1 00:00:06,515 --> 00:00:10,105 - Hey, how do I look? - Incredible. 2 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:14,451 All men want to be you, all women want to be with you. 3 00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:17,667 Could you at least look at me before you answer? 4 00:00:19,511 --> 00:00:21,389 I stand corrected. 5 00:00:22,938 --> 00:00:24,601 All men want to be with you... 6 00:00:24,777 --> 00:00:28,033 Charlie, come on. I'm really nervous here. 7 00:00:28,203 --> 00:00:31,044 This is my first real date since college. 8 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:35,802 - What the hell is this? - Bourbon. 9 00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:41,030 - You drink bourbon while you work out? - Gin makes me sweat. 10 00:00:42,578 --> 00:00:45,502 Look, don't turn this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. 11 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:49,011 - You met a woman, you asked her out... - Technically, she asked me out. 12 00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:52,437 See, I was in the market, and she needed advice on picking out corn. 13 00:00:52,608 --> 00:00:54,901 There were no employees around. There never are. 14 00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:58,033 Even if they are, they're not knowledgeable about produce. 15 00:00:58,207 --> 00:01:02,295 - Thank God you were there. - Tell me about it. 16 00:01:02,470 --> 00:01:04,799 I explained that you have to husk a few ears... 17 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,223 ...to check the firmness of the kernels. 18 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,231 Next thing you know, she asked me out. 19 00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:13,709 Well, I guess that's why they say no one gets more action than a greengrocer. 20 00:01:13,878 --> 00:01:16,208 - They say that? - No. 21 00:01:17,848 --> 00:01:19,761 The point is, it's just dinner. 22 00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:23,147 You'll go, you'll bore her to death, you'll come home. 23 00:01:23,322 --> 00:01:26,079 Yeah, I know, but I wanna look good while I'm doing it. 24 00:01:26,247 --> 00:01:28,410 You look fine. Just relax. Be yourself. 25 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,549 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 26 00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:34,724 - You think I should bring some condoms? - Why? 27 00:01:34,898 --> 00:01:37,572 Well, I see the public service commercials... 28 00:01:37,739 --> 00:01:39,569 Yeah, you're right. See you later. 29 00:01:44,425 --> 00:01:46,386 Feel the burn. 30 00:02:15,056 --> 00:02:16,387 I think it's going well. 31 00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:33,516 My God, Alan. You're like a machine. 32 00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:39,125 I'm a love shark, baby. If I stop making love, I drown. 33 00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:43,048 Okay, okay, okay. Wait a sec, wait a sec: 34 00:02:45,478 --> 00:02:47,605 Sharks don't growl. 35 00:02:47,777 --> 00:02:52,079 All right, I'm a love bear. 36 00:02:52,248 --> 00:02:55,920 If I stop making love, I prevent forest fires. 37 00:02:56,928 --> 00:02:58,342 Jeez. 38 00:02:58,516 --> 00:03:01,095 - Alan. - Put that out. 39 00:03:08,838 --> 00:03:11,416 - Morning. - Morning. 40 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,972 I see you've been working out again. 41 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,907 Yeah, well, it's good for my heart. 42 00:03:20,079 --> 00:03:23,086 I figure the liver damage makes it kind of a push. 43 00:03:23,255 --> 00:03:24,836 Morning, all. 44 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,090 - Morning. - Morning. 45 00:03:46,531 --> 00:03:48,408 Thirsty. 46 00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:51,705 Alan. 47 00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:59,141 Well, gadzooks, Zippy's getting his freak on. 48 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,373 Yeah, it seems we're living in an age of miracles. 49 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:06,669 I guess if they can put a man on the moon... 50 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,718 ...they can put a woman on your brother. 51 00:04:10,894 --> 00:04:13,104 - Who's the girl? - I don't know. 52 00:04:13,276 --> 00:04:16,734 He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn. 53 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,324 Corn? 54 00:04:20,004 --> 00:04:24,140 Well, I'm not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas. 55 00:04:47,793 --> 00:04:51,501 - Hey, Alan? Alan? - Yeah? 56 00:04:51,679 --> 00:04:53,592 - What you got there? - Basting brush... 57 00:04:53,769 --> 00:04:59,022 ...chocolate sauce, rubber gloves. You know what we're gonna use them for? 58 00:04:59,536 --> 00:05:02,911 - No. - Neither do I. 59 00:05:03,714 --> 00:05:07,767 Charlie, I have never had sex like this before in my life. 60 00:05:07,935 --> 00:05:12,570 In fact, I don't think anything I've had prior to this can even be called sex. 61 00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:16,532 Because if you call that sex, we need a new name for this. 62 00:05:16,711 --> 00:05:21,381 My suggestion would be "hootenanny yum-yum." 63 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,603 I'm happy for you. 64 00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:28,448 Me too. Oh, do we have a step stool? 65 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,496 - Hallway closet. - Thank you. 66 00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:35,673 - You might wanna pace yourself. - Yeah, right. 67 00:05:43,497 --> 00:05:45,160 Oh, boy. 68 00:05:45,336 --> 00:05:49,424 - What? - Oh, boy. 69 00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:50,929 Can I watch TV? 70 00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,859 I don't see why not. You got eyes and a butt. 71 00:05:55,908 --> 00:05:57,571 Where's Alan? 72 00:05:58,248 --> 00:06:01,208 - He's here. - Well, may I speak with him? 73 00:06:05,979 --> 00:06:07,393 Sure, why not. 74 00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:12,824 Okay, okay. Wait a sec. 75 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:16,756 - Ta-da! - Yes! 76 00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:24,864 Not a good time, Charlie. 77 00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:28,742 Well, I thought you might like to know that your ex-wife and son are here. 78 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,964 She's supposed to bring him on Friday. 79 00:06:31,136 --> 00:06:32,966 It is Friday. 80 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,689 But not until 5. 81 00:06:35,858 --> 00:06:38,020 It is 5. 82 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,194 Okay, cover for me. I'll be right out. 83 00:06:40,371 --> 00:06:41,785 - Alan. - Yeah? 84 00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:44,585 You might wanna take off the rubber glove first. 85 00:06:44,759 --> 00:06:46,554 Good thinking. 86 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,618 - He'll be right out. - Thank you. 87 00:06:53,785 --> 00:06:55,615 So... 88 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,217 ...how are you? 89 00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:03,303 What's going on in there? 90 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:09,446 Alan's moving furniture around, because he's constantly redecorating. 91 00:07:09,623 --> 00:07:12,415 Sorry, I was taking a nap. 92 00:07:14,888 --> 00:07:16,171 So... So, what's up? 93 00:07:16,351 --> 00:07:20,273 I wanted to remind you that Jake has his karate tournament tomorrow morning. 94 00:07:20,446 --> 00:07:23,786 - Okay. - What's that on your face? 95 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:29,463 - Just a little chocolate sauce. - Thank you. 96 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,135 Got it, karate tournament, tomorrow morning. 97 00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:34,146 Alan, what's going on? 98 00:07:35,156 --> 00:07:40,160 What's... What's going on is I was lying in bed... 99 00:07:40,337 --> 00:07:42,215 ...eating a sundae. 100 00:07:44,391 --> 00:07:46,803 - After moving furniture. - After moving furniture. 101 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:51,034 And I fell asleep in some chocolate sauce. 102 00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:55,371 Goodbye, Alan. 103 00:07:58,808 --> 00:08:01,220 - I think she bought it. - You think? 104 00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:02,944 No. 105 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,655 Why didn't you tell her you've got a woman? 106 00:08:06,831 --> 00:08:09,124 I don't know. It just seems wrong. 107 00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:12,089 You're divorced. You have nothing to feel guilty about. 108 00:08:12,264 --> 00:08:15,390 It's not guilt. It's more shame. 109 00:08:15,565 --> 00:08:19,107 - What are you ashamed of? - Charlie, I spent 12 years with Judith. 110 00:08:19,284 --> 00:08:22,326 We went through a lot together. You can't just erase all that... 111 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,462 ...by lapping chocolate sauce out of another woman's navel. 112 00:08:26,764 --> 00:08:30,437 Okay, my fault for asking. Now, what do you wanna do about Jake? 113 00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:34,531 Oh, my God, Jake's here. I don't want him to know I'm dating. 114 00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:38,876 This is not dating, Alan. This is rubber gloves and step stools. 115 00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:41,556 All right, all right. 116 00:08:41,725 --> 00:08:44,684 You distract him, and I'll sneak Nancy out and drive her home. 117 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,069 - Fine. - Okay. 118 00:08:48,202 --> 00:08:53,087 Wrong. This is just wrong, so wrong. 119 00:08:53,258 --> 00:08:55,754 Hey, Jake, wanna go shoot some hoops? 120 00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:57,728 In a minute. 121 00:09:08,929 --> 00:09:10,426 He's oblivious. Just go. 122 00:09:12,063 --> 00:09:13,726 In a minute. 123 00:09:24,892 --> 00:09:28,683 No, he's still watching TV. Hold on, I'll check. 124 00:09:30,283 --> 00:09:32,695 - You hungry? - What are we having? 125 00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:36,926 - I don't know. Tell me if you're hungry. - That depends on what we're having. 126 00:09:37,094 --> 00:09:39,340 - Okay, what do you want? - What do you got? 127 00:09:41,022 --> 00:09:43,019 He's not hungry. 128 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:48,450 So I thought you were taking her home and coming right back. 129 00:09:48,628 --> 00:09:51,206 You checked into a hotel? 130 00:09:51,929 --> 00:09:55,102 No, you're right, driving that way is dangerous. 131 00:09:56,610 --> 00:09:59,236 One pothole can change your life forever. 132 00:10:01,917 --> 00:10:07,169 When's the last time you ate something? Quit giggling, you know what I mean. 133 00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:15,361 Okay. Okay, look in the honor bar for some Gatorade or something. 134 00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,796 Dehydration is the enemy. 135 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,926 All right, have fun. See you later. 136 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,144 I am hungry. What's for dinner? 137 00:10:25,318 --> 00:10:27,695 - What do you want? - What do you got? 138 00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,748 I think there's a couple of steaks in the freezer. 139 00:10:31,921 --> 00:10:33,252 I want chicken. 140 00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:36,344 It's just wrong. 141 00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:41,316 So very, very wrong. 142 00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:48,584 - You full? - Yeah. 143 00:10:48,762 --> 00:10:53,064 - Good. - Why, what else we got? 144 00:10:53,651 --> 00:10:55,528 - You said you were full. - I am. 145 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,112 Good. 146 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:01,121 But what else we got? 147 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:07,315 Sorry, I'm late. I had to go to the office... 148 00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:11,274 ...for an emergency, and I got a flat tire. 149 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:15,042 And so I had to wait for the auto club to come and change it. 150 00:11:15,214 --> 00:11:16,545 And I didn't have my card. 151 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,964 And the guy had to check me on the computer... 152 00:11:19,142 --> 00:11:21,768 ...even though I've been a member since 1989. 153 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:27,326 And that's why it took until now for me to get back. 154 00:11:30,048 --> 00:11:31,879 Thought you were here. 155 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,014 I missed you, Alan. 156 00:11:35,188 --> 00:11:38,778 Thank you. Can I speak with you for a minute? 157 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:42,657 - Hey, Uncle Charlie, what's for dessert? - You said were full. 158 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,881 Not for dessert. 159 00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:48,386 - Okay, what do you want? - What do you got? 160 00:11:49,104 --> 00:11:51,065 How do you not kill him? 161 00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:56,072 Charlie, I feel horrible about what I'm doing. 162 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:59,003 Then you're doing it wrong. 163 00:11:59,175 --> 00:12:02,265 No, I feel like I'm abandoning my child. 164 00:12:02,435 --> 00:12:05,275 Weren't you listening? He didn't even notice you were gone. 165 00:12:05,443 --> 00:12:06,774 That's not the point. 166 00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:10,870 What kind of man chooses sex with an insatiably hot stranger... 167 00:12:11,043 --> 00:12:13,336 ...over quality time with his little boy? 168 00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:18,809 I don't know, a man who was married for 12 years and had sex 12 times. 169 00:12:20,153 --> 00:12:22,446 You're right, I deserve this. 170 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:25,541 Exactly, so go enjoy yourself. 171 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,624 Well, I do have the room the whole night. 172 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,641 Yeah, most of your better hotels prefer you do it that way. 173 00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:34,184 Just make sure Jake goes to bed early. He's got karate in the morning. 174 00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:37,284 - Which, of course, you'll be back for. - Charlie, trust me. 175 00:12:37,453 --> 00:12:41,375 You, I trust. It's him I'm worried about. 176 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,701 What? 177 00:12:54,712 --> 00:13:00,227 Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. I have to take him to karate? 178 00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:03,105 Alan, it's 6:30 in the morning. 179 00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:05,988 What kind of maniac broad did you hook up with? 180 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:09,918 She's incredible, Charlie. I've never met anyone like her. 181 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,397 Gotta go. 182 00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,666 Jake, wake up. 183 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,638 Well, I tried. 184 00:13:39,425 --> 00:13:42,801 - Anybody home? - Right here. 185 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:45,984 Where's Jake? 186 00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:48,946 I don't know. Didn't he have a karate tournament? 187 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:53,625 Yes. You were supposed to take him three hours ago. 188 00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:57,508 - Why didn't you take him? - He wouldn't get up. 189 00:13:57,687 --> 00:14:00,183 I tried everything. 190 00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:02,361 What time did he go to bed? 191 00:14:02,534 --> 00:14:06,041 I don't know. I crashed around 2 and he was still going strong. 192 00:14:07,382 --> 00:14:09,425 He was up past 2? 193 00:14:09,597 --> 00:14:13,352 He said he's had coffee before, but that was a lie, right? 194 00:14:14,361 --> 00:14:18,580 Okay, okay, all right, it's not important. The karate was his mother's idea. Listen. 195 00:14:18,748 --> 00:14:21,244 I need to ask you for another favor. 196 00:14:21,423 --> 00:14:25,892 Oh, come on, put it in the holster, Wild Bill. 197 00:14:27,691 --> 00:14:31,149 No, no, no. This isn't about sex. 198 00:14:31,327 --> 00:14:33,953 I need you to watch Jake for the rest of the weekend... 199 00:14:34,127 --> 00:14:37,633 ...so that Nancy and I can go to Vegas and get married. 200 00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:43,026 Oh, God, Alan. There's no need to marry the woman. 201 00:14:43,195 --> 00:14:46,118 If you don't wanna have sex anymore, just tell her. 202 00:14:46,287 --> 00:14:49,294 No, no, you don't understand. 203 00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:51,126 This is beyond sex. 204 00:14:51,302 --> 00:14:52,799 We're in love. 205 00:14:55,606 --> 00:14:56,984 Alan, come here. 206 00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,835 You are not in love, you're besotted. 207 00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:08,764 No, no, no, I have never felt like this about a woman before. 208 00:15:08,936 --> 00:15:11,432 We have a bond that transcends the physical. 209 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,942 - Really? - Yeah. 210 00:15:13,115 --> 00:15:15,361 - Kind of a spiritual thing? - Yes. 211 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,665 Okay. I can understand that. So where's she from? 212 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,920 She's from around here. 213 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,062 - Where? - Supermarket. 214 00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:29,621 Charlie, stop that. 215 00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:35,386 I have thought this through and I am really and truly in love with... 216 00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:38,266 - Nancy. - I knew that. I knew that. 217 00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:41,399 I was looking for the proper adjective to describe her. 218 00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:45,079 Nuts? Easy? Limber? 219 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:49,588 Charlie. Charlie, you started off on the wrong foot with my first wife. 220 00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:52,176 Do not make the same mistake with... 221 00:15:52,898 --> 00:15:54,525 ...wonderful Nancy. 222 00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:58,907 Okay, you're right. This is not about her. Come here. Sit down. 223 00:15:59,082 --> 00:16:02,624 - You gonna hit me? - Well, let's see how it goes. 224 00:16:06,563 --> 00:16:09,772 Okay, look, I've never been much of a big brother to you. 225 00:16:09,947 --> 00:16:12,990 I didn't protect you. I wasn't around when you started dating... 226 00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:15,577 ...when you got married and had Jake. You know why? 227 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:19,016 - Why? - I was busy getting laid. 228 00:16:20,687 --> 00:16:23,860 Which makes me the perfect big brother to help you now. 229 00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:27,406 I've been through this. I know what it means to confuse sex with love. 230 00:16:27,582 --> 00:16:29,626 That's not what I'm doing, Charlie. 231 00:16:29,797 --> 00:16:33,422 We're talking about me, and I've been down this road many times. 232 00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:35,933 I remember this one girl. 233 00:16:36,107 --> 00:16:38,437 We had this unbelievably hot weekend together. 234 00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:41,871 It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before, and I proposed. 235 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:45,499 - I begged her to marry me. - Wow, where did you meet? 236 00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:47,471 Detention. 237 00:16:48,685 --> 00:16:51,526 - This was in high school? - Eighth grade. 238 00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:55,236 And then years later, it happened again with a different woman. 239 00:16:55,413 --> 00:16:57,540 Instant chemistry. The sex was unbelievable. 240 00:16:57,712 --> 00:17:00,635 I was convinced we were soul mates, so I threw myself at her. 241 00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,717 I did everything to get her to marry me. 242 00:17:02,893 --> 00:17:04,937 And you know what? If she'd said yes... 243 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:09,196 ...I'd now have a 67-year-old ex-wife on a belly dancer's pension. 244 00:17:11,376 --> 00:17:13,088 So, what I'm trying to say... 245 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:16,466 ...is you're not the first guy to mistake passion for true love... 246 00:17:16,642 --> 00:17:18,055 ...and you won't be the last. 247 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,642 If someone had told me what I'm telling you... 248 00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:23,697 ...I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. 249 00:17:24,874 --> 00:17:28,297 Okay. I hear you. Thank you. 250 00:17:28,468 --> 00:17:30,096 You're welcome. 251 00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:34,602 So make sure Jake doesn't fill up on junk food, and I'll call you from Circus Circus. 252 00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:38,867 Circus Circus? 253 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,260 You're right, money should be no object. What's the hotel with the pirate show? 254 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:46,723 I'm sorry, Alan, but I'm gonna have to knock you out. 255 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:49,654 - Hello? - Mom, thank God you're here. 256 00:17:49,822 --> 00:17:52,318 Oh, I don't need your sarcasm, Charlie. 257 00:17:52,496 --> 00:17:54,908 No, I mean it. I need you. Alan needs you. 258 00:17:55,087 --> 00:17:56,418 What's going on? 259 00:17:56,592 --> 00:17:58,838 Alan, tell Mom your plans for the weekend. 260 00:17:59,642 --> 00:18:01,686 - No. - Why? Embarrassed? 261 00:18:01,857 --> 00:18:03,520 - No. No. - Ashamed? 262 00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:05,692 - Scared? - Yes. 263 00:18:06,412 --> 00:18:09,335 Sweetheart, I'm your mother. You can tell me anything. 264 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:15,724 Okay. I met a wonderful woman in the supermarket a few days ago... 265 00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:18,690 ...and we're getting married. 266 00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:21,237 I see. 267 00:18:23,587 --> 00:18:29,553 For God's sake, if you're that horny, find a nice call girl, put her on retainer. 268 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,071 This is not about sex. 269 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,035 Oh, please. What else could it be? 270 00:18:35,204 --> 00:18:38,876 - Well, it could be love. - Yeah. Sure. 271 00:18:39,049 --> 00:18:41,972 Who is this woman? What does she do? 272 00:18:42,977 --> 00:18:45,020 She does Alan. 273 00:18:47,782 --> 00:18:50,112 Okay, okay, that... That is how it started... 274 00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:53,831 ...but in the last day and a half it has blossomed into so much more. 275 00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:58,395 Oh, my randy little nincompoop. 276 00:18:58,564 --> 00:19:00,644 Listen, if I had gotten married... 277 00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:04,908 ...after every weekend of hot, sweaty debauchery with a virtual stranger... 278 00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:10,253 ...you'd have, well, many more stepfathers than you already have. 279 00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:13,189 She knows what she's talking about, Alan. 280 00:19:13,357 --> 00:19:17,576 Mom's been on more hotel pillows than a chocolate mint. 281 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,425 Don't help me, Charlie. 282 00:19:25,601 --> 00:19:29,856 Now... Now, listen, sweetheart. Sweetheart, no offense... 283 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:33,073 ...but since you're dirt-poor and living with your brother... 284 00:19:33,248 --> 00:19:37,717 ...one must ask, what kind of woman would agree to marry you? 285 00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:41,892 Unless she's a little slow, or looking for a green card. 286 00:19:43,988 --> 00:19:46,068 Listen to your mommy, Alan. 287 00:19:46,244 --> 00:19:49,167 No. No, I am gonna listen to my heart. 288 00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:51,833 For your information, she hasn't agreed to marry me. 289 00:19:52,011 --> 00:19:54,804 - I haven't even asked her yet. - But you're planning to? 290 00:19:54,978 --> 00:19:58,151 - Yes. - I'm not going to hit you, darling. 291 00:19:58,321 --> 00:19:59,783 Charlie. 292 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:06,794 Okay, look, I will thank you both to let me live my own life. 293 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:08,599 I love Nancy, and Nancy loves me. 294 00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:11,525 And if this is a mistake, then it will be my mistake. 295 00:20:11,986 --> 00:20:16,491 Hello? Nancy. You miss me? I miss you. 296 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:20,124 Listen, there's something I wanna ask you, but I wanna do it in person. 297 00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,843 Oh, oh, okay, okay. I understand. 298 00:20:23,018 --> 00:20:26,025 Yeah, sure. Sure. Bye. 299 00:20:26,946 --> 00:20:29,073 Her husband came back a day early. 300 00:20:32,128 --> 00:20:33,590 Okay, my mistake. 301 00:20:43,787 --> 00:20:47,245 - You hungry? - What do we got? 302 00:20:48,426 --> 00:20:50,588 What do you want? 303 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:55,146 I don't know. What are my choices? 304 00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:59,531 You can cook something, or go live on the street. 305 00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:03,293 I'm not hungry.