um, to relax first off
'cause they look a little tense.

151
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,305
And then, uh, we're gonna build
them a new house

152
00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:50,004
and a new life just like
on Extreme Makeover on TV.

153
00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:51,423
Okay, okay.

154
00:06:51,632 --> 00:06:53,945
Juarez, be easy.

155
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,658
Your house is no more.

156
00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:59,261
Your life is no more.

157
00:06:59,374 --> 00:07:01,851
We are extreme.

158
00:07:02,139 --> 00:07:04,003
Like television.

159
00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:05,619
Yes?

160
00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:07,592
Yes?

161
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:09,581
- Yes!
- See, they get it.

162
00:07:09,743 --> 00:07:11,206
- I still got it.
- They get it.

163
00:07:11,319 --> 00:07:14,170
We are extreme!

164
00:07:14,405 --> 00:07:15,732
Yeah, America!

165
00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:20,680
I'll tell you what, man, the
more I look at this place,

166
00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:22,909
the nicer I think it is, you know?
It's a nice place.

167
00:07:23,022 --> 00:07:24,693
No, it's a very charming,
charming place.

168
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,378
- What are you doing, dude?
- What do you mean?

169
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,031
- Why are you smashing stuff?
- I smashed it.

170
00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,530
It's important that
we get rid of anything

171
00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:34,129
that will remind the Juarez
family of their old country.

172
00:07:34,242 --> 00:07:37,219
Bro, they're Americans now.
Americans don't hold on to the past.

173
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,615
Oh, the past isn't useful.
You got to forget about it.

174
00:07:39,728 --> 00:07:41,841
- Okay, the past isn't...
- We got to gut this entire place.

175
00:07:41,954 --> 00:07:44,551
Here's what I'm thinking now.
After we got done smashing all their

176
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,900
old shit, I'm thinking we take out
this wall. You know what I mean?

177
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:50,893
- Just let the room breathe a little bit.
- Okay, and you think that's better than just, like,

178
00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:54,032
- ripping the whole house down, just...
- Yeah, why...

179
00:07:54,145 --> 00:07:56,786
- ...tearing the whole thing down?
- Were you planning on destroying the entire house?

180
00:07:56,899 --> 00:07:58,690
- Yeah.
- We can't demolish the entire house.

181
00:07:58,803 --> 00:07:59,803
That's what they do on
Extreme Makeover.

182
00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:02,505
- They rip the whole house down.
- Do you know how to build an entire house?

183
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,493
- No, I don't know how to...
- I know.

184
00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:06,541
Well, I hadn't thought that far...
we would have to build a whole house.

185
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,660
- Yeah, we would have to build a new...
- I can't build a whole house.

186
00:08:08,773 --> 00:08:10,468
You know what, let's just
smash the one wall.

187
00:08:10,581 --> 00:08:12,526
And then, we'll throw a
couple layers of paint up,

188
00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,875
- and then we'll get our Lamborghinis and...
- Okay, good.

189
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,489
Let me see if the lamp takes
a little dent out of it.

190
00:08:17,602 --> 00:08:19,749
And... here comes the pitch.

191
00:08:21,766 --> 00:08:23,763
- Oh, it didn't really dent the wall, though.
- No, but it did break the lamp,

192
00:08:23,876 --> 00:08:24,927
- and that's part of this.
- It did break the lamp.

193
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,356
- I'm gonna break this.
- What's...

194
00:08:26,469 --> 00:08:28,275
what's all the racket down here?

195
00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:30,489
Hey, some of us are trying to
do some work here, Frank.

196
00:08:30,602 --> 00:08:31,983
I don't know if you noticed.

197
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:34,783
Has anybody scored on their
vision board yet?

198
00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,960
How on Earth can we score on
our vision boards...

199
00:08:37,073 --> 00:08:39,532
- We just started.
- Yeah, we've been doing this for like 30 minutes.

200
00:08:39,826 --> 00:08:42,790
30 minutes? I feel like
I've been sleeping for a day.

201
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,923
That broke bastard's
bed is soft as shit.

202
00:08:46,866 --> 00:08:48,929
You think they got any beer in
the icebox?

203
00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:51,906
- I could drink a swimming pool.
- Frank, you are a terrible foreman.

204
00:08:52,019 --> 00:08:53,564
You know what,
back me up on this, Charlie.

205
00:08:53,677 --> 00:08:55,078
- You're out of here, dude.
- I think so.

206
00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:57,658
- You're... you're done.
- You can't kick the foreman out.

207
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,751
I'm the foreman.
I tell you what to do.

208
00:08:59,864 --> 00:09:01,430
- That's the way it works.
- Oh, really?

209
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:02,987
- Yeah.
- You're gonna tell me how it works?

210
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,974
- Yeah.
- I watch Extreme Home Makeover.

211
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,811
- I know how it works. What?
- Charlie!

212
00:09:06,924 --> 00:09:11,175
That show is just a bunch
of manipulation to get people to cry,

213
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:14,151
and then, they trick the
viewers into buying shit.

214
00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:16,156
Buying shit?
What are you talking about?

215
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:18,430
That show is about how awesome
Sears is!

216
00:09:18,543 --> 00:09:20,690
And how much Sears products
save people's lives!

217
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,580
And it's about caring and Sears
and...

218
00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:24,130
Okay, I'm not...

219
00:09:24,579 --> 00:09:26,373
Now, you don't see Ty Pennington
losing his cool.

220
00:09:26,486 --> 00:09:27,812
- Do you want to be like him?
- Yeah.

221
00:09:27,925 --> 00:09:30,491
All right, well, then, just breathe for me.
Feel what I'm doing.

222
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,823
Yeah, dude, I just...

223
00:09:31,936 --> 00:09:34,718
I'm sorry, bro, but I get very
passionate about Sears...

224
00:09:34,831 --> 00:09:37,975
I mean,Extreme Home Make...
I mean, what... what...

225
00:09:39,096 --> 00:09:40,852
- Helping people.
- Helping people.

226
00:09:42,027 --> 00:09:43,408
Don't stop.

227
00:09:47,391 --> 00:09:49,618
I don't understand
why this is happening.

228
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,676
Our visas came through, yes?

229
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:54,711
I don't think these people are the INS.

230
00:09:54,824 --> 00:09:57,249
I think we're been kidnapped.

231
00:10:01,532 --> 00:10:02,969
Baseball.

232
00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:07,203
Frank, what the hell are you
doing here?

233
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:10,026
Those dick wads threw me off
my own work site.

234
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:13,374
So, how's the old vision board coming?
You getting everything you want?

235
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,705
No, actually, we just started
the whole makeover process.

236
00:10:15,818 --> 00:10:17,513
Yeah, we realized the reason
why the Juarez family

237
00:10:17,626 --> 00:10:21,052
hasn't achieved the American dream yet is
because they haven't envisioned it strong enough.

238
00:10:21,165 --> 00:10:23,517
Right, so we're having them do
their own visions board, so here.

239
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:25,560
Why don't you be a lamb and pass
out some materials.

240
00:10:25,673 --> 00:10:27,484
- What?
- Be helpful.

241
00:10:27,597 --> 00:10:29,936
Do something positive with your
life, piece of shit.

242
00:10:30,049 --> 00:10:33,026
Magazines, magazines.
Here-- magazines.

243
00:10:33,139 --> 00:10:35,054
And cut them out with this.

244
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,402
- What are you looking at?
- She doesn't understand what you're saying.

245
00:10:37,515 --> 00:10:39,308
No, no, you got to say, "Corta".
That means "cut".

246
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,560
Corta, corta!

247
00:10:47,406 --> 00:10:49,949
I am gonna blast your face off.

248
00:10:50,062 --> 00:10:52,291
- Okay, what did you...
- No one's gonna blast your face.

249
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,307
No one's gonna do that.
What did you say to her?

250
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,172
I said what you said to say to her,

251
00:10:56,285 --> 00:10:58,530
and she stabbed me in the leg
with the goddamn scissors.

252
00:10:58,643 --> 00:11:00,364
- Deal with it.
- All right, all right, okay.

253
00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:05,015
Lower your cutting tool, please.

254
00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:08,643
Man is crazy with gun

255
00:11:08,756 --> 00:11:10,440
Right?

256
00:11:10,553 --> 00:11:14,123
And make danger for all of us.

257
00:11:14,553 --> 00:11:16,197
- Yes.
- Okay, careful, watch it.

258
00:11:17,995 --> 00:11:20,793
Don't make man hurt you.

259
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:21,834
- Yes?
- Yes, yes.

260
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,104
- That makes sense, yeah?
- They got it.

261
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,364
I'm really good at this.

