1
00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:06,290
All right, I'm ready
for my next question.
2
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:10,040
In a world where rhinoceroses
are domesticated pets,
3
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,040
who wins the Second World War?
4
00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:16,250
Uganda.
5
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,250
Defend.
6
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,100
Kenya rises to power
7
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,720
on the export of rhinoceroses.
8
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,920
A Central African
power block is formed,
9
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,020
colonizing North Africa and Europe.
10
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:28,440
When war breaks out, no one can
afford the luxury of a rhino.
11
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,830
Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs.
12
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:33,950
Correct.
13
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,270
My turn.
14
00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:41,310
In a world where a piano is a weapon,
not a musical instrument,
15
00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:45,090
on what does Scott Joplin
play "The Maple Leaf Rag"?
16
00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:47,880
Tuned bayonets.
17
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:48,950
Defend.
18
00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:49,880
Isn't it obvious?
19
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,450
You're right. My apologies.
20
00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:57,470
What the hell are you guys playing?
21
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,220
It's a game we invented.
22
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:01,430
It's called Counterfactuals.
23
00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:03,790
We postulate an alternate
world that differs from ours
24
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,310
in one key aspect and then
pose questions to each other.
25
00:01:06,310 --> 00:01:08,150
It's fun for ages eight to 80.
26
00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:09,600
Join us.
27
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,100
All right.
28
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,570
I like a good brainteaser.
29
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,150
Give it a whirl.
30
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,740
You're in luck;
this is an easy one.
31
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:18,790
In a world where mankind is ruled
32
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:21,310
by a giant intelligent beaver,
33
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,780
what food is no longer consumed?
34
00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:28,690
Uh... a BLT where the
"B" stands for beaver?
35
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:29,900
I don't know.
36
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:31,990
Leonard, be serious.
37
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:33,760
We're playing a game here.
38
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,710
(clears throat)
39
00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:35,830
I can figure this out.
40
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:36,860
Let's see.
41
00:01:36,860 --> 00:01:39,630
Um, well, beavers eat tree bark.
42
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:43,020
The only tree bark I know that
humans consume is cinnamon.
43
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,640
So, I'll say cinnamon.
44
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:45,670
Incorrect.
45
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:49,160
Obviously, the answer
is cheese Danish.
46
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,510
What?
47
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,230
In a world ruled by a giant beaver,
48
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:56,510
mankind builds many dams to
please the beaver overlord.
49
00:01:56,510 --> 00:01:58,900
The low-lying city of
Copenhagen is flooded.
50
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:00,180
Thousands die.
51
00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:04,640
Devastated, the Danes never
invent their namesake pastry.
52
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,240
How does one miss that?
53
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,630
This is ridiculous.
54
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,160
You're just making stuff up.
55
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,480
Is he always like
this when he loses?
56
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,900
Oh, yes.
57
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:20,740
You should've been here for the
great Jenga tantrum of 2008.
58
00:02:22,370 --> 00:02:24,790
You bumped the table
and you know it.
59
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:30,810
Perhaps it would be
kinder to play a game
60
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,850
more suited to his abilities.
61
00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:36,650
We'll close our eyes and
count to ten while you hide.
62
00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:39,320
I'm going to my room.
63
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,570
Very good, Leonard.
64
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:42,740
But next time, don't tell
us where you're hiding.
65
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:49,330
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
66
00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:52,650
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
67
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,290
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
68
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,820
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
69
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:59,510
♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We
built the pyramids ♪
70
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:02,160
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
71
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,060
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
72
00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:05,030
♪ Bang! ♪
73
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,440
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x03 ♪
The Zazzy Substitution
Original Air Date on October 7, 2010
74
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:10,450
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
75
00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:12,340
Did you guys see the paper
76
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:14,430
in The American Physics
Journal on supersolids?
77
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,630
It's pretty interesting.
78
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:16,870
This guy's working from
a hypothesis where...
79
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,850
Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert.
80
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,640
What? Don't ruin it for me, man.
81
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,480
I printed out a PDF
to read on the potty.
82
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,530
On the potty?
83
00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:25,580
What are you, five?
84
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,560
It's a potty. What do you call it?
85
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,580
Toilet.
86
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:29,570
That's a little vulgar for
87
00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:30,700
the dinner table, don't you think?
88
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,820
Oh, and "potty" is okay?
89
00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:33,820
"Potty" is innocent.
90
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:34,940
"Potty" is adorable.
91
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:37,710
What do you do in the potty,
wee-wee?
92
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:40,040
If I don't have to boom-boom.
93
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,410
Greetings.
94
00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:44,580
You all remember Amy Farrah Fowler.
95
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:45,800
Nice to see you. Hello.
96
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,830
Sorry we're late.
97
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:48,880
I must take responsibility.
98
00:03:48,890 --> 00:03:50,550
I had to stop for
feminine hygiene supplies.
99
00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:51,720
Aha. Okay.
100
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,890
I believe she's
experiencing her menses.
101
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,140
Actually, I'm not.
102
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,890
In order to avoid surprises,
I wear them all the time.
103
00:03:57,890 --> 00:03:59,090
Aha. Okay.
104
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:02,480
"Toilet's" sounding
pretty good now, huh?
105
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,900
Hey, look, it's Shamy.
106
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,240
Shamy?
107
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,410
A juvenile amalgamation
of our names.
108
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:12,940
Sheldon, Amy-- Shamy.
109
00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:14,280
Oh.
110
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,280
I don't like that.
111
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,330
Don't do that.
112
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,060
(awkward chuckle)
113
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:19,410
All righty. What's new?
114
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:22,000
Well, just recently, I learned
that you refer to us as Shamy,
115
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,240
and I don't like that.
116
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,070
I got it.
117
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:27,860
But what I was going for was,
you know, how's your life?
118
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:29,680
Like everybody else's.
119
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,790
Subject to entropy,
decay and eventual death.
120
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:35,480
Thank you for asking.
121
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,270
Why is she not taking our order?
122
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,470
I should've warned you,
123
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:41,940
one has to navigate a
labyrinth of social nonsense
124
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,610
before one can be fed here.
125
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:44,940
AMY: Really?
126
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:46,640
I assumed an establishment called
127
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,440
the Cheesecake Factory would
function more efficiently.
128
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:50,760
It's how they lure you in.
129
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,030
I believe it's called "
bait and switch."
130
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,900
Okay, I'm just gonna walk away,
131
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,990
'cause... I don't want to be here.
132
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:03,930
So, this is nice.
133
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,780
First time we've all
gotten together to eat.
134
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:09,060
You're right, he's a
festival of humdrum chitchat.
135
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,050
Okay, that's all I got.
136
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,300
Howard, you're up.
137
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,810
Um... tell us about your work, Amy.
138
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,510
I doubt you'd understand.
139
00:05:19,510 --> 00:05:22,260
Sheldon tells me you only
have a master's degree.
140
00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,650
Raj, do you have any
questions for Amy?
141
00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:33,060
I'm curious as to why
we're not eating alone.
142
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,120
They can't function without me.
143
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,980
I'm the social glue that holds
this little group together.
144
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:41,450
You're welcome.
145
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:46,700
Listen, can I talk to you
about your girlfriend?
146
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,500
She's not my girlfriend.
147
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,460
She's a girl and she's my friend,
148
00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:54,180
but there's no touching or
unsanitary exchange of saliva.
149
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,050
Got it.
150
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,010
Although, for the record,
on one occasion,
151
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,670
she licked her thumb to
remove raspberry jelly
152
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,520
from the corner of my mouth.
153
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,940
It's an action we both
regret to this day.
154
00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:07,020
Uh-huh.
155
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:09,360
Anyway, I'm not sure
she's the best fit
156
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,010
for our little-- how should
we call it-- rebel alliance.
157
00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:16,400
Oh, I never identified
with the rebel alliance.
158
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,820
Despite their tendency
to build Death Stars,
159
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:21,070
I've always been more
of an empire man.
160
00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:24,020
Yeah, not my point.
161
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:25,240
I know what your point is.
162
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,290
You're intimidated
by Amy's intellect.
163
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,750
To that I say, buck up.
164
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,960
Okay, let me just
165
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,050
get right to it.
166
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:35,380
Amy is judgmental,
sanctimonious and frankly...
167
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:38,650
just obnoxious.
168
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,420
So?
169
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:42,810
So we already have
you for all that.
170
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:47,400
Are you suggesting I terminate
my relationship with Amy?
171
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,810
No, no, of course not.
172
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,900
Just have your relationship
someplace else.
173
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:55,520
May I point out that
for eight long months,
174
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,390
I suffered in silence
as your female companion
175
00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:00,610
filled our apartment with her
176
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:03,450
off-key country music caterwauling,
177
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:04,900
the unappetizing spectacle
178
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:08,580
of her grinding a pumice stone
against her calloused feet
179
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,200
in our living room,
180
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,570
and night after night of
uninformative TV documentaries
181
00:07:13,570 --> 00:07:16,120
about the Jersey Shore.
182
00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:20,430
Suffered in silence?
183
00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:22,430
Yes.
184
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,720
And I'd thank you to do the same.
185
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,640
Reall-- Silence?!
186
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,430
(sighs): Ah.
187
00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:37,230
Nothing makes beer
taste better than
188
00:07:37,230 --> 00:07:41,220
cool clear Rocky
Mountain spring water.
189
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:43,340
Where are the Rocky
Mountains, anyway?
190
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,010
Philadelphia.
191
00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,020
Really?
192
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,460
I thought they were
out West someplace.
193
00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:50,610
Think about it, Raj.
194
00:07:50,610 --> 00:07:53,980
Where did the movie
Rocky take place?
195
00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:56,550
Philadelphia.
196
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:58,500
Okay, now I get it.
197
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:01,090
So this is the plan?
198
00:08:01,090 --> 00:08:03,050
From now on, we're just
gonna hide out in here
199
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,220
to avoid the Shamy?
200
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,810
I'm very comfortable here.
201
00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:11,350
Penny, dear, why don't you shoot
another silver bullet my way?
202
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,400
Get one yourself.
203
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,650
Ooh, somebody's been
taking bitchy pills.
204
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:20,310
God, he's an ass when he drinks.
205
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,660
Oh, he's an ass when he doesn't.
206
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,860
You just don't hear it.
207
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:26,810
Think we need to start
entertaining the possibility
208
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,660
that the Shamy could
go on for years.
209
00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:31,370
Well, if that's the case,
Penny will have to get satellite TV
210
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:34,090
and maybe once a week run a
vacuum through this place.
211
00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:40,130
I thought you were going
to talk to Sheldon.
212
00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:41,990
I did. Well, what'd he say?
213
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:44,130
Well, he pointed out that
he kinda sorta had to...
214
00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:45,600
put up with you.
215
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,550
Kinda sorta had to?
216
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:48,850
I didn't agree with him.
217
00:08:48,850 --> 00:08:49,850
Well, you defended me, right?
218
00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:52,690
I tried, but...
219
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:59,010
...he made a fairly
well-reasoned argument.
220
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:02,280
You're not doing that right.
221
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,280
What?
222
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,520
Gimme.
223
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,730
No. Trust me.
224
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,450
No! I do this for
my mom all the time.
225
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,620
See?
226
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,740
With the grain.
227
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:16,360
Wow, that is better.
228
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,050
And someday, when you
have varicose veins,
229
00:09:19,050 --> 00:09:20,970
I'll show you how to massage them.
230
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,890
Oh, God, never again.
231
00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:30,880
I assume by "never again,
" you mean never again will you drink
232
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,260
all of Penny's beer,
then run down to the gas station
233
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,480
for a couple of 40s,
a box of Slim Jims
234
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,400
and the latest issue of
Bombay Badonkadonks.
235
00:09:40,270 --> 00:09:42,590
I was homesick.
236
00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:44,690
The highlight of the evening
was when you showed us
237
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:46,780
your Bollywood break
dancing skills.
238
00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:48,990
(humming Indian music)
239
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,540
That's very offensive.
240
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,620
Yeah, we all thought so.
241
00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:00,920
LEONARD: Oh, no.
242
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,920
What?
243
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,290
It's John and Yoko.
244
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:07,050
More like Yoko and Yoko.
245
00:10:07,050 --> 00:10:08,750
Greetings. Hey.
246
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:09,970
I brought Amy here
247
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:12,220
to show her some of
the work I'm doing.
248
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,600
It's very impressive,
for theoretical work.
249
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,760
Do I detect a hint
of condescension?
250
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,960
I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?
251
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,400
I meant compared to the
real-world applications
252
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,430
of neurobiology,
theoretical physics is--
253
00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:28,630
what's the word I'm looking for?--
hmm, cute.
254
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,570
(Leonard and Wolowitz oohing)
255
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:34,320
Are you suggesting the
work of a neurobiologist
256
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,690
like Babinski could ever
rise to the significance
257
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:41,050
of a physicist like
Clarke-Maxwell or Dirac?
258
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,750
I'm stating it outright.
259
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,750
Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast
260
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,650
and defecates Clarke-Maxwell.
261
00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:51,660
You take that back.
262
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,530
Absolutely not.
263
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,760
My colleagues and I are mapping
264
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,730
the neurological
substrates that subserve
265
00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:58,880
global information processing,
266
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,980
which is required for
all cognitive reasoning,
267
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:04,690
including scientific inquiry,
making my research ipso facto
268
00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:06,020
prior in the ordo cognoscendi.
269
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,720
That means it's better
than his research,
270
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,740
and by extension, of course, yours.
271
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,530
I'm sorry, I'm-I'm still trying
272
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:19,830
to work on the defecating
Clark Maxwell, so...
273
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,370
Excuse me, but a
grand unified theory,
274
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:26,960
insofar as it explains everything,
275
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,010
will ipso facto
explain neurobiology.
276
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:31,630
Yes, but if I'm successful,
277
00:11:31,630 --> 00:11:34,130
I will be able to map and
reproduce your thought processes
278
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:36,020
in deriving a grand unified theory,
279
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:38,890
and therefore, subsume your
conclusions under my paradigm.
280
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:42,440
That's the rankest psychologism,
281
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,840
and was conclusively
revealed as hogwash
282
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,960
by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s!
283
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,070
We appear to have
reached an impasse.
284
00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,730
I agree.
285
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:55,370
I move our relationship
terminate immediately.
286
00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:57,370
Seconded.
287
00:11:57,370 --> 00:11:58,470
There being no objections...
288
00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:01,210
ALL: Uh-uh.
289
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,910
...the motion carries.
290
00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:04,880
Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler.
291
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,880
Good day, Sheldon Cooper.
292
00:12:11,370 --> 00:12:12,890
Women, huh?
293
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,420
Can't live with them,
294
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,840
can't successfully
refute their hypotheses.
295
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,010
Amen to that.
296
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,700
Hey, Sheldon.
297
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,340
Hello.
298
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,090
I hear you broke up with Amy.
299
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:37,510
A breakup would imply
she was my girlfriend.
300
00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:39,130
She was a girl who was my friend
301
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:42,570
who is now a girl who
is not my friend.
302
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:46,150
Wow. That's like the
worst country song ever.
303
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,640
So, how are you doing?
304
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:51,910
Regarding what?
305
00:12:51,910 --> 00:12:53,040
Amy.
306
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,140
I don't follow.
307
00:12:55,150 --> 00:13:00,370
Well, breakups-- or whatever the
hell this is-- can be tough.
308
00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:02,370
Penny, I assure you, I'm fine.
309
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:05,540
My relationship with Amy
was purely intellectual,
310
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,990
There were no emotional bonds,
311
00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:10,330
the severing of which would
cause me any discomfort.
312
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:13,000
The relationship simply
outlived its utility,
313
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,970
and I'm continuing on
with my life as before.
314
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,850
Okay. Good.
315
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:21,690
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to buy a pussycat.
316
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:25,560
I gotta tell you guys,
317
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,140
I'm a little worried about Sheldon.
318
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,980
We're all a little
worried about Sheldon.
319
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:33,020
No, I mean since the
Shamy hit a reef.
320
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,280
Oh, I thought you were just
making a generalization:
321
00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,700
"You know,
I'm worried about Sheldon
322
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:38,900
"someday setting off a
low-yield nuclear device
323
00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:41,660
because the cafeteria
ran out of lime Jell-O."
324
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,040
What does "hit a reef" mean?
325
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,580
Uh, went splitsville.
326
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:46,580
Pardon?
327
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:49,170
Turned to boom-boom.
328
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,920
Ah.
329
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,390
I think Sheldon really misses Amy.
330
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:57,660
You should lend him your copy of
Bombay Badonkadonks.
331
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:59,840
He got a cat to keep him company.
332
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,840
You're kidding.
333
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,090
He takes it everywhere:
334
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,950
to bed, to the bathroom.
335
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,900
He takes the kitty to the potty?
336
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,520
I thought we discussed the P-word.
337
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,090
Don't try to change me, dude.
338
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:12,070
I am what I am.
339
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:15,390
Oh, gentlemen.
340
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,440
Hey. Aren't you going
to introduce us
341
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,110
to your little friend?
342
00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:20,580
My apologies.
343
00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:25,350
Raj, Howard, I'd like you to meet Dr.
Robert Oppenheimer.
344
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,620
Hello. Hi.
345
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:29,910
Now, if you'll excuse me,
346
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:33,430
the father of the atomic
bomb wants a saucer of milk.
347
00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:37,550
Okay, I get it.
We're worried about Sheldon.
348
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:39,010
Yeah.
349
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,850
Hey.
350
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:46,370
Oh, no.
351
00:14:46,370 --> 00:14:48,970
Robert Oppenheimer was lonely.
352
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:52,200
So you decided to get the
whole Manhattan Project?
353
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:58,210
Yes. This is Enrico Fermi, Richard Feynman,
Edward Teller, Otto Frisch...
354
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,920
...Zazzles.
- Zazzles?
355
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,170
I was going to name him Hermann Von Helmholtz
356
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:07,290
but he's so zazzy.
357
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:12,460
Okay, we need to talk.
358
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,720
About what?
359
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,330
Cats, Sheldon.
360
00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:17,340
You're clearly upset
about Amy being gone,
361
00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:20,060
and you're trying to replace
her with a bunch of cats.
362
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:21,640
Clowder. What?
363
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,010
A group of cats is a clowder.
Or a glaring.
364
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,060
Okay, yeah, fine.
365
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,760
It's the kind of thing you ought
366
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,430
to know now that we have one.
367
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:32,690
Terrific. My point is,
you need to face up
368
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:34,650
to what you're feeling
with this breakup.
369
00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:35,910
It wasn't a breakup.
370
00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:37,810
A breakup would imply that
Amy was my girlfriend.
371
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:40,330
Okay, I got it, I got it;
she's not your girlfriend.
372
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,690
Now listen to me.
373
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:45,280
I know about loneliness.
374
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,620
I know about trying to replace
someone with other stuff.
375
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:50,500
When I broke up with Penny,
I got back into my cello,
376
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,620
I built a bunch of model rockets,
377
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:57,140
I got those weightlifting gloves
and that five-pound dumbbell.
378
00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,510
You didn't break up,
she dumped you.
379
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,460
She didn't dump me.
380
00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:03,850
It was mutual!
381
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,520
I was there. She dumped you.
382
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,900
Okay, fine.
383
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,190
Live with cats.
384
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:09,470
Be like my Aunt Nancy.
385
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,840
She had dozens of them.
386
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,310
And do you know what happened
after she died? They ate her.
387
00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:15,980
You don't have to sell
me on cats, Leonard.
388
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:17,200
I'm already a fan.
389
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:25,870
All right, fellas,
who's in the mood for Fancy Feast?
390
00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:28,860
Well, that's not fancy at all.
391
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:35,210
Hi, Mrs. Cooper. Thanks for coming.
392
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:36,300
Where is he?
393
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,470
He's in his bedroom.
394
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:40,250
Now, when you said on the phone
395
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,760
he broke up with a girl,
you meant an actual girl,
396
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,260
not something you kids
whipped up in a lab?
397
00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:46,810
No, she's real.
398
00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:48,840
Did they sin?
399
00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,880
No, no, it's not like that.
400
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,980
It's, uh...
401
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:54,680
I don't know what it's like.
402
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,600
But there is something I
should prepare you for.
403
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,270
Oh, relax, Leonard,
I have raised that boy.
404
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,830
I've seen him at his best,
I've seen him at his worst.
405
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,440
There's nothing he can
do that'll surprise me.
406
00:17:05,450 --> 00:17:07,280
Hold on to that thought.
407
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,660
(knocks)
408
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:10,080
Come in.
409
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,870
(cats meowing)
410
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:16,070
Surprise.
411
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:18,870
Mom, what an unexpected pleasure.
412
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,710
My, my, that's a powerful smell.
413
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:26,720
I'd like you to meet Oppenheimer,
Frisch, Panofsky,
414
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,430
Feynman, Weisskopf...
415
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,600
Yeah, I get it.
