1
00:00:04,924 --> 00:00:06,891
Oh. Hey.
Hey.
2
00:00:06,893 --> 00:00:08,560
I thought you and Alan
were going out to dinner.
3
00:00:08,562 --> 00:00:10,361
We were supposed to,
but then he discovered
4
00:00:10,363 --> 00:00:12,430
his coupon was only good
for to-go orders.
5
00:00:12,432 --> 00:00:14,799
That guy's a piece of work.
6
00:00:14,801 --> 00:00:15,767
He is.
7
00:00:15,769 --> 00:00:16,968
Which is ironic,
8
00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:19,354
'cause he never seems
to go to work. (laughs)
9
00:00:19,356 --> 00:00:21,573
That's true.
10
00:00:21,575 --> 00:00:22,440
That being said,
11
00:00:22,442 --> 00:00:23,975
I do envy what
you guys have.
12
00:00:23,977 --> 00:00:26,277
You guys are like termites.
13
00:00:26,279 --> 00:00:28,413
Termites?
14
00:00:28,415 --> 00:00:30,314
Yeah, they mate for life,
and once they live
15
00:00:30,316 --> 00:00:31,916
in your house,
you can never get rid of 'em.
16
00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:33,117
(chuckles)
17
00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:36,037
(voice breaking)
Just like Alan.
18
00:00:36,039 --> 00:00:37,372
You all right?
19
00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:39,674
Yeah, I...
20
00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:41,342
I have to do something
with him tonight
21
00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:42,794
that's going to be
really painful.
22
00:00:42,796 --> 00:00:45,430
Okay, that's between
two consenting adults.
23
00:00:45,432 --> 00:00:47,465
No...
24
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:49,000
(sighs)
25
00:00:49,002 --> 00:00:50,552
I'm breaking up
with him.
26
00:00:50,554 --> 00:00:52,336
What?
27
00:00:53,439 --> 00:00:55,890
No, but you guys are great
together.
28
00:00:55,892 --> 00:00:58,643
You're so beautiful
29
00:00:58,645 --> 00:01:00,945
and smart and fun and...
30
00:01:00,947 --> 00:01:03,231
Alan's so...
31
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:04,515
lucky.
32
00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:07,819
I don't want
to hurt him.
33
00:01:07,821 --> 00:01:10,038
Then do something else.
34
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,189
Disneyland, dancing, bowling,
35
00:01:12,191 --> 00:01:14,075
pretty much anything
but break up with him.
36
00:01:14,077 --> 00:01:15,493
I have to.
37
00:01:15,495 --> 00:01:17,412
But you and I are his world.
38
00:01:17,414 --> 00:01:19,380
And if you leave,
I'll be his world.
39
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:20,715
I'm sorry.
40
00:01:20,717 --> 00:01:22,216
No, I don't think
you heard me.
41
00:01:22,218 --> 00:01:24,385
I'll. Be. His. World.
42
00:01:24,387 --> 00:01:27,255
(crying)
I feel so bad.
43
00:01:27,257 --> 00:01:28,306
(sobbing)
44
00:01:28,308 --> 00:01:30,041
All right.
45
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:31,209
Come here.
46
00:01:33,178 --> 00:01:36,314
This is the hardest thing
I've ever had to do.
47
00:01:36,316 --> 00:01:38,983
And I pushed a baby
out of my vagina.
48
00:01:38,985 --> 00:01:40,151
(sobbing)
49
00:01:40,153 --> 00:01:42,020
ALAN:
I'm back!
50
00:01:42,022 --> 00:01:43,071
(gasps, sniffs)
51
00:01:43,073 --> 00:01:45,056
Don't say anything.
52
00:01:45,058 --> 00:01:47,442
Oh. Hey, Walden.
Want to join us?
53
00:01:47,444 --> 00:01:50,361
Uh... no, thanks.
54
00:01:50,363 --> 00:01:53,031
Hey, what do you say
we all go bowling?
55
00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:54,732
Huh?
56
00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:56,167
Doesn't that sound fun?
57
00:01:56,169 --> 00:01:57,702
Just bowling?
58
00:01:57,704 --> 00:02:00,571
No, I... I think we're
just gonna stay in tonight.
59
00:02:00,573 --> 00:02:02,573
Uh... oh, but I have
a confession to make.
