1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,800
English Subtitles, renamed for "LP" WebDL release :)
Two and a Half Men S03E01 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts - Web-DL [KoTuWa]

2
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,086
I'm sure she's a lovely girl, Mom...

3
00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:07,215
...but I have a strict policy
against blind dates.

4
00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:12,178
Yes, I know I'm not God's gift
to women, but nevertheless.

5
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:16,140
Oh, come on, how do you know what
she can suck through a garden hose?

6
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:20,311
It doesn't matter, the policy stands.

7
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,313
Okay, bye.

8
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,358
You know, while I applaud
your blind date policy...

9
00:00:25,524 --> 00:00:29,070
...I would encourage you to consider
a garden hose exemption.

10
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:32,573
I'm sorry, but you remember
the last time I let Mom fix me up.

11
00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:35,117
Oh, yeah, the enema freak.

12
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:38,663
She was a colonic irrigation therapist.

13
00:00:38,829 --> 00:00:41,582
Tomato, Tomahto.

14
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:45,795
You still wound up with five gallons
of coffee up your keister.

15
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,172
Not a pleasant memory.

16
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,883
Oh, I can't remember it
without chuckling.

17
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,929
These days they'll open
a Starbucks anywhere.

18
00:00:55,429 --> 00:00:58,349
- Are you done?
- No, wait, one more.

19
00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:01,811
You had the Venti nonfat
crap-puccino...

20
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:05,523
...with extra foam.

21
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,610
No, okay, I'm done.

22
00:01:09,777 --> 00:01:11,404
So, what's wrong with the TV?

23
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:15,324
The storm last night messed up the
satellite dish. I'll call the guy on Monday.

24
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,202
That's your answer for everything.
"Call the guy."

25
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,831
Not for everything.
Often, I'll call the girl.

26
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:26,544
Of course there was the one time
that the girl turned out to be the guy.

27
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,672
Needless to say,
I got a full cash refund.

28
00:01:30,339 --> 00:01:32,425
You don't have to call
the guy this time.

29
00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:34,844
You adjust the dish
till the signal clears up.

30
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,179
Which is what the guy
will do on Monday.

31
00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:38,681
But Jake is coming tonight.

32
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,976
Do you wanna listen to him complain
about the TV all weekend?

33
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,604
I can deal with Jake. It's your whining
that makes me wanna hang myself.

34
00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:47,565
Come on, help me get the ladder.

35
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:50,401
I'll go up on the roof
and we'll fix it in five minutes.

36
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,737
I have a ladder?

37
00:01:55,322 --> 00:01:57,450
How did I get a ladder?

38
00:01:58,075 --> 00:02:01,203
For the life of me,
I can't remember buying a ladder.

39
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,414
Well, apparently you did.

40
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,665
But why?

41
00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:07,543
- And how did I get it home?
- I really couldn't tell you.

42
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,378
Did I rent a truck?

43
00:02:10,337 --> 00:02:11,380
Who knows?

44
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,550
I'm telling you,
we got a real mystery on our hands.

45
00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,011
Yeah, it's a puzzler.

46
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,346
Now, I'm gonna go up
and adjust the dish...

47
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:22,892
...and you go look at the TV
and tell me when the picture improves.

48
00:02:23,058 --> 00:02:24,268
All right.

49
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,228
I still think we should call the guy.

50
00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,230
Will you forget the guy?

51
00:02:28,397 --> 00:02:29,690
I'm the guy.

52
00:02:35,404 --> 00:02:37,448
- Charlie.
- Yeah?

53
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,450
There's a pair of panties up here.

54
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:44,371
Of course, the ladder.

55
00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:48,250
- Alan, mystery solved.
- What?

56
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:51,879
Never mind. Focus on the job at hand.

57
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,215
- Are you watching the TV?
- Yes.

58
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,424
How does it look now?

59
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,134
It's a little better.

60
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,385
How about now?

61
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,970
No, no, no. That's worse.

62
00:03:00,095 --> 00:03:02,056
- Move it the other way.
- What?

63
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,225
I said, move it the other way.

64
00:03:04,391 --> 00:03:07,102
- There, there, there. That's perfect.
- What?

65
00:03:07,269 --> 00:03:09,063
I said that's perfect.

66
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,149
Great. Coming down.

67
00:03:16,153 --> 00:03:18,113
Did you say something?

68
00:03:42,996 --> 00:03:45,540
I told you.
We should have called the guy.

69
00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:53,840
Oh, you wanna flip me the bird,
but the poor little fellow can't fly.

70
00:03:55,675 --> 00:03:57,135
Just help me lie down.

71
00:03:57,594 --> 00:04:00,096
- There is a bright side here, you know.
- Oh, really?

72
00:04:00,221 --> 00:04:04,434
Really? And what might the
bright side be? Handicapped parking?

73
00:04:09,147 --> 00:04:11,191
Pity sex?

74
00:04:12,775 --> 00:04:15,945
You know, I can see there's gonna be
no talking to you about this.

75
00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:19,449
Oh, do me a favor and call Judith
and tell her not to bring Jake over.

76
00:04:19,574 --> 00:04:21,159
How come?

77
00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:22,619
Look at me, Charlie.

78
00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:26,080
I have abrasions, contusions,
a severely sprained neck...

79
00:04:26,205 --> 00:04:29,375
...two fractured fingers,
and I'm hopped up on pain pills.

80
00:04:29,542 --> 00:04:31,878
Does that spell weekend dad to you?

81
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,296
Actually, to me it spells:

82
00:04:33,463 --> 00:04:36,007
"Weekend in Bangkok
with two Olympic gymnasts."

83
00:04:38,635 --> 00:04:40,887
But that's a whole other story.

84
00:04:41,804 --> 00:04:45,099
Look, I got no plans for the weekend.
I could take care of Jake.

85
00:04:45,266 --> 00:04:48,770
- Bangkok?
- Lt was the '80s.

86
00:04:48,937 --> 00:04:50,229
A simpler time.

87
00:04:51,731 --> 00:04:52,857
The dollar was strong.

88
00:04:54,192 --> 00:04:56,986
I was looking forward to hanging out
with the knucklehead.

89
00:04:57,153 --> 00:04:58,655
Let him come over.

90
00:04:58,821 --> 00:05:01,282
I can't help you.
What will you do all weekend?

91
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,493
I don't know.
Hey, maybe I'll get a chute.

92
00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:07,121
We could play Chutes and Ladders.

93
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:15,421
You see. See, that's why I want Jake
here. He has a sense of humor.

94
00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:19,217
Oh, all right.
If you think you can handle it.

95
00:05:19,384 --> 00:05:21,177
Don't worry,
I got everything covered.

96
00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:22,970
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

97
00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:25,306
Is there anything I can do
for you now?

98
00:05:26,683 --> 00:05:27,850
Well, I gotta pee.

99
00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:31,938
Yeah, so?

100
00:05:32,105 --> 00:05:35,441
So I can't undo my pants...

101
00:05:35,858 --> 00:05:37,485
...or anything.

102
00:05:38,277 --> 00:05:40,279
Where are we headed with this, Alan?

103
00:05:41,197 --> 00:05:42,323
You said you'd help me.

104
00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:44,867
I was thinking like
I could make you a sandwich.

105
00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:47,537
- Charlie!
- Hey, I am not reaching into your pants.

106
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:50,123
Well, what am I supposed to do?

107
00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:53,042
Go stand in the surf.

108
00:05:54,335 --> 00:05:57,213
Come on, grow up.

109
00:05:57,463 --> 00:05:59,340
- Where are you going?
- To the bathroom.

110
00:05:59,507 --> 00:06:00,842
Now, come on and unzip me.

111
00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:04,387
Just like that? Right to it?
No dinner? No movie?

112
00:06:04,554 --> 00:06:06,222
Charlie!

113
00:06:06,973 --> 00:06:08,724
Hold on.

114
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,232
Coming.

115
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:34,709
Holy God.

116
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:41,299
Charlie, can you get the door?

117
00:06:43,217 --> 00:06:44,385
Charlie?

118
00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:48,222
Hang on.

119
00:06:48,514 --> 00:06:50,558
Charlie!

120
00:06:53,603 --> 00:06:58,065
Oh, great,
I think I just punctured a lung.

121
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:06,032
"Don't worry, Alan.
I've got everything covered."

122
00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:13,372
I'm coming.

123
00:07:33,559 --> 00:07:35,853
You need to start your report
this weekend.

124
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,022
Why?
It's not due till next Wednesday.

125
00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:40,483
- I've plenty of time.
- You said that last time.

126
00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:42,193
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

127
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,570
I think you're getting senile.

128
00:07:45,613 --> 00:07:47,073
Watch your mouth, young man.

129
00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:50,034
I can't watch it. It's under my nose.

130
00:07:52,787 --> 00:07:54,956
- Hello.
- What happened to you?

131
00:07:55,414 --> 00:07:59,794
Well, most recently,
I was hit in the head by a door.

132
00:08:00,294 --> 00:08:03,297
But before that, I was fixing
the satellite dish on the roof...

133
00:08:03,464 --> 00:08:05,216
...and I kind of fell.

134
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,135
Why didn't you just call the guy?

135
00:08:11,347 --> 00:08:14,809
For God's sake, Alan, how do you intend
to look after him this weekend?

136
00:08:14,976 --> 00:08:19,647
I am in excruciating pain,
but I appreciate your concern.

137
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,317
Oh, well, you could've picked up
a phone and given me a heads up.

138
00:08:23,484 --> 00:08:24,735
Pick up the phone?

139
00:08:24,902 --> 00:08:28,447
Judith, I needed barbecue tongs
to take a leak.

140
00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:31,117
Can you look after Jake or not?

141
00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:33,536
- Charlie said he'd look after him.
- Like hell.

142
00:08:33,661 --> 00:08:37,415
There's no way I'll let your degenerate
brother be responsible for my son.

143
00:08:37,581 --> 00:08:39,125
Sure, don't ask me what I want.

144
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:43,170
Just boss me around
like you're my boss or something.

145
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,842
Charlie will be fine.
Have a good weekend.

146
00:08:49,719 --> 00:08:51,011
Thanks.

147
00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:53,639
You too.

148
00:08:55,391 --> 00:08:57,810
Hey, can we go out to dinner tonight?

149
00:08:57,977 --> 00:09:00,396
Do I look like I'm in any shape
to go to dinner?

150
00:09:00,563 --> 00:09:03,107
I don't know. I'm not a doctor.

151
00:09:03,524 --> 00:09:05,735
- The answer is no.
- Okay.

152
00:09:06,652 --> 00:09:09,864
Then can we go to the video store
and rent the new "Final Fantasy"?

153
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:12,742
Jake, I hurt myself.
I'm in a lot of pain.

154
00:09:12,908 --> 00:09:16,287
So? When I took a soccer ball
to the nads, I was in a lot of pain...

155
00:09:16,454 --> 00:09:19,248
...and all my coach said was,
"Walk it off."

156
00:09:20,374 --> 00:09:22,501
Well, you can't just walk this off.

157
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:24,462
Not with that attitude.

158
00:09:26,714 --> 00:09:28,632
Hey, there he is.
How's it going, buddy?

159
00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:30,217
My life stinks.

160
00:09:30,384 --> 00:09:32,011
Cheer up, you're still a kid.

161
00:09:32,178 --> 00:09:34,513
It's gonna get much worse.

162
00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:36,891
- Where have you been?
- Taking a nap.

163
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,895
- Why?
- I find it refreshes me.

164
00:09:41,061 --> 00:09:43,355
You said you were gonna take care
of everything.

165
00:09:43,522 --> 00:09:44,773
Yeah, so?

166
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,693
So while you were sleeping,
I had to answer the door.

167
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:50,613
Do you realize how petty
you sound right now?

168
00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:54,283
- Relax, lie down, I got it covered.
- No, you don't.

169
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:57,453
Nothing is covered. It's all cover-less.

170
00:09:58,454 --> 00:10:01,332
Now, there is a life that stinks.

171
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:03,292
What's the agenda?
What do you want?

172
00:10:03,459 --> 00:10:07,087
- I wanna go out to dinner.
- Yeah, well, I want my own talk show.

173
00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:08,547
You'll eat what we've got.

174
00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:09,924
Why can't we go out?

175
00:10:10,883 --> 00:10:13,594
Alan, I can't deal with this.
Talk to your son.

176
00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:15,721
That's it? You're done covering?

177
00:10:15,888 --> 00:10:18,224
I didn't know
he was gonna be impossible.

178
00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:21,894
- Don't talk about me like I'm not here.
- Keep yapping and you won't be.

179
00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:26,190
- Charlie, just take him to dinner.
- Why should I?

180
00:10:26,398 --> 00:10:28,317
He's not gonna shut up till he gets it.

181
00:10:28,484 --> 00:10:30,402
That's true. I'll drive you crazy.

182
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,821
Yeah, well, do your worst.

183
00:10:34,031 --> 00:10:36,533
If we go out to dinner,
there's nothing to clean up.

184
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,826
We're not going out.

185
00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:40,621
- You usually wanna go out to dinner.
- Not tonight.

186
00:10:40,746 --> 00:10:44,375
You're not punishing me,
you're just punishing yourself.

187
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:46,877
Back off, bobblehead.

188
00:10:49,129 --> 00:10:50,756
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

189
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,800
- We're not going.
- Why not?

190
00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:56,595
- This conversation's over.
- Not if I keep talking.

191
00:10:59,515 --> 00:11:01,141
So where do you wanna eat?

192
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,685
Clucky's.

193
00:11:03,435 --> 00:11:04,645
What's Clucky's?

194
00:11:04,812 --> 00:11:06,313
Zesty fire-roasted chicken...

195
00:11:06,438 --> 00:11:09,942
...with Grandma Clucky's
secret herbs and spices.

196
00:11:10,359 --> 00:11:12,444
All right, where is it?

197
00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:14,989
There's several convenient locations.

198
00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:16,448
Like where?

199
00:11:16,657 --> 00:11:18,367
I don't know. I just sit in the car.

200
00:11:18,826 --> 00:11:20,494
I've never seen a Clucky's here.

201
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:21,787
- How about a pizza?
- No.

202
00:11:21,954 --> 00:11:22,997
- Burgers?
- No.

203
00:11:23,163 --> 00:11:24,206
Sushi?

204
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:25,958
- Italian? Chinese?
- No.

205
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:27,167
- Clucky's?
- No.

206
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,585
You're not even listening.

207
00:11:28,752 --> 00:11:30,337
I mean yes.

208
00:11:30,504 --> 00:11:32,006
Clucky's.

209
00:11:32,172 --> 00:11:35,592
I'm not driving all over the city
hoping to stumble across a Clucky's.

210
00:11:36,969 --> 00:11:39,013
This isn't the Clucky's my mom
takes me to.

211
00:11:39,179 --> 00:11:40,597
No kidding.

212
00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:42,266
Where are we anyway?

213
00:11:42,641 --> 00:11:44,643
It's called Watts.

214
00:11:56,697 --> 00:11:59,241
Hurry up and finish your chicken.

215
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:01,034
I like the Cajun Clucky's better.

216
00:12:01,201 --> 00:12:02,327
Good for you.

217
00:12:02,494 --> 00:12:05,706
- Can I go back and get Cajun Clucky's?
- No, eat what you got.

218
00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:09,460
- But I like the Cajun Clucky's.
- Why did you order the regular Clucky's?

219
00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:11,879
Because I forgot
I like the Cajun Clucky's.

220
00:12:12,379 --> 00:12:14,381
Oh, just eat the freaking chicken.

221
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:16,508
Fine.

222
00:12:17,801 --> 00:12:20,012
Why do you say freaking?
I know what you mean.

223
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:22,473
- I'm not a little kid anymore.
- Eat.

224
00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:24,183
Don't talk. Eat!

225
00:12:35,986 --> 00:12:37,613
What's up?

226
00:12:48,206 --> 00:12:49,999
I gotta pee.

227
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:57,006
Charlie, get the tongs.

228
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,218
Charlie?

229
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,641
Gotta pee, gotta pee,
Gotta pee, pee, pee

230
00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:08,142
Gotta pee, pee, pee

231
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,811
Gotta pee, gotta pee,
Gotta pee, pee, pee, gotta pee

232
00:13:11,062 --> 00:13:14,315
Alan, I've got somebody
who wants to meet you.

233
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,283
Not a good time, Mom.

234
00:13:24,992 --> 00:13:26,953
Yes, I can see that.

235
00:13:27,119 --> 00:13:28,287
Are you all right?

236
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,499
No, not really.

237
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,835
Oh, my poor baby.

238
00:13:37,088 --> 00:13:39,548
Well, anyway, Mona, Alan.

239
00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:40,841
Alan, Mona.

240
00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:43,386
Hi, Mona.

241
00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:47,515
Hello. What happened to you?

242
00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:51,102
I was fixing a satellite dish
and I fell off the roof.

243
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,813
Well, why didn't you just call the guy?

244
00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:57,692
You wanna know
why I didn't call the guy?

245
00:13:57,858 --> 00:13:59,986
I'll tell you why I didn't call the guy.

246
00:14:00,152 --> 00:14:02,071
Because you don't need
to call the guy.

247
00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:04,740
It's a simple adjustment
that any idiot can do.

248
00:14:04,907 --> 00:14:07,326
And, yes, I know,
this idiot fell off the roof...

249
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:12,957
...but it was after I fixed it
all by myself, no guy.

250
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:17,420
Okay, the ice has been broken.
I'll just give you Mona's number...

251
00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:20,423
...and you can call her some time
when it's more convenient.

252
00:14:20,589 --> 00:14:21,716
Come along, dear.

253
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:25,052
Do you just stay awake nights...

254
00:14:25,177 --> 00:14:27,680
...trying to think of new ways
to embarrass me?

255
00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:32,977
Still gotta pee.

256
00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:34,854
Oh, God.

257
00:14:37,314 --> 00:14:39,608
Oh, what the hell.

258
00:14:44,947 --> 00:14:48,659
Oh, yeah.
The Cajun Clucky's is way better.

259
00:14:49,994 --> 00:14:52,872
I'll notify Zagats.

260
00:14:53,622 --> 00:14:56,333
Before we stop at the video store,
can we get ice cream?

261
00:14:56,500 --> 00:15:00,046
- Who said we're stopping?
- I wanna rent the new "Final Fantasy."

262
00:15:00,212 --> 00:15:02,214
Yeah eah, well, I want my
$80,000 Mercedes...

263
00:15:02,339 --> 00:15:04,592
...not to smell like chicken.

264
00:15:04,759 --> 00:15:06,927
But life is full
of little disappointments.

265
00:15:07,094 --> 00:15:10,264
Okay, forget the ice cream.
We'll just stop at the video store.

266
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,892
Jake, I'm tired, I've got a headache.

267
00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:16,979
I just paid $100 to get
my car back from the "chicken valet."

268
00:15:18,147 --> 00:15:19,732
And I wanna go home.

269
00:15:20,483 --> 00:15:21,567
Please?

270
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,445
I'm sorry. What part of no
did you not understand?

271
00:15:24,612 --> 00:15:26,447
The "nnn" or the "ooo"?

272
00:15:28,324 --> 00:15:30,618
How about if we stop
in front of the store...

273
00:15:30,785 --> 00:15:33,746
...I'll run in, get the video game,
and you wait in the car?

274
00:15:33,913 --> 00:15:35,915
How about we stop
by the video store...

275
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:38,375
...and I just stuff you
through the return slot?

276
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,085
I wouldn't fit.

277
00:15:40,252 --> 00:15:42,129
Try me.

278
00:15:42,296 --> 00:15:44,548
Oh, come on,
it will only take a minute.

279
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:48,135
You might be able to bully your parents
into doing whatever you want...

280
00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:49,929
...but when I say no, that's it.

281
00:15:50,095 --> 00:15:53,265
Okay. Then I guess I won't have
a video game to play this weekend.

282
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:55,643
Exactly.
You'll find something else to do.

283
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,937
Right. It will just be you and me.

284
00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:06,195
- They're all out of "Final Fantasy."
- So get something else.

285
00:16:06,362 --> 00:16:08,322
But I want "Final Fantasy."

286
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,574
Are you telling me that out
of this store...

287
00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:14,787
...thousands of movies and video games,
there's nothing here that interests you?

288
00:16:14,954 --> 00:16:16,914
You're not gonna like the answer.

289
00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:20,459
I'm having chest pains.

290
00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:24,797
You're giving me chest pains.

291
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,092
I bet they have "Final Fantasy"
at another store.

292
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:29,718
You want a final fantasy?

293
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:33,681
Close your eyes and imagine yourself
flying across a freaking video store...

294
00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:35,891
...because that's what's about
to happen.

295
00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:37,476
Again with the freaking.

296
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:42,815
Excuse me, but did I hear you say
you were looking for "Final Fantasy"?

297
00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,442
I was about to return one,
you can have it.

298
00:16:45,609 --> 00:16:47,152
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

299
00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:51,865
- Oh, he's really something, isn't he?
- Oh, yeah, he's something.

300
00:16:52,074 --> 00:16:54,618
The question is, what?

301
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:56,912
I have a boy his age.

302
00:16:57,079 --> 00:16:58,789
- Single mom.
- Single uncle.

303
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:00,833
- Betsy.
- Charlie.

304
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:03,127
- Jake.
- Nobody asked you.

305
00:17:04,128 --> 00:17:06,255
Betsy, maybe we can get
the boys together...

306
00:17:06,422 --> 00:17:08,132
...for a little play date some time.

307
00:17:08,299 --> 00:17:10,718
I don't want a play date
with some stupid kid...

308
00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:12,720
...just so you can have sex with her.

309
00:17:19,268 --> 00:17:20,561
Isn't he something?

310
00:17:21,145 --> 00:17:23,856
Yeah. Well, it was nice meeting you.

311
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:27,568
Bye-bye.

312
00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:31,739
What?

313
00:17:31,905 --> 00:17:33,157
Are you happy?

314
00:17:36,535 --> 00:17:38,037
Pretty much. You?

315
00:18:06,148 --> 00:18:08,400
Hello.

316
00:18:14,323 --> 00:18:16,450
"Controlled substance.

317
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:21,163
Do not exceed one pill
every six hours."

318
00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:23,165
Yeah, right.

319
00:18:28,837 --> 00:18:32,674
What fresh childproof hell is this?

320
00:18:35,219 --> 00:18:37,638
Come on, you bastard.

321
00:18:42,851 --> 00:18:44,686
Yes.

322
00:18:53,529 --> 00:18:57,032
- What are we doing?
- I'm taking you back to your mother.

323
00:18:58,116 --> 00:18:59,243
Why?

324
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,162
Why? I'll tell you why.

325
00:19:02,329 --> 00:19:04,873
Because you're no fun anymore.

326
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,501
Because the whole
"isn't he cute" thing is over.

327
00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:10,963
I tell you, if this is a prelude
to what you'll be as a teenager...

328
00:19:11,129 --> 00:19:13,090
...then we've got a serious problem.

329
00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:14,800
Whatever.

330
00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:18,887
You see, right there,
that attitude does not fly with me.

331
00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:20,722
Whatever.

332
00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:28,772
God, I hope that's the chicken.

333
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,945
She's not home.

334
00:19:36,947 --> 00:19:38,615
Do not "ha-ha" me.

335
00:19:38,782 --> 00:19:40,492
Never "ha-ha" me.

336
00:19:41,368 --> 00:19:44,371
Judith, come get your kid.

337
00:19:45,872 --> 00:19:47,916
Don't hide behind the couch.

338
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,502
I can see you, Judith.

339
00:20:08,145 --> 00:20:10,188
Hey, how about some ice cream?

340
00:20:11,982 --> 00:20:13,191
Sure.

341
00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:16,570
Listen, I'm sorry I lost my temper.

342
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:19,781
Sorry you slipped in dog crap
chasing me.

343
00:20:21,283 --> 00:20:22,868
Thank you.

344
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,746
Now, you know that I love you...

345
00:20:25,912 --> 00:20:29,166
...but we gotta be clear
on a couple of things.

346
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,835
I get that you're growing up,
your body's changing...

347
00:20:32,002 --> 00:20:33,378
...your emotions are in flux.

348
00:20:33,503 --> 00:20:39,009
But the important thing you need to keep
in mind is that I don't care.

349
00:20:41,178 --> 00:20:43,638
When you're in my house,
when you're out with me...

350
00:20:43,805 --> 00:20:45,891
...and especially
when we're around women...

351
00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:48,727
...you will be adorable, got it?

352
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:51,021
I'm trying to concentrate.

353
00:20:51,563 --> 00:20:54,399
Don't shush me. Never shush me.

354
00:20:54,816 --> 00:20:55,859
Whatever.

355
00:21:02,991 --> 00:21:04,034
Please be the chicken.

356
00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:12,584
Pour me one of those, will you?

357
00:21:14,377 --> 00:21:18,090
You know, mixing those pills
with alcohol is a really bad idea.

358
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,761
Not if you're trying to die.

359
00:21:29,101 --> 00:21:31,853
Hey, how many of those pills
you got left?

360
00:21:55,919 --> 00:21:58,004
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

361
00:21:58,171 --> 00:22:00,257
[ENGLISH]