1
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:04,937
So, what are you
working on these days?
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,839
I'm studying
one-celled organisms
3
00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:08,040
to try and find
the neurochemicals
4
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,608
that lead to the feeling
of shame.
5
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,945
What would a one-celled organism
have to be embarrassed about?
6
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:16,281
Same as all of us, getting out
of a car without underwear.
7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,118
Speaking of underwear,
8
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,953
I have some interesting news...
9
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:23,122
Okay, if it's
sometimes Howie wears yours,
10
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,123
Leonard already told us.
11
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,527
He was being funny.
12
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,095
I'm pretty sure.
13
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:35,067
Anyway, I was asked to be
a part of a magazine article
14
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,970
about the 50 sexiest female
scientists in California.
15
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,171
Isn't that cool?
16
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,839
I think it's awful.
17
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,141
Why would you say that?
18
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,144
Bernadette is a
successful microbiologist.
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,880
She should be celebrated for
her achievements, not her looks.
20
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,715
I mean, what kind of message
does that send?
21
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:53,218
I think the message is-- "check
out the rack on that scientist."
22
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,857
Why can't someone be thought
of as both smart and pretty?
23
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,260
I just don't think
a professional woman should have
24
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,029
to flaunt her sexuality
in order to get ahead.
25
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,330
Okay, what's the big deal?
26
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,066
Look, if it helps me make
a sale with a physician,
27
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,200
I don't think it hurts
to flirt a little.
28
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,036
I mean, laugh at their joke,
touch their arm,
29
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,173
maybe crank up the AC
in the car beforehand, you know,
30
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,241
to wake up the girls.
31
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,878
Maybe it's different
in the world of sales,
32
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,046
but it's already hard enough
33
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,215
for women to be taken seriously
in science.
34
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,717
I was kind of excited
about the article,
35
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,453
but now you're making me
feel bad.
36
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:30,055
No, I think you should do
whatever you want.
37
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,590
You know, maybe
if fashion magazines had
38
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,758
female scientists
in them,
39
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,593
I would've become
a theoretical physicist.
40
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,130
Stop smirking
at each other.
41
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:43,869
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
42
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:47,239
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
43
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,807
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
44
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,443
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
45
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,079
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
46
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,715
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
47
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,584
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
48
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,185
♪ Bang! ♪
49
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,627
(door rattles)
50
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,295
(knocking on the door)
51
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,068
Thank you.
52
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,103
No, thank you.
53
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,906
Delivery men are
the unsung foot soldiers
54
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,174
of our nation's commerce.
55
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:25,110
It's because
of people like you,
56
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,647
people like me can limit
our human contact.
57
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,383
I'd shake your hand,
but, well, you know.
58
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,021
I'm not a delivery man,
I-I'm a doctor.
59
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:37,756
Although I do
often deliver
60
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,926
alarming biopsy results
to my patients.
61
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,864
That's humorous.
62
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,933
All right.
63
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,905
Yeah, I-I bet you leave
your patients in stitches.
64
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,044
That was
also humorous.
65
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,712
All right.
66
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,950
Are you bringing
flowers to a patient
67
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,719
to cushion the blow of
a terminal diagnosis?
68
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,788
(laughs)
69
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,195
That wasn't a joke.
70
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,164
All right.
71
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,066
These are actually
for a nice woman
72
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,135
who makes sales
calls to my office.
73
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:25,137
Hmm.
74
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:26,171
You know, they have
delivery people
75
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,340
that will do that
for you.
76
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:31,243
I was hoping
to impress her
77
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,878
by tracking her down
on the Internet
78
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,380
and then showing up
unannounced at her door.
79
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,484
Making the extra effort.
80
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,253
Good for you.
81
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,064
Great timing,
food just got here.
82
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,665
Ooh, Siam Palace?
Yes.
83
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,867
Uh, mee krob and chicken satay?
Yes.
84
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,769
Uh, extra peanut sauce?
No, but you can have mine.
85
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,271
Eh, well, very well.
86
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:04,610
Oh, and on the topic of
sharing things that are yours,
87
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,245
there is a
gentleman caller
88
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,714
bringing flowers
to your fiancée as we speak.
89
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,216
What?
90
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:14,286
Why didn't you say that first?
91
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,855
Why didn't you get
extra peanut sauce?
92
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,924
We can both play this game.
93
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,260
Can I help you?
94
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,461
Oh, hi.
95
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,263
Uh, does Penny live here?
96
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,398
May I ask why?
97
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,634
Well, uh...
98
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,103
I-I met her at my office,
she winked at me.
99
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,170
And, uh...
100
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:38,377
I-I came hoping to initiate
a romantic relationship.
101
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,080
Okay, um...
102
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,316
Look, I'm pretty sure
she didn't wink at you.
103
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,318
Oh, she did.
104
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:49,288
Seductively, like this.
105
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,961
And then she touched my arm
for two Mississippis.
106
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,496
Like, you know,
one Mississippi, two...
107
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,432
I got it, I got it.
108
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,601
Listen, um...
109
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,337
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
110
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,272
See, Penny is my fiancée.
111
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,508
Really?
112
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,412
I've never seen her wear
an engagement ring.
113
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,148
WOLOWITZ AND KOOTHRAPPALI:
Really?
114
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,287
So, am I to presume
115
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:25,324
that her flirtation was
just a sales technique?
116
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,125
I think so.
117
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,995
When will I learn?
118
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:34,199
It's just like the cute girl
at the pet store all over again.
119
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,034
Excuse me?
120
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:40,205
Oh, uh, she touched my arm
for five Mississippis,
121
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,041
and I bought
a $2,000 iguana habitat.
122
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:49,181
Which she was always too busy
to come over and see.
123
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,018
You give these to Penny.
124
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,087
You're, you're a lucky man.
125
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,123
Thank you.
126
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,157
Sorry.
127
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,859
Oh, uh...
128
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,828
You probably don't want her
to see this.
129
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,863
It's unnecessarily graphic.
130
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,067
Hold on, Doctor.
131
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,036
Leonard, where are
your social skills?
132
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,005
This man is
clearly upset.
133
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:17,275
We should invite him
in for a hot beverage.
134
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,213
He tried to score with Penny.
135
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:25,450
So have these two, and they're
having dinner with us.
136
00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,391
So, how was
work today?
137
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,326
It was fine,
but you'll be happy to know
138
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:36,495
they pulled
the sexy scientists article.
139
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,763
What happened?
140
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,997
I don't know.
141
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,899
They just canceled
the photo shoot
142
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,067
and said they're rethinking it.
143
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,436
Well, I'm
really sorry,
144
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,438
but I think it's
for the best.
145
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,940
You want people focusing
on your achievements,
146
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,376
not staring at your
breasts in some magazine.
147
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,544
I guess.
148
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,912
It's really not that important.
149
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,015
Hey, up here.
150
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,586
Sorry, we're...
we were talking about them.
151
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:06,925
So, look, I-I wasn't going
to say anything,
152
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,561
but since you seem to be okay
with the article being canceled,
153
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,595
I have a little confession.
154
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:13,064
I'm the reason it was pulled.
155
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,933
What? How?
156
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,102
I sent the editors
of the magazine
157
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,737
a pretty scathing e-mail.
158
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,539
Amy, what did you say?
159
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,407
I simply pointed out
160
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,109
that they would never consider
doing an article
161
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,478
ranking male scientists
on their sexuality,
162
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,414
let alone showing them
in various stages of undress.
163
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,483
Because no one wants to see
Neil deGrasse Tyson
164
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,886
in a wet T-shirt,
bent over the hood of a Porsche.
165
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,256
Well, it doesn't
make a difference,
166
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,492
because they agreed it was
in bad taste,
167
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,228
and now you agree, so...
168
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,497
Amy saves the day.
169
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:48,400
No, what happened was
you got jealous,
170
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,735
so you took away a chance
for me to get some publicity.
171
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,604
But it was bad publicity.
172
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,739
That's for me to decide,
not you.
173
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,675
I disagree.
174
00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:00,479
As a female scientist, I think
what you do affects all of us.
175
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:01,980
And I think
you don't like people
176
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,114
expressing their sexuality
177
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,716
because no one wants you
to express yours.
178
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,653
Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry.
179
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,288
That was over the line.
180
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,491
You have a nice night.
181
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:13,825
Please don't go.
182
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,728
Up until my vicious attack,
you were the one in the wrong.
183
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,200
Here you go, Doctor.
184
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,936
Red Zinger
with one teaspoon of honey.
185
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:25,937
Thank you.
186
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,173
Neat Star Trek mug.
187
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,641
I actually have
one of the phasers
188
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,809
from the original TV show.
189
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,444
Oh, cool.
190
00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:33,612
How'd you get that?
191
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:37,048
Oh, easy, Gene Roddenberry
needed a vasectomy.
192
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,885
Wait a minute.
193
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,821
You've snipped
Gene Roddenberry's vas deferens?
194
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,523
Yes.
195
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:48,059
Wow, he really went
where no man has gone before.
196
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,798
I don't like to brag,
but, uh, you see,
197
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:59,137
I'm kind of the doctor
to the stars' urinary tracts.
198
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,407
ALL:
Wow.
199
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,278
Uh, you, you want to see
James Cameron's kidney stone?
200
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,651
ALL:
Ooh.
201
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:16,555
He was so happy after he passed
it, he gave me a Terminator.
202
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,491
That is amazing.
203
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:20,926
How long have
you been collecting?
204
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,661
Ever since I was a kid,
205
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,696
but, uh, I didn't really
get serious
206
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,498
until William Shatner's
bladder infection.
207
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,035
What'd you get?
What'd you get?
208
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,771
Well, he said it was a tribble.
209
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,005
It could be a toupee,
210
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,007
but either way,
it's pretty cool.
211
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,678
I-I would love to
see your collection.
212
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,446
Anytime.
213
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,581
Uh, I've got some cool stuff.
214
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,249
When I first started,
215
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,217
I thought it would be
a good way to meet women,
216
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:49,220
but, well, you know...
217
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,790
Sure.
Preach.
SHELDON: We know.
218
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:55,060
Can I ask you
a personal question?
219
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,395
Sure.
220
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:01,066
Um, I mean,
you're a guy like me,
221
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,602
so how'd you get
a girl like Penny?
222
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,403
Oh.
223
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,906
Well, you know, just...
(sniffs)
224
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,642
being myself, really.
225
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:11,576
Oh, please!
226
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,244
You know, I'll tell you
how he did it.
227
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,947
Implacable,
relentless badgering.
228
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,050
In urology terms,
229
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,786
he was a drug-resistant
staph infection.
230
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,657
And she was a urethra
that could not shake him.
231
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:31,429
I don't know that I'd call
myself an infection.
232
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,498
A gallant man would
defend his fiancée
233
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,467
for being called a urethra.
234
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,903
Can we please
change the subject?
235
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,005
Hi.
236
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,073
Well, that didn't
go your way.
237
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:47,145
Dr. Lorvis,
what are you doing here?
238
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:50,015
Uh, well, actually
I came to see you.
239
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,516
Really? Why?
240
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,619
Ah, that's a good question.
241
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,689
Apparently someone was
being awfully flirty
242
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,257
while not wearing
their engagement ring,
243
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,625
causing another
someone to show up
244
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,627
here thinking the first
someone might be available.
245
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,796
Oh, God. Don't make it
so hard on her.
246
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,766
Look, the first someone
is the deceitful you.
247
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,334
The second someone
248
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,804
is the delightful
Dr. Lorvis.
249
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,272
Oh, this is very embarrassing.
250
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,274
Dr. Lorvis, I am so sorry.
251
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,343
I did not mean to lead you on.
252
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,613
You touched my arm
for two Mississippis.
253
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:22,881
Oh.
254
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,618
That's why you were
mumbling "Mississippi."
255
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,186
Can we talk in private?
256
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:28,953
Please, yes.
257
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,022
I'll be right back.
258
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,792
So what other
259
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,795
celebrity genitalia
have you handled?
260
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,664
So, uh, what's the deal?
261
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,700
You take off your ring
when you go to work?
262
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,134
What? No! No!
263
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,836
I just put it
on the other hand and...
264
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,405
turn it around.
265
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,841
Keep that hand in my pocket.
266
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,242
Why?
267
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,343
Well, what do you mean why?
268
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,344
Look, I make more sales
269
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,813
if these doctors
think I'm single.
270
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,314
I did the same kind of
thing as a waitress.
271
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,250
The real question is, what is
he doing in your apartment?
272
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,552
Oh, he was upset.
273
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:04,055
So Sheldon invited him
in for a hot beverage.
274
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,390
You were okay with that?
275
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,391
No. I got upset!
276
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,561
And Sheldon made me
a beverage, too.
277
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,596
Okay, he just
showed up at my door.
278
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:12,897
Don't you think
that's a little weird?
279
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,667
A little, but... he's
basically harmless.
280
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:17,602
He's actually kind
of a nice guy.
Okay.
281
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,270
Whatever, look,
my company does not allow me
282
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,839
to socialize with doctors
outside of work.
283
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:21,906
You got to get rid of him.
284
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,509
Why am I the one that
has to get rid of him?
285
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,711
I can't do it!
He's my best client!
286
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,847
All right, I'll
get rid of him.
287
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,749
But you owe me one.
288
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,017
Hey, we're going to Oliver's
house to see his collection.
289
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,018
You want to go with us?
290
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,920
Yeah, sure.
291
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,757
You owe me.
292
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,499
(buzzing, beeping and whirring)
293
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,203
Oh, my God!
294
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,974
Leonard, I was wrong.
295
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,476
Heaven does exist.
296
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,912
And it's in the basement
of a urologist's house
297
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,280
in Sherman Oaks.
298
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,485
Welcome to
my Fortress of Solitude.
299
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,221
This is where I go
to get away from...
300
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,891
all my other solitude.
301
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,494
Oh, come on.
It's a replica.
302
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,062
Original.
303
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:21,966
Oh, I think I just
cheated on my wife.
304
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,837
The gun from Hellboy?
305
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,105
Yup.
306
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,306
How did you get it?
307
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,507
Bought it at auction.
308
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,810
Oh, I was hoping
for a juicy tidbit
309
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,746
about Ron Perlman's testicles.
310
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:38,416
WOMAN:
Oliver! I'm going to play bingo!
311
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,285
Okay, Mother. Have fun.
312
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,619
Still lives with his mom.
313
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:44,422
Yikes, right?
(laughs)
314
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,992
Yeah, I'm not quite
sure how to respond.
315
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,796
Wow, Donkey Kong!
316
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,965
This-this was my game
when I was a kid!
317
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:54,766
Because it's a story
318
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,768
of a pretty blonde girl
319
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,004
tirelessly pursued
by a small, oddly-shaped man?
320
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,843
No, because I liked it.
321
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,811
Well, now, don't get defensive.
322
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:09,447
You're oddly-shaped,
but you got the girl.
323
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,485
So, I've noticed Leonard
gets teased a lot
324
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,820
about his relationship
with Penny.
325
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,356
Yes. If you'd like to join in,
326
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,626
the premise is their love seems
unlikely and doomed to failure.
327
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,830
So, you think
she'll be single soon?
328
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,032
Oh, if you want
to get in on the pool,
329
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,467
you're too late...
330
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,269
All the squares
have been purchased.
331
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,038
Interesting.
332
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,107
Excuse me, I have to
take care of something.
333
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,219
Leonard, as your friend I feel
334
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,855
I should tell you something.
What?
335
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:53,157
I'm still upset
about that peanut sauce.
336
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,396
Oh, could you
hold the door?
337
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,598
Nice flowers.
Thank you.
338
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,033
They're for a girl.
339
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,937
Uh, I'm being implacable
and relentless.
340
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,774
Isn't she lucky?
341
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,910
She keeps sending me
mixed signals.
342
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,078
But I-I think we both
want the same thing.
343
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,446
What's that?
344
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,283
Unconditional love.
345
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,951
I guess that's
all anybody wants.
346
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,619
I guess so.
347
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,756
Well, I hope you get it.
348
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,158
One Mississippi,
two Mississippi.
349
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,035
Next game,
let's switch helmets.
350
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,038
No, I'd look silly
in that helmet.
351
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,577
I-I can't take these.
352
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,613
Well, why not?
353
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,948
I mean, you want what I want.
354
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:53,017
And we had
two wonderful Mississippis.
355
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,121
But what about
the other girl?
356
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,957
Oh, right.
(stammers)
357
00:15:58,959 --> 00:15:59,958
I'll tell her
358
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,026
we should just be friends.
359
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,167
Dr. Lorvis?
360
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,569
Penny, we should
just be friends.
361
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,373
Happy?
362
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,918
You think he bites?
363
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,922
Stick your hand in there
and find out.
364
00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:33,091
You fooled me with that
goat at the petting zoo.
365
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:36,761
You will not fool me again.
366
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,629
I wonder where Dr. Lorvis is.
367
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,931
He's been gone a while.
368
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:43,301
Maybe he's playing
bingo with his mommy.
369
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,370
It's sad how some guys
370
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,206
can't cut the apron strings.
371
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,209
Okay, now you're
messing with me.
372
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,113
Uh, guys, we're locked in here.
373
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,050
Oh, this day just
keeps getting better!
374
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:06,057
So, you just left them alone
playing games in your house?
375
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,059
Well, they seemed happy and...
376
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,061
I thought
that would give me time
377
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,930
for you and I to get
to know each other better.
378
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:18,369
That was before we met.
379
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,407
We all have a past.
380
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,142
Doc, you've got to see what
you're doing
381
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,044
is-is a little creepy.
382
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,345
You sound just
like Sigourney Weaver
383
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,081
when I followed her
into a restroom.
384
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,184
Okay, you can't
just go chasing after
385
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,086
every girl who's nice to you.
386
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,888
Well, that's not
what Sheldon says.
387
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,991
And he seems to know
his way around the ladies.
388
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,728
(cell phone ringing)
389
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,664
Hey, Leonard. Guess who's back!
Dr. Lorvis!
390
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,000
Yeah. You care to join us?
391
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,201
What?!
392
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:51,803
You locked them
in your basement?!
393
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,073
Well, they're,
they're not locked in.
394
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,607
The door just sticks.
395
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,843
Okay, so how do they unstick it?
396
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,679
They'd need the key.
397
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,550
PENNY:
Okay.
398
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:06,584
Nope. That's it.
399
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,386
We are gonna go
over there right now.
400
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,621
And you are going
to let them out.
401
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,223
Three Mississippi,
four Mississippi...
402
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:15,126
Move it!
403
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,897
Oh, good, you're here.
404
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,766
Amy, I am so sorry.
405
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,401
That has to wait.
This weirdo locked
406
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,436
the guys up in his basement.
What?!
407
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,105
She seems nice. Who's she?
Just walk.
408
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,248
SHELDON:
You can do this.
409
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,484
One ladder left!
410
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,319
Oh-ho! Yeah!
Yes!
411
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,620
Next level!
412
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,655
Leonard, are you okay?
Better than okay.
413
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,058
I am having the game of my life!
414
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,761
Dr. Lorvis, isn't there
something you want to say?
415
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,063
Yes.
416
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:54,165
I'm very sorry
for locking you in my home.
417
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,299
Yeah, that was very uncool.
418
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,300
Get the hammer!
Get the hammer!
419
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,335
Got it.
420
00:18:57,337 --> 00:19:00,505
(guys cheering)
421
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,140
Okay, Leonard, let's go!
422
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,275
J-Just hang on!
423
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,910
Well, while we wait,
424
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:09,313
would you like to see Tobey
Maguire's prostate sonogram?
425
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,582
Sure.
Yeah.
426
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,284
Oh, spoiler alert.
427
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,353
Uh, he was worried
about nothing.