1
00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:05,089
Burn! Burn! Burn!
2
00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:07,657
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
3
00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:08,790
Burn! Burn! Burn!
4
00:00:08,859 --> 00:00:10,959
Hey! Burn, burn! Burn!
5
00:00:11,028 --> 00:00:12,487
Yeah, cool.
What are you guys burning?
6
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:14,241
Bunch of garbage
7
00:00:14,242 --> 00:00:15,794
and burns the tar
that's just taking up space.
8
00:00:15,862 --> 00:00:17,061
No, goddamn it!
9
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,151
Wait, Frank, why are
you burning our photo album pictures?
10
00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:20,949
What do you mean?
Because it's trash.
11
00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:23,244
You kidding me? Oh, my God!
12
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:24,883
Dude, these are all the pictures
13
00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:27,348
from our Jersey Shore vacations.
You were gonna burn these?
14
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:27,981
Yeah.
15
00:00:28,050 --> 00:00:29,751
These were, like, the
happiest days of our lives.
16
00:00:29,819 --> 00:00:31,555
Oh, come on, Jersey
Shore sucked.
17
00:00:31,623 --> 00:00:32,622
The Shore didn't suck, Frank.
18
00:00:32,691 --> 00:00:33,523
You sucked, okay?
19
00:00:33,592 --> 00:00:36,026
You just complained the whole time
and ruined it for everyone else.
20
00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,594
Yeah, because I had
to do all the work.
21
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,563
I never got to relax.
22
00:00:38,632 --> 00:00:39,731
I would love to go on a vacation.
23
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,966
Oh, my God, me, too.
24
00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:42,200
I would love to
go on a vacation.
25
00:00:42,269 --> 00:00:43,803
Yeah, but not to the
Jersey Shore, though.
26
00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:45,471
I mean, that place
sounds like a nightmare.
27
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:46,973
What's wrong with
the Jersey Shore?
28
00:00:47,041 --> 00:00:48,574
Come on.
You've seen that TV show.
29
00:00:48,642 --> 00:00:51,142
It's just a bunch of sweaty
Guidos getting hopped up
30
00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:53,244
on energy drinks and giving
each other diseases.
31
00:00:53,313 --> 00:00:55,179
Yeah, no, the Jersey Shore
is nothing like that.
32
00:00:55,247 --> 00:00:57,650
It's a magical place where
people swim in the ocean and
33
00:00:57,718 --> 00:01:00,488
they get to ride on fun rides and
they get to have their first kiss.
34
00:01:00,557 --> 00:01:01,622
Dude, you would love it.
35
00:01:01,691 --> 00:01:02,524
Well, hang on a second.
36
00:01:02,592 --> 00:01:03,458
I've never seen the ocean.
37
00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:06,462
I could get into that if you guys
want to go down to the Shore.
38
00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:06,996
Aw, yes!
39
00:01:07,065 --> 00:01:07,630
Yes!
40
00:01:07,699 --> 00:01:09,232
We should all go to
the Shore together.
41
00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:09,934
I'll tell you what.
42
00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,336
Maybe I'll knock myself out and
we'll head down to the Shore.
43
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,305
Yeah, but I feel like you're
just gonna screw it up if you
44
00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:15,239
try and knock yourself out.
45
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,143
Yeah, you're probably gonna
come to halfway there, and then
46
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,277
complain the rest of the time.
47
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,412
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
48
00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:21,981
Why don't I take the rag, I'll
get the chloroform, I'll get you
49
00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,383
when you least expect it.
50
00:01:23,453 --> 00:01:24,351
All right, sweet.
51
00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:24,953
Yeah?
52
00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:26,989
Yeah!
Goin' down to the Jersey Shore!
53
00:01:27,058 --> 00:01:28,724
Yeah, going to the Shore, baby!
54
00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,625
Now, this ocean,
explain it to me.
55
00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,460
It's, like, it goes on forever?
56
00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:34,095
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
57
00:01:35,098 --> 00:01:45,678
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:53,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
59
00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:03,073
So, I woke up, like, halfway
there, and then you just
60
00:02:03,173 --> 00:02:04,518
snuffed me out again, huh, Mac?
61
00:02:04,638 --> 00:02:06,938
Oh, this place turned
into a major shithole.
62
00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:09,652
It does not look exactly the
way I remember it looking.
63
00:02:09,772 --> 00:02:11,438
No, no, it's different,
it's different.
64
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,974
The guy at the front desk said
there was meth lab explosion,
65
00:02:14,043 --> 00:02:14,908
so the hotel burned down.
66
00:02:14,977 --> 00:02:16,009
They had to rebuild it.
67
00:02:16,078 --> 00:02:16,743
Something like that.
