1
00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,390
Hey, you guys ready to order?
2
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,200
Uh, sure.
Okay, Priya?
3
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,300
Uh, I'll have
the shepherd's pie.
4
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,530
You want to split
that with me?
5
00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:11,330
Oh, no, no, no,
he doesn't.
6
00:00:11,330 --> 00:00:12,370
Why not?
7
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:14,540
Well, you have milk in
the taters,
8
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:16,370
milk in the gravy,
parmesan crust.
9
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:18,110
Your lactose-intolerant
boyfriend will turn
10
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:20,510
into a gas-filled
Macy's Day balloon.
11
00:00:22,510 --> 00:00:25,650
Not quite accurate. The Macy's
balloons are filled with helium,
12
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:28,550
whereas Leonard produces copious
amounts of methane.
13
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,560
So, no, on the shepherd's pie.
Can we move on?
14
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,560
Yeah, a little tip:
he says he can eat frozen yogurt.
15
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,930
Do not believe it.
16
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:43,730
Sea bass!
I'll have the sea bass!
17
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:45,170
You gotta like this,
18
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,330
the girlfriend and the
ex-girlfriend bonding
19
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:49,500
over your rooty-tooty
stinky booty.
20
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,370
Kill me.
21
00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:55,010
It wouldn't help.
The human body is capable
22
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:58,180
of being flatulent for hours
after death.
23
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,280
Guys, sorry I'm late.
I have amazing news.
24
00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:07,290
Bernadette, before you
change the subject,
25
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:09,290
does anyone have any
final comments on
26
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:11,220
Leonard's faulty
digestive system?
27
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:13,330
So, what's your news,
Bernadette?
28
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:17,500
The thesis committee accepted
my doctoral dissertation.
29
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,270
I'm getting my PhD!
30
00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:20,930
Wow!
Oh, congratulations.
31
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:25,740
Wow, so that means you're a
doctor, you're a doctor,
32
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:28,240
you're a doctor,
you're a doctor,
33
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,710
and Howard,
you know a lot of doctors.
34
00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:36,380
Congratulations, honey.
35
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,980
Thank you.
36
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,090
So, Howard, tell us,
how's it feel knowing
37
00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:41,690
that when you two get married,
38
00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:43,920
you'll be referred to
as Mr. and Dr. Wolowitz?
39
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,060
Unless he takes Bernadette's
last name.
40
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,660
And considering
her advanced status,
41
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,000
that could open
some doors for him.
42
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,920
Please, this isn't about me.
I'm proud of you.
43
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,010
Well, you'll be
really be proud of this.
44
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,890
I was headhunted by a big
pharmaceutical company.
45
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,950
They're gonna pay me
a buttload of money!
46
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:02,580
What?
47
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,580
Bernadette, that's great.
48
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:06,380
Howard, do you make a buttload?
49
00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:09,550
Better than what you've
got a buttload of.
50
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,850
Hey, if I roll down the windows
in the car, everything's peachy.
51
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:18,020
If you do it,
you're still not a doctor.
52
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,230
Yeah, just a heads-up
on the car window deal.
53
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:23,360
It helps, but everything is
not "peachy."
54
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,370
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
55
00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:31,700
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
56
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,400
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
57
00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:36,570
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
58
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:39,540
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
59
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,580
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
60
00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:43,650
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
61
00:02:43,650 --> 00:02:45,320
♪ Bang! ♪
62
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,320
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x24 ♪
The Roommate Transmogrification
Original Air Date on May 19, 2011
63
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,720
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
64
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,490
♪ Oh, if there was a problem,
you can't solve it ♪
65
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:55,720
♪ Check out the hook
while my DJ revolves it ♪
66
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,090
♪ Ice, Ice, baby ♪
67
00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:00,990
♪ Ice, Ice, baby ♪
68
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,570
Oh, God, I feel
ridiculous in this dress.
69
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:10,500
You look beautiful,
Lieutenant Uhura.
70
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,470
Now prepare for... inspection.
71
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:17,710
Shh, my brother's
going to hear you.
72
00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:19,080
Relax, he's got
headphones on.
73
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,710
And we're ten miles above
Earth in a starship.
74
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,820
Really, ten miles?
75
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,120
You're orbiting inside
the atmosphere?
76
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,950
Moron.
77
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:30,180
I can't believe
I'm wearing
78
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,670
my brother's Halloween costume.
79
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,930
I can't believe you think
he only wears it on Halloween.