60
00:02:02,575 --> 00:02:05,076
I, uh, opened my fortune
cookie in the car...
61
00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:06,427
and listen to this:
62
00:02:06,429 --> 00:02:09,547
uh... "your life is about to
take a turn for the better."
63
00:02:13,886 --> 00:02:17,355
I think you may have gotten
Lyndsey's cookie.
64
00:02:18,974 --> 00:02:21,893
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
65
00:02:21,895 --> 00:02:25,029
♪ Men, men, men, manly men, men ♪
♪ Ooh
66
00:02:25,031 --> 00:02:28,265
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men ♪
♪ Ooh
67
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:30,401
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh... ♪
68
00:02:30,403 --> 00:02:32,870
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
69
00:02:32,872 --> 00:02:36,658
♪ Ooh
♪ Men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪
70
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:40,795
10x21
Another Night With Neil Diamond
71
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:44,820
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEBDL by lost0ne
www.addic7ed.com
72
00:02:46,727 --> 00:02:48,160
Would you like another
glass of wi...?
73
00:02:48,162 --> 00:02:49,328
Yes.
74
00:02:57,204 --> 00:02:58,704
Oh, you know,
I was thinking, uh...
75
00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:01,107
after dinner we could
light a fire.
76
00:03:01,109 --> 00:03:03,209
Don't worry, I've got all
the wood we'll need.
77
00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:12,718
Cute.
78
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,454
Just, uh... you seem
awfully quiet tonight.
79
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:16,489
Is everything okay?
80
00:03:16,491 --> 00:03:18,858
I-I've just got
a lot on my mind.
81
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,860
Hmm, what is it,
sweetie?
82
00:03:20,862 --> 00:03:22,862
Oh, boy.
83
00:03:22,864 --> 00:03:24,096
I don't know
how to say this.
84
00:03:24,098 --> 00:03:26,932
Well, a problem shared is
a problem halved.
85
00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:29,068
It's kind of like
that fried rice,
86
00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,770
although I noticed
you didn't touch your half,
87
00:03:30,772 --> 00:03:32,838
despite the fact
that you had to order it,
88
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,307
even though
the white rice is free
89
00:03:34,309 --> 00:03:37,410
and the coupon specifically
said "no substitutions."
90
00:03:37,412 --> 00:03:39,712
I think we should break up.
91
00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:42,448
Excuse me.
92
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,688
Are you okay?
93
00:04:06,006 --> 00:04:08,207
You owe me $22.50 for dinner.
94
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:11,994
Hey, Berta.
95
00:04:11,996 --> 00:04:14,213
Just finishing up.
Then I'll get out of your way.
96
00:04:14,215 --> 00:04:15,931
No, I think
you should stay here.
97
00:04:15,933 --> 00:04:17,383
All right.
98
00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:19,518
Let me take
a quick shower first.
99
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,387
No.
100
00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:23,689
Lyndsey's downstairs
breaking up with Alan.
101
00:04:23,691 --> 00:04:24,807
Really?
102
00:04:24,809 --> 00:04:25,858
Yeah.
103
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:29,145
Well... we knew this was coming.
104
00:04:29,147 --> 00:04:30,896
First time I saw them together,
105
00:04:30,898 --> 00:04:32,231
I asked her to blink twice
106
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:34,183
if she was being held hostage.
107
00:04:34,185 --> 00:04:36,619
He's gonna be devastated.
108
00:04:37,871 --> 00:04:39,205
I mean, he's madly
in love with her,
109
00:04:39,207 --> 00:04:40,206
they've been dating for years,
110
00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:41,574
they were planning
on getting married.
111
00:04:41,576 --> 00:04:44,326
Oh, my God,
he's never gonna leave my house.
112
00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:48,214
It's sweet that you actually
thought he was going to.
113
00:04:48,216 --> 00:04:50,066
Why do people have to break up?
114
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:51,801
Well, in my experience,
115
00:04:51,803 --> 00:04:53,502
either the magic wears off,
116
00:04:53,504 --> 00:04:55,004
or the mushrooms.
117
00:04:57,474 --> 00:04:58,974
I feel really bad for him.
118
00:04:58,976 --> 00:05:00,593
I mean,
I always feel bad for him.
119
00:05:00,595 --> 00:05:02,762
But I feel really bad for him.
120
00:05:02,764 --> 00:05:04,180
Yeah, yeah. It's tough.
121
00:05:04,182 --> 00:05:06,882
We gonna do this thing
or what?
122
00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:13,439
I don't understand.
Where is this coming from?
123
00:05:13,441 --> 00:05:15,324
There's no spark anymore.
124
00:05:15,326 --> 00:05:17,159
All we do is sit around,
watch TV and eat takeout
125
00:05:17,161 --> 00:05:19,111
from whatever restaurant
you have a coupon for.
126
00:05:19,113 --> 00:05:20,579
Did you want to go
to the food court?
127
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:21,614
'Cause we can do that.
128
00:05:21,616 --> 00:05:24,033
Alan, it's not that.
129
00:05:24,035 --> 00:05:25,251
Then, what is it?
130
00:05:25,253 --> 00:05:26,786
I mean, I-I...
I thought you were happy.
131
00:05:26,788 --> 00:05:28,003
I-I thought
everything was great.
132
00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:30,572
It was, but, but things
change, people change.
133
00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:32,425
That's not true.
I don't change. I never change.
134
00:05:32,427 --> 00:05:35,010
Maybe that's part
of the problem.
135
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:36,578
I can change.
136
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,214
I-I know this is upsetting,
137
00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:40,916
but, but better to do this
now before it gets worse.
138
00:05:40,918 --> 00:05:42,268
How can it be worse?
139
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:43,769
You gonna tell me you've been
faking it all these years?
140
00:05:43,771 --> 00:05:44,887
Don't answer that.
141
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,690
Alan, I have to go.
142
00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:48,641
Fine, go.
143
00:05:48,643 --> 00:05:50,943
Don't go.
144
00:05:50,945 --> 00:05:53,062
I-I'm really sorry.
145
00:05:53,064 --> 00:05:55,815
The thing is, I-I
still love you, Alan.
146
00:05:57,234 --> 00:05:59,601
I'm just not in love
with you anymore.
147
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,075
It's not a deal-breaker.
148
00:06:09,296 --> 00:06:11,113
You okay?
149
00:06:11,115 --> 00:06:13,115
I guess.
150
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:15,384
I suppose it's better that
she broke up with me now
151
00:06:15,386 --> 00:06:17,419
than after we got married.
152
00:06:17,421 --> 00:06:20,673
Then she would've gotten
half of all my stuff.
153
00:06:25,912 --> 00:06:28,013
Sure.
154
00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:32,634
You know I'm
here for you.
155
00:06:32,636 --> 00:06:35,604
I know that and,
and I appreciate it.
156
00:06:35,606 --> 00:06:37,740
But... I'm good.
157
00:06:37,742 --> 00:06:38,941
Good.
158
00:06:40,894 --> 00:06:42,545
Walden?
159
00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,746
Yeah?
160
00:06:44,531 --> 00:06:46,481
(sobbing)
I'm not good.
161
00:06:46,483 --> 00:06:48,784
I love her.
162
00:06:48,786 --> 00:06:50,152
(sobbing)
163
00:06:50,154 --> 00:06:51,287
I know you do.
164
00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:53,622
I'll never find another one
like her.
165
00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:55,758
I know you won't.
166
00:06:58,295 --> 00:07:01,046
I-I'm just saying, I-I
know how great she is.
167
00:07:01,048 --> 00:07:02,431
(grunts)
You're gonna be fine.
168
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:05,000
Just... you have to focus on
the good things in your life.
169
00:07:05,002 --> 00:07:08,270
Lyndsey was the only
good thing in my life.
170
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:10,356
(sobbing) Oh, God...
It's okay.
171
00:07:10,358 --> 00:07:12,341
(sobbing loudly)
Let it all out.
172
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:13,359
(Alan wails)
173
00:07:13,361 --> 00:07:15,528
(sobbing noisily)
174
00:07:18,348 --> 00:07:21,450
That's a lot out.
Let's-let's put some back in.
175
00:07:21,452 --> 00:07:25,154
(Alan wails)
176
00:07:25,156 --> 00:07:28,190
Now you're all I have!
177
00:07:28,192 --> 00:07:30,376
(Alan sobbing)
178
00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:39,501
(Walden sobbing)
179
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:43,339
(sobbing)
I know.
180
00:07:47,561 --> 00:07:48,811
Good morning.
181
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,679
Beautiful day.
182
00:07:50,681 --> 00:07:52,731
To... stick your head
in an oven?
183
00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:56,819
Okay, I realize I was a
little upset last night.
184
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:58,153
A little?
185
00:07:58,155 --> 00:08:00,555
You Googled "how to kill
yourself without it hurting."
186
00:08:00,557 --> 00:08:02,424
(singsongy)
Drama queen.
187
00:08:02,426 --> 00:08:04,460
But I woke up
this morning
188
00:08:04,462 --> 00:08:06,528
and I realized, "What
am I so upset about?"
189
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,397
Lyndsey and I are
not breaking up.
190
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:11,634
Okay.
191
00:08:11,636 --> 00:08:15,337
So, when she said that she
didn't want to see you anymore
192
00:08:15,339 --> 00:08:17,690
and she didn't think you made
a good couple
193
00:08:17,692 --> 00:08:19,224
and she wasn't in love with you,
that...
194
00:08:19,226 --> 00:08:20,376
What do you call that?
195
00:08:20,378 --> 00:08:23,078
Foreplay.
196
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,747
Okay. Looks like someone's
starting the day
197
00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:28,100
with a hot, steaming cup
of denial.
198
00:08:28,102 --> 00:08:30,686
No, no, no. This is a little
dance we do all the time.
199
00:08:30,688 --> 00:08:32,521
She decides that
I did something wrong
200
00:08:32,523 --> 00:08:33,789
and gives me the business,
201
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:34,957
and then I apologize,
202
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:36,659
and I give her the business.
203
00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:41,113
Okay, see, that right there?
204
00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:43,065
That's why she broke up
with you.
205
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,200
I'm telling you,
we are not broken up.
206
00:08:45,202 --> 00:08:47,569
Okay, I see what
you're doing here,
207
00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:50,172
but pretending like what
happened didn't happen
208
00:08:50,174 --> 00:08:51,407
won't make it not happen,
209
00:08:51,409 --> 00:08:54,743
no matter what you would like
to have had happened.
210
00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:56,578
Yeah, that's right.
211
00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:59,331
Well, thank you,
I appreciate it.
212
00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,800
But if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go get my girl back.
213
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,319
Okay.
214
00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:05,554
Just in case,
I'll preheat the oven.
215
00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:11,193
(doorbell rings)
216
00:09:13,129 --> 00:09:15,197
Alan?
217
00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:16,598
What are you doing here?
218
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,684
What am I doing here?
219
00:09:18,686 --> 00:09:20,102
That's what I love about you.
220
00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:21,437
Okay, let's do this.
221
00:09:21,439 --> 00:09:23,856
I'm sorry.
222
00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:27,976
There's nothing
to be sorry about.
223
00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:29,745
Our relationship just
isn't going anywhere.
224
00:09:29,747 --> 00:09:32,581
All right, all right. Message
received, loud and clear.
225
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,033
Now let's get down to bidness.
226
00:09:35,735 --> 00:09:38,087
Alan, it's over.
227
00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:39,488
But... but why?
228
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:41,674
I-It just is.
229
00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,592
Is it because we don't
like the same things?
230
00:09:43,594 --> 00:09:45,794
'Cause I can learn
to love sports.
231
00:09:45,796 --> 00:09:47,329
It has nothing
to do with that...
232
00:09:47,331 --> 00:09:48,630
Is it, is it
because I'm-I'm frugal?
233
00:09:48,632 --> 00:09:49,882
'Cause okay, watch this.
234
00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:53,519
I am going to rip a twent--
a five-dollar bill in half.
235
00:09:53,521 --> 00:09:54,720
Okay?
236
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:58,474
Tell me that's not sexy.
237
00:09:58,476 --> 00:10:01,009
Okay, look... (sighs)
238
00:10:01,011 --> 00:10:02,695
I didn't want
to have to say this,
239
00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:06,315
but the fact of the matter is...
240
00:10:06,317 --> 00:10:07,316
I've met someone else.
241
00:10:07,318 --> 00:10:09,068
Oh. Wow.
242
00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:10,352
Wow. Uh...
243
00:10:10,354 --> 00:10:12,538
World spinning,
uh, gut tightening,
244
00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:14,373
vomit rising... um...
245
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,091
I'm really sorry.
246
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,710
Well, well, who is he?
What's the difference?
247
00:10:17,712 --> 00:10:20,212
Well, I-I need to know
who my competition is.
248
00:10:20,214 --> 00:10:21,714
I-I need to know how I can win.
249
00:10:21,716 --> 00:10:24,049
You can't win.
250
00:10:24,051 --> 00:10:25,134
Good-bye, Alan.
251
00:10:25,136 --> 00:10:27,236
(laughing)
252
00:10:27,238 --> 00:10:29,304
Well, I have got
news for you.
253
00:10:29,306 --> 00:10:32,391
The word "win" is not
in my vocabular...
254
00:10:32,393 --> 00:10:33,475
"Can't."
255
00:10:33,477 --> 00:10:36,311
The word "can't" is not
in my vocabulary.
256
00:10:36,313 --> 00:10:38,013
Damn it.
257
00:10:38,015 --> 00:10:39,081
(screams)
258
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:41,216
Son of a bitch!
259
00:10:41,218 --> 00:10:42,184
(kicks)
260
00:10:42,186 --> 00:10:44,436
(screams)
261
00:10:48,024 --> 00:10:50,058
Of course.
262
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,261
Dog crap.
263
00:10:58,653 --> 00:11:00,938
(grunts)
264
00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:04,107
Hey, there's soup on the stove
if you want some.
265
00:11:04,109 --> 00:11:07,211
I wonder if Lyndsey's
new boyfriend likes soup.
266
00:11:07,213 --> 00:11:09,630
He probably loves soup.
267
00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:11,982
And wears cable knit sweaters.
268
00:11:11,984 --> 00:11:14,001
"Look at me,
I'm eating soup
269
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:16,587
"and wearing a sweater
while I bang the memory
270
00:11:16,589 --> 00:11:18,472
of Alan Harper
out of this woman's mind."
271
00:11:18,474 --> 00:11:22,843
(fake chuckles)
272
00:11:24,729 --> 00:11:26,396
Alan, let it go.
273
00:11:26,398 --> 00:11:27,431
You brought it up.
274
00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:29,183
I brought up soup.
275
00:11:30,101 --> 00:11:32,319
I can't stop thinking about him.
276
00:11:32,321 --> 00:11:35,205
And her...
and what they're doing.
277
00:11:35,207 --> 00:11:37,825
And what position
they're doing it in.
278
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,476
And where they're doing it.
279
00:11:39,478 --> 00:11:42,196
In the bed, in the shower,
at the Costco
280
00:11:42,198 --> 00:11:45,315
between the meat and the tires.
That was our place!
281
00:11:45,317 --> 00:11:48,268
That shouldn't be
anyone's place.
282
00:11:49,671 --> 00:11:51,538
And you're obsessing.
No, I'm not.
283
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:53,657
Right, we all picture
our exes screwing
284
00:11:53,659 --> 00:11:55,709
between a rump roast
and a snow tire.
285
00:11:55,711 --> 00:11:58,212
You know what,
I-I'm gonna go for a drive.
286
00:11:58,214 --> 00:11:59,329
Where?
287
00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:01,131
Just out, you know, joyride.
288
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:04,101
I've seen your car,
there's no joy in that ride.
289
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,554
Now where are you going?
I'm just gonna drive
290
00:12:07,556 --> 00:12:09,807
up the coast a little bit.
Take in the sea air.
291
00:12:09,809 --> 00:12:12,025
How? Your windows
don't roll down.
292
00:12:12,027 --> 00:12:14,394
Just the ones in the front. The
ones in the back don't roll up.
293
00:12:14,396 --> 00:12:16,113
Good-bye.
294
00:12:16,948 --> 00:12:19,233
I should buy him a new car.
295
00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:21,618
So he can live in it.
296
00:12:23,371 --> 00:12:25,072
♪ Men
297
00:12:25,074 --> 00:12:26,573
All right.
298
00:12:26,575 --> 00:12:28,408
Where are they?
299
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:32,713
(sighs) They're probably
watching sports right now.
300
00:12:32,715 --> 00:12:35,532
"Hello, Lyndsey,
you don't mind if I watch
301
00:12:35,534 --> 00:12:39,035
"this baseball game
in the nude, do you?
302
00:12:39,037 --> 00:12:42,089
"Sure, you can kiss me
between the strikes
303
00:12:42,091 --> 00:12:44,925
and I'll kiss you
between the balls."
304
00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:46,677
(phone rings)
305
00:12:48,012 --> 00:12:50,681
Oh.
306
00:12:50,683 --> 00:12:52,316
Hey, Walden.
307
00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:54,234
Yeah, I'm just, uh,
you know, taking a drive
308
00:12:54,236 --> 00:12:57,104
down the Malibu coast,
trying to clear my head.
309
00:12:57,106 --> 00:12:59,406
Yeah, now I'm, uh,
I'm walking on the beach.
310
00:12:59,408 --> 00:13:01,358
Sand feels nice on my toesies.
311
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,744
(pounding)
(screams)
312
00:13:06,614 --> 00:13:07,898
Walking on the beach, huh?
313
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,082
Are you stalking me?
314
00:13:09,084 --> 00:13:10,334
Are you stalking Lyndsey?
315
00:13:10,336 --> 00:13:12,219
I asked you first.
316
00:13:12,221 --> 00:13:13,303
Look, this
is pathetic.
317
00:13:13,305 --> 00:13:14,421
Sitting outside
a woman's house,
318
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:16,506
trying to catch of glimpse
of her through the window.
319
00:13:16,508 --> 00:13:18,008
What kind
of person does that?
320
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:20,410
(pounding)
(both scream)
321
00:13:21,262 --> 00:13:23,597
Hey, guys, what are we doing?
322
00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:25,883
Playing a little peek-a-boo
with Lyndsey?
323
00:13:25,885 --> 00:13:27,100
No.
324
00:13:27,102 --> 00:13:29,052
Yes.
325
00:13:29,054 --> 00:13:30,354
Lyndsey broke
up with Alan
326
00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:31,855
and he's having a hard
time understanding.
327
00:13:31,857 --> 00:13:33,557
Oh, well, one look
at the new guy
328
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:34,558
and you'd understand it.
329
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,977
What, you've seen him?
Oh, yeah.
330
00:13:36,979 --> 00:13:37,895
Nick's gorgeous.
331
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:39,029
Kind of looks like Walden.
332
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:40,480
Aw, thank you.
333
00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:43,233
Y-You know his name,
so you-you've met him?
334
00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,035
Well, no,
but I've heard her yell it.
335
00:13:45,037 --> 00:13:47,704
It's either Nick
or Oh, God, Right There.
336
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,607
Oh, that's it.
337
00:13:50,609 --> 00:13:52,776
I got to see this Nick guy
for myself.
338
00:13:53,828 --> 00:13:56,112
No, Alan, don't.
339
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:57,831
You're better than this.
340
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,967
We both know
that's not true!
341
00:14:00,952 --> 00:14:04,004
Yeah, I feel for him.
It's got to be tough.
342
00:14:04,006 --> 00:14:06,122
Yeah, no doubt.
343
00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:08,592
You really are
a very handsome man.
344
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:11,127
Again... thank you.
345
00:14:11,129 --> 00:14:15,148
It's not hard to imagine you
naked and cast in marble.
346
00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:19,469
Getting weird, Herb.
347
00:14:19,471 --> 00:14:21,438
Right.
348
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:28,328
All right.
349
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,663
Where are you, you homewrecker?
350
00:14:29,665 --> 00:14:31,949
(crackling)
Oh...
351
00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:39,322
(panting)
352
00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:43,877
That's better.
353
00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:46,196
(owl hoots)
354
00:14:46,198 --> 00:14:47,464
(screams)
355
00:14:47,466 --> 00:14:49,683
(thud)
Ugh.
356
00:14:51,185 --> 00:14:53,720
Can this get any worse?
357
00:14:53,722 --> 00:14:57,674
LYNDSEY:
Oh, God, Nick, right there!
358
00:14:57,676 --> 00:15:00,343
ALAN:
Aw.
359
00:15:02,647 --> 00:15:05,649
(beeping)
360
00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:06,700
Lyndsey,
361
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:07,951
hey.
362
00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:09,002
Hey,
363
00:15:09,004 --> 00:15:10,237
I need your help.
364
00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:12,990
You need my help getting
back together with Alan?
365
00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:16,159
No. I need you to tell him
to stop calling, e-mailing,
366
00:15:16,161 --> 00:15:17,160
and texting me.
367
00:15:17,162 --> 00:15:18,528
Words and pictures.
368
00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,163
Especially the pictures.
369
00:15:21,032 --> 00:15:23,467
He's just upset.
He means well.
370
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:25,168
Really?
Does this picture look
371
00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:26,370
like he means well?
372
00:15:26,372 --> 00:15:28,972
Oh, dear God.
373
00:15:28,974 --> 00:15:32,576
Is he lying on my kitchen table?
374
00:15:32,578 --> 00:15:34,544
So, will you talk to him?
375
00:15:34,546 --> 00:15:38,565
Sure, right after I burn
my kitchen table.
376
00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:43,219
Thank you. By the way, you might
want to burn your bathtub, too.
377
00:15:43,221 --> 00:15:44,237
(Alan grunting)
378
00:15:44,239 --> 00:15:46,239
Oh, he's coming now.
Got to go.
379
00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:48,658
(grunting)
380
00:15:49,527 --> 00:15:52,863
Hey. There he is.
381
00:15:52,865 --> 00:15:55,532
Looking good.
382
00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:57,584
Ha-ha.
383
00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:59,669
(grunts)
384
00:15:59,671 --> 00:16:01,288
Where you going?
385
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:03,573
Lyndsey un-friended me
on Facebook.
386
00:16:03,575 --> 00:16:06,877
So I'm going to go
re-friend her with my face.
387
00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:08,478
No, you're not.
388
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,080
You can't stop me.
389
00:16:19,423 --> 00:16:22,125
Damn you.
390
00:16:27,448 --> 00:16:28,932
(knocking)
391
00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:30,617
Hey, Zip.
392
00:16:30,619 --> 00:16:32,402
Oh, what do you want?
393
00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:36,406
A motorcycle and another night
with Neil Diamond.
394
00:16:36,408 --> 00:16:38,875
But for now we need to talk.
395
00:16:38,877 --> 00:16:40,827
I just want to be left alone.
396
00:16:40,829 --> 00:16:43,630
Like I'm gonna be
for the rest of my life.
397
00:16:43,632 --> 00:16:45,949
Look, Lyndsey's crazy
for breaking up with you.
398
00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:47,501
You are a great guy.
399
00:16:47,503 --> 00:16:48,718
You're just saying that.
400
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,170
I know I'm rough on you,
401
00:16:50,172 --> 00:16:51,338
but that's just for fun.
402
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,640
I really mean this.
403
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:55,842
Oh, thank you.
404
00:16:55,844 --> 00:16:58,228
All right,
good talk.
405
00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,629
How?
406
00:16:59,631 --> 00:17:01,148
What?
407
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,466
How am I a great guy?
408
00:17:03,468 --> 00:17:06,736
(sighs)
409
00:17:06,738 --> 00:17:09,806
Well, you're
punctual.
410
00:17:09,808 --> 00:17:12,308
I-I do make it
a priority to be on time.
411
00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:13,827
Yep.
412
00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:15,612
What else?
413
00:17:15,614 --> 00:17:18,582
(sighs)
414
00:17:18,584 --> 00:17:20,000
Okay.
415
00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:23,370
You have pretty good toilet aim.
416
00:17:23,372 --> 00:17:26,289
And that's important
to a housekeeper.
417
00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:29,092
My secret is, I sit down.
418
00:17:29,944 --> 00:17:31,928
And that should've
stayed a secret.
419
00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:33,346
Take care.
420
00:17:33,348 --> 00:17:34,764
Berta?
421
00:17:34,766 --> 00:17:37,884
(sighs)
What?
422
00:17:37,886 --> 00:17:40,287
I-I-If I'm such
a great guy,
423
00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:42,806
then why did
Lyndsey leave me?
424
00:17:42,808 --> 00:17:45,008
Oh, there's no telling
with chicks.
425
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:48,478
But don't worry...
you'll find somebody else.
426
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:49,813
As good as Lyndsey?
427
00:17:49,815 --> 00:17:50,981
(chuckles)
428
00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:55,152
Look at you,
already making jokes.
429
00:17:58,573 --> 00:18:00,023
How'd it go?
430
00:18:00,025 --> 00:18:02,025
He's gonna die alone.
431
00:18:02,027 --> 00:18:04,027
And he pees sitting down.
432
00:18:08,499 --> 00:18:11,534
I really don't want
to be here, Walden.
433
00:18:11,536 --> 00:18:12,752
What are you
talking about?
434
00:18:12,754 --> 00:18:13,920
You're doing great.
435
00:18:13,922 --> 00:18:16,306
You shaved,
you showered.
436
00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:18,175
You realized wearing
Lyndsey's underwear
437
00:18:18,177 --> 00:18:21,011
wasn't a
long-term solution.
438
00:18:21,013 --> 00:18:22,879
I may have it together
on the outside,
439
00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:24,547
but on the inside
I'm still a wreck.
440
00:18:24,549 --> 00:18:27,267
I just want to go home and
eat ice cream on the toilet
441
00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:28,384
until I fall asleep.
442
00:18:28,386 --> 00:18:30,887
Would you listen
to yourself?
443
00:18:30,889 --> 00:18:33,156
Trust me, tonight
is going to be fun.
444
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,725
Okay. But if it's not,
you're gonna have to watch
445
00:18:35,727 --> 00:18:37,060
The Notebook with me.
446
00:18:37,062 --> 00:18:39,395
Really? Again?
447
00:18:40,248 --> 00:18:41,948
WOMAN:
Walden.
448
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,334
Oh, hey, Allie, hi.
449
00:18:44,336 --> 00:18:46,836
This is, uh, my friend Alan
I was telling you about.
450
00:18:46,838 --> 00:18:47,837
Hi, Alan.
451
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:48,838
Hello.
452
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,540
You two have
a lot in common.
453
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:51,958
Really?
454
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,044
You know your girlfriend's
new boyfriend, Nick?
455
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:55,078
Yeah.
456
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,214
I'm his
soon-to-be ex-wife.
457
00:18:57,949 --> 00:19:00,433
I'll just
let you two talk.
458
00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:02,647
Oh, oh... you know, I-I
459
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:05,023
can see what Walden's
trying to do here,
460
00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:08,024
and he means well,
but, um, I-I don't know
461
00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:09,425
that I'm emotionally
ready to jump
462
00:19:09,427 --> 00:19:11,261
back into the relation...
How do you feel about revenge sex?
463
00:19:11,263 --> 00:19:12,562
Big fan. I'll
get the check.
464
00:19:20,988 --> 00:19:23,123
Well, well, well.
465
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,675
Look who's doing
the walk of shame.
466
00:19:25,677 --> 00:19:28,094
More like the stride of pride.
467
00:19:29,163 --> 00:19:31,381
Guess who heard
"Oh, God, right there"
468
00:19:31,383 --> 00:19:33,767
multiple times last night?
469
00:19:33,769 --> 00:19:34,834
Not Nick.
470
00:19:34,836 --> 00:19:36,352
Well,
congratulations.
471
00:19:36,354 --> 00:19:37,954
I'm very happy
for you.
472
00:19:37,956 --> 00:19:40,190
I have you to thank you it.
Ah, I didn't do anything.
473
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:42,559
Well, tracking Allie down
couldn't have been easy.
474
00:19:42,561 --> 00:19:43,676
It wasn't that hard.
475
00:19:43,678 --> 00:19:45,028
When we were
outside Lyndsey's house,
476
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:46,980
she was parked right behind us.
477
00:19:47,982 --> 00:19:50,450
Which is ironic,
because last night I was parked
478
00:19:50,452 --> 00:19:53,620
behind her...
I got it, I got it.
479
00:19:53,622 --> 00:19:55,738
I'm happy you're
feeling better.
480
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:56,923
Oh, yeah.
481
00:19:56,925 --> 00:19:59,759
And let me tell you,
revenge sex is way better
482
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:02,078
than revenge masturbation.
483
00:20:04,765 --> 00:20:08,501
Course, there's no reason
you can't do both.
484
00:20:12,974 --> 00:20:14,909
Oh, God, why am I eating
on this table?
485
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:24,680
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Resync for WEBDL by lost0ne
www.addic7ed.com