1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,878
We were worried
about you.

2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:06,880
Don`t be melodramatic.

3
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:08,465
l`m just getting on a train

4
00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:10,718
and leaving forever.

5
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,929
So a few things
don`t go your way

6
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,305
and your best
decision

7
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,891
is to ride the
rails like a hobo?

8
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:20,144
Leonard, l am overwhelmed.

9
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,270
Everything
is changing,

10
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,647
and it`s simply too much.

11
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,315
l need to get away and think.

12
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,817
Sheldon...

13
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,610
Yes?

14
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,571
l`m gonna miss you.

15
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,282
Of course you are.

16
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,369
You just made
that easier.

17
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,500
Excuse me.

18
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,464
ls it at all possible

19
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,549
that you`re knitting
a pair of pants?

20
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,636
Oh, well, no, you`re
understandably terrified.

21
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,306
But, you know,
allow me to explain.

22
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,434
45 days ago, um,
l embarked on

23
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,977
a railroad journey
of healing

24
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,354
because my university

25
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,022
was making me do
string theory,

26
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,524
and my favorite comic
book store burned down,

27
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,401
and when my roommate
got engaged,

28
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,653
my girlfriend wanted
to move in with me,

29
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,323
which was no doubt
a ploy just to see my--

30
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,742
well, excuse my language,
but my bathing suit parts.

31
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,539
Uh, sir, may l
use your phone?

32
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,541
l don`t think so.
Yeah, well,

33
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,377
l understand that
l`m half naked,

34
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,253
but there is
a reasonable explanation.

35
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,798
While l slept
in my sleeper car,

36
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,591
all my possessions were stolen.

37
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,592
Now,

38
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,260
typically,
l wear pajamas,

39
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:39,139
but l recently adopted
a hobo lifestyle

40
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,768
and pajamas are the
sleep-pants of the Man.

41
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,856
l`ll have you know,
Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants

42
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,733
and a nation rallied behind him!

43
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,777
My good man...

44
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,112
Now, before you walk away...

45
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,030
l know that l may
appear deranged,

46
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,491
but l am, in fact,
a world-renowned physicist.

47
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,869
Ask me the difference
between a boson and a fermion.

48
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,037
Go ahead, ask!

49
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,709
Bosons have integer spin,

50
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,128
fermions have half-integer spin!

51
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,379
My legs are getting cold!

52
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,298
Why won`t anybody help me?

53
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,885
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

54
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:20,222
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

55
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,890
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

56
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,560
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

57
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,062
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

58
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,773
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

59
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,692
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

60
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,402
♪ Bang! ♪

61
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,743
(sniffs)

62
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,744
Morning.

63
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,370
Hi. Want to do
yoga with me?

64
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:44,997
Um, let me just have
some coffee first,

65
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,082
and then l`ll have
the strength to tell you

66
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,418
how much l won`t be doing that.

67
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,338
(phone ringing)

68
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,547
Hello?

69
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,507
Hello, Leonard.

70
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,469
Hey, buddy.
Good to hear your voice.

71
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,054
Uh, l`m in Kingman, Arizona,

72
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,474
and, uh, l need you
to come pick me up.

73
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,434
l`d love to.

74
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,895
l`m just about
to do yoga with Penny.

75
00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,774
Leonard, l`m at
the police station.

76
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,775
l was robbed.

77
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,276
Th-They took my phone,

78
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,487
my wallet, my iPad, everything.

79
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,696
Oh, my God, are you okay?

80
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,697
No,

81
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,782
l`m not okay.

82
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,658
l-l`m wearing borrowed pants,

83
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,786
l-l don`t have l.D.,

84
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,245
and one of the officers here

85
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,664
won`t stop calling me
Chicken Legs.

86
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,083
Okay.

87
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,292
Uh, l`ll-l`ll
come get you.

88
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,293
What`s the address?

89
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,336
Hey, what`s going on?
Oh.

90
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,796
He got all of
his stuff stolen.

91
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,130
Oh...

92
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,216
Okay...

93
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,467
Sheldon, hang tight.

94
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,010
Hey, do you want me
to bring anything?

95
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,387
Oh, yes, please.

96
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,554
A pair of pants.

97
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,806
And my toothbrush.

98
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,557
Yeah, and my mail.

99
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,476
And a really good comeback
for Chicken Legs,

100
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,478
because ``l know you are,
but what am l?``

101
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,231
was met with stony silence.

102
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,024
l`ll be there
as soon as l can.

103
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,317
ls he okay?

104
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,069
Yeah, he`s fine, he`s
just a little rattled.

105
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,154
Oh...
Feel like driving
to Arizona with me?

106
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,489
l can`t, l have
that job interview.

107
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,865
Oh, right.
Besides,

108
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,409
l don`t need six hours of
``Your hair is different.

109
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,785
``Why did you change your hair?

110
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,995
l`m holding my breath
until your hair grows back.``

111
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,581
All right, fine.

112
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,167
Hey, can you
think of a reason

113
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,211
l shouldn`t invite
Amy to come with me?
Nope.

114
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,797
Come on, you didn`t even try.

115
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,217
Thanks for the lift.

116
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,510
What`s wrong
with your car?

117
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,722
l`m having my windows untinted.

118
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,557
Why?

119
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,933
Got a hot girlfriend now.

120
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,810
l want the haters to know.

121
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,270
What are you talking about?

122
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,855
No one`s paying
attention to you.

123
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,189
Wow.

124
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,650
How`s that Hater-ade
taste, bro?

125
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,695
Hey, this isn`t
the way to work.

126
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,781
l just want to pop in
and make sure Ma`s okay.

127
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,450
l thought Stuart
was looking after her.

128
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,870
He was, but now that her cast
is off, he moved out.

129
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,413
And honestly, l`m kind of glad.

130
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,873
lt was getting a little weird.

131
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,166
How so?

132
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,250
l don`t know,
they`re...

133
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,919
chummy.

134
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,546
Like us?

135
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,089
No, not like us.

136
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,466
Creepy chummy,

137
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,718
like you and your dog.

138
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:06,221
She feeds him out
of her own mouth?

139
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,600
l mean, he calls
her Debbie,

140
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,769
she calls
him Stewie

141
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,437
and they`re all giggly
around each other.

142
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,522
And believe me,
when food goes in that mouth,

143
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,232
it does not come out.

144
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,151
So are you worried

145
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,904
because he`s replacing you
as a son

146
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,740
or are you worried because
he`s becoming her lover?

147
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,409
First of all, no one can
replace me as a son.

148
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,911
l`m her little matzo ball.

149
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,871
And secondly,

150
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,498
my mother is well past

151
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,042
having any kind of sex life.

152
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,752
Okay, okay.

153
00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,464
Although many older women
lead vibrant, active...

154
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,257
l said well past it!

155
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,596
Excuse me,
Officer Hernandez?

156
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,599
Any leads on the person
who stole my belongings?

157
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,642
Not yet.

158
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,893
Well, perhaps l can help.

159
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,770
Sherlock Holmes
always says

160
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,898
when you eliminate
the impossible,

161
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,192
whatever remains,
however improbable,

162
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,610
must be the truth.

163
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,780
Now, have-have you
tried doing that?

164
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,615
Nope.

165
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:10,369
Well, maybe you should.

166
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,205
Th-Th-There`s lots of books
called ``Sherlock Holmes``

167
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,624
and there`s no books
called ``Officer Hernandez.``

168
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,258
Thanks again
for coming.

169
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,510
Six hours was gonna be
a long drive by myself.

170
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,845
My pleasure.

171
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,597
And l`m not angry at all
that my boyfriend

172
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,683
was in trouble
and called you instead of me.

173
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:33,767
l love that!

174
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,940
Yeah, time`s gonna fly by.

175
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,194
l haven`t been on a job
interview in years.

176
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,320
l`m really nervous.

177
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,488
Don`t be.

178
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,323
You are built for
pharmaceutical sales.

179
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:51,201
You`re cute,
you`re flirty and...

180
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,787
Started that like there
were gonna be three things.

181
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,458
l don`t have
any experience in sales.

182
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,377
Unless you count the bikini
car wash l did in high school.

183
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,005
But you already made me
take that off my rsumé.

184
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,842
This job is a lot
like being a waitress,

185
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,344
except instead of
pushing the fish tacos

186
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,595
`cause they`re
about to go bad,

187
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,680
you`re just pushing
our antidepressants

188
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,183
before the FDA finds out they
may cause rectal bleeding.

189
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,603
They do?

190
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,897
Maybe.

191
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,525
But like our lawyers say,
the world is full of things

192
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,903
that can cause a
rectum to bleed.

193
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:28,822
Anyway, l talked
you up to Dan.

194
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,366
He`s the guy who`ll
be interviewing you.

195
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,742
Oh, l really appreciate this.

196
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,452
l just hope l`m not
in over my head.

197
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,371
You`ll be fine.
Just be yourself.

198
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,039
l wish l felt more confident.
Penny,

199
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,582
l wouldn`t have put
you up for this job

200
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,833
if l didn`t think
you could handle it.

201
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,127
Oh, thank you,
but maybe l should cancel.

202
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,046
lt`s too late to cancel.
You`re going.

203
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,881
But l don`t know anything
about pharmaceuticals.

204
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,299
Oh, l understand.

205
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,218
You want to do something
you`re already good at.

206
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,511
l know.

207
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,221
Why don`t l get
you a job at

208
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,890
the Sitting Around All Day
Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?

209
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,146
They`re comfortable.

210
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,902
Ma, l hope you`re decent.
Raj is here!

211
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,278
You just started seeing
naked women again,

212
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,863
and l don`t want you
to be confused

213
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,198
about where the boobs should be.

214
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,076
Oh, hey, guys.

215
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,494
What are you
doing here?

216
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,247
Uh... w-what are you doing here?

217
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,415
l thought you moved out.

218
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,417
Oh, yeah, l was going to,

219
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,335
and then Debbie
and l got to talking

220
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,920
over dinner
the other night.

221
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,213
l didn`t have anyplace to go,

222
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,589
she likes having me around,

223
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,217
so we both said, ``Why leave?``
at the same time.

224
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,427
(laughs)

225
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,512
lt was precious.

226
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:37,141
lt`s not that precious.

227
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,559
l`d like to
back you up,

228
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,436
but it sounds like it
was pretty precious.

229
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,985
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
Stewie, l can`t find my glasses!

230
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,653
Be right there, Deb Deb!

231
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,906
They`re probably on her head.

232
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,076
Or in her neck.
Listen.

233
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,372
You staying here
seems like something

234
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,541
she would`ve talked
to me about.

235
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,960
Well, maybe if you called your
mother more often, you`d know.

236
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,133
lt wouldn`t kill you
to pick up the phone.

237
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:19,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

238
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,567
Any word on my
stolen items?

239
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,569
We`re doing everything we can.

240
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,280
You know, Sherlock Holmes

241
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,324
liked to use cocaine
to sharpen his focus.

242
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,789
But l`m sure those Cool Ranch
Doritos are doing the trick.

243
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,583
Sheldon.

244
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,210
(gasps)
Leonard!

245
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,545
Oh, l`m so happy
to see you.

246
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,631
Are you okay?
Oh, l`m fine.

247
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,341
Why did you come?

248
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,594
What do you mean,
why did l come?

249
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,720
You`re my boyfriend.

250
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,430
l haven`t seen you
in over a month.

251
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,432
l just drove six hours
to help you out.

252
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,017
Don`t you have
anything to say besides,

253
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,102
``Why did you come?``

254
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,021
l do, but...

255
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,690
l feel uncomfortable
saying it out loud

256
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,316
in front of these
police officers.

257
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:11,944
Fine.

258
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,028
Whisper it.

259
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:18,951
Shotgun.

260
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,294
So, Sheldon, tell
us about your trip.

261
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,671
Where`d you go?

262
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,172
Where didn`t l go?

263
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,257
l went to New York,

264
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,510
Chicago, Atlanta, Denver,

265
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,012
Seattle.

266
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,471
How were they?

267
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,931
Oh, l have no idea.

268
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,474
l never left
the train station.

269
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,437
Hang on. You traveled
across the entire country

270
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,313
and never left a train station?

271
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,606
Why would l?

272
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,400
That`s where
all the cool trains are.

273
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,446
l`m sorry, so you
never went outside?

274
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,073
Or had a single
piece of fruit.

275
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,619
So...

276
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,746
why do you think
you`d make

277
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:07,082
a good pharmaceutical sales rep?

278
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,043
Well, l`m a people person.
Mm-hmm.

279
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,294
People like me.

280
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,296
Some of my favorite people
are people.

281
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,424
l feel like l`m saying
``people`` a lot.

282
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,052
People, people, people, pe...
Okay, l`m done.

283
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,470
You sure?

284
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,679
People.

285
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,598
Yes.

286
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,433
Good!

287
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,642
So, how do you feel

288
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,644
your previous job experience
has prepared you

289
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,605
for a career like this?

290
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,775
Uh, well, as a waitress,
sales was a big part of my job.

291
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,319
l mean, believe me, l convinced
a lot of very large customers,

292
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,779
who should not be
eating cheesecake,

293
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,739
to have more cheesecake.

294
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,115
l mean,

295
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,117
one of those chubsters
even had an insulin pump!

296
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,703
Uh-huh!

297
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,832
l have an insulin pump.

298
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,253
People.
(quiet laugh)

299
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,549
lt`s weird, right?

300
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,928
A grown man in his 30s
living with my mother.

301
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,262
That is weird.

302
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,432
l thought he was, like, 45.

303
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,434
Come on, you don`t think
it`s a little odd?

304
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,520
l don`t know!
l mean, she`s lonely.

305
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,979
He needs a place to stay.

306
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,856
l doubt there`s
any funny business going on.

307
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,149
And even if there was,

308
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,651
who cares?
They`re both adults.

309
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,111
``Who cares``?!
You wouldn`t care

310
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:19,071
if l slept with your mom?

311
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,781
You know what?
You`re my best friend,

312
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,074
and she`s in a bad marriage.

313
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,159
l give you my blessing.

314
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,537
This is stupid.

315
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,832
l`m just gonna call my mother
and be honest with her.

316
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,459
`Cause that`s
what little matzo balls do.

317
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,672
(line ringing)

318
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,881
STUART:
This is Debbie!

319
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,174
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
And this is Stuart!

320
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,803
BOTH:
Just kidding!

321
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,723
STUART:
Leave a message!

322
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,808
(beeps)

323
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,062
whispers):
This is the part where you talk.

324
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,692
All right, let`s say
a physician was prescribing

325
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,194
one of our competitor`s drugs.

326
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,030
How would you convince them
to switch to ours?

327
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:08,037
Um...

328
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,872
any chance his car needs

329
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:13,000
to be washed by a girl
in a bikini?

330
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,211
(quietly):
No...

331
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,464
Okay, l`m really sorry
for wasting your time.

332
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,050
Don`t worry about it.
Thanks for stopping by.

333
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,093
Okay, thanks.

334
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,556
Um, l`m sor...
Listen, could you do me a favor

335
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,392
and not tell Bernadette
how badly l blew this interview?

336
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:31,810
She`ll get upset.

337
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,564
And honestly l`m a...
a little terrified of her.

338
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,984
Wait, wait.
You`re scared of Bernadette?

339
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,569
Yeah, kind of.

340
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,947
l thought it was just me!

341
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,534
E-Everyone thinks she`s so nice

342
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,913
with that squeaky little voice.

343
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,790
l know, but she`s
kind of a bully!

344
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:55,000
(stammers)
She is!

345
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,502
l-l didn`t even want
to meet you,

346
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,963
but, uh, l was too scared
to say no to her.

347
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,632
Me, too!

348
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,425
Yeah, yeah!
One-one time, l had...

349
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,010
Oh! (laughs)
l had to tell her

350
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,595
we were cutting
the-the research funding

351
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,263
for one of the drugs
she was developing.

352
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,515
What happened?

353
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,141
l couldn`t do it!

354
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,185
She`s still working on it!
(laughs)

355
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,396
(laughing)

356
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,690
Oh!

357
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,608
We`re not gonna tell her
about this, right?

358
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,735
Oh, my God, no!
No, no...

359
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,280
At the hot dog stand
in the Denver train station--

360
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,949
Heinz ketchup.

361
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,158
At the hot dog stand

362
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,660
in the Salt Lake City
train station--

363
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,120
Heinz ketchup.

364
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,623
At the hot dog stand in the
lndianapolis train station...

365
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,544
l don`t care.

366
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,089
Wrong! Hunt`s!

367
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,050
Hey, Amy!
What do you say?

368
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,344
You ready to move on
to the mustard round?

369
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,222
Have you not noticed that
l`ve been sitting back here

370
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,516
quietly stewing for
the past two hours?

371
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,894
l just thought
you were bad at the game.

372
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,897
l`m mad at you!

373
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,525
How could you just
go away like that

374
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,818
without even
saying good-bye,

375
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,987
and then call Leonard
for help instead of me?

376
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:08,991
Amy?

377
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,160
May l please have
a moment of privacy

378
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,287
to speak with my roommate?

379
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:16,415
We`re in a moving car!

380
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,002
What do you expect me to do?

381
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,046
Stick my fingers in my ears?

382
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,672
Well, l was thinking
put your head out the window

383
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,090
like a dog, but that`ll work.

384
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,010
Please? This`ll be quick.

385
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,558
Leonard?

386
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,018
As soon as we get home,

387
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,312
l want to have coitus with Amy.

388
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,279
Okay, she can`t hear.

389
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,368
The reason l called you

390
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,912
is because l didn`t want Amy

391
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,498
to know l couldn`t make it
on my own.

392
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,583
What`s the big deal?

393
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,002
Oh, of course it`s
no big deal to you.

394
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,463
You idolize me,
and nothing could ever knock me

395
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,715
off that pedestal you put me on.

396
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,759
Well, yeah, it`s true.

397
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,552
You-you are a god to me.

398
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,430
Can l stop now?

399
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:16,141
Just tell her.

400
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,687
l called Leonard because...

401
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,689
l failed.

402
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,900
And l didn`t want you
to think less of me.

403
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,903
You were worried about that?

404
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,407
Yes.

405
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,078
Sheldon...

406
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:39,331
it`s okay with me that
you`re not perfect.

407
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:46,922
Can l have one more moment
with Leonard?

408
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,966
Sure.

409
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,560
Amy just hurt my feelings.
l want to break up with her.

410
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,149
Now, l never thought
l`d say this, but l`m

411
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:08,485
kind of excited to see Sheldon.

412
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,530
l never thought l`d say this,
but Penny got a job today.

413
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,907
She did?

414
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,534
Well, the only reason she got it

415
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,370
is `cause the guy
who interviewed her loves me.

416
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,997
(knocking)

417
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,125
(clears throat)

418
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,420
What do you want?

419
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,298
l, uh, kind of got the feeling

420
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:32,259
you might not be okay with me
staying at your mom`s.

421
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,510
You`re right, l`m not.

422
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,887
l think it`s weird.

423
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,929
Howie?

424
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,264
lt is. He`s a grown man.

425
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,807
He`s just gonna
live there rent-free?

426
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,184
How is that gonna motivate him

427
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,186
to get off his butt
and get a job?

428
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:45,147
l mean, do you even have a plan?

429
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,649
Hey, you`re not my father, okay?

430
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,943
And besides, your mother
and l were talking...

431
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:51,904
``Your mother and l``?
You`re not my father!

432
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,155
l didn`t say l was your father!

433
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,198
Well, l didn`t say

434
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,991
l was your father!
Okay, calm down.

435
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,910
You`re not his father,
he`s not your father!

436
00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,788
Nobody`s anybody`s father.

437
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,456
l-l`m sorry
you don`t like my life choices,

438
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:03,957
but it`s my life!

439
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,126
Well, it`s my house,
it`s my rules!

440
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,212
Oh-oh! Okay, Dad!

441
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,839
lf l mow the lawn,
can l have my allowance?

442
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,925
Hey, don`t you take that
sarcastic tone with him!

443
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,301
l don`t have
to listen to you!

444
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,511
Don`t talk to her like that!

445
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,096
That is my mother... Wife!

446
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,014
My wife! l said my wife!

447
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,683
You know what?

448
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,101
This isn`t getting us anywhere.

449
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,770
When you`re ready to apologize,
you know where to find me.

450
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,022
Well, yeah, in my house!

451
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,066
That`s right, sucka!

452
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,822
l wish l`d never
gone on that trip.

453
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,366
l feel no better now
than when l left.

454
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,951
But you still
accomplished something.

455
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,661
Yeah. lf you had
told anyone

456
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,830
that you were going away
on a train by yourself

457
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,416
across the country, do you
know what they would have said?

458
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:47,459
That l couldn`t do it?
Exactly.

459
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,004
Right after they said, ``Yay!``

460
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,007
But you did do it.

461
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,134
So what if it didn`t
all go your way?

462
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,386
That`s what makes it
an adventure.

463
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,513
That`s a good point.

464
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:03,058
Yeah, l`m a lot like
Gandalf the Grey.

465
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,352
He fought the Balrog and emerged

466
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,980
stronger than ever
as Gandalf the White.

467
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,566
l was robbed
of my phone and pants,

468
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:12,901
and l, too,
came back stronger.

469
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,778
And whiter, too,
`cause l wasn`t

470
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,573
in direct sunlight
for six weeks.

471
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:20,826
See? This trip
was good for you.

472
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,453
lndeed.

473
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:25,706
l was the world`s
smartest caterpillar.

474
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:29,501
And then after pupating
in our nation`s railway system,

475
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,086
l`ve burst forth

476
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,089
as the world`s
smartest butterfly.

477
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,342
Butterfly could`ve
gotten himself

478
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,761
home from Arizona.

479
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:41,847
Yeah, l feel renewed.

480
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:42,848
l`m ready

481
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:43,974
to deal with any changes

482
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,225
that come my way.

483
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,644
Hey!
Hey!

484
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,188
Look who`s back!

485
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,773
Your hair is different.
You changed your hair.

486
00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:53,108
l can`t take this.
l`m out.

487
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,573
Would you like to see pictures
from my trip?

488
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,033
l thought your
phone got stolen.

489
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,951
Yeah, it did,
but luckily all my photos

490
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,037
got backed up to the Cloud.

491
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,290
And you thought they
all had a silver lining.

492
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,667
Here-- day one.

493
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:11,043
Uh, this was the seat

494
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,961
l was going to sit in but didn`t

495
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,673
because there were
cracker crumbs on it.

496
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,842
As it was first class,
l suspect Ritz.

497
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:23,514
This is the train bathroom.

498
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:25,265
This is the lmodium l took

499
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,893
so l would never have
to use the train bathroom.

500
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,645
l cannot believe

501
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,146
you traveled the
entire country

502
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,523
and never left
the train station.

503
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,525
l know.
You know, l almost died

504
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:37,528
in a fire in Des Moines,
but l stayed put.

505
00:20:37,529 --> 00:20:39,321
FYl--

506
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,865
that`s when
the lmodium gave out.

506
00:20:42,305 --> 00:21:42,347
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