1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,339
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons

2
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,135
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)

3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,345
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

4
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,598
D'oh !

5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,934
(SCREAMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

6
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,856
(ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA
PLAYlNG)

7
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,895
Wow!

8
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,623
The WiId DingIeberries?

9
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:26,627
lt's a movie version
of a cartoon family
you can see for free on TV.

10
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,963
But they
stretched out the plot
and added a wildebeest

11
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,047
from the hood !

12
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,257
l am so there!

13
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,926
Sorry, pally.
The DingIeberries
are sold out.

14
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:37,513
But looking at you,
l'm sure your kids
are used to disappointment.

15
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,599
How about
Diet Coke: The Movie?
Sold out.

16
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,767
President Air Bud:
Tail to the Chief?

17
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:41,893
Sorry.

18
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,936
My Big Fat Greek Salad?
Not a movie.

19
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,606
The only movies
starting now are
The Re-Deadening

20
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,357
and Teenage Sex Wager.

21
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:52,278
Ooh ! Well, l am curious
to see if those teens
lose their virginity.

22
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,322
And the wager only
sweetens the deal.

23
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:57,867
Mr. Simpson,
that movie is condemned
by our church's movie guide.

24
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,369
(HOMER READlNG)

25
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,581
Refresh my memory.
These dweebs are
with us, why?

26
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,708
Because Mr. Flanders
volunteered to

27
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,835
take the senior citizens
out for ice cream.

28
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,339
Mmm. . . Ow!

29
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,216
This ice cream's too cold !

30
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,426
Ow! l cut myself
on the cone!

31
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,511
(CHUCKLlNG)

32
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,137
Now, now,
remember why we're here.

33
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,556
To celebrate
Jasper's birthday.

34
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:21,891
(SlGHlNG)

35
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,518
Birthday?

36
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,061
(SlREN BLARlNG)

37
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,312
(SENlORS GASPlNG)

38
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,483
Yo, yo, yo!
Give it up for
M.C. Birthday!

39
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,652
(SlNGlNG)
I say a birth, a day,
a birth-a-de-day

40
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,904
Now my good time gang
wiII bIow you away

41
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,073
(ALL SCREAMlNG)

42
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,160
Never leave the day room.
Never leave the day room.

43
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,246
Never leave the day room.

44
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,872
Okay, kids.
Forget the movie.

45
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,416
We'll just go to
the furniture store
and sit down.

46
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,252
Two for
The Re-Deadening, please.

47
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,336
Huh?

48
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,046
The Re-Deadening?
ls that any good?

49
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,007
Good? l'm in it.
l had a small
speaking role.

50
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,844
Yeah. l went to visit him
and was banned from the set.

51
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,971
Mr. Leonard,
how do you get
in a movie?

52
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,098
Ha! Classic Hollywood story.

53
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,725
The director saw my photo
in a medical book.

54
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,894
Hey, Lenny. ls your film
appropriate for kids?

55
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,896
Oh, yeah.
There are lots
of kids in it.

56
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,731
They fall victim
to a vicious. . .

57
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,025
(lNTERRUPTlNG)
Don't ruin it for me!

58
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:16,237
One adult and four children
for The Re-Deadening.

59
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:23,244
CHlLD'S VOlCE:
La, la, la, la,
la, la, la

60
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,581
What's that,
Baby Button-Eyes?

61
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,499
You want me to kill Mummy?

62
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,792
(GASPS)

63
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,545
But Mummy is ever so kind.

64
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,796
What?

65
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,717
Your buttons came from
the trousers of
a psychotic killer?

66
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,344
Then l have no choice.

67
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,888
(WlND BLOWlNG)

68
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:42,972
(SCREAMS)

69
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,516
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

70
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,728
Hey, l paid for this popcorn,
and l'm eating it.

71
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:53,065
Mr. Simpson, l'm scared.

72
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,233
(LAUGHlNG)

73
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:57,278
Relax, stupid.

74
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,655
Everything you
see is make-believe.

75
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,824
Although it is
based on a true story.

76
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,827
Some of which happened
in this very theater.

77
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,333
Oh, oh ! Here comes my part!

78
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:17,506
Baby Button-Eyes!
What are you doing
possessed at this hour?

79
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,342
l'd better tell
the governess. . .

80
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,593
(GROWLS)

81
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,429
Oh ! God ! The prophecy
has been fulfilled !

82
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,097
(SCREAMlNG)

83
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,020
The buttons look like
they're sewn to my eyes.

84
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,397
But they're really
held on with hot wax.

85
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,608
Dad, l don't like
this movie.

86
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,817
Can we go home?

87
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:40,863
Oh, honey, don't be scared.
Look, they killed
the evil doll.

88
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:43,699
(MAN SCREAMlNG ON SCREEN)

89
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,784
(WHlMPERlNG)

90
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,953
Well, what do you know?
lt's unkillable.

91
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,204
(WHlMPERS)

92
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:51,248
Honey, can Daddy rest
his soda on your head?

93
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,416
Mmm-hmm.

94
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,043
That's my girl.

95
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,511
You took little children
to The Re-Deadening?

96
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:07,098
Homer, this is a rare lapse
in judgment for you.

97
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,392
But scaring kids
is good for them.

98
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,644
lt hardens them
against future terrors,

99
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,980
like roofing
and driveway scams.

100
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,148
CHlLD'S VOlCE:
La, la, la, la...

101
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,900
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

102
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,153
Oh, sorry. l forgot l bought
the soundtrack album.

103
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,907
Honey, l know you're scared.

104
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,703
But there's no boogie woogies
or wooly bullies out there.

105
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,709
Oh. Your nightlight's
burned out.

106
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,545
And the only
bulbs we have left
are these red ones.

107
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,221
lt was only a movie
filmed in Vancouver

108
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,764
with Donald Sutherland
as the priest

109
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,141
who stopped believing. . .

110
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,684
(LOUD BANGlNG)

111
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,186
Ah !

112
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,481
(MALE VOlCE GROWLlNG)

113
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,780
Both of us heard
mysterious noises
coming from this very spot.

114
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,868
Bart and l will
explore the attic
until we find their source.

115
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,202
(LOUD CREAKlNG)

116
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,328
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

117
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:14,040
Must be the pipes.
What do you think, Bart?

118
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,541
l think you're
on your own, toots!

119
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,126
(GASPlNG FEARFULLY)

120
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:22,590
Okay. l'll just stay calm
and approach
this scientifically.

121
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:23,716
(LOUD BANGlNG)

122
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,217
Oh, God ! Oh, God !

123
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,553
(CRYlNG) Oh, no!

124
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,223
lf l don't make it out alive,
l love you, Mom and Dad.

125
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,225
Maggie, you can
have my books.

126
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,354
And Bart,
l'll see you in hell,
you booger-eating wuss!

127
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,690
That's right! We all know!

128
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:40,733
(CRUNCHlNG)

129
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,651
Ah ! Bones!

130
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,699
Copyright Pink
Pony Productions.

131
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,743
Visit us on the web
at lisathemovie.com.

132
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,827
Ah !

133
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,705
(MUSlC PLAYlNG ON TV)

134
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,085
Homie, that Kojak
is sexier than Cannon

135
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,629
and Barnaby Jones
put together.

136
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,673
l think he looks
a little like you.

137
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,802
(CHUCKLlNG)
Who loves ya, baby?

138
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,431
How about
a little interrogation?

139
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,768
Okay. You have
the right to remain sexy.

140
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,937
Anything you touch
can and will be

141
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,980
held against you
in a court of sex.

142
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,066
lf you cannot
afford a sex-torney. . .

143
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,692
(MOANlNG)

144
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,279
Mom, Dad, there's a ghost
in the house!

145
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,282
Good. Can you play with him
for half an hour?

146
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,700
Oh !

147
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,536
l don't see any ghosts.

148
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,122
l did find this
Newsweek from 1 986.

149
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,165
Why America
loves Saddam Hussein.

150
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,376
(EERlE WHlSTLlNG)

151
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,878
That's it!

152
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,923
lt's one thing for a ghost
to terrorize my children !

153
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,009
But quite another for him
to play my theremin !

154
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,639
(WHlSTLlNG CONTlNUES)

155
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,406
Hello, Simpsons.

156
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,032
Artie Ziff!

157
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,492
None other!

158
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,494
l've been hiding
in your attic

159
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,539
living off the moisture
l can suck from the rafters!

160
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,333
l thought we killed him !

161
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,543
No, we didn't.

162
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,337
But l did delete him from
my bulk e-mail list.

163
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,256
No, you didn't.
That's right.

164
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,008
Twice a week,
l get your e-mail

165
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,676
of the monkey peeing
in his own mouth.

166
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,469
Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLlNG)

167
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,472
That monkey got America
through some tough times.

168
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,566
Artie Ziff! Why are
you living in our attic?

169
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,942
Let me explain.

170
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,111
l was an
lnternet billionaire.

171
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,321
Say no more.

172
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,781
l would stop,
but l love my voice.

173
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,326
ARTlE: It was the go-go '90s.

174
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,668
And I was partying
with Newt Gingrich,
Janeane Garofalo

175
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,212
and Scottie Pippen.

176
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,505
Everyone Ioved my corporation.

177
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,301
And then, the bubble burst.

178
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,221
Wait! Don't go!

179
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,474
My stock will have
a slight rebound in 2003.

180
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,142
I had nothing.

181
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,524
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

182
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,860
They even took my repo vans.

183
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,072
l had nowhere to go.

184
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,658
So l came here because
Marge is the closest thing

185
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,284
l've ever had to true love.

186
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,913
We had one date!
And you were not a gentleman !

187
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,081
(GRUMBLES)

188
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,207
ARTlE: Oh.

189
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,502
Don't worry.
lf you let me stay,
l'll be on my best behavior.

190
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,338
Not even a fresh remark,
except this one.

191
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:53,634
Wowie, wow, wow, wow!
Zazooga!

192
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,637
Well, l don't know, Artie.

193
00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,182
Forgive me. l'm just
so envious of the happiness
you all have.

194
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,351
Can l please be part of it?

195
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,645
Just till l get
back on my feet?

196
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,815
No way! He's an
annoying sneak who's
out to steal my wife!

197
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,150
Come on, Dad.
With his brains
and your musky smell,

198
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,777
l've got a full
male role model.

199
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,488
And it would be nice
to have someone
here l can beat up.

200
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,533
Ow! No fair! l'm telling.

201
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,451
(LAUGHlNG)

202
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,120
Okay, kids.
You can keep him.

203
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,705
Yay!

204
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,789
(GROANlNG)

205
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,709
"When she pressed her
lips to his forehead

206
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,044
"and walked out
with Denise and Gary

207
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,921
"into the warm spring night,

208
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,133
"she felt that nothing could
kill her hope now."

209
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,551
Nothing !

210
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,512
Ah. Thanks for
reading me The Corrections.

211
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,015
lt makes me feel better
about my own family.

212
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,391
Doesn't your
father ever read to you?

213
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,559
He tried once.

214
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,228
But he got confused
and thought the book
was real.

215
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,814
He's still looking for
that chocolate factory.

216
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,524
lt consumes him.

217
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,612
Hey, Mom, can l
sleep over at Milhouse's?

218
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,573
l thought you were
playing catch with Artie.

219
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,409
Yeah. But after
the ice cream man cut up
his credit card,

220
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,744
he got a little depressed.

221
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,956
Oh, my!

222
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,751
Well, Homer, maybe you should
take him to Moe's.

223
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,794
Come on, little fella.

224
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,755
You're hanging
with me tonight.

225
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,762
Guys, l'd like you
to meet Artie Ziff.

226
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,805
Hello, handsome!

227
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:22,973
Hello!

228
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,058
Losers.

229
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,269
KENT: Coming up.
Can yodeling cure cancer?

230
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,272
Of course not. But first,
where is Artie Ziff?

231
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,357
(GASPS)

232
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,817
The SEC wants to know.

233
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,154
lt seems Ziff Corp.
spent stockhoIders'
money on everything

234
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,989
from marble toothbrushes

235
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,532
to soIid goId underpants.

236
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,662
Small investors
have been wiped out.

237
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,290
l lost all me
"screw you" money.

238
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,459
l'm very sorry to
hear that, Willie.

239
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,543
Screw you !

240
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,003
Authorities are
currentIy operating

241
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:54,421
under the theory
that Ziff is Iiving

242
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,298
in a cave somewhere.

243
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,385
He's not in here, Chief.

244
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,095
That's some good
speIunking, Lou.

245
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,180
Mighty fine speIunking.

246
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,978
Okay, read 'em and weep.

247
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,438
l don't know why l'm losing.

248
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,941
Maybe l have
some kind of "tell."

249
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,152
Hot mamma,
l'm living in flushtown !

250
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,405
Population Artie!

251
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,492
Uh, l guess l'm in
for 50 cents.

252
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:24,785
l fold.
Me, too.

253
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,078
l'm out.
l'm done.

254
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:30,916
l'll see your
50 cents and raise you $1 .

255
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Whoa!

256
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,004
Well, l'm out of cash.

257
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,881
But would you accept 98%

258
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,716
of the outstanding shares
of Ziff Corp. stock?

259
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,844
And the peanuts
in your mouth.

260
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:42,928
Very well.

261
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,555
(HACKlNG COUGH)

262
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,140
All of them.

263
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,349
(HACKlNG COUGH)

264
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,852
Flush. What have you got?

265
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,520
Four Jacks.

266
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,941
(LAUGHlNG)

267
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:59,486
Check it out.
l own a multinational
corporation.

268
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,447
(LAUGHlNG)

269
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,241
l always knew
someday l'd be a C.O. D.

270
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,451
(GLASS SHATTERlNG)

271
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,454
Freeze! Securities and
Exchange Commission !

272
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:12,958
Artie Ziff, you're wanted
for stock manipulation
and securities fraud.

273
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,836
lt's scum like you
that undermine
investor confidence.

274
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,672
lnvestor confidence?
Perhaps this affects me?

275
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,717
l own 230 million
shares of Ziff Corp. stock.

276
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,635
You're
the majority shareholder?

277
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,972
l sure am.
With all the inherent
legal liabilities.

278
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,098
(GUNS COCKlNG)

279
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,766
Hey, what are you. . .
You're under arrest.

280
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,727
Wait a minute.
How can you arrest Homer?

281
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,980
This guy's the one what done
the thing that
why you're here for.

282
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,316
l'm talking malfeasance here.

283
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,984
All right. l admit it.

284
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,320
l did run Ziff Corp.
into the ground.

285
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:45,407
And this man took me
into his home when
no one else would.

286
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,660
And now as the result
of his brilliant
card playing,

287
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,828
he's the one you want!

288
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,913
(GASPlNG)

289
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,831
Tape his mouth so
he can't deny it!

290
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,292
Don't tell my kids
l'm going to jail !

291
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,211
Tell them l joined
the Blue Man Group!

292
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,921
l'm the fat one!

293
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,513
WOMAN: Homer Simpson,

294
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,181
how do you respond
to the charge that

295
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,600
your company has
betrayed the public trust?

296
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,185
(WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY)

297
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,269
Plead the Fifth Amend. . .
What?

298
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,437
(WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY)

299
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,523
Refuse to
answer on the grounds
that l. . . What?

300
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,607
(WHlSPERlNG lNAUDlBLY)

301
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,442
lnseminate myself?

302
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:24,446
(QUlETLY)
Dudes, l think this
guy's coming on to me.

303
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,031
You, sir, are a moron !

304
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,075
A Mormon?
But l'm from earth !

305
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,077
Oh, for heaven sakes!

306
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,788
Your majesty,
can l go home now?

307
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,625
Your company's crimes
have left a scar
on this great nation.

308
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,044
And she was so beautiful.

309
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,213
But what man
would want her now?

310
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,131
MAN: l wouldn't want her. . .
KRUSTY: Yeah, she was hot.

311
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,386
My husband's going to jail,
and it's all your fault!

312
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,013
Do you know why
no one likes you?

313
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,348
Anti-Semitism?

314
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,683
No!

315
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:56,353
Your problem is you never
think of anyone
besides yourself.

316
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,815
Marge,
l think about a lot more
than just moi.

317
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,067
(SlNGlNG)
Artie, Artie, Artie, Artie

318
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,570
Artie, Artie,
Artie, Artie

319
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,238
(SCATTlNG)

320
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,907
Oh, my God.

321
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,409
She's right.

322
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,333
l never want you
in this house again !

323
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,044
lf he's out,
can l move back in?

324
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,462
What do you think?

325
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,590
And she's the nice one.

326
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,099
Okay, kids.

327
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,686
This book should help you
deal with your feelings.

328
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,063
Look, Maggie. lt's a pop-up.

329
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,732
"Daddy's made a shiv.

330
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:45,527
"Can you help him
ice Johnny Shakes,
the jailhouse stoolie?"

331
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,822
Uh, ew.

332
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,407
Hey, let me read it to her.

333
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:54,244
"Johnny's friends
get some payback on
Daddy while he's sleeping."

334
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:58,790
Daddy's on fire.
Daddy's not on fire.

335
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,125
Daddy's on fire. . .

336
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,376
MARGE: Daddy's not on fire!

337
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:02,628
(CRYlNG)

338
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,838
Okay, fine. He is.

339
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,632
(COOlNG)

340
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,759
l miss you guys so much.

341
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,719
The smell of
Marge's pork chops.

342
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:14,222
The way you kids kiss
my owies when l go boom.

343
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:19,561
(SOBBlNG)
This place has become
like a prison to me!

344
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,938
Hey, Dad.
Maybe this will
cheer you up.

345
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:27,361
Why you little. . .
(lMlTATES CHOKlNG)

346
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,530
Aw. lt's no use, son.

347
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,075
By the time
l get out of here,
you'll be grown.

348
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,036
(SlNGlNG)
Turn around, turn around

349
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,581
Turn around
and you're a young man

350
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:44,628
(VOlCE BREAKlNG)
And you're too big to choke

351
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,339
(SOBBlNG)

352
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,345
Well, well,
look who showed his face.

353
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,056
The louse who
sold out his only friend.

354
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,684
You've got a lot
of nerve coming here.

355
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,937
But since you did,
what'll it be?
First one's on the house.

356
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,024
ls this dump open?
We were jogging and
ran out of cigarettes.

357
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,401
Pardon me for intruding.

358
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:10,612
But l believe
teenage girls
shouldn't smoke.

359
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,864
(LAUGHlNG)

360
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,783
(COUGHlNG VlOLENTLY)

361
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,122
Are you still
living with Marge?

362
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,415
No.

363
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:24,209
She kicked me out for sending
her husband to prison.

364
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,838
You put Homer in jail?
(SHUDDERS)

365
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,258
The hair is standing up
on the back of my knees.

366
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,218
Keep your Odor-Eaters
on, Selma.

367
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,178
l've seen you get
hurt too many times.

368
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,098
l'm not gonna let him into
my heart or my bedroom.

369
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:41,393
Just 1 0 minutes
on the beanbag.
Come on, Short Round.

370
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,895
We're going back
to my temple of doom.

371
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,814
Be gentle!

372
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,734
You know,

373
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:52,446
they say that
the love of a good woman
can save any man.

374
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,989
Except you, freak!

375
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,783
Well, if you
change your mind,
you know where l am.

376
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,577
ln my nightmares!

377
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,662
l'm gonna stop now.

378
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,873
(ARTlE GRUNTlNG SOFTLY)

379
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,003
SELMA: What the hell
are you doing?

380
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,796
l can't get my socks off.

381
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,884
Ah, leave 'em on.
l like a man with
a little mystery.

382
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,094
l'm done.

383
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,888
My kinda man.

384
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:18,972
ARTlE: Oh !

385
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,350
Wonderful,
glorious, magnificent.

386
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,561
And you were
pretty good, too.

387
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,688
(LAUGHlNG)

388
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,441
Oh ! (lNHALES DEEPLY)

389
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,944
Selma, you've made
a new man of me.

390
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,946
Thanks to your angry love,

391
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,282
l can no longer
sit by selfishly while

392
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,618
another suffers
for my book cooking.

393
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,786
What are you gonna do?

394
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,455
First,
l'm gonna read the paper,

395
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,539
have a little nosh.

396
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,665
And then,

397
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,459
l'm gonna rinse out
a few things.

398
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,795
And then, finally,

399
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,547
l will get
an innocent man
out of jail.

400
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,469
Well, he can't break
my heart, 'cause he kind
of makes me sick.

401
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,678
This could work.

402
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,972
Artie Ziff shocked
investigators today

403
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,183
by turning over
a second set of books

404
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,727
detaiIing his own
financiaI cuIpabiIity

405
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,814
and exonerating stumbIing,
bumbling boob Homer Simpson.

406
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,691
Simpson's grateful family
had this to say.

407
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,611
I'm so happy to be getting
my husband back.

408
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:19,157
And I'm happy to
listen to FM 95.3,
home of Boomer and the Diz!

409
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,742
Bart!
Chill out, Mom.

410
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,827
They gave me this hat.

411
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:22,911
Mmm...

412
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,959
Sorry you were
wrongfully imprisoned,
Simpson.

413
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,294
Can l apply my time
toward a future crime?

414
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,922
You can either steal a car
or kick me in the crotch.

415
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:37,050
(GRUNTS) No one
ever chooses the car.

416
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,052
Oh, Dad !

417
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:43,223
Mmm. l missed you so much !

418
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,226
Oh, my God !
Maggie, you're talking !

419
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,270
Homer, l believe
that's Lisa.

420
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,565
Oh, Bart,
what a man you've become.

421
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:54,860
Artie, thank you for
doing the right thing,

422
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,528
eventually.

423
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,739
All l needed was
the love of a good woman.

424
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,785
And since you're
not interested. . .

425
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,995
l'm not!

426
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,204
Merely checking.

427
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,123
Because l'm into that.

428
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,208
l'll visit you
in two weeks.

429
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,386
l have to admit,
l'll miss having him around.

430
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,470
(LAUGHlNG)

431
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,724
l don't think we've seen
the last of Artie Ziff.

432
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:29,728
Yo, hobbit.
l'm like your roommate.

433
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,106
Oh, a smoker, eh?

434
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,066
Well, l have ways
of dealing with you.

435
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,235
Squirt, squirt, squirt.

436
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,404
Your lungs will thank me.

437
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:43,658
Kids, you better take your
last look at Uncle Artie.

438
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,827
Oh, look!
There's a whole bunch of you !

439
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,580
Squirt, squirt, squirt!

440
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,707
That's it. Circle around me.

441
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,667
Squirt, squirt, squirt,
squirt, squirt,
squirt, squirt.

442
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,920
Oh, l'm gonna
need more water.

443
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:48,723
English - US - PSDH