1
00:00:01,184 --> 00:00:02,481
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

2
00:00:02,886 --> 00:00:04,717
HOWARD:
That was close.

3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:09,517
God, I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning.

4
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,018
Yeah, still funny, Raj.

5
00:00:12,862 --> 00:00:14,352
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

6
00:00:14,964 --> 00:00:16,431
No way we can get to the ridge.

7
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,760
The Chemistry department
has us cut off.

8
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:20,129
What about the creek bed?

9
00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:22,203
The Pharmacology department
controls that.

10
00:00:22,372 --> 00:00:25,034
And they're all hopped up
on experimental steroids.

11
00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:26,641
That's it then. We're doomed.

12
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,438
Time to acknowledge
that we are paying the price...

13
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:33,378
...for some failing to attend Physics
department paintball strategy meeting.

14
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:36,212
I told you, my mom has spider veins.

15
00:00:36,386 --> 00:00:39,617
I had to take her to the laser clinic.

16
00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:43,791
And I told you I wanted
to see a doctor's note.

17
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,794
We need a plan.
How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?

18
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,556
Which one is Hammer of the Gods?

19
00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:53,669
We hide in the parking lot
and ambush people when they come to pee.

20
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,739
No, the dumpsters are deep
in Astronomy department territory.

21
00:00:57,907 --> 00:01:00,239
Shouldn't be a problem,
Venus is up during the day.

22
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:02,571
They're probably
just all staring at the sky.

23
00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:05,010
All right, what we need now
is a tactical retreat.

24
00:01:05,181 --> 00:01:08,480
Did you see <i>Stargate</i>
where they found themselves on a planet...

25
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:11,643
...with a culture based loosely
on Earth's Athens and Sparta?

26
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,252
Not important.

27
00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:17,291
Leonard, Raj and I are gonna burst out
the door and run away.

28
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:18,484
Howard will cover us.

29
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,095
But why don't I run away
and you cover me?

30
00:01:21,264 --> 00:01:23,732
Because you chose your mother's veins
over victory.

31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,425
On three. One, two, three, go!

32
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,167
[ALL SCREAMING]

33
00:01:29,739 --> 00:01:34,267
I had to take her.
It's almost bathing-suit weather.

34
00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:36,237
[PAINTBALLS FIRING]

35
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:38,841
[HOWARD SHRIEKS]

36
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:42,417
I surrender, don't shoot.
They went that way.

37
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,010
LESLIE:
Howard, I'm on your team.

38
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:46,854
Oh, Leslie, thank God.

39
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,591
- Where's the rest of your squad?
- Uh....

40
00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:53,225
They left me here to die.

41
00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:54,727
What about yours?

42
00:01:54,898 --> 00:01:57,389
- Dead. All of them.
- Sorry.

43
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,000
Don't be.

44
00:01:59,169 --> 00:02:01,433
It was friendly fire.

45
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,639
They just wouldn't listen.

46
00:02:05,842 --> 00:02:08,504
Well, we're surrounded.

47
00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:13,877
So I guess there's nothing for us to do
but wait to be captured or killed.

48
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:16,416
Hm. That's the worst part.

49
00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:17,712
The waiting.

50
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:23,291
All the while knowing that there's a paint
pellet out there with your name on it.

51
00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:25,121
Yeah.

52
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:28,492
The big wet ball of death.

53
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,823
[PAINTBALLS SPRAYING SHED]

54
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:35,170
Kind of makes you feel more alive,
doesn't it?

55
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,839
It kind of does.

56
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,339
I say we make every moment count.

57
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,943
I agree.

58
00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:46,615
How exactly do we do that?

59
00:02:48,117 --> 00:02:50,108
[PAINTBALLS FIRING IN DISTANCE]

60
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:51,913
LEONARD:
Howard, why aren't you covering us?

61
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,716
We're getting slaughtered out here.

62
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:56,620
War is hell.

63
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:04,074
OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN
from 3.49 USD/month ----> osdb.link/vpn

64
00:03:22,418 --> 00:03:24,648
Did you see the new budget memo
this morning?

65
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:26,186
Yeah, more cutbacks.

66
00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:28,688
Unacceptable. It baffles me...

67
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:33,227
...why they don't simply let some of you go
so there's money available for my research.

68
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,460
You know what baffles me, Sheldon?

69
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,091
Based on your academic record,
any number of things, I would imagine.

70
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,363
LESLIE: Hey, guys.
- Hi, Leslie.

71
00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,870
I got the approval
for the rapid prototyper.

72
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,066
That's great, Leslie. Thanks.

73
00:03:47,243 --> 00:03:49,336
You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

74
00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:50,570
[GROWLS]

75
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:54,444
What was all that about?

76
00:03:54,951 --> 00:03:56,248
Oh, uh, no big deal.

77
00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:59,411
They gave Leslie control
over some unrestricted grant money.

78
00:03:59,589 --> 00:04:04,492
Yeah, okay, but what's with
the back scratching and the meow?

79
00:04:05,128 --> 00:04:09,087
I believe the back-scratching metaphor
describes a quid pro quo situation...

80
00:04:09,265 --> 00:04:11,961
...where one party provides services
to the second party...

81
00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:15,571
- ...in compensation for a similar action.
- Thank you.

82
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:20,402
The meow, that sounded to me
like an African civet cat.

83
00:04:21,277 --> 00:04:23,268
- Are you done?
- No.

84
00:04:24,314 --> 00:04:26,544
Despite what the name suggests...

85
00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:30,982
...the civet cat is not a true cat.

86
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:34,954
Now I'm done.

87
00:04:35,591 --> 00:04:39,152
You know what? I'm thinking Howard
wasn't making a back-scratching metaphor.

88
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:42,127
I'm thinking there was some
actual scratching involved.

89
00:04:46,002 --> 00:04:47,162
What about it, Howard?

90
00:04:47,337 --> 00:04:49,328
Okay, I didn't wanna say anything...

91
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:52,167
...because I know you and Leslie
have a little history.

92
00:04:52,342 --> 00:04:55,675
- I don't care about that.
- Great, I'm dying to say something.

93
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,270
You and Leslie?

94
00:04:57,447 --> 00:04:59,438
In the paintball shed. Twice.

95
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:04,809
Is that why you didn't cover our escape
and let us get cut down like animals?

96
00:05:05,621 --> 00:05:07,452
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

97
00:05:08,491 --> 00:05:10,015
My good man.

98
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:14,129
Dereliction of duty in the face of
the enemy is a court-martial offense.

99
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,259
Court martial, schmort martial.

100
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:20,664
Leslie Winkle is the fifth girl
I've ever had sex with.

101
00:05:20,837 --> 00:05:21,861
I mean, for free.

102
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:28,141
And plus you got a rapid prototyper.
That's an expensive piece of equipment.

103
00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:30,836
The rest of us have had our budgets
cut to the bone.

104
00:05:31,314 --> 00:05:35,341
Okay, one way to look at this is that
I'm getting new equipment and you're not...

105
00:05:35,518 --> 00:05:37,145
...and that's unfair.

106
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,915
But a better way to look at this
is that I'm getting sex and you're not.

107
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,819
And that's delightful.

108
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,859
The whole thing froze.
I don't know what happened.

109
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,328
Calm down. We'll figure it out.

110
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:51,990
How can I calm down?
I'm gonna lose my shopping cart.

111
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:56,036
That's three hours of picking out shoes
just shot to hell.

112
00:05:56,506 --> 00:05:58,201
- Hello, Penny.
- Hello, Sheldon.

113
00:05:58,374 --> 00:06:00,342
You're in my spot.

114
00:06:01,144 --> 00:06:04,841
- Are you planning on sitting here?
- No, I'm going to the comic-book store.

115
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:07,574
- What difference does it make?
- What difference?

116
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:09,377
Here we go.

