1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,028
I'm telling you, if xenon emits
ultraviolet light,
2
00:00:04,029 --> 00:00:06,430
then those dark matter
discoveries must be wrong.
3
00:00:06,431 --> 00:00:08,432
Yes, well, if we lived
in a world
4
00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:10,468
where slow-moving xenon
produced light,
5
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:11,702
then you'd be correct.
6
00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:13,237
Also, pigs would fly,
7
00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:15,072
my derriere would produce
cotton candy,
8
00:00:15,073 --> 00:00:18,676
and The Phantom Menace
would be a timeless classic.
9
00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:19,877
Oh, you're so arrogant.
10
00:00:19,878 --> 00:00:21,178
If you were a superhero,
11
00:00:21,179 --> 00:00:22,947
your name would be
Captain Arrogant.
12
00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:25,116
And you know
what your superpower would be?
13
00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:26,617
Arrogance.
14
00:00:26,618 --> 00:00:28,886
You're wrong again.
15
00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:34,725
If my superpower were arrogance,
my name would be Dr. Arroganto.
16
00:00:34,726 --> 00:00:37,862
I love watching Raj and Sheldon
try to work together.
17
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,864
Yeah, it's like
if Alien and Predator decided
18
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:43,300
to go partners
in a Jamba Juice.
19
00:00:43,301 --> 00:00:45,169
Has it occurred to you
you're missing the big picture?
20
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,271
If you look at neutron
scattering data...
Oh, Penny?
21
00:00:47,272 --> 00:00:48,339
Penny?
What's up?
22
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,141
Nothing. I just wanted
23
00:00:50,142 --> 00:00:52,409
to make Raj stop talking.
24
00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,311
No, no, no.
25
00:00:54,312 --> 00:00:55,980
He won. Suck it up.
26
00:00:55,981 --> 00:00:58,415
Well, I'd ask you guys
if you want dessert,
27
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,618
but I know Sheldon doesn't
eat dessert on Tuesdays.
28
00:01:00,619 --> 00:01:03,087
And even if Raj wanted
something, he couldn't tell me.
29
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:04,321
Howard won't order anything,
30
00:01:04,322 --> 00:01:06,490
but he will come up
with some sort of skeevy comment
31
00:01:06,491 --> 00:01:08,125
involving the words pie
or cheesecake.
32
00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:10,327
And Leonard's
lactose intolerant,
33
00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:11,729
so he can't eat anything here
34
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,264
without his intestines
blowing up
35
00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:14,498
like a balloon animal.
36
00:01:14,499 --> 00:01:17,268
Hang on a second.
37
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:18,836
I could have the fruit platter.
38
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:19,804
You want the fruit platter?
39
00:01:19,805 --> 00:01:21,338
Does it have melon
on it?
Yeah.
40
00:01:21,339 --> 00:01:22,807
No, I can't eat melon.
41
00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:25,342
Oh, Howard,
heads up.
42
00:01:25,343 --> 00:01:28,512
Your ex-girlfriend just
came in for her shift.
43
00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:30,347
When was the last time
you saw her?
44
00:01:30,348 --> 00:01:31,949
Oh, not since we broke up.
45
00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:35,085
Wow. How am I going
to play this?
46
00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:37,154
Sophisticated and relaxed?
47
00:01:37,155 --> 00:01:38,556
Friendly, noncommittal?
48
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,357
Cold and distant?
49
00:01:43,628 --> 00:01:45,062
Hi, guys.
Hey.
50
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,831
Hello.
51
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:51,035
I see you decided to go
with pathetic and frightened.
52
00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:53,637
It's one of his best moves.
53
00:01:53,638 --> 00:01:57,274
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:00,611
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:00,612 --> 00:02:02,146
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
56
00:02:02,147 --> 00:02:04,782
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:04,783 --> 00:02:07,484
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:07,485 --> 00:02:10,120
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:10,121 --> 00:02:12,022
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:12,023 --> 00:02:12,881
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:12,891 --> 00:02:17,791
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x04 ♪
The Hot Troll Deviation
Original Air Date on October 14, 2010
62
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:20,952
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
63
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:28,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
64
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,416
So, my dear, we meet again.
65
00:02:44,286 --> 00:02:46,120
Hello, Howard.
66
00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:47,488
I've missed you.
67
00:02:47,489 --> 00:02:51,392
I've missed you,
Katee Sackhoff.
68
00:02:51,393 --> 00:02:53,694
One question.
Anything.
69
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:57,198
Why am I wearing my
Battlestar Galactica
flight suit in bed?
70
00:02:57,199 --> 00:03:00,334
Why are you in bed with me?
71
00:03:00,335 --> 00:03:04,138
If we start to question this,
it all falls apart.
72
00:03:04,139 --> 00:03:05,306
Sorry.
73
00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:08,542
Oh, ravish
me, Howard.
74
00:03:08,543 --> 00:03:10,778
My loins
ache for you.
75
00:03:11,813 --> 00:03:14,014
Okay, if you insist.
76
00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,451
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, have you seen
77
00:03:17,452 --> 00:03:18,819
my girdle?!
78
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:20,454
No, Ma!
79
00:03:20,455 --> 00:03:23,924
I can't find it, and I'm late
for my Weight Watchers meeting!
80
00:03:23,925 --> 00:03:26,060
Maybe it committed suicide!
81
00:03:26,061 --> 00:03:27,495
Leave me alone!
82
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,298
Now, where were we?
83
00:03:31,299 --> 00:03:33,334
I believe you
were about
84
00:03:33,335 --> 00:03:36,136
to rip off my uniform
with your teeth.
85
00:03:36,137 --> 00:03:37,671
Bernadette?!
86
00:03:37,672 --> 00:03:39,039
What are you doing here?
87
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,175
Well, if I had to
guess, I'd say I'm here
88
00:03:41,176 --> 00:03:42,776
because you saw me
earlier this evening,
89
00:03:42,777 --> 00:03:44,278
and you're still
hung up on me.
90
00:03:44,279 --> 00:03:45,513
No, I'm not.
91
00:03:45,514 --> 00:03:47,982
Clearly you are.
92
00:03:49,584 --> 00:03:51,785
Otherwise, based
on past experience,
93
00:03:51,786 --> 00:03:53,954
we'd be done by now.
94
00:03:54,890 --> 00:03:57,424
Okay,
I'm a little confused here.
95
00:03:57,425 --> 00:03:59,593
GEORGE TAKEI:
Oh, my.
96
00:03:59,594 --> 00:04:01,128
Can I help?
97
00:04:03,031 --> 00:04:05,566
Not that kind of confused.
98
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,401
What's George
Takei doing here?
99
00:04:07,402 --> 00:04:10,004
Howard, do you have
latent homosexual tendencies?
100
00:04:10,005 --> 00:04:12,039
No, of course not.
101
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,641
So you say.
102
00:04:13,642 --> 00:04:16,010
Yet, here I am.
103
00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:20,281
George, let me
ask you something.
104
00:04:20,282 --> 00:04:22,149
How did you deal
with being typecast
105
00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:23,617
as a science fiction icon?
106
00:04:23,618 --> 00:04:25,152
It's difficult.
107
00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:27,021
You try and stretch
as an actor--
108
00:04:27,022 --> 00:04:28,455
do Strindberg, O'Neill,
109
00:04:28,456 --> 00:04:32,560
but all they want is,
"Course laid in, Captain."
110
00:04:32,561 --> 00:04:33,827
Tell me about it.
111
00:04:33,828 --> 00:04:37,097
It's frackin'
frustrating.
112
00:04:37,098 --> 00:04:39,333
Wait. Katee,
why are you leaving?
113
00:04:39,334 --> 00:04:42,303
She's leaving because you
really want to be with me.
114
00:04:42,304 --> 00:04:45,873
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, I found my girdle!
115
00:04:45,874 --> 00:04:47,541
It was in the dryer!
116
00:04:47,542 --> 00:04:49,243
Great, Ma!
117
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:50,678
I think it shrunk!
118
00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:55,015
I'm spilling out like
the Pillsbury Doughboy here!
119
00:04:55,016 --> 00:04:57,151
And with that mental picture,
120
00:04:57,152 --> 00:04:59,720
I think we're done
for the evening.
121
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:07,428
You know, you never
told me what happened
122
00:05:07,429 --> 00:05:08,762
between you
and Bernadette.
123
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,364
I did a stupid thing.
124
00:05:10,365 --> 00:05:12,800
Yeah, I guessed that.
125
00:05:12,801 --> 00:05:14,335
It was the kind of thing
126
00:05:14,336 --> 00:05:16,837
that makes it kind of hard
to face her now.
127
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:19,506
That covers anything
from farting in bed
128
00:05:19,507 --> 00:05:22,142
to killing a homeless guy.
129
00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:24,345
Oh, my God.
130
00:05:24,346 --> 00:05:26,280
You ran over a hobo.
131
00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:28,582
No. Stop asking.
132
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:31,285
All right, fine. So you want to
get back together with her,
133
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:32,853
but you're too
ashamed to face her
134
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,521
because of whatever
it is you did.
135
00:05:34,522 --> 00:05:35,723
In a nutshell.
Okay.
136
00:05:35,724 --> 00:05:37,424
Well, how about this?
137
00:05:37,425 --> 00:05:39,593
Kidnap Bernadette from the opera
138
00:05:39,594 --> 00:05:42,896
wearing a creepy mask so
she doesn't know it's you.
139
00:05:42,897 --> 00:05:46,900
Now, you see, I don't know
if you're kidding or not.
140
00:05:46,901 --> 00:05:49,003
You're being
unreasonable.
141
00:05:49,004 --> 00:05:51,238
Why can't
I have a desk?!
142
00:05:51,239 --> 00:05:53,407
Our collaboration is a work
of the mind.
143
00:05:53,408 --> 00:05:54,842
We don't need desks.
144
00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,076
You have a desk.
145
00:05:56,077 --> 00:05:57,911
Correct.
But I can't have one.
146
00:05:57,912 --> 00:06:00,314
You're two for two.
147
00:06:00,315 --> 00:06:02,082
Why can't he have a desk,
Sheldon?
148
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,817
Oh, Lord, will
this day never end?
149
00:06:03,818 --> 00:06:06,954
As I've explained repeatedly
to Dr. Koothrappali,
150
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:09,356
whose ability to comprehend
the American idiom fails him
151
00:06:09,357 --> 00:06:10,758
when it's convenient,
152
00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:12,259
there's absolutely
no money
153
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,862
in my budget for
additional office furniture.
154
00:06:14,863 --> 00:06:17,765
Oh, but there's money
for a drawer full of Red Vines,
155
00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:19,366
a marshmallow shooting rifle,
156
00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:23,003
and a super executive ant farm
with glow-in-the-dark sand?
157
00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:26,240
Yes.
158
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,908
Okay, what if he
buys his own desk?
159
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,476
Yeah, what
if I buy my own desk?
160
00:06:29,477 --> 00:06:31,145
That's ridiculous.
Why?
161
00:06:31,146 --> 00:06:33,347
Because...
162
00:06:36,651 --> 00:06:37,885
Yes?
163
00:06:37,886 --> 00:06:40,487
It's my office.
164
00:06:41,456 --> 00:06:43,157
Sheldon.
All right, all right.
165
00:06:43,158 --> 00:06:45,025
He can buy his own desk.
166
00:06:45,026 --> 00:06:46,794
And I can put it in your office?
167
00:06:46,795 --> 00:06:48,162
Well, you really want
168
00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:50,464
to dot the I's and cross
the T's, don't you?
169
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,133
Why would you want
a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
170
00:06:53,134 --> 00:06:55,869
They do some
of their best work at night.
171
00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:03,477
Ah, it's okay.
172
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:06,747
Penny?
173
00:07:06,748 --> 00:07:08,315
Penny?
174
00:07:08,316 --> 00:07:10,517
Penny?
175
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:17,725
Penny?
176
00:07:20,662 --> 00:07:23,297
Would you have opened the door
if you knew it was me?
177
00:07:23,298 --> 00:07:24,565
Not since I found out
178
00:07:24,566 --> 00:07:27,801
the teddy bear you gave me
had a webcam in it.
179
00:07:27,802 --> 00:07:30,504
I just have a question.
180
00:07:30,505 --> 00:07:33,073
Does Bernadette
ever talk about me?
181
00:07:33,074 --> 00:07:34,041
Oh, absolutely.
182
00:07:34,042 --> 00:07:35,275
She does?
Yeah, sure.
183
00:07:35,276 --> 00:07:36,343
Just yesterday, she asked,
184
00:07:36,344 --> 00:07:38,779
"Why is Howard hiding
under the table?"