80
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,660
Open the landing bay doors,
shuttle craft approaching.
81
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,330
Okay, gotta go.
82
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,070
Hey, what's up?
83
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:54,750
Is that my future
daughter-in-law, the doctor?!
84
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,850
No, Ma! It's Raj!
85
00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:01,150
He's a doctor
too, right?!
86
00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:02,920
Yes!
87
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,290
Like Leonard and
the skinny weirdo!
88
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,330
Sheldon, yes!
89
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,490
Everybody's a doctor but me!
90
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:15,060
Well, whose fault
is that?!
91
00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:17,400
What's up?
92
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,100
Leonard's putting disgusting
memories in
93
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,670
my memory foam mattress.
94
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,040
Can I stay here tonight?
95
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,640
Sure, but I'm going out
with Bernadette.
96
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,280
It'll just be you and my mother.
97
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,850
I guess that's okay.
98
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:33,480
Ma, can Rajesh sleep over?!
99
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,250
Of course, he and I
can play doctor!
100
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,120
She's kidding, right?
101
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,690
I don't know, she's pretty
feisty since
102
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:46,860
they put her on
hormone-replacement therapy.
103
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,770
Paging Dr.
Cutie Pie!
104
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,370
I must say, Amy,
I was very impressed
105
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:59,370
to see that Bernadette got
her PhD.
106
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,880
It's indeed admirable.
107
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,710
Although, it is...
microbiology.
108
00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:07,180
Your doctorate is in
neurobiology.
109
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:09,520
I fail to see the distinction.
110
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,790
I'll make it simple for you.
111
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:11,700
I study the brain,
112
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:14,460
the organ responsible for
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
113
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:15,960
Bernadette studies yeast,
114
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,890
the organism responsible
for Michelob Lite.
115
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,430
Is there something wrong
with your neck?
116
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:24,500
It's a little stiff.
117
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,700
What a remarkably fragile
structure
118
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:30,000
to support
such a valuable payload.
119
00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:35,080
Not unlike balancing a Faberge
egg on a Pixie Stick.
120
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,910
Have you considered massage?
121
00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:39,510
I'd like to respond
to that sarcastically:
122
00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:42,610
Yes, I relish the thought
of a stranger covering my body
123
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,150
with oil and rubbing it.
124
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:49,020
I was proposing you massage your
muscles with your own hands.
125
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:52,460
Still sounds like a lot
of unnecessary touching.
126
00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:55,830
Trust me. With your right hand,
locate the spot
127
00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:58,100
where the scapula meets
the acromion process.
128
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,130
All right.
129
00:06:01,130 --> 00:06:03,960
Now push your third finger along
the ridge of the shoulder blade,
130
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,040
making a small rotation
as you do so.
131
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,610
Rotating.
132
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,380
You should feel
a small node-like object
133
00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:13,210
rolling back and forth along
the bone.
134
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:15,310
You mean the myofascial point?
135
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:18,350
Obviously.
136
00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:21,050
Now bear down on it like
the seventh grade noogies
137
00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:23,060
we all know too well.
138
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,690
Oh, dear Lord, yes, yes,
oh, yes!
139
00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:32,530
Amy, I've never been touched
like this before!
140
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,540
Oh! My hands are magic!
141
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,110
Don't flatter yourself.
142
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:42,470
Your hands are blunt tools
guided by my knowledge
143
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,710
of the nervous system.
144
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:47,880
I could just as easily have
paralyzed you.
145
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,320
There's someone at my door.
146
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,050
That doesn't interest me.
Good-bye.
147
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,920
- Can I sleep here tonight?
- Why?
148
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,590
Leonard's having
astronomically inaccurate
149
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,720
Star Trek sex with my sister.
150
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,200
I can see how that would be
upsetting. Come in.
151
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,440
I'll get the sheets
and blankets for the couch.
152
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,800
Oh, don't bother.
I'll just sleep in Leonard's room.
153
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,370
No, I can't authorize that.
154
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:18,210
Well, he's in my bed.
Why can't I be in his?
155
00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:20,740
The Hammurabic Code is
"an eye for an eye,"
156
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,810
not "a bed for a bed."
157
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,550
Come on, dude, I'm exhausted,
and Tyra Banks says
158
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,750
the most important item in your
makeup bag is
159
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,190
a good night's sleep.
160
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,490
All right.
161
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:38,000
This is a form
indemnifying me
162
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,500
from your use of
"Leonard's bedroom."
163
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,470
Sign here, indicating
that I tried to stop you
164
00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:48,940
and did so using
a stern facial expression.
165
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,710
Good night, Sheldon.
166
00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,110
Wait. Not yet.
167
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,580
We still have to go over
safety procedures.
168
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:59,620
Now, the apartment has three
emergency exits located
169
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,320
here, here, and here.
170
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,750
In the event of a power outage,
171
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:07,190
luminous paint will guide you
to the nearest exit.
172
00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:08,900
You're kidding.
173
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:21,770
I never kid about safety.
174
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,150
What are you doing here?
175
00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:36,520
I was sleeping.
176
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,720
In my bed?
177
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,420
Well, I would've slept
in my own bed,
178
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,490
but it was being used
to bring shame to my family.
179
00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:46,190
And the memory
of Gene Roddenberry.
180
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,800
Oh, you heard?
181
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,700
"Scotty, I need more power."
182
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:55,000
Sorry. Does Sheldon know
you're sleeping in here?
183
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,240
Are you kidding?
He made me sign a waiver,
184
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,410
participate in
an emergency fire drill
185
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:02,840
and take a refresher course
in CPR.
186
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,880
Thank God he had a dummy.
187
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,920
Oh, yeah.
Mouth-to-Mouth Mona.
188
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,550
You know,
she used to date Howard?
189
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,890
Oh, my God, she's that Mona?
190
00:09:13,890 --> 00:09:17,420
Why can't you and my sister
spend your nights here?
191
00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:19,530
We tried. She doesn't get along
with Sheldon.
192
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:21,960
Sheldon doesn't get along
with Sheldon.
193
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,700
It's still no reason
for me to have to listen to you
194
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:27,500
arm your
photon torpedoes every night.
195
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,800
Okay, well, how about this:
until Priya gets her own place,
196
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,070
you stay here and I'll stay at
your apartment.
197
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:37,010
Can I bring girls here?
198
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,510
You?
199
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,580
Sure. Bring as many as you want.
200
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,350
Okay, deal.
201
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,350
Just not against their will.
202
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,090
You really think you should be
eating that cake?
203
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,060
Why?
204
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:58,360
If you're gonna be
205
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,060
a trophy husband
for a rich wife,
206
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,600
you might want
to watch your waistline.
207
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,800
He's right.
208
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,800
A minute on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
209
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,670
Yeah, ha-ha.
210
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:12,240
First of all, I'm not threatened
by my fiancée's success.
211
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,340
I'm proud of her.
212
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,010
And secondly,
I have my own career.
213
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:19,150
Until you have kids.
214
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,950
Good news, Raj.
215
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:22,850
I got the blood work
back from the lab.
216
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,490
You're okay to stay for a while.
217
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:27,060
When did you take my blood?
218
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,290
Not important.
219
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:32,130
Your sugar was a little high.
220
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,700
I'd follow up
with your regular physician.
221
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,460
In the meantime, I have some
paperwork here
222
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,700
for you to go over.
223
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,730
What the hell is this?
224
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:40,500
Boilerplate stuff.
225
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,770
A modified roommate agreement
for a temporary house guest.
226
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:47,540
And a living will and durable
power of attorney.
227
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:51,180
This says you can make
"end of life" decisions for me.
228
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:55,050
As your friend, let's hope it
doesn't come to that.
229
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,250
Please sign.
230
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,090
Did you sign this?
231
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,620
There's a reciprocity
clause.
232
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,490
You get to pull
the plug on him, too.
233
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:05,830
Well, that seems fair.
234
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:09,360
Congratulations and welcome
temporarily aboard.
235
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,900
Here's your I.D. card,
236
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:15,840
your key and your lapel pin.
237
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,370
Which Leonard was
too cool to wear.
238
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:24,240
FYI, part of your
responsibilities
239
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,850
as roommate pro tem
will be to drive me
240
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,650
to and from work, the comic book
store, the barbershop
241
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:34,120
and the park for one hour every
other Sunday for fresh air.
242
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,760
Bring a ball or a Frisbee,
243
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,060
you know, something
he can chase.
244
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:42,300
Also, you're tasked
with bringing home
245
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,460
all takeout dinners.
246
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,830
Tonight is Thai food.
247
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,470
You'll find the standard order
in appendix B
248
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:49,900
or downloadable
from my FTP server.
249
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,270
If you have
any questions,
250
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:52,770
here's the FAQ sheet,
251
00:11:52,770 --> 00:11:55,340
or if you prefer
the human touch,
252
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,180
I do a live web chat called
"Apartment Talk"
253
00:11:57,180 --> 00:11:59,440
on Tuesday nights.
254
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:04,120
No backsies.
255
00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:10,860
Sheldon, dinner!
256
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,460
What is this?
257
00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:22,270
This is the difference
between
258
00:12:22,270 --> 00:12:24,300
eating and dining.
259
00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:31,610
Remarkable.
I'm just realizing how much
260
00:12:31,610 --> 00:12:34,780
Leonard's been skating by
all these years.
261
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,180
It's not a big thing.
262
00:12:37,180 --> 00:12:40,520
Just think of me as
a brown Martha Stewart.
263
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:43,990
Hey, Sheldon,
264
00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:45,460
did you change
your Wi-Fi password again?
265
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:49,060
Yes, it's "Penny, get your
own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
266
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,800
Thanks.
267
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,030
Wow! What's with
the fancy spread?
268
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,730
My new roommate
is bending over backwards
269
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,340
to ingratiate himself to me.
270
00:12:57,340 --> 00:13:01,670
Uh, nice touch,
by the way.
271
00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:03,840
What do you mean "new roommate"?
What happened to Leonard?
272
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,180
The same thing that happened
to Homo erectus.
273
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:08,850
He was replaced
by a superior species.
274
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,020
I'm the new Homo in town.
275
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,190
That came out wrong.
276
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:19,660
All right, let me try this
again. Where's Leonard?
277
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:21,990
He's living at my place,
so I'm living here.
278
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:24,030
You're living here
provisionally.
279
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:26,500
But I must say
it's looking good.
280
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,570
Oh Leonard and Priya
are living together?
281
00:13:29,570 --> 00:13:30,570
That's big.
282
00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:35,540
No. Origami napkin swans...
283
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,380
that's the headline.
284
00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:41,310
It's a good thing.
285
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,620
So do you know what kind
of research you'll be doing
286
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,220
at this pharmaceutical
company?
287
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,950
Well, there are a couple of
opportunities available,
288
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:53,990
but I volunteered for the
premature ejaculation project.
289
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,900
I mean, it's not like either
one of us has heart disease.
290
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,340
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you a little present.
291
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:11,110
Oh, Bernie, no.
You didn't have to.
292
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,410
I wanted to.
Come on, open it.
293
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:19,880
You bought me a Rolex?
294
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,080
How much did this cost?
295
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:24,190
Oh, you let me worry
about the money.
296
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:29,330
I just want my baby
to have pretty things.
297
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:35,800
More wine?
298
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,130
Oh, no, no, no. I've had
way too much already.
299
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:40,400
Here's an interesting
fact about alcohol...
300
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,070
Hit me.
301
00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:48,240
Man is not the only species
302
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,110
that ferments fruit
in order to become intoxicated.
303
00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:52,780
Can you guess what the other is?
304
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:55,720
Hint: sometimes they pack
the alcohol
305
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,850
in their trunks.
306
00:14:57,850 --> 00:14:59,960
Monkeys.
307
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:06,260
When does a monkey
have a trunk?
308
00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:09,500
When a suitcase just won't do.
309
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:14,370
Mmm, all right.
310
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,440
It would appear as if alcohol
311
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,470
is playing keep-away
with your intelligence.
312
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:20,370
Good night.
313
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:22,640
Please note,
it is now past 10:00 p.m.
314
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,280
Per our roommate agreement,
kindly refrain
315
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,680
from raucous laughter,
316
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,350
clinking of glasses,
and celebratory gunfire.
317
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,420
Okay...
318
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,320
explain something to me.
319
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,790
You watch Leonard put up with
that guy for years and years.
320
00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:41,860
What has to break inside
your brain for you to think,
321
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:44,660
"Oh, Krishna, I've got to
get me some of that"?
322
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,370
Well, it's a lot better than
323
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:50,670
having to wear noise-cancelling
headphones in my own apartment.
324
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:53,010
What? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.
325
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,580
Leonard's a noisy little dude
in the sack.
326
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,910
Every night.
Really?
327
00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,910
Even during allergy season,
when he has to alternate
328
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:01,880
between kissing and breathing?
329
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:06,090
It's my sister. Can we not
talk about this anymore?
330
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,220
Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
331
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,220
Can I tell you a secret?
332
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,660
Yeah.
333
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,860
I screwed up.
334
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:16,190
Leonard's a great guy.
335
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,160
Never should have
broken up with him.
336
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:22,270
Well, uh, to paraphrase Shakespeare
337
00:16:22,270 --> 00:16:24,640
"It's better to have
loved and lost
338
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,410
"than to stay home every night
and download
339
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:29,810
increasingly shameful
pornography."
340
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:35,280
Ohh... you poor baby.
341
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,750
What's wrong with me, Penny?
342
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:37,980
Nothing, nothing.
343
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:39,450
You know, if we weren't friends,
344
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,590
and you hadn't brought up
that creepy pornography story,
345
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:43,990
I'd be on you like
346
00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:46,260
the speed of light squared
on matter to make energy.
347
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:49,030
Hey, you totally got that right!
348
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:50,560
"E=mc2."
349
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,760
I listen.
350
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,670
I have no idea what it means,
but I listen.
351
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,370
To friendship.
To friendship.
352
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:01,570
Would you booze hounds
please stop that infernal clinking?!
353
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,350
And the answer
was elephant!
354
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:15,650
Mmm.
355
00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:19,320
Leonard, sweetheart, we're
kissing, not eating hot soup.
356
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,960
Sorry.
357
00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:27,860
That's my parents
on video chat.
358
00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:29,330
Go hide
in the bedroom.
359
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,700
Oh, come on!
360
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,170
Why don't we just tell
them that we're dating?
361
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,240
Oh, we've been through this.
It's not the time.
362
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,270
When is the time?
363
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:36,910
I've got five brothers
and sisters.
364
00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:38,270
One of them is bound
to screw up real big,
365
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,810
and then I'll tell my parents
about you. Now, shoo.
366
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,250
Fine.
367
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:46,550
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy.
368
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,680
We heard there was a tornado
in Kansas City.
369
00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:50,320
Is that close to you?
370
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,120
No.
371
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,120
Where is your brother?
372
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,920
Out with friends.
373
00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:57,490
I don't like it, a young girl
alone in an apartment.
374
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,360
I'll sleep so much better when
you move back here next month.
375
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,860
You're moving
back to India?!
376
00:18:01,870 --> 00:18:03,370
Who's that?
377
00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:05,270
Oh, my God! There's someone
in your apartment.
378
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:06,770
Call the police in America!
379
00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:09,370
When were you going
to tell me about this?
380
00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:11,570
Oh, hello, Leonard.
381
00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:13,070
What a pleasant surprise!
382
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,380
Mummy, Daddy, you remember
Rajesh's friend Leonard.
383
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,710
I thought you said Rajesh
was out with his friends.
384
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:20,950
He has many friends.
385
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,550
Rajesh has many friends?
386
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,490
Why are you lying to us?
387
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:28,790
She's lying because she doesn't
want you to know we're dating.
388
00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:29,790
Leonard!
389
00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:30,920
Well, what difference
does it make? If you're
390
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,160
moving back to India,
we're obviously breaking up.
391
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,260
You know what?
392
00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:37,630
I don't want to deal
with this right now.
393
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,870
So...
394
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,740
Hot in India?
395
00:18:49,740 --> 00:18:53,110
Of course it is.
It always is. It's India.
396
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,780
Now, what do you have
to say for yourself?
397
00:18:56,790 --> 00:18:58,790
Uh...
398
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,060
That is a beautiful tapestry.
399
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:37,930
Oh, God.
400
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:44,070
Oh, God!
401
00:19:45,340 --> 00:19:46,510
Oh.
402
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:49,110
Okay, look.
403
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:50,610
This never happened.
404
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:52,340
Do you understand me?
405
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,320
Really?! Still
can't talk to me?
406
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,020
What are you
doing here?
407
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:03,640
What?
408
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,550
I said, what are you doing here?
409
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,330
I live here.
410
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,660
I have paperwork
that says differently.
411
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,700
Priya's going back to India.
412
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,270
Irrelevant.
413
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000
Rajesh and I have
a good thing going
414
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,540
and you're not going to ruin it.
415
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,380
What are you doing here?
416
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:27,380
I've been up all night.
417
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:29,580
- I had a fight with Bernadette.
- Why?
418
00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:32,550
She gave me
a beautiful watch.
419
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:37,420
Leonard, do you
understand this?
420
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,860
Yes.
421
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:40,390
Talk to him.
422
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,740
Damn.
423
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,900
What's going on?
424
00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:56,240
Oh...
425
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,510
It's-it's not what
it looks like.
426
00:21:01,810 --> 00:21:03,550
What does it look like?
427
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,240
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
428
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,240
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --