﻿1
00:00:02,781 --> 00:00:05,547
I recently read that
during World War Two,

2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:09,438
Joseph Stalin had a research
program to create supersoldiers

3
00:00:09,453 --> 00:00:12,667
by having women
impregnated by gorillas.

4
00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:16,058
What a sick use
of science.

5
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,549
Hey, as long as the
baby's healthy.

6
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:22,421
I wonder if Stalin considered
any other animals.

7
00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:24,452
Hippos are the
deadliest creature.

8
00:00:24,477 --> 00:00:27,831
A half-human, half-hippo soldier
would be pretty badass.

9
00:00:28,717 --> 00:00:32,625
Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry,
you can stop them with marbles.

10
00:00:33,564 --> 00:00:37,853
Yeah, the correct animal for
interspecies supersolider is koala.

11
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,891
You would wind up with an army
so cute it couldn't be attacked.

12
00:00:43,055 --> 00:00:45,414
But half-man,
half-owl could fly...

13
00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:49,524
The answer is cuddly soldiers
with big flat noses. Moving on.

14
00:00:50,805 --> 00:00:52,446
So, Penny, when's
the new job start?

15
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:53,618
Next Monday.

16
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,918
Did you get a chance to look
over the materials I gave you?

17
00:00:55,948 --> 00:00:59,204
- Uh, not yet, but I will.
- Great. When?

18
00:00:59,912 --> 00:01:02,029
I said I'll get to it.

19
00:01:05,619 --> 00:01:08,370
I'm sensing awkwardness,
am I right?

20
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,237
Yes.

21
00:01:10,265 --> 00:01:11,985
Swish.

22
00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:18,264
I don't want to be pushy, but you've
never done pharmaceutical sales before.

23
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,731
It seems like you could use
this time to get a head start.

24
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,375
Well, the first few weeks
will be all training.

25
00:01:22,406 --> 00:01:24,156
They'll tell me everything
I need to know.

26
00:01:24,179 --> 00:01:26,161
But imagine how impressed
they'd be if you showed up

27
00:01:26,176 --> 00:01:28,153
already familiar
with the material.

28
00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:30,767
Okay, so what, you want me
to be like a teacher's pet?

29
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,174
Couldn't hurt.

30
00:01:32,196 --> 00:01:33,822
Mm, I don't know.

31
00:01:33,837 --> 00:01:37,360
Who here has ever been hurt because
they were the teacher's pet?

32
00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:44,671
It was like the rest of the class
<i>wanted</i> Ms. McDonald to forget the quiz.

33
00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:48,494
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪

34
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:52,437
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

35
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,600
♪ The Earth
began to cool ♪

36
00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:56,641
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

37
00:01:56,648 --> 00:01:58,538
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪
<i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪

38
00:01:58,561 --> 00:02:01,422
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

39
00:02:01,444 --> 00:02:03,430
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

40
00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:04,244
♪<i> Bang!</i> ♪

41
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:07,275
<font color=#00FF00>♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x02 ♪</font>
<font color=#00FFFF>The Junior Professor Solution</font>
Original Air Date on Septem

42
00:02:07,287 --> 00:02:10,287
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

43
00:02:12,037 --> 00:02:13,716
Mrs. Davis.

44
00:02:13,723 --> 00:02:15,927
- Guess who?
- Dr. Cooper.

45
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:18,266
That's right, good job.

46
00:02:19,629 --> 00:02:20,645
Hello.

47
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:22,738
Uh, you wanted to see me?

48
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,317
Yes. Uh, welcome back.

49
00:02:24,347 --> 00:02:25,442
Thank you.

50
00:02:25,472 --> 00:02:28,449
I assume you'd like to
reopen our dialogue

51
00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:31,410
about the university forcing me
to continue with string theory?

52
00:02:31,448 --> 00:02:32,964
You mean the
dialogue that went,

53
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:36,747
"Please?" "No." "Please?"
"No." "Please?" "No."

54
00:02:37,631 --> 00:02:39,164
That's the one.

55
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:43,440
I believe you went
last, so, uh, please?

56
00:02:44,283 --> 00:02:47,904
Dr. Cooper, while you were away,
we came up with a solution

57
00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:50,404
that would allow you to
change your field of study.

58
00:02:50,419 --> 00:02:52,209
Wow.

59
00:02:52,231 --> 00:02:55,055
Pouting and running
away actually worked.

60
00:02:55,659 --> 00:02:59,283
Yeah, I must say, that may not be a
lesson you want to reinforce with me.

61
00:02:59,964 --> 00:03:02,848
So, um, what is
the solution?

62
00:03:02,871 --> 00:03:06,895
Currently, you're being paid under a grant
to specifically research string theory.

63
00:03:06,918 --> 00:03:09,328
If we promote you to
junior professor,

64
00:03:09,353 --> 00:03:12,653
you'll be able to choose whatever
field of research you'd like.

65
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:17,512
But if I'm a professor, then
I'll have to teach a class.

66
00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:19,374
That is correct.

67
00:03:20,192 --> 00:03:24,763
So your solution is to promote
me and pay me more money

68
00:03:24,785 --> 00:03:28,856
so that I can impart my knowledge to
the next generation of scientists?

69
00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:30,627
Yes.

70
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:33,279
You people are sick.

71
00:03:38,336 --> 00:03:40,134
Hey. Ready to go to lunch?

72
00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:43,211
Just give me a minute. I'm stimulating
the pleasure cells of this starfish.

73
00:03:43,226 --> 00:03:45,648
- I just need to turn it off.
- What happens if you don't?

74
00:03:45,663 --> 00:03:46,867
Then I have to sit
through lunch

75
00:03:46,883 --> 00:03:49,863
knowing this starfish is
having a better day than I am.

76
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,652
Is Bernadette meeting
us at the restaurant?

77
00:03:53,672 --> 00:03:56,606
Uh, no. Actually, I
didn't invite her.

78
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:57,968
How come?

79
00:03:57,991 --> 00:04:01,413
Well, ever since she helped me get
this job, she won't stop bugging me.

80
00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:03,477
Well, I think she just
wants you to do well,

81
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:08,700
and she's worried that you won't 'cause
you were just a stunningly poor waitress.

82
00:04:09,255 --> 00:04:10,554
That is not true.

83
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:13,909
I'm still waiting on my mini
corndogs from two years ago.

84
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,816
I told you, they'll
be right out.

85
00:04:19,095 --> 00:04:21,252
Okay, so no Bernadette.

86
00:04:21,298 --> 00:04:24,088
Well, you saw her the other night.
Am I wrong?

87
00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:25,642
No, I just...

88
00:04:25,673 --> 00:04:28,424
I feel kind of uncomfortable
talking about her like this.

89
00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:30,876
Usually when someone's being
talked about behind their back,

90
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,630
it's me and it's right
in front of my face.

91
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,176
I-I'm sorry. I just need
a little break from her.

92
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:38,871
I understand.

93
00:04:39,489 --> 00:04:41,216
You know,

94
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,834
there is some research
that indicates that

95
00:04:43,859 --> 00:04:46,243
sharing negative attitudes
about a third party

96
00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:49,663
can be a powerful bonding
force between two friends.

97
00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:52,106
So, what are you saying?

98
00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:55,060
I'm saying, in the
spirit of science,

99
00:04:55,082 --> 00:04:57,638
what is that little
skank's problem?

100
00:05:01,113 --> 00:05:05,590
So, I've been trying to come up with a
cute couple's nickname for me and Emily.

101
00:05:05,621 --> 00:05:07,019
What do you like better--

102
00:05:07,031 --> 00:05:08,946
Emippali...

103
00:05:09,865 --> 00:05:12,062
or Koothrapemily?

104
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:16,533
Why is it your last name
and her first name?

105
00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:17,924
Oh, well, her last
name is Sweeney,

106
00:05:17,939 --> 00:05:22,061
and something just didn't seem
right about Koothrapeeney.

107
00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:27,730
Hey, how'd it go with
human resources?

108
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:28,730
Awful.

109
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,146
Yeah, they're allowing me to
move on from string theory,

110
00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:35,239
but they made me a junior professor and
are requiring me to teach a class.

111
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,989
I don't understand. Why is it
bad that you have to teach?

112
00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,175
What a stupid question.

113
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,652
The kids are
gonna love him.

114
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:48,725
I can't believe I have to waste my time
babysitting a bunch of grad students

115
00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:51,811
who probably think dark matter
is what's in their diapers.

116
00:05:53,156 --> 00:05:54,615
This might not
be that bad.

117
00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:56,412
Uh, you like telling
people they're wrong.

118
00:05:56,435 --> 00:05:58,054
Wrong!

119
00:05:59,245 --> 00:06:02,964
Just because I enjoyed that
one doesn't mean I always do.

120
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:04,831
You enjoy giving
people grades.

121
00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:08,336
A valid point, but
unoriginal-- B-minus.

122
00:06:09,284 --> 00:06:11,162
And you love the sound
of your own voice.

123
00:06:11,184 --> 00:06:13,802
Yeah, well, of course I do.
Listen to it.

124
00:06:13,825 --> 00:06:16,866
It's like an earful
of melted caramel.

125
00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:22,662
Look, most importantly, this will let
you move on and study dark matter.

126
00:06:23,505 --> 00:06:27,646
It is true that many of my heroes have
taken students under their wings:

127
00:06:27,662 --> 00:06:31,303
Feynman, Einstein,
Professor X.

128
00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:34,877
Humorously, in the
case of Professor X,

129
00:06:34,884 --> 00:06:37,468
some of his students
actually had wings.

130
00:06:37,491 --> 00:06:39,259
That's rich.

131
00:06:40,594 --> 00:06:45,769
I'll use that one to lighten the mood
after my entire class fails the midterm.

132
00:06:49,565 --> 00:06:52,598
Measuring starfish serotonin
levels in response

133
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:56,952
to one point two molar
stimulation of pleasure cells.

134
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,468
You like that, don't you?

135
00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:02,932
That's right, say my name.

136
00:07:07,749 --> 00:07:08,624
Hey.

137
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:11,015
- Hey, what's going on?
- Not much.

138
00:07:11,037 --> 00:07:13,529
You want to get a drink later?
Just the two of us?

139
00:07:13,544 --> 00:07:15,107
- No Penny?
- Not tonight.

140
00:07:15,122 --> 00:07:16,888
I'm a little
frustrated with her.

141
00:07:16,906 --> 00:07:18,478
Because you got her
the job and you think

142
00:07:18,501 --> 00:07:20,838
she should be working
harder to prepare for it?

143
00:07:20,862 --> 00:07:23,660
So it's not just me.
You see it, too!

144
00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:27,608
I do, I see it.

145
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,139
It's driving me crazy.

146
00:07:30,161 --> 00:07:32,169
Just this afternoon,
I saw on Instagram

147
00:07:32,184 --> 00:07:36,435
that instead of studying, she went
out to lunch and got a manicure.

148
00:07:37,226 --> 00:07:39,731
That's outrageous!

149
00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:40,966
I know!

150
00:07:40,981 --> 00:07:44,809
If she doesn't do well, Th-this
could reflect poorly on you.

151
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,204
Exactly. Does she not realize
it or does she not care?

152
00:07:48,212 --> 00:07:49,610
I don't know.

153
00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:51,986
The important thing
is I am here for you

154
00:07:52,017 --> 00:07:56,152
so we can mutually disparage
this unpleasing third party.

155
00:08:02,138 --> 00:08:06,560
Hey. We just wanted to see how your
class was going. Where is everybody?

156
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,189
There is no class.

157
00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:11,302
Did you send everyone to the
principal's office already?

158
00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:14,989
No one signed up.

159
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:17,005
Well, that's not
your fault.

160
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,710
I called the department
secretary to see what happened.

161
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,963
Apparently, I have a reputation
for being obnoxious.

162
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:26,914
What?

163
00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:30,256
Hey, Sheldon, I'm sorry.

164
00:08:30,279 --> 00:08:33,154
No, it's fine.

165
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,929
Now I can devote all my
time to dark matter.

166
00:08:36,952 --> 00:08:38,797
Aw, you brought
cookies for everyone?

167
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,898
Oh, yes. Fig Newtons.

168
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,703
I was going to ask them:
Which scientist both helped

169
00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:47,429
to develop calculus and had a
famous cookie named after him?

170
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:51,229
And then after someone said "Newton," I
was going to tell them they're wrong.

171
00:08:52,256 --> 00:08:55,317
The cookies are named after
a town in Massachusetts.

172
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,374
And then I'd throw
the cookies away.

173
00:09:00,224 --> 00:09:02,558
Hey, what if I
took your class?

174
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:04,928
Why would you do that?

175
00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:07,192
- Yeah, why would you do that?
- What's wrong with you?

176
00:09:08,144 --> 00:09:11,519
I'm thinking about getting my doctorate,
and he wants to teach-- why not?

177
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,433
Oh, Howard.

178
00:09:13,464 --> 00:09:18,151
I appreciate the gesture, but this
is a graduate-level physics class.

179
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:23,876
I don't think you'd understand a
single thing I was talking about.

180
00:09:25,229 --> 00:09:27,723
Ask why not again;
I've got an answer.

181
00:09:28,521 --> 00:09:32,273
Sheldon, I'm more than smart
enough to take your class.

182
00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:35,574
No.

183
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,030
Yes.

184
00:09:40,085 --> 00:09:42,245
How would you determine
the ground state

185
00:09:42,276 --> 00:09:45,253
of a quantum system
with no exact solution?

186
00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:47,684
I would guess a wave-function
and then vary its parameters

187
00:09:47,715 --> 00:09:50,207
until I found the
lowest energy solution.

188
00:09:50,229 --> 00:09:51,576
Hmm.

189
00:09:52,694 --> 00:09:55,503
Do you know how to integrate
X squared times E

190
00:09:55,518 --> 00:09:58,183
to the minus X, without
looking it up?

191
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,386
I'd use Feynman's trick-- differentiate
under the integral sign.

192
00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:03,392
Okay.

193
00:10:04,242 --> 00:10:05,805
Um...

194
00:10:05,828 --> 00:10:09,623
What is the correct interpretation
of quantum mechanics?

195
00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:11,743
Since every interpretation
gives exactly the same answer

196
00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:13,584
to every measurement, they
are all equally correct.

197
00:10:13,599 --> 00:10:15,873
However, I know you believe in
the Many Worlds Interpretation,

198
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:18,888
so I'll say that. Now do you
think I'm smart enough?

199
00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,842
No.

200
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:27,019
Oh, come on. You
might've gone to school

201
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:28,906
for a couple more years
than me, but guess what--

202
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,424
engineers are just as
smart as physicists.

203
00:10:31,446 --> 00:10:33,073
You take that back!

204
00:10:36,698 --> 00:10:38,649
No.

205
00:10:44,449 --> 00:10:45,899
So, after drinks
with Bernadette,

206
00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:48,917
I get home, and Penny calls
to complain about her.

207
00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:51,443
And then while I'm talking to Penny,
I get a text from Bernadette.

208
00:10:51,465 --> 00:10:54,540
Wh... I'm trying to prepare
my lesson plan for Howard.

209
00:10:54,556 --> 00:10:56,385
Why are you
telling me this?

210
00:10:57,493 --> 00:11:01,438
Because it's taken 15 years, but
high school is finally awesome!

211
00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:09,183
I love them both, but I'm in the
center now, and I love that even more.

212
00:11:09,213 --> 00:11:11,895
Amy, please. I am trying
to figure out a way

213
00:11:11,918 --> 00:11:15,423
to intellectually emasculate
a dear friend of mine.

214
00:11:16,353 --> 00:11:18,580
- But I'm just...
- Not now.

215
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:22,184
You better watch that attitude, buddy.
You're dating the popular girl now.

216
00:11:26,802 --> 00:11:28,311
Hmm. You're up late.

217
00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:30,973
Oh, I'm working on my
lesson plan for Wolowitz.

218
00:11:30,995 --> 00:11:32,805
He is going to be so lost.

219
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,927
Look at this
section over here.

220
00:11:35,942 --> 00:11:38,029
Even I don't really
understand it.

221
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:42,478
Sheldon, why are
you doing this?

222
00:11:42,497 --> 00:11:44,771
I'm a teacher, Leonard.
It's my job.

223
00:11:46,325 --> 00:11:48,629
No, I-I mean, why are you
going to so much trouble

224
00:11:48,652 --> 00:11:50,537
to prove that you're
smarter than Wolowitz?

225
00:11:50,561 --> 00:11:53,483
Oh, it's no trouble; It's
actually a pleasure.

226
00:11:55,042 --> 00:11:56,745
You want to know
what I think?

227
00:11:56,768 --> 00:11:59,814
I think the idea that someone
could be as smart as you,

228
00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:04,580
or even smarter, scares the pants off
you, and you can't deal with it.

229
00:12:06,197 --> 00:12:08,260
Interesting point.

230
00:12:08,283 --> 00:12:12,209
Wh... You're suggesting that I have
emotional issues below my consciousness

231
00:12:12,239 --> 00:12:13,873
which drive my behavior,

232
00:12:13,902 --> 00:12:16,920
thus causing me to lash
out at anything or anyone

233
00:12:16,943 --> 00:12:19,757
that threatens my
intellectual superiority.

234
00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,442
Might be something
to think about.

235
00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:26,110
- Leonard?
- Yeah.

236
00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:29,592
Howard's allergic to peanuts.
How can I use that against him?

237
00:12:34,499 --> 00:12:35,483
Hey.

238
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:38,834
Okay, now that everyone's
here, we can begin.

239
00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:43,624
Before we do, I just
talked to Leonard.

240
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,430
And if you're gonna spend all
your time trying to belittle me

241
00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:52,305
by making this class unnecessarily
hard, then I'm out.

242
00:12:52,328 --> 00:12:56,133
But if you're interested in making a
sincere effort to be a good teacher,

243
00:12:56,164 --> 00:12:59,530
then I'm willing to
give this a shot.

244
00:13:01,707 --> 00:13:04,168
I suppose that's
a fair request.

245
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:08,364
There's no reason we both can't
benefit from this experience.

246
00:13:08,379 --> 00:13:10,504
- Okay.
- Okay.

247
00:13:11,851 --> 00:13:13,414
Well, then, uh,
first things first.

248
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,906
Um, are you familiar with the
Brachistochrone problem?

249
00:13:16,949 --> 00:13:18,183
- I am.
- Good.

250
00:13:18,205 --> 00:13:20,690
And how it relates to the
calculus of variations?

251
00:13:20,721 --> 00:13:23,190
- It's an inverted cycloid.
- Wonderful.

252
00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:25,512
Now, what about
Euler-Lagrange theorems?

253
00:13:25,535 --> 00:13:29,091
- That's where I'm a little fuzzy.
- Ha! I knew it! All right.

254
00:13:30,239 --> 00:13:33,830
We have a lot of information to
cover before your first test.

255
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:36,416
Which, by the way,
is in eight minutes.

