1
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,340
We've talked about cohesion and coherence.

2
00:00:23,550 --> 00:00:26,040
Now let's talk about concise writing.

3
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,660
Concise writing is a key skill for getting a really, really high score.

4
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:38,220
It's not easy, but if you want to know what a skill, how you know somebody is a skilled writer is

5
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:40,410
because they're able to write concisely.

6
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:44,940
Writing concisely means every word in the sentence counts.

7
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:53,340
Sometimes when I see student writing, they have a lot of articles in and b verbs and helping verbs

8
00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:57,540
and just a lot of just extra frivolous language.

9
00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:05,070
And they create these super long sentences because they have so many extra words, like you can have

10
00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:08,760
a long sentence where every word counts.

11
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:16,210
And there's a difference between between between that between that type of writing and having just extra

12
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,080
words.

13
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:28,330
So here are some keys to eliminating, eliminating or being able to be concise in terms of your writing.

14
00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:34,300
So you want to be able to eliminate unnecessary determinants and modifiers.

15
00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:37,240
So, for example, look, hear this example.

16
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,450
Any particular type of dessert is fine with me.

17
00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:42,160
Right.

18
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,140
Look at the more concise version.

19
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,120
Any dessert is fine with me.

20
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:49,880
But look at these extra words.

21
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,900
Particular type of dessert.

22
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,030
Any dessert?

23
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:56,720
Any dessert is the same thing as saying particular type of dessert.

24
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:00,200
Now, some of you might be saying, well, the sentence is correct.

25
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,400
So what does it matter?

26
00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:08,630
Well, again, concise writing is high level writing.

27
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:15,170
And we know this because when you look at a basic level English student, they have these types of sentences

28
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:18,590
that are really long because they have this extra words.

29
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:24,170
They don't they don't have the ability to say the same thing with less.

30
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:35,730
High level English writing happens where you're able to say the same thing with less the same impact

31
00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:38,850
with less balancing.

32
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:43,620
Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help.

33
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,440
Again, extra language.

34
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:52,200
Extra language as some of you, again, you're going to say, but there's nothing wrong with it.

35
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:59,490
I'm trying to tell you the difference between a high score on the rubric and a lower score on the rubric,

36
00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:06,390
because lower level English students use that kind of writing some kind of.

37
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:11,100
So here we are again.

38
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:17,850
Another way to be able to be more concise, change phrases into single words.

39
00:03:18,210 --> 00:03:19,020
Look here.

40
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,100
The employee with ambition, the ambitious employee.

41
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:28,960
The department is showing the best performance, the best the best performing department.

42
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:38,020
That kind of writing, that concise writing where you're changing phrases into single words is the type

43
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:40,600
of writing that gets really high scores.

44
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,540
When a greater sees that, they're like, Wow.

45
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,880
Wow.

46
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,060
This person really knows how to write very, very well.

47
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:55,610
When they see a lot of those extra words, it it doesn't really impress them.

48
00:03:57,140 --> 00:04:06,320
So something else you can do is change unnecessary change the unnecessary words that who which clauses

49
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,490
into phrases.

50
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,940
Again, the report which was recently released.

51
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,550
The recently released report.

52
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,670
All applicants who are interested in the job must.

53
00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:21,570
All job applicants must write.

54
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:28,310
That is what when we talk about concise writing, when we talk about concise writing, that's what we're

55
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,270
talking about.

56
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,270
That's what it means to write concisely.

57
00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:39,110
So we also have to avoid overusing explicit, explicit expletives.

58
00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:39,720
I'm sorry.

59
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,280
Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of a sentence.

60
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,350
So I see this one a lot.

61
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,670
It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.

62
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:52,340
There are four rules that should be observed.

63
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:56,000
Write the governor signs or vetoes bills.

64
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,430
Four rules should be observed.

65
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:01,010
That is concise writing.

66
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:07,430
That is the kind of writing that will get you a really, really high score.

67
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,760
Use the active voice rather than the passive voice.

68
00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,820
An account was opened by Mrs. Sims.

69
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,710
Mrs. Sims opened an account.

70
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:26,720
When you're writing when you're writing, 90% of your writing should be in the active voice.

71
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:31,250
90% of your writing should be in the active voice.

72
00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:35,690
When you write in the active voice, you avoid being wordy.

73
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:43,850
There are only are there only are specific situations where you use the passive voice.

