1 00:00:01,346 --> 00:00:03,160 Previously on: 2 00:00:03,213 --> 00:00:08,822 Zoey, will you do me the honor of becoming Zoey Hyde... 3 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,218 Tottingham-Pierce-Schmidt? 4 00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:15,095 No, I'm sorry! I can't do it! 5 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:17,228 (sobs) 6 00:00:18,266 --> 00:00:20,330 I need an answer. 7 00:00:20,357 --> 00:00:22,157 There's someone else. 8 00:00:22,836 --> 00:00:25,071 Look, I'm just gonna be alone for a while. 9 00:00:25,073 --> 00:00:27,674 And if the real thing comes along, I'll know it. 10 00:00:28,023 --> 00:00:30,073 Excuse me. 11 00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:32,512 Can I have your nuts? 12 00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:34,101 This girl's really interesting. 13 00:00:34,119 --> 00:00:36,763 Actually, I think you know her. Her name's Rose. 14 00:00:36,794 --> 00:00:38,443 See ya! 15 00:00:39,237 --> 00:00:40,687 She's devious and deceptive! 16 00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:43,039 She's probably listening to us right now! 17 00:00:43,041 --> 00:00:45,542 Hey, Rose, how ya doing?! 18 00:00:45,934 --> 00:00:48,378 I told Alan that we met. Boy, did you call that one. 19 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:50,413 Let me guess. At some point did he say, 20 00:00:50,415 --> 00:00:52,645 "She's probably listening to us right now"? 21 00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:55,368 "Hey, Rose, how ya doing?!" 22 00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:57,604 He is very suspicious of you. 23 00:00:57,606 --> 00:00:58,955 Are you suspicious of me? 24 00:00:58,957 --> 00:01:00,840 More curious than suspicious. 25 00:01:00,842 --> 00:01:01,625 Good. 26 00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:03,772 So, what do you say? Dinner? 27 00:01:03,785 --> 00:01:05,128 To dinner. 28 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:08,245 It'll be nice to go out with someone normal for a change. 29 00:01:11,035 --> 00:01:12,986 ♪ Men. ♪ 30 00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:17,774 (both sighing) 31 00:01:17,776 --> 00:01:19,476 Yay! 32 00:01:20,270 --> 00:01:22,529 Yay, indeed. 33 00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:26,449 Ooh, we went a mile and a half. 34 00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:28,433 What is that, a pedometer? 35 00:01:28,441 --> 00:01:30,704 Yes, I'm measuring our sex life, 36 00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:33,942 and as of today, we are in Laughlin, Nevada. 37 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:36,409 Well, I believe I did most of the driving. 38 00:01:36,411 --> 00:01:38,603 Yes. But when you got a flat, 39 00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:40,724 I stopped and pumped it up. 40 00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:44,832 (sighs) 41 00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:48,665 Call me crazy-- and the State of California did for a while-- 42 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,726 but these last couple of weeks have been the best of my life. 43 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:55,000 They have been great. 44 00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:58,047 With the last mile and a half being a particular high point. 45 00:01:58,199 --> 00:02:00,433 That's because you finally stopped 46 00:02:00,446 --> 00:02:02,196 and asked for directions. 47 00:02:02,242 --> 00:02:03,524 (chuckles) 48 00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:07,490 Okay, I better get going. 49 00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:10,228 No, no. Stay the night. 50 00:02:10,249 --> 00:02:12,364 All my stuff is at my house, silly. 51 00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:13,508 What stuff? 52 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,324 I don't know. My toothbrush. 53 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,593 You can use mine. 54 00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:18,052 Ugh! 55 00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:20,538 After what we just did, you're really concerned 56 00:02:20,559 --> 00:02:22,845 with having my toothbrush in your mouth? 57 00:02:24,723 --> 00:02:28,159 I'm just saying, at some point I have to go home. 58 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,522 What if you never had to go home? 59 00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:36,296 Do you mean like you're gonna tie me up 60 00:02:36,304 --> 00:02:38,922 and keep me bound and gagged in the closet? 61 00:02:39,223 --> 00:02:44,711 Uh, no. I was thinking more like you move in with me. 62 00:02:45,168 --> 00:02:47,572 Hmm, that's a little odd. 63 00:02:48,324 --> 00:02:50,440 I mean, come on. You said so yourself, 64 00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:52,334 the last few weeks have been fantastic. 65 00:02:52,353 --> 00:02:54,164 We get along great. Why not? 66 00:02:54,197 --> 00:02:56,050 Why not? 67 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:59,093 Because I don't want to be a flavorless cracker. 68 00:02:59,484 --> 00:03:01,094 Sure. 69 00:03:01,652 --> 00:03:03,018 What? 70 00:03:04,465 --> 00:03:07,467 Well, you know when you order a cheese plate 71 00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:10,127 and you get two different kinds of stinky cheese 72 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:13,973 and then you eat that little, bland, unsalted cracker 73 00:03:13,975 --> 00:03:16,261 in between to cleanse your palate? 74 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:20,654 Not really, but you explained it pretty well. 75 00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:23,867 Well, I don't want to be the bland cracker. 76 00:03:23,883 --> 00:03:26,250 I want to be the stinky cheese. 77 00:03:27,184 --> 00:03:29,201 Okay, I think I understand. 78 00:03:29,235 --> 00:03:31,201 You're concerned 'cause I just got out 79 00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:32,695 of a serious relationship, 80 00:03:32,707 --> 00:03:34,672 and you don't want to be the girl 81 00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:35,992 that gets me to the next one. 82 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:37,384 Exactly. 83 00:03:37,408 --> 00:03:39,641 Well, trust me. 84 00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:43,988 You are the stinkiest cheese I have ever met. 85 00:03:45,372 --> 00:03:47,292 So sweet. 86 00:03:47,336 --> 00:03:50,008 I don't know, it's moving so quickly. 87 00:03:50,039 --> 00:03:53,027 I mean, who could've seen this coming? 88 00:03:54,578 --> 00:03:57,946 Now, I know it's moving quick, but I'm the kind of person 89 00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:01,568 when I see something I want, I stop at nothing to get it. 90 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,055 Wow, I guess opposites really do attract. 91 00:04:08,562 --> 00:04:13,333 Just promise me that you'll think about it. 92 00:04:13,335 --> 00:04:16,891 And you'll think about tying me up in your closet? 93 00:04:17,693 --> 00:04:19,009 I will. 94 00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,413 That seems fair. 95 00:04:23,878 --> 00:04:26,191 You know, if we get started now, we can make it 96 00:04:26,218 --> 00:04:28,167 to Salt Lake City by daybreak. 97 00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:32,796 Okay, but this time I'm driving. 98 00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:34,509 (growls) 99 00:04:34,545 --> 00:04:37,498 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 100 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:40,741 ♪ Men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ ♪ Ooh 101 00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:43,830 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men ♪ ♪ Ooh 102 00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,979 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... ♪ 103 00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,478 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 104 00:04:48,511 --> 00:04:51,810 ♪ Ooh ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men ♪ 105 00:04:51,854 --> 00:04:55,551 ♪ Ah. ♪ Men. 106 00:04:55,953 --> 00:04:59,227 ♪ Two and a Half Men 10x06 ♪ Ferrets, Attack! Original Air Date on November 1, 2012 107 00:04:59,306 --> 00:05:02,485 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by ryangiggsth 108 00:05:02,786 --> 00:05:04,789 ♪ Men. ♪ 109 00:05:04,809 --> 00:05:06,173 I can't believe this. 110 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,108 - After everything she's done. - I know. 111 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:11,245 How did someone like that worm their way back in here? 112 00:05:11,372 --> 00:05:14,306 Maybe she learned from the master. 113 00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:17,413 I'm just worried she's gonna take advantage of Walden. 114 00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:19,905 You do hear yourself when you talk, right? 115 00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:22,960 Yes, yes, I'm a mooch, but I'm not dangerous. 