117
00:06:09,552 --> 00:06:11,019
That is my spot.

118
00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:14,714
In an ever-changing world,
it is a single point of consistency.

119
00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:17,519
If my life were expressed as a function...

120
00:06:17,693 --> 00:06:20,218
...on a four-dimensional
Cartesian coordinate system...

121
00:06:20,396 --> 00:06:26,028
...that spot at the moment I first sat on it
would be zero, zero, zero, zero.

122
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,404
What?

123
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,004
Don't sit in his spot.

124
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:35,434
[EXHALES SHARPLY]

125
00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:38,205
Fine. Happy?

126
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,747
I'm not unhappy.

127
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:48,213
Boy, I love him,
but he is one serious whackadoodle.

128
00:06:48,391 --> 00:06:49,551
Okay, that should do it.

129
00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:52,387
Oh, thank you. You are a lifesaver.

130
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:54,496
That's a lot of shoes you ordered.

131
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:58,122
Yeah, you know the sad thing is,
it's really not.

132
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,501
Ooh, is this one of those paintball guns?

133
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,401
You ought to come with us sometime.

134
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,337
Oh, no, thanks. I'm from Nebraska.

135
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,409
When we shoot things,
we wanna eat them...

136
00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:10,842
...or make them leave
our boyfriends alone. Ha, ha.

137
00:07:11,814 --> 00:07:13,145
[PAINTBALLS FIRE]

138
00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:14,977
PENNY:
Oh.

139
00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,427
Boy, your heart's racing.

140
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,000
I must have really gotten you going.

141
00:07:33,236 --> 00:07:34,498
Well, it's partly you.

142
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:38,265
Partly my transient, idiopathic arrhythmia.

143
00:07:39,242 --> 00:07:41,039
Sexy.

144
00:07:42,945 --> 00:07:46,642
Can I assume that
you've likewise found the experience...?

145
00:07:46,816 --> 00:07:48,750
Satisfactory?

146
00:07:49,685 --> 00:07:51,915
That wasn't quite the word
I was looking for...

147
00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,249
...but sure, I'll do this pass-fail.

148
00:07:55,858 --> 00:07:58,554
Hey, are you enjoying
that prototyper I got you?

149
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:03,165
Oh, it's great. Everybody in the Engineering
department is eating their hearts out.

150
00:08:03,332 --> 00:08:07,325
Isn't it nice when your good fortune
makes others miserable?

151
00:08:08,938 --> 00:08:11,805
You know, most people don't get that.

152
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:16,335
MRS. WOLOWITZ [SHOUTING]:
Howard, I'm home!

153
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,876
- Oh, great.
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Book club was canceled.

154
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:24,110
That thing on Phyllis' neck
opened up again.

155
00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:26,679
I'm busy, Ma.

156
00:08:26,856 --> 00:08:30,155
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Too busy to help
your mother with her zipper?

157
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:31,884
Don't come in, Ma.

158
00:08:32,061 --> 00:08:36,327
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Why not?
- He's got company!

159
00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:43,895
Oh, there's the arrhythmia.

160
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,440
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Is she Jewish?

161
00:08:47,977 --> 00:08:49,205
- Are you Jewish?
- No.

162
00:08:49,378 --> 00:08:51,278
[SHOUTING]
Yes!

163
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,841
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Okay, then you kids have fun.

164
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,345
Use protection.

165
00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:10,729
You think he'll notice?

166
00:09:12,401 --> 00:09:14,028
There's a chance.

167
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:16,695
Oh, what are we gonna do?

168
00:09:16,872 --> 00:09:18,203
"We"?

169
00:09:18,874 --> 00:09:23,538
No, no, no, you had your chance to be "we"
for like a year and a half now.

170
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,278
Right now, you are you,
and you are screwed.

171
00:09:30,953 --> 00:09:34,047
- Why do we have to tell him I did it?
- Not gonna tell him I did it.

172
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:35,952
Okay, okay, how about this?

173
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:40,459
We tell him somebody broke in.