74
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:50,480
So if you're just using the passive voice all over the whole essay or over the whole report, and you

75
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:56,930
don't have the specific situation that calls for using the passive voice, you're going to get marked

76
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:57,920
down for that.

77
00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:02,930
Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs.

78
00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:07,160
The function of this department is the collection of accounts.

79
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:10,070
This department collects accounts.

80
00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:15,670
The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention.

81
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:18,970
The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.

82
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:19,630
Look at this.

83
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,010
Look at this last sentence.

84
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:32,440
I want you to I just want to point out to you extra words, right of the ears, extra words here in

85
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,040
this sentence.

86
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:37,600
In this sentence at the bottom, every word is necessary.

87
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,570
Every word is necessary.

88
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,910
That's what concise writing is.

89
00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:44,860
Everything is necessary.

90
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:46,960
Everything is needed.

91
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:51,370
Too many times, students write sentences that have language that is not needed.

92
00:06:53,530 --> 00:07:01,600
All right, so you have to also reword unnecessary or infinitive phrases, reword, unnecessary or infinitive

93
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,440
phrases.

94
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:10,870
Some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief noun phrases.

95
00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:18,100
Making such changes often results in the replacement of a verb with an action verb, right?

96
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:26,380
So example the duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail, all incoming mail, and to record it

97
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:27,610
all.

98
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:33,010
Clerk checks, a clerk checks and records all incoming mail.

99
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,000
That is a concise sentence, right?

100
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:44,310
So a lot of times when I'm writing compound sentence or complex sentences, my sentences are longer.

101
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:46,520
But my sentences are.

102
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:53,320
All right.

103
00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:56,520
Sometimes you want to combine sentences to avoid wordiness.

104
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:57,510
Exactly.

105
00:07:57,630 --> 00:08:00,450
This is why I preach and preach and preach.

106
00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:07,200
Having the ability to write compound in complex sentences because it cuts out so many, so many extra

107
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:07,980
words.

108
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:11,910
In this top sentence, we have 22 words.

109
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,940
In this bottom sentence, we have 17 words.

110
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,260
Now, some of you may say, well, that's just five words.

111
00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:21,180
Yes, but it makes a difference.

112
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,670
Concise writing reads better.

113
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:27,000
The best writers write concisely.

114
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:31,740
This is what you have to do if you want a really, really high score.

115
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:33,030
Right.

116
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:39,040
So don't come and ask me something like, well, can I be wordy and still get a really high score?

117
00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:50,790
You've got you're you really are making it a challenge to for a greater to give you a high score if

118
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:59,430
you are extremely wordy in your sentences because it's not impressive wordiness is not impressive.

119
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,150
Being concise is really, really impressive.

120
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:09,930
So if you're asking me about getting a high score, it's all about your ability to impress the greater.

121
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:12,410
Right.

122
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,220
So you want to also eliminate some common wordy expressions.

123
00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:19,360
Avoid.

124
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:21,960
There is and there are constructions.

125
00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:23,460
Cut them out.

126
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:25,440
Stop using them.

127
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:27,720
Stop using them.

128
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:30,140
All right.

129
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,710
If you want to write more concisely, stop using.

130
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,210
There is and there are.

131
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,100
Just stop.

132
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:41,270
Because it sounds better when you don't use them.

133
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:42,980
It's better writing.

134
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,060
Avoid using the first person.

135
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:48,260
Right.

136
00:09:48,530 --> 00:09:53,000
Wordy, I think that Jorge's wife is unhappy because Jorge ignores her.

137
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,660
George's wife is unhappy because Jorge ignores her.

138
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,060
This is a proper sentence.

139
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:02,580
This is a high level sentence.

140
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,210
This first sentence is a basic level sentence.

141
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:07,910
Right.

142
00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:13,530
I hope that you're seeing the difference between basic level writing and advanced level writing.

143
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:15,310
Right.

144
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:18,040
Sometimes people think, well, it's just about vocabulary.

145
00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:18,960
No, it's not.

146
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,830
Is more about sentence structure.

147
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,310
Right.

148
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,170
It's more about sentence structure.

149
00:10:27,310 --> 00:10:30,120
So do you have any questions?

150
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,190
If you have any questions about concise writing, let me know.

151
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:44,350
I'm going to include a couple of exercises and you should do those exercises to work on your to work

152
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,540
on your ability to do concise writing.

153
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,660
So thanks a lot and I will talk to you soon.