416
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,390
You got a lot of cats
417
00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:33,410
and you gave 'em cute Jewish names.
418
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,270
What are you doing here?
419
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,530
Leonard called.
420
00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:39,760
And he said that you were
pining for a young lady.
421
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,560
Oh, that's preposterous.
422
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,600
I'm not pining over anyone.
423
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,700
Oh, lambchop, we can
quibble what to call it,
424
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,270
but I think we can
both agree it's creepy.
425
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,370
I do not agree.
426
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,730
Cats make wonderful companions.
427
00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:59,000
They don't argue or question
my intellectual authority,
428
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,880
and this little guy here,
429
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,140
I think you'll find
to be quite zazzy.
430
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:08,920
You should have called sooner.
431
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:12,260
Shelly! Dinner's ready!
432
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,300
SHELDON: Coming!
433
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,560
No cats!
434
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,980
Aw...
435
00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:21,520
What is she doing here?
436
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,820
I called her.
437
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:23,870
Your mother thinks
438
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,820
you might be losing
your mind over me.
439
00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:28,480
As a neurobiologist, I was curious.
440
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,160
Well, rest assured, I am in
full possession of my faculties.
441
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:35,280
(sneezes): 25 cats!
442
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:38,590
Oh, God bless you, dear.
443
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:40,960
Sheldon, sit down. Let's talk.
444
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,760
All right, but you're
not fooling me.
445
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:44,980
Whenever you say we have to talk,
446
00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,210
it means you want me to listen.
447
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,210
Then stop talking.
448
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,010
Yes, ma'am.
449
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:51,130
Now, the reason I
called Amy over was
450
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,690
to find out what type
of person she is.
451
00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:55,350
And after chatting a bit,
452
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,690
I have to say that while she is a
453
00:18:57,690 --> 00:19:01,190
perfectly unique young woman,
454
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:04,710
you two are definitely not
suited for each other.
455
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,520
That's a peculiar conclusion.
456
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,970
By any standard,
Amy is more similar to me
457
00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:11,290
than anyone I've ever met.
458
00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:14,090
Oh, I'm sorry, Shelly,
I can't see it.
459
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:16,990
Well, whether you see
it or not is irrelevant.
460
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,990
I can't see subatomic particles,
461
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,850
but nevertheless, they're there.
462
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:21,960
Excellent point.
463
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,700
A physics point.
464
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,240
Touché.
465
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,570
Well, putting aside the pig Latin,
466
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:30,410
it's a good thing that
467
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,360
you two decided to
end the relationship
468
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,810
so I didn't have to end it for you.
469
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,830
Amy, after consideration,
470
00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:41,030
I believe we may have acted rashly.
471
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:42,900
I propose we resume
our relationship
472
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:45,400
and attempt to resolve
our differences.
473
00:19:45,410 --> 00:19:47,360
I'll agree to that only
if you'll stipulate
474
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,460
that 80% of our difficulties
were caused by you.
475
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:51,240
I'll go as high as 40. Sixty-five.
476
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,780
Done.
477
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,780
You understand that moving forward,
478
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:58,270
we deal with the fact that my
mother does not approve of you?
479
00:19:58,270 --> 00:20:01,240
I do. I find being cast
480
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,920
in the role of bad
girl oddly titillating.
481
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,340
Would you like to see my cats?
482
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,460
I would. I love cats.
483
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:10,800
They're the epitome
of indifference.
484
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,620
Ah, then you may find
Zazzles a little cloying.
485
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,470
I saw what you did there.
486
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:19,560
He thinks he's such a smarty pants.
487
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,940
He's no different from any man.
488
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,310
You tell 'em not to do
something, that's all
489
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:24,280
they want to do.
490
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,780
If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy
491
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,760
not to clear out the
wood chipper by hand,
492
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,310
we'd still be calling him Edward.
493
00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:32,100
Now, don't you move.
494
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,700
I'll bring over all the food.
495
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,800
No, no, no, I can do it.
496
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,810
Well, isn't that sweet?
497
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:48,570
Thank you, Amy.
498
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:50,070
Here's your cat.
499
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,870
And here's your $20.
500
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:55,490
AMY: Next!
501
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,450
Thank you, Amy.
502
00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:58,630
Here's your cat.
503
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,470
And here's your $20.
504
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:04,360
AMY: Next!
505
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,360
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
506
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,360
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --