1 00:00:02,449 --> 00:00:03,863 Can't we just go home? 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,756 If I gotta drag you to the doctor at 8 in the morning... 3 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,051 ...you can cool your jets while I get coffee. 4 00:00:09,222 --> 00:00:10,685 I must look like an idiot. 5 00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:12,476 Wish I could tell you different. 6 00:00:12,693 --> 00:00:15,867 You're the reason we went to the eye doctor in the first place. 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,042 You said, "Throw me a piece of toast." 8 00:00:20,094 --> 00:00:21,758 I threw you a piece of toast. 9 00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:24,434 Two cups of regular coffee, please. 10 00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:27,787 - My treat. - Oh, that makes up for everything. 11 00:00:27,954 --> 00:00:31,331 Pigeons can feed out of my eye socket, but I get a free cup of coffee. 12 00:00:33,139 --> 00:00:35,933 Just the coffee. Keep the change. 13 00:00:36,442 --> 00:00:39,022 I'm gonna need your help until I get this patch off. 14 00:00:39,243 --> 00:00:41,788 I am absolutely there for you. 15 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,721 Great. 16 00:00:50,031 --> 00:00:51,314 Great. So... 17 00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:54,455 So you'll drive me to work, pick me up, get Jake at school... 18 00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:57,514 ...do the grocery shopping... - Okay, I may have misspoken. 19 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:01,226 Charlie, you have to. You know I can't drive. 20 00:01:05,877 --> 00:01:08,172 I don't see why not. 21 00:01:10,393 --> 00:01:12,605 - Oh, look who's here. - Who? 22 00:01:13,069 --> 00:01:15,483 A girl I used to go out with. Over there. 23 00:01:16,498 --> 00:01:17,960 Hey, Sherri. 24 00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:21,256 - Hey, Charlie, long time. - Yeah. Good to see you. 25 00:01:21,431 --> 00:01:23,095 - This is my brother, Alan. - Hi. 26 00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:25,019 - Hi. - What happened to your eye? 27 00:01:25,487 --> 00:01:27,949 Well, I wanted a piece of toast, and... 28 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,833 Bar fight. 29 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,343 - Nice to meet you. - Well, nice meeting you too. 30 00:01:33,557 --> 00:01:36,315 - Good to see you, Charlie. - Good to see you too. 31 00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:40,654 - Wow, you went out with her? - Yep. 32 00:01:40,832 --> 00:01:42,960 Why would you stop? 33 00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:45,546 I don't remember. I probably got bored. 34 00:01:45,724 --> 00:01:47,555 Bored? How do you get bored with that? 35 00:01:47,773 --> 00:01:50,817 For every beautiful woman, there's at least one guy out there... 36 00:01:50,992 --> 00:01:54,786 ...who's tired of pretending to listen to her in exchange for sex. 37 00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:58,343 Well, let me go on record as saying, I am not that guy. 38 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,521 If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her. 39 00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:03,194 I would worship her. I would... 40 00:02:03,368 --> 00:02:07,210 ...start a small country and put her face on a stamp so I could lick her head. 41 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,723 - Why don't you go talk to her. - Yeah, right. 42 00:02:10,895 --> 00:02:14,153 Gorgeous women like that are not interested in pasty guys like me... 43 00:02:14,323 --> 00:02:16,535 ...unless we're in line for the British throne. 44 00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:20,674 - So you give up without even trying? - Yep. That's my motto. 45 00:02:20,888 --> 00:02:24,479 Why waste time on 10s when you're already getting rejected by sixes? 46 00:02:25,069 --> 00:02:29,207 Alan, listen to me. You are a smart, sensitive, good-Iooking man... 47 00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,873 ...with some milky discharge coming out of one eye... 48 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,799 ...but who amongst us is perfect? 49 00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:36,264 That's the other thing. Look at me. I'm a mess. 50 00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:40,027 So? Women like Sherri have big, hunky guys hitting on them all day long. 51 00:02:40,205 --> 00:02:43,582 A guy like you walks up, makes a move, you know what that says to her? 52 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,639 Trick or treat? 53 00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:50,607 It says, "I'm confident in who I am." 54 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,906 - You think? - I know. 55 00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:56,424 So, what if she's not interested. What's the worst that could happen? 56 00:02:56,595 --> 00:03:00,055 Actually, the worst that could happen is she points at me... 57 00:03:00,232 --> 00:03:03,692 ...and laughs, causing every seventh grader in the cafeteria to turn... 58 00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:06,082 ...and watch me slink back to the geek table... 59 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,750 ...with a growing wet spot on the front of my chinos. 60 00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:10,934 We ninth graders enjoyed it also. 61 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,700 But you're not in junior high anymore, and you're not a... 62 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,745 You're not in junior high anymore. 63 00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:21,419 - It's time to let go of those fears. - I don't know. 64 00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:22,882 Oh, come on, Alan. 65 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,778 For once in your life, don't settle. Go for what you really want. 66 00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:33,506 You know what? You're right. I'm gonna go talk to her. 67 00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:35,514 Hold on. 68 00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,436 Let's clean some of that discharge. 69 00:03:38,281 --> 00:03:40,993 You wanna say "I'm confident," not "I'm infectious." 70 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,385 There. Go get her. 71 00:03:48,985 --> 00:03:53,289 Hey, you see that guy over there? Twenty bucks says he wets himself. 72 00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:15,943 - Hello. - Hi. 73 00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,249 - Alan? - I remember. 74 00:04:18,964 --> 00:04:21,640 Look, I needed to come clean about something. 75 00:04:22,811 --> 00:04:26,069 I wasn't actually in a bar fight. 76 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:29,331 I took a piece of whole-wheat toast to the eye. 77 00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:32,594 I mean, it was cut diagonally and toasted well... 78 00:04:32,762 --> 00:04:34,676 ...so it was essentially shrapnel. 79 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,025 Did some real damage. 80 00:04:39,243 --> 00:04:42,917 I see. And why do you feel the need to tell me all this? 81 00:04:43,131 --> 00:04:46,473 Well, I guess I didn't want our relationship to start on a lie. 82 00:04:46,685 --> 00:04:48,433 Our relationship? 83 00:04:49,194 --> 00:04:51,156 - I'll go now. - No, no, wait. 84 00:04:51,326 --> 00:04:52,740 Sit down. Join me. 85 00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:55,919 Okay. 86 00:05:28,748 --> 00:05:31,292 - That's it. I'm out. - Oh, come on. 87 00:05:32,009 --> 00:05:33,341 No, no, no. No more. 88 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:35,220 You got a date. Leave it alone. 89 00:05:35,437 --> 00:05:37,566 Not just a date. A date with... 90 00:05:42,295 --> 00:05:43,959 Enough. 91 00:05:44,134 --> 00:05:46,810 - I'd think you'd be happy for me. - I am happy for you. 92 00:05:46,978 --> 00:05:48,642 You had the courage to walk over... 93 00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:51,493 ...with your pus-filled eye and fall on your ass... 94 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:56,000 ...and still got a date with one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. 95 00:05:56,176 --> 00:05:58,720 - I'm not only happy for you, I'm proud. - Thank you. 96 00:05:58,936 --> 00:06:01,647 Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew... 97 00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:05,281 ...about men, women, relationships, God and the universe. 98 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,465 But that's not your problem. 99 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:11,763 Charlie, I am as surprised as you that she said yes. 100 00:06:12,524 --> 00:06:14,022 I don't think so. 101 00:06:14,699 --> 00:06:18,956 I was really intimidated, but as it turns out, she's just like a regular person... 102 00:06:19,131 --> 00:06:22,889 ...except for, you know, being from the planet: 103 00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:27,368 Alan, never do that around me again. 104 00:06:28,246 --> 00:06:31,706 You know, actually, we have a lot in common. 105 00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,929 Okay. I'll bite. 106 00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:36,222 Well, we both went through tough divorces. 107 00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:38,653 - Sherri was married? - You didn't know that? 108 00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:41,452 - It never came up. - What did come up? 109 00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,123 Never mind. Scratch that. 110 00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,423 Where should I take her to dinner? 