1 00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:04,467 ♪ Men. ♪ 2 00:00:05,175 --> 00:00:06,054 I feel like I spent 3 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:09,031 the last half hour yodeling in a cave. 4 00:00:10,251 --> 00:00:12,617 I'm sorry. It wasn't you. 5 00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:14,709 No, it was, it was like licking a lollipop 6 00:00:14,730 --> 00:00:16,362 that never gets any smaller. 7 00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,027 I mean, you enjoy it, 8 00:00:18,048 --> 00:00:20,631 but after a while you start to crave the stick. 9 00:00:20,671 --> 00:00:22,821 Did I at least make you crave the stick? 10 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,179 You did great. I'm just... 11 00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:27,899 a little distracted. 12 00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:29,620 Is everything okay? 13 00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:32,244 Not really. We need to talk. 14 00:00:32,272 --> 00:00:34,814 Come on. I got lockjaw and you want to talk? 15 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:37,268 I want to know where we're going with this relationship. 16 00:00:37,288 --> 00:00:38,601 Do we have any kind of future? 17 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,030 Of course we do. Things are good. 18 00:00:41,095 --> 00:00:43,497 Things are great. Why rock the boat? 19 00:00:43,524 --> 00:00:45,690 I mean, I know the little man inside your boat 20 00:00:45,722 --> 00:00:47,607 could use some rocking. 21 00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:49,281 I'm talking about making 22 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,182 a long-term commitment to each other. 23 00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:52,563 You mean like marriage? 24 00:00:52,582 --> 00:00:53,879 Would that be so awful? 25 00:00:53,903 --> 00:00:55,214 Ask my ex-wife. 26 00:00:55,231 --> 00:00:57,684 Her statement in court read like a Stephen King novel. 27 00:00:57,707 --> 00:00:59,865 Where is this coming from all of a sudden? 28 00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,851 It was something my gynecologist said. 29 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:03,749 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 30 00:01:03,769 --> 00:01:06,092 He said, "Everything looks great down here. 31 00:01:06,123 --> 00:01:08,394 Would you like to have dinner sometime?" 32 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:12,638 Wow. Wow. That is wildly inappropriate. 33 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,024 - I mean, as a doctor myself... - You're a chiropractor. 34 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,827 Nonetheless, I am a healer. 35 00:01:16,905 --> 00:01:18,390 There's a code! 36 00:01:18,415 --> 00:01:19,826 I mean, you don't ask someone out 37 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,963 when they're buck naked with their feet in the stirrups. 38 00:01:21,977 --> 00:01:23,873 Unless you're drunk at a rodeo. 39 00:01:24,506 --> 00:01:25,872 Well, he did. 40 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,887 Do you want to go out with him? 41 00:01:27,903 --> 00:01:29,936 It's not about going out with him. 42 00:01:29,954 --> 00:01:31,857 But if you and I don't have a future, 43 00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:33,682 I need to examine my options. 44 00:01:33,695 --> 00:01:36,666 The way you got examined by Dr. Busyfingers? 45 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:41,047 Look, I don't want to grow old alone. 46 00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:44,130 So, if you're not ready to make this kind of commitment, 47 00:01:44,186 --> 00:01:45,697 better to know now. 48 00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:48,524 Geez, Lyndsey, you kinda sprung this on me. 49 00:01:48,561 --> 00:01:51,488 I mean, I don't have to give you an answer just this second, do I? 50 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,996 No, no, of course not. Just think about it. 51 00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:55,027 Okay. 52 00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:56,171 Good night. 53 00:01:56,187 --> 00:01:57,489 Good night. 54 00:02:03,059 --> 00:02:04,165 And just for the record, 55 00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:05,505 he gets paid to go down there. 56 00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:07,233 I do it for the love of the game. 57 00:02:08,791 --> 00:02:11,780 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 58 00:02:11,809 --> 00:02:14,542 ♪ Ah. ♪ Men. 59 00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:16,676 ♪ Two and a Half Men 10x08 ♪ Something My Gynecologist Said Original Air Date on November 15, 2012 60 00:02:16,691 --> 00:02:18,763 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by ryangiggsth 61 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,055 Hey. 62 00:02:20,146 --> 00:02:22,473 Oh, hey, can I borrow your car? 63 00:02:22,511 --> 00:02:24,950 I need to take my bike into the shop, and it won't fit in mine. 64 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,293 Sure. No problem. 65 00:02:26,334 --> 00:02:27,218 Thanks. 66 00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:28,955 I assume it needs gas? 67 00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:31,066 And oil. 68 00:02:31,096 --> 00:02:33,213 And brake fluid. 69 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,592 And wiper blades. 70 00:02:36,178 --> 00:02:37,990 So, uh, what are you reading? 71 00:02:38,018 --> 00:02:39,477 I'm trying to finish Ulysses. 72 00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:40,694 Oh, that's a tough one. 73 00:02:40,722 --> 00:02:41,790 How long have you been reading it? 74 00:02:41,792 --> 00:02:44,049 14 years. 75 00:02:44,268 --> 00:02:46,501 I'm on page eight. 76 00:02:47,198 --> 00:02:48,302 Impressive. 77 00:02:48,312 --> 00:02:50,940 I'm still on the first Tuesday with Morrie. 78 00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,115 He dies in the end. 79 00:02:53,277 --> 00:02:54,899 Thank you. 80 00:02:54,935 --> 00:02:57,634 So, listen, I want to ask your opinion about something. 81 00:02:57,672 --> 00:02:59,648 Lyndsey has been pushing me to make a commitment 82 00:02:59,673 --> 00:03:01,640 'cause some other guy asked her out. 83 00:03:01,663 --> 00:03:04,514 - Who asked her out? - Her gynecologist. 84 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,536 Well, at least he knows what he's getting into. 85 00:03:11,186 --> 00:03:14,538 Cute. I mean, don't want to lose Lyndsey, 86 00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:16,727 but I'm just not ready to make a commitment. 87 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:19,200 Well, my advice is you better do something soon, 88 00:03:19,223 --> 00:03:21,169 or you're out and the doctor's in. 89 00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:23,474 And when I say, "The doctor's in," I mean... 90 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,628 No, I got it, I got it. 91 00:03:25,668 --> 00:03:27,157 All right, I got to get out of here. 92 00:03:27,191 --> 00:03:28,690 Oh, here you go. 93 00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:31,262 Oh, uh, the driver's side door doesn't work anymore, 94 00:03:31,289 --> 00:03:32,775 so either get in the passenger side 95 00:03:32,815 --> 00:03:34,890 or climb in through the window. 96 00:03:35,253 --> 00:03:36,310 Got it. 97 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,355 Oh, and whatever you do, when you put the key in the ignition, 98 00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:40,796 make sure you're holding something rubber. 99 00:03:40,995 --> 00:03:43,833 You know, so you're grounded. 100 00:03:43,885 --> 00:03:45,780 Does Lyndsey have a nice car? 101 00:03:45,813 --> 00:03:47,825 - Yeah. - Marry her. 102 00:03:47,842 --> 00:03:49,809 ♪ Men. ♪ 103 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,641 (over radio): ♪ And he's holding her in his arms ♪ 104 00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:53,495 ♪ Late, late at night ♪ 105 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:57,318 ♪ You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪ 106 00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:00,835 ♪ I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪ 107 00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:06,315 ♪ Where can I find a woman like that? ♪ 108 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:11,316 (engine knocking) 109 00:04:17,127 --> 00:04:19,063 (engine stops) 110 00:04:19,277 --> 00:04:21,512 Alan! 111 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,106 Ow! 112 00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:28,263 (radiator hissing) 113 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,942 Everything okay? 114 00:04:36,991 --> 00:04:39,858 Oh, yeah. I think it just overheated. 115 00:04:40,042 --> 00:04:41,875 Can I give you a ride to a gas station? 116 00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:44,788 Gee, I don't know. My mom always told me 117 00:04:44,823 --> 00:04:47,444 never to get in a car with a stranger. 118 00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:50,978 I'm Shari McMartin. 119 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,110 Solves that problem. 120 00:04:53,245 --> 00:04:54,693 ♪ Men. ♪ 121 00:04:55,179 --> 00:04:57,559 Thank you. I really appreciate it. 122 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,347 Oh, no problem. 123 00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:01,848 So your old Volvo's seen better days, huh? 124 00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:04,545 Yeah, it's actually, it's not mine. 125 00:05:04,584 --> 00:05:07,147 I borrowed it from a friend to get my bike fixed. 126 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:08,813 You ride a bike around town. 127 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,342 You must have amazing stamina. 128 00:05:12,498 --> 00:05:14,766 Well, it's not the only way that I get around. 129 00:05:14,791 --> 00:05:16,810 Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed about. 130 00:05:16,829 --> 00:05:18,562 With the price of gas being what it is, 131 00:05:18,578 --> 00:05:20,878 a bicycle is very practical. 132 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,833 I'm-I'm not ashamed. 133 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,872 Trust me, there will come a day when you won't have 134 00:05:25,887 --> 00:05:28,264 to worry about having enough money for gas. 135 00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:30,450 Okay. 136 00:05:31,394 --> 00:05:33,645 I look forward to that day. 137 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,825 So what's your name? 138 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:37,963 Walden. 139 00:05:37,988 --> 00:05:39,664 That's a nice name. 140 00:05:39,693 --> 00:05:41,237 What are you doing in Los Angeles, Walden? 141 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:45,319 You trying to be an actor or a model or something? 142 00:05:48,336 --> 00:05:52,530 Right now I'm trying to finish a book. 143 00:05:52,554 --> 00:05:54,921 Oh. How long have you been at it? 144 00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:56,810 14 years. 145 00:05:57,033 --> 00:05:59,179 Oh, a struggling writer. 146 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,309 Yes. Yes, I am. 147 00:06:03,465 --> 00:06:06,947 Well, you are in luck. I happen to be a big supporter of the arts. 148 00:06:07,187 --> 00:06:09,847 Oh, really? How fortuitous. 149 00:06:10,007 --> 00:06:11,505 Ooh, "fortuitous." 150 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,387 You are a writer. 151 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,163 Listen, what do you say we go grab a bite to eat, 152 00:06:16,182 --> 00:06:18,161 get the car fixed later? 153 00:06:18,402 --> 00:06:21,553 Sure. There's a really great deli right up here. 154 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,267 Well, actually, I have a better place in mind. 155 00:06:24,303 --> 00:06:26,287 - Where's that? - My house. 156 00:06:26,337 --> 00:06:29,524 Oh. What's on the menu there? 157 00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:33,410 Oh. 158 00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,372 Yum. 159 00:06:37,827 --> 00:06:39,750 ♪ Men. ♪ 160 00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:41,648 Hi. 161 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:42,813 Hi. 162 00:06:42,855 --> 00:06:44,674 Whatcha doing? 163 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,039 Nothing much. 164 00:06:46,062 --> 00:06:47,966 How about we go out to a movie? 165 00:06:47,987 --> 00:06:49,293 Sure, we could do that. 166 00:06:49,313 --> 00:06:52,076 Great, great. I will check some times. 167 00:06:52,248 --> 00:06:54,048 Alan. Yeah? 168 00:06:54,094 --> 00:06:56,462 Did you think about what we discussed last night? 169 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,759 Oh, yes, oh, yes. 170 00:06:57,773 --> 00:06:59,806 Thinking about it constantly. 171 00:06:59,828 --> 00:07:01,795 Anything you want to talk about? 172 00:07:01,817 --> 00:07:03,461 Not yet. 173 00:07:03,617 --> 00:07:05,711 Still thinking. You know... 174 00:07:05,731 --> 00:07:07,990 percolating, uh, mulling. 175 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,342 All the pertinent "ings." 176 00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:12,354 Ooh!... 177 00:07:12,384 --> 00:07:14,451 Cogitating! 178 00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,913 Stalling, avoiding, ducking. 179 00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:18,786 Ooh! Procrastinating. 180 00:07:18,819 --> 00:07:21,458 What? No. That's-that's crazy. 181 00:07:21,479 --> 00:07:23,345 I'm not doing any of those things. 182 00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:25,113 I mean, why would I do those things? 183 00:07:25,132 --> 00:07:27,135 So what movie would you like to see? 184 00:07:27,334 --> 00:07:28,830 I know what you're doing. 185 00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,409 This is not gonna go away. 186 00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:31,480 I just don't understand 187 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,322 why we can't keep things the way they are. 188 00:07:33,336 --> 00:07:34,900 You mean, living day-to-day, 189 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:37,022 never knowing what kind of future you have with the person 190 00:07:37,045 --> 00:07:39,379 you've been in a relationship with the past three years? 191 00:07:39,404 --> 00:07:42,593 I prefer to think of it as cherishing each day, 192 00:07:42,619 --> 00:07:45,677 nay each moment, with the woman I love 193 00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:48,335 because none of us knows how much time we have left. 194 00:07:48,356 --> 00:07:51,958 I mean, it could all disappear in the blink of an eye. 195 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:54,089 You mean like this? 196 00:07:56,295 --> 00:07:57,850 Exactly. 197 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,362 ♪ Men. ♪ 198 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,381 Well, it would appear that a bicycle's 199 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,776 not the only thing you can ride. 200 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:08,531 I'm also good with bulls and merry-go-rounds. 201 00:08:08,982 --> 00:08:11,410 So, did you enjoy your lunch? 202 00:08:11,522 --> 00:08:13,095 Oh, yeah. 203 00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:15,419 I would definitely eat here again. 204 00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,350 Mm, mm. 205 00:08:21,479 --> 00:08:23,797 Do you mind taking a taxi home? 206 00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,533 Uh, sure, no problem. 207 00:08:27,563 --> 00:08:30,427 I'd drive you, I just have some things to do. 208 00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:32,746 Okay. 209 00:08:32,798 --> 00:08:35,632 So... then we're done here? 210 00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:38,197 I am. 211 00:08:39,455 --> 00:08:41,203 Okay. 212 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,834 You know, uh, we should do this again. 213 00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:49,075 Oh, we will. I'll let you know when. 214 00:08:50,518 --> 00:08:51,769 All righty. 215 00:08:51,796 --> 00:08:53,726 Oh, here. 216 00:08:55,956 --> 00:08:57,357 What's this? 217 00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:58,889 It's money for a taxi. 218 00:08:58,905 --> 00:08:59,943 I don't need that. 219 00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:02,835 Sweetie, don't be proud. Take the money. 220 00:09:05,742 --> 00:09:07,876 Okay, great. 221 00:09:09,159 --> 00:09:10,359 Thank you. 222 00:09:10,502 --> 00:09:12,135 ♪ Men. ♪ 223 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,221 ♪ Men. ♪ 224 00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:17,592 (TV playing) 225 00:09:17,779 --> 00:09:18,783 Hey, hey! 226 00:09:18,829 --> 00:09:21,245 (turns off TV) Hey. Where've you been? 227 00:09:22,088 --> 00:09:25,171 I got some good news and I got some bad news for ya. 228 00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,559 What's the bad news? 229 00:09:26,604 --> 00:09:28,615 Your car overheated and broke down. 230 00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:31,716 Ah, I should have told you not to turn on the radio. 231 00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:35,392 So, uh, what's the good news? 232 00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:37,321 This beautiful woman pulls up 233 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:39,702 in a Bentley and offers me help, 234 00:09:39,716 --> 00:09:41,415 and then she takes me back to her house 235 00:09:41,441 --> 00:09:43,772 and bangs my brains out. 236 00:09:43,908 --> 00:09:45,785 How is that good news for me? 237 00:09:45,815 --> 00:09:47,080 Oh, sorry, I misspoke. 238 00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:50,099 The bad news was for you, the good news was for me. 239 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,420 Do you have any idea how many times 240 00:09:51,449 --> 00:09:53,836 I've been stranded by the side of the road 'cause of that car? 241 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,500 The only person who's ever stopped was a truck driver 242 00:09:55,527 --> 00:09:57,894 with no pants and drawn-on eyebrows. 243 00:09:57,993 --> 00:09:59,798 She also gave me money for a taxi. 244 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,569 - I hate you! - I know, right?! 245 00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:03,994 How was your day? 246 00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:06,360 I'm pretty sure Lyndsey and I broke up. 247 00:10:06,627 --> 00:10:09,591 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 248 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,945 I really liked Lyndsey. I thought she was great. 249 00:10:11,970 --> 00:10:14,461 Yeah, well, she is great, but I'm not gonna be bullied 250 00:10:14,498 --> 00:10:17,266 into spending the rest of my life with somebody just 'cause they're great. 251 00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:20,575 Who would? It's like being forced to win the lotto. 252 00:10:21,816 --> 00:10:23,761 Wait a minute. If you took a cab home, 253 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,751 where's my car? 254 00:10:26,858 --> 00:10:28,492 Huh. 255 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,335 Here's a hundred bucks. Buy a better car. 256 00:10:35,695 --> 00:10:37,662 ♪ Men. ♪ 257 00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:39,655 So, you ready for round two? 258 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,031 Oh, right now? 259 00:10:42,313 --> 00:10:46,387 Could we just talk a little while 260 00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:49,964 the boys, you know, restock the shelves? 261 00:10:50,512 --> 00:10:53,076 Yeah, sure, let's talk. 262 00:10:53,165 --> 00:10:57,516 Um, how are things going with your book? 263 00:10:57,663 --> 00:11:00,020 How's... with the what? 264 00:11:00,207 --> 00:11:01,379 Your book. 265 00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,107 The one you're trying to finish? 266 00:11:03,143 --> 00:11:05,177 Oh, my... the book. 267 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:07,678 Good. 268 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,401 It's good. 269 00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:11,685 It's going good. 270 00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,741 Writing words. 271 00:11:15,503 --> 00:11:17,670 Making sentences. 272 00:11:18,321 --> 00:11:19,799 What's it about? 273 00:11:19,849 --> 00:11:22,676 Okay, um... yeah. It's about this, uh... 274 00:11:22,735 --> 00:11:26,571 guy named Alan. 275 00:11:26,837 --> 00:11:28,937 Mm-hmm. 276 00:11:28,996 --> 00:11:31,297 He... and he lives with his brother 277 00:11:31,362 --> 00:11:35,964 in this, uh, fabulous Malibu beach house. 278 00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,716 And? 279 00:11:39,639 --> 00:11:43,410 And... the brother dies. 280 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:47,231 He falls in front of a train in Paris. 281 00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:49,738 Wow. Didn't see that coming. 282 00:11:51,499 --> 00:11:53,667 Neither did he. 283 00:11:57,102 --> 00:12:01,704 Anyway, this, uh, this billionaire named Wal... ter... 284 00:12:02,715 --> 00:12:06,349 comes along and he buys the house, 285 00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:10,016 and then, and Alan continues to live there. 286 00:12:10,066 --> 00:12:12,273 Wait. With a complete stranger? 287 00:12:12,321 --> 00:12:13,817 Yeah. 288 00:12:14,405 --> 00:12:16,071 Are they gay? 289 00:12:16,122 --> 00:12:18,322 No. No, no. 290 00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:21,128 No, they're just... they're just friends. 291 00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:23,511 That's a bit far-fetched, isn't it? 292 00:12:23,550 --> 00:12:25,595 What? No. 293 00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,907 That's totally plausible. 294 00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:32,261 They have these... adventures together. 295 00:12:34,025 --> 00:12:36,059 It's funny. 296 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,711 It's a good thing you're pretty. 297 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:46,160 ♪ Men. ♪ 298 00:12:48,161 --> 00:12:49,361 Hey. 299 00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:51,965 Whoa. 300 00:12:53,766 --> 00:12:56,219 Look at you. Bought some new clothes, huh? 301 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,748 Nope. 302 00:12:57,823 --> 00:13:00,153 Somebody bought new clothes for me. 303 00:13:00,991 --> 00:13:04,473 Shari took her boy toy shopping in Beverly Hills. 304 00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:07,779 I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. 305 00:13:10,309 --> 00:13:12,444 The only thing I got from the truck driver 306 00:13:12,471 --> 00:13:15,161 was a pack of cigarettes and an eyebrow pencil. 307 00:13:15,516 --> 00:13:17,082 Yeah, I gotta tell you, 308 00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:19,811 it is nice to be taken care of for a change. Well... 309 00:13:19,861 --> 00:13:22,330 Look who I'm talkin' to. 310 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,581 All right, I'm gonna go do some manscaping. 311 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,326 Mama like me smooth. 312 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,341 (Skype rings) 313 00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:31,802 Oh, hey, buddy. 314 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,273 Hey, Dad. Well, this is a nice surprise. 315 00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:35,597 What's going on? 316 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:37,679 Well, I heard from Eldridge that you and his mom broke up, 317 00:13:37,695 --> 00:13:39,443 so I'm just checking in to see how you're doing. 318 00:13:39,479 --> 00:13:41,376 That is really sweet of you, Jake, 319 00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:42,971 to be concerned about your old man. 320 00:13:42,985 --> 00:13:45,657 Well, I love you, Dad. I want you to be happy. 321 00:13:45,681 --> 00:13:47,084 Thank you. 322 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:48,521 And, you know, you've always been there for me. 323 00:13:48,547 --> 00:13:50,280 Now I get to be here for you. 324 00:13:50,306 --> 00:13:52,152 That's true. 325 00:13:52,173 --> 00:13:54,943 - Speaking of which... - How much? 326 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:57,140 A couple hundred bucks would make it a Merry Christmas 327 00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:58,699 for all the people I love. 328 00:13:58,746 --> 00:14:00,448 All right, Jake, I'll take care of it. 329 00:14:00,462 --> 00:14:02,571 Oh, thank you, Dad. Love you, bye. 330 00:14:02,614 --> 00:14:03,764 Bye. 331 00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:07,300 Totally worked! We're going to Tijuana! 332 00:14:11,488 --> 00:14:14,684 Totally worked. He thinks I'm sending him money. 333 00:14:14,977 --> 00:14:16,823 ♪ Men. ♪ 334 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,594 Um. Excuse me. Is this seat taken? 335 00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:22,020 Sit. 336 00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:23,446 But if a lady comes along, 337 00:14:23,509 --> 00:14:26,860 I'm gonna have to ask you to vacate. 338 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:28,895 Right back atcha. 339 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:31,276 I'm not worried. 340 00:14:34,325 --> 00:14:35,525 Sid Olsen. 341 00:14:35,549 --> 00:14:37,430 Oh. Nice to meet you. 342 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,959 Uh, Alan Harper. 343 00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:41,763 So, Alvin, you play the ponies? 344 00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:44,195 Uh, I'm not much of a gambler. 345 00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:47,362 I don't know, that shirt's kind of a gamble. 346 00:14:49,375 --> 00:14:50,309 So, uh... 347 00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:52,518 what brings you in here, Sid? 348 00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:55,550 Besides dispensing fashion advice? 349 00:14:55,722 --> 00:14:57,515 I like to get out, make the rounds, 350 00:14:57,538 --> 00:15:00,114 you know, talk to the young people. 351 00:15:00,211 --> 00:15:03,206 But I'll talk to you until one comes along. 352 00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,469 Whether I like it or not. 353 00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:09,004 Oh, I got some more advice for you, Albert. 354 00:15:09,046 --> 00:15:10,679 When you get to be my age, 355 00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:13,723 always bring a big plastic cup into the john. 356 00:15:13,855 --> 00:15:14,691 Why? 357 00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:16,266 You gotta lower the water level 358 00:15:16,308 --> 00:15:18,311 or your nuts get wet. 359 00:15:18,736 --> 00:15:20,502 Oh, excuse me, darlin', darlin'. 360 00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:22,358 Could we have some more wings, please? 361 00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:23,836 I'll have a beer, please. 362 00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:25,939 You know, it's all-you-can-eat for $6.99. 363 00:15:25,961 --> 00:15:27,414 It's also dollar beers. 364 00:15:27,445 --> 00:15:28,692 Yeah, I don't drink beer. 365 00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:30,972 It gives me the wind. 366 00:15:32,296 --> 00:15:34,334 What's your problem, Alfred? 367 00:15:34,356 --> 00:15:35,796 I don't have a problem. 368 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:36,896 Oh, come on. 369 00:15:36,925 --> 00:15:38,817 You're in a bar at 4:00 in the afternoon 370 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,694 talking to an 80-year-old man about his balls. 371 00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:44,770 You got a problem. 372 00:15:46,393 --> 00:15:47,412 Fine. 373 00:15:47,438 --> 00:15:50,208 I-I guess, uh, I've been having relationship issues. 374 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,319 Ah, I get it. 375 00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:53,187 I'm having trouble with my wife. 376 00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:54,423 What's the matter? 377 00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,185 She's dead. 378 00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,099 Oh. Oh, I'm-I'm sorry. 379 00:15:58,137 --> 00:15:59,690 Ah, so am I. 380 00:15:59,719 --> 00:16:01,185 If she were still alive, 381 00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:03,047 I wouldn't have to be talking to you. 382 00:16:03,084 --> 00:16:05,985 Now we both wish she was alive. 383 00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,644 Zing. 384 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,078 Our marriage was the best 30 years of my life. 385 00:16:14,151 --> 00:16:17,048 My only complaint was that she couldn't cook. 386 00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:19,257 The woman could screw up iced tea. 387 00:16:19,287 --> 00:16:21,554 I mean, you know the recipe for iced tea? 388 00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:23,437 It's ice. Tea. 389 00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:25,300 Done. 390 00:16:26,955 --> 00:16:29,991 Well, I guess you have to take the good with the bad. 391 00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:32,523 You're smarter than you look. 392 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:36,270 You got a good one, you gotta hang onto her. 393 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,790 Yeah, but how do you know you've got a good one? 394 00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:40,478 Well, you don't always know. 395 00:16:40,526 --> 00:16:43,061 Sometimes you just gotta take the leap. 396 00:16:44,945 --> 00:16:47,146 Ah, here we go. Thank you. 397 00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:49,343 Thank you very much. 398 00:16:51,715 --> 00:16:54,217 These are for my cat. 399 00:16:57,439 --> 00:16:59,882 I don't have a cat. 400 00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:06,961 Well, it was great talking to you, Archie. 401 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,663 Alan. 402 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,375 Sid. 403 00:17:13,028 --> 00:17:14,950 Here's my card. 404 00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,725 Oh. Thanks. 405 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,453 I'll call you if I need a wingman. 406 00:17:20,742 --> 00:17:21,909 Get it? 407 00:17:21,956 --> 00:17:23,555 "Wingman." 408 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,300 The-the chicken? 409 00:17:25,405 --> 00:17:28,047 Leave the jokes to me, Chuckles. 410 00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:32,193 Aw, geez. I forgot my wallet. 411 00:17:32,239 --> 00:17:34,437 Don't worry. I've got it. 412 00:17:34,549 --> 00:17:36,809 Thank you. Much appreciated. 413 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,626 Works every time. 414 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:44,967 ♪ Men. ♪ 415 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,667 (doorbell rings) 416 00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,940 - Alan? - We need to talk. 417 00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:54,098 Oh, really? Now you want to talk. 418 00:17:54,158 --> 00:17:56,462 I don't know, you just kind of sprung this on me. 419 00:17:56,498 --> 00:17:58,113 Okay, I deserved that. 420 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:00,111 But just listen, please. 421 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,528 Go ahead. 422 00:18:01,556 --> 00:18:05,024 I've just come to the realization that... 423 00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:08,449 I don't want to end up alone with my nuts in the toilet. 424 00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:09,595 What? 425 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,921 All I know is this. 426 00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:13,812 I was scared because 427 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:16,445 every time I've made a commitment to a woman, 428 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,677 it's blown up in my face. 429 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,788 But I'd rather be scared 430 00:18:21,828 --> 00:18:24,779 than risk losing you. 431 00:18:25,093 --> 00:18:27,615 I-I want to be with you forever. 432 00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:31,258 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 433 00:18:31,304 --> 00:18:32,940 I-I love you, Lyndsey. 434 00:18:32,982 --> 00:18:35,883 And as soon as I can save enough money, 435 00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:39,618 I'm gonna put a deposit down on an engagement ring. 436 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:43,063 You don't have to buy me some dumb ring. 437 00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:46,226 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 438 00:18:46,581 --> 00:18:48,680 ♪ Men. ♪ 439 00:18:48,731 --> 00:18:50,731 (doorbell rings) 440 00:18:56,081 --> 00:18:57,281 Yeah? 441 00:18:57,335 --> 00:18:59,769 Is your mom here? 442 00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:01,657 My mom? 443 00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:05,690 Walden, what are you doing here? 444 00:19:05,722 --> 00:19:07,503 Well, I just wanted to surprise you. 445 00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:09,986 Oh, that's very sweet. 446 00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:12,230 Baby, go put these in water. 447 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:13,980 Yeah. 448 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,298 Honey, you really have to call before you come over. 449 00:19:18,549 --> 00:19:21,097 What's up with the kid from Twilight? 450 00:19:21,483 --> 00:19:24,852 Oh, uh, he works at Foot Locker. 451 00:19:25,151 --> 00:19:26,483 You know, he's like you, 452 00:19:26,497 --> 00:19:28,380 he just has a little more ambition. 453 00:19:28,405 --> 00:19:30,505 (laughing): Ambition? 454 00:19:30,532 --> 00:19:31,689 You're kidding me. 455 00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:33,496 Oh, no, don't take that the wrong way. 456 00:19:33,546 --> 00:19:36,300 I mean, you are very good at what you can do. 457 00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:38,016 Okay. 458 00:19:38,358 --> 00:19:40,169 I'm a billionaire. 459 00:19:40,207 --> 00:19:41,773 I own my own company. 460 00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:43,772 Oh. There's that imagination. 461 00:19:43,811 --> 00:19:46,514 Hey, that's what you should be writing about. 462 00:19:46,538 --> 00:19:48,286 I'll call you, okay? 463 00:19:48,366 --> 00:19:51,661 I own my own freakin' jet! 464 00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:57,770 That's it. I'm going to buy Foot Locker. 465 00:20:11,658 --> 00:20:14,260 Thank you for inviting me over, Alfonso. 466 00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:16,938 No problem. 467 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:18,903 You, too, Winston. 468 00:20:18,953 --> 00:20:21,048 Any time, Sid. 469 00:20:21,112 --> 00:20:23,909 Look, I don't want to tar anybody else's roof, 470 00:20:23,962 --> 00:20:27,146 but either one of you tappin' the hot redhead? 471 00:20:27,502 --> 00:20:29,169 No. No. 472 00:20:29,785 --> 00:20:32,062 Mind if I take a swing at her? 473 00:20:32,114 --> 00:20:33,614 Go right ahead. 474 00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:35,565 Yeah, she might swing back. 475 00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,629 Good. I like 'em feisty. 476 00:20:44,468 --> 00:20:46,922 This may take a minute. 477 00:20:48,485 --> 00:20:51,018 Is your friend pool that shallow? 478 00:20:54,362 --> 00:20:57,433 Hey, Red. You like chicken wings? 479 00:21:00,716 --> 00:21:05,716 == sync, corrected by elderman == Resync for WEB-DL by ryangiggsth