256
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:38,791
The good news is I'm
grading on a curve,

257
00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:41,353
so you're pretty
much guaranteed a C.

258
00:13:41,593 --> 00:13:43,594
♪ All I do is
win, win, win ♪

259
00:13:43,609 --> 00:13:45,484
- ♪ No matter what ♪
- What are you doing?

260
00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:47,984
♪ Everybody hands go up, up... ♪

261
00:13:48,023 --> 00:13:49,883
♪ And they stay there! ♪

262
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,032
What are you doing?

263
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,838
If you're gonna be a crappy teacher,
then I'm gonna be a crappy student.

264
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:56,684
♪ Ludacris going
in on the verse ♪

265
00:13:56,722 --> 00:13:59,936
- ♪ 'Cause I never been defeated and I
won't stop now... ♪ - Will you stop it!

266
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,308
This is a classroom. This
is not <i> American Bandstand.</i>

267
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:06,449
Okay. Now, where was I?

268
00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:09,618
Let's see. Oh, yes.
Over here. You...

269
00:14:10,954 --> 00:14:14,415
- What are you doing now?
- Making a straw.

270
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,384
Why?

271
00:14:15,409 --> 00:14:18,760
So I can shoot you
with a spitball.

272
00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:22,585
You're not going to do that,
and I'll tell you why.

273
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:24,909
This is an institution
of higher learning,

274
00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:28,063
I am your professor, and you're
going to treat me with the prop...

275
00:14:33,825 --> 00:14:36,308
You shot your
spit in my mouth!

276
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,778
Is that gonna be on the test? Because
I don't think I can do that again.

277
00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:46,671
Hey, girlfriend.

278
00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:48,889
Can I get a what what?

279
00:14:50,049 --> 00:14:51,526
What?

280
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:53,499
Close enough.

281
00:14:53,514 --> 00:14:56,436
Um, I was just calling to see
what you were up tonight.

282
00:14:56,452 --> 00:14:58,458
Thought maybe we could
hit up Color Me Mine,

283
00:14:58,489 --> 00:15:01,292
maybe sneak in some Pinot Greej.
Whatevs.

284
00:15:02,091 --> 00:15:03,745
Uh, thanks, but I think
I'm gonna stay in

285
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:05,846
and go over the stuff
Bernadette gave me.

286
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:10,225
Oh. Oh, I hear you. Try and get
that nag off your back, right?

287
00:15:10,842 --> 00:15:14,576
I mean, you're not a bicycle;
Why's she riding you like that?

288
00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:17,297
No, I think she was
just trying to help.

289
00:15:17,312 --> 00:15:19,602
Plus, I really want to do
well at this job. So...

290
00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:21,696
Okay, good luck.
And call me later,

291
00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:24,772
you know, if you decide
she's a bitch or something.

292
00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:32,648
- Hey, girlfriend.
- Hey, Amy.

293
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:34,734
Tonight. You, me,
Color Me Mine.

294
00:15:34,757 --> 00:15:38,473
Maybe we sneak in some Pinot--
make it Color Me<i> Wine.</i>

295
00:15:39,584 --> 00:15:42,787
That sounds fun, but I promised Penny
I'd come by and help her study.

296
00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:45,304
Oh. Well, good luck
getting her to do that.

297
00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:48,358
She's probably off getting
another manicure.

298
00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:51,107
You remember when she did that?
You remember?

299
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:55,620
I was probably being too hard on her.
We talked, we're good.

300
00:15:55,648 --> 00:15:58,578
Oh. Great. I'm happy
for you guys.

301
00:15:58,608 --> 00:16:00,468
You know, when the two of
you aren't getting along,

302
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:02,843
it puts me in a really
weird position.

303
00:16:03,624 --> 00:16:05,765
Well, don't worry--
everything's back to normal.

304
00:16:05,788 --> 00:16:08,884
You mean, like, where she's nice
to your face? Okay got it. Bye.

305
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:14,939
Hey, boyfriend.

306
00:16:14,962 --> 00:16:17,787
Can't talk. Spitball.
Probably gonna die.

307
00:16:25,576 --> 00:16:26,397
Well?

308
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:30,988
Sheldon, I-I promise. Your
uvula does not have an STD.

309
00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:35,256
Are you sure?

310
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:38,449
It just doesn't feel as
innocent as it used to.

311
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,376
You reported me to
human resources?

312
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:47,387
You violated the
sanctity of my mouth.

313
00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,937
Well, I dropped your class,
so I hope you're happy.

314
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,196
I told you you weren't
smart enough to take it.

315
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:54,682
I'm smart enough, Sheldon.

316
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,824
Asking me a bunch of questions about
a topic I'm not familiar with

317
00:16:56,838 --> 00:16:58,964
doesn't prove anything. I
could do the same to you.

318
00:16:58,995 --> 00:17:01,113
Yeah... Try me.

319
00:17:01,148 --> 00:17:02,742
Okay.

320
00:17:02,765 --> 00:17:06,507
You enjoy making fun of
engineering so much;

321
00:17:06,531 --> 00:17:09,851
How do you quantify the
strength of materials?

322
00:17:09,866 --> 00:17:12,070
Young's modulus.

323
00:17:12,106 --> 00:17:14,248
- Is that right?
- Yeah.

324
00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:20,608
Okay, how do you prevent eddy
currents in a transformer?

325
00:17:20,638 --> 00:17:23,499
- Laminate the core material.
- Come on, give him a hard one.

326
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,187
That <i>was</i> a hard one.

327
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:27,903
All right.

328
00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:32,086
How does the flow rate in a
pipe depend on its diameter?

329
00:17:33,376 --> 00:17:36,345
You don't know, do you?

330
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,573
What's the matter,
smart guy?

331
00:17:39,613 --> 00:17:41,584
Don't know
Poiseuille's law?

332
00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:50,553
Thank goodness I got it!

333
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,203
Now I can quit
checking my stool.

334
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:04,730
Okay, what are the potential side effects
for our erectile dysfunction drug?

335
00:18:04,753 --> 00:18:07,464
Headaches, dizziness
and nausea.

336
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:08,425
Yes.

337
00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:11,676
Those are also the side effects of having
a 75-year-old man with an erection

338
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,353
climb on top of you.

339
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,896
- Want to stop here?
- Uh, no. I can keep going.

340
00:18:16,919 --> 00:18:18,083
Nah, you got this.

341
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,528
Let's go for a drink.
I'll call Amy.

342
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,488
Okay, good. She seemed like she
really wanted to go out tonight.

343
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:30,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

344
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:33,390
Hey, girl.

345
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,786
Okay, next question,
for the Butterfinger:

346
00:18:42,819 --> 00:18:46,421
- How long is a galactic year?
- 250 million years!

347
00:18:46,455 --> 00:18:48,268
Yes!

348
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:54,133
Okay, this one is for
a Cadbury Creme Egg.

349
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:57,788
It's not even Easter time.
This is crazy!

350
00:18:59,694 --> 00:19:03,796
Which Archimedean solid has
20 regular triangular faces,

351
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:10,308
30 square faces, 12 pentagonal
faces, 60 vertices and 120 edges?

352
00:19:10,329 --> 00:19:12,300
The
Rhombicosidodecahedron!

353
00:19:12,323 --> 00:19:14,175
Yes!

354
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,630
We are so smart!

355
00:19:17,653 --> 00:19:19,505
Why didn't girls like
us in high school?

356
00:19:19,528 --> 00:19:21,599
Because we were awkward and
weird and couldn't play sports!

357
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:23,427
Right again!

358
00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:30,595
== sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
<font color=#00FFFF>@elder_man</font>
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

358
00:19:31,305 --> 00:20:31,902
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