1 00:00:02,949 --> 00:00:06,390 Come one, Come all to a beautiful show 2 00:00:06,503 --> 00:00:10,055 It's gonna be awesome and... Some other stuff 3 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,755 Some other musical stuff. 4 00:00:16,443 --> 00:00:18,793 - What you doing, buddy? - I wrote a musical. 5 00:00:19,163 --> 00:00:21,657 - You wrote a musical? - Why, why did you do that? 6 00:00:21,770 --> 00:00:25,927 Just to write a musical. Does there have to be a reason? I don't think so. 7 00:00:26,116 --> 00:00:28,990 Yeah, there does. Nobody writes a musical for no reason. That doesn't make sense. 8 00:00:29,103 --> 00:00:31,488 All right, this guy did, so there you go. 9 00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:33,130 Who's the mark? 10 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,217 - What? - Yeah. 11 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,051 No, there's no... there's no mark, guys. 12 00:00:37,164 --> 00:00:39,356 I wrote a musical. It's pretty damn good, okay? 13 00:00:39,469 --> 00:00:41,129 - I want to put it on. - Right. What's your angle? 14 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,255 - I don't have an angle. - Whose face are we shoving this musical in? 15 00:00:43,368 --> 00:00:44,685 You don't shove a musical in someone's face. 16 00:00:44,798 --> 00:00:46,456 - What are you talking about? - But who versus? 17 00:00:46,569 --> 00:00:48,032 Who are we doing it versus? 18 00:00:48,145 --> 00:00:49,621 Oh, my God, are you guys going to make this about this? 19 00:00:49,734 --> 00:00:53,011 Look, I just wrote a musical to write a musical, okay? 20 00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:55,006 I don't have a ulterior motive here. 21 00:00:55,119 --> 00:00:58,095 I'm not trying to screw anyone or gain anything out of it. 22 00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,652 You know what, if you guys don't want to be in it, 23 00:00:59,765 --> 00:01:01,652 I can find other people to play your parts. 24 00:01:02,098 --> 00:01:03,136 Hang on there, pal. 25 00:01:03,249 --> 00:01:05,253 Hang on. Hang on. We're just trying to wrap our heads around this. 26 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,794 Yeah, there's no reason to give away our parts, okay? 27 00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:10,645 - All right. - No, we'll do it. What's it called? 28 00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:13,587 The Nightman Cometh. 29 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:18,947 Synchro by Criztian and Sososeries The Bitches Team 30 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:26,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 31 00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:47,444 Okay, gather around. 32 00:01:47,557 --> 00:01:50,385 {\pos(192,125)}Please, everybody. Let's gather down front. 33 00:01:50,498 --> 00:01:53,744 {\pos(192,200)}I feel the magic Do you feel the magic? 34 00:01:53,894 --> 00:01:54,923 Here we go! 35 00:01:55,036 --> 00:01:57,135 Now, you guys, you all know Artemis. 36 00:01:57,248 --> 00:02:01,151 Artemis was kind enough to book for us this fine local theater. 37 00:02:01,264 --> 00:02:03,903 - So round of applause for Artemis. - Very nice. 38 00:02:04,016 --> 00:02:08,257 She also transcribed my work into a format you might consider a little bit more legible. 39 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,867 Or literate. She added words to it. 40 00:02:09,965 --> 00:02:10,965 Yeah, right. 41 00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:13,561 No more interruptions now, Dee. Thank you, please. 42 00:02:13,674 --> 00:02:16,206 Okay, well, Charlie, I got a question for you. Who's playing this lead boy? 43 00:02:16,319 --> 00:02:17,400 - That's going to be Mac. - What? 44 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,856 - Oh, yeah! Lead, of course. - Wait, who's playing the dayman? 45 00:02:20,969 --> 00:02:23,335 Well, the lead boy becomes the dayman when he defeats the nightman. 46 00:02:23,448 --> 00:02:26,506 - So it's also Mac. - Two parts? Oh, yeah! 47 00:02:26,619 --> 00:02:28,604 - Wait, that's bullshit, bro. - The nightman's a better role. 48 00:02:28,717 --> 00:02:30,003 He gets to play two roles? I mean, come on. 49 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,667 - It's the same person... - Charlie, who's playing the troll guy? 50 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,997 - You're going to play the troll guy. - I'm the troll guy? 51 00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:37,400 - Who else would be the troll? - Oh, I like that. 52 00:02:37,513 --> 00:02:39,337 - All right, good. - Can I do it naked? 53 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,275 Absolutely not. Why would you want to be naked? 54 00:02:41,388 --> 00:02:44,535 Because in the '70s, everybody did theater naked. 55 00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,106 Everybody got laid all the time. 56 00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:49,101 All right, well, this is not the '70s. You're going to do theater with your clothes on, please. 57 00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:50,625 Charlie, what the hell is this play about? 58 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,766 - I'm a princess who lives in a coffee shop? - You work in a coffee shop. 59 00:02:53,879 --> 00:02:55,923 You don't live in a coffee shop. Read closer. 60 00:02:56,036 --> 00:02:58,093 Well, why am I in love with a little boy? 61 00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:01,985 - You're in love with a young man. - You wrote "boy". 62 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,722 Well, all right, man, boy, it's a metaphor. 63 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,614 Well, the audience is going to think I'm a child molester. 64 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,011 I've changed my mind. I'm playing the nightman. 65 00:03:08,361 --> 00:03:10,009 - Oh, yeah. - Why would you want to play the nightman? 66 00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:12,634 The nightman's bad-ass, dude. He has the eyes of a cat 67 00:03:12,747 --> 00:03:15,050 - and does karate across the stage. - Where are you getting that from?! 68 00:03:15,163 --> 00:03:16,774 - Karate?! - No, I made that up, man. 69 00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:19,166 This is great. That frees up the lead boy role and the dayman role. 70 00:03:19,279 --> 00:03:21,105 - I can play both those. - No, I don't want you guys switching roles. 71 00:03:21,218 --> 00:03:23,412 - That's not how it works. - Hey, Frank you got a guy that does cat eyes? 72 00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:26,007 - I'm already on it. - All right, God, for the love of God. 73 00:03:26,717 --> 00:03:28,789 You know what? Let's just get started. 74 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,589 - Okay, you guys ready? - Yeah. 75 00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:37,055 Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you 76 00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:41,639 Tiny boy, little boy, Want to make love to you, boy 77 00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:43,312 Okay, hold on a second. 78 00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:44,973 - Charlie? - Yes. 79 00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:46,830 - Are you goddamn kidding me? - What? 80 00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,904 "Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy"? 81 00:03:49,017 --> 00:03:50,615 Yes. 82 00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:53,527 You're wanting me to say that I want to make love to a little, baby, tiny boy. 83 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,072 But I have explained this to you, Dee. 84 00:03:55,185 --> 00:03:57,910 I'm talking about the spirit of this man-- is like a little boy. 85 00:03:58,023 --> 00:03:59,529 - It's a metaphor. - You keep using that word, 86 00:03:59,642 --> 00:04:00,956 but I'm not convinced you know what it means. 87 00:04:01,069 --> 00:04:03,033 And also, I'm not making out with Dennis later. 88 00:04:03,146 --> 00:04:04,796 'Cause it says we're supposed to do that at the end of the song, 89 00:04:04,909 --> 00:04:07,124 - and that's not going to happen. - I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that either, bro. 90 00:04:07,237 --> 00:04:09,208 Well, this is why I didn't think you should be playing the boy, okay? 91 00:04:09,321 --> 00:04:10,583 I don't want you guys kissing either. 92 00:04:10,696 --> 00:04:13,377 What if it's just a sexually charged embrace? 93 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,919 Okay, Artemis, please don't talk to the talent. 94 00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:17,629 You know what? Um... 95 00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:19,819 All right, screw this shit. If no one likes the song, I'm going to cut the song. 96 00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:22,146 - Thank you. - Whoa, no, no, no, no, don't cut the song, man. 97 00:04:22,259 --> 00:04:24,191 I like the song. Dee, apologize to Charlie. 98 00:04:24,304 --> 00:04:26,112 I'm not going to do that. He wants me to bang this baby, 99 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:29,157 - and I don't feel comfortable. - I think it's a bad idea to cut the song. 100 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,246 Thank you, Artemis. Thank you very much. 101 00:04:31,359 --> 00:04:34,506 All right, could you give me a second with... with the talent here? 102 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:37,678 Thank you. Uh, Dennis, could you take a five? 103 00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:40,027 Uh, well, I just want the song, man. 104 00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:42,011 - I would like for you to take a five. - Five... five minutes? 105 00:04:42,124 --> 00:04:46,233 Can we have five now please? Can you have a five over there? 106 00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:49,965 Will you take a five, Dennis?! Take a five, please! 107 00:04:52,049 --> 00:04:54,091 Okay, Dee, the song is history. 108 00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:56,786 Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate that. 'Cause I was uncomfortable. 109 00:04:56,899 --> 00:04:58,772 - Yeah, I'll bet. - What are we going to sing instead? 110 00:04:58,885 --> 00:05:01,167 - What should I sing? - Uh, what's on the back there? 111 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,879 - It's the same song. - And what's on the very back page? 112 00:05:03,992 --> 00:05:06,627 - Nothing. - Then that's what you'll be singing. 113 00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:10,548 - Charlie, this is my big song. - Yeah, yeah. 114 00:05:10,661 --> 00:05:12,971 Everybody else has a big song. I deserve to have one. 115 00:05:13,084 --> 00:05:16,967 - Do you? Don't screw you?! - Don't screw me like this, Charlie. Come on! 116 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,691 Oh, I'm sorry, Dee. 117 00:05:18,966 --> 00:05:20,252 Um, let me try and rember something. 118 00:05:20,365 --> 00:05:23,865 Uh, let's see... was it... did Dee write a musical and come to Charlie with it? 119 00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:27,507 No, Charlie wrote a musical and came to Dee with it. 120 00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:31,122 And the gang. And the gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves 121 00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:34,300 and take it away from Charlie and ruin his hopes and dreams. 122 00:05:34,413 --> 00:05:37,243 So let me tell you something, Dee; let me break down a scenario for you. 123 00:05:37,356 --> 00:05:40,424 I could cut the song, okay, because I wrote it. 124 00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:44,090 I could have Artemis do the song, okay, because you did not write it. 125 00:05:44,203 --> 00:05:47,288 Or I could strap on a wig and I could do the song myself. 126 00:05:47,401 --> 00:05:51,739 So you tell me, little Miss All That, what do you want to do-- 127 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,265 song or no song? 128 00:05:59,419 --> 00:06:00,791 Song. 129 00:06:01,091 --> 00:06:02,798 Song? 130 00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:05,277 - Yeah, song. - You want to sing a song. 131 00:06:05,390 --> 00:06:08,442 - I never wasn't going to sing the song. - You were excited about singing a song, 132 00:06:08,555 --> 00:06:10,336 - and you want to sing a song? - Yeah, I would like to do it. 133 00:06:10,449 --> 00:06:12,227 Good! 134 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,752 So back up on your podium you go. 135 00:06:15,052 --> 00:06:17,786 Thank you. Dennis, what are you doing? 136 00:06:18,273 --> 00:06:20,198 I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable. 137 00:06:20,311 --> 00:06:23,403 Well, you guys are making... Can you just get on the stage please, 138 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,811 and can we finish this rehearsal? 139 00:06:24,924 --> 00:06:26,708 - It was really loud and... - Don't start! 140 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,122 That wasn't five minutes. 141 00:06:28,235 --> 00:06:30,375 Okay, you know what, you guys have me up to here. 142 00:06:30,595 --> 00:06:33,759 Okay, I'm here. I don't want to be here, okay? 143 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:36,294 Now I have to play the piano and I'm all up here. 144 00:06:36,407 --> 00:06:38,890 So let's... you know what, let's try and get this down. 145 00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,353 Let's try and work this down a bit, okay? 146 00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:44,310 And you know what's going to do that, learning the song, the way it's written. 147 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,380 Let's do it. 148 00:06:45,445 --> 00:06:48,488 Back to the top. Five, six, seven, eight... 149 00:06:50,795 --> 00:06:54,593 Got to play the troll toll To get into this boy's hole 150 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,514 You've got to pay the troll toll To get in 151 00:06:57,627 --> 00:07:01,537 You want this baby boy's hole, You've got to pay the troll toll 152 00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:03,826 Stop, stop, stop. All right, not bad. 153 00:07:03,939 --> 00:07:05,530 Good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. 154 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:09,947 I feel like you're saying "boy's hole", and it's clearly "soul". 155 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,877 And I know, Artemis, you did write "soul", right? 156 00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,896 - I did write "soul". - So it's "boy's soul". 157 00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:17,488 You got to pay the troll toll to get in this boy's hole... 158 00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,752 No, see, right there. It sounds like "hole". 159 00:07:19,865 --> 00:07:22,041 Like if you drag that out... Are you chewing gum? 160 00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:24,680 - Yeah. - Give me the gum, okay? 161 00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:27,030 - Give me the gum, Frank, please? - He said, "No gum". 162 00:07:27,143 --> 00:07:29,079 - I said, "No gum," everyone. - It's unprofessional. 163 00:07:29,192 --> 00:07:30,916 - Okay. Thank you. - Charlie, can I bring something up? 164 00:07:31,029 --> 00:07:33,241 - Yes. - I think we have to be very careful 165 00:07:33,354 --> 00:07:35,288 - about how we do the rape scene. - Yeah. 166 00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:38,122 What in God's name are you talking? There's no rape scene. 167 00:07:38,464 --> 00:07:41,932 Well, sure, I pay the troll toll, and then I rape Dennis. 168 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,001 No, you don't rape him. You become him. 169 00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,946 - You do not rape him. - He doesn't? 170 00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:49,724 No! Look, let me just walk you guys through this, okay? 171 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,070 Here's what happens. Once you pay the toll, 172 00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:54,685 I want you to come over to Dennis over by his bed here, okay? 173 00:07:54,798 --> 00:07:56,724 - I'll be lying back. - You want me to cross the stage? 174 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,342 - Yes. - All right, this is a great opportunity 175 00:07:58,455 --> 00:08:00,851 to showcase some skills, and, like, just put on a clinic. 176 00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:04,299 - I would rather you didn't. - Well, I think the people are gonna want to see that. 177 00:08:04,412 --> 00:08:06,930 And then I'll hop up sort of like a cat, like so. 178 00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:08,688 Jesus Christ, just leave it at that. 179 00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:11,834 Okay, once he gets near you, you have to sense him, okay? 180 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:12,930 Suddenly, you sense him. 181 00:08:13,012 --> 00:08:15,522 What if I were to position him in a way where I get behind him, 182 00:08:15,635 --> 00:08:17,891 and then Frank could throw that blanket that he's got right there 183 00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:20,503 over us, and then that way you can't see the penetration. 184 00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:21,734 That's a good idea. You know what, Charlie? 185 00:08:21,847 --> 00:08:24,368 Because the blanket will make the rapings... I'm sorry, 186 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:27,771 - the sexing from behind feel more classy. - That's good. 187 00:08:27,884 --> 00:08:30,518 And what I can do is thrust this way, and you can struggle. 188 00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:35,606 Now I'm here, okay? I am, I'm past where I thought I could go. 189 00:08:35,719 --> 00:08:37,739 I'm, like, all the way up here with it. 190 00:08:42,911 --> 00:08:45,113 - Oh, my-- Hey, you! - Oh, my God! You scared me! 191 00:08:45,226 --> 00:08:47,718 I'm sorry. I dropped, like, a hundred-dollar bill under there. 192 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,433 I can't find it anywhere, and then... What are you doing walking here? 193 00:08:50,546 --> 00:08:52,388 - Is this one of your walking places? - Charlie, I have Mace. 194 00:08:52,501 --> 00:08:54,618 Oh, my God, check this out. 195 00:08:55,396 --> 00:08:58,434 I have a free ticket for you to see a musical that I wrote. 196 00:08:58,547 --> 00:09:01,443 Oh, wow, a free ticket to a play that I don't want to see. 197 00:09:01,510 --> 00:09:02,510 - You don't want to see it? - I don't want to. 198 00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:04,916 - It's a front row seat. - I don't care. I don't want to see your play. 199 00:09:05,029 --> 00:09:07,014 I'm gonna cut you a bargain, okay? I'm gonna cut you a little deal. 200 00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:08,989 You come and see this play-- I didn't want to have to do this-- 201 00:09:09,102 --> 00:09:10,605 - but if you come and see this play... - Yeah? 202 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,195 ...I'm gonna leave you alone for the rest of your life. 203 00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:14,270 - Really? - Yeah. 204 00:09:14,364 --> 00:09:16,408 Okay, so you're not gonna follow me home anymore 205 00:09:16,521 --> 00:09:20,345 and you're not gonna call me at 3:00 in the morning and tell me that 206 00:09:20,458 --> 00:09:23,764 you are in the emergency room in the hospital because you had a terrible car accident? 207 00:09:23,877 --> 00:09:27,419 - Yeah, well, it's great that you came. - Well, you listed me as your emergency contact. 208 00:09:27,532 --> 00:09:30,200 - Well, yeah, because I consider you that. - I have to go! 209 00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,901 All right, I swear to God I'm gonna leave you alone. 210 00:09:34,014 --> 00:09:36,661 I'm gonna stop listing you as my emergency contact. I'm gonna stop calling you. 211 00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:40,586 All that stuff if you see the musical. That's how much this means to me. 212 00:09:44,247 --> 00:09:45,314 Nice. 213 00:09:45,427 --> 00:09:46,829 - Leave me alone. - You're not gonna regret it. 214 00:09:46,942 --> 00:09:49,271 I regret it already. 215 00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:50,953 All right. 216 00:10:00,205 --> 00:10:01,638 Charlie, what is going on, dude? 217 00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:03,579 - When are we gonna start? - We're gonna start we're ready to start. 218 00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:04,313 Stop hounding me. 219 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,563 We were supposed to start 20 minutes ago. 220 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:06,846 We're not gonna start... 221 00:10:06,929 --> 00:10:08,600 She's here! She's here! She's here! She's here! 222 00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:10,104 Circle in, everybody. 223 00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:11,806 Can we get down in the middle? Can we get down front? 224 00:10:11,889 --> 00:10:13,239 A couple last-minute things. 225 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,472 I just want to brief everyone on this. 226 00:10:14,555 --> 00:10:15,914 Artemus, can you bring in Gladys? 227 00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:16,654 This is Gladys. 228 00:10:16,737 --> 00:10:18,408 She's going to be playing the piano instead of me tonight. 229 00:10:18,491 --> 00:10:20,305 - What? Why? - It's cool. She knows all the songs. 230 00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:21,961 Gladys, can you head out there and get us started? 231 00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:25,457 I forgot to tell you, Calvin Coolidge was a good friend of mine. 232 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,169 You've been telling me that Calvin Coolidge was a friend of yours, 233 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,120 like, all morning. 234 00:10:28,203 --> 00:10:29,554 - And at a certain point... - How many times? 235 00:10:29,637 --> 00:10:30,607 Like, a hundred times now. 236 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,530 At a certain point, I need you to stop telling the Calvin Coolidge story 237 00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:34,609 and start playing the piano. 238 00:10:34,692 --> 00:10:36,561 Don't shush me, okay? Now please don't shush me. 239 00:10:36,644 --> 00:10:37,697 We have to start. 240 00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,846 Just get her out there and get the play started! 241 00:10:39,929 --> 00:10:40,868 What the hell you doing? 242 00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:42,298 You can't be throwing us curveballs like this. 243 00:10:42,381 --> 00:10:43,790 Don't argue with me right now, okay? 244 00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:45,469 We just gotta do this. Let's stick together. 245 00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:47,594 Real quickly, okay? Just a couple of things. 246 00:10:47,677 --> 00:10:50,447 I can't really move my arms in this thing, so I think I need to rip the pits. 247 00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:51,909 Do not rip that costume, okay? 248 00:10:51,992 --> 00:10:52,719 It's very expensive. 249 00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,046 All right, fine, but one other thing. 250 00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:55,413 I wrote a song. I'm gonna throw it in. 251 00:10:55,496 --> 00:10:56,961 I swear to God, you cannot add a song. 252 00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:58,006 It's gonna happen. 253 00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:01,012 I will smack your face off of your face. 254 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,315 Do not add a song. 255 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,765 It started. It started. 256 00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:05,925 You gotta get out there. 257 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,285 Just get out there. 258 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,462 What is this strange feeling? 259 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,473 I feel so strange inside. 260 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,679 It's so strange, but appealing. 261 00:11:27,892 --> 00:11:29,500 I feel good, oh! 262 00:11:30,017 --> 00:11:32,729 Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy, I need you. 263 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,014 Tiny boy, little boy, I want to touch you. 264 00:11:36,319 --> 00:11:37,787 If you only knew 265 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,853 - What I'd do to you. - Boy, I need you, boy. 266 00:11:39,936 --> 00:11:42,225 If I was that boy, that's inside of you. 267 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:45,243 Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you 268 00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:48,526 Tiny boy, little boy, I want to make love to you. 269 00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:51,579 If you only knew, what I'd do to you. 270 00:11:51,662 --> 00:11:54,547 If I was that boy, that's inside of you. 271 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,966 Inside, inside, inside of you.. 272 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,022 My boy... 273 00:12:03,413 --> 00:12:05,068 Oh, boy. 274 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:17,979 Just to be clear, I did not write that song, 275 00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:20,903 And have never had sex with a child... 276 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:22,369 Just to be clear. 277 00:12:23,038 --> 00:12:25,340 What? What is happening? 278 00:12:25,551 --> 00:12:28,991 Most men find me to be an eight or nine out of ten. 279 00:12:30,119 --> 00:12:33,676 And I am available to any interested men. 280 00:12:33,899 --> 00:12:36,882 Who'd like to get my number after the show. 281 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,960 Keep singing, bitch! 282 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:41,343 You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm done with you! 283 00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:43,074 What the hell is she doing? 284 00:12:43,157 --> 00:12:44,570 She's bombing like crazy. 285 00:12:44,653 --> 00:12:45,473 What an idiot. 286 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,754 I was awesome, though, right? 287 00:12:46,837 --> 00:12:48,879 You? No, dude, you totally froze up out there. 288 00:12:48,962 --> 00:12:49,624 You sucked. 289 00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:51,474 I was hearing a lot of laughs out there, bro. 290 00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:52,895 Laughs are cheap. 291 00:12:52,978 --> 00:12:54,269 I'm going for gasps. 292 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,646 Wait till you see, dude. 293 00:12:55,729 --> 00:12:57,058 Gasps are where it's at. 294 00:12:57,389 --> 00:12:59,216 Gotta go pop my cat eyes in. 295 00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:13,781 That's good. 296 00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:15,319 That is not good. This is not a comedy, okay? 297 00:13:15,402 --> 00:13:16,869 No one's supposed to be laughing. 298 00:13:18,496 --> 00:13:20,339 You came at the right time. 299 00:13:20,422 --> 00:13:21,983 Is he sleeping? 300 00:13:22,066 --> 00:13:26,537 Yes, he's sleeping right over there, just the way you like 'em. 301 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,999 Did you bring the toll? 302 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,252 Confound your lousy toll, troll. 303 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:37,884 God damn it. 304 00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:39,234 Stop laughing at me. 305 00:13:40,032 --> 00:13:43,572 You gotta pay the troll toll, if you want to get into that boy's hole. 306 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,964 You gotta pay the troll toll to get in... 307 00:13:46,621 --> 00:13:49,028 You want the baby boy's hole, 308 00:13:49,111 --> 00:13:53,297 You gotta pay the troll toll, You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. 309 00:13:54,365 --> 00:13:55,798 Troll toll 310 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,641 What you say? 311 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,449 Troll toll! 312 00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:03,012 Troll toll! 313 00:14:06,656 --> 00:14:08,546 Here's your toll, troll. 314 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,226 Your boy awaits. 315 00:14:13,074 --> 00:14:16,925 At last, the boy's soul is mine. 316 00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,197 Give me that leg, boy. 317 00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:36,196 Dude, do you have a boner right now? 318 00:14:36,279 --> 00:14:38,001 Shut up, dude, don't ruin this for me. 319 00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,815 What? Oh, Jesus. 320 00:14:39,898 --> 00:14:41,198 That's enough. 321 00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:56,250 I could smack everyone into tiny, little pieces. 322 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,692 Hello, boy. 323 00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:06,238 Come over here and scratch my itchy-witchy toesy-woesies. 324 00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:08,668 What? 325 00:15:08,751 --> 00:15:09,668 Get over here. 326 00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:11,935 - No, Antonio. - I control you. 327 00:15:12,018 --> 00:15:13,502 You control nothing. 328 00:15:13,585 --> 00:15:16,995 I am not your slave anymore, and I'm not a boy. 329 00:15:17,302 --> 00:15:19,202 I am a man, see? 330 00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:22,136 I was transformed... 331 00:15:22,359 --> 00:15:27,342 by the strong... musky power of true love. 332 00:15:28,499 --> 00:15:29,532 I am now... 333 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,182 The Dayman. 334 00:15:36,755 --> 00:15:38,122 What the hell is that? 335 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,571 You know what it is, bitch. 336 00:15:54,211 --> 00:15:55,912 Where's the boy? 337 00:15:55,995 --> 00:15:57,497 The boy is gone. 338 00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:59,827 You can't tell me what to do. 339 00:16:01,446 --> 00:16:03,425 I didn't tell you what to do. You're skipping a line, dude. 340 00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:08,246 - You can't tell me what to do... - You're still skipping the same line. 341 00:16:08,329 --> 00:16:08,730 Just move past it. 342 00:16:08,813 --> 00:16:11,096 God, it's crazy how much better I am at acting than you are. 343 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,557 I'm going to kick your ass, bro. 344 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,623 I'll tell you what... 345 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,643 I am the ruler of darkness. 346 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,411 I am the master of light. 347 00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:22,167 I am... the Dayman. 348 00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:24,735 Whatever, bro. 349 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,469 - Here's whatever, bitch. - What? No, don't improv. 350 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,402 Don't tell me what to do. 351 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,745 Body bag. 352 00:17:08,696 --> 00:17:10,862 You have defeated the evil that was here. 353 00:17:13,342 --> 00:17:14,452 Naturally. 354 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,109 For I am the Dayman. 355 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,155 You once were a boy and now you're man. 356 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,800 And I am in love with you. 357 00:17:20,883 --> 00:17:21,816 That's right. 358 00:17:21,899 --> 00:17:24,584 And now I am in love with you. 359 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,667 Dayman, 360 00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:30,434 Fighter of the Nightman 361 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,919 Champion of the sun, 362 00:17:35,519 --> 00:17:37,687 You're a master of karate and 363 00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:40,042 friendship for everyone. 364 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,636 Dayman 365 00:17:43,202 --> 00:17:45,436 Fighter of the Nightman 366 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,523 Champion of the sun 367 00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:52,221 You're a master of karate and 368 00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:54,089 friendship for everyone 369 00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:55,938 Dayman 370 00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,538 Fighter of the nightman 371 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,505 Champion of the sun 372 00:18:03,676 --> 00:18:06,143 You're a master of karate and 373 00:18:06,226 --> 00:18:08,526 friendship for everyone 374 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:09,526 Dayman! 375 00:18:12,962 --> 00:18:13,675 Stage freeze. 376 00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:15,612 Don't say "stage freeze." Just do it. 377 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:33,555 I was that little boy. That little baby boy was me. 378 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,447 I once was a boy 379 00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,606 But now I am a man 380 00:18:39,556 --> 00:18:42,257 I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman. 381 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:45,133 Now I'm here to ask for your hand, 382 00:18:45,216 --> 00:18:47,849 So if you want to marry, man, 383 00:18:47,932 --> 00:18:49,766 Will you marry me? 384 00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:52,750 Will you come on stage and join me. 385 00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,517 In this thing called matrimony? 386 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,339 Please say yes and do not bone me, please. 387 00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:02,580 Just marry me. 388 00:19:11,549 --> 00:19:12,650 Is that it? 389 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:15,837 Is the play over? 390 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:19,251 Okay, great. Well, then I'm out of here. 391 00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:21,785 Hang on, hang on, hang on a second, hang on. 392 00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,192 - Is it a yes, or...? - Is it a yes? 393 00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:27,242 Really, Charlie, will I marry you? 394 00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:28,692 No, no, I will not. 395 00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:30,058 I will never marry you. 396 00:19:30,141 --> 00:19:33,120 And I also held up my end of the bargain, so I never have to see you again. 397 00:19:33,451 --> 00:19:34,584 Okay, so wait. 398 00:19:35,584 --> 00:19:37,001 I'm sorry, I want to get this clear. 399 00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:38,459 You are saying no? 400 00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,721 Oh, I am definitely, definitely saying no. 401 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:45,017 Well, I didn't ever sign anything, so... 402 00:19:45,857 --> 00:19:47,442 I'll see you tomorrow? 403 00:19:52,755 --> 00:19:53,960 That's it. You can go home. 404 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:55,677 It's over. 405 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,102 - We've got to bow. - Hold on. 406 00:19:59,456 --> 00:20:00,467 If you want. 407 00:20:00,884 --> 00:20:03,629 This was a great musical. You did a great job. 408 00:20:11,464 --> 00:20:13,947 Told you nobody just writes a musical for no reason. 409 00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:14,913 I am here. 410 00:20:15,296 --> 00:20:16,579 I am passed here. 411 00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:19,032 And by the way, 412 00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,646 I thought the rape scene went really well. 413 00:20:21,729 --> 00:20:22,646 I am here. 414 00:20:22,729 --> 00:20:23,696 I am here with it. 415 00:20:23,779 --> 00:20:25,096 And that was awful for me. 416 00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:27,779 And if you bring this up back at the apartment tonight, 417 00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,769 I'm going to smack you, I swear to God. 418 00:20:29,852 --> 00:20:32,329 Subtitles by Criztian and Sososeries 419 00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:39,524 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org