1
00:00:02,474 --> 00:00:03,998
NARRATOR:
Previously on Two and a Half Men:
2
00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:05,403
Why were you in jail?
3
00:00:05,577 --> 00:00:07,602
I was forced to defend a lady's honor.
4
00:00:07,779 --> 00:00:10,646
- So I don't have to go back to jail?
- Not even a courtroom.
5
00:00:10,815 --> 00:00:15,252
We're having a nature ride and barbecue
for the kids Saturday. You should come.
6
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:18,787
- That sounds wonderful. Doesn't it?
- You let her go without you?
7
00:00:18,957 --> 00:00:20,151
Why would I want to go?
8
00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:23,852
Maybe you didn't notice the way
my lawyer was looking at your fiancée.
9
00:00:24,029 --> 00:00:27,556
- What are you talking about?
- Or the way she looked at him.
10
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,394
Charlie, that guy is everything you're not.
11
00:00:38,676 --> 00:00:41,304
- Where is she, Alan?
- Don't work yourself into a tizzy.
12
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:46,382
A tizzy? I don't have tizzies.
Women have tizzies. You have tizzies.
13
00:00:47,619 --> 00:00:51,749
Me, I am outraged,
I am furious. I am... I am...
14
00:00:51,923 --> 00:00:53,220
Miffed?
15
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:56,326
Do not complete my sentences
if you don't grasp the concept.
16
00:00:57,128 --> 00:00:59,858
- Sorry.
- She should've been home hours ago.
17
00:01:00,031 --> 00:01:03,125
- I'm sure there's a good explanation.
- And what would that be?
18
00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:07,260
Well, after the barbecue ended,
Chelsea stayed behind to help clean up...
19
00:01:07,439 --> 00:01:11,375
...then she and Brad got to talking about
all the things they have in common:
20
00:01:11,543 --> 00:01:14,205
Their love of horses, children.
21
00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:17,780
Probably just lost track of time
because he's so easy to talk to...
22
00:01:17,949 --> 00:01:20,782
...not to mention
how good-looking he is.
23
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,545
Or she got diarrhea.
24
00:01:25,857 --> 00:01:29,384
Maybe she called.
Oh, look, there's two messages.
25
00:01:29,561 --> 00:01:31,426
WOMAN [ON MESSAGE]:
Hi, I'm calling for Alan Harper.
26
00:01:31,596 --> 00:01:32,858
This is Jenny from Malibu Day Spa.
27
00:01:33,031 --> 00:01:36,000
Just wanted to confirm your
Saturday appointment for a bikini wax.
28
00:01:39,104 --> 00:01:40,264
Bikini wax?
29
00:01:40,438 --> 00:01:44,169
I wear a European cut bathing suit,
I like to keep it tidy down there.
30
00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,371
Anyway, I'm sure
the next one is Chelsea.
31
00:01:47,545 --> 00:01:49,445
Hi, Mr. Harper. This is Jenny again.
32
00:01:49,614 --> 00:01:53,414
Just a reminder, we can no longer
accept a personal check from you...
33
00:01:53,585 --> 00:01:56,281
I should've just gone with her
to that charity thing.
34
00:01:56,454 --> 00:01:58,684
With effort, you wouldn't be
in this situation.
35
00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:01,590
I'll bet she knew I wouldn't go
when she asked me.
36
00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:05,490
I bet she was counting on me not going
so she could be alone with this Brad.
37
00:02:05,663 --> 00:02:09,690
- Chelsea would do something like that?
- Why not? That's what I'd do.
38
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,836
I mean, hypothetically.
39
00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:14,995
If I were ever in that situation. Again.
40
00:02:16,241 --> 00:02:17,299
Right.
41
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:19,966
Point is, I've been honest
through this whole thing.
42
00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:21,635
She's the one who's deceitful.
43
00:02:21,813 --> 00:02:25,010
She's nothing but a manipulative,
calculating, two-faced...
44
00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:28,344
- Hey, honey.
- Oh, hi, baby.
45
00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:30,980
- How was the party?
- It was great.
46
00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:35,149
There was 80 kids taking turns riding
a horse for the first time in their lives.
47
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,887
- So, what, there was just one horse?
- No.
48
00:02:39,063 --> 00:02:41,930
Good, because that would've been
a tough day for the horse.
49
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,160
Sorry I'm late, but after we got
the kids back on the buses...
50
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:48,999
...a bunch of us helped clean up.
- Yeah, yeah, that's what I figured.
51
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,307
Anyway, I'm beat. I wanna jump
in the shower and go to bed.
52
00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:53,739
Okay, I'll be right up.
53
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,210
- Night, Alan.
- Night.
54
00:02:56,381 --> 00:02:58,076
CHARLIE:
Glad you had a good time.
55
00:02:58,249 --> 00:03:00,774
Well done.
You sublimated your anger...
56
00:03:00,952 --> 00:03:03,546
...and came from a place of love.
Took the high road.
57
00:03:03,721 --> 00:03:06,383
Really? Is that what you call it?
Because I call it...
58
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:09,857
...a complete and total betrayal
of my testicles.
59
00:03:11,396 --> 00:03:15,196
If you'd done it as much as I had,
you'd call it the high road.
60
00:03:26,511 --> 00:03:30,811
Hey, Chels? So when you say
a bunch of you stayed to clean up...
61
00:03:30,982 --> 00:03:33,974
...how many are you talking about?
- I don't know, a couple.
62
00:03:34,786 --> 00:03:36,185
Uh-huh.
63
00:03:37,455 --> 00:03:39,821
You know, technically a couple is two.
64
00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:44,360
So there were two people in addition
to you and Brad, or just you and Brad?
65
00:03:44,529 --> 00:03:48,260
- What are you getting at?
- Nothing. Trying to get a head count.
66
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:51,100
- You could've come with me, you know.
- I know.
67
00:03:51,269 --> 00:03:54,432
It'd be nice for us to do some things
together once in a while.
68
00:03:55,006 --> 00:03:56,530
We do plenty of things together.
69
00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:58,938
- Besides sex.
- Oh.
70
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:03,173
When Brad's wife was alive
they played tennis.
71
00:04:03,348 --> 00:04:05,282
Probably what killed her.
72
00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,784
She was hit by a car.
73
00:04:09,053 --> 00:04:11,317
Maybe she was chasing a tennis ball.
74
00:04:13,191 --> 00:04:15,159
You know, like a dog.
75
00:04:16,895 --> 00:04:19,955
You throw it, they run after it.
Even if there's traffic.
76
00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:23,396
Goofy dogs.
77
00:04:29,874 --> 00:04:32,365
[CROWD CHANTING ON TV]
78
00:04:32,877 --> 00:04:34,367
What the hell is that?
79
00:04:34,879 --> 00:04:38,144
Two guys in a cage
beating the snot out of each other.
80
00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:42,150
I can't believe I wasted so many years
watching cartoons.
81
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,753
Turn it down.
82
00:04:43,922 --> 00:04:46,413
Aye, aye, Captain Douche.
83
00:04:46,858 --> 00:04:50,259
- What'd you say?
- Aye, aye, captain. I'll do that.
84
00:04:52,096 --> 00:04:54,326
Why are you on the couch?
You have a fight?
85
00:04:54,499 --> 00:04:56,023
No, we didn't have a fight.
86
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,997
Were you farting in your sleep?
87
00:04:58,469 --> 00:05:00,733
- No.
- Did you screw up the sex?
88
00:05:01,739 --> 00:05:03,536
What the hell are you talking about?
89
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:06,176
There's more than one way
to satisfy a woman.
90
00:05:06,678 --> 00:05:08,168
Really? Like what?
91
00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:11,213
I'm not sure. But I have some theories.
92
00:05:11,382 --> 00:05:12,713
Get out.
93
00:05:12,884 --> 00:05:14,351
Fine.
94
00:05:16,254 --> 00:05:18,848
We wouldn't have problems
if you put a TV in my room.
95
00:05:19,023 --> 00:05:22,083
We wouldn't have these problems
if I put a python in your room.
96
00:05:23,528 --> 00:05:24,756
Touché, douché.
97
00:05:25,463 --> 00:05:28,432
- What?
- I said touché, douché.
98
00:05:35,139 --> 00:05:36,629
BERTA [SINGING]:
I really can't stay
99
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,699
Baby, it's cold outside
100
00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:41,970
I got to go away
101
00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:43,943
Baby, it's cold outside
102
00:05:44,115 --> 00:05:45,946
You mind? I'm trying to sleep.
103
00:05:46,117 --> 00:05:48,381
Hey, I didn't see you there.
104
00:05:48,553 --> 00:05:51,454
- What did you do?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
105
00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:54,455
Fine. I'm not one to pry.
106
00:05:57,295 --> 00:05:59,786
- Money?
- No.
107
00:05:59,998 --> 00:06:02,330
- Old girlfriend?
- No.
108
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,731
- She find those Polaroids?
- No.
109
00:06:06,871 --> 00:06:08,600
How'd you know about the Polaroids?
110
00:06:08,773 --> 00:06:11,674
You just told me, you dirtbag.
111
00:06:11,843 --> 00:06:14,141
So, what did you do?
112
00:06:14,312 --> 00:06:17,839
Try to sneak in at 2 a.m.
Smelling of booze and pole dancer?
113
00:06:18,549 --> 00:06:21,382
For your information,
Chelsea's the one who came home late.
114
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,179
And she was smelling of horse.
115
00:06:23,354 --> 00:06:25,686
Good Lord, Charlie,
you can't compete with a horse.
116
00:06:25,857 --> 00:06:27,415
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
117
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:30,093
Seriously, I've seen your talliwacker.
118
00:06:30,261 --> 00:06:32,991
You're blessed
but you ain't no Seabiscuit.
119
00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:37,122
When have you seen my... talliwacker?
120
00:06:37,301 --> 00:06:40,930
Oh, I don't know, maybe the nine
or 10 times I found you passed out...
121
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:44,131
...in your bathtub, holding it
like it was a floatation device.
122
00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:46,708
Oh. I'm sorry about that.
123
00:06:46,878 --> 00:06:48,573
Don't be.
124
00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:58,180
ALAN:
Mmm, boy.
125
00:06:58,723 --> 00:07:03,217
Breakfast, the most important
meal of the day.
126
00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:05,191
Three scrambled egg whites...
127
00:07:05,363 --> 00:07:08,696
...two slices of I Can't Believe
It's Not Buttered rye toast...
128
00:07:08,866 --> 00:07:10,629
...and to flush it through me...
129
00:07:10,802 --> 00:07:14,795
...a piping-hot cup
of freshly ground coffee.
130
00:07:14,972 --> 00:07:16,405
[GRINDER BUZZING]
131
00:07:16,574 --> 00:07:18,201
Shut that thing off.
132
00:07:26,317 --> 00:07:28,512
[GRINDER BUZZING]
133
00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:43,532
[GLASS BREAKS]
134
00:07:46,404 --> 00:07:48,702
So decaf?
135
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:56,410
- Don't push me. I'm not in the mood.
- Did you sleep on the couch last night?
136
00:07:56,581 --> 00:07:59,277
- What's it to you?
- Oh, Charlie, what'd you do?
137
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,441
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
138
00:08:01,619 --> 00:08:07,580
I may have compared Brad's recently
deceased wife to a ball-chasing dog.
139
00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:09,850
Whose balls?
140
00:08:10,761 --> 00:08:14,527
Tennis balls.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
141
00:08:14,699 --> 00:08:17,691
All right, while this is
admittedly a bump in the road...
142
00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:21,600
...you do have an opportunity here to
improve your relationship with Chelsea.
143
00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:22,796
How do you figure?
144
00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:25,636
Think about it. The reason
you're threatened by Brad...
145
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:28,244
...is because
he's a much better man than you.
146
00:08:30,014 --> 00:08:34,041
No, he's not. I would never come on
to another guy's fiancée.
147
00:08:34,218 --> 00:08:36,652
First, we don't know that
he's come on to Chelsea.
148
00:08:36,821 --> 00:08:40,120
Secondly, I've seen you hit on
a bride walking down the aisle.
149
00:08:40,858 --> 00:08:44,794
That was a joke. I asked her what she
was doing later. Everybody laughed.
