1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,255
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons

2
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:07,632
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

3
00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:10,468
D'oh !

4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,595
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)

5
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,903
Bart, l got it!

6
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,786
l ran here as fast as l. . .

7
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:40,123
Bart, that creepy kid
is here.

8
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,463
(VULTURES CAWlNG)

9
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,882
Hey, Milhouse!

10
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,300
Oh, what's this?

11
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,220
(READlNG)

12
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,098
Oh, wow! This'll look
great on my bike.

13
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,893
Flame decal for
the chain guard,

14
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:04,355
Marine Corps tassels,
bullet-proof seat,
and a rub-on tattoo

15
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,065
for that special someone.

16
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,483
That's me.

17
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,194
(READlNG)

18
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,237
Oh !

19
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,489
MAN: (SlNGlNG) Why don't you
come with me, IittIe girI

20
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,324
On a magic carpet ride

21
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,994
Now to turn on
the moto-mimic.

22
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:19,454
(BlKE MlMlCS
MOTORCYCLE ENGlNE)

23
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,999
lt sounds like
a motorcycle gang.

24
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,333
And we don't have backup!

25
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,501
We'd better lay low.

26
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,504
But Chief,
what if they like pizza?

27
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,672
Way ahead of you, Lou.

28
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,093
That is one bitchin' bike.

29
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,845
Daddy said a cuss word !

30
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,513
Lighten up, Roddy.

31
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,352
NELSON: Ha-ha!

32
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,521
lt's the baby bike brigade.

33
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,232
Hey, Bart. l used to
have a bike like that.

34
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,109
Back before l was born.

35
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,696
Oh, no.
They've got big boy bikes.

36
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:56,449
Thanks for the tassels.

37
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,826
My mom can wear these
on her boobs at work.

38
00:01:58,911 --> 00:01:59,952
(LAUGHS)

39
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,038
Hey, give those back!

40
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:10,004
Gentlemen, first gear.

41
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,343
(GROANlNG)

42
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:20,431
Oh, man, l sure wish
l had a ten-speed bike.

43
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,683
A ten-speed bike?

44
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,060
What did your mother say?

45
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,144
She said, "Yes."

46
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,229
MARGE: l said no!

47
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,980
l'm confused. Which is it?

48
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,691
MARGE: lt's no!
His old bike is fine.

49
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,485
Yeah,
the kitchen lady's right.

50
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,529
No new bike while
your old one still works.

51
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,824
l see. So if my
old bike didn't work,

52
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,034
l would automatically
get a new one?

53
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,244
That's right.

54
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,412
No questions asked.

55
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,831
(LAUGHS)

56
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,503
Boy, l'm really
gonna miss you.

57
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,255
We've really
had some great. . .

58
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,756
Ooh ! A Mercedes!

59
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:56,926
DR. HlBBERT:
What the Halle Berry?

60
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,094
Yes!

61
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,555
(GASPS) My bike!

62
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,640
My crappy, crappy bike!

63
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,977
l'm very sorry, Bart.
l'll pay for a new bike.

64
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,478
(LAUGHS)

65
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,273
This was a wakeup call.

66
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,233
From now on,
l'll keep my eyes
on the road

67
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,777
and off my Kool &
the Gang air freshener.

68
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,113
Celebration's over, boys.

69
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,867
(CAT SCREECHlNG)
(THUD)

70
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,368
(GASPS)

71
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,619
Snowball !

72
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,746
(SOBBlNG)

73
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,333
Snowball ll,
l can't believe you're gone.

74
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,544
l wrote this poem for you.

75
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,921
lt's called "Cat Math."

76
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,465
"Four paws, plus one tail,

77
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:39,635
"plus nine lives
equals one special cat.

78
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:45,975
"One special cat
minus nine lives equals
one sad little girl."

79
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,063
l know how you feel, Lise.
No kid wants to
outlive their pet.

80
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,651
Oh, sweetie,
when l was your age,

81
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,487
l lost my
guinea pig, Cinnamon.

82
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,574
And l thought the pain
would never. . . (GASPS)

83
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,868
Oh, Cinnamon !

84
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:07,997
lt should've been me
who chewed through
that extension cord !

85
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,125
There, there,
you're both right.

86
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,507
Son, would you like to ride
your new bike
out of the store?

87
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,259
Can l? For true?

88
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,136
For true, Son.

89
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,723
Hey, pally. l don't want to
downshift your enthusiasm

90
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:26,933
but that's a floor model.

91
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,184
Your bike is in here.

92
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:32,438
l could put it
together right now
for a small assembly fee.

93
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,900
Here we go.
Now it starts
with the fees.

94
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,527
l'll assemble it myself.

95
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,988
Dad, no! Think of the bike!

96
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,532
l can make a bike.
l made you.

97
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,909
Yeah, great workmanship.

98
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,329
Hey, that's gonna win you
a lot of bar bets someday.

99
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,541
Man, this is so confusing.

100
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,545
What the hell is this? Oh !

101
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,548
(GASPS)

102
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,303
Bike's over there.

103
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,056
You actually did it.

104
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,309
You're the coolest, Dad.

105
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,394
(CHUCKLES)

106
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,941
Look what my dad
just built for me.

107
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,025
ALL: Whoa!

108
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,362
Hey, guys.
This butt's for you.

109
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:22,989
Oh, no!

110
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,825
No one does this to Dolph !
No one!

111
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,368
(LAUGHS)

112
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,495
Uh-oh ! Whoa!

113
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,167
l'm riding a unicycle
with my pants down.

114
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,752
This should be
every boy's dream.

115
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,257
Ha-ha! Your dad's not handy.

116
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,217
Son, are you okay?

117
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,927
l brought a homemade
first aid kit!

118
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,054
lt's spring-loaded
for quick access.

119
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:48,639
(SCREAMlNG)

120
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,477
Oh. . .

121
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,817
ANNOUNCER 1 ON TV:
We now return to Robot Rumble
on the Testosterone Network!

122
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:08,951
AII right!

123
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,912
ANNOUNCER 2 ON TV:
Congratulations to our
winning father and son team,

124
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,123
who will receive
a free appetizer

125
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,584
at Fuzzy ZoeIIer's
Green Jacket Steakhouse.

126
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,836
"And you won't be teed off
when you come in

127
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,505
"because our steaks
are cooked to par-fection.

128
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,966
"Our leader bar is filled
with scrumptious..."

129
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,010
Two more pages?
I'm not reading this.

130
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,470
(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)

131
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:28,804
Hey, boy.

132
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,140
What do you say
we build a robot?

133
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:34,310
Face it. You're not
the most mechanical guy
in the world.

134
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,187
But you're good
at other things

135
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,356
like eating while driving !

136
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,858
That's something !

137
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,027
And nobody gets
madder at the news!

138
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,404
First of all, thank you.

139
00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:46,489
Secondly. . .

140
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,283
My son thinks l'm an oaf.

141
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,747
Mom, l'm not sure
l'm ready for a new cat.

142
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,500
When Bad Things
Happen to Cute Children

143
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:01,253
says that a new pet
will pull you out of
your sorrow cycle.

144
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,672
That book doesn't
know how l feel.

145
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,925
Oh, it's very wise.

146
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,010
lt's written by a Rabbi,

147
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,512
who surfs!

148
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,264
All right. l'll look.

149
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,766
Too fluffy,

150
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,019
too Siamese,
too needy, too stuck up.

151
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,772
lnfected eye,
clearly a skunk.

152
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,732
(GASPS) Meow!

153
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,945
Welcome to the family,
Snowball lll.

154
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:30,032
There's nothing
worse than the look
on a boy's face when he says,

155
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,869
"Dad, l don't think
you can build a fully
functional robot."

156
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:40,709
(SCREAMS)

157
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,176
Robot, l command you,

158
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,845
do something cool.

159
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,144
Oh.

160
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,438
l could quit now,
but then my son will
never look up to me.

161
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,275
Oh, why was l born a dad?

162
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,863
Why do l suck?

163
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,532
Wait a minute.
What is it my dad
always said to me?

164
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,535
lf you can't build a robot,

165
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,953
be a robot.

166
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,621
That's it!

167
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,209
(KRUSTY CLOCK LAUGHlNG)

168
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,170
KRUSTY CLOCK:
It's Tuesday, the first.

169
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,089
If you Iive in Krusty Brand
Iow-income housing,

170
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,091
your rent is due!

171
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,552
(YAWNS)

172
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,928
(SCREAMS)

173
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,808
"Dear Bart, if this robot
doesn't prove l love you,

174
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,518
"then you can
both go to hell."

175
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,938
(GRUNTS)
Hey, it didn't fall apart.

176
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,029
Cool ! Now stop!

177
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:51,989
(GASPS HAPPlLY)

178
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,951
Smash this six-pack!

179
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,871
(CHUCKLlNG)

180
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,081
Oh, awesome.
l gotta tell Milhouse!

181
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,963
Oh, the beer's gone.

182
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,090
l'll have to
suck it out of the shag.

183
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,305
(SlNGlNG)
You pIop the cat food down

184
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,057
You toss the tin can out

185
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,892
You drop the worm piIIs in

186
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,977
And you stir it aII about

187
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,481
You add a lot of lovin'
and you serve it to your cat

188
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,775
That's what it's all...

189
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,401
Snowball lll?

190
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,486
(GASPS)

191
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,489
(SOBBlNG)

192
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,992
Oh, Lisa. Honey, it's okay.

193
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,744
You're a Buddhist.

194
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:42,998
So you know your cats
are now reincarnated as
a higher form of life.

195
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,709
Like a dog or a snowman.

196
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,461
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.

197
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,672
We gotta go fight
some robots!

198
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,261
Come on, Homer.
How long does it take
to go to the bathroom?

199
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:58,681
Huh?

200
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,307
"Dear Bart. . ."

201
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,767
HOMER:
I'd Iove to be with you.

202
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,687
But I just remembered
an oId Army buddy
has come to town.

203
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,522
WiII meet you Iater.
Love, Dad.

204
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,024
Well, l wish Homer was here.

205
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,027
But don't worry.
l've got a name all
picked out for you.

206
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,698
Chief Knock-A-Homer,
let's win this one for Dad !

207
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,324
(HOMER BLEEPS)

208
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,411
ANNOUNCER 1 :
In this corner, operated by

209
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,496
Frank Murray and
little Frankie Junior,

210
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,956
Buzzkill!

211
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,584
And in this corner,
the chaIIenger.

212
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:30,129
Chief Knock-A-Homer!

213
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,757
There's no love lost between
these emotionless devices.

214
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,844
Robots rumble!

215
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,727
Go, go, go!

216
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,605
Go! Go!

217
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,150
Oh, jeez.
l'm the only one in
the audience over 1 5.

218
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,402
Are you here with
your children, sir?

219
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,488
Yeah, my two kids,
Screw and You.

220
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,577
(SCREAMlNG)

221
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,581
ANNOUNCER 2: What's this?
Knock-A-Homer has
dropped his hammer.

222
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,918
Doin' it for the boy.

223
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,045
Pain is love.

224
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,546
To bleed is to care.

225
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,049
ANNOUNCER 2:
Can robots feel pain?

226
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,926
lf so, we are horrible,
horrible people.

227
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,855
He's killing him
softly with his saw.

228
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,231
Killing him softly?

229
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,816
With his saw.

230
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,570
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)

231
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,823
Woo-hoo! l mean, beep-beep.

232
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:43,619
Mom, l'm not sure
if l'm ready to open
my heart again.

233
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,246
But this kitten's
name is Coltrane.

234
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,706
Maybe it's a sign.

235
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,083
Coltrane?

236
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,418
Lisa, l'm glad
you're ready to love again.

237
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:54,463
But a kitty
needs a proper name,
like Whiskers

238
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,423
or Paws Skaggs.

239
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,760
Well, l think it's only
fair l get to name him.

240
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,387
You got to name me.

241
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,222
You should be glad l did.

242
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,058
Your father wanted
to call you "Bartzina."

243
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,477
Coltrane, would you
like to hear some music

244
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,895
written by your namesake?

245
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:11,855
(PLAYlNG JAZZ MUSlC)

246
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,273
(SCREECHlNG)
(THUD)

247
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:14,858
Coltrane!

248
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,278
"Coltrane, you were
with us only briefly

249
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,490
"but we will always
have the ride home
from the shelter."

250
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,951
And, um, l guess that's it.

251
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,577
Amen.

252
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,913
And Lord,
if you think l'm making

253
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,290
lemon bars for
your bake sale Sunday,

254
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,501
you better stop
killing our cats.

255
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:36,672
Mom, l'm not sure
God responds to threats
and intimidation.

256
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,550
lt's the only way
to talk to bullies.

257
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,760
Then Knock-A-Homer
did three victory laps

258
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,720
and pretended
to drink a beer!

