1
00:00:03,276 --> 00:00:04,834
[DOORBELL RINGS]

2
00:00:05,011 --> 00:00:07,878
JUDITH: I said no.
JAKE: And I say, why not?

3
00:00:08,047 --> 00:00:10,277
- Why not?
JUDITH: I don't have to give you a reason.

4
00:00:10,483 --> 00:00:13,350
Dad, I got my learner's permit
but Mom won't let me drive.

5
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,012
Just because they give 15-year-olds permits
doesn't mean they're ready.

6
00:00:17,190 --> 00:00:18,851
I've been driving for years.

7
00:00:19,025 --> 00:00:21,550
"Grand Theft Auto 1,"
"Grand Theft Auto 2."

8
00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:25,456
I never ran over anybody
but pimps and crack whores.

9
00:00:25,632 --> 00:00:28,692
- Jake.
- Sorry, crack prostitutes.

10
00:00:29,702 --> 00:00:31,192
Go get started on your homework.

11
00:00:31,371 --> 00:00:33,601
- After, will you take me driving?
- We'll talk.

12
00:00:33,773 --> 00:00:34,967
- When?
- Go to your room.

13
00:00:35,141 --> 00:00:37,541
- I'm available now.
- Go.

14
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:41,737
Man, if I knew how to hot-wire a real car,
I'd be so out of here.

15
00:00:42,749 --> 00:00:46,446
- Thanks for bringing him by, I guess.
- Lf you need to reach me, Herb and I...

16
00:00:46,619 --> 00:00:49,053
...are going to Laguna Beach
for a weekend getaway.

17
00:00:49,255 --> 00:00:52,247
- How nice. Taking the baby?
- Are you insane? I said "getaway."

18
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:53,824
Herb's lucky I'm taking him.

19
00:00:54,561 --> 00:00:58,088
- I see. So who's watching little Millie?
- My mother.

20
00:00:58,264 --> 00:01:02,724
- Ooh. Are we sure that's a good idea?
- Okay, first of all, there is no we here.

21
00:01:02,902 --> 00:01:04,096
And what are you implying?

22
00:01:04,270 --> 00:01:07,501
That there might be better choices
for a babysitter than a woman...

23
00:01:07,674 --> 00:01:10,905
...who has a sandwich named after her
at the Betty Ford clinic.

24
00:01:12,779 --> 00:01:15,942
She's three years clean and sober,
all the charges were dropped...

25
00:01:16,115 --> 00:01:18,583
...and she's great with Millie.
- All right.

26
00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:21,413
I gave her your number,
in case there's an emergency.

27
00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:24,318
I don't mind. So how is the baby anyway?

28
00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:26,758
- Fine.
- Good, good.

29
00:01:26,926 --> 00:01:28,757
Jake showed me some pictures.

30
00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:31,158
I gotta say,
she doesn't look much like you...

31
00:01:31,331 --> 00:01:33,196
...and she doesn't look like Herb.

32
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:34,993
Don't go there, Alan.

33
00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:38,001
Go where? I'm not implying that
someone other than Herb...

34
00:01:38,171 --> 00:01:40,639
...could be the father,
even though that someone...

35
00:01:40,807 --> 00:01:44,641
...did have unprotected sex with you
nine months before the birth of a child...

36
00:01:44,811 --> 00:01:47,371
...that looks suspiciously
like that someone.

37
00:01:48,314 --> 00:01:50,373
You get that I'm talking about me, right?

38
00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:52,984
If we wanna beat the traffic,
we should get going.

39
00:01:53,152 --> 00:01:54,176
- Hey, Alan.
- Hey, Herb.

40
00:01:54,354 --> 00:01:57,790
You hear? Judith and I are spending
a romantic weekend in Laguna.

41
00:01:57,957 --> 00:02:00,016
I said weekend, Herb. That's all.

42
00:02:00,193 --> 00:02:03,026
Okay, fine, no romance.

43
00:02:03,196 --> 00:02:05,187
But sex is still on the table, right?

44
00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:07,356
- Just get in the car.
- Oh, can I drive?

45
00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:09,467
- No.
- Why not?

46
00:02:11,371 --> 00:02:12,998
Is she gone?

47
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:15,464
[CAT SCREECHES]

48
00:02:15,642 --> 00:02:17,109
Damn it!

49
00:02:19,412 --> 00:02:21,471
Chelsea, your cat's trying to kill me.

50
00:02:21,648 --> 00:02:24,014
CHELSEA: Is he okay?
- The cat's fine.

51
00:02:24,183 --> 00:02:28,017
Probably off plotting his next mo...
Whoa. Whoa!

52
00:02:28,187 --> 00:02:30,212
- Are you okay?
- No.

53
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,651
- What happened?
- Uncle Charlie fell.

54
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:34,053
Oh.

55
00:02:34,227 --> 00:02:36,252
Can I drive you to the hospital?

56
00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:08,093
CHELSEA:
Mr. Lancelot!

57
00:03:09,996 --> 00:03:12,157
Here, kitty, kitty!

58
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,062
He's probably hiding
because he thinks you're mad at him.

59
00:03:17,236 --> 00:03:18,260
[SIGHS]

60
00:03:18,438 --> 00:03:21,999
For God's sake, the cat doesn't think
anything except maybe:

61
00:03:22,175 --> 00:03:23,938
"Mm, fish, I'll eat it."

62
00:03:25,411 --> 00:03:28,437
Or, "Ooh, sand, I'll crap in it."

63
00:03:29,115 --> 00:03:32,141
You're wrong.
He's very intelligent and very intuitive.

64
00:03:32,318 --> 00:03:36,345
- He knows you resent him living here.
- Thank you, but I can defend myself.

65
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:40,123
I was talking about my cat.

66
00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:43,626
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Mm, fish, yum.

67
00:03:45,798 --> 00:03:50,292
- Okay, I'm going to work. Feel better.
- Thanks.

68
00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:51,698
How's the shoulder?

69
00:03:52,238 --> 00:03:53,262
[DOOR CLOSES]

70
00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:54,929
Oh, the shoulder's fine.

71
00:03:55,108 --> 00:03:58,043
I'm just hoping to get a little
"Oh, poor Charlie" tonight.

72
00:03:58,211 --> 00:04:03,615
- "Oh, poor Charlie?"
- Yeah. You know, "Oh, poor Charlie.

73
00:04:03,783 --> 00:04:07,048
I feel bad about your shoulder,
so you just lie still...

74
00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:10,212
...while I provide you
with a series of intense orgasms."

75
00:04:11,791 --> 00:04:15,386
Wow. I don't know what to say,
other than "oink."

76
00:04:16,095 --> 00:04:17,119
[ENGINE STARTS OUTSIDE]

77
00:04:17,296 --> 00:04:18,854
Is that a car? Can I drive?

78
00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:20,760
Relax, it was just Chelsea going to work.

79
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:23,197
Oh. Uncle Charlie,
you need to go anywhere?

80
00:04:23,369 --> 00:04:26,827
- Yeah, away from you.
- All right. I'll drive you.

81
00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:30,703
You wanna drive my $80,000 Mercedes?

82
00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:32,572
Yes, please.

83
00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:36,545
It's good that he's polite.
It's a necessary quality in a doorman.

84
00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:40,848
- Was that a yes or a no?
- That was a no.

85
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:44,046
- So the doorman thing was an insult?
- Yes.

86
00:04:44,457 --> 00:04:45,549
Oh.

87
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:49,220
And a prophecy.

88
00:04:49,395 --> 00:04:52,159
[PHONE RINGING]

89
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,758
Hello?

90
00:04:55,968 --> 00:04:58,266
No, it's Charlie. Who's this?

91
00:04:58,905 --> 00:05:00,930
I can't hear you, what?

92
00:05:01,107 --> 00:05:02,131
[CHARLIE SIGHS]

93
00:05:02,308 --> 00:05:03,332
- Alan, it's for you.
- Oh.

94
00:05:03,509 --> 00:05:05,101
[ALARM BLARING OVER PHONE]

95
00:05:05,278 --> 00:05:09,908
Hello? Oh. Oh, hi, Lenore.
It's Judith's mother.

96
00:05:10,082 --> 00:05:12,778
Is that the house alarm?

97
00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:15,385
Is the baby okay?

98
00:05:16,556 --> 00:05:19,389
All right, open the little panel
by the front door...

99
00:05:19,559 --> 00:05:22,892
...and enter pound, star and the code.

100
00:05:24,564 --> 00:05:26,794
Pound is the little tic-tac-toe board.

101
00:05:28,468 --> 00:05:31,767
Yeah, like on <i>Hollywood Squares.</i>

102
00:05:32,572 --> 00:05:34,938
- She still popping the pain pills?
- No.

103
00:05:35,107 --> 00:05:37,302
Good. See if she's got any leftovers.

104
00:05:38,644 --> 00:05:41,636
Okay, the code is Jake's birthday.

105
00:05:42,882 --> 00:05:45,112
Your grandson.

106
00:05:45,751 --> 00:05:49,915
Anyway, it's 0314. Oh.
No, Lenore, don't punch it into the phone.

107
00:05:50,089 --> 00:05:52,751
No, Lenore! Lenore! Lenore.
Okay, okay, okay. Calm down.

108
00:05:52,925 --> 00:05:56,383
Calm down. I'll be right there.
I will turn it off for you.

109
00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:59,793
Okay, okay. Bye. Ugh. I gotta go.

110
00:05:59,966 --> 00:06:03,629
You couldn't be more of a sucker
if you were on the end of a stick.

111
00:06:03,803 --> 00:06:07,136
Why? Because I'll take any excuse
to spend time with my daughter?

112
00:06:07,306 --> 00:06:10,400
- You don't know you're the father.
- Oh, come on.

113
00:06:10,576 --> 00:06:13,067
She's got my jaw line, my eyes, my ears.

114
00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:16,010
You left out thinning hair
and poopy pants.

115
00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:20,578
That was one time
and I begged you to stop at a gas station.

116
00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:27,188
[ALARM BLARING AND BABY CRYING]

117
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,828
Oh, Alan, thank God you're here.

118
00:06:29,996 --> 00:06:33,090
I pushed all the buttons,
but I can't get it to stop.

119
00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:37,362
That might be because you were
adjusting the thermostat.

120
00:06:41,507 --> 00:06:44,670
- Ah. There we go.
- Oh, thank God.

121
00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:48,644
Oh, here, let me see if I can turn
this alarm off, ha, ha. Come here, Millie.

122
00:06:48,814 --> 00:06:49,940
Come to Papa.

123
00:06:53,452 --> 00:06:56,819
[SINGING]
<i>Was a rolling stone</i>

124
00:06:56,989 --> 00:07:01,187
<i>Wherever he laid his hat was his home</i>

125
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,023
Always sang this to Jake.
Worked like a charm.

126
00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:08,632
[SINGING IN FALSETTO]
<i>And when he died</i>

127
00:07:08,801 --> 00:07:11,827
<i>All he left us was alone</i>

128
00:07:12,004 --> 00:07:13,164
[BABY STOPS CRYING]

129
00:07:13,339 --> 00:07:17,241
- Huh. Look at that.
- Well, you are a miracle worker, Alan.

130
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:21,403
Oh, no. I just have a knack for babies.
And animals.

131
00:07:21,614 --> 00:07:24,515
It's only English-speaking adults
that don't like me.

132
00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:27,415
Well, I think you're a wonderful fellow.

133
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:31,181
And if you don't mind my saying,
Judith was a fool to let you go.

134
00:07:31,357 --> 00:07:34,485
Eh. She didn't so much let me go
as drop me from an airplane...

135
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,855
...with an anvil necklace.

136
00:07:37,997 --> 00:07:40,693
Okay, honey,
time to get your beauty rest.

137
00:07:40,866 --> 00:07:44,996
I'm afraid that's gonna have
to be a long nap.

138
00:07:45,171 --> 00:07:47,196
I hate to say it about my granddaughter...

139
00:07:47,373 --> 00:07:52,572
...but let's face it, with those big ears,
she looks a little like a fruit bat.

140
00:07:54,747 --> 00:07:56,681
I think her ears are the perfect size.

141
00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:58,608
You would.

142
00:07:59,885 --> 00:08:04,379
- How about some wine?
- Uh... Thank you, but I should get going.

143
00:08:04,557 --> 00:08:07,856
Oh, no, come on. Join me.
Just one. We'll catch up.

144
00:08:08,027 --> 00:08:12,088
Uh, it's none of my business,
but do you think you should be drinking?

145
00:08:13,099 --> 00:08:15,966
- Because I've been to Betty Ford?
- Oh, no.

146
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,966
Because you got kicked out of Betty Ford.

147
00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:20,901
Hey, Britney bit me first.

148
00:08:22,908 --> 00:08:26,105
Anyway, I was there for pills.

149
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:29,270
I've never had a problem with alcohol.

150
00:08:34,086 --> 00:08:36,554
See? No problem.

151
00:08:36,989 --> 00:08:39,287
Okay, now...

152
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:44,225
...where did I hide those muscle relaxers
I picked up in Mexico?

153
00:08:46,499 --> 00:08:47,523
[SNAPS FINGERS]

154
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:51,158
That's right, between my butt cheeks.

155
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,607
Turn around.

156
00:09:10,056 --> 00:09:11,080
Uncle Charlie?

157
00:09:11,257 --> 00:09:13,657
- What?
- You hungry?

158
00:09:15,528 --> 00:09:18,691
Because if you are,
we could go get something to eat.

159
00:09:18,864 --> 00:09:20,525
And I'll even drive.

160
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:24,631
- Jake, I'm sleeping.
- Okay.

161
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,207
You know, you can nap in the car.

162
00:09:30,376 --> 00:09:33,709
I just gotta have an adult with me.
They don't have to be conscious.

163
00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:37,939
- I'm not hungry.
- Okay, fine.

164
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,948
You wanna go see a movie?
Because if you do...

165
00:09:44,423 --> 00:09:46,015
[CHARLIE GROWLS]

166
00:09:46,192 --> 00:09:47,955
Maybe after your nap.

167
00:09:52,765 --> 00:09:58,635
- Oh, crap, now I'm awake.
- Great. You hungry?

168
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:04,138
[SLURRING]
You're lucky you're single, Alan.

169
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,870
- Oh, I don't know.
- Oh, no, trust me.

170
00:10:07,046 --> 00:10:10,243
I've been married for 39 years.

171
00:10:10,416 --> 00:10:11,883
[ALAN CHUCKLES]

172
00:10:12,718 --> 00:10:14,879
Really? But Judith's 40.

173
00:10:15,054 --> 00:10:16,885
Shh.

174
00:10:18,924 --> 00:10:23,725
Do you know what it's like to wake up
every morning, year after year...

175
00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:28,390
...and see the same stupid face
lying next to you?

176
00:10:29,568 --> 00:10:32,935
Uh, well, all I can tell you
is what I told your daughter.

177
00:10:33,105 --> 00:10:35,903
If you don't like it, roll over.

178
00:10:39,912 --> 00:10:42,745
Fred hasn't touched me in 14 years.

179
00:10:42,915 --> 00:10:47,443
Uh, well, in his defense,
he did have that stroke.

180
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:51,347
Do you know what happens
to a woman's body...

181
00:10:51,524 --> 00:10:53,583
...when it goes unloved for that long?

182
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:56,922
Lenore, I don't feel comfortable
talking about this with you.

183
00:10:57,096 --> 00:10:59,394
Oh, now, Alan, come on.
We're both grown-ups.

184
00:10:59,565 --> 00:11:02,534
Think about what I am saying.

185
00:11:05,738 --> 00:11:07,603
All right? Well...

186
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:14,779
I'm getting an image of a cave
from an <i>Indiana Jones</i> movie.

187
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:16,572
What?

188
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:21,111
Well, you know, cobwebs...

189
00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:23,647
...dust...

190
00:11:23,856 --> 00:11:25,721
...human skulls.

191
00:11:26,358 --> 00:11:29,794
This is my vagina we're talking about.

192
00:11:29,962 --> 00:11:33,227
Oh, I am well aware
of what we're talking about.

193
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:37,595
I've been so alone.

194
00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:40,901
Oh. Oh. I'm...

195
00:11:41,173 --> 00:11:42,936
I'm sorry, Lenore.

196
00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:45,167
[LENORE MOANS]

197
00:11:57,990 --> 00:11:59,821
A stroke's starting to look pretty good.

198
00:12:06,298 --> 00:12:08,926
- Can't I at least back it out?
- No.

199
00:12:09,101 --> 00:12:10,966
Come on, nothing's gonna happen.

200
00:12:11,136 --> 00:12:12,160
[ENGINE STARTS]

201
00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,238
- Look, you wanna go eat or not?
- Fine.

202
00:12:14,406 --> 00:12:16,772
If we went to an empty parking lot,
could I drive?

203
00:12:16,942 --> 00:12:18,273
How many times I gotta tell you...?

204
00:12:18,444 --> 00:12:20,344
[THUD THEN CAT SCREECHES]

205
00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:26,813
- What the hell was that?
- I don't know.

206
00:12:26,986 --> 00:12:28,510
Sounds like you ran over a cat.

207
00:12:38,063 --> 00:12:39,928
Told you you should have let me drive.

208
00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:44,735
You know,
Chelsea's gonna completely freak out.

209
00:12:44,904 --> 00:12:47,964
No, she will not be happy.

210
00:12:49,408 --> 00:12:52,639
- Doesn't even look like a cat anymore.
- Nope.

211
00:12:52,811 --> 00:12:56,474
More like a cat pancake. "Catcake."

212
00:12:57,983 --> 00:12:59,644
Sorry.

213
00:12:59,818 --> 00:13:03,219
- What am I gonna tell her?
- She doesn't have to know.

214
00:13:03,856 --> 00:13:05,050
You're right.

215
00:13:05,224 --> 00:13:07,920
She thinks Sir Lancelot's missing,
so he stays missing.

216
00:13:08,093 --> 00:13:10,721
Sir Squished-a-Lot.

217
00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:12,557
Let's think what we've gotta do.

218
00:13:12,731 --> 00:13:15,256
We have to get rid of the body,
clean up the mess...

219
00:13:15,434 --> 00:13:18,301
...then act like nothing's happened.
- Good plan. Except.

220
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:20,267
- Except what?
- Say cheese.

221
00:13:20,773 --> 00:13:21,865
What are you doing?

222
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:25,101
Making sure I get to drive your car
whenever I want to.

223
00:13:25,711 --> 00:13:29,112
- What? Give me that.
- Too late. I emailed it to myself.

224
00:13:29,281 --> 00:13:31,374
- You're bluffing.
- Perhaps.

225
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:34,610
But can you really afford
to take that chance?

226
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:42,087
[SINGING]
<i>Hush, little baby, don't say a word</i>

227
00:13:42,261 --> 00:13:45,788
<i>Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird</i>

228
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:48,433
<i>If that mockingbird don't sing</i>

229
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,160
Forget it, I'm not sleepy.

230
00:13:52,938 --> 00:13:54,462
Let's go in the hot tub.

231
00:13:55,474 --> 00:13:57,772
But I don't have a bathing suit.

232
00:13:58,377 --> 00:14:00,470
Me neither.

233
00:14:02,614 --> 00:14:04,878
Come on, stroke.

234
00:14:06,352 --> 00:14:08,820
[PHONE RINGING]

235
00:14:08,988 --> 00:14:11,456
Judith, ah. This just keeps getting better.

236
00:14:11,623 --> 00:14:13,250
[BABY CRYING]

237
00:14:13,425 --> 00:14:16,861
Oh, hey, look who's up. Hi, sweetie.

238
00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:20,157
You need a change? Oh, yeah.

239
00:14:20,332 --> 00:14:22,960
I'll let you in on a little secret.

240
00:14:23,135 --> 00:14:24,466
Before this day is over...

241
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:28,003
...I might need to change my undies too.

242
00:14:28,807 --> 00:14:31,799
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

243
00:14:33,579 --> 00:14:34,841
Uh-oh.

244
00:14:35,014 --> 00:14:36,504
It's your Mommy again.

245
00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:38,643
Shh.

246
00:14:39,184 --> 00:14:40,310
Hello?

247
00:14:40,486 --> 00:14:42,477
Oh, hey, Judith. What's up?

248
00:14:42,654 --> 00:14:45,088
- So how's Laguna?
- Laguna's fine.

249
00:14:45,257 --> 00:14:47,225
Um, my mother's
not answering the phone.

250
00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,417
I need you to go check on her
and the baby.

251
00:14:49,595 --> 00:14:53,622
Me? You want me to drive all the way
to Sherman Oaks...

252
00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:57,428
...to check on your mother,
who you assured me was clean and sober?

253
00:14:58,504 --> 00:14:59,994
[BABY CRYING]

254
00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:01,366
What's that?

255
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:05,237
Uh, that is TV that I am watching.

256
00:15:05,844 --> 00:15:08,369
The baby channel.

257
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:11,015
A documentary about obese babies.

258
00:15:11,183 --> 00:15:12,946
Tragic.

259
00:15:14,353 --> 00:15:18,847
I will check up on your mother for you,
but you owe me one.

260
00:15:19,024 --> 00:15:20,889
[SINGSONGY]
Oh, Alan.

261
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:22,687
Ta-da.

262
00:15:27,032 --> 00:15:28,124
Not bad.

263
00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:30,432
What's not bad?

264
00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:34,732
[STAMMERS] I mean, it's not a bad idea
for me to check up on her.

265
00:15:34,907 --> 00:15:37,933
Thank you. Call me when you get there.

266
00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:40,544
[SINGSONGY]
Oh, Judith.

267
00:15:41,613 --> 00:15:44,047
Look who mowed the front lawn.

268
00:15:49,388 --> 00:15:52,448
So we're agreed,
we will never speak of this again.

269
00:15:52,624 --> 00:15:55,593
Well, that kind of depends on you,
doesn't it?

270
00:15:56,228 --> 00:16:00,130
I've already got the shovel, Jake.
I can dig another hole.

271
00:16:00,732 --> 00:16:02,495
Charlie, I'm home.

272
00:16:06,004 --> 00:16:07,938
Hey, sweetie, how was work?

273
00:16:08,107 --> 00:16:10,905
Okay. I was worried about Sir Lancelot.
Have you seen him?

274
00:16:11,076 --> 00:16:13,340
No, haven't seen him. Not a trace.

275
00:16:14,213 --> 00:16:15,237
What about you, Jake?

276
00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:17,780
No. But if I was a cat,
I'd be out on the beach.

277
00:16:17,950 --> 00:16:21,408
Because the beach is one big litter box
and the ocean is a giant fish bowl.

278
00:16:21,587 --> 00:16:23,521
Like having a sushi bar in your bathroom.

279
00:16:25,324 --> 00:16:27,758
Wow, how great would that be?

280
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:31,453
I guess. I'll still feel better
when he comes back.

281
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,393
We all will.

282
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:39,670
- You're quite the little liar, aren't you?
- I'm 15. My life depends on it.

283
00:16:39,838 --> 00:16:41,897
Chelsea, Charlie's gonna take me driving.

284
00:16:42,074 --> 00:16:45,441
- Can we bring you back anything?
CHELSEA: No, thanks.

285
00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:54,280
That woman just cut you off.

286
00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:58,320
Learn how to drive, you whore!

287
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,822
Yeah, I'm talking to you!

288
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:03,325
Lenore, we should probably keep it down.

289
00:17:03,495 --> 00:17:05,554
- We don't wanna wake the baby.
- What baby?

290
00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:08,156
Oh, right.

291
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,233
Woof.

292
00:17:10,402 --> 00:17:13,394
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

293
00:17:14,706 --> 00:17:16,196
[ALAN SIGHS]

294
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:18,809
Hello, Judith.

295
00:17:18,977 --> 00:17:21,912
I was about to call you.
The baby's fine, nothing to worry about.

296
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,174
Hey, Judy, Judy, Judy!

297
00:17:25,617 --> 00:17:27,585
Yeah, yeah. That's her.

298
00:17:27,753 --> 00:17:30,051
Uh-huh. Blotto.

299
00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:33,385
Uh, no. No need to rush home.
Everything's under control.

300
00:17:33,592 --> 00:17:36,186
We're in the car,
Millie's sleeping in the back seat...

301
00:17:36,361 --> 00:17:38,056
...and we're heading for Malibu.

302
00:17:39,364 --> 00:17:41,264
Ehab-ray.

303
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:43,892
Ehab-ray?

304
00:17:44,636 --> 00:17:49,096
You said you were taking me
for crab cakes at Gladstone's.

305
00:17:49,274 --> 00:17:52,641
Well, I'm sorry,
but you just don't have a choice here.

306
00:17:52,811 --> 00:17:56,713
- The hell I don't.
- Lenore! Lenore! Lenore!

307
00:17:56,882 --> 00:17:59,510
Red light. Slow down, slow down, stop!

308
00:17:59,685 --> 00:18:00,982
[BRAKES SQUEAL]

309
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:05,246
You're making me really nervous,
you know that?

310
00:18:11,997 --> 00:18:13,464
[SPORTS GAME PLAYING ON TV]

311
00:18:13,632 --> 00:18:16,465
Hey, you mind
getting me another grape soda?

312
00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:20,435
- Yeah, I mind. Get it yourself.
- Fine.

313
00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:24,098
I just have to send this JPEG
to Chelsea real fast.

314
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:25,300
[SIGHS]

315
00:18:25,477 --> 00:18:27,502
Okay, okay.

316
00:18:28,146 --> 00:18:30,774
- Look who finally came home.
- Who?

317
00:18:31,717 --> 00:18:35,676
Sir Lancelot. You've been a bad kitty cat.

318
00:18:35,854 --> 00:18:39,051
I've been so worried about you.

319
00:18:41,927 --> 00:18:43,758
Okay, I'm confused.

320
00:18:43,929 --> 00:18:47,160
If that's Sir Lancelot,
then what did we squash?

321
00:18:47,332 --> 00:18:50,597
Your hope of ever getting behind
the wheel of my car again.

322
00:18:52,271 --> 00:18:53,602
Oh, man.

323
00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:59,344
Leverage is a fickle bitch, my friend.

324
00:19:00,646 --> 00:19:01,806
[DOORBELL RINGS]

325
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:03,777
CHELSEA:
I got it.

326
00:19:07,986 --> 00:19:09,783
- Can I help you?
- Sorry to bother you.

327
00:19:09,955 --> 00:19:12,651
I live down the beach
and I'm looking for my cat.

328
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:17,451
I'm sorry, I haven't seen it.
In fact, I just found my little guy.

329
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,264
I'm really worried.

330
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,460
He's black and white, about yay big.

331
00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:24,966
Answers to Puss-Puss.

332
00:19:25,637 --> 00:19:27,332
I'll keep an eye out for him.

333
00:19:27,506 --> 00:19:30,270
Looks like the fickle bitch is back.

334
00:19:59,471 --> 00:20:01,462
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]