111 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,137 Where did you go so I can take her somewhere else? 112 00:06:48,357 --> 00:06:51,485 Last thing you want is for her to start comparing you to me. 113 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,700 Exactly. 114 00:06:53,876 --> 00:06:55,921 Wait. 115 00:06:56,092 --> 00:06:57,424 What do you mean? 116 00:06:58,183 --> 00:07:00,395 You want your relationship to stand on its own. 117 00:07:00,608 --> 00:07:03,070 - Right. - Well, that's what I meant. 118 00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:07,708 Okay. I thought you were trying to rub my nose in the fact that you dated her. 119 00:07:08,343 --> 00:07:10,388 Alan, I would never do that. 120 00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,182 Well, thank you. 121 00:07:13,068 --> 00:07:15,196 I don't have to. 122 00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:21,460 You think you could kill a guy with a piece of toast? 123 00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:22,923 No. 124 00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:25,392 Because if you did, you could eat the toast. 125 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,578 The police would never find the weapon. It's the perfect crime. 126 00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:31,833 And part of a nutritious breakfast. 127 00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:35,178 Okay, guys, I guess I'll see you later. 128 00:07:35,353 --> 00:07:36,935 Where you going? 129 00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,607 - Out for dinner. - With who? 130 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,258 Jake, look, I think... 131 00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:47,554 I think you're old enough to know that your dad's not just a dad. 132 00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:50,316 He's also a man and that... 133 00:07:50,531 --> 00:07:52,695 ...even though I'm not married to your mom... 134 00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:55,839 ...I still enjoy the company of women... 135 00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:59,552 ...which means that I will occasionally go out with one. 136 00:07:59,772 --> 00:08:02,696 But the important thing for you to understand... 137 00:08:02,907 --> 00:08:05,785 ...is that I am not trying to replace your mother. 138 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,636 In fact, no one can replace your mother. 139 00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:13,732 I bet you could kill a guy with a piece of bacon. 140 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,325 All right, then. I'm glad we had this talk. 141 00:08:18,963 --> 00:08:22,055 I'm gonna go post my plan on the Internet. 142 00:08:24,148 --> 00:08:26,062 You know, there's moments around here... 143 00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,950 ...that make me wish I had a son of my own. 144 00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:30,669 That wasn't one of them. 145 00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:35,343 Yeah, well. Anyway, I really appreciate you watching him tonight. 146 00:08:35,521 --> 00:08:36,804 No problem. 147 00:08:39,116 --> 00:08:41,958 - How you getting to the restaurant? - Sherri's picking me up. 148 00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,585 - Very convenient. - Why? 149 00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:47,174 Because she's been here before? Been here with you? 150 00:08:47,353 --> 00:08:50,564 Because you've had sex with her in every room in the house? 151 00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,286 No, because you can't drive. 152 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,128 But it's interesting to see how your mind works. 153 00:08:59,395 --> 00:09:02,653 Alan, let me give you some advice. 154 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,964 Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. 155 00:09:08,134 --> 00:09:11,308 We don't want you to lose that ability. We want her to. 156 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,529 Of course. Very good. 157 00:09:15,702 --> 00:09:17,033 What else? 158 00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:20,673 Well, women like Sherri already know they're beautiful and desirable. 159 00:09:20,844 --> 00:09:23,769 - You won't score points by telling her. - Okay. 160 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,770 Don't be in a hurry to spill your guts. 161 00:09:25,987 --> 00:09:27,651 She doesn't need your life story... 162 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:29,705 ...before you get the salad. - Got it. 163 00:09:29,918 --> 00:09:33,259 As someone who knows your life story, I'd say she doesn't need to hear it at all. 164 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:37,643 Right, right. I'll be cool, aloof, distant. 165 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,123 She's here, she's here, she's here! 166 00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:46,966 What about the... What... What... 167 00:09:48,691 --> 00:09:50,153 What about the kiss goodnight? 168 00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,534 - Should I ask or just go for it? - Go for it. 169 00:09:52,705 --> 00:09:55,285 Don't wait until the last minute. It creates pressure. 170 00:09:55,465 --> 00:09:57,427 - Get it out of the way early. - How early? 171 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,636 After dinner, when you walk to the car... 172 00:09:59,813 --> 00:10:02,310 ...open her door, wait for her to say thank you... 173 00:10:02,489 --> 00:10:04,820 ...smile, lean in, and kiss her. 174 00:10:05,165 --> 00:10:07,162 Oh, nice. 175 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,153 Hi, Alan. You ready? 176 00:10:16,538 --> 00:10:20,247 You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I don't deserve you. 177 00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:25,187 That's another way to go. 178 00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:31,705 - Madam. - Thank you. 179 00:10:34,558 --> 00:10:37,186 - Sir. - Oh, thank you. 180 00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,121 - Would you like the wine list? - No. 181 00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:46,305 I'll have the Woodbridge Pinot Noir. Or should we get a bottle? 182 00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,890 Oh, definitely get a bottle. 183 00:10:49,402 --> 00:10:51,399 Coffee for me. 184 00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:58,424 You know, Sherri, I'd really like to see more of you. 185 00:10:58,642 --> 00:11:00,936 Maybe we should wait and see how tonight goes. 186 00:11:01,151 --> 00:11:04,325 No, I mean, I've only got one good eye. Could we change places? 187 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,002 Oh, sure. 188 00:11:18,252 --> 00:11:21,176 - Are you okay? - Oh, yes, yes. Fine. 189 00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,266 - This is a nice place. - Yeah. 190 00:11:23,478 --> 00:11:24,762 It's my favorite. 191 00:11:25,527 --> 00:11:27,323 You ever come here with Charlie? 192 00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:29,826 I don't know. Probably. 193 00:11:31,297 --> 00:11:32,878 He's a big steak-eater. 194 00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:38,737 I'm more of a fish guy. You know, I'm surf, he's turf. 195 00:11:40,496 --> 00:11:42,659 And we're cops. 196 00:11:44,426 --> 00:11:47,054 - You're very cute. - You too. 197 00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,943 All right. So tell me about yourself. 198 00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:54,412 Well, there's not a lot to tell. 199 00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:57,083 I was San Fernando Valley Chiropractor of the Year... 200 00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:58,974 ...if you follow that kind of thing. 201 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,648 Recently divorced. 202 00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:05,080 But not too recently. I've already had my rebound, transitional relationships. 203 00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:07,329 - So no worries there. - Good to know. 204 00:12:07,548 --> 00:12:09,795 Actually, it wasn't so much a relationship... 205 00:12:09,973 --> 00:12:14,527 ...as a case of mistaken identity, but I think it still counts. 206 00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:16,905 - Okay. - And... 207 00:12:17,123 --> 00:12:20,334 ...as you know, I live with Charlie... 208 00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:22,388 ...whom you've already... 209 00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,474 - Met? - Yeah, let's go with met. 210 00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:29,659 Alan, is my having dated Charlie gonna be a problem for you? 211 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:34,549 No, no, no. A little. 212 00:12:35,311 --> 00:12:38,022 Okay, look. Charlie and l... 213 00:12:38,196 --> 00:12:41,489 We had a very brief, superficial relationship. 214 00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,997 Okay? And to be honest, it was mostly about sex. 215 00:12:44,844 --> 00:12:46,258 Great. 216 00:12:47,185 --> 00:12:51,062 My point is, yeah, I'm tired of those, those shallow relationships... 217 00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,322 ...I was having with guys like Charlie. 218 00:12:53,499 --> 00:12:57,257 I wanna be with a man who can be sensitive and caring, nurturing. 219 00:12:57,429 --> 00:13:01,139 You know, somebody who can make me laugh, make me think. 220 00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,279 You do realize I'm straight, right? 221 00:13:06,837 --> 00:13:10,011 - See, you really are adorable. - Thank you. 222 00:13:10,182 --> 00:13:12,679 I tend to bring out the mothering instinct in women. 223 00:13:12,899 --> 00:13:15,575 - Oh, really? - Ironically, not my mother. 224 00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:44,168 What the hell are you doing? 225 00:13:44,384 --> 00:13:47,261 Check it out. Ninja death toast. 226 00:13:49,526 --> 00:13:51,239 Okay, stop it, stop it. 227 00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,781 You're in no position to give orders, Mr. Harper. 228 00:13:57,763 --> 00:14:00,308 - Morning. - Morning. 229 00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:04,405 - Death toast? - Oh, thank you. 230 00:14:06,042 --> 00:14:09,752 - So how did it go last night? - Fine. 231 00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:11,304 That's it? Fine? 232 00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:15,194 Charlie, we're not in high school anymore. I'm not gonna go into detail. 233 00:14:15,408 --> 00:14:18,868 - Okay, don't tell me. - Jake, go watch TV. 234 00:14:20,718 --> 00:14:23,560 - I'm still hungry. - There's bread all over the living room. 235 00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:25,478 All right. 236 00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,034 - Well? - It went great. 237 00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:31,544 She said I'm adorable. She thinks I'm nurturing, caring and sensitive. 238 00:14:31,714 --> 00:14:35,472 - I'm exactly what she's looking for. - She's looking for a half-blind sheepdog? 239 00:14:36,356 --> 00:14:38,935 She invited me to her house for dinner tonight. 240 00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:42,409 - I think she wants to have sex. - With who? 241 00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:45,207 - With me. - With you. 242 00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:46,552 Hang on a second. 243 00:14:50,739 --> 00:14:53,415 Nope. No snowballs reported in hell. 244 00:14:55,171 --> 00:14:57,465 No sightings of flying pigs. 245 00:14:57,972 --> 00:15:00,220 - What am I gonna do? - You don't know? 246 00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,526 Come on, Alan, you were married for 12 years. 247 00:15:02,739 --> 00:15:05,152 What does marriage have to do with sex? 248 00:15:05,331 --> 00:15:08,043 Point taken. Okay, you want some tips? 249 00:15:08,258 --> 00:15:10,886 No, no, nothing like that. 250 00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:13,898 I need step-by-step instructions. 251 00:15:14,404 --> 00:15:17,532 All right. Since this is your first bout in this weight class... 252 00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:19,503 ...I'd say stick with the basics. 253 00:15:19,714 --> 00:15:23,341 Better to do the simple stuff well than the fancy stuff badly. 254 00:15:23,519 --> 00:15:26,016 Got it. And the simple stuff would be... 255 00:15:26,822 --> 00:15:29,866 Well, you know how women like you to go slow? 256 00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:33,877 Really? My ex-wife put a premium on brevity. 257 00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:37,434 Her motto was, " Less is more, and none is perfect." 258 00:15:37,944 --> 00:15:41,036 Well, Sherri's not like that. You're gonna wanna take your time. 259 00:15:41,247 --> 00:15:44,090 - I can do that. - But don't loiter either. 260 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,724 You don't want her to get bored and play solitaire on your head. 261 00:15:48,606 --> 00:15:50,687 No loitering. Got it. 262 00:15:53,749 --> 00:15:56,246 - Something else? - Okay. 263 00:15:56,425 --> 00:15:59,767 When you're with a woman like Sherri, who's so gosh-darn beautiful... 264 00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:02,517 ...that you get excited just thinking about her... 265 00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:07,752 ...how do you keep the sprinklers from going off while you're still mowing? 266 00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:12,726 Let me make sure I understand. 267 00:16:13,192 --> 00:16:17,996 You wanna keep your toothpaste in the tube until you're done brushing. 268 00:16:19,338 --> 00:16:21,050 What are you talking about? 269 00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:25,895 - What are you talking about? - Okay, okay. Let me try again. 270 00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:31,411 I don't wanna frost the cake while I'm still mixing the batter. 271 00:16:32,174 --> 00:16:34,588 I don't get it. She must have lost a bet. 272 00:16:34,808 --> 00:16:37,139 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 273 00:16:37,317 --> 00:16:40,694 All right. Here's what you do. 274 00:16:44,383 --> 00:16:48,057 When you feel like the train is leaving the station... 275 00:16:48,272 --> 00:16:50,483 You mean, going in the tunnel? 276 00:16:50,697 --> 00:16:52,860 No, no, I mean leaving the station. 277 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,958 But you have to leave the station to get to the tunnel. 278 00:16:57,177 --> 00:16:59,341 Okay, okay. 279 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,898 Let's start from the top. 280 00:17:01,066 --> 00:17:03,610 And work our way down, right? 281 00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:10,381 You know what? Just shut up and listen. 282 00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:14,520 When you're making love, the way to slow yourself down is... 283 00:17:14,697 --> 00:17:17,075 ...to think of something completely non-sexual. 284 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:20,583 - Well, what do you think of? - You. 285 00:17:38,111 --> 00:17:40,787 That was a really great dinner. 286 00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:44,757 I'm glad you enjoyed it. You ready for dessert? 287 00:17:44,968 --> 00:17:46,966 I've been ready since I was 14. 288 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,066 I'll be back. Why don't you put some music on. 289 00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:53,908 Okay. 290 00:18:14,989 --> 00:18:17,451 Hey, how about Diana Krall? 291 00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:21,542 Oh, actually, that's your brother's CD. Do you mind bringing it back to him? 292 00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:22,964 Not at all. 293 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,194 I think I have one of his T-shirts. You might as well take that too. 294 00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:29,446 No problem. 295 00:18:29,665 --> 00:18:31,746 Hey, this is a cool, little CD player. 296 00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:35,306 Oh, thanks. It was a gift from your... It was a gift. 297 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,812 Perfect. 298 00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:41,071 Is there anything else Charlie left behind? 299 00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:45,051 Just me. 300 00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:51,071 My brother's a fool. 301 00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:53,445 No argument here. 302 00:18:56,006 --> 00:19:00,430 - That is a very effective negligée. - Thank you. 303 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,687 - Was it a gift? - No. 304 00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:06,122 - As a matter of fact, I bought it myself. - Oh, good. 305 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,463 - How long ago? - What? 306 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,977 Well, I was just wondering if Charlie saw it. 307 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,698 Alan, don't go there. 308 00:19:16,327 --> 00:19:19,252 Oh, I wasn't going anywhere. It's just that... 309 00:19:20,466 --> 00:19:23,844 - Nothing. More kissing. - Okay, okay. 310 00:19:24,313 --> 00:19:27,440 What exactly is bothering you? 311 00:19:28,076 --> 00:19:31,037 Well, it's kind of hard to explain. 312 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:35,180 For example, once, when Charlie and I were at camp... 313 00:19:35,351 --> 00:19:39,025 ...I lost my swim trunks, and I had to wear an old pair of Charlie's, and... 314 00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:41,742 ...I just couldn't enjoy the pool at all. 315 00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:46,883 So, what are you saying? I'm a pair of used swim trunks? 316 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:51,060 No, no. In this case, I think you would be the pool. 317 00:19:52,494 --> 00:19:53,908 Maybe this was a bad idea. 318 00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,414 No, no, it's a great idea. It's right up there... 319 00:19:56,591 --> 00:20:00,099 ...with the wheel, fire and refrigerators that give ice through the door. 320 00:20:00,313 --> 00:20:02,893 - Sorry. I don't wanna do this anymore. - What? Why? 321 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:07,122 You can't be with me without it being some competition with your brother. 322 00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:09,133 It's not a competition. 323 00:20:09,302 --> 00:20:13,060 And even it was, shouldn't we do it first before you decide who wins? 324 00:20:13,818 --> 00:20:15,150 You are unbelievable. 325 00:20:15,365 --> 00:20:18,576 - That could be taken a couple of ways. - Get out. 326 00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:21,629 Well, no ambiguity there. 327 00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,638 Don't forget your brother's CD. 328 00:20:25,107 --> 00:20:27,069 My eye! 329 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:35,842 Man, I love sunsets. 330 00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:40,324 The way the sky is streaked with color. It's amazing. 331 00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:48,853 It's the pollution that makes those pretty colors, you know. 332 00:20:49,065 --> 00:20:54,369 What you're enjoying is the effect of light passing through airborne poison. 333 00:20:57,009 --> 00:21:01,349 No, that's not what I'm really enjoying. 334 00:21:05,539 --> 00:21:07,335 Boy, I hope that's guacamole.