259
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:44,805
(LAUGHS)

260
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,014
Pretended.

261
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,267
Dad, what are
all those cuts?

262
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,893
Various bug bites and wounds.

263
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,937
Now stop
interrupting your brother.

264
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,524
ln my day, mechanical men
had funnel heads

265
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,401
and showed respect!

266
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,279
Then it all changed
when they got the vote

267
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,865
and started
tinkering with our memories.

268
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:12,541
There he sits with
a pen and a yeIIow pad

269
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,879
What a handsome lad
That's my boy

270
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,885
B-R-L-F-Q spells
mom and dad

271
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,264
Well, that ain't too bad
'Cause that's my boy

272
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:33,353
WeII, you can have your TV
and your nightcIubs

273
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,983
And you can have your
drive-in picture show

274
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,822
ANNOUNCER 1 :
Well, if you ever want to see
a mailbox shoot a boy,

275
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,782
that's about as close
as you're gonna get.

276
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,327
Dad, it was so great.

277
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,830
Knock-A-Homer
really took a pounding
but then he won !

278
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,081
(GROANS)

279
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,917
Not so rough, Bart.

280
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,211
Daddy can't handle so
much love right now.

281
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,588
This robot's
the greatest thing
you've ever done for me.

282
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,632
l can't believe you've
never seen him fight.

283
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,009
Well, l've been busy, Son.

284
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,303
They really need me
over at the nuclear "plank."

285
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,889
Well, the next match
is Saturday.
Can you come then?

286
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,891
l don't think so, Son.

287
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,603
But on the other hand,
l may be closer
than you think.

288
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,898
Oh. So much metal in my eye.

289
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,358
Ladies and gentIemen...

290
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,693
Who am I kidding?
Just gentIemen,

291
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,987
join us next week
for our title bout

292
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,740
when Knock-A-Homer
wiII try to unseat five-time
defending champion

293
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,825
Smashius Clay,

294
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,870
AKA Killhammad Aieee!

295
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,413
(CROWD APPLAUDlNG)

296
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,302
Our robot can kick
that robot's ass.
Right, Dad? Dad?

297
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,387
(SHUDDERS)

298
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,306
Oh, no.
My recurring nightmare
is coming true.

299
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,476
There are many people
l'd like to thank
for this award.

300
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,770
My wife Anjelica Houston.

301
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,855
This is for you, Angie.

302
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,190
We did it!

303
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:03,193
ROBOT:
Speeches cannot be longer
than 30 seconds.

304
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,319
(SCREAMS)

305
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,948
Now, a tribute to those
who have left us
this past year.

306
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,367
(WHlMPERS)

307
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,466
BART: Sure he's tough
but he's never

308
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,010
come up against
a wooden mallet.

309
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:32,848
Listen, Son.

310
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,225
There's something
l have to tell you
about our robot.

311
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,351
(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)

312
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,563
There it is! The thing that
makes us respect Bart.

313
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,939
(ALL EXCLAlM lN WONDER)

314
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,316
You guys are just in time.

315
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,110
My dad's about
to tell me something
important about our robot.

316
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,446
Uh. . .

317
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:53,577
l just installed a chip
that makes it 1 0 %
more bloodthirsty.

318
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,787
All right!

319
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,372
And if anything
happens to me,

320
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,417
l want you bullies
to take care of my boy.

321
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,211
Don't worry.
l'll raise him like
the mean streets raised me.

322
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,381
l wish l had bullies
like you growing up.

323
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,469
Hey, hey!

324
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,554
These cats'd rather
take their chances

325
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,640
in the back room
than go home with you.

326
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,726
(CATS HlSSlNG)

327
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,564
My job was to keep
Lisa's hope alive.

328
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,567
But instead,
she's really depressed.

329
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,820
You think you got problems,
look what l just
pulled out of my arm !

330
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:29,905
(GASPS)

331
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,741
That's what
we in the business
call a "biggie."

332
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,326
Business? What business?

333
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,703
The business of being a dad.

334
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,246
Can you hand me that magnet?

335
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,581
Sure.

336
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,833
(CLANKlNG)

337
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,126
Can you do my back?

338
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,213
l guess l'm not meant
to own a cat.

339
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,590
l'm much happier
petting this leaf.

340
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,510
(EXCLAlMS)

341
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,600
(SHOUTlNG GlBBERlSH)

342
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,771
Wait! You don't want
me to have this cat!

343
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,272
(SHOUTlNG GlBBERlSH)

344
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,444
Look, you don't
want to get involved
with a girl like me.

345
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,947
My cats have a nasty habit
of waking up dead.

346
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,118
Now go.
Cough me out of your life
like a bad fur ball.

347
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:25,711
(GASPS)

348
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,878
You're not hurt.

349
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,797
You're a good luck kitty.

350
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,217
All right,
old Gil's gonna collect big
from insurance.

351
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,469
l'll be eating food tonight.

352
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,138
(HUMMlNG)

353
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,349
(EXPLOSlON)

354
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,144
l'm keeping you.

355
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,187
You're Snowball V.

356
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,939
But to save money
on a new dish,

357
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,607
we'll just call
you Snowball ll

358
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,402
and pretend this whole thing
never happened.

359
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,820
That's really a cheat,
isn't it?

360
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,698
l guess you're right,
Principal Tamzarian.

361
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,659
l'll just be
moving along, Lisa,

362
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,119
Snowball ll.

363
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,789
(EXPLOSlON)

364
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,547
Okay, l've been
studying Frink's robot.

365
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,258
And l've discovered
he has one small weak spot.

366
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,843
This goes here. . .

367
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,596
Yeah.

368
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,598
Oh-oh. His weak spot is
now his strongest point.

369
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:20,766
(HOMER MOANS)

370
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,267
That moan sounded
almost human.

371
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,602
HOMER: The hell it did.

372
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,190
(BELL DlNGS)

373
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:47,876
ANNOUNCER: End of round one,
230 rounds to go.

374
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,630
(SlNGlNG)
B-R-L-F-Q spells
mom and dad

375
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:56,635
But that ain't too bad,
because that's my boy

376
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,595
You look a little sluggish
out there, boy.

377
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,180
l better open you up.

378
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,306
(GASPS)

379
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:02,474
Dad?

380
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,767
Bart, l'm sorry.

381
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,811
l could never build
a robot this awesome.

382
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:06,895
l'm a fraud !

383
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,564
So you fought
all those robots?

384
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:10,982
Affirmative.

385
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:12,901
That is so cool !

386
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,152
You really think so?

387
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:17,364
Yeah ! Any Poindexter
can throw some nuts
and bolts together.

388
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,533
You risked your own life.

389
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,536
Even though
you're the sole provider
for a family of five!

390
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,330
l am the luckiest
kid in the world !

391
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,790
And l am the luckiest. . .

392
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,626
ANNOUNCER: Round two!

393
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,420
Oh, no! Dad !

394
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,923
(SlGHS)

395
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,174
(ALL EXCLAlM)

396
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:39,427
That robot has
given birth to a man !

397
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,765
Hey, what gives?
He's not killing me.

398
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,517
FRlNK:
l'll tell you what gives.

399
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:50,981
l'm afraid he is subject
to lsaac Asimov's
laws of robotics,

400
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:54,234
with the sci-fi
and the so many books,
not too many good.

401
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,196
My robot
is programmed never to
harm humans, you see?

402
00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,948
Only to serve them.

403
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:06,788
Mmm.

404
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,670
He knows just how
l like my martinis.

405
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,589
Full of alcohol.

406
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,716
Go, go, go!
Now's your chance!

407
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
(CHUCKLES)

408
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,052
Bart, all that button
ever did was

409
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:24,139
send a mild electric shock
up my backside.

410
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,599
Why did you
make it do that?

411
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,933
To keep me focused.

412
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:30,020
And the winner
is nature's greatest
kiIIing machine,

413
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,771
man!

414
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,189
(BOOlNG)

415
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:37,569
Show me where in
the ruIebook it says that
a human can't be a robot.

416
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,446
Right here. Rule One.

417
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,989
Well, then...

418
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:46,536
Join us next week
for more inconclusive
action on Robot Rumble!

419
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,288
l concur!

420
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,749
(BOOlNG)

421
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,835
Son, did you ever
suspect it was me?

422
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,754
Well, you did disappear
a lot but l've gone

423
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,047
whole summers
without seeing you.

424
00:20:57,131 --> 00:21:00,967
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
l'm pretty unreliable.

425
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,469
l like you, Son.

426
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,596
l like you, too, Dad.

427
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:58,608
English - US - PSDH