174
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,831
Just to shoot the couch
with a paintball gun?

175
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,903
I'm sorry, I buy it.
All those people are on drugs.

176
00:09:49,705 --> 00:09:53,732
We could tell him they wanted the couch
to stay away from their boyfriend.

177
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:58,809
Okay, fine.
Well, what if we just flip it over?

178
00:10:00,449 --> 00:10:02,110
There. Looks fine, right?

179
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:06,954
Butt print.
There's no discernible butt print.

180
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:10,291
Oh, come on.

181
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:13,619
There. Butt print.

182
00:10:14,397 --> 00:10:17,195
It's too small and too perfect.

183
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,302
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

184
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:23,636
Shh. Act normal.

185
00:10:23,806 --> 00:10:25,831
Sheldon!

186
00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:30,844
- How was the comic-book store?
- Fine. The new issue of <i>Flash</i> is out.

187
00:10:31,013 --> 00:10:32,378
Great, great.

188
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,176
Did you walk the whole way?
It's a little chilly.

189
00:10:35,351 --> 00:10:38,445
- Koothrappali picked me up.
- Isn't that terrific?

190
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:40,248
He is such a good friend.

191
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:42,948
You know what the best thing
about friends is?

192
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:46,526
They don't talk incessantly
for no particular reason?

193
00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:49,859
No, no, friends forgive the little things.

194
00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:52,796
- I'm gonna go home and wash my hair.
- Don't you dare, missy.

195
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:58,672
Hello, fastest man alive.

196
00:10:58,841 --> 00:11:02,277
Wanna see me
read your entire comic book?

197
00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:04,606
Wanna see it again?

198
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:26,000
Something's wrong.

199
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,266
- What do you mean?
- I'm not sure.

200
00:11:39,548 --> 00:11:41,846
It doesn't feel right.

201
00:11:42,585 --> 00:11:45,418
I don't know what you're talking about.

202
00:11:52,027 --> 00:11:54,086
Oh, that. Penny did that.

203
00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:07,599
[WHINES]

204
00:12:16,285 --> 00:12:18,014
Excuse me.

205
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,616
[MUMBLING]

206
00:12:33,869 --> 00:12:35,200
Oh, God.

207
00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:39,037
Why don't you just eat
in your desk chair?

208
00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:41,472
Why don't I just eat in my desk chair?

209
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:43,509
Here we go.

210
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:46,544
That is my desk chair.
That is where I work.

211
00:12:46,715 --> 00:12:50,310
I don't eat in my desk chair
and I don't work in my spot.

212
00:12:50,486 --> 00:12:54,013
I work in my desk chair
and eat in my spot.

213
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,919
Whackadoodle.

214
00:12:56,525 --> 00:13:00,393
You know, there's kind of
an obvious solution here. Get up.

215
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,365
There, problem solved.

216
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,531
Nobody cares where you're gonna sit.

217
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,104
You're not crazy.

218
00:13:14,243 --> 00:13:16,609
Excuse me,
but the problem is not solved.

219
00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:19,475
If your head
had been accidentally amputated...

220
00:13:19,648 --> 00:13:21,980
...and we transplanted a dog's head
in its place...

221
00:13:22,151 --> 00:13:23,880
...would that be "problem solved"?

222
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,078
If it were your head, it would be.

223
00:13:27,289 --> 00:13:30,383
Sheldon, I am really, really sorry,
but it's only for a week.

224
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,254
Can't you be a little bit flexible?

225
00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:39,028
Yeah, sorry,
I didn't really think that through.

226
00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:42,261
You claim it's going to be a week.
I have no faith in your cleaner.

227
00:13:42,438 --> 00:13:44,998
- Why not?
- Did you notice the sign on his counter?

228
00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:47,506
He's not a full-time dry cleaner.

229
00:13:47,676 --> 00:13:50,042
He also makes keys.

230
00:13:50,212 --> 00:13:52,112
Oh, for God's sake, Sheldon.

231
00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:53,543
Focus is important.

232
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:57,174
Was Michael DeBakey a wedding
planner in between heart transplants?

233
00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:59,719
Did Alexander Fleming
moonlight as a hair dresser?

234
00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:03,985
Thanks for discovering penicillin.
Now how about we try a bouffant?

235
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,418
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

236
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:10,893
Oh, looks like
I'm gonna have sex tonight.

237
00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:15,231
HOWARD: Hey, baby.
- His right hand is calling him?

238
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,570
No, it's Leslie Winkle. It's a long story.

239
00:14:21,143 --> 00:14:23,134
[SHELDON MOANING]

240
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,080
Sure. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes.

241
00:14:27,249 --> 00:14:29,080
Gentlemen, adieu.

242
00:14:29,251 --> 00:14:31,412
I thought we were gonna play
"Halo" tonight.

243
00:14:31,587 --> 00:14:32,815
What am I supposed to do?

244
00:14:32,988 --> 00:14:35,684
There's a woman out there
anxious to have sex with me.

245
00:14:35,858 --> 00:14:38,088
You understand, right?

246
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,695
No, not at all.

247
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,733
Nevertheless, I must depart.

248
00:14:45,901 --> 00:14:50,031
By the way, did I tell you Leslie pulled
strings and got me on the trip to Geneva...

249
00:14:50,205 --> 00:14:52,173
...to check out the CERN super collider?

250
00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:54,605
That's not fair.
You're not even a physicist.

251
00:14:54,777 --> 00:14:56,677
There are two ways
of looking at this--

252
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,870
- Get out.
- Bye.

253
00:15:02,351 --> 00:15:04,251
You're improving.

254
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,686
Thank you.

255
00:15:06,855 --> 00:15:10,256
It helps when I get to practice
with a real woman.

256
00:15:11,694 --> 00:15:14,458
Hey, listen.
Saturday, my sister's getting married.

257
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,622
I want you to come with me.
It's black tie.

258
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,668
Yeah, gee, I'd really rather not.

259
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:22,895
Why not?

260
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:27,270
When I go to weddings
it's to scam on chunky bridesmaids.

261
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,968
I don't know
what I would do with a date.

262
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,107
Oh, all right.

263
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:33,805
I understand.

264
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:35,644
Thanks.

265
00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,721
Hey, I'm really sorry
about that Geneva trip.

266
00:15:40,255 --> 00:15:42,280
- What about it?
- Oh, didn't you hear?

267
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:46,121
I had to reduce the number of people going
and you didn't make the cut.

268
00:15:47,062 --> 00:15:48,154
When did that happen?

269
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,628
About 12 seconds ago.

270
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:57,533
Hold on. Are you saying if I don't go
to the wedding, I can't go to Geneva?

271
00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:00,407
Well, actually, I'm trying not to say it.

272
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:04,273
Okay, I'm sorry,
but that makes me a little uncomfortable.

273
00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:06,846
- How so?
- Because it's like you're controlling me...

274
00:16:07,016 --> 00:16:09,712
...with new equipment
and research trips.

275
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:13,787
If I weren't controlling you with equipment
and trips, I'd be uncomfortable.

276
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:16,516
- How so?
- Because we'd be in a real relationship...

277
00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:18,990
...with feelings and all that crap.

278
00:16:21,296 --> 00:16:27,235
So bottom line,
I'm just a bought-and-paid-for sex toy.

279
00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:30,170
No.

280
00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:32,336
No, no, not at all.

281
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:34,840
You're also arm candy.

282
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:39,138
So, what do you think?

283
00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:42,282
[SHOUTING]
Hey, Ma, you gotta rent me a tux!

284
00:16:43,052 --> 00:16:44,781
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Right now?

285
00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:48,719
What kind of sex
are you having up there?

286
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,923
Why are you crouching there?

287
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,592
This is my spot.

288
00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:04,105
Where else am I supposed to crouch?

289
00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:05,731
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

290
00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:08,342
I don't know, Texas.

291
00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:13,273
Here. Fresh from the cleaners.
Good as new.

292
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,542
Really? Great.
Sheldon, look. Good as new.

293
00:17:15,718 --> 00:17:18,619
From that key maker? I highly doubt it.

294
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:22,249
Come on, Sheldon. Just give it a try.

295
00:17:24,059 --> 00:17:25,924
All right.

296
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:31,788
There. Nice and comfy-cozy.
Zero, zero, zero.

297
00:17:32,668 --> 00:17:34,966
There's one more zero.

298
00:17:35,537 --> 00:17:37,767
You forgot the time parameter.

299
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,464
Sit on the damn couch.

300
00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:04,956
Nope.

301
00:18:06,735 --> 00:18:08,828
What do you mean "nope"?
What's wrong with it?

302
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,802
Nothing, it's what's wrong with him.

303
00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:15,034
- It's exactly the same--
- Penny, Penny.

304
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,302
I know what to do.

305
00:18:17,613 --> 00:18:19,410
Sheldon, I have some bad news.

306
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:21,572
More?

307
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,074
I'm afraid so.

308
00:18:23,252 --> 00:18:25,720
You know the cashew chicken
I get you on Monday nights?

309
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:27,549
Yes, from Szechwan Palace.

310
00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:31,419
Szechwan Palace closed two years ago.

311
00:18:33,996 --> 00:18:35,520
What?

312
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:39,394
- Where did my cashew chicken come from?
- Golden Dragon.

313
00:18:44,773 --> 00:18:46,434
No.

314
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,405
No, this isn't right.

315
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,844
No, our food always comes
in Szechwan Palace containers.

316
00:18:54,016 --> 00:18:58,851
Yeah, well, before they went out of
business, I bought 4000 containers.

317
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:02,685
I keep them in the trunk of my car.

318
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,056
But--

319
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:08,619
Oh, this changes everything.

320
00:19:10,265 --> 00:19:13,132
I thought that might take
his mind off the cushion.

321
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:16,635
What's real? What isn't?
How can I know?

322
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:21,200
- You did make that up, right?
- Oh, God, I wish I had.

323
00:19:23,478 --> 00:19:24,877
- Leonard?
- Yeah, buddy?

324
00:19:25,047 --> 00:19:26,776
I still don't like this cushion.

325
00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:33,052
Okay, first of all...

326
00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:36,385
- ...Penny, thank you for coming.
- Oh, thanks for the shoes.

327
00:19:36,825 --> 00:19:40,124
Penny is an amazing shot. I think
we have a chance to win this week.

328
00:19:40,295 --> 00:19:42,695
- What's the plan?
- Okay. Now, we all run out...

329
00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:45,595
...Sheldon and I will cut to the left
behind these trees.

330
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,736
Raj, Howard and Leslie
flank to the right behind the rocks.

331
00:19:48,904 --> 00:19:52,396
We'll all have a great view as Penny
runs out and kills everyone in sight.

332
00:19:52,574 --> 00:19:55,407
All right, just one thing before we start.

333
00:19:55,577 --> 00:19:57,169
What is it, Sheldon?

334
00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:01,342
What the hell?

335
00:20:01,850 --> 00:20:04,478
That was for my cushion.

336
00:20:04,653 --> 00:20:07,053
Sheldon, Penny was our only hope.

337
00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:12,285
I'm sorry, Leonard.
But revenge is a dish best served cold.

338
00:20:13,428 --> 00:20:15,396
Screw that.

339
00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:19,493
She can't shoot me. She's dead.

340
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:22,396
He's right. You can't.

341
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:31,744
Well, if we're going to descend
into anarchy....

342
00:20:36,118 --> 00:20:38,109
Okay. See you.

343
00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:40,848
Where are you going?

344
00:20:41,023 --> 00:20:43,457
Surrender, then Denny's.

345
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,512
[ENGLISH SDH]

346
00:21:15,305 --> 00:22:15,661
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