116 00:05:26,008 --> 00:05:29,424 Some night I'm gonna get drunk and try that. 117 00:05:29,859 --> 00:05:31,380 Here he comes. Here he comes. 118 00:05:31,671 --> 00:05:33,277 (sighs) 119 00:05:33,290 --> 00:05:34,289 Morning. 120 00:05:34,303 --> 00:05:35,345 Morning. 121 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,366 So, uh, how's everything going with my, my favorite couple? 122 00:05:38,395 --> 00:05:40,596 Walden and Rose. 123 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:42,603 Wose. 124 00:05:43,788 --> 00:05:45,890 Ralden. 125 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,581 Look, Alan, I know you're suspicious of her, 126 00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:50,216 but she really makes me happy. 127 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,952 No, I-I totally get that, and, you know, 128 00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,742 I don't want to sound judgmental, 129 00:05:53,761 --> 00:05:56,262 but she scares the living crap out of me. 130 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,991 Well, you're gonna have to make peace with her 131 00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:00,127 'cause not only do I like Rose, 132 00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:01,962 I asked her to move in with me. 133 00:06:01,981 --> 00:06:03,663 (laughing) 134 00:06:05,077 --> 00:06:06,472 What's so funny? 135 00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,679 If you don't know, it's too late. 136 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:13,249 ♪ Men. ♪ 137 00:06:13,468 --> 00:06:14,834 (phone rings) 138 00:06:14,892 --> 00:06:16,492 Oh, that's my cell. 139 00:06:16,516 --> 00:06:18,416 Could you grab it for me? 140 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,672 It says "Do not answer." 141 00:06:21,711 --> 00:06:23,744 That's Zoey. 142 00:06:24,696 --> 00:06:27,510 It reminds me to stay strong and not take her calls. 143 00:06:27,543 --> 00:06:28,912 Hello. 144 00:06:29,497 --> 00:06:30,753 Hey, Zoey. 145 00:06:30,771 --> 00:06:32,578 What's going on? 146 00:06:33,899 --> 00:06:36,285 Uh, yeah, I could do that. 147 00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,965 (whispering): She wants to go for coffee. 148 00:06:37,993 --> 00:06:39,326 Why? I don't know. 149 00:06:39,346 --> 00:06:40,956 Ask her. 150 00:06:41,754 --> 00:06:46,013 Hey, uh, just so I have a heads up, is this a... 151 00:06:46,262 --> 00:06:48,985 sad coffee or a happy coffee? 152 00:06:50,069 --> 00:06:51,690 It's a happy coffee. 153 00:06:51,698 --> 00:06:54,429 Great. Can you bring me back a scone? 154 00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,065 Shut up. 155 00:06:57,094 --> 00:07:00,015 Uh, yeah, great, I'll be there in 20. 156 00:07:00,428 --> 00:07:01,676 Okay. 157 00:07:02,146 --> 00:07:03,596 So what do you think's going on? 158 00:07:03,617 --> 00:07:04,849 I don't know. Uh, 159 00:07:04,877 --> 00:07:07,331 she, she said she wants to talk in person. 160 00:07:07,351 --> 00:07:09,889 Ooh, be careful-- in my experience, when an ex wants 161 00:07:09,922 --> 00:07:11,832 to talk in person, it's either to borrow money 162 00:07:11,855 --> 00:07:14,138 or tell you she gave you crabs. 163 00:07:15,564 --> 00:07:18,015 And no one's ever asked me for money. 164 00:07:19,081 --> 00:07:21,196 You share too much. 165 00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:24,410 Besides, she said it was a happy coffee. 166 00:07:24,439 --> 00:07:26,611 Ooh, ooh! Maybe she wants to have sex with the ex. 167 00:07:26,628 --> 00:07:27,950 That's happened to me. 168 00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:30,263 Be careful, that's how I got the crabs. 169 00:07:31,388 --> 00:07:33,386 Well, I'm not going to sleep with her. 170 00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:34,836 I'm with Rose now. Right. 171 00:07:34,848 --> 00:07:37,315 Oh, are you gonna tell Rose that you're meeting Zoey for coffee? 172 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:39,433 Yes, I am not. 173 00:07:40,568 --> 00:07:41,552 Good call. 174 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,906 Hey, how do I look? 175 00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:45,168 Like every screen saver in San Francisco. 176 00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:47,730 Perfect. Okay. 177 00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:50,033 Hey, what does it say on your phone when I call? 178 00:07:50,066 --> 00:07:53,077 Uh, it says, "The old guy who lives downstairs." 179 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,762 Perfect. 180 00:08:00,406 --> 00:08:02,164 ♪ Men. ♪ 181 00:08:02,184 --> 00:08:03,677 Here we go. 182 00:08:03,721 --> 00:08:05,654 Happy coffee. 183 00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:07,257 Thank you. 184 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,111 So, how have you been? 185 00:08:09,131 --> 00:08:10,868 Mmm, good. You? 186 00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:13,075 Good. Good. 187 00:08:13,692 --> 00:08:16,149 - Are we done lying? - Mm-hmm. 188 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,440 Okay, so here it is. 189 00:08:18,729 --> 00:08:20,986 Oh, God, this is very embarrassing. 190 00:08:21,016 --> 00:08:22,866 Crabs? 191 00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:28,564 What? 192 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,635 Nothing. Go on. 193 00:08:31,266 --> 00:08:34,645 So, when you asked me to marry you... 194 00:08:35,524 --> 00:08:37,414 it scared me. 195 00:08:37,491 --> 00:08:38,381 Why? 196 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,583 I went down that road before, Walden. 197 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,437 I got lost. 198 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:46,183 Just wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment again. 199 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,559 Wait a second. 200 00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,241 What about the other guy? 201 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,345 Pe-ter. 202 00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:55,317 I broke up with him. 203 00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:57,067 So sorry. 204 00:08:57,109 --> 00:08:59,559 Oops, apparently I'm not done lying. 205 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,562 You care to know why I broke up with Peter? 206 00:09:03,573 --> 00:09:06,294 Because he wasn't a very good pumpkin eater? 207 00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:13,475 No, I broke up with him because when I was with him, 208 00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:15,857 all I could think about was you. 209 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,526 Oh, this is a very happy coffee. 210 00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:23,889 I'd like another chance, Walden. 211 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,561 My coffee is dancing. 212 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,624 So, do you want to try and make this work? 213 00:09:30,661 --> 00:09:32,465 I do. 214 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,213 But it's a little complicated. 215 00:09:34,243 --> 00:09:36,353 Oh, God, you're seeing someone, aren't you? 216 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,080 Well... 217 00:09:37,097 --> 00:09:39,147 Is it serious? 218 00:09:40,593 --> 00:09:42,994 Nobody's brought their toothbrush over. 219 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,287 I'm sorry, I've put you in a very awkward position. 220 00:09:46,306 --> 00:09:48,825 No, no, it's okay. I just... 221 00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:51,384 I need a little time to figure it out. 222 00:09:51,415 --> 00:09:53,354 Of course you do. I completely understand. 223 00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:55,016 Take all the time you need. 224 00:09:55,499 --> 00:09:57,550 You decided yet? 225 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,773 I'm kidding. 226 00:10:00,795 --> 00:10:02,412 Look, do what you need to do 227 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:04,557 and let me know what happens, okay? 228 00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,630 - Um... - Thanks for meeting me. 229 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,975 Yeah, I'm glad you called. (chuckles) 230 00:10:16,858 --> 00:10:18,775 Oh, boy. 231 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,236 Crabs would've been simpler. 232 00:10:23,151 --> 00:10:24,819 ♪ Men. ♪ 233 00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:27,134 You're not gonna believe this. 234 00:10:27,136 --> 00:10:29,865 Zoey realized she made a huge mistake, 235 00:10:29,883 --> 00:10:31,165 and she wants me back. 236 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,873 Is that crazy or what? 237 00:10:33,025 --> 00:10:34,447 No. 238 00:10:34,471 --> 00:10:35,738 No? 239 00:10:35,972 --> 00:10:38,203 Follow me. I want to show you something. 240 00:10:45,797 --> 00:10:47,081 Rose? 241 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,843 Oh, hi, sweetie. 242 00:10:48,876 --> 00:10:51,212 I brought my toothbrush. 243 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,292 That's crazy. 244 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,744 ♪ Men. ♪ 245 00:10:59,521 --> 00:11:01,261 ♪ Men. ♪ 246 00:11:01,382 --> 00:11:03,632 So, (chuckles) 247 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,013 you decided to move in. 248 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,298 Yep. 249 00:11:07,348 --> 00:11:09,381 You make me so happy. 250 00:11:09,427 --> 00:11:12,024 Now we never have to be apart. 251 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:13,193 Never? 252 00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:15,964 Never, ever. 253 00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:17,140 (chuckles) 254 00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:19,362 Now, if you'll excuse me, 255 00:11:19,406 --> 00:11:22,810 I'm going to go upstairs and make sure the birds are settled. 256 00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:26,002 Great. 257 00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:28,037 Never, ever, ever. 258 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,311 Did she say birds? 259 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,934 Well, I counted four, 260 00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:37,123 but one of them might be dinner for the ferrets. 261 00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:39,683 Ferrets? 262 00:11:39,711 --> 00:11:42,536 I think they were ferrets. Might've been weasels. 263 00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:43,482 Either way, 264 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,951 she recommended we all get rabies shots. 265 00:11:46,571 --> 00:11:49,317 Oh, God, what have I done? 266 00:11:49,359 --> 00:11:51,276 You asked her to move in. 267 00:11:51,325 --> 00:11:53,708 You invited the vampire into the house. 268 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:57,470 In my defense, the vampire was naked at the time. 269 00:11:57,505 --> 00:11:59,905 - So what are you going to do now? - I don't know. 270 00:11:59,938 --> 00:12:01,813 I guess I'll just... 271 00:12:01,864 --> 00:12:04,298 man up and tell Rose I made a mistake. 272 00:12:04,353 --> 00:12:06,208 Ooh, that's a bad idea. 273 00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:09,342 Especially before you get the rabies shot. 274 00:12:09,377 --> 00:12:10,861 You got a better one? 275 00:12:10,889 --> 00:12:12,842 Well, let's see, um, you could always tell her 276 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:14,859 that your, your work is taking you to Europe, 277 00:12:14,873 --> 00:12:16,553 or that you're dying 278 00:12:16,573 --> 00:12:18,405 or that you finally realized you're gay 279 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,918 and you're sick of fighting the feelings you have for me. 280 00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,663 I'm not gonna lie to her. 281 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:29,727 Would it be a lie? 282 00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:35,632 ♪ Men. ♪ 283 00:12:35,951 --> 00:12:37,143 Look at us. 284 00:12:37,163 --> 00:12:38,414 We're like Siamese twins 285 00:12:38,439 --> 00:12:40,890 except we don't have to share any organs, 286 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,206 unless we want to. 287 00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:45,011 (laughs) 288 00:12:45,692 --> 00:12:47,322 Listen, 289 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,807 I need to talk to you about something. 290 00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,421 Sure. 291 00:12:54,369 --> 00:12:56,359 Geez, this is tough. 292 00:12:56,368 --> 00:12:57,424 Just say it. 293 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,024 I want us to be able to talk about anything. 294 00:13:01,604 --> 00:13:03,872 Okay, here goes. 295 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,533 Um... 296 00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:10,365 I'm in love with Alan. 297 00:13:10,385 --> 00:13:12,320 - What? - I'm dying. 298 00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:13,627 You're dying? 299 00:13:13,642 --> 00:13:15,542 For work. In Europe. 300 00:13:16,332 --> 00:13:17,767 Walden, 301 00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,577 what is going on? 302 00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,763 Okay, um... 303 00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:31,325 My old girlfriend called, 304 00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:33,809 and she wants to try again. 305 00:13:43,101 --> 00:13:45,567 How do you feel about that? 306 00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:49,801 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. 307 00:13:49,848 --> 00:13:52,243 Are you still in love with her? 308 00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:56,740 Yes, I am. 309 00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:01,562 I'm sorry, Rose. 310 00:14:05,188 --> 00:14:06,806 No. 311 00:14:09,074 --> 00:14:11,606 No, don't be sorry. 312 00:14:11,699 --> 00:14:14,014 Walden, we've only known each other 313 00:14:14,016 --> 00:14:16,054 for a couple of weeks. 314 00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:18,778 And as wonderful as it's been, 315 00:14:18,909 --> 00:14:21,837 if you feel that you'd be happier with Zoey, 316 00:14:22,091 --> 00:14:24,819 I'm not gonna stand in your way. 317 00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:28,592 Thank you. 318 00:14:31,383 --> 00:14:34,335 How did you know her name is Zoey? 319 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,255 Zoey's a very popular name in England. 320 00:14:38,987 --> 00:14:41,202 Wait, how did you know she's English? 321 00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,894 Because her name's Zoey, silly. 322 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,159 Good-bye, Walden. 323 00:14:50,018 --> 00:14:52,085 Good-bye, Rose. 324 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,140 You know I want you to be happy, don't you? 325 00:14:57,352 --> 00:14:58,579 I do, 326 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,034 and I want you to be happy, too. 327 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,711 Thank you. 328 00:15:07,764 --> 00:15:09,758 Ferrets, attack! 329 00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:15,605 (screams) 330 00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:18,676 ♪ Men. ♪ 331 00:15:18,845 --> 00:15:20,672 Hey, buddy, how're you doing? 332 00:15:20,696 --> 00:15:22,827 Great. I got a promotion. 333 00:15:22,873 --> 00:15:24,242 No kidding. 334 00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:26,419 Yep. I'm the dessert chef in the officer's mess. 335 00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:27,596 Wow. 336 00:15:27,629 --> 00:15:29,412 Yeah, I made this killer crème brûlée 337 00:15:29,432 --> 00:15:31,349 for the enlisted guys and word got out. 338 00:15:31,371 --> 00:15:33,671 Jake, I am so proud of you. 339 00:15:33,688 --> 00:15:35,308 Yeah, they gave me my own blow torch. 340 00:15:35,321 --> 00:15:36,720 You know, to caramelize the sugar. 341 00:15:36,732 --> 00:15:38,047 Check it out. 342 00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:40,184 (fire alarm sounds) 343 00:15:40,186 --> 00:15:41,268 Uh-oh. 344 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:42,989 Not again. 345 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,044 Got to go, Dad. 346 00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:52,754 Well, he's America's problem now. 347 00:15:53,422 --> 00:15:55,505 ♪ Men. ♪ 348 00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:57,523 (doorbell rings) 349 00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,766 Hi. 350 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,322 Hello? 351 00:16:03,339 --> 00:16:04,623 Sorry to bother you. 352 00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:06,313 I'm a friend of Walden's. 353 00:16:06,348 --> 00:16:07,841 Oh, really? 354 00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:10,951 Yes, and we need to talk. 355 00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,328 About what? 356 00:16:13,671 --> 00:16:15,774 It's complicated. 357 00:16:18,612 --> 00:16:20,496 ♪ Men. ♪ 358 00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:22,231 (doorbell rings) 359 00:16:22,406 --> 00:16:23,966 I'll get it. 360 00:16:30,454 --> 00:16:32,338 - Zoey? - Who the hell is... 361 00:16:32,355 --> 00:16:33,975 What has happened to your face? 362 00:16:33,995 --> 00:16:35,845 I was attacked by ferrets. 363 00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:38,695 Fine, don't tell me. 364 00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:40,759 Who the hell is that crazy woman 365 00:16:40,788 --> 00:16:43,905 who just showed up at my house saying she's carrying your baby? 366 00:16:44,199 --> 00:16:44,847 Uh... 367 00:16:44,867 --> 00:16:46,695 I have a guess. 368 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,016 Alan, please. 369 00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:50,829 Do you know anything about this? 370 00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:53,001 All right, I'm just gonna level with you. 371 00:16:53,038 --> 00:16:56,191 You moved on, so I was trying to do the same thing, 372 00:16:56,228 --> 00:16:57,528 but she's not pregnant. 373 00:16:57,530 --> 00:16:59,296 Then, why in the world would she show up 374 00:16:59,298 --> 00:17:00,915 at my apartment claiming to be? 375 00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:02,291 Apparently she is crazy. 376 00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:04,589 - Told you. - Alan! 377 00:17:04,802 --> 00:17:06,069 Shut up! 378 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,834 All right, look, 379 00:17:11,176 --> 00:17:14,501 as soon as you told me that you wanted to get back together, 380 00:17:14,524 --> 00:17:17,361 I told her she had to move out because I was in love with you. 381 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:18,708 And that's the truth. 382 00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:20,250 I love you, Zoey. 383 00:17:20,252 --> 00:17:22,185 Wait, she was living here? 384 00:17:22,193 --> 00:17:24,768 Did you hear the part where I said I love you? 385 00:17:25,358 --> 00:17:27,991 What happened to "no one's brought their toothbrush"? 386 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:29,473 That... 387 00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:30,332 Alan? 388 00:17:30,347 --> 00:17:31,746 You told me to shut up. 389 00:17:31,775 --> 00:17:33,306 (groans) God. 390 00:17:33,332 --> 00:17:34,965 Good-bye, Walden. 391 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,691 Zoey, wait, you're my stinky cheese! 392 00:17:41,705 --> 00:17:43,075 Great. 393 00:17:43,108 --> 00:17:46,009 Aw, I'm sorry, buddy. 394 00:17:47,043 --> 00:17:49,175 But look at the bright side... 395 00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:51,624 I know, I still have you. 396 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,751 For ever and ever and ever. 397 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,997 Hey, why don't we go out? 398 00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,617 You know, maybe-maybe grab a bite? 399 00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:01,934 That might cheer you up. 400 00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:03,882 - I don't want to go out. - Come on, you have to eat. 401 00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:05,646 You want me to pick something up for you? 402 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:06,747 Fine. 403 00:18:06,749 --> 00:18:08,215 Great, great, uh, oh, so listen, uh... 404 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,088 - Here you go. - Thanks. 405 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,752 Oh, uh, would you mind if I take your car? 406 00:18:11,754 --> 00:18:12,836 - Mine's... - Out of gas. 407 00:18:12,838 --> 00:18:14,371 Sure. 408 00:18:14,373 --> 00:18:16,207 (chuckles) 409 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:17,874 Berta's right. 410 00:18:17,876 --> 00:18:19,709 I am the master. 411 00:18:24,869 --> 00:18:26,369 Oh, boy, 412 00:18:26,395 --> 00:18:28,595 a radio and brakes. 413 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,946 (chuckles) 414 00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:35,656 Oh, yeah. 415 00:18:35,676 --> 00:18:38,484 I could get used to this. (animal cry) 416 00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:41,494 (screams) 417 00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:44,757 Not the face! ♪ Men. ♪ Not the face! 418 00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:49,299 ♪ Men. ♪ 419 00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:54,593 I've made a decision. 420 00:18:54,641 --> 00:18:56,324 What's that? 421 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:59,392 I'm never going to care about another human being. 422 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:01,233 Ouch. 423 00:19:01,588 --> 00:19:04,064 - Except you. - That's better. 424 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,042 I can't believe I lost Zoey again. 425 00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,146 I can't believe I lost the tip of my pinky to a ferret. 426 00:19:10,841 --> 00:19:13,646 Boo-hoo. I have half a nipple. 427 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,704 (groans) All right. 428 00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:18,893 Good night, Alan. 429 00:19:18,937 --> 00:19:21,137 Good night, Walden. 430 00:19:27,425 --> 00:19:29,193 Good night, Rose. 431 00:19:29,224 --> 00:19:31,223 ROSE: Good night, Alan. 432 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:38,923 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by ryangiggsth