1
00:00:03,710 --> 00:00:07,020
Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.
2
00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:08,550
Buona sera.
3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,440
It means good evening
in Italian.
4
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,110
May I say, having to explain
that to you calls into question
5
00:00:14,190 --> 00:00:17,320
the authenticity
of your ristorante?
6
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:19,610
Okay, I'm out of here.
7
00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,260
Un momento.
8
00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:22,730
Oh, for heaven's sake.
9
00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,770
Now you're being
deliberately stupid.
10
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:27,200
Where are you going?
11
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,700
I'm having dinner
with Priya at Raj's.
12
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:30,710
I think Howard's going to be
there. You want to join us?
13
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:32,240
But tonight's Thursday.
14
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,040
On Thursdays, everybody
comes over here
15
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,480
and has pizza.
16
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,950
Or a reasonable facsimile
17
00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:39,150
prepared by someone claiming
to be Luigi,
18
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,880
but who sounds suspiciously
like Jackie Chan.
19
00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:45,090
Can't we make a one-time
exception for tonight?
20
00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:46,490
We could.
21
00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:48,810
We could also
stop using the letter "M,"
22
00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:52,860
but I think that idea is
isguided and oronic.
23
00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,460
Just come with me to Raj's.
24
00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:56,850
Well, I don't want
to go to a party.
25
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:58,900
It's not a party.
It's the same group of people
26
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,520
who hang out here
hanging out over there.
27
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,110
I'm sorry, but five people
eating and chatting is a party.
28
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,840
How come it's not a party
when we do it here?
29
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,540
Because we don't
throw parties.
30
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:10,550
I don't know
what to tell you, Sheldon.
31
00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:12,360
I'm going to see Priya.
Everyone's over there.
32
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:13,480
You coming or not?
33
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,670
Well, no, sir,
and do you know why?
34
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,690
In a word: tradition.
35
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:21,390
Every Thursday night
for the last eight years,
36
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:24,040
you and I and our friends
have gathered here
37
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:28,030
in this very spot to break bread
covered with cheese and sauce,
38
00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:30,170
discuss the issues
of the day,
39
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:32,430
and yes, share a laugh or two.
40
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:36,340
But I guess our rich heritage
means nothing to you.
41
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:37,540
I guess you're right.
42
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:38,840
- See you later.
- Wait!
43
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,640
Leonard! Wait!
44
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,540
What am I going
to do for dinner?
45
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,650
Come with me to Raj's
and eat there.
46
00:01:44,650 --> 00:01:45,950
I can't do that.
47
00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:49,150
What if he serves haggis
and blood pudding?
48
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:52,990
I really doubt
that's what he'll serve.
49
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,560
But what if he does?
50
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,860
I'll be obliged to dine
51
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:58,360
on liver and lungs stuffed
in a sheep's stomach.
52
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,130
And frankly, blood pudding is
essentially the same thing.
53
00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:03,330
I don't know why
he's serving both.
54
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,670
What do you want to do?
55
00:02:04,670 --> 00:02:07,270
You want to come with me, or
do you want to sit here alone?
56
00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:09,200
No, I'll go
to your haggis party.
57
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:10,920
But I'm telling you.
58
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:15,310
This is adness. This is utter
and complete adness.
59
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:18,930
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
60
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,270
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
61
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:23,900
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
62
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:26,440
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
63
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,120
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
64
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:31,760
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,700
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
66
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:34,680
♪ Bang! ♪
67
00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:37,690
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x17 ♪
The Toast Derivation
Original Air Date on February 24, 2011
68
00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:40,010
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
69
00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:42,870
- Oh, dear!
- What?
70
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,260
Raj's television.
71
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,630
I just realized
72
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:48,230
we're about to spend an evening
watching a plasma screen
73
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:51,470
with a cluster of dead pixels
in the upper left-hand corner.
74
00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:53,020
So don't watch TV.
75
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,270
Read a book.
76
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:55,910
And be a social pariah?
77
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,840
Oh, you know
that's not my style.
78
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,310
Ugh!
79
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:05,750
The audible sigh is a show
of exasperation, right?
80
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:06,950
Right.
81
00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:09,820
Is it about me
or the dead pixels?
82
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,660
Hey, you're
just in time.
83
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,960
We made Tex-Mex.
84
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,160
Oh, sounds great.
