1
00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:07,080
Hey, do me a favor
and take table seven.
2
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,370
You mean the one
with my 118-pound
3
00:00:09,370 --> 00:00:10,970
rock-hard stud of a fiancé
4
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:14,290
who's prone to canker
sores and pinkeye?
5
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:17,190
Nah, I prefer to look at it as
the one with my ex-boyfriend
6
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,870
and his gorgeous, successful
and sophisticated girlfriend,
7
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,840
who makes me feel like
a toothless Okie.
8
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,490
Do you want me to spill
hot soup on her?
9
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,600
Oh, please-- you're not
that kind of person.
10
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,740
I know.
11
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,980
But if she orders
something low-fat
12
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:35,850
I'll totally give her
the full-fat version.
13
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:39,190
Uh, that's my water.
14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,300
What?
15
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:41,570
My water.
You're drinking it.
16
00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:44,080
D-Dear Lord!
17
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,110
Have you been drinking it?
18
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,890
Yes. It's my water.
19
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,390
Well, that's it then.
20
00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:52,230
I'm dead.
21
00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:53,970
Here we go...
22
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,680
I'm sorry, do I really need
to connect the dots for you?
23
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,310
The backwash into this glass
24
00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:00,890
is every pathogen that calls
your mouth home, sweet home.
25
00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:04,360
Not to mention the visitors who
arrive on the dancing tongue
26
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,270
of your subtropical girlfriend.
27
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,010
Hey! That's my sister
28
00:01:09,010 --> 00:01:10,580
and my country
you're talking about.
29
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:12,280
Leonard may have
defiled one,
30
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,560
but I won't have you
talking smack about the other.
31
00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:17,300
You guys ready to order?
32
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,540
Yes, I'd like a seven-day
course of penicillin,
33
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:23,980
some, uh, syrup of ipecac--
to induce vomiting-- and a mint.
34
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:26,050
I don't understand.
35
00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:27,520
He drank from
Leonard's glass.
36
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,930
"He drank from
Leonard's glass"--
37
00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:31,360
the words they'll be
carving into my tombstone.
38
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:34,440
That's actually my napkin.
39
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,440
Oh, this is a nightmare!
40
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,310
Where are you going?
To the bar,
41
00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:40,720
to sterilize my mouth
with alcohol.
42
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,360
Gang way! Dead man walking!
43
00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:47,700
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
44
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:51,040
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
45
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,680
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
46
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,250
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
47
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,880
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
48
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,550
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
49
00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:02,560
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
50
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,620
♪ Bang! ♪
51
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,140
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x23 ♪
The Engagement Reaction
Original Air Date on May 12, 2011
52
00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:09,670
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
53
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,400
All right. Here you go.
54
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,900
Two lemonades,
55
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,700
one iced tea
56
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,070
and a root beer for Priya.
57
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:21,210
- Is it diet?
- That's what you ordered.
58
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:24,040
Thank you.
59
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,110
Hey, have you and Howard
60
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,510
started planning
your wedding yet?
61
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:28,780
Yeah. We're thinking
of having it on a cliff
62
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:30,180
overlooking the ocean.
63
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,750
Nothing soothes
those pre-wedding jitters
64
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:36,080
like the thought
of falling and drowning.
65
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,590
What did your mother say
66
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:38,990
when you told her you were
getting married?
67
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:40,360
He hasn't told her yet.
68
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,660
He's waiting for
the right time.
69
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:45,430
I was thinking of weaving
it into her eulogy.
70
00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:48,430
Howard, you've got
to tell your mother.
71
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,630
Hey, have you told your parents
you're dating
72
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:51,630
this short glass
of skim milk here?
73
00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:55,630
Uh... that's different.
74
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,670
First of all,
we're not engaged;
75
00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,440
and second,
Indian parents
76
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,200
are very protective
of their children.
77
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,240
Right, right,
whereas Jewish mothers
78
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,800
take a casual, la-di-da
approach to their sons.
79
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:12,480
I gargled with tequila and may
have swallowed a teeny bit.
80
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,640
- You all right?
- Fine.
81
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:15,150
Thank you for asking.
82
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:17,180
I love you so much.
83
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:22,280
Fire demon.
84
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,920
Ooh, fire demon.
85
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,750
Sheldon's turning up the heat...
86
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:30,850
Troll master.
87
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,290
Check it! Howard pulls one out
88
00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:34,690
from under the bridge. Nice!
89
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,600
Water nymph.
90
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,000
Oh, yeah, she's got puddles
91
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000
in all the right places.
92
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,000
Could you please
play the game
93
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,530
without commenting
on every card?
94
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:46,770
Sorry.
95
00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:49,100
Walking tree.
96
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,370
Last one.
97
00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:57,110
I'm taking a stroll
and I'm sporting wood.
98
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:04,720
Okay, the Eagle has landed.
99
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,180
What's going on?
100
00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:07,380
Bernadette
and my mother are having
101
00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:09,590
a get-to-know-you lunch
at the Old Town Deli.
102
00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:10,920
Oh, that sounds lovely.
103
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:11,960
Hope so.
104
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,290
Of course, if history
is any indication,
105
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:14,290
my mother will swallow her whole
106
00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:17,290
and spit out her bones
like an owl.
107
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,260
Have you met
Bernadette's parents?
108
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,300
You mean Adolf and Eva?
109
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,970
Not yet.
110
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:27,900
One goose step at a time.
111
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,900
Sheldon,
that's my water.
112
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,270
Oh, dear Lord!
113
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:36,640
That's not your water.
114
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,480
I know.
115
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,080
Where's the mouthwash?!
116
00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:46,420
"Where" indeed.
117
00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:51,690
Ma, I'm home!
118
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:53,090
Where are you?
119
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:56,530
I'm in the toilet!
120
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,630
So, how'd it go?!
121
00:04:58,630 --> 00:04:59,960
Too soon to say!
122
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,330
I'm not done yet!
123
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,930
No, I mean lunch, today,
with Bernadette!
124
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,800
Oh!
125
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,240
I had a pastrami
sandwich.
126
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,440
She had eggplant lasagna.
127
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,910
Like that's what a person
orders in a Jewish deli.
128
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,480
Besides food, did you get along?
Did you talk?
129
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,110
Oh, sure! Did you know
she's going to school
130
00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:26,580
to become a
microbiologist?!
131
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,980
No, she never mentioned it.
132
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:35,220
I bet she did and
you didn't listen!
133
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:38,490
Yeah, that's probably it.
So, what do you think?
134
00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:40,760
Do you like her?
She's great, huh?
135
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,160
She's a lovely girl!
136
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,870
Cute as a button!
137
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:48,170
That's good to hear,
'cause I've got some news.
138
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,740
I hope it's
good news,
139
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,040
because I've got nothing but
disappointment in here!
140
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:04,410
Bernadette and I
are getting married.
141
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:11,720
Ma?
142
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,450
You too busy bearing down?
143
00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:18,590
Ma?
144
00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:22,490
Oh, my God, Ma? Ma? Ma?
145
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,560
Stand back,
I'm gonna break the door down!
146
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,740
Son of a bitch!
Ma, help!
147
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,280
Hey.
148
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,610
Hello.
149
00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:41,880
Haven't
seen you in a while.
150
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,210
How's it going?
151
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:46,680
Oh, other than waiting out
the exponential growth period
152
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,550
of the virulent organisms
153
00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:50,220
trooping through
my microvilli
154
00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:54,490
into my circulatory system--
hunky-dory.
155
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:01,030
Did I say something
amusing?
156
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:04,730
I don't know, maybe,
I have no idea what you said.
157
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:08,160
So your mirth is merely
a discharge of nervous energy
158
00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:10,600
with no semantic content at all?
159
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,600
My mirth. Classic.
160
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,140
Is there a station
coming up
161
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:19,610
where I can board your
giggling train of thought?
162
00:07:19,610 --> 00:07:21,780
It's not a big deal, Sheldon.
163
00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:23,540
It's just,
ever since Leonard's been
164
00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:26,010
dating Raj's sister,
I've had to keep my distance.
165
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,920
I don't get to hear
all your jibber-jabber.
166
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,280
Jibber-jabber?!
167
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,920
I don't jibber-jabber.
168
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,890
What are you doing
at work these days?
169
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:37,090
Oh, I'm working on
time-dependent backgrounds
170
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,490
in string theory,
171
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,020
specifically quantum
field theory
172
00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:42,330
in "d-dimensional"
de Sitter space.
173
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,660
Okay, come on, even you have
to admit that's jibber-jabber.
174
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,100
Interesting, do you know
175
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,270
where the phrase
"jibber-jabber" comes from?
176
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:54,740
Oh, my God,
you're about to jibber-jabber
177
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,710
about jibber-jabber.
178
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:02,010
Howard and his mother
are at the hospital.
179
00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:03,810
- Come on, we gotta go.
- Oh, my God! What happened?
180
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,010
I don't know, I just got a text.
Come on, hurry.
181
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,850
Okay.
182
00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:11,720
Sheldon, let's go!
183
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,790
To a hospital?!
184
00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:15,320
Full of sick people?!
185
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,600
Oh, I don't think so.
186
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,600
Okay, well, your friend and his
mother are there, we're going.
187
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,430
I can't.
188
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:25,770
Oh, don't tell me you're
afraid of germs.
189
00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:29,070
Not all germs.
190
00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:31,470
Just the ones that will kill me.
191
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:34,080
It's the same way I'm not
afraid of all steak knives--
192
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,980
just the ones that might be
plunged in my thorax.
193
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,610
Fine, I'll tell Howard
you didn't come
194
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,650
because you're more concerned
195
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,020
about your own well-being
than his.
196
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,850
I would think
he would know that.
197
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,320
Okay, you know what?
You are unbelievable.
198
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,990
You buy all these
superhero T-shirts,
199
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,330
but when it's time for you
200
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,790
to step up
and do the right thing,
201
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:54,700
you just hide
in the laundry room.
202
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:57,530
Fine, I'll go.
203
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:01,800
Just for the record,
my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.
204
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,070
She went in to
visit my Uncle Roger,
205
00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:06,570
caught something and bit
the dust a week later.
206
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,880
The two of them
now share a coffee can
207
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,380
on my mother's mantel.
208
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,880
So I knocked down
the bathroom door,
209
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,370
picked up my poor
unconscious mother,
210
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:20,510
carried her to the car,
211
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:23,510
and drove like a madman
to the emergency room.
212
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:25,110
You're a real
hero, Howard.
213
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,380
No, I did what
any son would do.
214
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:31,020
Hang on a second--
you picked up your mother?
215
00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:35,790
Her own legs
are barely able to do that.
216
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,020
I was filled
with adrenaline.
217
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,790
It happens to be how women
lift cars off babies.
218
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,730
Yeah, I'm saying,
it'd be easier to lift a car.
219
00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:48,930
What can I tell you?
After I found the courage
220
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:51,670
to put her pants back on,
I was unstoppable.
221
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,640
So, how is she?
222
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,600
They're running tests--
I don't know.
223
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,310
It may have been a heart attack
or heart-attack-like event.
224
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,370
What's the difference?
225
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,110
A heart-attack-like event
226
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:06,040
is an event
that's like a heart attack.
227
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:09,050
Thanks for clearing that up.
228
00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,920
Regardless, coronary problems
are eminently treatable.
229
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,190
What's more likely going
to kill Howard's mother
230
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,450
are the
antibiotic-resistant
231
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,450
super-bugs festering
in every nook and cranny
232
00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:18,990
of this hospital.
233
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,660
Okay, you're not helping.
234
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:24,160
Disagree.
235
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,530
Go sit over there.
236
00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:29,730
I'll sit over there--
it looks cleaner.
237
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,340
Is there a history of
heart disease in your family?
238
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:39,440
My family is the history
of heart disease.
239
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,730
There's a cave painting
in France
240
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,940
of one of my ancestors
doing this:
241
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,910
So it's probably genetic.
242
00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:50,580
Well, maybe.
243
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:53,610
Mom also had just gotten some
news that might have upset her.
244
00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:54,980
What?
245
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,410
It's not important.
246
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,350
Come on, Howard,
I'm going to be your wife.
247
00:10:58,350 --> 00:11:00,080
You can share
anything with me.
248
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,120
You'd think that.
But no.
249
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:09,290
You told her we were
going to get married
250
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:10,890
and she had
a heart attack?
251
00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:14,600
You can't take
that personally.
252
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,560
How else is she supposed
to take it?
253
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,800
What you've got to
254
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,430
keep in mind is that
ever since my dad left,
255
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,240
I've been the whole world
to my mother.
256
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,440
I mean, she'd be
threatened by any woman
257
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,370
who can give me
what she can't.
258
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:32,210
You mean sexual
intercourse?
259
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:39,070
Well, when you say it like
that you make it sound creepy.
260
00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:40,270
What happened?
261
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:41,510
Howard's mother had
a heart attack
262
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,130
because I have
sex with him
263
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,860
and she can't.
264
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,380
Bernie, wait!
265
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:55,990
I'll give you $1,000
if you'll drive me home.
266
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,290
Nice of you to
come for Howard.
267
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:02,160
Well, he's my friend.
It's what you do.
268
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,530
I'm sorry, did
I miss something?
269
00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:08,460
It's just so weird.
270
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,430
Howard Wolowitz
is my friend.
271
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:13,030
You know, once he tried to
stick his tongue down my throat
272
00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:14,330
and I broke his nose.
273
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,900
That's a little easier
to believe
274
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,070
than he's your friend.
275
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,070
Yeah, tell me about it.
276
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:23,110
You know, my brother had a group
of friends like this in India.
277
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,570
They dressed up in leotards and
goggles and called themselves
278
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:27,510
the New Delhi
Power Rangers.
279
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,610
You mean when
he was little.
280
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:33,380
Not as little as
you'd want him to be.
281
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,280
You know,
this stuff is horrible.
282
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,180
You want to see if we
can find the cafeteria
283
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:40,590
and get real coffee?
Sure.
284
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,020
We're going to the cafeteria
to get some coffee.
285
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,220
You want anything?
286
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,090
I'm fine.
287
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,560
That's nice that
they're getting along.
288
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,060
Your girlfriend and your
ex-girlfriend are hanging out together?
289
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:53,430
Oh, yeah, that can
only be good for you.
290
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,830
What are you talking about?
291
00:12:57,830 --> 00:12:59,270
One of them
broke up with you.
292
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:01,770
Do you really want her
telling the other one why?
293
00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:03,770
I don't care.
294
00:13:03,770 --> 00:13:05,780
I don't have
anything to hide.
295
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:06,910
Good, good.
296
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,880
Then you have nothing
to worry about.
297
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,680
No, I do not.
298
00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,650
You are a mean little man.
299
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:21,050
You'd think it'd be because
my parents didn't love me,
300
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:23,220
but actually they
loved me a great deal.
301
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,790
Bernie, it's not you.
302
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:29,160
She's just set
in her ways.
303
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,460
How can we be together
if the thought of us
304
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,260
getting married
might kill your mother?
305
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:37,270
It's the circle
of life, sweetie.
306
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:43,070
One day our son will marry
someone and it will kill you.
307
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,010
Howard, I have to go
to the bathroom
308
00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:48,440
and no one
will take me home.
309
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,280
What's wrong with
the bathroom here?
310
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,680
Pneumococcus, streptococcus,
staphylococcus
311
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,980
and other assorted
coccuses.
312
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:58,880
Sheldon, my mother is
on her deathbed
313
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,950
and my fiancée is grief-stricken
over putting her there.
314
00:14:00,950 --> 00:14:02,590
I'm not taking you home.
315
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:04,290
Will you at least
316
00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:05,660
go with me to the restroom here,
317
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,790
so you can open the door
and flush the urinal?
318
00:14:07,790 --> 00:14:09,690
No!
319
00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,890
This might be a good time
to point out, Howard,
320
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,360
that friendship requires
a certain give and take.
321
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,200
Hold the door.
322
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:25,110
Mr. Wolowitz?
323
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:27,940
- Is she okay?
- It wasn't a heart attack.
324
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:30,180
She's awake, she's
resting comfortably--
325
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,380
we're still
running a few tests.
326
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:32,380
Can I see her?
327
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,750
Actually, she said,
and I quote,
328
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,050
she'd "like to see the
little Catholic girl first."
329
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,790
Me? Why me?
330
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:44,020
Jews have been asking
that for centuries.
331
00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:45,540
There's no real good answer.
332
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:50,470
Okay, well,
wish me luck.
333
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:51,970
Don't worry,
you'll be fine.
334
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,670
Let's just hide Mr. Cross.
335
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:56,600
If it touches her, it burns.
336
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,040
You brought a Catholic girl
home to your mother?
337
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:03,880
Yeah.
338
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,440
Why don't I write you a
prescription for Xanax.
339
00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:12,650
Finally.
340
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,430
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
341
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:32,170
Wait, you can't leave here,
you've been exposed.
342
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,740
No, I haven't.
343
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,610
It's all good.
344
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,180
You want to talk
about crazy mothers,
345
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:46,880
Leonard's mom wouldn't give him
any sort of approval growing up.
346
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,310
Oh, the poor thing.
347
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,580
It makes him desperate
to please women.
348
00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:52,790
That's why the foreplay
goes on and on.
349
00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:55,090
It does, doesn't it?
350
00:15:55,090 --> 00:15:57,620
It's like he's
trying to win a prize.
351
00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,230
A word of advice--
don't doze off.
352
00:15:59,230 --> 00:16:01,660
You will never hear
the end of it.
353
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,500
Help me!
354
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,230
Come back!
355
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,600
Penny!
356
00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:10,860
There are a couple of
things I did with Penny
357
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,230
that might be a
little silly, but...
358
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,500
Like what?
359
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:17,130
Every once in a while,
before we'd go to bed,
360
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:20,070
I'd put on a little show
for her.
361
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,840
What do you mean
"a show"?
362
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,880
Well, you know,
the way I took my clothes off.
363
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,180
Like, to music?
364
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:36,050
I'd look pretty stupid
if there was no music.
365
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:38,420
So you'd do
a striptease?
366
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:42,220
I wasn't swinging
around a pole.
367
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,520
Good, good.
368
00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:50,000
There was one time
I put body glitter on.
369
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,660
Well, I don't think
you have to worry
370
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,230
about Penny telling
my sister that.
371
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,400
No, she wouldn't.
372
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,770
Your big problem
is me telling her.
373
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,910
You really are
a mean little man.
374
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,740
Oh, God, that's so true.
375
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:08,080
I know, right?
376
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,480
Hey, what took
you guys so long?
377
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:11,950
Oh, we were
just chatting.
378
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,550
That's nice.
What about?
379
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:14,950
We were just
comparing notes
380
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,120
about how you are
in the sack.
381
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:22,350
That's funny.
Yeah.
382
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,420
What if she
wasn't kidding?
383
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,230
It doesn't matter.
384
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,060
I'm the king of foreplay.
385
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,370
Hey, how'd it go?
386
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,670
You're a putz.
387
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,640
You know what that means?
388
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,140
Yeah. Do you?
389
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,310
Your mother just
taught it to me.
390
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:45,570
She thinks she got food
poisoning from that deli
391
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:48,040
and she just wanted
to make sure I was okay.
392
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:49,680
And are you?
393
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,120
No, because I'm
engaged to a putz.
394
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:58,250
You let me believe I was the
reason she had a heart attack.
395
00:17:58,250 --> 00:17:59,590
Well, based on the
available evid--
396
00:17:59,590 --> 00:18:01,620
Shut up!
397
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:02,990
She said I'm
a wonderful girl
398
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,560
and that you're
lucky to have me.
399
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,960
Where are you going?
400
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,390
To the toilet!
401
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,790
Is that okay with you?!
402
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:19,830
Is it just me, or does she
sound sexy when she's angry?
403
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,920
Mountain Elf.
404
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,230
He takes the elf
from off the shelf.
405
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,840
Hell Hounds.
406
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,910
Hell Hounds-- who let
the Satanic dogs out?
407
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:45,410
Who? Who-who?
408
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,510
Colossal Serpent.
409
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:51,850
I got a colossal
serpent right here.
410
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,280
Must you?
411
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,750
Sorry, I'm just trying
to cheer my buddy up.
412
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,820
Rotting Zombie.
413
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:03,820
Sheldon's new
Facebook photo.
414
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:10,670
Zandor, Wizard of the North.
415
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,400
Ha! I win.
416
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,210
If you skip the part about being
417
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:16,050
under a two-week quarantine
because you were exposed
418
00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:17,970
to a deadly disease--
absolutely.
419
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:24,470
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
420
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:27,470
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --