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NARRATOR:
Previously on Two and a Half Men:
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I think you should move in.
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- You bet your ass you're not gonna do it.
- I'm moving in with Lyndsey.
4
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- Alan?
- Lyndsey and I...
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have decided to live together.
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Well, here we are. The final goodbye.
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One can only hope.
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- Alan?
- Melissa?
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00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:21,685
- I've missed you.
- So seeing anybody?
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- Nope. You?
- Nope.
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- Alan?
- I'll explain later.
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Hey, Charlie.
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I'm still moving in with Lyndsey.
This will just be my pied-à-terre.
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I'm sorry I have to go.
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Me too. I mean, that you have to go,
not that I have to go.
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Why would I have to go?
I live here. Heh.
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- Can we do this again?
- Again?
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Well, maybe you can do it again,
but men are different.
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I mean, another time.
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Oh, sure. Why not? I live here.
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- Ha, ha. Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
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All right.
I know what you're gonna say.
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I don't think you do.
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It was wrong, I'm cheating on Lyndsey,
I'm lying to Melissa.
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No, no, no. What I was gonna say is...
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you don't live here. You moved out.
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Not officially.
I never made it to Lyndsey's house.
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- Speaking of which, I should get going.
- Alan, listen to me.
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If you screw this up,
you're gonna wind up back here.
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You need to understand something.
There is no "back here."
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I got it, got it. It was a crazy impulse.
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Ha, ha. Old girlfriend,
it was a one-time thing.
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Uh, well, technically,
it was a two-time thing.
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Second one was in the shower.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Well, that is where
you've been practicing.
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You know, you have to admit,
this is a very curious turn of events.
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I mean, seven years ago...
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I arrived on this very doorstep,
heartbroken and alone...
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and you had chicks
coming out the kazoo.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Now look at us.
The student has become the master.
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Arigato, sensei.
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Ow!
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You're welcome, grasshopper.
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Lyndsey? You in here?
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LYNDSEY: What took so long?
I was getting worried.
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Well, uh, saying goodbye to Charlie
turned out to be tougher...
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than I thought it was gonna be.
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He didn't wanna see
his baby brother go.
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LYNDSEY: You're kidding.
ALAN: Nope.
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Charlie may be prickly
and crusty on the outside...
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but inside, he's all soft and gooey.
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Kind of like a pudding-filled cactus.
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Well, I'm glad you're back because
I have a moving-in present for you.
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Oh, great. Please don't be sex,
please don't be sex, please don't be sex.
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Ta-da.
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Oh, boy, sex.
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LYNDSEY:
Mm.
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I sent the kids to the movies
so it's just you and me.
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So no interruptions. Goodie.
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Come on, unwrap your present.
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All right, um, but how about
we make this one about your pleasure?
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- Aren't you in the mood?
- Of course I'm in the mood. I'm a man.
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Men are always in the mood, heh.
Hmm...
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Sex.
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[CHUCKLES]
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How about we do the first one fast
and the second one nice and slow?
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- Heh, second one?
- Mm... Mm...
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Oh, yay.
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End of an era, huh, Charlie?
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Yep. From now on,
no brother, no nephew...
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just the sounds of the ocean...
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punctuated by the soft voices
of prostitutes...
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lying about the enormity
of my sexual organ.
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You do know how to paint a picture.
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What can I say?
I have the heart of a poet.
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Unfortunately, the rest of you
is a drunken scumbag.
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Cheers.
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BOTH:
Ahh!
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ALAN [IN DISTANCE]:
Hello?
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Don't move, don't breathe.
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Charlie? Berta?
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Oh, there you are.
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Um, listen, I know I said
it was a one-time thing with Melissa...
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00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:27,468
but she called and wanted to see me
and I just couldn't say no.
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So she's coming here?
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This is where I live, you know,
as far as she's concerned.
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- Would you excuse me for a minute?
- Take your time.
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Thank you.
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Come, let's talk.
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- Here's the thing...
- Are you insane?
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- Have you lost your mind?
- I know my future is with Lyndsey...
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but I have so much chemistry
with Melissa.
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- You can't keep this up.
- I know.
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Last time,
I had to fake an orgasm with Lyndsey.
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What? How does a man fake an orgasm?
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[MOANING THEN SCREAMING]
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I get it.
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Please. Please, I'm begging you.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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- Oh, okay, that's Melissa.
- No, Alan, this ends now.
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I swear, last time. You got any Viagra?
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What?
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Not for now, for when I go home.
So I don't have to, you know:
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[SCREAMING]
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- God, I missed you.
- I missed you too.
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[ALAN CHUCKLES]
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MELISSA: Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
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I know a guy.
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Ten grand,
you'll never have to see zippy again.
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Ten grand?
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Actually, he charges 500
but there's a finder's fee.
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- Alan, dinner's on the table.
ALAN [IN DISTANCE]: Coming.
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- You're a great cook, Mrs. MacElroy.
- Jake, I told you. Call me Lyndsey.
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- Yes, ma'am.
- You are such a sweetie.
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You could learn something from him.
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- Suck up.
- Suck up with a drumstick.
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I noticed this pipe on the mantel.
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- It's a beauty.
- It was my grandfather's.
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Oh, wow.
They don't make them like this anymore.
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Hello, boys. How about
a little orange juice with your dinner?
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[IN SINGSONG VOICE]
Ba-ba-ba-bum.
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- Is he high?
- I wish.
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- I love a man with a pipe.
- Ha, ha.
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You should get some tobacco for it.
127
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Your dad's gonna smoke
a dead guy's pipe.
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At least he didn't get hair plugs and
run off with my babysitter like your dad.
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- Ow.
- Ow.
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Now, boys, behave yourselves...
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or I'll pull out my b-b-b-belt.
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Alan, sit down.
White meat or dark meat?
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[IN SINGSONG VOICE]
I'll take a b-b-b-breast.
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- Is that supposed to be somebody?
- It's Bing Crosby.
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Oh! Heh.
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00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,734
- Who?
- Bing Crosby.
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The black guy with the sweater,
used to have a TV show.
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00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:52,745
That's Will Smith, dumb-ass.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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00:07:04,801 --> 00:07:06,082
Hmm.
141
00:07:06,261 --> 00:07:08,135
That's weird.
142
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Hey, Charlie.
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00:07:19,608 --> 00:07:21,232
Oh, boy.
145
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Isn't this nice,
eating together as a family?
146
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,938
It certainly is, Mother.
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00:07:27,449 --> 00:07:31,447
Maybe afterwards we can gather round
the fireside and sing a song or two.
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Seriously, Alan,
that's not funny anymore.
149
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- And don't call me Mother.
- Sorry.
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00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:42,662
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
151
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And in this house, we don't talk
on the phone during dinner.
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Oh, right, yeah.
153
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:50,131
Terrific rule,
but, uh, I just have to take this.
154
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:55,176
Hey, Charlie. What's up?
155
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Oh, she's there now?
156
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:01,899
Well, what do you want me to do?
157
00:08:02,693 --> 00:08:04,981
We're all gonna die, Charlie.
158
00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:09,156
No, no, no.
Don't send her over here.
159
00:08:09,324 --> 00:08:12,325
No. I'll be right there.
Just give me a minute.
160
00:08:16,373 --> 00:08:18,531
Okay, let me tell you something.
161
00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:19,907
This is now my house too.
162
00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:22,243
If I want to talk on the phone,
I'm going to.
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- What's wrong with you?
- Don't you nag me, woman.
164
00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:30,169
- Where are you going?
- I am going to take a drive and cool off.
165
00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:32,172
Mother.
166
00:08:37,019 --> 00:08:38,762
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
167
00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:41,262
Doesn't Alan usually come home
right after work?
168
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,847
- Usually.
- Hope he didn't get into an accident.
169
00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:46,025
No, I'm not that lucky.
170
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,568
- How can you say that?
- I'm just stating a fact.
171
00:08:50,866 --> 00:08:54,365
Charlie, I'm home from work.
Oh, Melissa, ha, ha, what the heck?
172
00:08:55,537 --> 00:08:58,871
I wanted to surprise you,
but you were so late we started to worry.
173
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,914
She's using the royal "we."
174
00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:06,292
I would've been home earlier, but we had
a, uh, little situation at the office.
175
00:09:06,465 --> 00:09:08,872
Oh, no. What happened?
176
00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:15,722
Um, well, I, uh, lost a patient.
177
00:09:15,891 --> 00:09:17,718
Oh, my God, someone died?
178
00:09:17,893 --> 00:09:20,763
Oh, no, no.
Not, you know, lost like died.
179
00:09:20,937 --> 00:09:24,389
Uh, more like, uh, uh, misplaced.
180
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,107
- Oh, thank goodness.
- Yeah.
181
00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:29,400
- Hey, Alan?
- Yeah?
182
00:09:29,571 --> 00:09:34,566
I'm just wondering. How does
a chiropractor misplace a patient?
183
00:09:38,246 --> 00:09:40,737
- Good question.
- I thought so.
184
00:09:42,751 --> 00:09:45,752
Well, uh, he's an elderly fellow...
185
00:09:45,921 --> 00:09:49,586
uh, who in addition to scoliosis...
186
00:09:49,758 --> 00:09:52,593
also has dementia.
187
00:09:52,761 --> 00:09:56,806
I just spent the last hour and a half
driving up Ventura Boulevard...
188
00:09:56,973 --> 00:10:01,267
looking for a, you know, shirtless,
hunched-over, 80-year-old man.
189
00:10:01,937 --> 00:10:03,929
Found quite a few, heh.
190
00:10:04,439 --> 00:10:06,183
But, uh, none of them were mine.
191
00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:07,603
[CHUCKLES]
192
00:10:07,776 --> 00:10:08,939
So he's still out there?
193
00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:14,114
Yeah.
194
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,194
Did you call the police?
195
00:10:19,037 --> 00:10:20,318
Yes, Charlie, I did.
196
00:10:20,914 --> 00:10:22,788
What did they say?
197
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:25,792
They thanked me for my help...
198
00:10:25,961 --> 00:10:30,124
and told me to go home
and let them do their job.
199
00:10:30,298 --> 00:10:32,338
So here I am. Home.
200
00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:33,540
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:10:33,719 --> 00:10:35,427
- Better late than never.
- Oh, please.
202
00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:37,469
You've never given never a chance.
203
00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:38,718
Do you mind?
204
00:10:38,932 --> 00:10:40,841
I do. I thought I made that clear.
205
00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:42,049
All right, all right.
206
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:45,477
- Melissa, we can't do this anymore.
- I agree.
207
00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:47,225
- You do?
- Yes.
208
00:10:47,441 --> 00:10:49,232
I think I should move in here with you.
209
00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:51,478
- Here?
- Here?
210
00:10:51,945 --> 00:10:54,151
Why don't we talk about it
after we make love?
211
00:10:54,698 --> 00:10:56,489
Okay.
212
00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,740
It could work.
213
00:11:08,337 --> 00:11:10,329
I'm just gonna go home
and get some things.
214
00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:12,581
- I'll be back in a little while.
- Great.
215
00:11:12,883 --> 00:11:15,338
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
216
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,049
That's really getting annoying.
217
00:11:21,224 --> 00:11:23,680
Do me a favor, talk me through this.
218
00:11:23,852 --> 00:11:25,845
- Excuse me?
- What's your strategy?
219
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,690
[IMITATES RICKY RICARDO]
Explain it to me, Lucy.
220
00:11:29,191 --> 00:11:32,441
Okay, admittedly I may have overplayed
my hand a little.
221
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:33,690
[IN NORMAL VOICE] A little?
222
00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:38,904
You're living with Lyndsey
and you asked Melissa to move in here.
223
00:11:39,409 --> 00:11:40,868
Yeah, I gotta work on that.
224
00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:44,701
So listen, when Melissa comes back,
make some sort of excuse.
225
00:11:44,873 --> 00:11:47,031
What? Like I was cruising
Ventura Boulevard...
226
00:11:47,209 --> 00:11:49,367
for an old, shirtless hunchback?
227
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:53,542
Yeah, not my finest moment.
You're experienced at that kind of thing.
228
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:55,542
No, no, I'm experienced at promiscuity.
229
00:11:55,717 --> 00:11:59,964
This is polygamy. And frankly,
I find it extremely distasteful.
230
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,464
Oh, this you find distasteful?
231
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:05,558
The man who was asked
to leave Bangkok for moral turpitude...
232
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:09,096
finds this distasteful?
233
00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,894
That was a misunderstanding.
234
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,902
I had no idea
it was an endangered species.
235
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:17,561
Nothing I'm doing requires
a 10-day quarantine...
236
00:12:17,739 --> 00:12:20,230
and a series of rabies shots.
237
00:12:20,617 --> 00:12:24,116
- Oh, hello.
- Oh, Mom, thank God you're here.
238
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,446
Your sarcasm is unappreciated,
Charlie.
239
00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:30,492
No, really. You gotta talk to Alan,
tell him not to screw up with Lyndsey.
240
00:12:30,669 --> 00:12:32,293
- Who's Lyndsey?
- My girlfriend.
241
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:35,132
- You have a girlfriend?
- He moved in with her.
242
00:12:35,298 --> 00:12:36,841
You moved in with a girlfriend?
243
00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:39,173
Yeah. He's cheating
with his ex-girlfriend...
244
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:42,131
and he invited that one
to move in here.
245
00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:45,010
When were you planning
to tell me all this?
246
00:12:45,183 --> 00:12:48,101
- We're telling you now.
- So as usual, I'm the last to know.
247
00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:49,812
Mom, Mom, focus.
248
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:53,313
He moved out. After seven years
of putting up with him and his kid...
249
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,690
he finally moved.
I need him to stay out.
250
00:12:55,861 --> 00:12:59,111
So Jake is gone too?
No one thought to call me.
251
00:13:00,115 --> 00:13:02,820
Okay, as usual, you're just useless.
252
00:13:03,785 --> 00:13:06,455
Alan, this can't go on any longer.
You have to choose...
253
00:13:06,621 --> 00:13:09,373
between Lyndsey and Melissa
and you have to choose now.
254
00:13:09,791 --> 00:13:12,282
You're right, you're right.
255
00:13:12,461 --> 00:13:14,786
What to do?
256
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,039
When did he start smoking a pipe?
257
00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:19,255
I don't know. This is new.
258
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:20,457
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
259
00:13:20,635 --> 00:13:22,462
- That's probably Lyndsey.
- Which one is Lyndsey?
260
00:13:22,637 --> 00:13:25,508
- The one he moved in with.
- What's wrong with her?
261
00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:28,641
- Single mom, teenage son.
- So, desperate?
262
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:31,301
Like a goldfish in a leaky bag.
263
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:36,818
Oh, my God.
Lyndsey is apologizing to me, ha, ha...
264
00:13:36,985 --> 00:13:38,148
says she was wrong.
265
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,443
- About what?
- What difference does it make?
266
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:41,812
[LAUGHING]
267
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:44,315
I won an argument with a woman.
268
00:13:44,993 --> 00:13:50,367
Which is why she's the gal for you.
Go to her. Love her. Cherish her.
269
00:13:50,832 --> 00:13:51,912
I don't know.
270
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,750
Okay, then take her for granted...
271
00:13:53,919 --> 00:13:56,836
and treat her like crap
until she hangs herself, but go.
272
00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:59,454
- What about Melissa?
- You have to break that off.
273
00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:02,836
You're right. You're right.
I have to step up and be a man.
274
00:14:03,011 --> 00:14:05,502
- What are you doing?
- Telling Melissa it's over.
275
00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:08,337
With a text?
276
00:14:08,517 --> 00:14:11,767
Well, I'm putting a little sad face
at the end.
277
00:14:14,147 --> 00:14:18,856
All right.
Well, uh, I guess it's time to go home...
278
00:14:19,027 --> 00:14:22,230
and come clean with Lyndsey.
- No, no, no. No coming clean.
279
00:14:22,406 --> 00:14:24,861
Unless you're banging Mr. Bubble.
280
00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:30,118
I don't want to build our new life
together on a foundation of lies.
281
00:14:30,288 --> 00:14:31,783
Oh, yes, you do.
282
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,784
Listen to your mother.
283
00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:40,375
Trust me. No good ever comes
from revealing an indiscretion.
284
00:14:40,549 --> 00:14:41,711
And you know this how?
285
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:43,461
I'd rather not say.
286
00:14:44,469 --> 00:14:46,296
You're saying when you were married...
287
00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:49,556
Whoa, whoa.
When did everything become about me?
288
00:14:49,725 --> 00:14:51,100
When we were born.
289
00:14:51,268 --> 00:14:55,218
Don't get me started on that.
My episiotomy still itches.
290
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,563
My point, Alan, is it is not fair
to ease your conscience...
291
00:15:02,738 --> 00:15:04,979
by dumping your sins
on the woman you love.
292
00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:06,741
Yeah, Alan, don't be selfish.
293
00:15:06,908 --> 00:15:07,940
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
294
00:15:08,118 --> 00:15:09,909
Oh, what now?
295
00:15:10,579 --> 00:15:14,161
Oh, Melissa is not taking it well.
296
00:15:14,332 --> 00:15:17,748
"I hate you, you stupid cork-soaker"?
297
00:15:19,087 --> 00:15:21,874
Auto spellcheck. Anyway.
298
00:15:22,049 --> 00:15:25,418
I gotta go. Bye, Mom.
299
00:15:27,554 --> 00:15:31,303
- Ahh, okay, dodged a bullet.
- Yep.
300
00:15:31,475 --> 00:15:34,179
So now that he's gone, what are you
gonna do with that empty room?
301
00:15:34,353 --> 00:15:37,722
- Uh, why do you ask?
- I was just thinking...
302
00:15:37,898 --> 00:15:42,061
it might be nice to spend the
occasional weekend here on the beach.
303
00:15:42,903 --> 00:15:46,603
Oh, darling, you should see your face.
304
00:15:46,782 --> 00:15:48,905
[LAUGHING]
305
00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:55,116
- Hey.
- Oh, thank God you're back.
306
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,995
- Sorry I stormed off like that.
- No, no.
307
00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,199
You had every right.
308
00:15:59,378 --> 00:16:01,750
Sorry I treated you like
some kind of house guest.
309
00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:03,914
Oh, that's okay, I'm used to it.
310
00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:06,878
Seven years with Charlie,
a dozen years with Judith...
311
00:16:07,052 --> 00:16:09,128
and all that time with my mom.
312
00:16:09,346 --> 00:16:11,385
Well, from now on,
this house is your home.
313
00:16:11,556 --> 00:16:13,181
If you wanna talk on the phone...
314
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:15,592
you just go right ahead and do it.
- Really?
315
00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:18,928
Can I hang my
Chiropractor of the Year plaque?
316
00:16:19,106 --> 00:16:21,063
- Of course.
- In the living room?
317
00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:22,395
Wherever you want.
318
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,690
Charlie made me hang it
in my bathroom.
319
00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:28,480
I'm not Charlie, and I'm proud
you're chiropractor of the year.
320
00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:31,990
Oh, not this year. 2002.
321
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,402
After that,
they tightened up the voting rules.
322
00:16:35,205 --> 00:16:38,491
So, uh, what about acidophilus milk?
323
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,541
- What about it?
- I like it.
324
00:16:40,711 --> 00:16:43,380
- Then we'll get it.
- I can keep it in the refrigerator?
325
00:16:43,547 --> 00:16:44,661
Where else would you?
326
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,505
Charlie made me keep all my dairy
products in an ice chest in the garage.
327
00:16:48,677 --> 00:16:49,875
That's terrible.
328
00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:52,961
I lost so much cheese.
329
00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:56,221
Oh, honey.
Well, this is your home now...
330
00:16:56,393 --> 00:16:58,848
and you can put your cheese
wherever you want.
331
00:17:00,022 --> 00:17:01,480
Sing show tunes in the shower?
332
00:17:01,648 --> 00:17:04,566
- Charlie didn't let you sing show tunes?
- That was my mother.
333
00:17:04,735 --> 00:17:06,692
Said I was effeminate enough already.
334
00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:10,280
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
you are all man.
335
00:17:10,615 --> 00:17:13,403
Oh, Lyndsey, you're too good to me.
336
00:17:14,077 --> 00:17:16,366
Oh, it's only what you deserve.
337
00:17:17,372 --> 00:17:21,452
Okay, I can't live with this guilt.
I have to confess something.
338
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:23,251
What?
339
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,705
Okay, a few days ago
I ran into an ex-girlfriend...
340
00:17:26,882 --> 00:17:29,420
who I had a lot of chemistry with.
- You had sex.
341
00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:31,632
Let me finish.
342
00:17:33,764 --> 00:17:35,637
No.
343
00:17:37,809 --> 00:17:40,347
I did not have sex with her.
344
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,979
Then why do you feel guilty?
345
00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:45,809
Uh... Well, after I ran into her...
346
00:17:45,984 --> 00:17:49,602
I, uh, uh, found myself...
347
00:17:49,780 --> 00:17:53,065
fantasizing about her.
348
00:17:53,742 --> 00:17:56,197
- Fantasizing? That's it?
- That's it.
349
00:17:56,411 --> 00:17:58,700
And nothing crazy,
just straight missionary.
350
00:17:58,914 --> 00:18:02,864
Sweetie, we all fantasize.
351
00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:04,703
Every time I go to the car wash...
352
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,245
I imagine myself
being bent over a soapy BMW...
353
00:18:07,422 --> 00:18:09,913
by a man with callused hands
and no green card.
354
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,128
Really? Every time?
355
00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:14,593
It's not always a BMW.
356
00:18:14,763 --> 00:18:16,921
Come on, let's go to bed.
357
00:18:17,099 --> 00:18:18,130
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
358
00:18:18,308 --> 00:18:20,052
- Ha, ha.
- Don't ruin it.
359
00:18:30,278 --> 00:18:32,604
[DOORBELL RINGS]
360
00:18:37,536 --> 00:18:39,279
Crap.
361
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:44,541
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
362
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,459
I'm gonna give you one last chance.
Where is he?
363
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:50,539
I'm sorry. I don't...
364
00:18:50,716 --> 00:18:52,293
[GRUNTS]
365
00:18:56,555 --> 00:18:59,128
[GROANING]
366
00:19:00,017 --> 00:19:04,643
- What's going on?
- She kneed me in the nuts.
367
00:19:04,813 --> 00:19:07,221
- What'd you do to her?
- Nothing.
368
00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:10,684
- What'd he do to you?
- He won't tell me where his brother is.
369
00:19:10,861 --> 00:19:12,937
I can't. I'm not a rat.
370
00:19:13,113 --> 00:19:15,402
What are you gonna do to Alan
when you find him?
371
00:19:15,574 --> 00:19:17,566
Same thing I did to Charlie,
but worse.
372
00:19:17,743 --> 00:19:20,993
He's at Lyndsey's.
1182 Bonnie Meadow Drive.
373
00:19:22,581 --> 00:19:24,573
Sherman Oaks. Big blue house.
374
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:27,836
[GROANING]
375
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,583
I'm sorry, Charlie.
376
00:19:35,093 --> 00:19:36,256
[GROANING]
377
00:19:36,428 --> 00:19:38,717
Oh, stop whining.
378
00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:41,344
On some level,
I'm sure you had it coming.
379
00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:49,556
So I was thinking of turning
that little storage room into a den.
380
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:51,856
You know, kind of a man cave.
381
00:19:52,027 --> 00:19:53,687
Whatever you want, sweetie.
382
00:19:53,862 --> 00:19:54,941
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
383
00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:58,114
So I can get a flat screen,
maybe a wet bar?
384
00:19:58,742 --> 00:20:01,031
If that's what it takes
to make you happy here.
385
00:20:01,745 --> 00:20:03,572
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
386
00:20:04,247 --> 00:20:07,414
Enough talking,
let's make love in our home.
387
00:20:07,584 --> 00:20:10,620
Oh, yes, our home.
388
00:20:15,676 --> 00:20:17,964
Do you smell something burning?
389
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:25,677
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
390
00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:27,973
How are you feeling?
391
00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:31,688
I think she punched my right nut
up into my rib cage.
392
00:20:31,858 --> 00:20:35,025
Poor baby.
You want Mommy to take a look?
393
00:20:35,195 --> 00:20:36,654
No, thanks.
394
00:20:37,239 --> 00:20:40,359
- I have seen them before.
- I know.
395
00:20:40,534 --> 00:20:43,570
I imagine they're hanging
a lot lower now.
396
00:20:45,539 --> 00:20:47,282
Right back at you, Mom.
397
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:50,499
Touché, darling.
398
00:20:59,302 --> 00:21:02,671
You will never guess what happened.
399
00:21:31,251 --> 00:21:33,327
[English - US - SDH]