85
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,160
Oh, Indians
making Tex-Mex.
86
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,530
Might as well have had
the Chinese pizza.
87
00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:22,370
Hey, you.
88
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,600
Hi.
89
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,040
That's got to be fun
for you, huh?
90
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,840
Watching Hofstadter
suck the saliva
91
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,310
out of your sister's mouth?
92
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,010
Excuse me. Before this evening
goes any further,
93
00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:39,180
we need to decide
where everyone is going to sit.
94
00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:41,220
There is no assigned seats,
Sheldon.
95
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,050
Just sit anywhere.
Make yourself comfortable.
96
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,490
Oh, what fun.
97
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,520
We're like hippies at a love-in.
98
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:49,830
Just sit here.
99
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,400
Right on, man. Right on.
100
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,900
Oh, look.
101
00:03:55,900 --> 00:04:00,640
it's Harry Potter and 98%
of The Sorcerer's Stone.
102
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,840
Okay, we've
got fajitas
103
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,430
with all the fixins,
so you make your own.
104
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,680
Wonderful.
105
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,480
Dinner, some
assembly required.
106
00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,100
Do you want a margarita,
Sheldon?
107
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,180
A margarita?!
108
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:16,820
Where are we?!
What is happening?!
109
00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:20,520
Oh. Hey, Sheldon.
110
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,560
What can I get you?
111
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,790
Water. Neat.
112
00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:25,980
With a little umbrella.
113
00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:27,760
Where are all your friends?
114
00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:31,150
Sadly, Penny, this evening,
I am the Dark Knight,
115
00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:33,320
roaming these
mean streets alone.
116
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,640
A windbreaker for my cape,
117
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,710
and a stern expression
for my cowl.
118
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:42,750
Okay.
119
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,150
Excuse me?
120
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,820
Isn't this the point
where the world-weary barkeep
121
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,920
absentmindedly
wipes down the bar
122
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,660
and coaxes the woes
out of the troubled patron?
123
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:56,340
Well, I was getting your
stupid umbrella, but all right.
124
00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:59,200
(clears throat)
125
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,460
What's troubling you, buddy?
126
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,740
I don't think your heart's
in it, but since you asked...
127
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:10,040
Apparently, because
Leonard is dating Raj's sister,
128
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,360
we're all forced
to hang out at his apartment.
129
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,950
Oh, the horror.
130
00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:16,200
Indeed.
131
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,550
Yeah, at one point,
Raj put on reggae music,
132
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:20,580
and his sister
took off her shoes.
133
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,220
It was like the last days
of Caligula.
134
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,760
(cell phone chiming)
135
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,960
Oh, I have to get this.
136
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,760
Umbrella?
137
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,300
Ugh!
138
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,170
Wonder
what she's exasperated about.
139
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,500
Hello?
140
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,440
Sheldon, are you all right?
141
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,110
When last we spoke,
you were going to
142
00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:44,640
take a taxi home from Raj's,
but according to Facebook,
143
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,580
you just checked in
at the Cheesecake Factory.
144
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,210
Yes, I was in a taxi,
145
00:05:48,210 --> 00:05:50,350
but the driver
didn't look at all
146
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,950
like the photograph
on his license,
147
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,580
so I leapt out and ran for it.
148
00:05:54,590 --> 00:05:55,990
Wise.
149
00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,870
There you go.
150
00:05:57,870 --> 00:06:00,290
Just like recovering alcoholics
drink in the Caribbean.
151
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:02,210
AMY:
Hi, bestie.
152
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,790
Oh. Hi, Amy.
153
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:05,100
How you been?
154
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,700
Fine.
155
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,570
From this angle,
I can see up your nose.
156
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,270
Yeah, it's a great time
to be alive, isn't it?
157
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:13,970
Don't worry.
My problems can wait
158
00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,440
while you two hens
finish your clucking.
159
00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:19,140
Look, Sheldon, Leonard
is dating Priya.
160
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,680
She is staying with Raj.
161
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,550
That means you're all probably
gonna be hanging out there more.
162
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,550
Penny, I'm sorry
you got dragged into this.
163
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:27,750
I know you're devastated
164
00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:30,090
that your ex-boyfriend
has found an exciting new lover
165
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,190
with flawless,
caramel-colored skin.
166
00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:35,430
Okay, I'm not upset
about Leonard and Priya.
167
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:38,160
Your flaring nostrils
indicate otherwise.
168
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,900
Cluck-cluck-cluck.
169
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:43,570
Sheldon, look at me.
170
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,900
I think it's time
171
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,100
to face the fact
172
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,410
that Leonard is the nucleus
of your social group.
173
00:06:48,410 --> 00:06:49,910
Where he goes, the group goes.
174
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,440
Leonard the nucleus?
175
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,240
That makes no sense.
176
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,580
I'm the whimsical elf
177
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,750
that everyone looks to
for a good time.
178
00:06:58,420 --> 00:06:59,820
I'm not saying
that you're not fun.
179
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,820
You're the most fun person
I know.
180
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:06,720
A lot of people think
I'm fun to be around.
181
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,660
Don't be needy, bestie.
182
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:11,330
That's probably part
of what chased Leonard away.
183
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,860
What I am saying, Sheldon,
184
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,530
is that your group
is Leonard-centric.
185
00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:19,140
If it were a town,
it would be Leonardville.
186
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:22,070
If it were an Islamic nation,
Leonardstan.
187
00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:24,470
If it were the birthplace
of motion pictures,
188
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,680
we'd all be singing
"Hooray for Leonardwood."
189
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,310
Ooh, I got one.
190
00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:29,850
If you guys were a band,
191
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,520
you'd be called Leonard
and the Leonards.
192
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,250
So needy.
193
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,710
What you doing?
194
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,510
I'm setting out snacks.
195
00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:45,960
You do realize everyone's eating
at Raj's again tonight.
196
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,700
I didn't say the snacks were
for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie?
197
00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:56,340
You're having people over?
198
00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,680
Yes. Must be killing you
wondering who.
199
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,140
Fine, I'll tell you.
200
00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:02,910
Stuart from the
comic bookstore,
201
00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:04,410
Barry Kripke from
the university,
202
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:06,620
Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack
203
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,750
and TV's LeVar Burton.
204
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,920
Really?
205
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,690
LeVar Burton's coming here?
206
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:16,230
Possibly. I Tweeted him.
207
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,160
Okay, well, tell him
I loved him on Star Trek.
208
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,600
Please, Leonard, stop trying
to horn in on my new friends.
209
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,140
Of course. Good night.
210
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:28,560
Leonard.
Yeah?
211
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,040
We had a good run, you and I.
212
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,680
Okay.
213
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,550
But change is a part of life.
214
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,450
It certainly is.
215
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,420
Okay.
216
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:45,120
I have guests coming.
217
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,490
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to ask you to leave now.
218
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,330
I am leaving.
219
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,830
Don't make this harder
than it is, Leonard.
220
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,700
Good-bye, Sheldon.
221
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,500
And good-bye to you, sir.
222
00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,310
He'll be back.
223
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:06,890
LEONARD:
Of course I'll be back.
224
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,080
I live here!
225
00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:25,390
Well, it would appear
226
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,690
LeVar Burton
won't be joining us.
227
00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:29,960
Let's get started.
228
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,330
I thought we'd begin
by going around the room,
229
00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,600
introducing ourselves
230
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,030
and saying a little bit
about why we're here.
231
00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:37,730
Okay. (clears throat)
I'm Sheldon.
232
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:38,970
Uh, for regular readers
233
00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:41,470
of The New England Journal
of High Energy Physics,
234
00:09:41,470 --> 00:09:42,940
I need no introduction.
235
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:44,340
If you're not familiar
236
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,620
with that publication,
237
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:48,280
there's a free copy
in your goody bag.
238
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,160
Stuart?
239
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,280
Um... (clears throat) Hi.
240
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,550
I'm Stuart.
241
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,350
I run a comic bookstore,
242
00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:02,320
which for financial reasons,
I'm currently living in.
243
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,090
And I guess
244
00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:07,560
what I'm hoping for most out
of tonight is a hot shower.
245
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,430
It's very
nice, Stuart.
246
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,180
Zack?
247
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,300
I'm Zack, and I'm, uh...
248
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,600
Uh...
249
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,910
Could you come back to me?
250
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,530
Of course.
251
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:23,510
Barry?
252
00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:24,680
I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here
253
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,250
because you told me
there was going to be a whaffle.
254
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:30,890
When is the whaffle?
255
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:32,350
Patience, patience, Barry.
256
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:33,540
The whaffle... (clears throat)
257
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,790
The raffle is the grand finale
258
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,500
to an evening-long festival
of fun and folly.
259
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,600
- One more question...
- Yes, you must be present to win.
260
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,200
(grunts)
261
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,430
Okay, I'm ready.
262
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,300
I'm Zach, and I'm, uh...
263
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,770
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?
264
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,140
Oh, hey.
265
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:58,780
Hi.
Yo, P-dog.
266
00:10:58,780 --> 00:10:59,900
What's up?
267
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,180
We're here to kidnap you
268
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:02,750
for a girls' night out.
269
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:06,400
Parenthetical: the term "kidnap"
is being used playfully.
270
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,620
I kind of figured that.
271
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:11,360
Good. Now put this pillowcase
over your head.
272
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,460
No.
273
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:15,300
She used to be much more fun,
274
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,400
until Leonard punched her
in the heart.
275
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,240
We just thought you
might want to go out
276
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,370
and have a good time,
maybe go dancing.
277
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,910
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm
not really in the mood.
278
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,980
You do understand
that it will distract you
279
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,780
from obsessing
over the rich variety
280
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,180
of sweet loving
that your ex-boyfriend
281
00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:34,250
is currently receiving
from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
282
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,720
Okay, look,
283
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,190
if I agree to go out
with you guys,
284
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,890
will you promise
to stop pestering me
285
00:11:39,890 --> 00:11:40,920
about Leonard and Priya?
286
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,620
Yes.
Sure.
287
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,230
All right. I'll go change.
Come on in.
288
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:46,780
If you'd have let me
bring the chloroform,
289
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,400
we wouldn't have had to put up
with all this jibber-jabber.
290
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,500
Anyway, after we
get done snowboarding,
291
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,620
I go back to the lodge
and get in the Jacuzzi.
292
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:59,740
There's no one around, so
naturally, I'm free-balling it.
293
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:01,740
Next thing I know,
294
00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:03,740
this beautiful chick shows up,
295
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,010
drunk out of her skull,
wants to get in with me.
296
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:07,220
Question.
297
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,590
Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
298
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:13,790
Really? That's
your question?
299
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:14,760
What's the difference?
300
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,030
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand.
301
00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:18,890
"Hot tub" is the generic term.
302
00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:20,090
I.E., all Jacuzzis
303
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,200
are hot tubs,
304
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,700
but not all
hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
305
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:26,630
Is that like
all thumbs are fingers,
306
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,740
but not all fingers are thumbs?
307
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:31,710
Surprisingly, yes.
308
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:34,040
Nice.
309
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,050
Now, what exactly are toes?
310
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,120
Can you please get back
to the drunk girl?
311
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,720
I'd like something to think
about in the shower.
312
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,950
Oh, yeah.
313
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:47,220
Right. Anyway, she takes off
all of her clothes,
314
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,620
climbs into the hot tub,
and the first thing I notice...
315
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:51,960
The water level rose.
316
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:54,530
No.
317
00:12:54,530 --> 00:12:55,680
Of course it did.
318
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:56,930
It's said that Archimedes,
319
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:58,320
the ancient Greek mathematician,
320
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,470
discovered the principle
of displacement
321
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,340
while taking a bath.
322
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,410
Terrific.
Go ahead, Zack.
323
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:06,980
Naked drunk girl,
free-balling, continue.
324
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,280
Forgive me,
but I think you'll find
325
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,810
my story is
more interesting.
326
00:13:10,810 --> 00:13:13,380
Does yours
have wet breasts in it?
327
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,180
Better.
328
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,820
It has a gold crown.
329
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:18,050
You see, the king
330
00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:19,820
wondered how much gold was in it
331
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,290
and charged Archimedes with
coming up with the solution.
332
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,490
Because the crown was
irregularly shaped,
333
00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:25,710
there was no way
to mathematically
334
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:26,760
determine its volume.
335
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,880
But, while bathing,
Archimedes realized
336
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,250
he could immerse the crown
337
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:34,970
and measure the amount
the water rose.
338
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:40,010
So, long story short,
I nailed her.
339
00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:47,180
When he finished,
he shouted "Eureka!"
340
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:49,180
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!"
341
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:53,390
Don't know why.
Just do.
342
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,710
All right, that concludes
343
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,030
the "getting to know you"
portion of the evening.
344
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:01,910
Who's ready to play some
vintage video games?
345
00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:03,700
And tonight's selections include
346
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:07,220
ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue
in Gargamel's Castle,"
347
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,390
Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch,"
348
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,210
and for you
text adventure aficionados,
349
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,610
"Zork."
350
00:14:14,610 --> 00:14:18,510
(in high voice):
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.
351
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:23,430
That all sucks
the big hairy meatball.
352
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,490
How about I go get
353
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,150
the karaoke machine
out of my car,
354
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,990
get plastered and blow
the roof off this place?
355
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,330
Great, I'll make a beer run.
356
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,960
And I'll take a shower.
357
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,230
We'll meet back here in 15.
358
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,900
Check.
359
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,770
(door closes)
360
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,370
I'm unhappy.
361
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:44,170
This is delicious.
362
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,420
Where'd you learn
to make chili?
363
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,610
When I was at
university in England,
364
00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:49,110
my flatmate was
from Texas.
365
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:52,750
I hope she wasn't anything
like my flatmate from Texas.
366
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,250
Sheldon is a bit
quirky, isn't he?
367
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,320
Oh, please.
That crazy bastard's looking
368
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,460
at quirky
in the rearview mirror.
369
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,630
Did you know that,
per our roommate agreement,
370
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:07,200
I have to wash my feet
before I get in the shower?
371
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,230
And not in the sink.
372
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,730
We each have special buckets.
373
00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:12,770
Raj, did you ever
tell your sister
374
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:15,040
about the time Sheldon
got punched by Bill Gates?
375
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,210
- Oh, God, you're kidding.
- Nope.
376
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,940
Gates gave a speech
at the university.
377
00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:20,580
Sheldon went up to him
afterwards and said,
378
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,280
"Maybe if you weren't
so distracted
379
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,750
by sick children in Africa,
380
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:26,680
you could have put a little more
thought into Windows Vista."
381
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,320
(all laughing)
382
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,450
Bam. Right in the nose.
383
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:34,890
Made me proud to own a PC.
384
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:36,960
I'd like to propose a toast
385
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,560
to a rare and wonderful
Sheldon-free evening.
386
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:43,000
Hear, hear.
Cheers.
387
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,830
You realize that's the first
time we've ever done that
388
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:46,650
without having
to listen to Sheldon tell us
389
00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:48,440
why it's called a toast?
390
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,640
Why is it
called a toast?
391
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,910
Oh, the ancient Romans
392
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:54,010
put spiced toast
in their punch bowls.
393
00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:59,150
Sheldon tells it better.
394
00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:00,880
He kind of does.
395
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,120
Yeah.
396
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:06,790
Aw, hell, I miss him.
397
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,690
So, where do you guys
want to go dancing?
398
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,460
We were hoping
you'd know a place.
399
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,830
Yes, perhaps somewhere
packed tightly
400
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:17,130
with young, beautiful bodies
401
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:18,800
sweating and writhing
against each other
402
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,400
in a glorious orgy
of the flesh.
403
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:23,470
Oh, yeah, I know that place.
404
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,410
What do you think?
405
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:28,040
That should display enough
of your bosom
406
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,110
to attract a new mate,
or a hungry infant.
407
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:34,380
Okay, let's go
through this one more time.
408
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,120
Just because
Leonard has a new girlfriend
409
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,670
does not mean I need to go out
and hook up with some guy.
410
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,350
But you could
if you wanted to, right?
411
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,990
Well, yeah, I guess.
412
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:44,060
Pick out the hottest guy
in the room,
413
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,490
take him home,
do unspeakable things to him,
414
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,630
then kick him to the curb
with a smile on his face
415
00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:51,330
and teeth marks on his heinie?
416
00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:54,190
More or less.
417
00:16:54,190 --> 00:16:57,340
What's that like?
418
00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:58,940
I don't know.
419
00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:00,310
It's fun while
you're doing it.
420
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,480
And then after,
it's mostly embarrassment,
421
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,880
self-loathing
and regret.
422
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:09,250
I would take that deal
all day long.
423
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:11,690
Yeah, well, it's not
gonna happen tonight.
424
00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:13,120
You know, for the
first time in my life,
425
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,960
I am not
in a relationship,
426
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,390
and I'm totally
okay with it.
427
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:18,830
You know, if being on
your own is new to you,
428
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,430
I'd be happy to share some
tension-relieving techniques
429
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:25,300
for ladies I've perfected
over the years.
430
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:28,240
For example, do you have
an electric toothbrush?
431
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,210
PENNY:
Um, no.
432
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:33,840
You should get one.
433
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,880
What's that?
434
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,380
It appears
to be something preserved
435
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,430
between two pieces of acrylic.
436
00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:42,420
Oh, it's a snowflake
from the North Pole.
437
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:43,920
Leonard gave it
to me last year.
438
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,590
Oh, God, that is so romantic.
439
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:48,690
Yeah, it was.
440
00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:51,090
Leonard's really one of a kind.
441
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:53,030
Saying that
while holding a snowflake
442
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,100
is a bit heavy-handed,
don't you think?
443
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,450
Let me see that.
444
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,450
Oh, screw it.
445
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,970
I can deal with
a little self-loathing.
446
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:05,410
Let's go find me
a heinie to bite.
447
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,040
Outstanding.
448
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,380
And if we fail,
we can always stop at CVS
449
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,510
and pick you out
a nice toothbrush.
450
00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:15,830
I call mine "Gerard."
451
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:20,920
That's kind of creepy.
452
00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:25,590
♪ Don't go breaking
my heart ♪
453
00:18:25,590 --> 00:18:27,460
♪ I couldn't
if I tried ♪
454
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:32,650
♪ Oh, honey,
if I get restless ♪
455
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:35,600
♪ Baby, you're
not that kind ♪
456
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:41,110
♪ Don't go
breaking my heart ♪
457
00:18:41,110 --> 00:18:43,980
Anybody do "Walking
on Sunshine" yet?
458
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,320
No.
459
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,020
Dibs.
460
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,220
I'm sorry, Sheldon
bought a loom
461
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,420
and learned
how to weave?
462
00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:57,860
He actually
got pretty good.
463
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:00,360
He made us
all matching serapes.
464
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,500
I still wear mine
when there's a nip in the air.
465
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,530
Now, was this before
466
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,640
or after he adopted
the 25 cats?
467
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,540
Long before the cats.
468
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:11,040
I think it was
around the time he tried
469
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,180
to declare our apartment
a sovereign nation.
470
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:16,540
I still have some
of the currency.
471
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:17,710
(knocking at door)
472
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,280
SHELDON:
All my friends.
473
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:24,090
All my friends.
474
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,690
I think it's like Beetlejuice.
475
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,320
We said his name too many times.
476
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,490
Come on in.
Thank you.
477
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,900
Hey. I thought you were
with your new buddies.
478
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,300
I had to leave.
479
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,600
They were having fun wrong.
480
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,040
Come here, Sheldon.
Sit here with me.
481
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,220
Thank you.
482
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:46,310
Would you like some
homemade chili?
483
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,180
Are there beans in it?
484
00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:50,210
Yes.
485
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,380
Then it's not chili.
486
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,080
Real chili has no beans in it,
487
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,950
but you're
from a foreign land,
488
00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:57,690
so your ignorance
is forgiven.
489
00:19:57,690 --> 00:20:00,720
Sheldon, do you want some
or not?
490
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,270
Yes, please.
491
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,190
Your girlfriend's a
little short-tempered.
492
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,660
I'd like
to propose a toast
493
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:12,030
to friends,
no matter how quirky.
494
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:14,570
ALL:
Cheers.
495
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:18,540
Priya, do you know
why this is called a toast?
496
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:20,210
Actually, I do.
497
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:22,380
I believe the Romans
used to put spiced toast
498
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,410
in their punch bowls.
499
00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:27,720
She's also a bit
of a know-it-all.
500
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:31,850
Mmm. This is good.
501
00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,720
Whatever it is.
502
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,450
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
503
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,160
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
504
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,390
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
505
00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:48,760
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
506
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,930
Hello? I...
507
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,500
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
508
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,830
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
509
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:56,130
Oh, I don't think so.
510
00:20:58,010 --> 00:21:00,010
I am so done with Twitter.
511
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:04,490
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
512
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:07,490
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --