1
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:06,205
Hey, ready for lunch?
Oh, one sec.
2
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:09,775
Is that the prototype drive
system for the High-G rover?
3
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,977
No, Bernadette
got me a Fitbit
4
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:15,114
so she can track
how much I'm exercising.
5
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:19,551
That'll teach her to care
about your health.
6
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:23,422
I can't wait to see the look
on her face when I die young.
7
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,958
When was the last actual
exercise you got?
8
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,326
The other day, when
9
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,662
she tried to put that Fitbit
on me and I ran away from her.
10
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,232
According to a recent study,
11
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:36,001
simply thinking about exercise,
even while sitting still,
12
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,336
can have physical benefits.
13
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,972
For all you know,
I could be exercising right now.
14
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:42,741
Are you?
Eh, I'll do it tomorrow.
15
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,044
It wouldn't be the worst thing
16
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,211
if we were more active.
17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,813
Oh. You make
an excellent point.
18
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,520
Ooh, I think
I'm getting a runner's high!
19
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:58,023
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
20
00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:01,460
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
21
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,995
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
22
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:05,764
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
23
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,367
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
24
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,136
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
25
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,038
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
26
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,740
♪ Bang! ♪
27
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,682
Look at all these activities
the university has.
28
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,685
Rock climbing club,
archery, flag football.
29
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,888
Had me at flag,
lost me at football.
30
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,491
Yeah, I think it's great you
guys want to get more exercise,
31
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,527
but do you really think sports
is the right choice for you?
32
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,529
What are you saying?
We're not coordinated enough
33
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,630
to play sports?
34
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,033
Okay, Leonard, sweetheart,
35
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:44,236
you twisted your ankle
playing Scrabble.
36
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,039
I got a triple-word score
37
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,841
with a double letter "Q."
If that's not a time
38
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,777
to bust out the Scrabble dance,
what's the point of having one?
39
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,349
Hey, Barry Kripke
started a fencing club.
40
00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:01,553
Interesting. Sword fighting does
hold a certain elegant appeal.
41
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,388
And I would imagine
it meets many
42
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,824
of our personal criteria
for a sport.
43
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,861
It's indoors, so no sunscreen.
44
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,062
No throwing, no catching,
45
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:11,730
no running.
46
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,733
No gym shorts
that can be yanked down.
47
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,169
Or worse, up.
48
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,037
Preach.
49
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,139
And as
an added bonus,
50
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,907
the word "touché" comes
from fencing.
51
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,909
It would be our only opportunity
to use it
52
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,712
in a non-metaphorical sense.
53
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,047
What about a game of tag
on a French schoolyard?
54
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,816
Ah, touché.
55
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,753
Thanks for coming by.
56
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,555
Sure. So how can we help?
57
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,690
Well, I know
more women are
58
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,459
buying comics than ever,
but for some reason,
59
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,227
I-I can't get
'em in here.
60
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,229
All right, well,
what have you tried so far?
61
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:47,966
Uh, I've-I've been stocking
more female-oriented titles.
62
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,303
Uh, in the bathroom, I folded
the end of the toilet paper
63
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,571
into a triangle.
64
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,872
And,
uh,
65
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,707
you are now sitting
in the official
66
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,943
breastfeeding area.
67
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:03,115
Really? In a comic book store?
Oh,
68
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,584
don't worry. I-I've got
a camera right up here,
69
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,053
so I could watch
from the counter
70
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:11,690
and make sure guys
aren't being pervs.
71
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,329
Anyway,
72
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,264
so what do I got to do to-to
73
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:20,365
get you in
the door?
74
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,034
Well, for starters,
75
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,203
you might want to rethink
some of this artwork.
76
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:28,740
I mean, this woman's
actually on a leash like a dog.
77
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,610
Well, you don't know
the backstory.
78
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,646
Maybe she kept jumping up
on the couch.
79
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:42,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
80
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,561
I feel cool.
81
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:53,031
Like Puss in Boots.
82
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,635
I always wanted to be
a swashbuckler when I was a kid.
Technically,
83
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,804
"swashbuckler" is a combination
of two terms.
84
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,440
"Swash" referring to the sound
of the sword.
85
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,308
Swash.
86
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,577
And
then
87
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,914
"buckler" meaning a small
shield, which you don't have.
88
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,549
We can still
be swashers.
Hmm.
89
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,417
Well said, Puss.
90
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:18,056
Gentlemen, welcome
to the fencing club.
91
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,693
Before we start, I just want to
warn you, fencing isn't a joke.
92
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,795
I hope you're not here because
you think it's going to be
93
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,664
like Star Wars.
94
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:26,698
That's not why we're here.
95
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,866
Yeah, I'm here
because I think
96
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,735
it's gonna be like
Game of Thrones.
97
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,070
And maybe
a little Princess Bride.
98
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,805
Ooh, ooh! I forgot
about Princess Bride!
99
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,275
That's my answer!
100
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:40,479
Well, sorry to disappoint you,
but fencing is a serious sport.
101
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:41,747
If you're not willing
to put in the effort,
102
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,548
you might as well just leave
now.
103
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,951
We're not afraid
of physical activity.
Yeah.
104
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,488
I already ran 18 miles today.
105
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,257
All right. Let's begin
with some fundamentals.
106
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,526
This is the en
garde position.
107
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:57,629
Feet are in an "L."
Heels in a straight line.
108
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,630
Elbow is
about a fist
109
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,165
from the rib cage.
110
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:03,335
Notice my dominant
leg faces forward.
111
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,336
Oh, dear.
112
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,437
What's wrong, Cooper?
113
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,874
Well, I'm not sure
I have a dominant leg.
114
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,876
They're both pretty submissive.
115
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,746
When you're in a
public restroom,
116
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,049
which foot do you
flush the toilet with?
117
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,453
Right. Always right.
118
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,754
He's a righty.
119
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,390
Okay,
120
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,491
show me en garde.
121
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,760
Good. Knees bent,
122
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,495
slightly over the toe.
123
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,131
Non-sword hand up for balance.
124
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:37,069
(groans)
I am going
to feel this tomorrow.
125
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:40,205
The first move
is called an advance.
126
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,774
You move your front foot
forward, heel to toe.
127
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,810
Back foot
follows.
128
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,279
So front foot forward,
heel to toe.
129
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,880
Back foot follows.
130
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,616
Now you try. Advance.
131
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:55,020
And advance.
And advance.
132
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:58,623
This is easy.
I didn't need to wear a cup.
133
00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,624
KRIPKE:
Good.
134
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,426
The next move is called
a retreat.
135
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,494
Step back.
136
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,496
Back foot first, toe to heel.
137
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,231
Front foot follows.
138
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,799
On three.
139
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:08,967
Excuse me, Barry?
Yes.
140
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:12,304
When can I stab
one of my friends?
141
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:14,139
In fencing,
we don't call it a stab.
142
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,974
We call it a touch.
Uh, yes,
I'm aware.
143
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,843
But if I say I want
to touch one of my friends,
144
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,846
I'll get called
into Human Resources.
145
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,247
Okay, on three,
146
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:25,784
Cooper and Koothrappali advance,
the other two retreat.
147
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:29,521
One, two, three.
148
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,289
Very good. Switch it up.
149
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,091
One, two, three.
150
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,827
Switch again.
One, two, three.
151
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,296
(phone rings)
(groans)
152
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,831
Excuse me.
153
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,600
Can I call you back?
154
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:45,337
No, I'm teaching
a class.
155
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,806
Sure.
Sure.
156
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,175
An hour,
tops.
157
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,543
Yeah. Okay.
158
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,612
Okay.
Yeah.
159
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,580
Okay. Thanks.
160
00:06:55,582 --> 00:07:00,419
And one,
two, three.
161
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:03,955
Have you thought about
advertising directly to females?
162
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,957
Hmm, okay.
163
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,559
Well... All right.
164
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:10,762
What if I put up a sign
in the window that said,
165
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,632
"Women, come in.
166
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:17,102
Don't be afraid."
167
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,706
PENNY:
Hey.
168
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,209
Uh, have you read the online
reviews for this place?
169
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:25,010
Eh,
170
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,011
the Internet's so negative.
171
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,646
I try to avoid it.
172
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,847
All right, well,
Heather H. says,
173
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,682
"The owner stared at me
the whole time
174
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:33,285
and didn't blink once."
175
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,428
Kelly M. says,
176
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,097
"The creepy guy who runs it
asked me out,
177
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,568
then called himself stupid
before I could say no."
178
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,472
Jessica K.
says,
179
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:56,074
"I told the weird owner
that I liked his shirt.
180
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:59,811
He took it off
and gave it to me."
181
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,515
See? Negative.
182
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,419
With your foil extended,
183
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,689
kick your front leg up and
push off with your back leg.
184
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,324
Now you try.
185
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,827
And
again.
186
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,597
And again.
187
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,933
Look at us! We're
like the Rockettes!
188
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,369
En garde,
Leonard.
189
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,639
Prepare yourself
for a rigorous touching.
190
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,611
(Spanish accent):
My name is Inigo Montoya.
191
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,479
You killed my father.
192
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,047
Prepare to die.
193
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,716
(Spanish accent):
My name
194
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:38,850
is Inigo Montoya.
195
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,253
You killed my
father. Prepare
196
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:42,787
to die.
197
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,990
I thought
you were Puss in Boots.
198
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,258
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
199
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:48,527
(Spanish accent):
My name is Puss in Boots.
200
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,328
You killed my father.
201
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,963
Prepare to die.
202
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,335
I'm looking forward to him
teaching us glove-slapping.
203
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,004
What?
204
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,473
You know, when my
honor is insulted,
205
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,575
and I need to challenge
someone to a duel
206
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:07,579
by slapping them across
the face with my glove.
207
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:08,880
When was your honor insulted?
208
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,350
My last physical.
209
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,819
Again, that doctor
didn't insult your honor.
210
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,022
Just checked your prostate.
211
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:21,660
My name is Little
Orphan Annie.
212
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,562
You killed my father.
213
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,697
Prepare to die.
214
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,102
(with accent):
My name is Darth Vader.
215
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,172
I am your father. Ah!
216
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,176
This is fun.
Good.
217
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,145
It's nice
to see your mind off Amy.
218
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,546
What's going on with Amy?
219
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,248
Not that it's any
of your business,
220
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,749
but she broke up with me.
221
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,184
Really?
222
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,986
Good to know.
223
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,723
"Good to know"?
224
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,592
What's that supposed
to mean?
Oh.
225
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,895
I hate to say it, but it sounds
like he's interested in her.
226
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,931
Well, that's unacceptable.
227
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,067
Oh, buddy, I get
that you don't like it,
228
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,735
but it's not
really up to you.
229
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,072
Yeah, but he's dumb,
and his face is dumb.
230
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,308
Look, even if it's not him,
231
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,912
Amy's probably going
to date someone at some point.
232
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,447
You really think so?
233
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,183
Of course.
She deserves to be happy.
234
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:21,019
How dare you!
235
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,627
Listen, I should warn you
236
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:32,530
that maybe asking Amy out
isn't a good idea.
237
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,898
Barry, a word?
238
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,368
And now the crazy version
of what I just said.
239
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,337
If you intend to pursue Amy,
240
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:42,307
you leave me with no choice
but to put a stop to it.
241
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,909
And how are you gonna do that?
242
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:47,646
By challenging you to a duel.
243
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,782
You've had one lesson.
I'll destroy you.
244
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,917
That is why
the duel will take place
245
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,920
at high noon,
three years from today.
246
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,391
If you're worth your salt
as an instructor,
247
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:00,558
I should be ready by then.
248
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,594
Yeah, and be warned.
249
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:04,696
I'm going to touch you all over.
250
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:12,237
Wow. That-that was crazier
than I thought.
251
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,141
All right,
I'm not saying
252
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,743
it's true, but let's-let's
consider for a moment
253
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:21,346
that possibly
I'm the problem.
Yeah.
254
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,480
You are.
You can say it.
255
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,015
Okay, fine. What...?
256
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,617
I mean, what
can I do?
257
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:27,218
I get so nervous
around women.
258
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,753
Well, you're talking
to us now.
259
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,121
I mean, you don't seem nervous.
260
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,890
Well, that's
'cause I'm doing that trick
261
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,392
where you imagine
the audience is naked.
262
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,097
By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
263
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,767
Do you not hear
how creepy that sounds?
264
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,636
(laughing):
It was a joke.
265
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:45,737
Was it?
266
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,605
No, I'm still doing it.
267
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:50,508
Okay.
268
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,510
Don't be offended, but...
269
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,846
what went wrong with you?
270
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:59,284
I-I guess I assumed
at this point in my life,
271
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:02,520
I would be married
or in a relationship,
272
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,888
or even have a pet
273
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,491
that didn't run away
or kill itself.
274
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,294
That really happened?
275
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,763
I mean, I can't say for sure,
but I swear
276
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,665
that rabbit looked me
right in the eye
277
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,734
before it hopped
in front of that car.
278
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,469
Anyway,
279
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,871
the longer I'm alone,
the more desperate I get.
280
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:25,143
Stuart, believe it or not,
I understand.
281
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,811
You know, before I met Sheldon,
282
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:29,481
I was alone
for a really long time.
283
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:31,282
I was so desperate
284
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,585
for people to like me,
when I met these guys,
285
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:36,988
it took everything in my power
to hide my insecurity.
286
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,993
(laughing):
Okay, we're all feeling it.
287
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,295
Yes, I'll go out with you.
288
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:50,902
Suddenly, the rabbit thing
makes sense.
289
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,508
I'm surprised you wanted to go
to a sports bar, Sheldon.
290
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,843
Look at this blister.
291
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,312
Like it or not,
we're athletes now.
292
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,649
Besides, a bar is
where I belong.
293
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,618
I'm having female problems.
294
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:10,789
If you're cranky and retaining
water, I have a theory.
295
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,658
Sheldon, instead of focusing
on Amy dating other guys,
296
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,394
maybe you should start thinking
about dating another girl.
297
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,596
That's ridiculous.
298
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:19,798
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Why? You never thought
299
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,032
you'd end up in a relationship,
300
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,167
and then you met Amy.
301
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,601
Maybe there's someone else
out there for you.
302
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:29,073
True, but Penny's married,
and so is Bernadette.
303
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:31,209
And your girlfriend has
red hair and white skin,
304
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:34,379
which really rubs up
against my clown phobia.
305
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,248
Maybe you should consider women
306
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,750
who aren't
in serious relationships
307
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,218
with your closest friends?
308
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,888
There's that prostate doctor,
but I'm still mad at her.
309
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,625
Oh, there's a woman.
310
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,194
Oh, I'll make her my girlfriend.
311
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,563
Whoa, whoa.
312
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:55,834
Walking up to a strange woman
in a bar usually doesn't work.
313
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,769
You're forgetting something.
314
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,171
Ladies love jocks.
315
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,574
How many sips
of that beer did he have?
316
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,309
Three.
Oh, boy.
317
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:10,582
Excuse me. I'm recovering
from a recent breakup,
318
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:14,452
and I'm told asking out another
woman might make me feel better.
319
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:18,790
And as Ash Ketchum said
to Pikachu, "I choose you."
320
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,792
What?
321
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,861
It's a Pokémon reference.
322
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,662
I don't know what that means.
323
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,631
Well, we gave it a shot.
324
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,068
How about you?
325
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:33,271
I'm married,
and I'm her grandmother.
326
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,174
Ah, what might have been.
327
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:40,245
And you, give my regards
to Barnum and Bailey.
328
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:46,784
Stuart took that rejection
like a pro.
329
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,520
Well, he knew
he was on the breast cam.
330
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,158
I don't have much practice
turning men down.
331
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,793
It wasn't so much fun.
332
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,095
Oh, you get used to it.
333
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,364
Some guys you have
to turn down over and over.
334
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,066
And sometimes
we marry them anyway.
335
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,235
(phone chimes)
336
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,437
Huh.
337
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,473
Well, this is weird.
338
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,776
What?
Barry Kripke just asked me out.
339
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:12,977
(gasps)
BERNADETTE:
Oh.
340
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,346
Look at you--
two guys in one day!
341
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:19,117
I told you things would change
if you plucked your eyebrows!
342
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,253
What did he say?
343
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,589
"Hi, how are you?
I was wondering
344
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,725
if you'd like to get a drink
after work sometime."
345
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,427
Well, what are
you gonna do?
346
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,029
I don't know.
347
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,232
I guess I assumed that I would
eventually date other people,
348
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,601
but this is happening so fast.
349
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,136
What can it hurt?
350
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,138
Well, I was hoping the
next person I dated
351
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,073
would be a little
less like Sheldon.
352
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,808
You mean, not a scientist?
353
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,944
I think she means not a weirdo.
354
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,579
Are you attracted
to him?
355
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,648
I don't know.
356
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:53,384
All right, well, what happens
if you imagine him naked?
357
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,752
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
358
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,155
(gasps)
359
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,228
I smell funny.
360
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,299
I taste salty.
361
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,502
You're just sweaty
from exercise.
362
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,971
And kind of delicious.
363
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:18,343
I wonder how many licks it would
take to get to the center of me.
364
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,581
I know it only takes
one doctor's finger.
365
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,052
Hello.
366
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,787
Hello.
367
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,456
We should let
you guys talk.
368
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,156
Yeah.
369
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,624
You don't have to leave.
370
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,360
Look at me go!
371
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,796
Uh, Bernadette,
you're my ride.
372
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:39,998
BERNADETTE:
Walk!
373
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,671
How have you been?
374
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,673
I'm doing all right.
375
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,908
I tried fencing today.
376
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,777
How'd that go?
377
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,313
It was pretty easy.
378
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,782
And I think my background
in "mathletics" helped.
379
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,919
Barry Kripke was there.
380
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,187
I should let you know
381
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,124
that he expressed interest
in asking you out.
382
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,993
Well, actually,
he-he already did.
383
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,995
Okay.
384
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,530
But don't get
too attached to him.
385
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,733
In two years, 364 days,
he's a dead man.
386
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,605
I said no.
387
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,939
Interesting.
388
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:26,244
I asked two women out today,
and they both said no.
389
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,547
I didn't know you
were interested in dating.
390
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,984
I've been told
it's a good way to move on.
391
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:35,453
Oh.
392
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,188
Okay.
393
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:43,261
Anyway, um,
it's nice to see you.
394
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,962
You look good.
395
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:45,963
Mmm, thanks.
396
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,331
And I taste good too.
397
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,742
Howie?
398
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,144
What's up?
399
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:05,750
Why does your Fitbit say
you ran 174 miles yesterday?
399
00:18:06,305 --> 00:19:06,582
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