68
00:02:16,812 --> 00:02:18,250
There's a smell, too, like...
Don't sweat it, you guys.
69
00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:20,678
Listen, with any luck at all,
we won't be spending any time
70
00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:22,204
here, so just think of
it more like a locker.
71
00:02:22,324 --> 00:02:22,989
Yes!
72
00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,827
I'm sorry, is no one gonna
talk about Dee's hair?
73
00:02:25,947 --> 00:02:26,912
Oh, I was waiting to pounce.
74
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,380
I just didn't know
what our cue was.
75
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,349
Yeah, I was waiting for
Dennis to jump on top of it.
76
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,617
And then we were gonna slay her.
77
00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:32,184
Yeah.
78
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:32,818
No, no. It's fine.
79
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,619
All the cool girls get their
hair braided at the Shore.
80
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,154
I think she looks like Bo Derek.
81
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:36,821
Thank you, Dennis.
82
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,457
Mm-hmm. You see, Dee and I have some
very fond memories of the Shore.
83
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,560
We're not gonna have you
sullying those great memories
84
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,561
with all your goddamn insults.
85
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:43,195
Mm-mm.
86
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,329
Are you drinking sunscreen?
87
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,597
No, no, it's a decoy.
88
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,900
We're drinking tequila out
of sunscreen bottles.
89
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,969
Very strict open container
laws here at the Jersey Shore.
90
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:54,407
Cheers.
91
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,142
Holy shit!
92
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,444
Is that the ocean?!
93
00:02:58,513 --> 00:02:59,078
Yep.
94
00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,580
Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean.
95
00:03:00,649 --> 00:03:02,949
What's on the other
side of it there?
96
00:03:03,018 --> 00:03:03,850
Europe.
97
00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:04,585
Yeah.
98
00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:05,919
Now, how long would it take...?
99
00:03:05,988 --> 00:03:07,287
Do not try and swim to Europe.
100
00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:07,821
No.
101
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:08,722
Don't swim to Europe?
102
00:03:08,791 --> 00:03:09,289
Do not.
103
00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:11,459
As a matter of fact, why don't
you stick with Dee and I
104
00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:13,861
because we can show you the
ropes here at the Jersey Shore.
105
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:16,164
All right, everybody, you
know what time it is!
106
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:17,999
Let's go strut the beach.
107
00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:19,134
Not strutting shit.
108
00:03:19,202 --> 00:03:20,268
No beach strutting for me.
109
00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:22,137
I'm gonna find a place
to relax and unwind.
110
00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,005
Frank, I'm with you.
111
00:03:23,074 --> 00:03:23,939
Yeah.
112
00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,507
Why don't you grab
us some booze?
113
00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:27,876
I'll go down to the beach
and get us some prime real
114
00:03:27,944 --> 00:03:29,678
estate before those gorilla
dickheads get down there.
115
00:03:29,746 --> 00:03:31,713
Yeah. Gonna relax.
116
00:03:31,781 --> 00:03:32,780
Let's do it!
117
00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:34,548
Let's get out of here.
118
00:03:34,617 --> 00:03:38,285
Oh, man, this ocean breeze
feels so good on my scalp.
119
00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:39,219
Yeah, it feels awesome.
120
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:41,121
The sand feels good
beneath my feet.
121
00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:41,655
Uh-huh.
122
00:03:41,724 --> 00:03:44,758
I'm a little curious as to where
all the people are, though.
123
00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:45,492
No idea, no idea.
124
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,460
Didn't want to say anything,
didn't want to ruin the mood,
125
00:03:47,529 --> 00:03:48,395
but where are the people?
126
00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:50,097
I'm seeing a lot more
dogs than people, right?
127
00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:52,198
There are a shit-ton of
dogs out here, I tell ya.
128
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:53,133
Where are their masters?
129
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:54,668
I don't think these
dogs have masters.
130
00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,603
I think these dogs play
by their own rules.
131
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,538
Well, clearly, the action
has shifted elsewhere.
132
00:03:58,607 --> 00:03:59,839
Want to go to the boardwalk?
133
00:03:59,908 --> 00:04:02,209
Hey, let's go to the boardwalk!
134
00:04:02,278 --> 00:04:02,843
Yes!
135
00:04:02,912 --> 00:04:03,877
Yeah! Hey, Charlie!
136
00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:04,511
Charlie!
137
00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:05,512
Come here!
138
00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:08,849
Dude, oh, my God, this
place is amazing!
139
00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:09,549
Right?
140
00:04:09,618 --> 00:04:10,216
Yeah!
141
00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:11,351
And the sun block drink?
142
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,653
Nice, guys.
143
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,487
They're really good.
144
00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:14,221
They're really good.
145
00:04:14,289 --> 00:04:17,390
Thing is, I didn't make you one.
