1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:03,400
Thanks for seeing me
on such short notice, doc.

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,880
Not a problem, Charlie.
So, what's the big emergency?

3
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,160
Why does it have to be an emergency?
I wanted to check in.

4
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,480
Well, you left six messages
on my service.

5
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,160
Oh, that was just a liquored up fella
hitting the speed dial.

6
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,200
I got five minutes
before my next patient.

7
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,200
Why don't you just
give me the headlines?

8
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,840
All right, I'm seeing a woman.

9
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,520
That's not a headline,
that's the name of the paper.

10
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,480
I know, I know, but she's different from
the type of woman I usually go out with.

11
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,080
- Yeah? Different how?
- Well, she's a little older.

12
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,800
Well, you really couldn't go younger...

13
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,440
...without having to register
with the authorities.

14
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,600
- I mean, she's older than me.
- Oh, we have our headline.

15
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:47,640
And I'm confused because
I have really strong feelings towards her.

16
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,880
- Do you find her attractive?
- She's gorgeous.

17
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,080
- How's the sex?
- We haven't had sex yet.

18
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,400
Hold the presses,
we have a new headline.

19
00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,120
- Do I have to pay extra for the sarcasm?
- No, it's a flat rate.

20
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,920
The thing is, we get along great.

21
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,520
She's warm, nurturing, supportive.
And I feel really safe with her.

22
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,120
Well, let's see,
you're involved with an older woman...

23
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,160
...who's warm, nurturing and supportive.

24
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,399
You feel very safe with her,
and you haven't had sex.

25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:19,960
Now, what male-female relationship
does that suggest?

26
00:01:23,719 --> 00:01:26,199
I feel like I should know this one.

27
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,920
Take your time.

28
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,400
Older, nurturing, warm...

29
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,560
Mrs. Butterworth?

30
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,440
Charlie, this woman you're seeing
is a mother figure.

31
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:44,600
A mother figure? I said she's warm,
nurturing and supportive.

32
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,600
The words toxic she-devil
did not pass my lips.

33
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,800
My point is, because your real mother
didn't give you...

34
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,560
...what you need emotionally, you're
responding to it in this relationship.

35
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,959
No, no, no. This is not a mother thing.

36
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,800
Now, my brother Alan,
he's the needy one.

37
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,040
He practically wants to sit
in this woman's lap and breastfeed.

38
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,760
And not in a fun way.

39
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,600
- So Alan's met her?
- Yeah.

40
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,160
And he's clinging to her like a tree
monkey, which is really pissing me off.

41
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,680
So you're competing with your brother
for the attention...

42
00:02:15,839 --> 00:02:18,760
...of an older, nurturing woman?

43
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,120
Boy, you're just
a one-string banjo, aren't you?

44
00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:25,240
What do you want me to tell you?
I play the notes in front of me.

45
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,840
I want you to cut all the psychobabble
and tell me why I'm so confused.

46
00:02:28,999 --> 00:02:30,119
I just did.

47
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,080
You're gonna stick
with the mother thing?

48
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,000
Look, Charlie,
I've got my next patient waiting.

49
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,280
If you like, we can make a weekly
appointment and explore these issues.

50
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,999
In fact, twice a week
might not be overdoing it.

51
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,640
No, thanks.
I deal with my demons as they escape.

52
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,720
All right.

53
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,159
So, what do I owe you?

54
00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:51,840
Well, I get $200 an hour.
You were here for five minutes.

55
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,280
So why don't we just round it off
and say $200?

56
00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,279
Man. Even hookers prorate.

57
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,600
Hookers don't have to listen to you,
Charlie. Goodbye.

58
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,400
Bye, doc. Good session.

59
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,919
- Hi, come on in.
- Thanks for seeing me last minute.

60
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,440
I think I'm in love
with my brother's girlfriend.

61
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,760
- Hi.
- Hi, yourself.

62
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,519
- Oh, don't you look handsome?
- Nah.

63
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,480
Yes, you do.

64
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,440
- And that shirt looks great on you.
- You think?

65
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,959
- Oh, yes. Very grown-up.
- Well, you bought it for me.

66
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,559
But you should tuck it in, sweetie.

67
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,000
I don't wanna.

68
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,120
- Please?
- Oh, all right.

69
00:04:08,599 --> 00:04:11,680
- Are you ready to go?
- I just need a minute, come on in.

70
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,239
- You remember my son, Jeremy.
- Oh, sure.

71
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,560
- How's it going?
- Hi, good.

72
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:18,760
- Good.
- Good to see you.

73
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,560
And this is his fiancée, Tricia.

74
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,240
Hi, Tricia. Charlie.

75
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:33,720
Hi, Charlie. Nice to meet you.

76
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,839
- Mom's helping us plan our wedding.
- Really?

77
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:38,639
- Yeah.
- You're getting married? Lucky guy.

78
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,960
Not that I'd know. I'm just assuming.

79
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,159
- I'm just gonna get my purse.
- Hurry back. Hop, hop, hop.

80
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,080
So you're getting married.

81
00:04:50,239 --> 00:04:52,159
- Taking the plunge.
- Yeah.

82
00:04:52,319 --> 00:04:54,799
I've never stuck a toe in myself.

83
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,760
Actually, I've never stuck anything in.

84
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,679
Anyway, it's a big step.

85
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,119
Not for me. Tricia's the love of my life.

86
00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:07,119
And I can't believe
nobody snapped her up before I did.

87
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:10,159
Well, maybe she was just waiting
for the right snapper.

88
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,279
I mean, the past
isn't nearly as important...

89
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:17,200
...as the future you two
are gonna build together, am I right?

90
00:05:17,679 --> 00:05:22,639
- Absolutely. The past doesn't matter.
- That's what I'm thinking.

91
00:05:23,999 --> 00:05:25,320
Okay, let's go.

92
00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:27,800
Okay, nice seeing you again.
Nice meeting you, bye.

93
00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:29,759
Isn't she terrific? I am so happy...

94
00:05:29,919 --> 00:05:32,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's a catch, let's go.

95
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,960
Why aren't you studying
for your Algebra final?

96
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,200
Because I don't have to.

97
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:44,920
- You don't have to study Algebra?
- Nope.

98
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,599
All I gotta do
is get a 67 to pass the course.

99
00:05:47,759 --> 00:05:51,119
<i>Then it's adios seventh grade,
arrivederci eighth.</i>

100
00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:57,359
Okay, we can cross UN interpreter
off the job list.

101
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,359
But let's get back to the Algebra test.
So you're planning on getting a 67?

102
00:06:02,519 --> 00:06:05,239
Yep. Anything above that
would just be wasted effort.

103
00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,679
Okay, we have to talk.

104
00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:12,200
Hey, the blind, one-armed dancer's
about to go on.

105
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,119
- This is more important.
- Last week, she fell twice.

106
00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:16,359
Listen to me.

107
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:19,279
You know what you call someone
who just skates through life...

108
00:06:19,439 --> 00:06:20,919
...doing only the bare minimum?

109
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:22,679
Uncle Charlie?

110
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:26,799
You call him a slacker.

111
00:06:27,239 --> 00:06:30,320
- Whatev.
- Whatev?

112
00:06:30,639 --> 00:06:33,839
Are you now so lazy you can't
even be bothered to finish words?

113
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:38,519
What's your prob? Won't you be happy
if I just get into eighth grade?

114
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,239
I mean, isn't that
the whole point of seventh?

115
00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:44,119
No, that is not
the whole point of seventh.

116
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,559
And yes, I'll be thrilled
if you're not left back.

117
00:06:47,119 --> 00:06:49,039
So relax, it's all good.

118
00:06:50,239 --> 00:06:52,319
Don't you mean it's all goo?

119
00:06:53,919 --> 00:06:56,279
Holy crap, her arm flew off.

120
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,279
That's gotta cost some points.

121
00:07:03,679 --> 00:07:05,359
<i>Two adults for the Wings of Love.</i>

122
00:07:05,519 --> 00:07:09,719
- No, wait. I get a senior discount.
- No, you don't. Full price, both of us.

123
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,600
Charlie, you're being silly.

124
00:07:12,079 --> 00:07:14,319
For 2 bucks, let me be silly.

125
00:07:16,239 --> 00:07:17,519
Hey, Charlie.

126
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:19,439
Perfect.

127
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:22,519
We're at the same theater.
What a happy coincidence.

128
00:07:22,679 --> 00:07:25,440
Yeah, just like Booth and Lincoln.

129
00:07:25,839 --> 00:07:28,159
Angie, this is my mother, Evelyn.
Mom, this is Angie.

130
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,639
Nice to meet you, Evelyn,
I've heard a lot about you.

131
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,959
Well, there's two sides to every story.

132
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,399
And Charlie's memory isn't the best.
You know:

133
00:07:36,879 --> 00:07:41,279
And considering how you raised me,
it was either... or:

134
00:07:42,239 --> 00:07:43,999
Charlie, don't be so sensitive.

135
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:46,719
Have you met his brother?
Another drama queen.

136
00:07:47,279 --> 00:07:49,279
Okay, Mom.
Always great bumping into you.

137
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,479
Maybe next time you'll be standing
in front of a wood chipper.

138
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,519
- Enjoy the movie.
- Bye-bye.

139
00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:59,199
- Hey, Charlie?
- Oh, swell. There's more.

140
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:00,799
I'll meet you inside.

141
00:08:01,759 --> 00:08:03,279
Yes?

142
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,679
- Be careful, that woman is a cougar.
- A what?

143
00:08:06,839 --> 00:08:09,359
An older woman
who preys on young men.

144
00:08:10,079 --> 00:08:14,479
- That's not what this is about.
- Right, she likes you for your brains.

145
00:08:15,159 --> 00:08:16,639
And I love you for your warmth.

146
00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:19,279
Nice yanking chains with you, Mom.

147
00:08:21,759 --> 00:08:24,399
What did I do to deserve that?

148
00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:28,120
- Here are your keys, Evelyn.
- Thanks, Justin.

149
00:08:28,599 --> 00:08:31,000
So, what movie should we see?

150
00:08:31,159 --> 00:08:36,199
Oh, you pick, darling. You're the one
who'll be facing the screen.

151
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:46,079
Okay, X is minus four?

152
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:51,799
Great. You're right.
See? See? You can do this.

153
00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:53,719
On the test,
you have to show your work.

154
00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:55,639
So let's see your work.

155
00:08:55,799 --> 00:08:57,599
There's no work.

156
00:08:58,199 --> 00:08:59,519
Why is there no work?

157
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,439
I don't need to do the work. Suddenly,
I can see all the numbers in my head.

158
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,639
- Really?
- Yeah, it's amazing.

159
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,239
And they all make perfect sense.

160
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:11,399
It's like the equations
are solving themselves before my eyes.

161
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,359
Oh, my God, you know,
I've read about that kind of thing...

162
00:09:14,519 --> 00:09:16,399
...but my own son?

163
00:09:17,519 --> 00:09:19,679
No, I'm just screwing with you.

164
00:09:24,079 --> 00:09:26,519
The answers are in the back of the book.

165
00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:29,439
Good night.

166
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,319
You should have seen your face
when you thought I was smart.

167
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,799
Am I supposed to go to bed now?

168
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,519
Dad?

169
00:09:43,319 --> 00:09:49,599
I still love him. I still love him.
I still love him. I still love...

170
00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:59,159
- You're only punishing yourself. Let it go.
- Easy for you to say.

171
00:09:59,318 --> 00:10:01,639
Your mom wasn't four rows behind you
in a movie theater...

172
00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:02,878
...dry-humping a Cub Scout.

173
00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:10,159
Oh, hey. I didn't hear you guys come in.

174
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:12,959
<i>- How did you like Wings of Love?
- Oh, it was terrific.</i>

175
00:10:13,119 --> 00:10:14,519
I thought you'd enjoy the movie.

176
00:10:14,678 --> 00:10:17,278
<i>It's the same cinematographer
as Like Water for Chocolate.</i>

177
00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:19,599
- Yes. Would you like some wine?
- I'd love some.

178
00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:21,599
Here's 10 bucks.
Go get yourself a bottle.

179
00:10:22,799 --> 00:10:25,359
Gee, thanks, but I can't go out now.

180
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,239
I just put my little boy to bed.

181
00:10:28,719 --> 00:10:31,839
You got a little boy?
Aren't you afraid Jake will eat him?

182
00:10:33,239 --> 00:10:34,919
How do you like being a father, Alan?

183
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,519
Well, you know, I'd have to say
that it's wonderfully rewarding.

184
00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:42,079
And more than a little challenging.
Jake's kind of a diamond in the rough.

185
00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,879
Jake's kind of a turd in the punch bowl.

186
00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,479
Charlie, that is no way
to talk about a child.

187
00:10:47,639 --> 00:10:48,639
He's not a child.

188
00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:51,438
He's a post-pubescent tapeworm
with a bad haircut.

189
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:52,919
Charlie.

190
00:10:54,159 --> 00:10:56,918
- Was your divorce very hard on him?
- You have no idea.

191
00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:59,199
I'll tell you who his divorce
was hard on. Me.

192
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,559
- Stop playing the martyr.
- Stop living in my house.

193
00:11:01,718 --> 00:11:04,479
- Here we go.
- You keep saying that, but you never go.

194
00:11:05,239 --> 00:11:08,399
I think I'll just go powder my nose.

195
00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:13,159
- See? You drove her away.
- Oh, I drove her away?

196
00:11:13,319 --> 00:11:15,959
- I'm not the one with the poop talk.
- Poop talk?

197
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:18,318
You called my son
a turd in a punch bowl.

198
00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:19,599
I said it with love.

199
00:11:21,119 --> 00:11:24,559
Anyway, I know what's going on, and
it's not gonna work. Angie's with me.

200
00:11:24,719 --> 00:11:27,679
- Hey, she's my friend too.
- Well, she and I are more than friends.

201
00:11:27,839 --> 00:11:31,559
- Oh, really? Have you slept with her?
- That's none of your business.

202
00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:35,438
Oh, my God, you haven't.
I was just taking a shot in the dark.

203
00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:38,039
No, that's your sex life.

204
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,358
If you haven't slept with Angie,
it's a level playing field.

205
00:11:41,519 --> 00:11:43,479
- You think so?
- I do.

206
00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:46,599
Oh, hey. What are we doing?

207
00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:49,479
- We're going upstairs.
- Okey-dokey.

208
00:11:49,639 --> 00:11:50,798
Good night, Alan.

209
00:11:52,718 --> 00:11:54,199
Good night.

210
00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:55,758
Hey, Al?

211
00:12:03,983 --> 00:12:05,984
- Morning.
- What's good about it?

212
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,304
I didn't say good.

213
00:12:09,264 --> 00:12:11,143
Hey, why aren't you studying
for your test?

214
00:12:11,303 --> 00:12:13,583
I thought we settled this, Dad.

215
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,343
Turn off the TV,
go to your room and study.

216
00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:21,143
- You'll never learn.
- Hey, hey, I heard that.

217
00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:23,343
- So?
- So I'm an adult.

218
00:12:23,503 --> 00:12:25,663
I don't have to learn anything.

219
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:28,143
What's bugging you, zippy?

220
00:12:28,303 --> 00:12:30,423
Your blow-up doll
ran off with the pool toy?

221
00:12:35,783 --> 00:12:37,583
Just mind your business and do your job.

222
00:12:44,143 --> 00:12:45,623
Wanna rephrase that?

223
00:12:46,823 --> 00:12:47,823
Desperately.

224
00:12:49,783 --> 00:12:53,223
- Good morning, everyone.
- At least somebody's in a good mood.

225
00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:56,183
Well, I'm not usually one to kiss and tell,
but:

226
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,944
So who's the lucky receptacle?

227
00:13:07,383 --> 00:13:09,783
Do not talk about Angie that way.
She's a lady.

228
00:13:10,343 --> 00:13:11,343
During the day.

229
00:13:11,503 --> 00:13:14,063
But once the lights go down:

230
00:13:15,823 --> 00:13:20,743
- All right, fine. We get the picture.
- Oh, I don't think you do.

231
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:25,384
She left an hour ago, but it took me
till now to safely zip up my pants.

232
00:13:27,663 --> 00:13:30,503
You know, there are parts of Angie
that could sue Disneyland...

233
00:13:30,663 --> 00:13:33,223
...for claiming
it's the happiest place on Earth.

234
00:13:33,783 --> 00:13:34,903
Oh, go to hell.

235
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,423
- Alan, Alan, wait.
- What?

236
00:13:49,503 --> 00:13:51,383
Hi, is Charlie here?

237
00:13:52,783 --> 00:13:56,503
Oh, for God's sake.
They just drop out of the sky for him.

238
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,943
- Tricia?
- Hi, Charlie. Can I talk to you?

239
00:14:00,103 --> 00:14:01,743
I guess. What's up?

240
00:14:01,903 --> 00:14:05,423
I've made a horrible mistake.
I can't marry Jeremy.

241
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,863
- Who's Jeremy?
- Angie's son.

242
00:14:08,303 --> 00:14:10,423
I thought I wanted to settle down.

243
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:15,823
But when I saw you the other night,
I realized I'm not over you.

244
00:14:16,583 --> 00:14:20,623
Okay, you understand that I'm involved
with Jeremy's mother, right?

245
00:14:21,223 --> 00:14:24,183
Well, I know, but I don't understand.

246
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,823
You're not alone.

247
00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:32,343
I'm so confused. I just had to see you.

248
00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:35,543
Oh, come on, come on.
It will be all right.

249
00:14:35,983 --> 00:14:38,383
Can I get you anything?
Something to drink?

250
00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:42,343
- Could I have a glass of water?
- Sure.

251
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,263
- Here, sit down.
- Thank you.

252
00:14:45,423 --> 00:14:47,223
Alan, where do we keep the water?

253
00:14:50,983 --> 00:14:52,503
Kitchen.

254
00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:55,983
- Back in a flash.
- "Where do we keep the water?"

255
00:14:56,143 --> 00:14:59,663
Hey, I know where the Scotch is, I know
where the ice cubes are. That's enough.

256
00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:03,783
Okay, let me get this straight.
Angie's son is engaged to that woman...

257
00:15:03,943 --> 00:15:06,583
...who you used to be involved with,
who now wants you back?

258
00:15:06,743 --> 00:15:09,943
Scorecards, you can't tell the players
without the scorecards.

259
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:14,743
- Yeah, what am I gonna do?
- I know what I'd do.

260
00:15:14,903 --> 00:15:17,463
Yeah, three pumps and an apology.

261
00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:22,583
What? You got another move
I ain't heard about?

262
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,983
Okay, forget about what I'd do.
That woman is gorgeous.

263
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:30,423
- How could you possibly pass that up?
- Easy. I care about Angie.

264
00:15:30,582 --> 00:15:32,423
Forget about Angie.
You don't need Angie.

265
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,183
You're trying to sabotage
my relationship so you can have Angie.

266
00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:40,263
What? No, no, no.

267
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:41,623
No.

268
00:15:43,503 --> 00:15:47,143
Come on, look at her.
She's young, needy and vulnerable.

269
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:50,383
Go fetch.

270
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:54,263
No, no, it's not worth it. I'm not
gonna screw things up with Angie.

271
00:15:54,423 --> 00:15:56,543
Who's gonna tell her?
I'm not gonna tell her.

272
00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:58,743
- That's not the point.
- Okay, think about this.

273
00:15:58,903 --> 00:16:02,503
In a few years, Tricia will be what?
Twenty-nine?

274
00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:06,343
Angie's gonna be 60.

275
00:16:08,263 --> 00:16:11,823
You're looking at grandkids, liver spots
and a dusty bowl of hard candy.

276
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:15,343
- I don't like any of those.
- Of course you don't, nobody does.

277
00:16:15,503 --> 00:16:16,942
Go ahead. Do it.

278
00:16:19,023 --> 00:16:21,062
Defile her.

279
00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:33,383
- Here you are.
- Oh, thanks.

280
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,903
Listen, Tricia.

281
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:39,982
You know how I feel about you.
We had some great times together.

282
00:16:41,023 --> 00:16:44,943
- Remember Vegas?
- Oh, yeah.

283
00:16:45,103 --> 00:16:49,343
- We didn't leave the room for three days.
- Oh, yeah.

284
00:16:49,903 --> 00:16:53,623
Of course, I couldn't leave
because I made you tie me to the bed.

285
00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:56,823
Oh, yeah.

286
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,623
Do you ever hear
from the other two girls?

287
00:17:00,702 --> 00:17:02,342
Oh, yeah.

288
00:17:03,663 --> 00:17:08,502
Look, this isn't a good idea.
You need to go.

289
00:17:09,423 --> 00:17:12,783
But can't we just talk a little more?

290
00:17:15,063 --> 00:17:17,263
If we could just talk,
you wouldn't need to go.

291
00:17:17,822 --> 00:17:21,623
- Wait... But, Charlie...
- Trust me.

292
00:17:21,783 --> 00:17:23,423
Jeremy is a great guy.

293
00:17:23,582 --> 00:17:26,182
And he obviously loves you.
I say give him a chance.

294
00:17:26,342 --> 00:17:30,663
But what if you and I
had just one last fling?

295
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:32,463
One last fling?

296
00:17:32,623 --> 00:17:36,663
Yeah, yeah, we'll go back to Vegas.
This time, I'll tie you up.

297
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,303
You really need to go.

298
00:17:40,703 --> 00:17:42,703
- But Charlie, wait, wait...
- Bye-bye, bye-bye.

299
00:17:46,102 --> 00:17:48,063
It's not too late.

300
00:17:51,702 --> 00:17:54,742
- You can still have her.
- I'm not listening.

301
00:17:54,903 --> 00:17:56,823
You could do it in her car.
How hot is that?

302
00:17:56,983 --> 00:18:00,663
- I can't hear you.
- It's dirty in a car.

303
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:14,583
- What the hell do you want?
- What?

304
00:18:14,742 --> 00:18:17,742
Tricia broke off her engagement
with Jeremy because of you.

305
00:18:17,902 --> 00:18:20,063
No, no, no.

306
00:18:21,423 --> 00:18:25,383
- I was good. Honest.
- He was crushed.

307
00:18:25,543 --> 00:18:29,582
My little boy had a nervous breakdown
and tried to drink bleach.

308
00:18:30,222 --> 00:18:31,663
Yeah, but I was good.

309
00:18:31,823 --> 00:18:35,062
Oh, good. Tricia told us everything
about you and her.

310
00:18:35,223 --> 00:18:38,423
Everything? And he was still crushed?

311
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,463
You lied to me.

312
00:18:40,623 --> 00:18:44,143
No, no, no, I didn't lie. I just didn't tell.

313
00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,262
It was a long time ago.

314
00:18:46,422 --> 00:18:50,022
And I didn't want you to be jealous
because she's young and you're...

315
00:18:50,183 --> 00:18:53,463
- I'm what?
- A real trouper?

316
00:18:53,623 --> 00:18:55,182
Drop dead.

317
00:18:59,663 --> 00:19:02,023
But I was good.

318
00:19:06,422 --> 00:19:10,663
- Well, you can't say I didn't warn you.
- You did. You warned me.

319
00:19:10,822 --> 00:19:12,342
- But did you listen?
- No.

320
00:19:12,502 --> 00:19:13,582
- Do you ever listen?
- No.

321
00:19:13,742 --> 00:19:15,983
- Are you listening now?
- No.

322
00:19:16,582 --> 00:19:19,342
So you're just gonna sit there
and feel sorry for yourself?

323
00:19:19,502 --> 00:19:21,422
No, I'm also gonna drink.

324
00:19:22,023 --> 00:19:26,182
Oh, come on, Charles. This isn't
like you. Apart from the drinking.

325
00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:29,662
- What do you want me to do?
- I want you to do what you always do.

326
00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:33,703
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off,
call one of your little whores.

327
00:19:34,182 --> 00:19:38,582
Mom, have you ever considered
trying to be nurturing and supportive?

328
00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:42,583
When have I ever been anything else?

329
00:19:42,743 --> 00:19:44,742
Right. I don't know what I was thinking.

330
00:19:45,502 --> 00:19:48,103
Oh, it's okay.
I've had a lifetime of being hurt by you.

331
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:51,142
At this point, I'm just one big scab.

332
00:19:53,303 --> 00:19:54,943
Where have you been?

333
00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:58,663
I figured since you weren't seeing
Angie anymore, I'd stop by and say hello.

334
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:02,102
- And?
- She's a really mean drunk.

335
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,783
Well,
as I was trying to tell your brother...

336
00:20:05,942 --> 00:20:08,822
...single women that age
are notoriously unstable.

337
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,982
What? I'm nowhere near her age.

338
00:20:15,142 --> 00:20:18,022
Hey, Grandma, guess what?
I'm gonna be in eighth grade next year.

339
00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:20,742
Really? Is this a move forward?

340
00:20:21,982 --> 00:20:23,063
- Yes.
- Yes.

341
00:20:24,462 --> 00:20:26,582
Then congratulations.

342
00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:30,502
Next stop, clown college.

343
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,503
There's a college for clowns?

344
00:20:34,182 --> 00:20:36,623
Okay. Clown junior college.