185
00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:41,215
She saw that, huh?
186
00:07:41,216 --> 00:07:42,416
Oh, no, not at first.
187
00:07:42,417 --> 00:07:44,351
Right after I pointed it out.
188
00:07:44,352 --> 00:07:45,919
Let me ask you something else.
189
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,255
Is she seeing anybody?
190
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:49,690
Oh, not that I know of.
191
00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:51,125
Hey, while
we're on the subject,
192
00:07:51,126 --> 00:07:52,793
why did you guys break up
anyway?
193
00:07:52,794 --> 00:07:54,862
Oh, I'd rather not say.
194
00:07:54,863 --> 00:07:57,097
Howard, if you want my help,
I've got to know what happened.
195
00:07:57,098 --> 00:07:58,632
But it's embarrassing...
196
00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:01,301
Yeah, that's what
I'm counting on. Spill.
197
00:08:02,403 --> 00:08:05,873
Okay. Well, you know
World of Warcraft?
198
00:08:05,874 --> 00:08:07,541
Um, the online game? Sure.
199
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,976
Well, did you know
200
00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:12,713
that the characters in the game
can have sex with each other?
201
00:08:14,182 --> 00:08:18,051
Oh, God. I think
I see where this is going.
202
00:08:18,052 --> 00:08:20,654
Her name was
Glissinda the Troll.
203
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:24,625
Bernadette walked in on me
204
00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:26,827
while we were doing
the cyber-nasty
205
00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:28,896
under the Bridge of Souls.
206
00:08:28,897 --> 00:08:31,098
Oh, you're right.
207
00:08:31,099 --> 00:08:32,966
That is so embarrassing.
208
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:35,135
Would you talk to her?
209
00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:37,171
Bernadette or the troll?
210
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:39,173
Bernadette. She
was so mad at me,
211
00:08:39,174 --> 00:08:41,809
she wouldn't even listen
to my side of the story.
212
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,243
Well, what was your side?
213
00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:44,478
Well, for all we know,
214
00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:46,480
Glissinda the Troll
wasn't even a real woman.
215
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:48,816
I mean, she could've been
a 50-year-old truck driver
216
00:08:48,817 --> 00:08:50,751
in New Jersey.
217
00:08:50,752 --> 00:08:54,454
Really? And that didn't
make her feel better?
218
00:08:54,455 --> 00:08:57,791
Will you talk to her, see
if there's any chance at all
219
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,426
we could get back together?
220
00:08:59,427 --> 00:09:00,994
Oh, gee, Howard,
I really don't want
221
00:09:00,995 --> 00:09:02,496
to get in the middle of this.
222
00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:04,064
No. Why would you?
223
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:08,402
I'm just another lonely
nerd, living with his mother,
224
00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:11,305
trying to find any scrap
of happiness he can.
225
00:09:11,306 --> 00:09:14,441
You know, maybe to make up
for the fact that his dad
226
00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:16,310
left him when
he was 11.
227
00:09:16,311 --> 00:09:18,645
Okay, I will think about it.
228
00:09:18,646 --> 00:09:21,148
You know, I've always
blamed myself
229
00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:22,583
for him leaving.
230
00:09:22,584 --> 00:09:26,153
I always thought it was because
I wasn't the son he wanted.
231
00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:27,621
Yeah, I said I'd
think about it.
232
00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:30,190
I wasn't athletic,
yeah, I was kind of sickly...
233
00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:32,860
Okay, fine. Look, look,
I'm calling her now! See?!
234
00:09:32,861 --> 00:09:35,329
Thank you.
235
00:09:37,732 --> 00:09:39,099
So anyway,
Howard asked Penny
236
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,934
to talk to Bernadette,
and she did,
237
00:09:40,935 --> 00:09:43,737
and Bernadette agreed to meet
him for a cup of coffee.
238
00:09:43,738 --> 00:09:45,138
One question.
Yeah?
239
00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:47,908
Why on earth
are you telling me all this?
240
00:09:47,909 --> 00:09:49,910
I don't know.
241
00:09:49,911 --> 00:09:52,312
Sometimes your movements
are so lifelike,
242
00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:54,815
I forget you're
not a real boy.
243
00:10:15,012 --> 00:10:16,779
You said I could
buy a desk.
244
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,915
This isn't a desk.
245
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:22,852
This is a...
Brobdingnagian
monstrosity.
246
00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:24,821
Is that the American idiom
247
00:10:24,822 --> 00:10:27,724
for "giant, big-ass desk"?
248
00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:30,560
It's actually British.
249
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:32,195
Can you say it again for me?
250
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,796
Brobdingnagian.
251
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:34,897
One more time?
252
00:10:34,898 --> 00:10:37,166
Brobdingnagian.
253
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,568
Now three times fast?
254
00:10:38,569 --> 00:10:40,570
Brobdingnagian, Brobdingna...
255
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:45,842
How did you even
get it in here?
256
00:10:45,843 --> 00:10:49,145
That's for me, Ramon, Julio,
Jesus and Rodrigo to know
257
00:10:49,146 --> 00:10:50,713
and you to find out.
258
00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:54,283
All right, you've
made your point.
259
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:57,153
A fine prank, very amusing.
260
00:10:57,154 --> 00:10:59,656
Now get it out.
261
00:10:59,657 --> 00:11:01,057
No.
262
00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:02,258
Yes.
263
00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:03,259
Yes.
No.
264
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:04,861
Yes!
I have three brothers
265
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:07,630
and two sisters, Sheldon--
I can do this all day.
266
00:11:07,631 --> 00:11:10,333
All right, if you're
not going to remove it,
267
00:11:10,334 --> 00:11:11,934
I'll remove it for you.
268
00:11:11,935 --> 00:11:13,236
Knock yourself out.
269
00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:27,550
Help me move my desk.
270
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:28,685
No.
Yes.
271
00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:29,752
No.
Yes.
272
00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:33,489
No. It's too Brobdingnagian.
273
00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:36,426
Why do you even want this here?
274
00:11:36,427 --> 00:11:39,696
Its size is completely
disproportionate
to its purpose.
275
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,964
Well, seeing as its purpose
was to piss you off,
276
00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,967
I'd say it's spot-on.
277
00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,838
All right, I see
what's going on.
278
00:11:48,839 --> 00:11:51,607
This is the opening
salvo in what will be
279
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:55,712
an escalating series of
juvenile tit-for-tat exchanges.
280
00:11:55,713 --> 00:11:57,947
Well titted.
281
00:11:57,948 --> 00:11:58,948
Thank you.
282
00:11:58,949 --> 00:12:01,918
Stand by for my upcoming tat.
283
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,019
Hey, Sheldon?
284
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,053
Yes?
285
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,855
No.
286
00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:08,458
See what I did there?
I turned it around.
287
00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:15,398
Sorry,
288
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:16,632
I had to clock out.
289
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,034
Oh, no, that's okay.
290
00:12:18,035 --> 00:12:20,069
How have you been?
291
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:23,806
Okay. You know,
busy, schoolwork. You?
292
00:12:23,807 --> 00:12:26,809
Same. I took a scuba-diving
course over the summer,
293
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:30,346
but it turns out I'm
terrified of the ocean.
294
00:12:30,347 --> 00:12:32,014
Too bad.
295
00:12:32,015 --> 00:12:36,385
You wouldn't know anybody
who wants to buy a wet
suit, boy's large?
296
00:12:37,554 --> 00:12:40,056
Yeah, forget it.
Not important.
297
00:12:40,057 --> 00:12:43,259
So, are you
seeing anyone?
298
00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:45,228
Well, to be honest, I...
Hey, how are we
299
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:47,396
doing over here? Can I
get you something to drink?
300
00:12:47,397 --> 00:12:49,165
Not for me, thanks.
I'm okay.
301
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:50,633
Are you gonna want
to order food?
302
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:51,667
Maybe later.
Okay.
303
00:12:51,668 --> 00:12:53,736
So, are you seeing anybody?
304
00:12:53,737 --> 00:12:54,871
No.
305
00:12:54,872 --> 00:12:56,839
That's what I told him
when he asked me.
306
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,641
I hope that's not out of line.
307
00:12:58,642 --> 00:13:01,778
No, it's fine.
Penny, can we have
a little privacy?
308
00:13:01,779 --> 00:13:04,347
Oh. I'm sorry.
309
00:13:05,716 --> 00:13:09,352
What about you,
have you been seeing anybody?
