1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,636
Hey, how are things going
with your parents?
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,306
Not great.
They hired divorce attorneys.
3
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,807
You know, speaking
of attorneys,
4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,210
if I ever needed
a lawyer,
5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,346
I would not hire
She-Hulk.
6
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,449
You know what?
That was almost on topic.
7
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,651
I'm gonna say,
"Good job, Sheldon."
8
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,654
Wait, She-Hulk's
a lawyer?
9
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,623
Yeah, she works at
a law firm in New York.
10
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,860
Yes, but she's the only
monster at the firm.
11
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,828
Between you, me
and the wall,
12
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:33,032
I think she's an
affirmative action hire.
13
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,502
Anyway, Dad's gonna
be here in town,
14
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,771
so I won't be able to do
Christmas dinner this year.
15
00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:40,773
If you're not up
to hosting Christmas dinner,
16
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:42,207
I'm happy to do it.
17
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,809
You can even
bring your father.
18
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,644
That would be nice.
19
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:46,645
I've always wanted to do
20
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,380
a traditional
Victorian Christmas.
21
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,383
Parlor games,
goose and figgy pudding...
22
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,752
Ugh!
23
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,654
English pudding.
24
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,356
Y-You get yourself all
excited for pudding,
25
00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,225
and here comes a cake
with raisins in it.
26
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,927
I'm not going.
27
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,295
You're going.
28
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,431
Why do you hate me?
29
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,765
I don't hate you.
30
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:07,766
I love you.
31
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,201
Well, you call it love,
32
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,936
but it has a lot
of raisins in it.
33
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,607
Amy, good luck getting
these guys excited
34
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,708
about a dinner
with a theme.
35
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:20,279
I gave up when no one cared
about my Tom Hanks-giving.
36
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,616
I think a Victorian Christmas
sounds nice.
37
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,417
I agree.
Why not?
38
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,585
Me, too.
39
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,587
You guys suck!
40
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,257
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
41
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,761
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
42
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,229
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
43
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,765
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
44
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,601
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
45
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,104
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
46
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,972
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
47
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,674
♪ Bang! ♪
48
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,684
You know the best part
of working in the clean room?
49
00:01:58,686 --> 00:01:59,751
No allergies.
50
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,220
Check it out.
51
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,222
(inhales deeply)
52
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,557
Oh, that-that...
that's a lot of oxygen.
53
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,410
(chuckles)
54
00:02:08,411 --> 00:02:09,527
We should get
going to Amy's.
55
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,363
Can you believe
there was a time
56
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,365
when we would have
needed an array
57
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,934
of giant Cherenkov telescopes
to detect cosmic particles?
58
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:19,104
And here we are building
our own multi-wire detector
59
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:22,007
like a couple of badasses.
60
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,009
I know. If we were still single,
61
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:27,479
we'd be tripping
over all that booty.
62
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,773
Ladies do love a man dressed
like a kitchen garbage bag.
63
00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:39,290
Oh, no.
64
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,261
How the hell
did a pigeon get in here?
65
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,263
You shut the loading
doors, right?
I thought you did.
66
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,265
Do you know what a
disaster this is?!
67
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,634
You mean 'cause this room isn't
supposed to have dust in it,
68
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,670
and we just let in
a flying crap machine?!
69
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,306
What do we do?
Should we call someone?
70
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:57,476
And tell them that we
compromised all the equipment?
71
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,678
Let's just get it out of
here before anyone knows.
72
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,346
Okay, how do we catch it?
73
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,415
Well, what if we turn
off all the lights
74
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,617
except for one, and
it'll come to it.
75
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,487
It's not a moth!
76
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,123
Don't yell at me.
77
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,258
You're not gonna get
any good ideas out of me
78
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:14,459
if you're yelling.
79
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,028
Okay, so if I remain calm,
80
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:19,031
I'll get more gems like,
"Turn off the lights"?!
81
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,499
Great, we're turning
on each other.
82
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,501
That's just what the
bird wants us to do!
83
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,507
So, Dr. Koothrappali,
long flight?
84
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,642
20 hours.
Oh, that's rough.
85
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,679
Not at all. Did you know that
when you fly transcontinental
86
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:37,115
without your wife, you don't
pray for the plane to crash?
87
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,787
Can you please talk
about anything else?
88
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,289
Forgive me.
89
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,257
How are you
and Leonard?
90
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,359
Oh, great.
Everything's good.
91
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,628
I see you got engaged.
Yes, we did.
92
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:50,696
Let me tell you a story.
93
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,297
Dad!
94
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,266
Sorry.
95
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,868
I'm sure you won't grow
to hate each other.
96
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,804
(ringtone playing)
97
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:03,242
Hey, Leonard. What's up?
98
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,278
What? How did that happen?
99
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,279
Yeah, okay.
100
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,214
I'll be there as soon as I can.
101
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,250
Sorry. I have to run
to the university.
102
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,284
What's going on?
103
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:15,220
There's been a problem
with our experiment.
104
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,089
A bird got into the clean room.
105
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,625
You want me
to come?
Uh, no.
106
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,994
You had a long flight.
You stay here and relax.
107
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,229
"Relax."
Easy for you to say.
108
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,765
Your mother isn't cleaning out
your bank account.
109
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:31,270
40 years,
the woman never cleaned a thing.
110
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,071
(quietly): You're just
gonna leave him here?
111
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,107
"Relax," he says.
Yup. Bye.
112
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,579
(singing along to music):
♪ Here comes Santa Claus,
here comes Santa Claus ♪
113
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,281
♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane ♪
114
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,916
♪ Vixen and Blitzen
and all his reindeer ♪
115
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,385
♪ Pulling on
the reins... ♪
116
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,819
Yeah, I appreciate the ride...
117
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,955
♪ Bells are ringing,
children singing ♪
118
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,624
♪ All is merry
and bright ♪
119
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,260
♪ So hang your stockings
and say your prayers ♪
120
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,196
(radio turns off)
♪ 'Cause Santa Claus
is coming tonight... ♪
121
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,465
Why'd you turn it off?
122
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,502
Because in the last ten minutes,
Santa came to town,
123
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:07,639
kissed Mommy and ran Grandma
over with a reindeer.
124
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,708
I had a drunk uncle
who did all those things.
125
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,110
Nobody sings songs about him.
126
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:15,447
Maybe you'd like it more if you
thought of Santa as a superhero
127
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,350
and his power is bringing joy
to children.
128
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,053
My uncle was accused
of that, too.
129
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:24,056
It turned out
to be legal in Oklahoma.
130
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:26,058
Okay, new subject.
131
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,793
Let's talk
about presents.
132
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,494
What did you get Amy?
133
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,296
Oh, we're not exchanging gifts.
134
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:34,266
Come on, Sheldon, you
have to get her something.
135
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,635
Why should I?
136
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,635
She knows
that I don't like Christmas,
137
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,439
and yet, every year,
she forces me to celebrate it.
138
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,475
Not only am I going to this
foolish dinner against my will.
139
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,111
At the Christmas tree lot,
there was mistletoe,
140
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,447
and she kissed me
under it in public.
141
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,249
Like we were the stars
of a Tijuana sex show.
142
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,253
She's just excited
about the holidays.
143
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:59,191
Yes, and she's not taking
my feelings into account at all.
144
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,593
Maybe it's time
I teach her a lesson.
145
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,261
How?
146
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:07,466
Hmm. It'd have
to be something heinous,
147
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,435
something that makes her
as miserable as she's making me.
148
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,105
Oh, I've got it.
149
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:14,239
(gasps)
150
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,275
This is good.
151
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,443
What?
152
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,580
I'm going to buy her a present.
153
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:25,584
Yeah, you're gonna
have to walk me through that.
154
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,886
With gift-giving, there's
an implied social contract.
155
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,421
If I show up
156
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,124
tonight with a present,
and she doesn't have one for me,
157
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,593
she'll feel terrible.
158
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:37,095
Then you're both sad?
159
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,331
Yes.
160
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,432
Maybe she'll feel so guilty,
161
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,801
she'll never make me celebrate
the holidays again.
162
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:47,506
So your evil plot here is to buy
your girlfriend a present?
163
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,441
That's right.
164
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,310
So stay on my good side, or I'll
get you a little something, too.
165
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,815
(cooing)
166
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,352
Okay, here's the plan.
167
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:02,621
I'm gonna put the food
in the bag,
168
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,824
and when he lands in the bag
to eat it, we close it up.
169
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,993
A Slim Jim?
170
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:10,712
It's all I could find.
It'll work.
171
00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:11,362
Sure.
172
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:12,764
If the pigeon's stoned
or a trucker.
173
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,068
Okay, well, what's your plan?
174
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,170
I told you my plan.
175
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,938
Let's call Building Services
and get help.
176
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,375
And admit that we contaminated
the clean room?
177
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:25,777
No, admit that you
contaminated the clean room.
178
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:28,046
Why do you keep assuming
it was me?
179
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,415
Because you do this kind
of thing all the time,
180
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,217
and then you try
to cover it up.
181
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,286
Like when?
(scoffs)
182
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,254
What about when you
flipped the Mars Rover,
183
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,190
or lost Koothrappali's dog,
184
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,592
or almost drove off
with that baby?
185
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:44,429
Again, it looked like my car,
and the baby didn't even cry
186
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,565
until his mother punched me
with her keys.
187
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,367
Fine, put the Slim Jim
in the garbage bag.
188
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,369
Well, what if you said it
189
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,404
without sounding
so condescending?
190
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,840
I can try, but your
plan has the words
191
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,842
"garbage bag" and
"Slim Jim" in it!
192
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,244
Hey, what's going on?
Oh.
193
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,612
Genius here wants
to catch a bird
194
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,280
with a garbage bag
and a Slim Jim.
195
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:10,288
Should have put it
in the bag first.
196
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,730
So, if you don't
mind me asking,
197
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,565
do you think you might
start dating again?
198
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,400
It's much too soon for that.
199
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,402
Why? Do you know someone?
200
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,439
No, but if things don't
work out with me and Leonard,
201
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:28,974
I'll give you a call.
202
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,810
Wait. How much do you talk
about Star Trek?
203
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:37,382
Okay, let's get this
Victorian party started.
204
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,550
I've done some research
205
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,819
about some traditional
parlor games we can play.
206
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,120
Like what?
207
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,610
Well, there's a fun one
called Ball of Wool.
208
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,727
You take a ball of wool,
209
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,397
and you put it right
in the center of the table.
210
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,331
Then people sit
211
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,733
on opposite sides of the table
212
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,768
and try to blow the wool off.
213
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,474
Sorry.
She's taken, too.
214
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,478
You know what I think
your problem is?
215
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,479
You're jealous
216
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:09,347
because you and I
used to be
217
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,983
best friends until
Koothrappali came along.
218
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,386
And you found somebody
you could push around?
219
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,520
Hey!
Stay out of this.
220
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:18,423
Okay.
221
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,525
You know, maybe I'm
best friends with Raj
222
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,561
because he doesn't think
he's smarter than me.
223
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,930
Actually...
I said, stay out of it!
224
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,532
N-No. No, Raj, go ahead,
say what you were gonna say.
225
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,934
All I'm gonna say is
226
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,936
you guys need
to stop this right now.
227
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,371
It-It's bad enough that
my parents are fighting,
228
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,507
now I have to hear
the two of you?
229
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:36,675
And who cares who's smarter?
230
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,410
If it's Leonard or me or...
231
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,745
you know, it's Christmas,
let's say it's Howard.
232
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,985
Well, if you're so smart,
you get the bird out.
233
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,219
No, you're the one
who let him in.
234
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,322
How do you know
it wasn't Leonard?
235
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:52,023
Come on.
236
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,529
What about that sweater?
237
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,331
No, it's not good enough.
238
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,533
It has to be perfect.
239
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,501
I think the nicest gifts
I've got from Howie
240
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,303
show how well
he knows me.
241
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,404
Hmm.
242
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,007
Let's see,
what do I know about Amy?
243
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,978
She loves medieval literature;
Chaucer's her favorite.
244
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:16,615
And her eyes sparkle when
she watches old French movies.
245
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,254
I enjoy how harp music causes
her fingers to dance
246
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,355
as if she's playing along.
247
00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:26,157
Wow, you really do love her.
248
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:28,660
I do.
249
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,863
Now, let's find
the kind of gift
250
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:35,100
that makes her feel
small and worthless.
251
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,430
You won!
252
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:10,602
Certainly doesn't
feel like it, does it?
253
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,538
You know, my wife used to throw
254
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,507
theme parties like this
all the time.
255
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,143
Oh, I guess that's
where Raj gets it from.
256
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,545
Well, he and his mother
spent a lot of time together
257
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,080
when he was young.
258
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,348
I was always working.
259
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,717
Hey, you know, Raj is dating
260
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,719
a doctor who works a lot.
(chuckles)
261
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,188
Him and his mom have a type.
262
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,358
You g... Y-You got to laugh
at that, right?
263
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,161
No? All right.
264
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,366
All right, let me see
if I've got this straight.
265
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,703
A picture of you on my lap
266
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,771
is a way to punish
your girlfriend
267
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,740
for making you
celebrate Christmas?
268
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,375
Correct.
269
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:54,212
Santa thinks dating you
may be punishment enough.
270
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,451
There's an argument
for that.
271
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,386
But I want to make sure.
272
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,120
Smile.
273
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,621
Ho, ho, ho!
274
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,130
Okay. On the
count of three,
275
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,499
I'll shoot the fire extinguisher
and get him airborne.
276
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,835
Howard, you wave the blanket
and guide him towards the exit.
277
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,870
Raj, you hold open the
curtain so he can fly out.
278
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,306
Are you sure a dummy
like me can handle something
279
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,341
as complicated
as a blanket?
280
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,543
Do you want the
fire extinguisher?
281
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,312
Yeah, I do.
Great.
282
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,313
Here you go.
283
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,348
Okay.
284
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,386
One, two, three.
285
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,391
Uh, you have to
take the pin out.
286
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,198
You miss the blanket now,
don't you?
287
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,202
On three.
288
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,404
One, two, three.
289
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,443
(splat)
290
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,882
What did you do?
291
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,850
It was an accident.
292
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,952
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
293
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,788
Relax, it wasn't your fault.
294
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,489
Uh, maybe it's just stunned.
295
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,258
Dude, i-it's not breathing.
296
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,294
Oh, no. I killed it.
297
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,263
Oh, not again.
298
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,366
What do you mean, not again?
299
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,336
When I was ten,
300
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,358
I was playing
in my backyard and...
301
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:31,275
sat on a blue jay.
302
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,413
I mean, I tried
to bring it back to life
303
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,383
with electricity, but it just...
304
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,251
caught on fire.
305
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,391
The worst part was
it smelled delicious.
306
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,128
Uh, guys, I found
an article here
307
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,330
that says you can do CPR
on birds.
308
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,631
Great! Do it!
309
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,466
I'm not doing it.
You killed him, you do it.
310
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,435
I'll do it.
No.
311
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,269
I need to do it.
312
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,238
This is on me.
313
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,277
Okay.
314
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,280
"Mouth over beak
and light chest compressions."
315
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,281
Don't blow too hard.
316
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,084
If you pop him, I will vomit.
317
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,521
Anything?
318
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,389
(raspy):
I am tasting a lot of Slim Jim.
319
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,324
(coughs)
320
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,729
Wait, wait, his wing moved!
321
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,664
Oh, he blinked his eyes!
He's alive!
322
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,366
It's a Christmas miracle!
323
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,869
I might argue a Hanukkah
miracle, but I'll take it.
324
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,538
Come on, little guy, let's get
you outside. Get the curtain.
325
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,908
(bird caws)
326
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:44,349
Someone should really
close that loading door.
327
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,057
Well, that's that.
328
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,659
The room's compromised.
329
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,494
They'll have to change
all the filters,
330
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,464
probably shut it down
for weeks.
331
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,200
You were right. Go ahead,
call Building Services.
332
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,370
Tell them it was my fault.
No, we're both to blame.
333
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:06,270
You know, let me take
the heat on this one.
334
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,438
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Yeah, just leave me out of it.
335
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,340
You know if they come here
and see crap everywhere,
336
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,676
they're just gonna
blame the Indian guy.
337
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,745
(ringtone playing)
338
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,616
Hey. I'm sorry,
we're still here.
339
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,218
Is everything okay?
340
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,452
It's kind of boring.
341
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,221
Although it did get exciting
for a minute
342
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,423
when Amy inhaled a wool ball.
343
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,326
How much longer
do you think you'll be?
344
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,427
I don't know.
345
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,662
There's still
a bird in here.
346
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,931
We are gonna get in
a ton of trouble.
347
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,899
Honey, it's Christmas Eve.
Who even knows you're in there?
348
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,901
No, our names are on
the sign-in sheet.
349
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,403
So erase them and walk out.
350
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,471
I can't do that.
351
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:41,472
Can't do what?
352
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,607
She says take our names
353
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,242
off the sign-in sheet
and leave.
354
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,411
(chuckles):
We can't do that.
Yeah.
355
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:52,283
ALL: ♪ Jingle bells, jingle
bells, jingle all the way ♪
356
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,152
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
357
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,321
♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey! ♪
358
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,457
Mmm. Amy,
359
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,292
that pudding was delicious.
360
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,329
If you like raisins.
361
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,631
Thank you. And it's figs.
362
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,632
Oh.
363
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,334
Oh, in that case,
it was pretty good.
364
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,304
You feeling okay? You hardly
touched your goose.
365
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,140
It smelled too much
like blue jay.
366
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,476
Can I help you
clean up?
367
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,678
Oh, you Heimliched a ball
of wool out of me; you're good.
368
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,316
Uh, what do you say
we exchange gifts?
369
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,651
Oh, Sheldon,
we didn't bring any.
370
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,252
I thought you hate
giving gifts.
371
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,253
Yeah, I do.
372
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:32,590
Which is why I got Amy this.
373
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,192
You got me something?
374
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,312
Oh, not just
something, no.
375
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:38,429
It's from the heart,
it's holiday-themed,
376
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:42,433
and I swallowed the gift receipt
so you cannot return it.
377
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,406
Look at you on Santa's lap.
378
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,208
That's so sweet.
379
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,277
Of course it is.
It's the perfect gift.
380
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,746
H-How are you feeling right now?
381
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,181
Guilty? Sad?
382
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,250
Wishing you were Jewish?
383
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,353
No, I love it.
384
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,588
Oh, really?
385
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,423
Well, how about now?
386
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,058
(Christmas music playing)
387
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:10,228
SHELDON (recorded):
Happy holidays to my dear Amy.
388
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,264
I hope you treasure this
389
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:17,268
as much as I treasure you.
(mouthing)
390
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,304
And you got me nothing.
391
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,441
Christmas is ruined.
392
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,176
Let's never speak of it again.
393
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:28,146
Well, this was fun.
394
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,814
Actually,
395
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,483
I did get you
something.
396
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,620
But what about our agreement?
397
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,356
Well, you got me
something. Here.
398
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,295
Cookies?
399
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,964
They're your Meemaw's
Christmas cookies.
400
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,801
I called and got
the recipe.
401
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,045
They're perfect.
402
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:05,316
It tastes like her hugs.
403
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,353
Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
404
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:13,424
I can't believe this.
405
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,095
You're happy, I'm happy.
406
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,363
Well, maybe a holiday that's
all about giving isn't so...
407
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,899
Get your hand out of that box!
408
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:28,906
Okay.
409
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:32,710
The next game is called
Hot Boiled Beans.
410
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,215
Of course it is.
411
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,350
One person is sent
out of the room
412
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,686
while the others
hide a small item.
413
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:42,887
Then they invite
414
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,822
the first person back by saying,
415
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,058
(chanting): "Hot boiled beans
and bacon for supper,
416
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:51,662
hurry up before it gets cold."
417
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,466
If you people think this is
better than Tom Hanks-giving,
418
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,535
you're all crazy.