1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,720 So I'm thinking we serve the good wine before the ceremony... 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,760 ...and then at the reception, after everybody's got a buzz on... 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,920 ...we uncork the crap. 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,320 Alan, I do not want to cheap out on what is very possibly my last wedding. 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,160 He's always been stingy. 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,760 I remember once when he was a little boy, he accidentally swallowed a quarter. 7 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,240 Refused to poop for a week. 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,920 Mom, for God's sakes, this is my future stepsister. 9 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,320 Oh, relax, Alan. I think it's cute. 10 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,480 Cute? He's so tight, I wouldn't have been surprised if only two dimes came out. 11 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,640 Mom, I'm begging you. 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,400 Would you feel better if I told you something embarrassing about me? 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,240 - Yes. - Promise not to laugh? 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,040 - I promise. - All right. 15 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:52,000 I have never in my life refused to poop. 16 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,600 You are so mean. I love you. 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,920 I think I liked it better when you two didn't get along. 18 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,400 Well, those days are over. 19 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,080 Once I saw how happy Evy makes my father, I could've married her myself. 20 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,759 Oh, thank you, sweetheart. And you're like the daughter I never had. 21 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,119 Not that he didn't try. 22 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,200 You should have seen him parading around in my earrings and my high heels. 23 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,319 "Look at me, Mommy, I'm pretty." 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,000 He wasn't, of course. 25 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,560 Oh, darling, I'm just teasing you. 26 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,879 You're all man. 27 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,560 Thanks. 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,119 Okay, let's talk appetizers. 29 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:43,120 Hey, Alan, how long do I have before Bridezilla gets here? 30 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,000 Gee, Charlie, I don't know what you're talking about. 31 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,120 She's already here, isn't she? 32 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,040 Yes, dear. Come on down. 33 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,240 It's a little game we play. 34 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,480 I show him unconditional love, and he's an ungrateful little pissant. 35 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,080 - Hey, Mom. - Hello, dear. 36 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,160 You remember Teddy's daughter, Courtney? 37 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,920 How could I forget? 38 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,479 - Nice to see you again. - Nice to see you too. 39 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,640 Courtney and your brother are helping me with the wedding arrangements. 40 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,839 It's your fifth wedding, Mom. What do you need help with? 41 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,680 Besides remembering the groom's name? 42 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,799 I'd cut him out of the will if I thought there was a chance he'd outlive me. 43 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,599 Hello? Oh, Teddy, darling. 44 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,359 What's up? 45 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,279 Excuse me. 46 00:02:32,439 --> 00:02:35,400 That's wonderful. Can you keep it up till I get there? 47 00:02:37,519 --> 00:02:40,280 All right, I want to make sure we're all on the same page here. 48 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,520 This wedding will be ruined if Mom finds out... 49 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,879 ...her son and future stepdaughter have been carrying on behind her back. 50 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,239 - Don't worry. - She won't. 51 00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:50,560 No, I do worry. There can be no flirting, no innuendo. 52 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,280 Don't worry about "innuendo," worry about "in-her-end-o." 53 00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:00,279 Everybody keeps their troublemakers in their pants. 54 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,159 Hey, I'll cooperate, but I can't speak for my troublemaker. 55 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,839 Alan, Teddy wants to talk to you about the boutonnieres. 56 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,800 Coming. 57 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,000 I knew he'd fight me on this. 58 00:03:14,519 --> 00:03:17,080 So when can we get together? 59 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,680 We can't. You and I are done. 60 00:03:20,439 --> 00:03:23,680 Why? Just because of what Alan said? Nobody listens to Alan. 61 00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:26,640 Hell, half the time, Alan doesn't listen to Alan. 62 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,039 I finally have a good relationship with your mother. I'd like to keep it. 63 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,400 Hey, a good relationship with my mother is highly overrated. 64 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,280 Look at me, I've gone my whole life without one. 65 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:40,599 Charlie, get it through your head. You and I, no more. 66 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,800 If it were that simple, they wouldn't call it "troublemaker." 67 00:03:56,616 --> 00:03:59,936 I'd like to make a little toast. To our families coming together. 68 00:04:00,096 --> 00:04:01,256 Hear, hear. 69 00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,776 - To coming together. - No. 70 00:04:05,056 --> 00:04:08,295 Evelyn is gaining a daughter and I'm gaining two sons. 71 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:11,016 - And a grandson. - Don't interrupt. 72 00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:15,216 I'd like to say something else. I want this to be an old-fashioned marriage. 73 00:04:15,376 --> 00:04:18,456 Darling, what's mine is yours. 74 00:04:18,616 --> 00:04:19,976 We do not need a prenup. 75 00:04:21,256 --> 00:04:23,416 Teddy, we've talked about this. 76 00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:26,376 You have a lot of money. You should be protected. 77 00:04:26,535 --> 00:04:28,496 I don't need to be protected from you, baby. 78 00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:30,976 - Daddy, wait a minute. - This is none of your business. 79 00:04:31,136 --> 00:04:33,416 - But, Dad. - But nothing. 80 00:04:33,576 --> 00:04:35,096 I love this woman. 81 00:04:35,256 --> 00:04:37,176 And I'm not gonna bet against our marriage... 82 00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:39,136 ...by bringing a bunch of lawyers into it. 83 00:04:42,736 --> 00:04:44,816 - He must really love her. - Yeah. 84 00:04:44,976 --> 00:04:46,376 The schmuck. 85 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,135 Excuse me. 86 00:04:57,016 --> 00:04:59,576 I had a thought about the ice sculpture. 87 00:05:01,696 --> 00:05:03,176 A lot of people go with Cupid... 88 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,936 ...but you gotta remember, the bow and arrow melts first... 89 00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:08,936 ...and what you're left with is a fat kid dancing in shrimp. 90 00:05:10,856 --> 00:05:12,096 There's gonna be shrimp? 91 00:05:12,776 --> 00:05:14,135 For the guests. 92 00:05:14,296 --> 00:05:17,695 - So what am I? - Don't feed me straight lines, dear. 93 00:05:18,095 --> 00:05:19,656 Excuse me. 94 00:05:21,496 --> 00:05:24,496 Why would I feed her straight lines if there's shrimp? 95 00:05:37,455 --> 00:05:41,456 - I'll be out in a minute. - I can't wait. You'd better let me in now. 96 00:05:41,616 --> 00:05:43,376 Charlie, get out of here. 97 00:05:43,536 --> 00:05:46,215 Oh, come on. You can't just cut me off like this. 98 00:05:46,376 --> 00:05:50,376 Hey, I can cut off whoever or whatever I want. 99 00:05:50,856 --> 00:05:53,536 Are you playing hard-to-get because you know it turns me on? 100 00:05:54,696 --> 00:05:56,375 I'm not playing, Charlie. 101 00:05:56,536 --> 00:05:59,776 Okay, I just have to say, not playing turns me on more. 102 00:06:02,376 --> 00:06:04,496 Charlie, are you in there with Courtney? 103 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,216 No. 104 00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:09,056 - Hi, Courtney. - Hey, Alan. 105 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,136 - I thought we had an agreement. - Yeah. 106 00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:14,016 The agreement was Mom doesn't find out. 107 00:06:15,015 --> 00:06:17,736 Courtney? Are you okay, dear? 108 00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:19,975 Oh, I'm fine, Evelyn. 109 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:23,655 I thought you might be upset about that prenup nonsense. 110 00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:26,896 And I just want you to know, I'm not after your father's money. 111 00:06:27,056 --> 00:06:28,976 I'm sure you're not. 112 00:06:31,656 --> 00:06:33,696 Believe me, I've got plenty of my own money. 113 00:06:33,856 --> 00:06:37,616 Of course, don't tell Alan and Charlie, they're annoying enough as it is. 114 00:06:38,536 --> 00:06:40,095 I won't. 115 00:06:41,495 --> 00:06:43,056 So exactly how rich are you? 116 00:06:44,536 --> 00:06:45,576 I do all right. 117 00:06:47,496 --> 00:06:50,535 When you marry my grandma, what does that make you to me? 118 00:06:51,336 --> 00:06:52,936 Nothing. 119 00:06:55,055 --> 00:06:56,136 Sorry, dear. 120 00:06:56,295 --> 00:06:58,655 Oh, that's all right. I was talking to the kid. 121 00:06:59,175 --> 00:07:02,096 - Isn't that nice? - You know, even if we're not related... 122 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,215 ...you could still buy me birthday and Christmas presents. 123 00:07:05,576 --> 00:07:07,496 Thanks for the tip. 124 00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:10,015 I don't believe it. 125 00:07:10,175 --> 00:07:13,855 If Mom's got so much money, how come we still get books for Christmas? 126 00:07:15,176 --> 00:07:16,376 Let it go, Alan. 127 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:20,175 Whatever money she has most likely has got an ancient curse attached to it. 128 00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:26,495 - What are you doing? - I'm here, I figured what the hell? 129 00:07:28,456 --> 00:07:31,216 - Remember to put the seat back down. - It's a ladies' room. 130 00:07:31,376 --> 00:07:33,055 Why do they even go up? 131 00:07:33,215 --> 00:07:37,376 I don't know. It's a bigger target for broads who want to puke their dinner. 132 00:07:38,255 --> 00:07:39,655 Makes sense. 133 00:07:39,816 --> 00:07:43,335 All right, let's talk about Courtney. 134 00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:48,216 - What do you want me to tell you? - Why you're so obsessed with her. 135 00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:51,336 Isn't it obvious? She drinks, she smokes, she gambles. 136 00:07:51,496 --> 00:07:53,095 She's me with indoor plumbing. 137 00:07:58,096 --> 00:07:59,856 What are you doing in the ladies' room? 138 00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:02,496 The men's room was occupied. 139 00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:04,575 Do you have to pee sitting down? 140 00:08:04,976 --> 00:08:07,816 - No, the seats go up. - Cool. 141 00:08:09,815 --> 00:08:12,295 Hey, it smells nice in here. 142 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:22,255 Hey, Courtney. It's Charlie, your brother. 143 00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:27,535 Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for making a scene there in the restaurant. 144 00:08:27,696 --> 00:08:29,896 I'd still love to get together, so give me a call. 145 00:08:30,056 --> 00:08:33,415 I'm just sitting at home, reading a book. 146 00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,895 And watching TV. 147 00:08:40,135 --> 00:08:43,575 Disney Channel, 101 Dalmatians. 148 00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:45,775 What a great film, huh? 149 00:08:48,335 --> 00:08:49,975 Sat on the remote. 150 00:08:50,135 --> 00:08:52,175 Hey, Apocalypse Now. 151 00:08:52,775 --> 00:08:54,736 Another great movie, huh? 152 00:08:55,296 --> 00:08:57,815 Anyway, call me. 153 00:09:04,255 --> 00:09:07,015 - Hi, Charlie. - Rose? 154 00:09:07,175 --> 00:09:09,536 What the hell are you doing here? 155 00:09:09,696 --> 00:09:11,336 I could ask you that question. 156 00:09:12,055 --> 00:09:14,896 And the answer would be the same: Stalking. 157 00:09:16,695 --> 00:09:19,615 - No. No, I'm not... - Good at it? 158 00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:24,975 - What do you want? - Right now or long-term? 159 00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:26,215 Rose. 160 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:31,415 I've just been watching you for an hour and 38 minutes, and I felt bad for you. 161 00:09:31,575 --> 00:09:33,575 I thought maybe you could use some help. 162 00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:34,815 Thanks, but I'm fine. 163 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,295 Really? Did you bring water? 164 00:09:37,455 --> 00:09:38,935 No. 165 00:09:40,615 --> 00:09:42,215 Trail mix? 166 00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:43,775 No. 167 00:09:46,175 --> 00:09:47,895 Pee jar? 168 00:09:48,175 --> 00:09:51,695 - That would have been a great idea. - Here you go. 169 00:09:53,095 --> 00:09:57,256 - Thank you. - Let's see. What else? 170 00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:59,015 Night-vision goggles? 171 00:10:00,136 --> 00:10:02,056 - I don't think so. - You say that now... 172 00:10:02,216 --> 00:10:05,375 ...but if you hide in her trunk and wanna do a little light reading... 173 00:10:05,535 --> 00:10:06,655 ...you're gonna be sorry. 174 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,415 - I'm fine. - Okay. 175 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,095 I'll just keep you company. Give me one of these... 176 00:10:12,255 --> 00:10:13,935 ...if you need to use the pee jar. 177 00:10:15,175 --> 00:10:16,975 Charlie, what the hell are you doing? 178 00:10:18,135 --> 00:10:21,256 Hey. Teddy. How are you? 179 00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:23,135 Since when do you drive a Volvo? 180 00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,775 It's my brother's car. 181 00:10:24,935 --> 00:10:27,296 Very smart. She would have spotted your car. 182 00:10:27,455 --> 00:10:29,055 I didn't give you points for that. 183 00:10:29,735 --> 00:10:31,615 I thought you and I had an understanding... 184 00:10:31,775 --> 00:10:34,495 ...you and my daughter weren't gonna see each other anymore. 185 00:10:34,655 --> 00:10:37,895 In my defense, we're not really seeing each other. This is more of a... 186 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:40,095 Reconnaissance mission. 187 00:10:40,495 --> 00:10:42,175 Who is this? 188 00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:45,415 This is Rose, she's kind of my... 189 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,375 Sidekick. 190 00:10:48,575 --> 00:10:51,415 I don't wanna beat this to death, but if your mother finds out... 191 00:10:51,576 --> 00:10:54,456 ...you and Courtney are seeing each other, and I kept it from her... 192 00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:57,255 ...I don't know what she'd do. Probably call off the wedding. 193 00:10:57,415 --> 00:10:59,575 I'm sorry, Teddy. I don't want to screw things up. 194 00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,015 - Well, then, go home. - Right. 195 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,095 Nice to meet you, Rose. 196 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,416 Boy, if he was 30 years younger, I'd be following him. 197 00:11:14,695 --> 00:11:16,536 Oh, what the hell. 198 00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:29,536 You were with her, weren't you? 199 00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:32,016 What are you, my wife? 200 00:11:33,616 --> 00:11:36,416 No, I'm the wedding planner. 201 00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:42,176 I'm the one who's dealing with caterers and florists and musicians... 202 00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:45,296 ...and parking valets and a thousand frozen butterflies. 203 00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:48,016 - Frozen butterflies? - Mom wanted butterflies. 204 00:11:48,176 --> 00:11:49,536 What'll she do, eat them? 205 00:11:49,696 --> 00:11:51,616 No, you thaw them out during the ceremony... 206 00:11:51,776 --> 00:11:54,096 ...and when the bride and groom kiss, they fly away. 207 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:57,016 - Is there still gonna be shrimp? - Yes, there's gonna be shrimp. 208 00:11:57,176 --> 00:11:58,816 Good. I like shrimp. 209 00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:03,336 Charlie, I will not have you ruin this wedding. 210 00:12:03,496 --> 00:12:06,696 Well, you can relax. I wasn't with Courtney. 211 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,056 Thank God for that. So where were you? 212 00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:12,776 Parked outside her apartment. 213 00:12:14,296 --> 00:12:15,536 You were stalking her? 214 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:20,056 Oh, man, why does everybody use that word? 215 00:12:20,976 --> 00:12:24,416 - It has such a bad connotation. - Charlie, what is wrong with you? 216 00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:28,416 - I've never seen you like this before. - I know, I know. 217 00:12:28,976 --> 00:12:30,896 I can't get her out of my mind. 218 00:12:31,056 --> 00:12:33,816 I go to sleep thinking about her, I wake up thinking about her. 219 00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:36,016 The other day, I stumbled into a three-way... 220 00:12:40,216 --> 00:12:44,496 - How do you stumble into a three-way? - It's usually a roommate thing. 221 00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:48,656 You read about sisters, but that almost never happens. 222 00:12:49,176 --> 00:12:50,856 Anyway, in order to get through it... 223 00:12:51,016 --> 00:12:54,056 ...I had to fantasize that both of them were Courtney. 224 00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:57,096 - How sad is that? - I'm brokenhearted for you. 225 00:12:59,576 --> 00:13:00,696 You know what I think? 226 00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:04,576 I think the only reason you're obsessed with Courtney is you can't have her. 227 00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:06,576 Well, duh. 228 00:13:07,056 --> 00:13:11,496 - Oh, please tell me you're not calling her. - Of course not. 229 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,256 Hey, Rose, it's Charlie. Listen, after you're done with Teddy... 230 00:13:17,416 --> 00:13:20,216 ...can you swing by Courtney's and let me know what she's doing? 231 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:30,616 Okay, the vows. Now, I understand you've written your own? 232 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,056 First I'm hearing about it. 233 00:13:32,216 --> 00:13:36,496 Oh, forgive me, darling. I took the liberty of writing both of ours. 234 00:13:38,576 --> 00:13:41,296 I come across kind of fruity, don't I? 235 00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:46,136 Well, you're in love with me. Love makes everyone a little gay. 236 00:13:47,176 --> 00:13:48,376 Terrific. 237 00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:52,696 Please let that be my butterflies. Please, please, please. 238 00:13:53,695 --> 00:13:56,336 That kid doesn't need butterflies. 239 00:13:58,095 --> 00:13:59,216 Hi, Courtney. Come on in. 240 00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:02,016 No, that's okay. I just need to talk to my father. 241 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:05,416 - What's up, baby? - Is Courtney here? 242 00:14:07,856 --> 00:14:09,176 Hi, Courtney. 243 00:14:09,735 --> 00:14:13,016 Hi, Charlie. Dad, it's kind of private. Can I talk to you outside, please? 244 00:14:13,175 --> 00:14:14,576 Sure. Excuse me. 245 00:14:15,296 --> 00:14:18,375 Did you happen to see a frozen-butterfly truck go by? 246 00:14:19,856 --> 00:14:22,576 - Everything okay? - No, no, everything is not okay. 247 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,056 Always good to see you. 248 00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:28,736 - I don't understand why you won't help. - Damn it, we've been through this. 249 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,056 - I'm not gonna keep bailing you out. - But, Daddy... 250 00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:32,456 Don't "But, Daddy" me. 251 00:14:32,616 --> 00:14:36,656 Sure makes you feel grateful that the three of us get along so well. 252 00:14:37,136 --> 00:14:40,136 - Am I supposed to live on the street? - Live within your means. 253 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,576 You're just gonna turn your back? Your own daughter? 254 00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,496 - Oh, don't be such a drama queen. - Forget it, I'm out of here. 255 00:14:45,656 --> 00:14:47,536 Courtney, don't be like that. 256 00:14:52,135 --> 00:14:53,215 Okay, the butterflies. 257 00:14:54,256 --> 00:14:57,296 Now, Mom, when you kiss Teddy, they're gonna be released on the deck. 258 00:14:57,455 --> 00:15:01,455 But there's a fifty-fifty chance that gulls will swoop down and rip them to shreds. 259 00:15:06,736 --> 00:15:08,216 I'm sorry you heard that. 260 00:15:08,376 --> 00:15:11,816 - Do you want me to talk to her? - No, no, leave it alone. 261 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,215 I'll go talk to her. 262 00:15:17,615 --> 00:15:21,496 Would either of you care to explain why he's going to talk to her? 263 00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,335 - No. - No. 264 00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:31,055 - Hi. - What are you doing here? 265 00:15:31,696 --> 00:15:35,055 I was concerned about you. I thought maybe I could help. 266 00:15:35,496 --> 00:15:37,296 You can't help me. 267 00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:39,776 Try me. 268 00:15:42,335 --> 00:15:43,856 I was looking at the wrong window. 269 00:15:46,975 --> 00:15:50,015 - What? - Nice place. 270 00:15:52,936 --> 00:15:55,416 So, what's going on? 271 00:15:56,136 --> 00:15:58,095 What do you want me to tell you, Charlie? 272 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,936 I lost my job, I'm about to lose my condo... 273 00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:04,015 ...and my father won't lift a finger to help me. 274 00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:07,695 How much do you need? 275 00:16:07,855 --> 00:16:09,696 Forget it, I can't take your money. 276 00:16:11,135 --> 00:16:13,136 Well, I hadn't actually offered yet. 277 00:16:15,056 --> 00:16:19,375 But we are gonna be family, and family looks after each other. 278 00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:21,015 I need $50,000. 279 00:16:25,495 --> 00:16:27,216 How about if I talk to your dad? 280 00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:30,175 It's no use. 281 00:16:30,335 --> 00:16:32,616 He's trying to teach me a lesson. 282 00:16:34,455 --> 00:16:37,216 You know, I just love this place so much. 283 00:16:38,776 --> 00:16:40,656 I put every dime I had into it. 284 00:16:43,775 --> 00:16:45,456 Charlie, what am I gonna do? 285 00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:49,896 You're gonna take the money from me. 286 00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:52,095 No. 287 00:16:52,255 --> 00:16:53,816 No, it wouldn't be right. 288 00:16:53,976 --> 00:16:55,935 I insist. 289 00:16:58,735 --> 00:17:00,655 Really? 290 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,535 I promise I'll pay you back. 291 00:17:04,175 --> 00:17:05,535 I know you will. 292 00:17:06,255 --> 00:17:07,976 Thank you. 293 00:17:08,135 --> 00:17:09,856 So much. 294 00:17:17,816 --> 00:17:20,856 No, no, no, that's not why I'm doing this. 295 00:17:21,016 --> 00:17:23,216 I know, I know, but I want you. 296 00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:27,576 I want you too... 297 00:17:27,736 --> 00:17:31,696 ...but I don't wanna feel like we're doing this because I lent you money. 298 00:17:31,856 --> 00:17:35,615 Okay, okay. But soon? 299 00:17:36,535 --> 00:17:37,935 Definitely soon. 300 00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:48,495 - Good night. - Night. 301 00:17:52,495 --> 00:17:55,655 Oh, hell, if you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. 302 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:08,028 "And I promise to honor and cherish you... 303 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:11,228 ...to always be there for you as a trusted friend... 304 00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:14,868 ...devoted husband and selfish lover." 305 00:18:15,748 --> 00:18:16,908 "Selfless." 306 00:18:17,588 --> 00:18:19,148 Oh, right, selfless. 307 00:18:21,387 --> 00:18:24,148 "And even though I'm significantly older than you... 308 00:18:26,268 --> 00:18:28,668 ...I feel renewed and replenished... 309 00:18:28,828 --> 00:18:32,468 ...every time I drink the sweet nectar of your youth." 310 00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:36,388 Pick it up, Teddy. No one can see butterflies in the dark. 311 00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:41,108 "I remember the first time I laid eyes on you... 312 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:47,188 ...at one of the many charity events to which you so tirelessly devote yourself. 313 00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:51,988 You were a vision in Dolce & Gabbana and compassion. 314 00:18:52,988 --> 00:18:57,628 And that first moment we spoke, the simple melody of your voice... 315 00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:01,228 ...was testimony to how much the world lost... 316 00:19:01,388 --> 00:19:05,308 ...when you gave up a very promising singing career... 317 00:19:06,107 --> 00:19:08,308 ...in order to raise your two little boys. 318 00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:11,548 Not that they ever appreciated it. 319 00:19:13,628 --> 00:19:15,707 And the lovemaking... 320 00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:18,548 ...what can I say about the lovemaking?" 321 00:19:19,947 --> 00:19:23,628 - I can't say this. - Lf you don't, I will. 322 00:19:28,187 --> 00:19:33,468 "As I explored every inch of your firm, non-surgically-enhanced body... 323 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:39,188 ...I finally learned the meaning of the words 'heaven on earth'... 324 00:19:40,507 --> 00:19:42,188 ...and 'natural redhead.' 325 00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:50,068 In the words of the Bard: 326 00:19:50,468 --> 00:19:54,107 Shall I compare thee to the summer's day? 327 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:57,068 Thou art more lovely and more temperate. 328 00:19:57,228 --> 00:20:01,468 Rough winds do shake The darling buds of May 329 00:20:01,627 --> 00:20:03,027 Will you marry me? 330 00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:05,428 And summer's lease hath all to short a date. 331 00:20:05,588 --> 00:20:06,587 - Really? - Yes. 332 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,828 - So long as men can breathe - Yes. 333 00:20:08,988 --> 00:20:10,748 - Our eyes can see - Really? 334 00:20:10,908 --> 00:20:15,548 So long lives this, and gives life to thee. " 335 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,748 You may now kiss the bride. 336 00:20:30,668 --> 00:20:34,188 Do you want me to sweep them up and pop them in the microwave? 337 00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:38,787 Never mind.