310
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,687
Well, you know
how it is with guys.
311
00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,289
I mean, we have needs and...
312
00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:15,424
So you've been seeing
other girls?
313
00:13:15,425 --> 00:13:18,361
Well, not real girls.
314
00:13:19,897 --> 00:13:23,199
Does that mean slutty trolls?
315
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,400
You know, you look thirsty.
316
00:13:24,401 --> 00:13:26,402
I brought you some iced tea.
Thank you.
317
00:13:26,403 --> 00:13:28,304
It's passion fruit,
new on the menu.
318
00:13:28,305 --> 00:13:30,540
I know. I work here.
Oh, sorry.
319
00:13:31,575 --> 00:13:33,543
Yeah, you're right. Doy.
320
00:13:33,544 --> 00:13:34,644
So, Howard,
321
00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:35,745
yay or nay?
322
00:13:35,746 --> 00:13:38,281
Isn't there somewhere else
you can be?
323
00:13:38,282 --> 00:13:40,550
Not where I can hear you guys.
324
00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:43,953
Okay, fine.
325
00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:48,391
I'll admit, there are dark,
sordid little corners
326
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,693
of the Internet
where the name Wolowizard
327
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:52,562
is whispered in hushed tones.
328
00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:56,165
The only reason I go there,
329
00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,234
the only reason
I've ever gone there
330
00:13:58,235 --> 00:14:01,637
is because I don't have
a real woman in my life.
331
00:14:02,673 --> 00:14:05,641
You happy?
Yeah, that'll hold me
for a while.
332
00:14:07,244 --> 00:14:09,111
Howard, you did have
a real woman.
333
00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:11,247
I was right there
in the next room
334
00:14:11,248 --> 00:14:14,483
while you were clicking
that troll's brains out.
335
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:18,921
Yeah, but we
weren't...
336
00:14:18,922 --> 00:14:20,590
I-I mean, you
and I never...
337
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,858
Had sex?
338
00:14:21,859 --> 00:14:22,925
Yeah.
339
00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:24,227
Well, whose fault was that?
340
00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:26,596
Complimentary nachos!
341
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,198
You enjoy.
342
00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:31,767
Never had sex? Wow.
343
00:14:31,768 --> 00:14:34,637
What do you mean,
whose fault was that?
344
00:14:34,638 --> 00:14:36,205
Well, we could've
been having sex,
345
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:37,640
but you never made the move.
346
00:14:37,641 --> 00:14:40,109
I didn't think you wanted me
to make the move.
347
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:43,012
Howard, a girl doesn't go out
with a man like you,
348
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:44,881
with your looks,
your fancy patter
349
00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:48,451
and your tight hoochie pants
if she's not expecting him
350
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:51,053
to eventually make the move.
351
00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:52,722
Really?
352
00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:53,789
Really.
353
00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:56,692
Son of a bitch.
354
00:14:56,693 --> 00:14:59,462
Hey, this is a little awkward,
but my manager says
355
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,564
I can't actually
give nachos away.
356
00:15:01,565 --> 00:15:05,001
So... just take that
when you're ready.
357
00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:09,372
Yeah, we had
a really great talk,
358
00:15:09,373 --> 00:15:11,641
and we're gonna start
seeing each other again.
359
00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:12,742
Oh, congratulations.
360
00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:16,078
Have you broken it
to the troll yet?
361
00:15:16,079 --> 00:15:17,880
Did Penny tell you about that?
362
00:15:17,881 --> 00:15:19,849
No. Steve Patterson told me.
363
00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:23,953
The greasy old fat guy
in Facilities Management?
364
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:26,255
Yeah.
How'd he know about it?
365
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:29,058
He's Glissinda the troll.
366
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,760
Sorry, dude,
367
00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:32,762
the thermostat's
on my side of the room,
368
00:15:32,763 --> 00:15:37,033
so it stays Mumbai hot
in here until you turn off
that stupid Indian music!
369
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,701
I'll turn off the music
370
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:41,137
when you get rid of that
salmonella-ridden parakeet!
371
00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:44,340
Oh, too bad! Sheldon's
pathologically
afraid of birds!
372
00:15:44,341 --> 00:15:47,677
Hey, look, Sheldon!
Birdie, birdie, birdie!
373
00:15:47,678 --> 00:15:50,379
That's it! Prepare
for marshmallow death!
374
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:51,981
Eat flaming Nerf!
375
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:03,826
So anyway...
376
00:16:03,827 --> 00:16:06,228
That's great news
about you and Bernadette.
377
00:16:06,229 --> 00:16:08,698
Yeah. I think I'm gonna take
her to miniature golf.
378
00:16:08,699 --> 00:16:09,799
Ah. Well, I guess
379
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,835
for you guys that's
like regular golf.
380
00:16:12,836 --> 00:16:15,671
Short jokes? Really?
You're, like,
381
00:16:15,672 --> 00:16:17,340
a quarter of an inch
taller than me.
382
00:16:17,341 --> 00:16:19,976
Yeah, and don't
you forget it.
383
00:16:21,178 --> 00:16:23,813
I had a good time.
384
00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:25,481
Me, too.
385
00:16:25,482 --> 00:16:28,551
Kiss her good night.
386
00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:34,991
All right, now a little tongue.
387
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,459
GEORGE TAKEI:
Hold on there.
388
00:16:38,261 --> 00:16:41,630
We've only just rekindled
the romance.
389
00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:46,736
Let's not sully the moment
with the exchange of saliva.
390
00:16:46,737 --> 00:16:48,738
Don't listen to him.
391
00:16:48,739 --> 00:16:50,206
She wants it.
392
00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:51,273
Tongue.
393
00:16:51,274 --> 00:16:53,476
La, la, la, la, la.
394
00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:56,479
See?
395
00:16:58,448 --> 00:17:00,116
Now make the move.
396
00:17:00,117 --> 00:17:02,151
Mm-mmm.
Too soon.
397
00:17:02,152 --> 00:17:03,953
Trust me, she's ready.
398
00:17:03,954 --> 00:17:05,321
Make the move.
399
00:17:05,322 --> 00:17:06,422
No, no, no.
400
00:17:06,423 --> 00:17:09,458
A lady wants to be wooed,
401
00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:13,029
courted slowly.
402
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,931
How would you know?
403
00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,868
I read.
404
00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:21,237
Listen to me, Howard, it's time.
405
00:17:21,238 --> 00:17:23,506
Make the move, now.
406
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:28,044
Mm! What are you doing?
407
00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:32,014
You said... well,
the "move," remember?
408
00:17:32,015 --> 00:17:33,115
Oh, not now.
409
00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:34,417
We're starting a
new relationship.
410
00:17:34,418 --> 00:17:36,452
I need to get to
know you again.
411
00:17:36,453 --> 00:17:37,720
No, you don't.
412
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:39,255
It's me.
413
00:17:39,256 --> 00:17:41,924
The lusty charmer
with the fancy patter
414
00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:44,160
and the hoochie pants.
415
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:47,963
Be patient;
we'll get there.
416
00:17:55,038 --> 00:17:57,073
Told you.
417
00:18:01,573 --> 00:18:04,775
Oh, God, what's that smell?
418
00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:07,060
Oh-ho-hoo!
419
00:18:08,062 --> 00:18:09,929
Yes?
420
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:12,365
What are you
doing in there?
421
00:18:12,366 --> 00:18:15,835
I'm making
hydrogen sulfide
and ammonia gas.
422
00:18:15,836 --> 00:18:19,439
Just a little experiment
in pest control.
423
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,275
It's not gonna work, dude;
I grew up in India--
424
00:18:22,276 --> 00:18:24,777
an entire subcontinent
where cows walk in the street,
425
00:18:24,778 --> 00:18:27,480
and nobody has ever had
a solid bowel movement.
426
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,817
Well, we'll just see
how long you can hold out.
427
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,984
Well, we'll just see how
428
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,120
your noxious gas fares
against my cinnamon-
429
00:18:34,121 --> 00:18:37,690
apple-scented
aroma therapy candles.
430
00:18:37,691 --> 00:18:40,426
Didn't you say you're
making hydrogen sulfide gas?
431
00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:42,462
Yes.
Isn't that flammable?
432
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:43,730
Highly.
433
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,499
Oh, dear.
434
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:56,809
This is not over.
435
00:18:56,810 --> 00:19:00,713
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
435
00:19:01,305 --> 00:20:01,948
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