262
00:11:28,219 --> 00:11:30,881
Dennis, yo.
Last-minute thing.

263
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,382
God, I have this brilliant idea.

264
00:11:32,495 --> 00:11:34,468
We need a project for him, dude.

265
00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:37,520
You know, we got ourselves a
little Mexican girl here, and I'm thinking...

266
00:11:37,633 --> 00:11:40,477
what does a little Mexican girl love
more than anything else in the world?

267
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,691
- Tacos.
- Tacos, buddy.

268
00:11:42,804 --> 00:11:45,286
So, why not make for her a taco bed?

269
00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:46,577
- You know what I mean?
- Okay.

270
00:11:46,612 --> 00:11:48,925
She gets to, like, be in
a taco every day.

271
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,189
So, okay, I got yellow sheets...
that's cheese.

272
00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:53,859
Green: guacamole.
Red: a little pillow for salsa.

273
00:11:53,942 --> 00:11:56,026
And I got these cute little
brown PJs so that she gets

274
00:11:56,109 --> 00:11:57,800
to feel like ground meat
while she's sleeping.

275
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,546
- She's the ground meat in the middle.
- She's the ground meat in the middle.

276
00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,470
I like that, man.
That's a good idea.

277
00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,569
What is this blowtorch for, man?

278
00:12:04,652 --> 00:12:06,065
Well, that's a propane torch.

279
00:12:06,148 --> 00:12:08,322
That thing's badass, man.
It's like a flamethrower.

280
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,343
But what function is it
gonna serve in the home?

281
00:12:10,426 --> 00:12:12,352
It's for the renovation, man.
It's for the controlled burns.

282
00:12:12,639 --> 00:12:14,532
I don't think they do
controlled burns, man.

283
00:12:14,615 --> 00:12:16,997
Are you kidding me? Bro, they
definitely do controlled burns.

284
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,817
- They do it off screen.
- Off screen.

285
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,823
How do you think they tear
down an entire wall so quickly?

286
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:21,651
They burn it up.

287
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,405
The community has got a
lot to do with it, and then,

288
00:12:23,488 --> 00:12:24,951
maybe it's for burning the
extra rubble.

289
00:12:25,034 --> 00:12:25,924
It's for tearing stuff down.

290
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:27,055
- Are you sure we need it?
- They take stuff outside and...

291
00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:27,958
I'm not sure we...

292
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:29,585
I'm buying it. So, go ahead
and ring that up.

293
00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:31,208
What are we looking at here?

294
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:33,717
That will be $3,212.11.

295
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,405
We're just gonna go
ahead and put all this

296
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,483
on the Extreme Home
Makeover account.

297
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,770
Ring it up.

298
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,802
I have no idea what you're
talking about.

299
00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:43,214
Really?

300
00:12:43,508 --> 00:12:45,074
We're performing an extreme
home makeover.

301
00:12:45,157 --> 00:12:46,810
So, do you not have
a button for that?

302
00:12:46,893 --> 00:12:48,362
We're helping out
a family in need, okay?

303
00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:49,430
We're gonna do some good deeds.

304
00:12:49,513 --> 00:12:50,910
You know, we got
a vision board thing going.

305
00:12:50,993 --> 00:12:52,308
This is a legitimate
operation, okay?

306
00:12:52,391 --> 00:12:54,026
This is the real deal.
I got a whole taco bed.

307
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:57,655
You know what... if you just give us
the stuff, we'll be on our way.

308
00:12:58,042 --> 00:13:00,529
I'm sorry, we don't just
give stuff away.

309
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:04,377
I don't know why
you're breaking my balls here.

310
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:06,537
Sears does this, okay?
Sears gives people stuff.

311
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,314
Sears doesn't get
anything out of it.

312
00:13:08,397 --> 00:13:09,765
Sears doesn't come in and start...

313
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:11,144
Look, we don't have
any money, okay?

314
00:13:11,227 --> 00:13:12,100
What are we supposed to do here?

315
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,634
I don't know what
to tell you.

316
00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:17,084
If you don't have a bad credit history,
you can open up a store credit card.

317
00:13:18,391 --> 00:13:19,988
Credit card, huh?

318
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:25,074
All right, just go ahead and
sign right there, and we're all set.

319
00:13:25,157 --> 00:13:26,082
Now, this is smart.

320
00:13:26,165 --> 00:13:28,884
The first step to becoming an
American... get a credit card.

321
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,053
We need this guy to build up
copious amounts of debt.

322
00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:32,553
That is the best way for him to
build up his credit.

323
00:13:32,636 --> 00:13:34,422
- We're doing him a favor.
- We're doing him a huge favor.

324
00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:35,758
And do you realize how
extreme this is?

325
00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:38,246
To go from no debt to good
old-fashioned American debt?

326
00:13:38,329 --> 00:13:39,195
That's the way to do it.

327
00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:41,689
Plus, I've been envisioning
someone else paying

328
00:13:41,772 --> 00:13:42,981
for thing the entire time.

329
00:13:43,064 --> 00:13:45,433
I'm also envisioning him
unloading all the shit into the car.

330
00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:46,620
Well, that's a great vision.

331
00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:48,860
Guys, no can do.
We're on a very tight schedule.

332
00:13:48,943 --> 00:13:51,080
By the way, does anyone know
why the hell Frank

333
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,541
has been pointing
a camera at us?

334
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:55,557
I'll tell you why. Because
I'm tired of this secret bullshit.

335
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,823
All it got me was
a stab wound in the leg.

336
00:13:57,906 --> 00:13:59,891
So, I'm gonna record
everything you do.

337
00:13:59,974 --> 00:14:02,650
- Why?
- Because I know you're gonna fail.

338
00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:04,211
Then, I can watch it over and
over again.

339
00:14:04,294 --> 00:14:04,853
- That's ridiculous.
- Whatever, Frank.

340
00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:06,874
You know, I'm glad you're
getting all this on tape because

341
00:14:06,957 --> 00:14:09,445
then we'll have proof of how
amazingly generous we're being today.

342
00:14:09,528 --> 00:14:10,985
You're going to prove that
the secret is real.

343
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:13,793
Gentlemen, we are all done here,
so I'm gonna roll 'cause we got to...

344
00:14:13,876 --> 00:14:15,594
- Thank you very much.
- Let's go ahead and let's do this.

345
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:16,975
- Mostgracias.
- Good luck.

346
00:14:17,058 --> 00:14:18,560
All right, you got
the store card now.

347
00:14:18,643 --> 00:14:20,074
Let's go ahead and ring that up.

348
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,114
Bro, I'm not sure I have
the right look here.

349
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:24,217
No, you do, man.

350
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,883
You just got to start thinking of the
tool belt as an extension of yourself.

351
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,526
It needs to reflect you
as an individual.

352
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:29,135
Do you feel that?

353
00:14:29,218 --> 00:14:30,544
- Is that all that it is?
- That's all it is.

354
00:14:30,627 --> 00:14:31,703
All right, let me ask you a
question, then.

355
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,644
How come you have that
awesome fray in your shorts?

356
00:14:33,727 --> 00:14:35,277
I don't have that.

357
00:14:35,488 --> 00:14:38,491
That, sir, is becauseyou
purchased blue jean shorts

358
00:14:38,574 --> 00:14:40,628
whereas I purchased
blue jeans and cut 'em.

359
00:14:40,816 --> 00:14:41,579
Thus, the fray.

360
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,061
It's a more authentic look.
I think that's what you're feeling.

361
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,135
Why did you cut them so high?

362
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,236
Way higher than mine.

363
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,328
I thought you might ask that.

364
00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:49,272
See, it limits restriction of
leg movement.

365
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,397
You're going to get more work done
'cause you got more leg movement.

366
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:52,220
Well, are you sure about that?

367
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:53,464
Let me do a little
demonstration on you.

368
00:14:53,547 --> 00:14:54,362
Take the tool belt
off for a second.

369
00:14:54,445 --> 00:14:56,171
Let me, let me, let me just
demonstrate something.

370
00:14:56,254 --> 00:14:56,840
Let's get it down.

371
00:14:56,923 --> 00:14:57,721
Take a wide stance.

372
00:14:57,804 --> 00:14:59,994
Take the widest stance that you possibly
can and let me see what that looks like.

373
00:15:00,077 --> 00:15:00,663
Leg movement.

374
00:15:00,746 --> 00:15:02,412
- This is, uh...
- Go as wide as you can.

375
00:15:02,495 --> 00:15:04,361
If I'm going wide and I'm
being honest with you...

376
00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:06,316
I'm maxing out about here.

377
00:15:06,399 --> 00:15:09,803
That's not bad...
but check this out.

378
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:12,477
Go, go, go.

379
00:15:14,356 --> 00:15:15,435
Any more?

380
00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:17,103
That's it, but that's pretty
wide, right?

381
00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:18,224
- That is good, you know...
- Looks good, right?

382
00:15:18,307 --> 00:15:20,128
And you're not getting
any high ride.

383
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,362
- I'm getting a high ride.
- That's a better...

384
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:24,531
But the shorts aren't preventing me
from doing what I need to do.

385
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:25,634
And that's the shorts.

386
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,795
That's exactly right, man,
and see, your shorts.

387
00:15:27,878 --> 00:15:28,663
They're holding you back, man.

388
00:15:28,746 --> 00:15:31,576
That and your hips, but I got to
tell you, the shorts aren't helping.

389
00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,900
This, this is really all good shit.

390
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:35,850
This is like gold.

391
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:36,948
So what are you going
to do next?

392
00:15:37,031 --> 00:15:38,439
- You are catching all this, right?
- I got everything.

393
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,165
This is what we're gonna do next.
Grab me that propane torch.

394
00:15:40,248 --> 00:15:41,880
- I'm gonna burn the wall.
- You know what?

395
00:15:41,963 --> 00:15:44,268
Let's go at it with the wrecking
ball for a little while.

396
00:15:44,351 --> 00:15:46,616
It'd be more extreme and kind
of awesome.

397
00:15:46,699 --> 00:15:48,026
Okay, all right, let's do
that, then.

398
00:15:48,109 --> 00:15:49,775
All right, you do the wrecking
ball thing... Check this out.

399
00:15:49,858 --> 00:15:51,061
I'm gonna do a little
introduction thing,

400
00:15:51,144 --> 00:15:53,057
- and then you do the wrecking ball.
- Do you want to wear the belt?

401
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:54,465
All right, I'm gonna be the
only one wearing the belt?

402
00:15:54,548 --> 00:15:55,499
Just jeans and no shirt.

403
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:57,960
Wait, can I see the
stance one more time?

404
00:16:00,825 --> 00:16:02,336
That... I can go lower.

405
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,644
Bro, that is bad ass.

406
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:08,727
Yours wedged in, too?

407
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:10,151
Mine's completely wedged in there.

408
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:12,206
We can't even get anything
past the surface of this thing.

409
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:15,207
There's, like, a hard surface
past the thin surface.

410
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:16,632
Concrete or brick
or something...

411
00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:19,240
I was envisioning this being a lot
easier than it's turning out to be.

412
00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:21,459
- Abso...
- Use the blowtorch.

413
00:16:22,175 --> 00:16:23,254
Great, it's time.

414
00:16:23,337 --> 00:16:24,466
Hang on a second.

415
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:25,978
- Let me grab the flamethrower.
- Hold on a second, time out.

416
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:28,151
Wait, I think I know
what the problem is.

417
00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:29,981
Look, I'm the one who
watches Home Makeover.

418
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:31,273
I think I know what
we're not doing right here.

419
00:16:31,356 --> 00:16:31,782
What?

420
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,227
We haven't brought the
neighborhood in yet.

421
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:35,904
Absolutely great idea.
Bring the neighbors in.

422
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:37,935
Oh, my neighbors are great.

423
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:00,562
So did the neighborhood rob us?

424
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,246
Did the neighborhood rob us ?

425
00:17:02,329 --> 00:17:03,937
And they took
my goddamn tool belt.

426
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,183
I could not have anticipated...

427
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:06,924
Look into the camera
and cry a little.

428
00:17:07,007 --> 00:17:08,917
You have been in our face
with that camera, man.

429
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,127
You know what,
man, you know what?

430
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,182
Just... get me the flamethrower.

431
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,671
I'm so sick of this wall,
I want to burn it up now.

432
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:15,752
Okay, it's time.

433
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,700
There's also a fire
extinguisher, too.

434
00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:18,210
Great.

435
00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:20,100
- I think we should use this, man.
- I think we should, too.

436
00:17:20,183 --> 00:17:21,756
So here's how this is going
to go down.

437
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:23,658
- I will light a fire on the wall.
- On the wall.

438
00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:25,089
Have that extinguisher ready,
'cause

439
00:17:25,172 --> 00:17:28,141
I don't want the fire to spread
past the parameters of this wall.

440
00:17:28,224 --> 00:17:30,325
I will create a parameter
with the fire extinguisher.

