1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,960 Not only did that movie suck, it blew chunks, bit the big one... 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,960 ...and then came back and sucked again. 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,240 - Did you pay for it? - Yeah. 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,720 With an hour and a half of my childhood that I'll never get back. 5 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,480 Hey, I've seen your childhood. It's not a big loss. 6 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,040 - You said you wanted to see it. - It was rated R. 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,560 But there wasn't a single boob in it. 8 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,720 - You were there. - Oh, my God. 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,840 I know, and he talks to me that way all the time. 10 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,640 That's Cynthia Sullivan. 11 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:30,920 Who is Cynthia Sullivan? 12 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,000 - She and her husband used to be friends. - Yeah, so? 13 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,080 I haven't seen her since Judith and I split. 14 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,640 I don't know if I should say hello. They took Judith's side in the divorce. 15 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,360 Wait a minute. We're allowed to take sides? 16 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,960 Nobody told me. Is it too late? 17 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,480 That's not funny, Charlie. 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,880 He's very hurtful to everybody, and for no reason. 19 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,440 Alan? 20 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,400 Oh, hey, Cynthia. 21 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:55,960 - Hi. - Wow, what a nice surprise. 22 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,880 - How are you? - Just great. 23 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,640 It's been a long time. 24 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,880 Hi, Jake. Look how big you're getting. 25 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,400 It's called puberty. 26 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:06,400 It's called doughnuts. 27 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,400 Doughnuts don't make hair. 28 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,920 Cynthia, this is my brother, Charlie. 29 00:01:15,079 --> 00:01:16,080 - Hello. - Hi. 30 00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:18,640 Cynthia and her husband were friends with me... 31 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,000 ...back when we were, you know, me and Judith. 32 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,520 - And when we were me and Bill. - You're not with Bill anymore? 33 00:01:24,679 --> 00:01:26,920 No. We decided to finally stop kidding ourselves. 34 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,760 - You know how it is. - I do. 35 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,000 No, you don't. 36 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,760 Of course I do. 37 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,680 - Did you get the house in the divorce? - Yes. 38 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,679 Not sleeping on your brother's Hide-A-Bed? 39 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,800 - No. - You don't know how it is. 40 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,760 Again, completely unmotivated. 41 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,760 Well, okay. It was really nice to see you again, Alan. 42 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,559 - We should get together sometime. - Yeah, that would be nice. 43 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,840 Nice meeting you. Bye, Jake. 44 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,760 - You dog. - What? 45 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,999 Oh, come on, the full-frontal hug, the "let's get together." 46 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,120 Isn't that like soccer mom talk for "Do me in the cul-de-sac"? 47 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,760 - What are you snickering at? - Oh, tell me that's not dirty. 48 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,560 Go get us a table. Come on. Charlie, you don't understand. 49 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,560 She and her husband were our best friends for like 10 years. 50 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,880 We traveled together. We spent vacations together. 51 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,000 And you never fantasized about boinking her? 52 00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:28,439 She was Judith's friend. I was her husband's friend. 53 00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:30,359 Of course I did. 54 00:02:32,279 --> 00:02:34,720 Yeah, hi. Two regular coffees, please. 55 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:40,040 And one chocolate crappuccino with whipped cream and sprinkles. 56 00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:43,640 Well, here's your chance to fulfill your fantasy. 57 00:02:43,799 --> 00:02:45,560 - Oh, no, no, I couldn't. - Why not? 58 00:02:45,719 --> 00:02:48,120 I don't wanna upset Judith. They're still friends. 59 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,479 Alan, the fact that you're still drawing breath upsets Judith. 60 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,359 I couldn't go out with Cynthia without clearing it with her. 61 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,600 I am not whipped. What if the positions were reversed? 62 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,039 Like Judith was single and wanted to date you? 63 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,240 I would certainly want her to check with me before I, you know... 64 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,959 ...blew my brains out. 65 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,960 Is that all it would take? What's her number? 66 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,320 - Where did you get that? - I found it on the table. 67 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,480 Oh, Jake. 68 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,800 It's okay. I'm eating on the side without teeth marks. 69 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,480 Puberty, my ass. That's a missing chromosome. 70 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,960 No, I'm pretty sure it's a bear claw. 71 00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:05,184 - Hey, honey, how was...? - Not now. I gotta go to the bathroom. 72 00:04:06,984 --> 00:04:09,424 Please tell me you didn't let him eat a lot of crap. 73 00:04:09,584 --> 00:04:12,064 Let him? Judith, our son is a billy goat. 74 00:04:13,344 --> 00:04:16,704 I wouldn't be surprised if he's in there pooping out tin cans. 75 00:04:16,864 --> 00:04:18,224 - Lovely. - Oh, wait, Judith. 76 00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:21,584 - I wanted to ask you something. - What? 77 00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:25,064 Well, we were just having coffee, and I happened to run into... 78 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,304 Charlie, can you give us a minute? 79 00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:29,504 No, I wanna watch this. 80 00:04:31,144 --> 00:04:34,224 - Why? - I think it might amuse me. 81 00:04:35,544 --> 00:04:37,664 Yeah, well, seek amusement elsewhere. 82 00:04:38,784 --> 00:04:40,424 Fine. I'll go talk to Herb. 83 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,864 Of all Judith's husbands, he's my favorite anyway. 84 00:04:45,944 --> 00:04:50,544 You know, Jake's right. Sometimes you can be hurtful for no reason at all. 85 00:04:50,704 --> 00:04:52,544 So who did you run into? 86 00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:55,784 - Oh, Cynthia Sullivan. - Okay. So? 87 00:04:56,544 --> 00:04:59,304 Well, I know you're still friends, and I was wondering... 88 00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:02,384 ...if you'd be okay if I asked her out. 89 00:05:03,024 --> 00:05:04,744 - Fine. - Really? 90 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,984 Sure. You're both adults. You're both single... 91 00:05:07,144 --> 00:05:10,024 ...and, most importantly, she won't go out with you. 92 00:05:11,304 --> 00:05:12,864 - How do you know? - I know. 93 00:05:13,024 --> 00:05:14,704 Has she said something to you? 94 00:05:14,864 --> 00:05:16,384 No, but you're not her type. 95 00:05:16,944 --> 00:05:19,544 - Oh, really? What is her type? - Well, like her ex-husband. 96 00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:22,464 Smart, funny, sensitive, good-Iooking. 97 00:05:23,504 --> 00:05:27,064 - And that's not me? - No, no. You can be funny. 98 00:05:28,144 --> 00:05:30,464 Okay, okay. But if she did agree to go out with me... 99 00:05:30,624 --> 00:05:32,544 ...you'd be okay with that? - But she won't. 100 00:05:32,704 --> 00:05:34,944 - But if she did? She might. - She won't. She won't. 101 00:05:38,624 --> 00:05:42,104 You know, Charlie's not the only one who can be hurtful for no reason. 102 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:46,064 You know, Herb, that is a fine, fine hat. 103 00:05:46,504 --> 00:05:49,544 Gotta wear it. Otherwise, I freckle like a banana. 104 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:54,144 Well, I wouldn't want your banana to get freckled. 105 00:05:54,904 --> 00:05:56,744 - Let's go, Charlie. - Hang on, hang on. 106 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,664 We're having a real interesting conversation here. 107 00:05:59,824 --> 00:06:02,944 Hey, Herb, tell Alan what you told me about how you plant seeds. 108 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,544 Well, first I make sure the soil is moist. 109 00:06:08,224 --> 00:06:09,504 And tell him how you do that. 110 00:06:10,144 --> 00:06:13,024 Well, I just stick my finger into old mother earth. 111 00:06:15,223 --> 00:06:18,864 If it comes up dry, I just whip out my hose and give it a good spritz. 112 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,104 And then? 113 00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:23,424 And then I carefully plant the seed in the soil. 114 00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:25,984 Carefully? Why carefully? 115 00:06:26,504 --> 00:06:30,144 Because if you just fling that stuff around, half of it's wasted. 116 00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:36,944 You hear that, Alan? If you fling your seed around, it gets wasted. 117 00:06:37,983 --> 00:06:40,624 - Fascinating. Let's go. - Now hold on, hold on. 118 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:44,784 How do you feel about bushes, Herb? 119 00:06:46,024 --> 00:06:48,704 Well, I like a full bush. 120 00:06:50,784 --> 00:06:52,904 The way God intended. 121 00:06:54,784 --> 00:06:56,783 I like them trimmed. 122 00:06:57,743 --> 00:06:59,824 - What about you, Alan? - We're going. Bye, Herb. 123 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,504 Bye, fellas. 124 00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:05,423 - Why do you do that to him? - It amuses me. 125 00:07:09,104 --> 00:07:11,944 Oh, oh, great. So I will pick you up tonight at 7. 126 00:07:12,104 --> 00:07:14,784 Yeah, yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. 127 00:07:14,944 --> 00:07:16,464 Okay, okay. Bye. 128 00:07:21,904 --> 00:07:23,064 Yes. 129 00:07:24,024 --> 00:07:27,223 Judith said Cynthia wouldn't go out with me, and she was wrong, so: 130 00:07:28,704 --> 00:07:31,584 - Look, I told you she'd go out with you. - And you were right, sir. 131 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,104 I ignore you at my own peril... 132 00:07:33,263 --> 00:07:35,984 ...when it comes to women, liquor and venereal disease. 133 00:07:38,544 --> 00:07:39,544 Then listen to me now. 134 00:07:40,624 --> 00:07:42,303 Be prepared for sex tonight. 135 00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:44,544 Sex? It's a first date. 136 00:07:45,104 --> 00:07:47,943 Not really. You and Cynthia are old friends. You know each other. 137 00:07:48,104 --> 00:07:51,264 You like each other. You might as well smell like each other. 138 00:07:51,424 --> 00:07:54,304 - No, I don't think so. Not Cynthia. - Not Cynthia? 139 00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:57,784 Alan, the woman's pushing 40. She's coming off a divorce. 140 00:07:57,943 --> 00:08:00,864 And praying that her looks hold out so she can snag some loser... 141 00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,824 ...she wouldn't have been caught dead with five years ago. 142 00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:06,583 Oh, boy, I'm getting laid tonight. 143 00:08:09,183 --> 00:08:12,223 - I'm saying. - I wish I could rub Judith's nose in this. 144 00:08:12,384 --> 00:08:14,663 That would be a huge: 145 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:16,743 Don't worry. Judith will find out. 146 00:08:16,904 --> 00:08:19,424 - Are you gonna tell her? - No. 147 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,224 Would you? 148 00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:24,744 Alan, Cynthia will tell her. 149 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,983 - Oh, right, right, they're friends. - More importantly, they're women. 150 00:08:28,144 --> 00:08:30,064 You know how they are: 151 00:08:31,464 --> 00:08:33,183 They tell each other everything. 152 00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:36,704 Trust me, it'll be like Judith is watching every move you make tonight. 153 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,503 Every move? 154 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:43,544 - So bring your A game. - Right, right. 155 00:08:47,624 --> 00:08:49,344 What if I don't have an A game? 156 00:08:50,544 --> 00:08:54,624 You better find one, because you don't wanna get yanked off the mound. 157 00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:05,344 - Where you going? - To warm up the old pitching arm. 158 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:11,264 - I'm using a metaphor. - So am I. 159 00:09:15,784 --> 00:09:18,904 Oh, Alan, I have fantasized about this for so long. 160 00:09:19,064 --> 00:09:21,424 Me too. Ever since we all went to Disney World... 161 00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:24,584 ...and you wore that white T-shirt on Splash Mountain. 162 00:09:24,743 --> 00:09:26,464 Are you sure this isn't going too fast? 163 00:09:26,624 --> 00:09:28,784 Not a chance. I've been warming up all afternoon. 164 00:09:30,184 --> 00:09:32,384 Oh, real smooth, Alan. 165 00:09:32,544 --> 00:09:36,303 Go, ahead. I'm just gonna sit here and watch every move you make. 166 00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:48,904 Oh, Alan, that was remarkable. 167 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,105 Remarkable good, right? 168 00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:55,584 Oh, yeah. 169 00:10:05,944 --> 00:10:09,825 I have to admit, I was a little worried that this might be awkward. 170 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:10,984 How come? 171 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,505 Well, I mean, you know, I am friends with Judith. 172 00:10:13,665 --> 00:10:15,624 - We do talk. - No kidding. 173 00:10:15,784 --> 00:10:20,424 Well, the next time you talk, be sure to use the word "remarkable." 174 00:10:21,144 --> 00:10:24,944 Oh, Alan, look, I'm not like that. I mean, I believe in discretion. 175 00:10:25,104 --> 00:10:27,064 Really? I think it's overrated. 176 00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:30,265 - Go ahead. Tell her. - No. 177 00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:33,665 I wish Judith had a little more discretion. 178 00:10:33,825 --> 00:10:34,824 What do you mean? 179 00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:38,264 Well, she just goes on and on about her sex life with Herb. 180 00:10:39,425 --> 00:10:41,785 Big Bird's pretty boring, huh? 181 00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:46,585 No. I mean, the way she tells it, he is an amazing lover. 182 00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:49,104 Yeah, that's what I thought... Wait. 183 00:10:50,624 --> 00:10:54,184 Wait, wait. Herb Melnick is an amazing lover? 184 00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:57,224 Yeah. She said he was the best that she's ever had. 185 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,305 No. No. 186 00:11:00,464 --> 00:11:03,865 That can't possibly be right. 187 00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:05,424 How can that be? 188 00:11:05,584 --> 00:11:08,905 Well, apparently, he's just... 189 00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:11,024 No, I can't go into that. 190 00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:13,104 Sure, you can. Go ahead. 191 00:11:13,264 --> 00:11:15,424 No. You know, it wouldn't be right. 192 00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:19,065 I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything. 193 00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:28,265 Best she's ever had. 194 00:11:48,504 --> 00:11:51,064 Oh, Herb, you're the best I've ever had. 195 00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:57,745 - Morning. - Morning. 196 00:11:58,904 --> 00:12:01,224 So how'd it go last night? 197 00:12:01,784 --> 00:12:03,864 You were right. We had sex. 198 00:12:05,864 --> 00:12:09,144 Then why the long face, Seabiscuit? 199 00:12:12,224 --> 00:12:15,585 You're so much better than the only other man I've ever been with. 200 00:12:17,225 --> 00:12:19,545 I've just got something on my mind. 201 00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:21,504 Like what? 202 00:12:21,864 --> 00:12:23,945 I had no idea what I was missing. 203 00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:28,904 Forget it. 204 00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,824 - Oh, come on. What's bothering you? - Nothing. I'm fine. 205 00:12:44,105 --> 00:12:45,784 Oh, come on. 206 00:12:49,744 --> 00:12:51,304 Come on, what? 207 00:12:51,864 --> 00:12:55,144 In what universe is Herb Melnick a better lover than me? 208 00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:56,744 Herb Melnick? 209 00:12:56,904 --> 00:12:59,704 I thought you had sex with Cynthia last night. 210 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:01,504 I did, but you know what she told me? 211 00:13:01,664 --> 00:13:05,225 That Judith told her that Herb was the best lover she's ever had. 212 00:13:06,464 --> 00:13:09,304 How does that come up while you're boffing Cynthia? 213 00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:13,224 - What difference does it make? - I'm just trying to picture the context. 214 00:13:13,384 --> 00:13:15,304 "Oh, Cynthia, I am so turned on right now. 215 00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:17,304 I wonder how Herb does it to Judith." 216 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,665 No, it wasn't like that. 217 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,464 Okay, was it like, "Golly, you have firm buttocks. 218 00:13:21,624 --> 00:13:24,144 You know who else has a nice ass? Herb Melnick"? 219 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,984 I didn't bring up the subject of Herb's sexual prowess. Cynthia did. 220 00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:30,704 Oh, that's never a good sign. 221 00:13:31,384 --> 00:13:34,384 Fifteen years Judith and I were together. Twelve years of marriage... 222 00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:36,784 ...and the best sex we ever had was mediocre. 223 00:13:37,144 --> 00:13:39,304 If you were having bad sex, why did you marry her? 224 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,144 What kind of stupid question is that? I told you, we were having sex. 225 00:13:44,984 --> 00:13:47,864 But she never enjoyed it. Certainly never sought it out. 226 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:51,584 Then Herb Melnick comes along with his tousled hair and goofy charm... 227 00:13:51,744 --> 00:13:54,504 ...and lights her up like an all-night liquor store. 228 00:13:57,024 --> 00:13:59,584 So you're saying Farmer Herb's tilling soil... 229 00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,464 ...you couldn't even get your hoe into. 230 00:14:02,864 --> 00:14:06,744 - My hoe? - Yeah. You know, with an E? Hoe. 231 00:14:07,384 --> 00:14:09,544 - Fine, yes. - And it's bothering you to know... 232 00:14:09,704 --> 00:14:13,384 ...that night after night he's planting a tree in Israel. 233 00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:15,504 By Israel, I mean, Judith. 234 00:14:17,384 --> 00:14:18,984 - Yes. - And by tree, I mean... 235 00:14:19,144 --> 00:14:22,544 I know what you mean. Okay, I get it. God, why do you do this to me? 236 00:14:23,024 --> 00:14:25,584 Haven't I made that clear? It amuses me. 237 00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:29,064 It's driving me nuts. I mean, what's his secret? How does he do it? 238 00:14:29,224 --> 00:14:31,704 Maybe he's got a big trouser monkey. 239 00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:36,704 - You been listening this whole time? - Wouldn't you? 240 00:14:38,304 --> 00:14:40,824 You think she's right? You think he's just well-endowed? 241 00:14:41,264 --> 00:14:44,064 He could be. He's, what, 6" 4', got big hands. 242 00:14:44,224 --> 00:14:45,624 If everything is proportional... 243 00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:48,584 ...I'm guessing he could ring doorbells with that thing. 244 00:14:48,784 --> 00:14:51,984 - You're not helping. - I rarely do. 245 00:14:52,144 --> 00:14:54,344 Oh, Alan, you're looking at this the wrong way. 246 00:14:54,504 --> 00:14:56,144 What do you mean? 247 00:14:56,303 --> 00:14:58,544 Well, you're seeing your ex-wife as half-empty. 248 00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:01,264 - But with Herb in the picture... - Shut up. 249 00:15:04,024 --> 00:15:05,304 Oh, get a room. 250 00:15:09,224 --> 00:15:11,744 - Oh, Alan. - Oh, Cynthia. 251 00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:13,784 Oh, Herb. 252 00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:16,104 Hey, buddy. 253 00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:21,464 - Okay, okay, I can't do this. - Oh, well, what's the matter? 254 00:15:21,624 --> 00:15:24,024 I gotta know. What makes Herb the best Judith's had? 255 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,383 I thought we settled this. 256 00:15:25,544 --> 00:15:28,504 Yeah, but it's driving me crazy. Is it just physical endowment? 257 00:15:29,104 --> 00:15:30,183 What? 258 00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:33,624 You know, can he put a hat on it and drive in the carpool lane? 259 00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:37,064 I am not gonna repeat what a friend said to me in confidence. 260 00:15:37,224 --> 00:15:39,904 Don't give me that. You're a woman. That's all you guys do: 261 00:15:41,064 --> 00:15:44,504 You know what I think? I think that you're still not over Judith. 262 00:15:44,904 --> 00:15:46,584 Oh, please. I don't care about Judith. 263 00:15:46,744 --> 00:15:49,304 I can't wrap my head around Herb's penis. 264 00:15:50,144 --> 00:15:53,304 Okay. I just realized why your marriage ended. 265 00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:57,623 - Why? - Something is very wrong with you. 266 00:16:00,064 --> 00:16:01,944 Oh, that. 267 00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:04,104 I think you should go home. 268 00:16:04,504 --> 00:16:07,864 - But you said I was remarkable. - Get out. 269 00:16:09,543 --> 00:16:10,903 Fine. 270 00:16:16,263 --> 00:16:18,544 Okay. I'll see you guys at home. 271 00:16:30,544 --> 00:16:32,504 - Hey, fellas. - Hey. 272 00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:34,664 - Here to pick up Jake? - Yeah. 273 00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:37,624 - Another weekend with the boy. - Gonna take him to the movies. 274 00:16:37,783 --> 00:16:39,464 Oh, okay. 275 00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:43,944 - Well, he's waiting for you. - Great, great. 276 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,264 Yeah, come on, Alan. 277 00:16:48,223 --> 00:16:51,744 - I didn't see anything. Did you? - Nothing jumped out at me. 278 00:16:53,224 --> 00:16:55,623 I just don't get it. What is his secret? 279 00:16:55,784 --> 00:16:58,903 - Maybe he doesn't have a secret. - What do you mean? 280 00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:01,424 I mean, you didn't set the bar too high to begin with. 281 00:17:03,143 --> 00:17:07,184 It's like Judith spent 15 years living on peanut butter and jelly. 282 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,424 If someone comes along and offers bologna... 283 00:17:09,584 --> 00:17:12,184 ...she's gonna think it's a steak sandwich. 284 00:17:13,463 --> 00:17:15,663 Jake, your father's here. 285 00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:18,103 So I'm sorry to hear about you and Cynthia. 286 00:17:18,263 --> 00:17:21,464 - She told you. - Of course she told me. We're friends. 287 00:17:21,904 --> 00:17:25,383 Did she happen to mention the word "remarkable"? 288 00:17:25,864 --> 00:17:28,423 No, but she did say she didn't think you were over me. 289 00:17:28,943 --> 00:17:32,064 - Oh, he's over you. Right, Alan? - Right. 290 00:17:32,223 --> 00:17:34,904 But what's the deal with Herb's junk? 291 00:17:37,863 --> 00:17:39,584 - What? - Nothing, nothing. 292 00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:41,904 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, buddy, let's go. Bye, Judith. 293 00:17:42,064 --> 00:17:45,543 - Real subtle. - Sometimes you just gotta ask. 294 00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:49,624 - See you on Sunday, Herb. - Okay, have a good weekend. 295 00:17:58,023 --> 00:17:59,304 Wow, look at him go. 296 00:18:02,383 --> 00:18:04,784 Okay, mystery solved. 297 00:18:27,369 --> 00:18:30,609 Good for you. Never too late to learn.