146
00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:19,392
Oh! Jesus Chris, Charlie!
147
00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:20,860
You're drinking sun block.
148
00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:23,062
It's good. It gets you,
it gets you all.
149
00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:25,665
Yeah, you're ingesting viscous chemicals,
and they're getting you high.
150
00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:26,199
Doesn't matter.
151
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:26,799
Doesn't matter.
152
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,802
Okay, we're going to the boardwalk.
What do you say?
153
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:29,435
Oh, really?
154
00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:30,369
You want to leave?
155
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:30,970
Yeah.
156
00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:33,840
I feel like we're just scratching the
surface of all the cool shit out here.
157
00:04:33,908 --> 00:04:34,941
What cool shit?
158
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:38,778
Well, the sea specimens, the
stray dogs, the trash that
159
00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:40,413
floated over from Europe.
160
00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,750
Yeah, but we didn't come here to
play with stray dogs and trash, man.
161
00:04:43,818 --> 00:04:45,685
We came here to soak
up the culture.
162
00:04:45,754 --> 00:04:47,921
And the boardwalk is the
cultural center of the Jersey
163
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,022
Shore, so let's go there.
164
00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:49,890
Come on, man!
165
00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:50,958
Yeah, all right.
166
00:04:51,026 --> 00:04:53,293
Goin' to the boardwalk.
167
00:05:01,136 --> 00:05:05,907
Yo, Mac, you see that sign
there that says "Taxic spill"?
168
00:05:05,976 --> 00:05:07,008
Yeah.
169
00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:08,143
What's that?
170
00:05:08,212 --> 00:05:08,977
Disregard that, Frank.
171
00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:10,613
It's a bunch of
liberal bullshit.
172
00:05:10,682 --> 00:05:11,380
Right, right.
173
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:12,582
This is a nice spot.
174
00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:13,950
Yeah, yeah. Whoa!
175
00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:15,184
What's that?
176
00:05:15,253 --> 00:05:16,919
You were supposed to get booze.
177
00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:19,555
Oh, this is ham soaked in rum.
178
00:05:19,624 --> 00:05:21,391
It is loaded with booze.
179
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:24,427
Goddamn it, Frank,
eating your drinks?
180
00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:25,594
That is genius!
181
00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:26,362
Ow!
182
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:27,162
What?
183
00:05:27,231 --> 00:05:30,231
What the... What the...
What is that?
184
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,166
Oh, yeah.
185
00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:32,500
I got stuck with a needle.
186
00:05:32,569 --> 00:05:33,634
Yeah, that's a syringe.
187
00:05:33,703 --> 00:05:35,669
Be careful. They are everywhere.
188
00:05:35,738 --> 00:05:37,871
The beach is full of syringes.
189
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:38,638
Why is that?
190
00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:40,840
Well, we're in the steroid
capital of the world, Frank.
191
00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:44,276
To be honest with you, as a man
who works very hard to maintain
192
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:47,580
a certain level of physical excellence,
I find shortcuts insulting.
193
00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,682
Now give me a piece of ham now.
194
00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:50,750
Hey, check that out.
195
00:05:50,819 --> 00:05:53,086
What the hell's a
dog doing here?
196
00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,388
Hey, hey, get out of here!
197
00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,389
Get out of here!
198
00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:56,123
Get out of here!
199
00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:57,491
Goddamn dogs, I'm
telling you, dude.
200
00:05:57,559 --> 00:05:58,959
The were lurking before,
now they're swarming.
201
00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:02,229
I'm not sharing my
ham with no dogs.
202
00:06:02,298 --> 00:06:05,699
I got a great idea.
203
00:06:05,768 --> 00:06:12,406
Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes,
getting rip-shit on ham.
204
00:06:12,475 --> 00:06:15,009
Might you say
we're getting "hammered."
205
00:06:15,078 --> 00:06:18,713
Oh, nice one.
206
00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:19,847
This is a great idea, Frank.
207
00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:21,015
Great idea.
208
00:06:21,084 --> 00:06:22,850
This is 90-proof ham.
209
00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:25,152
Screw you mutts!
210
00:06:28,858 --> 00:06:30,925
Get out of here, you bitch!
211
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:31,893
Come and get it.
212
00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:32,694
Stupid dogs.
213
00:06:32,762 --> 00:06:34,629
We outsmarted those dogs, Frank.
214
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:38,067
Dude, this is the
boardwalk, man.
215
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,035
This is amazing.
216
00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:41,371
Yeah, it's a little bit more desolate
than I was hoping it would be, but...
217
00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:42,138
Yeah, but that's okay.
218
00:06:42,207 --> 00:06:43,006
It's still really great.
219
00:06:43,074 --> 00:06:46,442
Oh, Charlie, there's all kinds of rides
and games and opportunities to win
220
00:06:46,511 --> 00:06:46,976
stuffed toys.
221
00:06:47,045 --> 00:06:49,879
Yeah, man, the boardwalk
is a blast, man.
222
00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:52,347
But it is under the boardwalk
where the action really happens.
223
00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:53,015
Trust me, pal.
224
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:53,582
Oh, yeah?
225
00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:54,482
Yeah.
226
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,051
Oh, what's down there?
227
00:06:56,119 --> 00:06:58,053
Oh, Charlie, come on.
228
00:06:58,121 --> 00:07:00,054
So under the boardwalk's
where it's at?
229
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:01,055
Yeah, man.
230
00:07:01,123 --> 00:07:02,723
This is gonna knock
your socks off.
231
00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:05,325
You never know who you're going to run
into, what they're gonna be doing.
232
00:07:05,394 --> 00:07:06,493
You love the bridge, right?
233
00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:06,994
Yeah.
234
00:07:07,062 --> 00:07:08,429
This is a lot like being under
the bridge, I would think.
235
00:07:08,498 --> 00:07:09,296
It's way better than that.
236
00:07:09,365 --> 00:07:11,498
Under the boardwalk is
a magical place, man.
237
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,867
I have a special place in my heart
'cause I had my first kiss down here.
238
00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:14,401
Mm-hmm.
239
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:14,969
Did you?
240
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:19,640
Oh, dude, all kinds of romantic
shit happens... Oh, God!
241
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,375
Oh, God!
242
00:07:21,444 --> 00:07:22,609
Oh, no!
243
00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:24,378
No! No! No!
244
00:07:24,447 --> 00:07:25,646
No! What was that?!
245
00:07:25,715 --> 00:07:27,448
Two homeless guys
banging each other.
246
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:28,916
I saw, but why?
247
00:07:28,985 --> 00:07:29,817
That's not magical.
248
00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:30,585
That's not romantic.
249
00:07:30,653 --> 00:07:31,519
That's your idea of romantic?
250
00:07:31,588 --> 00:07:32,220
No!
251
00:07:32,289 --> 00:07:34,323
There are other kinds of
romances that happen under here.
252
00:07:34,391 --> 00:07:36,158
I don't want to see
anything else like that.
253
00:07:36,227 --> 00:07:37,126
You know what, I'm out of here.
254
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:37,994
'Cause you guys are perverted.
255
00:07:38,063 --> 00:07:38,695
You get out of here.
256
00:07:38,764 --> 00:07:39,696
You get out of here.
257
00:07:39,765 --> 00:07:41,064
You get out of here, Charlie.
258
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,733
Son of a bitch.
259
00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:53,443
Aw!
260
00:07:55,579 --> 00:07:57,346
Where's the beach?
261
00:07:57,415 --> 00:07:58,314
Frank, wake up.
262
00:07:58,383 --> 00:07:59,214
What? What's the matter?
263
00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,850
Where's the beach?
264
00:08:02,214 --> 00:08:04,447
Uh, I don't know.
265
00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:06,915
We're in the middle
of the goddamn ocean!
266
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,650
Yes, we are.
267
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:11,920
What are we gonna do?
268
00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:15,156
Well, we're going to conk out
for a while and let the current
269
00:08:15,224 --> 00:08:17,491
gently roll us back to shore.
270
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,161
Frank, the current is what brought
us out here in the first place.
271
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:24,164
If anything, we should be paddling
against it to get back to the beach.
272
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:26,100
I'm going to pretend
like I didn't hear that.
273
00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:29,269
Frank, Frank, we are no
longer in relaxing mode.
274
00:08:29,338 --> 00:08:30,905
We are now in survival mode.
275
00:08:30,973 --> 00:08:33,907
Will you stop being so dramatic?
276
00:08:33,976 --> 00:08:35,977
Wait a minute.
277
00:08:36,045 --> 00:08:37,611
Wait a minute.
278
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,749
Where's the rum ham?
279
00:08:40,818 --> 00:08:42,084
Where's the rum...?
280
00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:43,619
Aw!
281
00:08:43,688 --> 00:08:45,020
Rum ham!
282
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,422
No, Frank, stay in the boat.
283
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:47,124
Rum ham!
284
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,225
Frank, stay in the boat.
285
00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:50,093
I want rum ham!
286
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:52,429
I'm sorry, rum ham.
287
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:55,199
I'm sorry, rum ham.
288
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,835
Oh, rum ham.
289
00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:03,205
Yeah, this is going
to be great, right?
290
00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:03,873
Of course it is.
291
00:09:03,941 --> 00:09:08,477
Nothing like some good, innocent, wholesome,
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