441
00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:31,289
It's the only safe way
to do this, okay?

442
00:17:31,372 --> 00:17:32,358
It'll be perfectly safe.

443
00:17:32,441 --> 00:17:34,165
Then, once the wall's all
weakened from the burned-up fires,

444
00:17:34,248 --> 00:17:36,290
then we're going to kick
it to pieces, smash it to bits,

445
00:17:36,373 --> 00:17:38,256
and take the rubble outside and
probably burn that, too.

446
00:17:38,421 --> 00:17:39,374
And then I'll put it out with this.

447
00:17:39,457 --> 00:17:41,109
Perfect, and then
I'll get started on my taco bed.

448
00:17:41,192 --> 00:17:41,914
That sounds good.

449
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:45,390
Before you do that, why
don't you open that window

450
00:17:45,473 --> 00:17:47,762
over there and get
a nice backdraft?

451
00:17:49,071 --> 00:17:50,586
Now he wants
to start helping us.

452
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,652
That's the first sensible
thing you've said all day, Frank.

453
00:17:52,735 --> 00:17:53,955
It's extreme, just like we are.

454
00:17:54,647 --> 00:17:55,926
Go crank open a window.

455
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,346
Let's get a backdraft going.
Frank, you ready?

456
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:02,608
I've never been ready for
anything more in my entire life.

457
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,404
Well, all right.

458
00:18:04,487 --> 00:18:05,813
Let's do this.

459
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:13,216
I think we have successfully
pulled off one extreme makeover.

460
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:15,466
Yeah, I love their eyes.

461
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,575
Now, while we wait, I was
thinking we expose them to some

462
00:18:19,658 --> 00:18:21,360
good old-fashioned American cinema.

463
00:18:21,443 --> 00:18:22,663
Apocalypto.

464
00:18:22,746 --> 00:18:25,097
They can learn about how their
ancestors used to be savages

465
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:28,502
until Mel Gibson and the Catholics
came in and saved everybody.

466
00:18:30,253 --> 00:18:32,038
Hey, you're just in time.

467
00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:36,030
Why don't you point that video camera
at the new and improved Juarez family?

468
00:18:37,156 --> 00:18:39,341
They look freaky as shit.

469
00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:41,501
Wait till you get a load of
their ancestors.

470
00:18:41,584 --> 00:18:43,849
Pop a squat, bro, 'cause we're
going to watch a sweet-ass flick.

471
00:18:43,932 --> 00:18:45,704
I got something better to do.

472
00:18:45,787 --> 00:18:47,958
Bag 'em and bring 'em with us.
Come on.

473
00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,120
Yes, let's go.
In fact,

474
00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:52,373
bag yourselves, too,
because I want this to be a surprise.

475
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,724
Come on, right this way.

476
00:18:56,807 --> 00:18:58,204
Keep walking straight...

477
00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:00,438
Goddamn, it's hard to breathe
in these bags.

478
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,540
Okay, hold it right here.

479
00:19:02,623 --> 00:19:04,219
All right, now, excuse me.

480
00:19:04,618 --> 00:19:06,179
Please come over here,
the family.

481
00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:07,469
I want you on this side.

482
00:19:07,552 --> 00:19:09,220
My head is sweating like shit.

483
00:19:09,303 --> 00:19:10,677
Take the bags off.

484
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,726
You got, you got a bus,
just like in the show.

485
00:19:15,809 --> 00:19:17,402
It's all about the reveal.

486
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:18,286
Ready?

487
00:19:18,369 --> 00:19:21,450
One... two... three !

488
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:23,144
Move that bus!

489
00:19:45,054 --> 00:19:46,392
Unbelievable.

490
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,596
I cannot believe the judge made me
give my mansion to the Juarez family.

491
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,420
I can't believe their name
isn't Juarez.

492
00:19:53,503 --> 00:19:54,898
Was anyone else surprised by that?

493
00:19:54,981 --> 00:19:55,803
Shocker.

494
00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:57,788
Well, you know, it's a, it's
a broken system we got here.

495
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,373
But at least we managed to
avoid arson charges, right?

496
00:20:00,456 --> 00:20:01,488
That's good, yeah.

497
00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:03,791
Frank, I guess you're right.
The secret's bullshit, huh?

498
00:20:03,874 --> 00:20:07,080
You try to help people and
you just wind up getting screwed.

499
00:20:08,305 --> 00:20:14,379
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