150
00:08:44,962 --> 00:08:47,692
My point is, if Chelsea's looking
for a better guy...
151
00:08:47,865 --> 00:08:49,799
...why not make that guy you?
152
00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:53,429
Because I'm not a better guy than me.
153
00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:57,438
Not yet. But you do have something
going for you that Brad doesn't.
154
00:08:57,608 --> 00:09:00,577
- What's that?
- Room to improve.
155
00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:05,973
Lots and lots of room to improve.
156
00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:08,641
Thanks, you've filled me
with optimism.
157
00:09:08,819 --> 00:09:11,947
Keep in mind, you're the underdog.
Everybody loves an underdog.
158
00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:15,318
Then how come nobody loves you?
159
00:09:17,195 --> 00:09:20,358
The principle is still sound.
Just go up there and tell Chelsea...
160
00:09:20,531 --> 00:09:24,763
...you know you're a flawed human,
but you'll spend the rest of your life...
161
00:09:24,936 --> 00:09:27,928
...trying to be better
because she deserves the best.
162
00:09:29,006 --> 00:09:31,031
So lie.
163
00:09:31,209 --> 00:09:33,871
Don't lie. Don't you think
you're a flawed human being?
164
00:09:34,045 --> 00:09:37,708
Of course I do. But I know me.
I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life...
165
00:09:37,882 --> 00:09:40,976
...doing anything, let alone trying
to be a better human being.
166
00:09:41,152 --> 00:09:42,449
Oh, come on, Charlie.
167
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,248
Look at every New Year's resolution
I've ever made.
168
00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:48,392
I've got the best of intentions,
but by January 3rd or 4th...
169
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,290
...there I am: Broke, hung-over
and coughing up stripper glitter.
170
00:09:52,863 --> 00:09:54,330
Okay, lie.
171
00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:02,233
Hey, Chels, I brought you
some orange juice.
172
00:10:02,907 --> 00:10:04,875
Thank you. Is there any coffee?
173
00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:08,637
No, no, my stupid brother
broke the grinder.
174
00:10:11,549 --> 00:10:13,676
There's vodka in this orange juice.
175
00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:16,812
Whoopsie, that's mine.
176
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:19,321
It's 8:00 in the morning.
177
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:21,151
Hence the orange juice.
178
00:10:24,128 --> 00:10:29,293
So listen, I wanted to apologize again
about my unfortunate remarks last night.
179
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:32,561
And tell you I love you and
I'll spend the rest of my life...
180
00:10:32,737 --> 00:10:35,672
...trying to be a better man,
because you deserve the best.
181
00:10:36,641 --> 00:10:38,472
Well, I appreciate you saying that.
182
00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:40,270
So...
183
00:10:40,511 --> 00:10:41,569
...we're good?
184
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,070
Yeah.
185
00:10:44,248 --> 00:10:45,374
CHARLIE:
Great.
186
00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:48,851
What do you wanna do today?
Whatever makes you happy.
187
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,352
- Really?
- I'll go anywhere, I'll do anything.
188
00:10:51,522 --> 00:10:53,456
Of course, you'll have to drive.
189
00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:57,423
I was going to Beverly Hills
for this charity blood drive.
190
00:10:57,595 --> 00:11:01,122
Great. We'll give blood together.
Nothing I like better on a Sunday...
191
00:11:01,299 --> 00:11:03,233
...than tapping a vein
for a good cause.
192
00:11:03,768 --> 00:11:05,759
Terrific. Brad'll be happy to see us.
193
00:11:07,004 --> 00:11:09,234
- Brad?
- It's his charity.
194
00:11:10,107 --> 00:11:13,304
He's got another charity?
What the hell is this guy's problem?
195
00:11:14,211 --> 00:11:17,874
It's not a problem, Charlie.
He's a caring and compassionate man.
196
00:11:18,049 --> 00:11:21,041
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
he's a freaking saint.
197
00:11:21,218 --> 00:11:23,379
And you were planning on
seeing him again.
198
00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:26,318
Well, yeah. He told me about
the blood drive last night.
199
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:29,323
Right, right, while you were
"cleaning up."
200
00:11:29,493 --> 00:11:30,926
What's "this"?
201
00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:33,620
Oh, I think you know what "this" is.
202
00:11:34,899 --> 00:11:36,161
Just go to hell.
203
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:40,998
I'm not the one sneaking around, seeing
somebody behind my fiancé's back.
204
00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:43,970
I am not sneaking around.
I asked you to go with me.
205
00:11:44,141 --> 00:11:46,336
Figuring that I wouldn't. Very sneaky.
206
00:11:46,510 --> 00:11:47,738
Drop dead.
207
00:11:47,912 --> 00:11:48,936
[DOOR SLAMS]
208
00:11:49,113 --> 00:11:51,308
[GRINDER BUZZING]
209
00:11:51,882 --> 00:11:53,577
Fixed it.
210
00:12:05,429 --> 00:12:06,862
So...
211
00:12:08,366 --> 00:12:11,392
...when are you gonna call Chelsea
and tell her you're sorry?
212
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,837
Okay, first of all,
I have nothing to be sorry about.
213
00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:17,769
I am not gonna discuss my life...
214
00:12:17,942 --> 00:12:20,433
...with someone whose girlfriend
is a gym sock.
215
00:12:20,611 --> 00:12:24,775
Wow, no wonder she left.
You just lash out for no reason.
216
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:27,510
EVELYN:
Hello?
217
00:12:27,685 --> 00:12:30,415
Out here. That's my reason.
218
00:12:30,588 --> 00:12:33,751
Boo-hoo. When are you gonna stop blaming
your problems on your mommy?
219
00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:39,619
Charlie, where's your bride-to-be?
We were gonna finalize the guest list.
220
00:12:40,197 --> 00:12:42,688
- She's not here.
- She told him to go to hell.
221
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,699
Will you please shut up?
222
00:12:44,869 --> 00:12:47,099
Oh, Charles, what did you do?
223
00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:50,434
- I didn't do anything.
- He slept on the couch last night.
224
00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:52,833
Nobody's talking to you.
225
00:12:53,277 --> 00:12:55,802
And this is
what we've been living with.
226
00:12:57,014 --> 00:13:00,506
Stop heating your socks
in the microwave, you little freak.
227
00:13:00,684 --> 00:13:03,619
Charlie, please don't let this girl
get away.
228
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:05,050
Don't worry, I won't.
229
00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:08,453
Good, because she's one in a million
and you're a dime a dozen.
230
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:12,728
Yeah, but I'm the underdog
and everybody loves the underdog.
231
00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:15,388
Oh, God, now you sound
like your brother.
232
00:13:17,368 --> 00:13:19,199
How do you plan on getting her back?
233
00:13:19,703 --> 00:13:21,534
I'm gonna become a better man.
234
00:13:22,373 --> 00:13:25,740
Great, so no plan at all.
235
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:31,848
MAN [ON TV]: Later on tonight
it gets windy, even in Southern California.
236
00:13:32,016 --> 00:13:35,349
By tomorrow, watch those passes
coming down through the Grapevine...
237
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:36,816
What's the forecast?
238
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,888
[SLURRING]
High tonight, low tomorrow.
239
00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:44,755
A hundred percent
chance of hangover.
240
00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:47,253
Heard from Chelsea?
241
00:13:47,431 --> 00:13:50,525
She's staying with her
father for a few days.
242
00:13:50,701 --> 00:13:53,602
At least that's what she e-mailed me.
243
00:13:53,771 --> 00:13:56,205
You don't think she could be with?
244
00:13:56,373 --> 00:14:01,401
Go ahead, say it. Brad.
245
00:14:03,781 --> 00:14:07,239
You know what?
If she is, fine. Good riddance.
246
00:14:07,418 --> 00:14:10,285
I was never meant to be
tied down to one woman anyway.
247
00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:12,319
Well, you are by nature a free spirit.
248
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:17,052
I miss her, Alan!
I can't live without her!
249
00:14:17,228 --> 00:14:18,422
And you don't have to.
250
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,621
Remember our talk?
Becoming a better man?
251
00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:23,266
Screw it! I'm as good
as I'm ever gonna be!
252
00:14:23,434 --> 00:14:27,632
- Lf she doesn't like it, the hell with her!
- That is true. In a healthy relationship...
253
00:14:27,805 --> 00:14:29,864
...your partner accepts you
for who you are.
254
00:14:30,307 --> 00:14:34,107
Oh, she deserves better
than me, Alan.
255
00:14:34,278 --> 00:14:36,269
She's such a wonderful gal.
256
00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:37,778
I know. I know.
257
00:14:37,948 --> 00:14:41,440
She's like an angel.
258
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,246
She sure is.
259
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:46,719
Then why is she
running off with Brad?
260
00:14:47,691 --> 00:14:50,319
We don't know that she's
running off with anyone.
261
00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:53,156
This is not angel behavior, Alan.
262
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:57,323
You know what kind of
behavior this is? Charlie behavior.
263
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:03,502
I took an angel
and I turned her into me!
264
00:15:20,224 --> 00:15:21,919
Charlie?
265
00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:27,157
I can't sleep in my bed,
it smells like Chelsea.
266
00:15:28,232 --> 00:15:32,828
Okay, well, why don't you stay here...
267
00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:36,871
...and I'll go sleep in your room?
- No, no, no, don't go.
268
00:15:38,175 --> 00:15:40,643
I don't wanna be alone.
269
00:15:41,312 --> 00:15:42,802
All right.
270
00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:47,143
You're wearing
pajama bottoms, right?
271
00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:50,819
Shh.
272
00:15:51,755 --> 00:15:53,882
Exactly how drunk are you?
273
00:15:57,494 --> 00:16:01,726
Both questions asked and answered.
274
00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:06,759
[PHONE RINGING]
275
00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,368
What?
276
00:16:16,146 --> 00:16:18,273
Oh, hi, Chelsea.
277
00:16:18,482 --> 00:16:21,542
No. No, he's up.
278
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:23,613
Or not.
279
00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:27,724
Hang on, I'll find him.
280
00:16:28,392 --> 00:16:30,019
Charlie?
281
00:16:30,694 --> 00:16:32,218
Charlie?
282
00:16:36,634 --> 00:16:38,226
Found him. Hold on.
283
00:16:38,402 --> 00:16:40,131
Hey, Charlie.
284
00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:42,863
- What?
- You got a phone call.
285
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,372
- I'll call back.
- It's your fiancée.
286
00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:49,879
Oh, hey, baby.
287
00:16:50,547 --> 00:16:53,380
No, no. No, I've been up for a while.
288
00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:56,018
So how are you?
289
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,987
Uh-huh.
290
00:16:58,155 --> 00:16:59,247
What's going on?
291
00:16:59,423 --> 00:17:02,722
Man, you'll do anything not to
kick in a little rent, won't you?
292
00:17:04,561 --> 00:17:07,928
Are you coming home?
I really miss you.
293
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:12,558
Uh, sure, I can meet you for coffee,
no problem.
294
00:17:12,736 --> 00:17:16,672
Half hour? No problem. See you.
295
00:17:17,074 --> 00:17:18,541
[GROANS]
296
00:17:18,909 --> 00:17:20,570
Problem?
297
00:17:21,545 --> 00:17:23,376
What the hell are you doing here?
298
00:17:27,084 --> 00:17:29,279
Hi, sweetie.
299
00:17:30,421 --> 00:17:33,049
- Sorry I'm late.
- I got you some coffee.
300
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:34,986
Thank you.
301
00:17:41,598 --> 00:17:42,758
Isn't that awfully hot?
302
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:45,258
Scalding.
303
00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:49,264
Ahh. Whew.
304
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:53,141
- So, what's new?
- We need to talk about Brad.
305
00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:55,505
No, no, we don't.
306
00:17:55,679 --> 00:18:00,275
I'm sorry. I trust you and I was
totally and completely wrong...
307
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:02,612
...to think there might be
something going on.
308
00:18:03,053 --> 00:18:06,955
- Thank you for that.
- You're welcome. Okay, let's go home.
309
00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:11,354
Hold on, I do have
a confession to make.
310
00:18:11,528 --> 00:18:13,826
Oh, this is never good.
311
00:18:15,866 --> 00:18:19,802
The reason I got so upset by
the things you said was because...
312
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:21,301
...you touched a nerve.
313
00:18:21,472 --> 00:18:26,341
Yeah, I do that, I'm a nerve toucher.
Runs in the family.
314
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:28,034
Okay, well, confession's over.
315
00:18:28,212 --> 00:18:30,646
You forgive me, I forgive you.
Let's go home.
316
00:18:31,348 --> 00:18:34,112
- I'm not done.
- Oh, crap.
317
00:18:37,421 --> 00:18:40,288
The thing is,
I was kind of attracted to Brad.
318
00:18:42,392 --> 00:18:45,520
He's a great guy
and we have a lot in common.
319
00:18:45,696 --> 00:18:50,292
He loves his family and he really cares
about his friends and his community.
320
00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:54,802
I'm taking from your tone
that stuff's important to you.
321
00:18:55,439 --> 00:18:57,373
Yes, Charlie, it's important to me.
322
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,236
Okay.
323
00:19:00,344 --> 00:19:04,007
Did you and Brad do anything
other than talk?
324
00:19:04,448 --> 00:19:06,541
Of course not. Nothing's happened.
325
00:19:06,717 --> 00:19:08,378
Oh, thank God.
326
00:19:08,552 --> 00:19:10,611
But while I do love you...
327
00:19:10,788 --> 00:19:12,983
...I need to know
you care as much as I do.
328
00:19:13,157 --> 00:19:15,455
- I do.
- You say that...
329
00:19:15,659 --> 00:19:18,150
...but are you willing to
work on our relationship?
330
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:23,095
Of course I am. We can start doing
things together, community things.
331
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:26,031
You know, with the kids that are poor...
332
00:19:26,203 --> 00:19:29,195
...and the old people
that fall and can't get up.
333
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,170
- What about your family?
- I'll get a new family.
334
00:19:34,778 --> 00:19:39,477
I'm telling you, I can change,
I can be a better man...
335
00:19:39,683 --> 00:19:43,983
...the man you want me to be.
And I promise you...
336
00:19:44,188 --> 00:19:45,917
Excuse me.
337
00:19:47,057 --> 00:19:48,081
[VOMITS]
338
00:19:48,258 --> 00:19:50,385
- Oh, my God!
- I am so, so sorry.
339
00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:53,052
You threw up on my baby!
340
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,424
[BABY CRYING]
341
00:19:54,598 --> 00:19:57,624
Anyway, to be fair,
I don't think the carrots were mine.
342
00:19:57,801 --> 00:19:59,564
Get away from him, you pig!
343
00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:02,102
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
344
00:20:03,574 --> 00:20:05,439
Cute kid.
345
00:20:08,846 --> 00:20:10,473
Chels?
346
00:20:15,919 --> 00:20:16,943
[SIGHS]
347
00:20:17,721 --> 00:20:19,450
Damn.
348
00:20:29,866 --> 00:20:31,265
[EVELYN SIGHS]
349
00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:34,262
I just got a call from Chelsea.
350
00:20:34,871 --> 00:20:36,566
Oh, yeah?
351
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:40,073
She said she wants to
postpone the wedding.
352
00:20:41,044 --> 00:20:42,671
I know.
353
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,180
I'm sorry.
354
00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:47,874
Thanks.
355
00:20:49,219 --> 00:20:54,714
Believe it or not, I do love you
and I hate to see you hurt.
356
00:20:54,891 --> 00:20:59,191
Yeah, well, I guess
I kind of had it coming.
357
00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:01,593
But you tried.
358
00:21:01,765 --> 00:21:03,756
I did.
359
00:21:05,902 --> 00:21:07,665
I just have one question.
360
00:21:08,639 --> 00:21:09,731
What's that?
361
00:21:09,906 --> 00:21:11,999
Did you really vomit on a baby?
362
00:21:18,315 --> 00:21:20,715
Don't beat yourself up too much.
363
00:21:20,884 --> 00:21:22,909
We've all done that.
364
00:21:23,887 --> 00:21:25,616
You're kidding.
365
00:21:26,623 --> 00:21:31,390
Of course, most of us
do it on our own babies.
366
00:22:01,992 --> 00:22:03,983
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]